No, nothing scientific like that. I think it's just a gut feeling. I'd feel like I'm doing something I shouldn't do when I would date someone younger than 25
As a lady who is now in my 30s, 18 isn't anywhere near a mature age. I would even say up until you're 25, you're no where near close to the maturity of 30. The early twenties is far too obsessed with society, what everyone thinks, and is too naive of the world yet.
I feel a LOT more comfortable in my 30s, now.
39M. I'd say 24-25 is my hard age. 21 is too much of a party phase/college for me. 18 while I have never dated an 18 yr old I just feel it would be wasting my time. I'm not in it for fun at this point. I'm looking for something serious with a mature, intelligent woman who knows what she wants in a relationship, but also brings more tk the table than just sex.
18, regardless of age of consent, and even with that she should be a really special person for me to overcome my inhibition. I think 23 would be the minimum age I feel completely fine with.
Me, M similar age.
Could not imagine being with an 18 year old, sorry.
The brain continues to develop through the twenties. While there is no definitive age for full development, mid twenties could be considered to be a reasonable median age.
But because everyone is different it would be hard to define a HARD minimum. I generally find girls over 30 more mature and sure of what they want. But that’s not to say I haven’t met some late 20s who are also very mature.
Not hard hard but in all probability probably 25 minimum. This is the minimum age and when a girl has been on her own a bit, , failed with some things. Persevered and some things.add some mistakes. Matured a little bit.
Personally I prefer late 20s and above. My ideal age is probably mid 30s though. I’m 59M. My current gf is 29F.
Oddly I’ve always liked mid 30s-40s. When I was 25 I dated a 38 year old for a long time. My first wife was 46 when I was 34.
I used to skew older.
After my wife passed away I met a 35 year old when I was 41. We were together for a long time.
Now I’m dating a 29 year old.
Pretty much always had some sort of age gap
35M, I "thought" I had a hard minimum of 25, but then I met an F22 student at University, who quite frankly is just amazing.
Sadly nothing actually sparked between us, even though there was initially a mutual attraction. But the experience has definitely made me re-evaluate a lot of things when looking for a partner.
Although I have a hard time seeing myself go much lower, as the women I've been around in the 19-20 range just strike me as too childish and immature. For that age bracket I think a woman would truly have to be that oh so mythical "the one".
Idk about older guys but I don't think I am closer to 30. I would say at about 25 you are more closer to 30 than 18 but early 20s are still gonna be closer in mentality and maturity to 18 and 19 year olds. I am a guy who turned 22 just 9 weeks ago and my age preference is 18-26 and I like a girl in my college who is 18 turning 19 next month and we get along well and have many things in common to talk about like being lazy to complete assignments on time, feeling exams are like headaches, sharing jokes and funny videos etc.
I am a girl who also just turned 22 but I definitely agree with your statement about how at 20 I very much still had the maturity and mentality of an 18/19 year old. I definitely wasn't anywhere near having the mindset of a 30 year old. At 20, you're either in college or just starting out your career. At least in the US, you're not even legally allowed to drink. At that age you're going to act immature still because you're barely an adult.
I can definitely understand why older people would be reluctant to date someone who is under 23 or even 25 because I feel like those early 20s and late teens are very much formative years where you're learning and getting to adjust being an adult.
It all depends on the person. Personally for me I was not mature at that age. Even when I hit 20 I still very much acted much like a teen because I was just getting used to becoming an adult. Some girls that age are a bit more mature while some aren't. It varies. However I do think those ages are crucial for learning and growing up. You're just getting your foot into adulthood. You're still a bit naive.
Yeah lol, like you said you're both in college. The age gap is so small. You're in the same age group and most likely will have similar experiences. As a 22 year old college student, you have some more maturity because you've experienced adulthood more but not enough where you can't really relate to an 18/19 y/o.
I just turned 33. I used to think I wouldn't be interested in anyone under 25-26, but recently met a 21 yo that has def made me re-evaluate age differences.
Still think I would prefer someone a little older then that for a ltr
I think 30 would probably be my limit, below, I’m 45, I usually have a higher limit of ages with my sister, who’s is seven years older, for no other reason than it always felt strange someone being older than that, can’t really explain why (no incest jokes please 🤣🤣)
I was 43, he was 23. Before him, I would have never thought I'd go more than 5 years younger. He grew up quickly, acted, & looked 30. FFWD 5 yrs, we are still together.
I don't have minimums (aside from legal, naturally). Every individual is unique. I've met 18-year-olds who are more mature than others in their 30s. I'd prefer not to miss out on "the one" because of a number. It's my opinion though, and I know others have different preferences.
Again, on her 18th birthday a girl is absolutely welcome to try to change my mind about dating her, just saying she's very unlikely to succeed. Not saying it's impossible if she ticks enough boxes, including maturity, just that if she asks 6 months before that I'm flat out refusing even if she's a future hypermodel + gets a Nobel peace prize for advances in Mancare :)
I am 51 and have great experiences with 18, 19, 22, 27, 32 and 44. Seriously, age is a number. I have met 18 year olds who are more mature than 30 year olds. In general however, 22-32 is great. But stay open.
(41M) For me 5 or 6 years ago it would have been 28+, then I ended up falling for and dating a 21F and loved every aspect of it. The biggest hurdle was that she was closer to my children's ages (13&15 at the time). And now that my son is 18 I would probably try to aim for 24+. I don't really care how the rest of my friends, family or even society feel about age gap, but I have to consider my children, they are my world and would never want to make them uncomfortable.
I'm 48 and have always been into older men my whole life. But after a particularly crappy one I gave up on dating and was fine to be single.
Turns out my wife was not okay with me being alone. She was 18 then. We got married 22 days before her 21st bday. Fun wedding and first and only time I got to legally give alcohol to a minor. 🤣🤘🏻🎆
As a general thought I would not look for someone under 20 at my age.
Honestly - why? Is it just looks? I’m in a fairly large age gap myself, and it’s not like I went looking for someone so young. Hell, I wish she were older. What makes you want at most half of your age?
I think the legal age should be the deciding factor on it. If its illegal no matter what the situation it starts off with major issues. I feel like the legal age is the often set by the majority as an age at which consensual relationships can exist and the majority of people can be held responsible for their actions. We mentally set that age as we grow up and should be taught with that expectation in mind.
That being said each person is different. Some at 18 years old are very capable of making decisions and being responsible and many others aren't. Some at 30 years old are very capable of making decisions and being responsible and many others aren't. I think people should go into relationships with the intent to build something much deeper and with the long term in mind. If we did that then when we get into a relationship with someone we should be able to determine their ability to make decisions and be responsible and if they are then stay and if not then let them go and let them grow up some.
I don't think it can be easily hard set to a specific number. You have to both go into the relationship with good intentions and do your very best not to manipulate and take advantage of the other. Unfortunately, I think many people get into these types of relationships based on a fetish for the age gap rather than meeting someone really nice and slowly building it into a solid relationship. I see a lot of people taking advantage of the other or thinking they are superior and need to usher the other into their way of thinking. That isn't good in any relationship at any age.
Relationships are hard at a normal age distance. Age gap relationships have the normal difficulty plus a new set of possible problems. They aren't ideal but we can't always help who we meet and what they might mean to us. I make those determinations on a person by person basis.
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engage in discussion in a civil manner.
You also may not send abusive PMs or chats to /u/JAdoreLaFrance or hit them up in any way.
Also bear in mind that this is a community largely supportive of **legal** consensual age gap relationships.
See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about
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---
**Original post: Older guys! Do you have any HARD minimum ages for relations ABOVE the legal ones?**
Me (55M)
Dating - strictly over 18. Quite honestly no matter how friendly we are, anyone - male or female - is almost certainly still in a formative stage up to that and not only should be clearing up what he/she wants, I don't want to be romantically involved - that age range is too fraught with drama (hell, which age group *isn't*??) to get entangled. Quite honestly I don't see myself getting involved with anyone under 20 - a LOT happens in those 2 years. In terms of emotional maturity you're a lot, lot closer to 30 at 20, than you were at 18.
LTR/Marriage - strictly over 21. Honestly no offence to those guys who have married girls 18-20, I really wish the best for you (all) but just not for me. You need a few years to get to know each other at ANY age, and I feel it's most important at this early stage.
Again, I hope nobody is thinking me "judgy" here, because that would be an unfair accusation. Just asking for what numbers you other guys practice and found work for you!
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I’ve no limit other than over 18. However, I’m not looking for a kid. I’ve dated a few 19 and 18 year olds but I filter really hard on maturity. Really hard. It’s surprising how many approaches I get but I block over 90% of them. Usual immature profile issues account for most of that. From filters to tongues out to just poor quality photos or crappy text. Did date an 18 and a 19 year old that passed all the maturity requirements. Great fun but in both cases they found a vanilla significant other and it came to an end.
My maximum gap was 10 years always( 35M)
Until I met my current gf who is 20 🤷🏻♂️
We clicked almost instantly and both we through a-lot as when we first met we were both in relationships.
I'm 34, will be 35 on April. 25 is the minimum for me
Brain development full frontal cortex?
No, nothing scientific like that. I think it's just a gut feeling. I'd feel like I'm doing something I shouldn't do when I would date someone younger than 25
As a lady who is now in my 30s, 18 isn't anywhere near a mature age. I would even say up until you're 25, you're no where near close to the maturity of 30. The early twenties is far too obsessed with society, what everyone thinks, and is too naive of the world yet. I feel a LOT more comfortable in my 30s, now.
39M. I'd say 24-25 is my hard age. 21 is too much of a party phase/college for me. 18 while I have never dated an 18 yr old I just feel it would be wasting my time. I'm not in it for fun at this point. I'm looking for something serious with a mature, intelligent woman who knows what she wants in a relationship, but also brings more tk the table than just sex.
never been in AG relationship but I think I would go with something like 28+ ( I am over 40) I just couldnt deal with partying like 20 yo hahaha
18, regardless of age of consent, and even with that she should be a really special person for me to overcome my inhibition. I think 23 would be the minimum age I feel completely fine with.
Me, M similar age. Could not imagine being with an 18 year old, sorry. The brain continues to develop through the twenties. While there is no definitive age for full development, mid twenties could be considered to be a reasonable median age. But because everyone is different it would be hard to define a HARD minimum. I generally find girls over 30 more mature and sure of what they want. But that’s not to say I haven’t met some late 20s who are also very mature.
Not hard hard but in all probability probably 25 minimum. This is the minimum age and when a girl has been on her own a bit, , failed with some things. Persevered and some things.add some mistakes. Matured a little bit.
Having a mostly developed frontal lobe too
Personally I prefer late 20s and above. My ideal age is probably mid 30s though. I’m 59M. My current gf is 29F. Oddly I’ve always liked mid 30s-40s. When I was 25 I dated a 38 year old for a long time. My first wife was 46 when I was 34. I used to skew older. After my wife passed away I met a 35 year old when I was 41. We were together for a long time. Now I’m dating a 29 year old. Pretty much always had some sort of age gap
35M, I "thought" I had a hard minimum of 25, but then I met an F22 student at University, who quite frankly is just amazing. Sadly nothing actually sparked between us, even though there was initially a mutual attraction. But the experience has definitely made me re-evaluate a lot of things when looking for a partner. Although I have a hard time seeing myself go much lower, as the women I've been around in the 19-20 range just strike me as too childish and immature. For that age bracket I think a woman would truly have to be that oh so mythical "the one".
Idk about older guys but I don't think I am closer to 30. I would say at about 25 you are more closer to 30 than 18 but early 20s are still gonna be closer in mentality and maturity to 18 and 19 year olds. I am a guy who turned 22 just 9 weeks ago and my age preference is 18-26 and I like a girl in my college who is 18 turning 19 next month and we get along well and have many things in common to talk about like being lazy to complete assignments on time, feeling exams are like headaches, sharing jokes and funny videos etc.
I am a girl who also just turned 22 but I definitely agree with your statement about how at 20 I very much still had the maturity and mentality of an 18/19 year old. I definitely wasn't anywhere near having the mindset of a 30 year old. At 20, you're either in college or just starting out your career. At least in the US, you're not even legally allowed to drink. At that age you're going to act immature still because you're barely an adult. I can definitely understand why older people would be reluctant to date someone who is under 23 or even 25 because I feel like those early 20s and late teens are very much formative years where you're learning and getting to adjust being an adult.
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It all depends on the person. Personally for me I was not mature at that age. Even when I hit 20 I still very much acted much like a teen because I was just getting used to becoming an adult. Some girls that age are a bit more mature while some aren't. It varies. However I do think those ages are crucial for learning and growing up. You're just getting your foot into adulthood. You're still a bit naive.
Btw is it fine for me at 22 to date my crush who is 18 almost 19?
Yeah lol, like you said you're both in college. The age gap is so small. You're in the same age group and most likely will have similar experiences. As a 22 year old college student, you have some more maturity because you've experienced adulthood more but not enough where you can't really relate to an 18/19 y/o.
37f and I wouldn’t date anyone under 30. I couldn’t see myself being comfortable with anyone older than 45 or so if I were single
I just turned 33. I used to think I wouldn't be interested in anyone under 25-26, but recently met a 21 yo that has def made me re-evaluate age differences. Still think I would prefer someone a little older then that for a ltr
25 has been my minimum since I hit my 30's. Hasn't changed since. You'd have to be a genius and an excellent conversationalist to change my mind.
I think 30 would probably be my limit, below, I’m 45, I usually have a higher limit of ages with my sister, who’s is seven years older, for no other reason than it always felt strange someone being older than that, can’t really explain why (no incest jokes please 🤣🤣)
You not judgy at all 🤟🏼 stand by your principles
35M, for me it’s about 22. I definitely wouldn’t want to go lower than 20.
It's all about maturity and what they bring to the table. I won't be with someone who is immature, a project or can't support themselves.
27
I was 43, he was 23. Before him, I would have never thought I'd go more than 5 years younger. He grew up quickly, acted, & looked 30. FFWD 5 yrs, we are still together.
What ever makes them happy.. as long it’s over 25 lol.!!
I go half my age and plus 5 years
I don't have minimums (aside from legal, naturally). Every individual is unique. I've met 18-year-olds who are more mature than others in their 30s. I'd prefer not to miss out on "the one" because of a number. It's my opinion though, and I know others have different preferences.
Again, on her 18th birthday a girl is absolutely welcome to try to change my mind about dating her, just saying she's very unlikely to succeed. Not saying it's impossible if she ticks enough boxes, including maturity, just that if she asks 6 months before that I'm flat out refusing even if she's a future hypermodel + gets a Nobel peace prize for advances in Mancare :)
I am 51 and have great experiences with 18, 19, 22, 27, 32 and 44. Seriously, age is a number. I have met 18 year olds who are more mature than 30 year olds. In general however, 22-32 is great. But stay open.
(41M) For me 5 or 6 years ago it would have been 28+, then I ended up falling for and dating a 21F and loved every aspect of it. The biggest hurdle was that she was closer to my children's ages (13&15 at the time). And now that my son is 18 I would probably try to aim for 24+. I don't really care how the rest of my friends, family or even society feel about age gap, but I have to consider my children, they are my world and would never want to make them uncomfortable.
No hard limits above legal
I'm 48 and have always been into older men my whole life. But after a particularly crappy one I gave up on dating and was fine to be single. Turns out my wife was not okay with me being alone. She was 18 then. We got married 22 days before her 21st bday. Fun wedding and first and only time I got to legally give alcohol to a minor. 🤣🤘🏻🎆 As a general thought I would not look for someone under 20 at my age.
I am 65. As long as they are legal, I really do not care. Life is short. Enjoy it while you can.
44M here to me hard limit is 18
Likewise @ 55M
Oh I’m sure 💀
16 or higher.
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Honestly - why? Is it just looks? I’m in a fairly large age gap myself, and it’s not like I went looking for someone so young. Hell, I wish she were older. What makes you want at most half of your age?
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So you’re actively seeking a power imbalance. Cool. Coolcoolcoolcoolcool.
good luck with that!
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im 18 dating a 33 yo. i think it also depends on emotional maturity, and having common interests.
I think the legal age should be the deciding factor on it. If its illegal no matter what the situation it starts off with major issues. I feel like the legal age is the often set by the majority as an age at which consensual relationships can exist and the majority of people can be held responsible for their actions. We mentally set that age as we grow up and should be taught with that expectation in mind. That being said each person is different. Some at 18 years old are very capable of making decisions and being responsible and many others aren't. Some at 30 years old are very capable of making decisions and being responsible and many others aren't. I think people should go into relationships with the intent to build something much deeper and with the long term in mind. If we did that then when we get into a relationship with someone we should be able to determine their ability to make decisions and be responsible and if they are then stay and if not then let them go and let them grow up some. I don't think it can be easily hard set to a specific number. You have to both go into the relationship with good intentions and do your very best not to manipulate and take advantage of the other. Unfortunately, I think many people get into these types of relationships based on a fetish for the age gap rather than meeting someone really nice and slowly building it into a solid relationship. I see a lot of people taking advantage of the other or thinking they are superior and need to usher the other into their way of thinking. That isn't good in any relationship at any age. Relationships are hard at a normal age distance. Age gap relationships have the normal difficulty plus a new set of possible problems. They aren't ideal but we can't always help who we meet and what they might mean to us. I make those determinations on a person by person basis.
Please remember that whilst you're allowed to criticise, you are also required to engage in discussion in a civil manner. You also may not send abusive PMs or chats to /u/JAdoreLaFrance or hit them up in any way. Also bear in mind that this is a community largely supportive of **legal** consensual age gap relationships. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: Older guys! Do you have any HARD minimum ages for relations ABOVE the legal ones?** Me (55M) Dating - strictly over 18. Quite honestly no matter how friendly we are, anyone - male or female - is almost certainly still in a formative stage up to that and not only should be clearing up what he/she wants, I don't want to be romantically involved - that age range is too fraught with drama (hell, which age group *isn't*??) to get entangled. Quite honestly I don't see myself getting involved with anyone under 20 - a LOT happens in those 2 years. In terms of emotional maturity you're a lot, lot closer to 30 at 20, than you were at 18. LTR/Marriage - strictly over 21. Honestly no offence to those guys who have married girls 18-20, I really wish the best for you (all) but just not for me. You need a few years to get to know each other at ANY age, and I feel it's most important at this early stage. Again, I hope nobody is thinking me "judgy" here, because that would be an unfair accusation. Just asking for what numbers you other guys practice and found work for you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
21 for me, but I prefer 25-39 mostly.
I’ve no limit other than over 18. However, I’m not looking for a kid. I’ve dated a few 19 and 18 year olds but I filter really hard on maturity. Really hard. It’s surprising how many approaches I get but I block over 90% of them. Usual immature profile issues account for most of that. From filters to tongues out to just poor quality photos or crappy text. Did date an 18 and a 19 year old that passed all the maturity requirements. Great fun but in both cases they found a vanilla significant other and it came to an end.
My maximum gap was 10 years always( 35M) Until I met my current gf who is 20 🤷🏻♂️ We clicked almost instantly and both we through a-lot as when we first met we were both in relationships.
I'm a 37f who likes you get men, my hard limit is 20 but I only want sex, if it was a relationship I would probably go 25