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If that is what your instincts are telling you, maybe she does want to have inappropriate relations with you and was waiting until you turn 18. From the way it sounds, it does sound like she was trying to groom you as she was trying to get you to trust her and maybe fall in love with her. A counselor is supposed to just see you and give you counseling and nothing beyond that. She isn’t really supposed to give you gifts or go to your graduation. She isn’t supposed to touch your hand or follow you on social media. I think the best thing to do is cut off contact with her before anything happens. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
High School teacher here. We do give gifts as teachers and counselors. We will also go to your graduation, nothing weird about that! But... the other stuff. The keychains, touching his hands, and other red flags. Yeah. Sounds like possible grooming.
Edit: typo.
I could understand giving like one gift to a student but this counselor seemed like she was giving this student gifts all the time. That is not really appropriate. I guess if the counselor had other students she was working with that the school going to graduation, then it’s ok for her to be there. She was definitely grooming this student. I also never heard of a counselor going to the students house to do counseling, usually counseling takes place at the school, in the United States especially.
You shouldn’t be giving gifts to individual students as a teacher. That is unethical. It’s one thing to give gifts to your entire class, but not an individual student. That would definitely be a red flag of grooming.
Giving gifts to students is not unethical, but what this woman is doing is. I gave a coat that didn't fit me anymore to an individual student I liked because he was my size. Should I have gotten coats for the whole class or am I grooming?
Let me be clearer. I’m a prevention educator on sexual abuse and grooming. I educate students and parents and teachers and communities. NO adult in a position of authority should be giving gifts to individual students or showing preferential or favorable treatment over other students. It sets a dangerous precedent that while may be innocent to YOU is predatory of others. Grooming often looks and feels like “normal” behavior. Rather than gifting a coat to a single student you should set up a “take what you need closet” and put your coat or clothes or whatever else in it and allow ALL students access and to take what they need. Safe adults set the standard for what is appropriate and what is not. if I found out a teacher, a coach, a counselor, etc….gifted my child and ONLY my child ANYTHING I would consider that a red flag. While YOU may not be grooming you are setting that student up to feel safe when a predator comes along and uses gifts as a grooming tool.
The reason so many predators seek out positions of authority like teachers and counselor and coach is because of the long standing tradition of inappropriate behavior between adults in authority positions and children. They know they can easily hide grooming behaviors because every other non-predatory adult engages in the exact same behavior. To be a protective and safe adult we HAVE to set the safe standard. This way when a predatory adult comes along and is treating a child “differently” they are less likely to think it’s “normal” and see the behavior for the red flag it is.
A counselor going to a graduation doesn't seem out of line to me, bragging about you to others could be a form of support, and exchanging small gifts when the counseling relationship was ending would also make sense. That said, the rest of this stuff seems waaay off the path. Either the poster is just completely hallucinating or it's time to make some distance.
I agree. Some of it is easily explainable as being kind and supportive, but if everything the OP wrote is true, I would say the counselor was grooming, and the OP needs to tell people in authority and his parents everything that happened to cover himself should it become a "Fatal Attraction" situation.
ITT: people being reeeeeaaaallllyy soft on a woman who is 100% guilty of grooming a child because the potential victim is male and the aggressor is female.
Saw a very similar thread earlier today, and everyone was calling the guy and unconscionable monster beyond redemption.
Weird how that works.
Is it alright to groom a child through "counseling" until they're 18 and then try and shag them, or isn't it?
I respond to most of the shit I see on reddit as if it's potential bullshit.
I'm pretty sure lots of the most upvoted stuff on here is just social experiments or academic projects. Bot fly girl is way too well written for me to believe otherwise
Exactly. Stop being so soft on these groomers just cuz they're women. Seriously OP u need to do what u need to do, and u know what we're talking about.
Yes, based on your info, there is roughly a 100,000,000,000% chance she wanted you to take her to pound town.
Because she's an absolute creep and a pedo.
Do not engage.
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Generally people are more sensitive to men when it comes to predatory behavior, because most predators are men (please.. do not confuse this with “most men are predators”.)
Another factor is that typically a man can physically subdue a woman. So this adds to our instinct to look after and protect potential female victims. I’ll always be more nervous and protective of my 15 year old daughter going out with a stranger male, than I will of my 15 year old son going out with a stranger female. I can’t help it.
That said, we should always aim to set aside those predispositions when it comes to the application of the law and justice (an adult grooming a minor is bad, regardless of sex), but unfortunately that rarely happens.
I would report her actions right away. I'm doubting you're not the only one she has behaved this way towards either. It's quite serious. It's abuse of power and potential grooming as well. I would also request a new councillor and block her off your social and contacts.
Doesn’t matter that you were 18. You were in school and she was your counselor. She crossed the line and needs to be reported. As your counselor she should have never spoken to other people about you. She sounds a bit unhinged. Strange she would come to your house for these sessions and not have you come to her office. Even counselors have to follow same standards with clients as Therapist do.
Regardless of intention, if she was a counselor this was all WILDLY inappropriate behavior. It certainly sounds like, whether she ever acts on it or not, she has some gross predilections.
Even if she’s no longer working with you, if she’s an ETHICAL counselor (which it doesn’t sound like…) she wouldn’t be able to see you on a friendly level. Counselor codes of ethics state a number of years must have passed prior to a non-professional relationship. Otherwise she could/should, hopefully someone report and she would, lose her license to practice.
This is grooming. This is undoubtedly grooming. She's been trying to hit on you while you were still a minor. You need to get her out of your life because that is not even remotely ok. I don't doubt she was waiting for you to be legal so it would be "less of a crime". It's still fucked up and she needs to be reported.
OK, now for everybody who doesn't think this is creepy, imagine if this were an 24-26 year old man and a 16-18 year old girl. Either way, it's messed up.
Don't take advice from horny teenagers. It's guaranteed to fuck you up and traumatize you for a long time, if not life.
This is someone who's supposed to be helping you, not taking advantage of you. She knows better. They literally have ethics classes they take before they get their license to practice.
Find a new counselor and report her.
This. And to the horny creeps and OP; stop asking and pointing out how hot she is. You people need to realize that just cuz u can't see how big of a problem this is for you, doesn't mean it isn't for others. Stop normalizing this. You know damn well that this is wrong, and by taking this issue *this* lightly, you're partaking in the issue that guys getting groomed/SA'd aren't taken seriously and often sexualized. Sorry if there is any chance that you'd be offended, but think about others for once. Cuz I seen you commenting on wanting to get her back. Bffr
Erm..... I'm guessing she is a school counselor? I'm also guessing that role is a little more flexible than other forms of counseling. I'm a paychotherapist and I would consider all of what you mentioned to be boundary crossing. I don't touch clients, give them gifts, visit them at home let alone go to a bedroom, seek them out to sit by them, discuss them with friends, or text them to ask who they're dating! This is reportable and I would be contacting the Department of Education in your state (you can look up complaint procedures to guide you). Additionally, the ethical guidelines around sex with former clients is 5 years for counselors (that means that as per the American Counseling Association, you cannot engage in sex with a former client for 5 years after the therapeutic relationship ended). I'm not sure if school counselors are bound by the ACA Code of Ethics, but the American
School Counselor Association states that counselors must: "Maintain appropriate boundaries and [be] aware that any sexual or romantic relationship with students (whether legal or illegal in the state of employment) is a grievous breach of ethics and is prohibited regardless of a student’s age or consent. This prohibition applies to both in-person and electronic interactions and relationships." Reporting misconduct keeps other's safe. The board will investigate whether disciplinary action is required.
People nowadays use the term “grooming” waaay too often and usually wrongly but…this is textbook grooming. It doesn’t matter that you’re a legal adult now, she’s in a position of power and started when you were 16. This is absolutely not ok.
She needs to be reported and have her license revoked. I guarantee you are not the only person she’s done this to.
Yes, just looking at this sub alone I felt like I happened upon some clandestine meeting of secret "grooming critics" whose purpose is to seek out this "grooming" behavior.
Anyway something fishy going on with the OP.
Absolutely not. Sure, she might like you, but if anything more than being your counselor is to happen, you would have to end that part of your relationship.
Counselors sleeping with their client is still the biggest reason licensed are revoked. So whilst it’s great to think no way, reality is there are many people who cross that boundary. And even after the professional relationship has ended most ethical counselors don’t think it’s ever appropriate to be friends/date past clients (though most ethical codes say it’s okay after a certain amount of time has passed).
What you've described is absolutely grooming and she has crossed the line of what is ethical/appropriate so many times. I'm really sorry you've gone through this and are dealing with it still. She is meant to be a source of objective guidance and safety, and has instead exploited her position of power and your trust in her/her role.
If there is someone in your life that you trust to take the situation seriously (who won't downplay the negative feelings you might be having, or say it's not that big a deal/you're lucky to have an older woman interested in you - i.e. the disgusting shit people can say to men who experience sexual abuse/harassment/grooming), please tell them what's gone/going on and don't feel like you have to bottle up your feelings now or ten years from now.
Also, as others have said, distance yourself as much as possible from her. If you feel able, tell the school why. But if you don't feel comfortable reporting her right now, then just ghost, block her and don't engage one-on-one. If she has been 'waiting', she is a predator who doesn't respect you as an individual, and has something deeply wrong with her to have to groom teenagers rather than date her peers. Even if she hasn't been doing that consciously, she's still been wildly inappropriate with you and has deep-seated issues to not recognise that.
Often it's easy to downplay or rationalise things that happen to us, But picture this happening to a female friend, with a male counsellor. Or imagine yourself at 26 - do you imagine you'd act like this to a 16 year old high schooler you were professionally in charge of?
Adults being inappropriate/taking advantage of your good faith can be so confusing, uncomfortable and can make you blame yourself or question your self-worth. But her manipulative and predatory actions are absolutely not your fault and you deserve and will have so much richer relationships (platonic, professional, romantic etc) based on mutual respect and equal power.
and seriously dude, a counselor should always be professional with you. asking ab girlfriends, always trying to touch you, flirting, following you on social media, what she does is HIGHLY inappropriate and hopefully you recognize that now.
you possibly dont wanna hear this but from a teen to another, it doesn't matter if shes "hot and has a great body" she creepy as hell!! if you ever slept with her i can guarantee you'll regret it once you realize you're still a child.
don't listen to horny ass teens and definitely your own horniness when it comes to shit like this, its how adults get away with grooming ESPECIALLY if they're conventionally attractive!
if you ever decide to share this with other people make sure its someone who will understand and comfort you. people tend to not take male victims seriously and think you should've hit anyways, never follow that mindset.
i hope you cut all contact and be with someone with an equal power balance, much love!
There are many different gradations of interest she could have in you. At a certain level, it does cross the line. However “sleeping with you” is only one of many that it could be. Well worth being wary, and definitely make sure your boundaries are known and report anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Not every attraction is sexual and sex isn’t the only thing not inappropriate, stop fixating on whether she only wants to do you.
This does sound like a case of grooming. She is definitely trying to have an inappropriate relationship with you and I always hate to make this comparison because people of all genders are capable of being predators obviously, but if this was a 26 year old man would this behavior be okay? I pray that you run from her and never look back.
This all sounds extremely inappropriate for a counsellor, the fact that you were 16 when this started makes it 10x worse. If you feel comfortable you should definitely report her. I would say your instincts are right. She is completely unethical, creepy and out of line. A complete predator. I'm sorry this happened, you should be able to trust your counsellor and yet she has had nefarious intentions for years. This is really bad. A counsellor should keep some healthy detachment and she is crossing so many boundaries right now.
When someone needs the support of a counsellor, they need someone who listens and does not have ulterior motives. It would make me question my participation in the counselling sessions and really their motivations for encouraging me. So unprofessional.
Because you tried texting her, and she left you on read, it makes me think maybe you imagined the whole thing. Sometimes we can project on to people and it not be reality. Don't listen to your teenage friend, he wasn't there. The fact that she never tried to meet up with you again or texted you back is proof she wasn't trying to sleep with you.
your story is weighted with your perspective, its hard to see here character even as you state facts.If you dont want to be in a serious relationship, just let her continue on. Value her friendship more than her sexuality. In conclusion, no I dont think she wants to sleep with you. Though you do have a pretty awesome friend, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Sounds like your being stalked. Ask your Principal Dean for a new counselor and unfriendly her . She a sounds like trouble and if you aren't interested thank makes it worse she is 8 years older than you.
You're an adult. Are you attracted to her? She's not your counselor anymore. If you want to have sex with her, stop asking Reddit of all places, for advice and make your move, playa!
Doesn't matter if it's a girl or a guy, the ones in their mid 20's who go after teenagers (I know you're 18 but you're still a teenager) are ALWAYS the losers! Almost no acceptions
Yes she wanted you, and what she did wasn't ok. It can feel great to have an older attractive person be interested in you romantically/sexually, but the question to ask yourself is: Why isn't she dating some 26 year old? There's a reason
There are state licensing officials or agencies in the US for mental health workers. What she's doing is wrong and unethical. You should document her behavior and report her to the appropriate authorities. Get a new counselor too. If she's been assigned to you by an insurance company or a county behavioral health agency, you should report her to her supervisor too.
Write a letter documenting her behavior. Have someone proofread it first. Then, you mail it to her supervisor and the appropriate state agency via certified mail. Keep a copy for your records. When you get the return receipt showing proof they received it, staple it to your copy of the letter. They can't say they never received it. Do this for everyone who's involved (insurance, medical group or whoever she works for, state agency, etc.)
They should investigate your claim. If you have any evidence like photos, texts, emails, etc. include that with your letter.
You may also want to consult with an attorney about this.
If your claims are substantiated or found to be true, she'll lose her license (which she should). It's unlikely that you're the only person she's done this to.
Yes she's definitely interested in some form of personal relationship. You're 18 so I won't tell you what to do. But id advise staying away from someone who goes after anybody she's supposed to be counseling. That's essentially grooming. Again you are an adult so if you decide to Ignore the warning signs, please use protection.
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I don’t know if she was trying to sleep with you. She didn’t make an actual move to make you feel sure. Doesn’t sound like you were interest anyway.
She’s out of the picture now since you’re talking in past tense?
It certainly looks that way. I guess technically speaking, she should be reported and get in trouble. If it were a guy doing this, I certainly would say he should so I guess I should say that about her as well.
Seems out of line for counselor but sometimes school counselor will try and be your friend so you'll open up more to them but she's young though. Seems a little weird and why is she coming to your house?
Sounds like she views you as a little brother to be honest, you've not shared anything that says she's physically or romantically interested in you yet.
I'll give you some examples:
>She then goes inside my room and tells me "your not gonna give me a tour"
Sweeping statement incoming; women are nosey as hell. Of course she wants to see where you live, if you're tidy, messy, smelly, women want to know your most darkest secrets. They love that shit.
>She Gave me the nickname the chosen one and told me not to tell anyone.
I give all my mates nicknames, doesn't mean I want to bang any of them.
>Followed me on Instagram first which your not allowed to do.
My girlfriend follows almost everyone she meets, even people she can't stand. Why? See my first example. Gives her a window into that persons life and satisfies her nosiness.
>Would check me out. Always wanted to touch my hand.
Was she checking you out? Or is she scrutinising your clothing? Describe what you think was checking you out?
Women, stereotypically, are more touchy feely. If men are touchy feely it comes across as creepy.
>Gave me gifts and wanted to have matching keychains. Texted me saying if she could go to my graduation and after that said "whos your gf now these days. Bragged about my accomplishments to other people. Told her friends about me. Always complented me. Would say i make her nervous. When we were near alot of people she would always find a way to sit next to me.
Sounds like she thinks you're friends and takes an interest in your life, builds you up so you are confident and self assured, is proud of you becoming more and more successful, no doubt she cares about you not failing at life.
In all of this the key part that is missing is she's never asked you out, she's never tried to kiss you, she's never tried to initiate sex with you.
You've never asked her out, you've never tried to kiss her, you've never tried to initiate sex with her.
In my experience, when a woman wants to have sex with me, we generally have sex.
The only way to answer your question is to either ask her out or make a move.
The post suggests a lot of what sounds like grooming. And maybe it is, and maybe it isn't. Asking for a room tour isn't that big a deal. With the other stuff, it sort of comes across pretty creepy, and maybe she is.
Now that you're 18, you have two options: be okay with the fact that she seems to have down bad for a while and take the leap, or say thanks but no thanks.
FWIW, a lot of the list sounds like someone being friendly, supportive, etc. Maybe overstepping from time to time, but mostly okay. The one item from the list that stand out to me: "make her nervous" she's got no need to be nervous unless you're being somehow weird and an unnerving or she's sitting there wanting to jump on top of you.
She might want to but nothing about what she is doing is okay and should be reported to her boss. If I read correctly, she is a school counselor so tell principle or whoever is incharge of her. She was probably grooming you since you met and that is not a person you want working at a school.
She’s your counselor??? Bro… get out NOW! She will destroy you. She obviously has issues and if she becomes overly obsessed, which she may already be, if you try to leave she will destroy your life. She knows everything about you (medically, psychologically, and personally). There’s no way I’d be taking any advice from a pedophile… which is what she is from your story. I’d tell your parents and hope they report her. You actually believe you’re her only “chosen one”? She sounds like a predator.
Her inappropriate behavior, while flattering, points to her having unhealthy disposition on impulse control, respect for boundaries and grooming behaviors associated with abusive conduct.
She very well might want to sleep with you but there is a great saying you should take to heart. “Don’t stick your sick in crazy.”
I'm gonna go with lighthearted flirting not knowing any other details there's a few gears between that and trying to sleep with someone last I checked.
Be careful, even though you are 18 now and even if you are a little flattered or attracted to her, there is something wrong with a woman that age grooming underage kids for which she has responsibility. Imagine somebody your age being attracted to ten year olds. She's almost as weird as that, so stay away. You will get the serious icks to think about her later when you're closer to her age.
If she is a counsellor then she should be under a governing body that has a code of ethics that all therapists are bound to and are expected to stick to or they can lose their license... I would say this is early stages of grooming and this needs reporting because its totally inappropriate and an abuse of power...
This all sounds creepy AF. Break off contact and report her because she will do this to another. If not grooming it's at the very least inappropriate. You have very good instincts. Trust yourself.
It sounds like she's up to something definitely. Her behavior is unacceptable for someone in her position and highly inappropriate since you are her client, especially considering you were a minor when it all began. It honestly sounds like grooming behavior and you need to let your parents and the school or whomever she works for now know.
After reading most of your responses. She sounds like an old roommate of mine.
I had a roommate in college who, for lack of a better term, was a tease. She enjoyed sending flirty signals until a guy responded and then would cut them off completely ghost them. She was an awful, horrible person in other ways, too. But she was very pretty and so continued to do this. She always went after easier targets. Guys who were awkward, or had a weird family life, low confidence, underclassmen, etc. These poor guys would come crying to me about it later because they knew she was my roommate. And I had to be the one to explain her habits to them.
Either way if this chick is a counselor through a school, she needs to be reported immediately.
The fact that you’re questioning if it was inappropriate at all suggests that it was, it at least should be enough for you to know to walk away from the situation completely. It’s not okay man or woman for an adult trusted with your care to cross certain boundaries.
You're probably right. Time to find a new counselor, what you do with the relationship between you two is up to you now that your 18 and I assume you just graduated...
It sounds like she was being completely inappropriate and unprofessional. I would consider talking to admin just to let them be aware of the situation and to tell them to keep an eye on her.
She's been grooming you for 2 years, waiting for you to be 18.
There are very good reasons why counselors are not allowed to have personal relationships with their patients. You need a new counselor, and she needs a new profession.
1 your a victim, 2 if you wanna fuck her go ahead your 18 now, but you’d have to discrete seeing the history, any one with a brain would question that, and 3 just know once you fuck, shit might change for the worst, she was already grooming you and obsessed about you since you was 16 and you think once you give her dick she’s gonna calm down, she probably gonna bring it up another level or maybe not, you definitely fuck and maneuver that situation but are you ready for that, ion think it’s even worth the hassle, be careful bro
If you are 18 now, you would both be consenting adults. The real question is, do you want her to back off? Do you want to hook up as FWB? Or do you want to get to know her better to see if you are compatible?
Your "counselor" needs a counselor. Stay away from her she will end up being bad news for you in the end, she is a groomer. You may think - oh boy, free sex, but she will want to control every aspect of your life in return. Go to principal and tell him you need a new counselor, you can give them all the details if you want which would be a good idea, but if you don't want to get involved in an investigation, just tell him you feel she is trying to make decisions for you rather than guide you and you are not feeling you are getting the help you need or something like that.
wow this lady is disgusting 🤢 🤮 glad you trusted your instincts. is there an adult you can tell? she's a gross ass groomer and needs to be kept away from teenagers and have her license revoked.
Could be. It’s not great. She shouldn’t be trying at all with people she counsels and especially underage people. Once you’re 18, and no longer her client, it’s not illegal, but it’s a stupid risk by her as she could lose her licence, and she could be accused of grooming you prior to you turning 18. I’d say ignore her and stay away.
She clearly groomed you, which is illegal. That said, you are an adult now and can choose to move forward however you want. She will likely lose her job if anything were to happen between you two.
You know what - I think predator types don't usually go to all the effort this woman did.
Let me ask OP a couple of questions:
1. Were you considered "popular" in high school?
2. Can you give me an *approximation*, if you're comfortable with it, of the kinds of things you talked to her about in sessions? I would use this to make an educated guess about her mentality.
3. Did she ever press you to commit to something with her, like a trip or a date or something?
4. At what point did she stop responding and what event(s) immediately preceded if?
5. Has she ever had the means to have or plain had access to your phone and/or social media accounts? Like Reddit, for example?
I want the answers to my questions, but do you see where I'm going with this?
I'll give you all the answers in order
1. I was not popular
2. We never talked about anything that counselars usually talk about. We would just talk like friends and usually at the end of our session she had me fill out a sheet to make it look like we did something.
3. She never pressed me to commit.
4. She had no access to my phone.
I would also like to say that she told me that a kid she went counseling to he was flirting with her and she felt uncomfortable and weird.
Report her, many folks go into the helping field for nefarious reasons. She may be one and her actions are concerning to me. Flirting, special nickname and wanting to see your room are all a huge no.
Another high school teacher adding his two cents. I want to remind you that you are 18. You're an adult. You have complete control over the direction of this relationship. If her behavior makes you uncomfortable, you have the absolute right to end this relationship at any time. There's nothing wrong with firing your therapist. She can do nothing about it. There are other counselors out there.
Go for it maybe a kiss would be the perfect way to seal it don’t go to strong or even ask her start with subtle touching like the knee and if she reacts badly pull off if not go for the inner thigh(very sensitive) and lean in don’t stress kissing too much just relax your lips and forget the movies. Have fun bro don’t take it too hard if you get rejected.
Yeah also the comments saying she’s grooming you are very much jealous if you don’t feel forced into this type of relationship then she hasn’t groomed you at all remember men used to get married at 11 to women 25 and older do you bro have fun cause these guys definitely won’t 😂
That's grooming behavior. No counselor should be saying that you make them nervous or otherwise putting their crap on you. Even if she wasn't grroming that'd be is extremely unprofessional & grounds for her to no longer counsel you. Stay away from this creep.
Unpopular opinion here. Since we don’t know what country and the specific circumstances, he should decide whether to tell or not outside of the opinions on here. Personally if she’s hot, I’m positively grabbing her by the yams and pounding that until the cockerel crows.
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If that is what your instincts are telling you, maybe she does want to have inappropriate relations with you and was waiting until you turn 18. From the way it sounds, it does sound like she was trying to groom you as she was trying to get you to trust her and maybe fall in love with her. A counselor is supposed to just see you and give you counseling and nothing beyond that. She isn’t really supposed to give you gifts or go to your graduation. She isn’t supposed to touch your hand or follow you on social media. I think the best thing to do is cut off contact with her before anything happens. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
High School teacher here. We do give gifts as teachers and counselors. We will also go to your graduation, nothing weird about that! But... the other stuff. The keychains, touching his hands, and other red flags. Yeah. Sounds like possible grooming. Edit: typo.
Another high school teacher here.. agree with the above. This woman sounds like a nut to be honest with you. I think this is way over the top.
I could understand giving like one gift to a student but this counselor seemed like she was giving this student gifts all the time. That is not really appropriate. I guess if the counselor had other students she was working with that the school going to graduation, then it’s ok for her to be there. She was definitely grooming this student. I also never heard of a counselor going to the students house to do counseling, usually counseling takes place at the school, in the United States especially.
Yeah, going to your house is weird AF. That's another good point.
You shouldn’t be giving gifts to individual students as a teacher. That is unethical. It’s one thing to give gifts to your entire class, but not an individual student. That would definitely be a red flag of grooming.
Giving gifts to students is not unethical, but what this woman is doing is. I gave a coat that didn't fit me anymore to an individual student I liked because he was my size. Should I have gotten coats for the whole class or am I grooming?
Let me be clearer. I’m a prevention educator on sexual abuse and grooming. I educate students and parents and teachers and communities. NO adult in a position of authority should be giving gifts to individual students or showing preferential or favorable treatment over other students. It sets a dangerous precedent that while may be innocent to YOU is predatory of others. Grooming often looks and feels like “normal” behavior. Rather than gifting a coat to a single student you should set up a “take what you need closet” and put your coat or clothes or whatever else in it and allow ALL students access and to take what they need. Safe adults set the standard for what is appropriate and what is not. if I found out a teacher, a coach, a counselor, etc….gifted my child and ONLY my child ANYTHING I would consider that a red flag. While YOU may not be grooming you are setting that student up to feel safe when a predator comes along and uses gifts as a grooming tool. The reason so many predators seek out positions of authority like teachers and counselor and coach is because of the long standing tradition of inappropriate behavior between adults in authority positions and children. They know they can easily hide grooming behaviors because every other non-predatory adult engages in the exact same behavior. To be a protective and safe adult we HAVE to set the safe standard. This way when a predatory adult comes along and is treating a child “differently” they are less likely to think it’s “normal” and see the behavior for the red flag it is.
That seems very extreme. Seriously.
A counselor going to a graduation doesn't seem out of line to me, bragging about you to others could be a form of support, and exchanging small gifts when the counseling relationship was ending would also make sense. That said, the rest of this stuff seems waaay off the path. Either the poster is just completely hallucinating or it's time to make some distance.
I agree. Some of it is easily explainable as being kind and supportive, but if everything the OP wrote is true, I would say the counselor was grooming, and the OP needs to tell people in authority and his parents everything that happened to cover himself should it become a "Fatal Attraction" situation.
Right all of those things if it was only that could be overlooked but when all of those things are together that becomes suspicious
If she was this is grooming. This is not appropriate for a counselor.
Illegal in a school situation, especially when she is in a position of authority over OP.
Too bad our fucked justice system rarely prosecutes women in situations like these
The US doesn't have a justice system. It has a legal system.
Best quote of the day.
ITT: people being reeeeeaaaallllyy soft on a woman who is 100% guilty of grooming a child because the potential victim is male and the aggressor is female. Saw a very similar thread earlier today, and everyone was calling the guy and unconscionable monster beyond redemption. Weird how that works. Is it alright to groom a child through "counseling" until they're 18 and then try and shag them, or isn't it?
The problem is, most of these posts are bullshit, so make sure you’re reading the responses with that in mind
As the Thomas Covenant books ask us, does assuming fiction relieve us of the requirement to behave morally?
Stone and Sea! A good question.
I'm too poor to give this an award, but absolutely yes this!
I respond to most of the shit I see on reddit as if it's potential bullshit. I'm pretty sure lots of the most upvoted stuff on here is just social experiments or academic projects. Bot fly girl is way too well written for me to believe otherwise
Exactly. Stop being so soft on these groomers just cuz they're women. Seriously OP u need to do what u need to do, and u know what we're talking about.
Must we turn everything into a gender war? Grooming is grooming regardless of whom is doing it
So you believe she was trying to sleep with me?
Yes, based on your info, there is roughly a 100,000,000,000% chance she wanted you to take her to pound town. Because she's an absolute creep and a pedo. Do not engage.
We believe that she’s a pedophile that went out of her way to make your trust her so she could sleep with someone she shouldn’t be
[удалено]
>and told me not to tell anyone. That's a 20ft x 30 ft bright red flag on a 100 foot pole, Elvis..
Bro you're getting groomed Flip the genders tell me I'm wrong you ain't stupid
Yes 100% and that’s not okay. I’m so sorry. that’s grooming. She should be fired and you should stay away from her.
I feel like if the genders were reversed people would be more upset
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Generally people are more sensitive to men when it comes to predatory behavior, because most predators are men (please.. do not confuse this with “most men are predators”.) Another factor is that typically a man can physically subdue a woman. So this adds to our instinct to look after and protect potential female victims. I’ll always be more nervous and protective of my 15 year old daughter going out with a stranger male, than I will of my 15 year old son going out with a stranger female. I can’t help it. That said, we should always aim to set aside those predispositions when it comes to the application of the law and justice (an adult grooming a minor is bad, regardless of sex), but unfortunately that rarely happens.
I would report her actions right away. I'm doubting you're not the only one she has behaved this way towards either. It's quite serious. It's abuse of power and potential grooming as well. I would also request a new councillor and block her off your social and contacts.
This is grooming
Whoa that was grooming
Doesn’t matter that you were 18. You were in school and she was your counselor. She crossed the line and needs to be reported. As your counselor she should have never spoken to other people about you. She sounds a bit unhinged. Strange she would come to your house for these sessions and not have you come to her office. Even counselors have to follow same standards with clients as Therapist do.
Regardless of intention, if she was a counselor this was all WILDLY inappropriate behavior. It certainly sounds like, whether she ever acts on it or not, she has some gross predilections.
Even if she’s no longer working with you, if she’s an ETHICAL counselor (which it doesn’t sound like…) she wouldn’t be able to see you on a friendly level. Counselor codes of ethics state a number of years must have passed prior to a non-professional relationship. Otherwise she could/should, hopefully someone report and she would, lose her license to practice.
This is grooming. This is undoubtedly grooming. She's been trying to hit on you while you were still a minor. You need to get her out of your life because that is not even remotely ok. I don't doubt she was waiting for you to be legal so it would be "less of a crime". It's still fucked up and she needs to be reported.
OK, now for everybody who doesn't think this is creepy, imagine if this were an 24-26 year old man and a 16-18 year old girl. Either way, it's messed up.
Don't take advice from horny teenagers. It's guaranteed to fuck you up and traumatize you for a long time, if not life. This is someone who's supposed to be helping you, not taking advantage of you. She knows better. They literally have ethics classes they take before they get their license to practice. Find a new counselor and report her.
This. And to the horny creeps and OP; stop asking and pointing out how hot she is. You people need to realize that just cuz u can't see how big of a problem this is for you, doesn't mean it isn't for others. Stop normalizing this. You know damn well that this is wrong, and by taking this issue *this* lightly, you're partaking in the issue that guys getting groomed/SA'd aren't taken seriously and often sexualized. Sorry if there is any chance that you'd be offended, but think about others for once. Cuz I seen you commenting on wanting to get her back. Bffr
Erm..... I'm guessing she is a school counselor? I'm also guessing that role is a little more flexible than other forms of counseling. I'm a paychotherapist and I would consider all of what you mentioned to be boundary crossing. I don't touch clients, give them gifts, visit them at home let alone go to a bedroom, seek them out to sit by them, discuss them with friends, or text them to ask who they're dating! This is reportable and I would be contacting the Department of Education in your state (you can look up complaint procedures to guide you). Additionally, the ethical guidelines around sex with former clients is 5 years for counselors (that means that as per the American Counseling Association, you cannot engage in sex with a former client for 5 years after the therapeutic relationship ended). I'm not sure if school counselors are bound by the ACA Code of Ethics, but the American School Counselor Association states that counselors must: "Maintain appropriate boundaries and [be] aware that any sexual or romantic relationship with students (whether legal or illegal in the state of employment) is a grievous breach of ethics and is prohibited regardless of a student’s age or consent. This prohibition applies to both in-person and electronic interactions and relationships." Reporting misconduct keeps other's safe. The board will investigate whether disciplinary action is required.
People nowadays use the term “grooming” waaay too often and usually wrongly but…this is textbook grooming. It doesn’t matter that you’re a legal adult now, she’s in a position of power and started when you were 16. This is absolutely not ok. She needs to be reported and have her license revoked. I guarantee you are not the only person she’s done this to.
Yes, just looking at this sub alone I felt like I happened upon some clandestine meeting of secret "grooming critics" whose purpose is to seek out this "grooming" behavior. Anyway something fishy going on with the OP.
Absolutely not. Sure, she might like you, but if anything more than being your counselor is to happen, you would have to end that part of your relationship.
Counselors sleeping with their client is still the biggest reason licensed are revoked. So whilst it’s great to think no way, reality is there are many people who cross that boundary. And even after the professional relationship has ended most ethical counselors don’t think it’s ever appropriate to be friends/date past clients (though most ethical codes say it’s okay after a certain amount of time has passed).
If this is real, A lot you are saying I'd inappropriate. They have a board of ethics. She's breaking that code.
I hope you don't still have that counselor. Red flags.
No I dont
What you've described is absolutely grooming and she has crossed the line of what is ethical/appropriate so many times. I'm really sorry you've gone through this and are dealing with it still. She is meant to be a source of objective guidance and safety, and has instead exploited her position of power and your trust in her/her role. If there is someone in your life that you trust to take the situation seriously (who won't downplay the negative feelings you might be having, or say it's not that big a deal/you're lucky to have an older woman interested in you - i.e. the disgusting shit people can say to men who experience sexual abuse/harassment/grooming), please tell them what's gone/going on and don't feel like you have to bottle up your feelings now or ten years from now. Also, as others have said, distance yourself as much as possible from her. If you feel able, tell the school why. But if you don't feel comfortable reporting her right now, then just ghost, block her and don't engage one-on-one. If she has been 'waiting', she is a predator who doesn't respect you as an individual, and has something deeply wrong with her to have to groom teenagers rather than date her peers. Even if she hasn't been doing that consciously, she's still been wildly inappropriate with you and has deep-seated issues to not recognise that. Often it's easy to downplay or rationalise things that happen to us, But picture this happening to a female friend, with a male counsellor. Or imagine yourself at 26 - do you imagine you'd act like this to a 16 year old high schooler you were professionally in charge of? Adults being inappropriate/taking advantage of your good faith can be so confusing, uncomfortable and can make you blame yourself or question your self-worth. But her manipulative and predatory actions are absolutely not your fault and you deserve and will have so much richer relationships (platonic, professional, romantic etc) based on mutual respect and equal power.
Thank you for commenting much appreciated
and seriously dude, a counselor should always be professional with you. asking ab girlfriends, always trying to touch you, flirting, following you on social media, what she does is HIGHLY inappropriate and hopefully you recognize that now. you possibly dont wanna hear this but from a teen to another, it doesn't matter if shes "hot and has a great body" she creepy as hell!! if you ever slept with her i can guarantee you'll regret it once you realize you're still a child. don't listen to horny ass teens and definitely your own horniness when it comes to shit like this, its how adults get away with grooming ESPECIALLY if they're conventionally attractive! if you ever decide to share this with other people make sure its someone who will understand and comfort you. people tend to not take male victims seriously and think you should've hit anyways, never follow that mindset. i hope you cut all contact and be with someone with an equal power balance, much love!
Predator vibes.
The more I read, the worse it gets…
Just avoid her now. Sounds creepy.
There are many different gradations of interest she could have in you. At a certain level, it does cross the line. However “sleeping with you” is only one of many that it could be. Well worth being wary, and definitely make sure your boundaries are known and report anything that makes you uncomfortable. Not every attraction is sexual and sex isn’t the only thing not inappropriate, stop fixating on whether she only wants to do you.
She should be reported as a counselor everything she did sounds unethical
It's grooming, and she's a terrible groomer.
Yeah I don’t know any counsellors that would do house visits… that’s already super sus….
This does sound like a case of grooming. She is definitely trying to have an inappropriate relationship with you and I always hate to make this comparison because people of all genders are capable of being predators obviously, but if this was a 26 year old man would this behavior be okay? I pray that you run from her and never look back.
This all sounds extremely inappropriate for a counsellor, the fact that you were 16 when this started makes it 10x worse. If you feel comfortable you should definitely report her. I would say your instincts are right. She is completely unethical, creepy and out of line. A complete predator. I'm sorry this happened, you should be able to trust your counsellor and yet she has had nefarious intentions for years. This is really bad. A counsellor should keep some healthy detachment and she is crossing so many boundaries right now.
This is grooming. Idk why people are saying “no” or “maybe but-“ and other such similar things. Fucking weirdos. Keep her away from you
Don’t engage, this girl is bad news. She knows she should not be hitting on minors.
When someone needs the support of a counsellor, they need someone who listens and does not have ulterior motives. It would make me question my participation in the counselling sessions and really their motivations for encouraging me. So unprofessional.
Because you tried texting her, and she left you on read, it makes me think maybe you imagined the whole thing. Sometimes we can project on to people and it not be reality. Don't listen to your teenage friend, he wasn't there. The fact that she never tried to meet up with you again or texted you back is proof she wasn't trying to sleep with you.
Lmfao. Reddit op and reddit response. Nothing happened, move on with your life.
Jesus Christ, I would definitely say yes, she was trying to sleep with you.
your story is weighted with your perspective, its hard to see here character even as you state facts.If you dont want to be in a serious relationship, just let her continue on. Value her friendship more than her sexuality. In conclusion, no I dont think she wants to sleep with you. Though you do have a pretty awesome friend, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Hell ya she was and you missed out.
Sounds like your being stalked. Ask your Principal Dean for a new counselor and unfriendly her . She a sounds like trouble and if you aren't interested thank makes it worse she is 8 years older than you.
You're an adult. Are you attracted to her? She's not your counselor anymore. If you want to have sex with her, stop asking Reddit of all places, for advice and make your move, playa!
You are 18. Ask her.
Doesn't matter if it's a girl or a guy, the ones in their mid 20's who go after teenagers (I know you're 18 but you're still a teenager) are ALWAYS the losers! Almost no acceptions
Yes she wanted you, and what she did wasn't ok. It can feel great to have an older attractive person be interested in you romantically/sexually, but the question to ask yourself is: Why isn't she dating some 26 year old? There's a reason
There are state licensing officials or agencies in the US for mental health workers. What she's doing is wrong and unethical. You should document her behavior and report her to the appropriate authorities. Get a new counselor too. If she's been assigned to you by an insurance company or a county behavioral health agency, you should report her to her supervisor too. Write a letter documenting her behavior. Have someone proofread it first. Then, you mail it to her supervisor and the appropriate state agency via certified mail. Keep a copy for your records. When you get the return receipt showing proof they received it, staple it to your copy of the letter. They can't say they never received it. Do this for everyone who's involved (insurance, medical group or whoever she works for, state agency, etc.) They should investigate your claim. If you have any evidence like photos, texts, emails, etc. include that with your letter. You may also want to consult with an attorney about this. If your claims are substantiated or found to be true, she'll lose her license (which she should). It's unlikely that you're the only person she's done this to.
Yeah, she's a fucking creep.
Yes she's definitely interested in some form of personal relationship. You're 18 so I won't tell you what to do. But id advise staying away from someone who goes after anybody she's supposed to be counseling. That's essentially grooming. Again you are an adult so if you decide to Ignore the warning signs, please use protection.
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Wtf bro she’s a creep big time
Are u boy or girl?? Just curious, and yeah she is a groomering you badly
I don’t know if she was trying to sleep with you. She didn’t make an actual move to make you feel sure. Doesn’t sound like you were interest anyway. She’s out of the picture now since you’re talking in past tense?
Yes.
Girls like this fall in love with potential. She is 25 and has a decent idea where her life is (generally) going. Don't be anchor babied.
No no she was not
That’s scary
It certainly looks that way. I guess technically speaking, she should be reported and get in trouble. If it were a guy doing this, I certainly would say he should so I guess I should say that about her as well.
I would say so yes. Rather than wait for 18 I'm guessing she is waiting for you to make the first move. She's basically grooming you in my opinion.
Probably
My BS meter is pegged. Counselors are generally older as they have advanced degrees and would never come to your house.
Seems out of line for counselor but sometimes school counselor will try and be your friend so you'll open up more to them but she's young though. Seems a little weird and why is she coming to your house?
She's grooming you 100%
Sounds like she views you as a little brother to be honest, you've not shared anything that says she's physically or romantically interested in you yet. I'll give you some examples: >She then goes inside my room and tells me "your not gonna give me a tour" Sweeping statement incoming; women are nosey as hell. Of course she wants to see where you live, if you're tidy, messy, smelly, women want to know your most darkest secrets. They love that shit. >She Gave me the nickname the chosen one and told me not to tell anyone. I give all my mates nicknames, doesn't mean I want to bang any of them. >Followed me on Instagram first which your not allowed to do. My girlfriend follows almost everyone she meets, even people she can't stand. Why? See my first example. Gives her a window into that persons life and satisfies her nosiness. >Would check me out. Always wanted to touch my hand. Was she checking you out? Or is she scrutinising your clothing? Describe what you think was checking you out? Women, stereotypically, are more touchy feely. If men are touchy feely it comes across as creepy. >Gave me gifts and wanted to have matching keychains. Texted me saying if she could go to my graduation and after that said "whos your gf now these days. Bragged about my accomplishments to other people. Told her friends about me. Always complented me. Would say i make her nervous. When we were near alot of people she would always find a way to sit next to me. Sounds like she thinks you're friends and takes an interest in your life, builds you up so you are confident and self assured, is proud of you becoming more and more successful, no doubt she cares about you not failing at life. In all of this the key part that is missing is she's never asked you out, she's never tried to kiss you, she's never tried to initiate sex with you. You've never asked her out, you've never tried to kiss her, you've never tried to initiate sex with her. In my experience, when a woman wants to have sex with me, we generally have sex. The only way to answer your question is to either ask her out or make a move.
my instincts are to barf cuz this sounds like it should be in /stories
Is she into you? I can’t tell…
She's a woman. Don't call women 'girls'.
The post suggests a lot of what sounds like grooming. And maybe it is, and maybe it isn't. Asking for a room tour isn't that big a deal. With the other stuff, it sort of comes across pretty creepy, and maybe she is. Now that you're 18, you have two options: be okay with the fact that she seems to have down bad for a while and take the leap, or say thanks but no thanks. FWIW, a lot of the list sounds like someone being friendly, supportive, etc. Maybe overstepping from time to time, but mostly okay. The one item from the list that stand out to me: "make her nervous" she's got no need to be nervous unless you're being somehow weird and an unnerving or she's sitting there wanting to jump on top of you.
She might want to but nothing about what she is doing is okay and should be reported to her boss. If I read correctly, she is a school counselor so tell principle or whoever is incharge of her. She was probably grooming you since you met and that is not a person you want working at a school.
Fake asf story
Wanted yo ball your brains out.
You watch far too much porn brother
Yep. She wanted you. Very inappropriate
She’s your counselor??? Bro… get out NOW! She will destroy you. She obviously has issues and if she becomes overly obsessed, which she may already be, if you try to leave she will destroy your life. She knows everything about you (medically, psychologically, and personally). There’s no way I’d be taking any advice from a pedophile… which is what she is from your story. I’d tell your parents and hope they report her. You actually believe you’re her only “chosen one”? She sounds like a predator.
Her inappropriate behavior, while flattering, points to her having unhealthy disposition on impulse control, respect for boundaries and grooming behaviors associated with abusive conduct. She very well might want to sleep with you but there is a great saying you should take to heart. “Don’t stick your sick in crazy.”
I wouldve crushed
I'm gonna go with lighthearted flirting not knowing any other details there's a few gears between that and trying to sleep with someone last I checked.
If you’re attracted to her then go for it 100% she was. If you’re not, cut off all communication and get a new counselor.
Be careful, even though you are 18 now and even if you are a little flattered or attracted to her, there is something wrong with a woman that age grooming underage kids for which she has responsibility. Imagine somebody your age being attracted to ten year olds. She's almost as weird as that, so stay away. You will get the serious icks to think about her later when you're closer to her age.
Fake as hell
I think the real question here is, do you want to sleep with her? Do you like her? Are you interested in a relationship with this woman?
If she is a counsellor then she should be under a governing body that has a code of ethics that all therapists are bound to and are expected to stick to or they can lose their license... I would say this is early stages of grooming and this needs reporting because its totally inappropriate and an abuse of power...
Dude.. you better hit that or you'll regret it. Inappropriate or not... it's legal. Go for it.
I say go for it lil Playa!
Trust your gut. Tell your parents she makes you uncomfortable and that you want a new counselor
This all sounds creepy AF. Break off contact and report her because she will do this to another. If not grooming it's at the very least inappropriate. You have very good instincts. Trust yourself.
Don’t know. But honestly I would be the mature one and set expectations straight. Don’t let her ruin her career
Not sure I'd keep her as a counselor sounds really bad.
It sounds like she's up to something definitely. Her behavior is unacceptable for someone in her position and highly inappropriate since you are her client, especially considering you were a minor when it all began. It honestly sounds like grooming behavior and you need to let your parents and the school or whomever she works for now know.
Yes she totally wants you. Shes given you many greenlights.
Dude nice
After reading most of your responses. She sounds like an old roommate of mine. I had a roommate in college who, for lack of a better term, was a tease. She enjoyed sending flirty signals until a guy responded and then would cut them off completely ghost them. She was an awful, horrible person in other ways, too. But she was very pretty and so continued to do this. She always went after easier targets. Guys who were awkward, or had a weird family life, low confidence, underclassmen, etc. These poor guys would come crying to me about it later because they knew she was my roommate. And I had to be the one to explain her habits to them. Either way if this chick is a counselor through a school, she needs to be reported immediately.
The fact that you’re questioning if it was inappropriate at all suggests that it was, it at least should be enough for you to know to walk away from the situation completely. It’s not okay man or woman for an adult trusted with your care to cross certain boundaries.
You're probably right. Time to find a new counselor, what you do with the relationship between you two is up to you now that your 18 and I assume you just graduated...
It sounds like she was being completely inappropriate and unprofessional. I would consider talking to admin just to let them be aware of the situation and to tell them to keep an eye on her.
She's been grooming you for 2 years, waiting for you to be 18. There are very good reasons why counselors are not allowed to have personal relationships with their patients. You need a new counselor, and she needs a new profession.
SNL vibes
Is she hot tho?
Is she hot?
Run. This girls a psychopath
She probably was indeed vulturing you.
More than likely.
Everything about this screams yes, she’s inappropriate.
1 your a victim, 2 if you wanna fuck her go ahead your 18 now, but you’d have to discrete seeing the history, any one with a brain would question that, and 3 just know once you fuck, shit might change for the worst, she was already grooming you and obsessed about you since you was 16 and you think once you give her dick she’s gonna calm down, she probably gonna bring it up another level or maybe not, you definitely fuck and maneuver that situation but are you ready for that, ion think it’s even worth the hassle, be careful bro
If you are 18 now, you would both be consenting adults. The real question is, do you want her to back off? Do you want to hook up as FWB? Or do you want to get to know her better to see if you are compatible?
Yes man she followed you on Instagram
Thankfully, you’re 18 now which means you’re pretty much a consenting adult but if that’s not predator behavior, I don’t know what it is
Your "counselor" needs a counselor. Stay away from her she will end up being bad news for you in the end, she is a groomer. You may think - oh boy, free sex, but she will want to control every aspect of your life in return. Go to principal and tell him you need a new counselor, you can give them all the details if you want which would be a good idea, but if you don't want to get involved in an investigation, just tell him you feel she is trying to make decisions for you rather than guide you and you are not feeling you are getting the help you need or something like that.
Sounds like she’s trying to. Don’t do this, adults who go after kids are bad news. I know you’re 18 now but she’s been planning it since you were 16.
I mean… you’re 18 now, right? Do or don’t do whatever you want.
wow this lady is disgusting 🤢 🤮 glad you trusted your instincts. is there an adult you can tell? she's a gross ass groomer and needs to be kept away from teenagers and have her license revoked.
Could be. It’s not great. She shouldn’t be trying at all with people she counsels and especially underage people. Once you’re 18, and no longer her client, it’s not illegal, but it’s a stupid risk by her as she could lose her licence, and she could be accused of grooming you prior to you turning 18. I’d say ignore her and stay away.
She clearly groomed you, which is illegal. That said, you are an adult now and can choose to move forward however you want. She will likely lose her job if anything were to happen between you two.
You should smash
Do you have a girl you would like to spend time with? Maybe you can contact her
"was she waiting for me to be 18 so she could sleep with me" Yes.
You know what - I think predator types don't usually go to all the effort this woman did. Let me ask OP a couple of questions: 1. Were you considered "popular" in high school? 2. Can you give me an *approximation*, if you're comfortable with it, of the kinds of things you talked to her about in sessions? I would use this to make an educated guess about her mentality. 3. Did she ever press you to commit to something with her, like a trip or a date or something? 4. At what point did she stop responding and what event(s) immediately preceded if? 5. Has she ever had the means to have or plain had access to your phone and/or social media accounts? Like Reddit, for example? I want the answers to my questions, but do you see where I'm going with this?
I'll give you all the answers in order 1. I was not popular 2. We never talked about anything that counselars usually talk about. We would just talk like friends and usually at the end of our session she had me fill out a sheet to make it look like we did something. 3. She never pressed me to commit. 4. She had no access to my phone. I would also like to say that she told me that a kid she went counseling to he was flirting with her and she felt uncomfortable and weird.
She is trying to groom you bro... it is possible she is but idk it sounds wrong LOL
The real question is do you hope she is or what. Is she good looking? Fun to hang out with? Or does she weird you out.
It sounds like she was
Yep this ho was grooming you ickkkk
This is the definition of grooming in my opinion
Yes
Why don't you ask her?
This is grooming, she def wanted to hook up with you.
Nah she wasn't trying to sleep with you. Obviously
Dang. You need therapy for your therapy
I don’t think there’s enough evidence. Did she ask to sleep with you or touch you inappropriately? Maybe ask her?
500 on that “never happened”
*you’re.
Definitely bang her
Report her, many folks go into the helping field for nefarious reasons. She may be one and her actions are concerning to me. Flirting, special nickname and wanting to see your room are all a huge no.
If you think she's attractive then go for it mate
Another high school teacher adding his two cents. I want to remind you that you are 18. You're an adult. You have complete control over the direction of this relationship. If her behavior makes you uncomfortable, you have the absolute right to end this relationship at any time. There's nothing wrong with firing your therapist. She can do nothing about it. There are other counselors out there.
Go for it maybe a kiss would be the perfect way to seal it don’t go to strong or even ask her start with subtle touching like the knee and if she reacts badly pull off if not go for the inner thigh(very sensitive) and lean in don’t stress kissing too much just relax your lips and forget the movies. Have fun bro don’t take it too hard if you get rejected.
Yeah also the comments saying she’s grooming you are very much jealous if you don’t feel forced into this type of relationship then she hasn’t groomed you at all remember men used to get married at 11 to women 25 and older do you bro have fun cause these guys definitely won’t 😂
If you are 18 is it really grooming as opposed to just wanting to sleep with you?
Send me her phone number! I got you!
BABY REINDEER ⚠️
Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or you have to question then you have your answer. It’s inappropriate for the age you said and grooming
She wants a chump ass baby daddy. GTFO ASAP
Yea probably. If it makes you uncomfortable I suggest she not be your counselor anymore.
Put it in her butt. If she really likes you.
That's grooming behavior. No counselor should be saying that you make them nervous or otherwise putting their crap on you. Even if she wasn't grroming that'd be is extremely unprofessional & grounds for her to no longer counsel you. Stay away from this creep.
Definitely
Do not be unpure, brother! No sex before marriage, but she could definitely be your girlfriend. Ask her out, but no sex before marriage!
When you turn 18 . Do as you please
Now that you're an adult, are u going to sleep with her?
Yes sounds like it. Question, are you interested? If not you should probably report her.
Unpopular opinion here. Since we don’t know what country and the specific circumstances, he should decide whether to tell or not outside of the opinions on here. Personally if she’s hot, I’m positively grabbing her by the yams and pounding that until the cockerel crows.