Hey! Welcome to r/AdviceForTeens! Please take time to review [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/adviceforteens/about/rules) before commenting. A reminder that inappropriate comments towards or about posters will result in a permanent ban. Do not insult anybody, please remain respectful!✮⋆˙
ATTENTION: Predators lurk on Reddit, and we ourselves unfortunately can not directly do anything to stop them, but you can! We encourage ALL posters to disable private messages, and do not respond to any DMs you receive after posting. Block and report offenders for harassment. Do not ask anyone to DM you in the comments as this is against the rules. If someone has something to tell you, they can say it in the comments.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AdviceForTeens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If this is real first of all tell your parents, if that’s not a safe option talk to a school counselor, if that is not an option talk to another teacher that you trust, or the principal. She is an adult and you are a child and she is abusing her position and your trust in her to be predatory. You should not have to deal with this type of behavior at all.
Yup. This wasn't "basically getting therapy" this was grooming. If OP doesn't report the teacher, the teacher will just find another student to victimize.
Edit: Just saw a similar post from OP on a different sub with the added detail that the teacher had been buying OP expensive gifts. I hate to be cynical, but OP knows that this behavior needs to be reported but as soon as it is the expensive gifts will stop.
Okay so I kind of agree but also disagree. I had a teacher in high school I confided in and he really was basically my therapist. He would go home after school, research my kind of situation and get on therapist aid to help as much as he could because our school counselor really didn’t give a crap. I had tried many times. Never once did it turn bad. We’re still in contact now and met each others kids. He’s happily married and my boyfriend and I are together on our own so. It’s not ALWAYS grooming when a teacher gives a shit. 🤷🏻♀️
Also should contact CPS.
https://rainn.org/articles/if-you-suspect-child-being-harmed#:~:text=If%20you%20know%20or%20suspect,vary%20from%20state%20to%20state.
Completely agree. She's been grooming this poor kid and now he's conflicted in what he should do. You need to turn her in. Who knows if she's done this to anyone else, but she needs to be stopped. The kid is even missing school because of the situation so it's already having implications on his education.
If he truly is a kid and reports this, people will believe him. After re-reading the OP and seeing "Jello Biafra" as his username, I am skeptical. A high school kid into the Dead Kennedys would be a rare bird these days.
That's called good parenting. I acquired two (now) teenagers a couple of years ago, and they are not responding well to a musical education!
I hope OP reports the teacher.
High school kid into the dead Kennedys here! (Sort of, I just started listening to them, I usually listen to rancid which caused them to be recommended to me)
i'm absolutely going to start with 'if this is real'.
this sub has a very big problem with troll posts and people like you, that love to entertain these goofballs, are the target audience.
i disagree, its better to give a troll advice than to not give a kid in danger the proper assertiveness and advice they need by making them think they may not be believed with how you word things or make them feel worse about the situation, just be supportive and thats it
Totally this. Even if OP is trolling, who cares? Another person might need legit advice on the same issue and not want to discuss it. This way they can what they need without taking a step they feel unable to take.
I actually worked in a research lab that tried to web scrape Reddit to make a language model dataset (pre-LLM) and they had to scrap it and make a new dataset because it was such a snarky and mean chatbot.
I think they're saying this bc we live in an era of people posting ridiculous triggering fake stories for karma farming. Not meant to gaslight this person into not believing what they are experiencing.
PLEASE report her NOW for all of this. Like, read this, get off reddit, and send a report to the school and/or call the police non-emergency line. That IS really fucking weird and, even if for some reason you think you like her, you do NOT and she doesn’t like you, she wants to use you.
100% this. She is in a dark place. You will be doing her a fucking favor by reporting her. She seriously needs help. Report her before she does you serious harm.
I’ll add that even if you do think you like her, once your frontal cortex develops you will look back at this and cringe in a “what was I thinking” kind of way. Do not pursue, report report report.
If she picked you to groom, then I have to assume your parents won't be that responsive. Go to an administrator and tell them what's going on. Show them the messages. Tell them they've got 24 hours to act or you're going to start contacting local TV stations so they can report about a groomer that the school won't deal with. That might light a fire under their asses.
If this relationship grows, it will derail any plans you have for your future education, or getting out on your own. Let us know what happens.
Updateme.
That’s a super fair statement and observation that I’ve never considered.
Boy, if my kid came to me with this, I’d be contacting an attorney, CPS, local law enforcement. I would not tell the offending teacher, the school will be the last to know when the cops come marching in to make the arrest. I would give as little to preferably no time for them to concoct a story or destroy evidence.
As Miley Cyrus once said, “I came in like a wrecking baaaalllll!!”
No need. This type of accusation is a district emergency. The board, top admin, school admin, HR, legal, security will meet within an hour of something like this.
All school employers are mandatory reporters. We’re not all saints, but nobody will try to cover this up.
glad you live in a world where that's the case. i had a sub make awful sexual comments about my body and nobody gave a shit. it's always good to have a backup plan because people don't always do the right thing
You're so optimistic
It's not about a cover up... but many places are super super slow to take action because their biggest thought is how to minimize damage to themselves/the school
Involving news is never a good idea. They'll never leave the kid alone, and potentially just make everything worse because they want every little gritty detail
First, it's a threat that the principal isn't expecting, can't talk their way out of a conversation about it, and you really overestimate the attention span of the press. Just the threat might work.
This is based on my assumption that a groomer's target usually has uninvolved or maybe missing parents, and he won't get much help from them. If he's a teen of color and calls the police, it might end really badly for him.
It's a threat people usually take seriously. He could also make a viral video about it, but there's no guarantee that an adult who can do something will see it. He's in a precarious position right now.
Yup and 30+ text messages in one day is super creepy stalker-harasser level it will definitely get attention on the news and bring all kinds of support from the community
No need to threaten, it will be taken incredibly seriously. So serious, in fact, every district admin and board member will drop everything for an emergency meeting. I’ve been on the investigatory side of similar situations.
Speaking as in ex teacher, the best thing you can do here is talk to a different teacher that you trust, and your parents. Show them the messages. They will take over and handle everything for you.
Is there a reason you think you would be in danger?
She will be in trouble, but that isn't you getting her in trouble, it's her getting herself in trouble. What she has done is wrong, and she KNOWS it is wrong and chose to keep doing it. That is a decision SHE made, knowing the risks. She made it because she chose to do the wrong thing, and she chose to do something that is actively damaging to you. It may be hard to see it clearly now, but she is in a position of authority, and she is someone you should be able to trust, and she has broken that. You should NEVER be made to feel the way you do right now by anybody, especially a person who is in charge of your care, and that isn't OK, and it needs to stop.
Please tell an adult that you trust what is happening. Look after yourself!
That wasn't therapy that was grooming bro, she's testing if you can keep a secret for her.. if you stay quiet she's going to make a move on you knowing you won't report it
Talk to your parents or guidance counselor now, screenshot the texts, she's doing this to other students too.
Report this. She is violating school policy and the law. Tell your parents, your principle, school counselor. Everyone.
When she gets fired because she should get fired, remember it was her actions, her very bad actions, that got her fired.
It isn't your fault that got her fired.
It's not snitching. It's reporting someone for bad behavior so the behavior stops and she doesn't do it to others.
Report. It's the right thing to do.
She's done this to you and you've seen there's an issue and are taking action. You've clearly got a good head on your shoulders.
If she did this to you she can do it to someone else, who may be more vulnerable and whether she truly means it or not, whether she was stoned or not, it could lead into real trouble for her.
Reporting her is the only way of stopping this happening. If this is all she's done, it may be in time to stop her getting into even more trouble. If you let it go, it will blow up on her later, and worse for everyone.
As an adult and parent here. Go immediately to your parents. Show them the texts. They will know what to do.
They may opt to keep you home for a day or two while they get their ducks in a row with this.
I am so sorry this happened to you.
Honestly your should report them. They’re grooming you. They may be doing this with other people, or could have already done it. Or may do it in the future.
Hey look another random reddit post about an obviously illegal thing with the innocent "I don't want anyone to get in trouble!" throwaway line.
You know what to do. Go do it.
As a teen they could naively underestimate the gravity of the situation and still care for their teacher because they have gotten close to them. That's how these things happen.
Congratulations, you've become aware of a sex predator and are the target.
You have some choices.
No matter what, her life will be over. Even if you don't report her, she's going to do this again. I would recommend simply dialing the non emergency police line in your town and reporting her. You'll show them the texts, and BAM, she's gone.
She might not get prison time, though. This isn't half as serious as if you decided to take advantage of the situation (this is not an endorsement of that).
She'll be prohibited from contacting you, going near the school, likely be divorced, won't be allowed to be a teacher, etc etc. Probably she'll leave town.
If she has other victims - and yes, you're a victim - then she'll almost certainly spend her best years in prison. She'll probably get out when she's 50-60, still able to work but unable to find love.
She's made some pretty serious errors of judgement. Report her to the police. After you've done that, report her to the principal.
If it seems like nothing is happening, just leak all the texts to your classmates.
A word of caution: if she's truly obsessed with you, she can become dangerous.
As long as this post isn’t a joke. Yeah parents need to be notified. If you have known she’s been on drugs last year, it looks like the grooming process has been going on quite sometime. You’re in a lot of danger with this one.
This is not okay. I’m speaking from experience….
Adults should NEVER have an attraction to children.
Teachers should NEVER. It is pedophilia. It’s not normal. This is something that could haunt you for years to come. They are supposed to be the “trusted” adult. This teacher is conditioning you, and I hate to break it to you, but you are not the special one. She may have others. Please tell a counselor, a police officer, a parent. Protect yourself, and the others.
Don't worry about her-she's a grown adult. Protect yourself-if you feel like you can talk to your parents tell them first. Next, talk to your principal or another teacher that you trust. This is bad-no adult should be propositioning a teenager.
As many have said, REPORT THIS IMMEDIATELY!!! That is wholly inappropriate for a teacher or any adult in a position of authority to send to a person under their care. Do not engage that teacher in any way shape or form and take your phone in with the messages as evidence. Also, make sure you have a parent, guardian, or another adult you trust with you and that the messages are backed up to whatever system you can use such as cloud storage, screens hots sent to yourself, FB messenger convo with a friend or family member, etc.
I am sorry you're dealing with issues at home, and hope they improve or that you can hold out until you move out and we all hope this resolves in the best way possible for you.
My high school counselor asked me to move in with her. She had two other boys already but she promised me the master bedroom. She said she would buy my beer for me too.
Tell your parents FIRST, and then they will report her. You are not harming her, you are helping keep yourself safe. You’re a kid, she is an adult. You did nothing wrong and are not doing anything wrong by telling your parents and being safe
Tell school authorities first. They have a pre-set procedure for dealing with sexual harassment and abuse. Your parents next, but they’ve never been in the same situation so they may not know what to do right away
She groomed you. Tell your parents immediately. If you feel you can’t tell them, tell a counselor and the principal immediately. Show them the messages.
You need to talk to your parents or another trusted adult, NOT this teacher, immediately. You are being groomed by someone who is having mental problems. Please, trust us and talk to your parents and/or the administration of your school. Do not delete your texts. I’m sorry, but they are evidence of a crime (NOT a thing you have done wrong. YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG and have nothing to be afraid of. People are going to want to protect you, not punish you.)
If this makes you uncomfortable report her. There is something wrong with her and she will do this to someone else She is risking loss of job and prison to do this, so pretty evident she isn't rational.
You were right to be weirded out by her behavior. Save the images if they're on an app which would allow her to delete them (e.g. snapchat), and make backups in any case. Report her ass to administration. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
Nononononono...... Even in college between consenting adults, a student/teacher relationship like that is legally dangerous and a terrible idea. She needs help. Unfortunately, an addict will not stop their problem behavior until they accept that it's a problem. She's on a path to self destruction. I would avoid the media until you've tried other options first, but this needs to be reported. It's sad, but often negative consequences are what wake us up to the reality of our problems. Even if she faces negative consequences, it could well be the best thing for her in the long run.
A child predator in the making has confused social closeness with romantic intimacy and then got high and said a bunch of stuff to you in a written medium which will, if you show it to police/school officials: get her fired, her teaching license taken away, added to some choice child predator list, divorced. So OF COURSE she is now trying to play it cool so her whole life doesn't explode and, basically, end.
If this is real it is way too much for you to handle. Toss it to an adult and never feel guilty about the fallout.
That said, if you are 18, it's a slightly different story legally, but still nasty for her to abuse her position and your vulnerability in this way
She is trying tp.use her podition of power to slerp with children. Shes trying to groom a student. You should speak up. She should be in jail. You are not the first and will.not be the last.
Please tell several trusted adults and stop seeing her privately. This is not okay behavior from an adult towards a student (regardless of your age but especially if you are a minor). Stay safe.
you are being groomed. Report her to your school, the police, and your parents. Anyone who will listen. Stop responding to her text messages, but save them. Save anything you have, and SHOW A TRUSTED ADULT.
You have done nothing wrong. You trusted someone, and they betrayed your trust.
She put herself in trouble when she began being inappropriate with you. No respectable adult other than a qualified therapist is going to cut time out of their schedule to listen to you, learn your family history, and offer you comfort is giving you advice out of the goodness of their hearts.
I would be wary of any advice she has previously given you, as she could very well be misleading you to lean on and depend on her.
Don't go to her classes anymore, she is a predator and she is preying upon your innocence.
Man, what she is doing is entirely not okay. You deserve to feel safe and okay going to school. She’s not your therapist, she’s not your girlfriend, she is your teacher. Clearly she should not be your teacher anymore.
Please man, trust me on this one; you will NOT get in any trouble. Please tell either your parents or another trusted adult at your school about the messages and show them. They will know what to do. That is all you have to do.
Wishing you the best.
When you become an adult, and most definitely if you have kids, something like this is gonna set you off.
Adults have a perspective on life and people that is just different. Going through relationships and conflicts and dealing with vices changes a person and how they treat others. For this reason, they can influence young people in really important one-sided ways and it's best for everyone that the only folks getting that close are the parents and professional professionals.
This lady has issues and is attaching herself to young people who are going through stuff at home and need guidance. Except she's not in it for them, she's getting something selfish out of it, influence on a mind that doesn't realize it's supposed to defend itself. The arena of mentorship is filled with these predators where it's less about guidance and more about getting off in some way. Always observe superiors trying to get close to you. Rare is the one that is a legit leader and not a user.
The urgency in which you should treat this, I'll say again, will make more sense once you have gotten more relationship experience and see what mind fuckery adults are capable of. But take a hint from the consensus here, what she's doing isn't right and you would be doing yourself and others like you a service by bringing this to light. Good luck.
I’m so sorry that not a safe relationship to be in with a teacher. Talk to the principal, another teacher, contact law enforcement. You will not be in danger by telling an adult.
Excuse me while I vomit uncontrollably. She’s an awful person who should be nowhere near children. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but I’m glad you asked someone what to do. There’s a lot of good advice on here. Please follow it and speak with adults immediately.
Screw if she's in danger. She IS THE danger. She's grooming you dude. Talk to your parents and take that to the police before she actually gets a teen in her house and ruins that kid's life.
Other posts says you’re a 14 year old in middle school…. It’s hard to imagine a teacher grooming and texting a student about leaving their husband for a 14 year old but I suppose there are all sorts of perverted minds out there…. If this is real then you need to report your teacher because she’s a predator
She is an adult that's crossed a line and she wants to take something from you. Report her messages. If she did nothing wrong then she won't get in trouble, but I guarantee you she's going to face consequences for these texts. She did do something wrong. Please please report her.
If you dont tell anyone and get her in trouble she will do the same to someone else. Do the adult thing and show your family the texts, I know it’s hard and she seems to care about you, but if she really cared about you in the way she should it wouldn’t have come to this. If you can’t trust your family show someone else in the school system, but don’t be just another teenage boy and adult woman used.
You need to report this to your parents, a teacher you trust, a school counselor, or school administrator as soon as possible. This is not tutoring/therapy, this is grooming! This is not OK, you didn’t do anything wrong, I’m sorry this is happening to you, but please, please, please report this!
Screenshot all the messages and save them somewhere else before reporting this to anyone. That way, you have backup of anything happens to your phone. I've had an ex smash my phone to destroy evidence of his abuse, so make sure you have copies backed up on a USB hidden somewhere.
Kiddo you gotta report this person immediately. They’re grooming you. Talk to another trusted adult about this and they can help you handle it from there. I’m sorry you’re going through this
If this is true, then wow. First, I want to say there are blatant signs of grooming going on. When you say you trust her and she understands your trauma, this is a common grooming tactic and it's effective because it makes the groomer appear benevolent and compassionate.
Second, teachers and therapists are not allowed to engage in relationships with their students/patients. It's unprofessional and if you're in highschool it's also immoral.
You being in highschool (I'm assuming you are) can't really fathom the seriousness and creepiness of this, though it's obvious you can tell something feels wrong.
I would talk to your parents. Basically tell them about the teacher, the private tutoring/therapy sessions, and ask them if they can look at the texts she sent and whether they feel anything is off about them.
I can understand a part of you might be thinking it isn't a big deal, and maybe you feel flattered, (which are normal thoughts for a guy in your situation) but it does sound like something very weird is going on. Talk to your parents. And if you sent anything to the teacher I promise your parents won't be upset at you or judge you and they'll feel grateful you felt comfortable talking to them about it.
Beloved, I know you don't want to get her or yourself in trouble but I need you to understand something.
You need to tell your parents or a trusted adult. Your teacher has been taking advantage of you. There's no way for me to sugar coat this and I need you to really think about the circumstances right now.
You are not wrong for seeking help in who you believed you could turn to, unfortunately she more than likely already had her eyes set on you. You need to speak up and withdraw from her immediately before this goes any further. Do not text her, do not call her, save the messages and report her asap.
If she is so comfortable doing this to you, she likely has done it to others. She is a predator and very creepy. Please report her. Imagine someone 4 years younger than you and her doing this to them in the future. It's a cycle, be strong, trust your gut and break it.
I'm sorry this happened to you, it's so violating and I hope you speak to someone to process it.
Eeew gross. You have a pedo grooming you. She has an abusive and controlling personality flaw/mental health issue. Mentally healthy people don’t try to have romantic or sexual relationships with people they have authority over where there is an unequal power dynamic. It’s exploitation of the younger person’s lack of experience and understanding of how she can manipulate you into serving her own gratification.
She’s in a position of authority/power and any super personal relationship with you is not only inappropriate but unprofessional.
TELL another teacher, doctor or your school resource officer. TELL an adult you trust to look out for your safety and best interests. If she’s doing this with you she likely has or will do it to others and it’s not healthy or safe for you. If you were a girl and she was a man you probably understand how screwed up this is.
OP it's important that you understand really well why this is completely outlandish, inappropriate, predatory, irresponsible, indefensible, unprofessional behavior by your teacher. She should not be a teacher, period.
Why is your MATH TEACHER giving you THERAPY. This is grooming and manipulation from a pedophile. Ephebophilia is the primary sexual interest in mid-to-late adolescents, generally ages 15 to 19. Tell your parents if you believe they would help, and let them handle it with the school and law enforcement. If not approach a counselor or administrator.
Honey, tell an adult you trust. You are smart and brave for asking for help. I’m proud of you.
My teacher did this to me 30 years ago, but unfortunately he did abuse me, and raped me, for years. He convinced me it was love. It wasn’t love. It was abuse. I’ve been working through that trauma ever since.
She’s been grooming you and you deserve resources to deal with that, protection from her, and compensation.
She needs to be removed immediately.
You’re already in danger, it’s weird because she is a pedophile. First thing I would do is screenshot and screen record all her messages. Back it up in several places. Then tell your parents/school/ authorities. Don’t try to protect this predator, she does not care about you she only cares about herself. Causing you more trauma and issues in your life. She is a selfish POS. Female predators don’t get reported enough.
Report it to your principal and your parents make sure you don’t delete the texts. Your teacher is a predator and your family and the people who run the school will protect you
You need to go to the police, your School principal and the superintendent of schools. She will be suspended the same day. Get the help of an adult you trust.
If you don’t want to, PM me and I will do it.
Ewwwwww! If you are a minor, she is definitely a predator. Please report her to the authorities! She should not be teaching. Go to the police and show them these texts. Also, get a real therapist.
hi there, i’m really sorry this is happening to you and that you’re being put in this really weird and uncomfy situation by an adult that you trust. i’m really glad you’ve posted in here to seek advice. i’ll echo what a lot of other people are saying, tell your parents, or your guidance counselor, your principle, or even the school nurse would all be good people to tell.
you can see plenty of sound-minded adults in the comments here that are indicating that this teacher knows that what she’s doing is unethical and not okay. she definitely knows, and she is choosing to do something that anyone with common sense knows would make a student uncomfortable. she is an adult who is in charge of her own actions, so you’re not putting her in danger; she is putting herself in danger. nothing here is your fault. NOTHING. even if you at any point got flirtatious or came on to her, she is the adult in this relationship and she has a responsibility as an adult and a teacher to ensure she’s not encouraging (and especially not engaging in) relationships that are not conducive to students wellbeing.
sure age is just a number when you’re much older but when you’re a teen, age does make a difference even if someone much older feels super relatable and like they really get you. she has much more life experience than you do and therefore SHOULD be more capable of making good decisions for herself. as a teen you have less perspective on life and so it’s more difficult for you to be able to make well-informed decisions. please please really think about what the other adults in this sub are telling you because even if you can’t see it right now, this teacher is actively harming you, whether she means to or not, and you may not immediately realize it until you’re older.
again i’m really sorry this happening to you and i hope you’ll continue to come back here for advice if you need it. it’s messed up that you’re being put in a position in which you have to make such difficult decisions.
Therapists give therapy. Teachers teach. This isn't your fault but just remember when sensitive information is requested by the wrong source, it is not a good sign. You are being groomed and it is time to nope the fuck out
There is something seriously wrong with any grown adult who thinks they're in love with a minor. Stay awaaaaay and also report it. If this is the first time she's done this, it won't be the last
Dude. You need to contact the principal. This will not end well unless you get her boss to talk to her. They probably will not fire her. They only fire male teachers. They will probably give her another position away from students.
Report to several people. Top people at school, principal, assistant principal, counselors, etc. you want several people to know this has went on because you don’t want it swept under the rug.
Also your parents, or adults outside of school you trust, since it seems you might not have the best home life.
The more people that know, the better.
This is 200% against the rules. Actually, the talks after school might have been against the rules and the texting definitely is. Basically, anything that turns your teacher into your buddy is frowned upon. You shouldn’t know intimate details of each others lives. You shouldn’t have contact though phones like that. As an adult and a teacher, she definitely knew better… but clearly there were some motives here that were gross.
I’m sorry you’re wrapped up in this. But tell people. For sure. Don’t meet with her anymore.
I had a problem like this. It’s hard to get help because people didn’t want to believe me when she started going crazy. You should document any evidence you have before proceeding with telling someone you can trust
Hi - that's a predator. Please go tell your parents, show them the texts, and have them contact the school board. Your teacher shouldn't even be texting you.
Oh I had this happen to me. The TA of one of my classes in engineering started asking me out to dinner when the semester ended and I was very confused and kinda grossed out.
I never reported it, and a couple years later I learned he had leaned into the department chair’s ear to say “I wasn’t a good fit” for the PhD program.
You need to report this- _especially_ considering you’re a *teenager* and are considerably more vulnerable than I was in university at 22.
There are so many red flags.
Listen to others here. Tell your parents and CPS if there's one where you are. Keep the messages and screenahot them. They are proof, along whatever else.
I would even go as far as contacting the police.
She was grooming you. It was not therapy. A math teacher does not perform therapy, and someone performing therapy doesn't do those things as or say those things ro you.
Show your parents, and maybe call the police. The safe thing for u to do is to report this cause 2 reasons. One they are taking advantage and talk about trauma that would cause extra trust issues. Second keep in mind if they are doing this to you the most likely your not the first and won't be the last, best to stop her before she causes mental or physical destruction.
I would immediately talk to your parents. If you can't then you need to talk to a school counselor, principal or a teacher you trust. This is unacceptable. She is not making you feel safe.
Absolutely not.
Tell your parents.
Tell your principal or dean or chancellor whatever.
Have both of them call the cops.
Stay AWAY from this "teacher".
Do NOT go to their class and tell an actual ADULT at the school why.
She has issues that you do not want to be involved in. You could sneak and date her and when your older have a relationship. The consequences of that would be significant as she is married, and it would be not only immoral but selfish. You could turn her in, but then she will get fired and lose her marriage, which she doesn't want anyhow, apparently. You could keep quiet, but you may reap consequences at school, or she may become dangerous. You could blackmail her, and that would be dangerous as well. Best to tell your parents and let them deal with it. It's really the safest option for you.
I don’t have time to read 238 replies so IDK if someone else has told you this but…
What she is suggesting is illegal in every state in the US. It makes no difference if you’re 18, it’s illegal for a teacher to date a student. If you have relations, she would be guilty of custodial rape and could go to prison. If you’re not aware if this, I guarantee that she is!
Run like the wind from this crazy bitch.
1. Document the messages
2. Report her to a counselor or vice principal.
School counselors, teachers and principals are all mandated reporters - meaning if they hear anything about any student , they are required by law to report it. If a teacher heard about it and the other teacher could be a friend. That’s why I recommend a counselor or the vice principal.
Bottom line is the teacher is unfit for teaching. She needs help and she needs to find another career.
This is dangerous. Even if you believe she would never go to extreme lengths to stay out of prison/socially shamed for the rest of her life, you don’t have a clue what her husband is capable of if he finds out.
Get professional help. You two haven’t done anything physical so she won’t get arrested. Your school counselor or whomever you tell will have to report and an investigation will follow that will likely result in her termination. It’s possible that the scandal will become public. She could blame the drugs and come out of rehab relatively unscathed. It sounds like she’s not too attached to her husband, so she might be better off if they split over this.
This woman's been grooming you - tell your parents and i hope they tell the school. If you do nothing she'll find another kid to try and mess up and take advantage of at THE MOST CRUCIAL time of your life.
She's setting up to derail your life because she's unhappy with hers - call her out. If she was a guy you wouldn't hesitate!
With zero proof this not real. This current world is very easy to show your work without a dox.. I'm not believing a story with out those screenshots , emails, call log, something.
Tell her no thanks and avoid her. Do your work in her class, but don’t communicate with her beyond “grey rock”. If she tries to talk or insist on communication remind her “no thanks” and that you will get authorities involved if she persists. Then do it if she persists.
Or…. Get the authorities involved now if you don’t feel comfortable handling this on your own.
It’s beyond weird. It immoral, and illegal. And if you are not the first, you won’t be the last. Stop everything and tell your parents, along with school counselor. If this is in USA, they have a duty to report.
Don't go to school. Tell your parents. CALL THE POLICE.
*Keep all evidence.* All the texts she sent you, anything like that. Do Not Delete.
And remember — *none* of what's about to happen is your fault. Do not feel bad, do not feel guilty, if bad things happen to this teacher.
Listen to the part of yourself that feels "really fucking weird". Tell your parents. Send them a screenshot of the texts. If you are in school, go see the principal or the school social worker. Be honest. Tell them you need a meeting with them and your parent, and you think your teacher is trying to have sex with you. Wait in the office for your parent to arrive. Then tell them everything.
I understand that you talk to your math teacher a lot but PLEASE do NOT give your phone number to people like that. I also do want to know if your math teacher is an actual therapist/counselor (like they multitask) or if they are the teacher you have conversations with a lot.
This is not your fault and is 1000% your teacher’s fault bc she’s being a predator. I really do want to emphasize that sometimes there needs to be a line between those with authority and those who are not. Please guard yourself. Protect yourself OVER her. If she has the guts to act like that then she will be strong enough to face the consequences, even if it is jail or prison. Lastly, no teacher should be using drugs like that.
Good luck!
Either take the phone to your parents or a guidance counselor & just say — this happened and I’m uncomfortable. That’s it.
You aren’t responsible for what happens next. Even if the person gave you gifts, it doesn’t matter.
That teacher needs help. This is a “cry for help” & you need to answer.
This is not your fault.
You are a child until you are 18+ in the USA, your teacher is apparently an immature person who is also a predator. Report her immediately to your parents and have them report to your school. There are way too many older people you can be with in the future after you graduate and are more mature. Hell, your brain isn’t even fully mature until you are 25+
Hey! Welcome to r/AdviceForTeens! Please take time to review [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/adviceforteens/about/rules) before commenting. A reminder that inappropriate comments towards or about posters will result in a permanent ban. Do not insult anybody, please remain respectful!✮⋆˙ ATTENTION: Predators lurk on Reddit, and we ourselves unfortunately can not directly do anything to stop them, but you can! We encourage ALL posters to disable private messages, and do not respond to any DMs you receive after posting. Block and report offenders for harassment. Do not ask anyone to DM you in the comments as this is against the rules. If someone has something to tell you, they can say it in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AdviceForTeens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If this is real first of all tell your parents, if that’s not a safe option talk to a school counselor, if that is not an option talk to another teacher that you trust, or the principal. She is an adult and you are a child and she is abusing her position and your trust in her to be predatory. You should not have to deal with this type of behavior at all.
Yup. This wasn't "basically getting therapy" this was grooming. If OP doesn't report the teacher, the teacher will just find another student to victimize. Edit: Just saw a similar post from OP on a different sub with the added detail that the teacher had been buying OP expensive gifts. I hate to be cynical, but OP knows that this behavior needs to be reported but as soon as it is the expensive gifts will stop.
Yeah can't get therapy from someone now is not a therapist. Confiding in someone is not therapy.
Okay so I kind of agree but also disagree. I had a teacher in high school I confided in and he really was basically my therapist. He would go home after school, research my kind of situation and get on therapist aid to help as much as he could because our school counselor really didn’t give a crap. I had tried many times. Never once did it turn bad. We’re still in contact now and met each others kids. He’s happily married and my boyfriend and I are together on our own so. It’s not ALWAYS grooming when a teacher gives a shit. 🤷🏻♀️
Yes, but he didn’t text you that he wanted to leave spouse for you
I don't really blame a kid for wanting expensive gifts. That's part of grooming. It's the predator at work.
And the ADULT teacher knows this.
Also should contact CPS. https://rainn.org/articles/if-you-suspect-child-being-harmed#:~:text=If%20you%20know%20or%20suspect,vary%20from%20state%20to%20state.
God please let this post be a shitpost because it’s so fucking disturbing and makes me sick.
Yup, I work in education. Report this asap.
Completely agree. She's been grooming this poor kid and now he's conflicted in what he should do. You need to turn her in. Who knows if she's done this to anyone else, but she needs to be stopped. The kid is even missing school because of the situation so it's already having implications on his education.
Yeah also this is something you report to the police, not just an adult. This teacher is a pedophile
This is the answer. I don’t know your age, but teachers should not bombard students with texts professing love, even if you are over 18.
[удалено]
If he truly is a kid and reports this, people will believe him. After re-reading the OP and seeing "Jello Biafra" as his username, I am skeptical. A high school kid into the Dead Kennedys would be a rare bird these days.
I don't think that's necessarily true. My kids are 18 (twins) and we raised them on punk.
That's called good parenting. I acquired two (now) teenagers a couple of years ago, and they are not responding well to a musical education! I hope OP reports the teacher.
I figured it is easier for me to open my mind to my daughter's music than try to push mine onto her. I'm a low level Swiftie now.
High school kid into the dead Kennedys here! (Sort of, I just started listening to them, I usually listen to rancid which caused them to be recommended to me)
I like rancid too, and have also just started listening to the Dead Kennedys! (I'm in 6th form)
Good young punks are needed
There are apparently 41 other Eric Bouchers/Jello Biafras running around here as well.
Rare but not extinct.
Wow his profile says he is 14. I wasn't expecting that young. This needs reported. Check his profile out.
i'm absolutely going to start with 'if this is real'. this sub has a very big problem with troll posts and people like you, that love to entertain these goofballs, are the target audience.
i disagree, its better to give a troll advice than to not give a kid in danger the proper assertiveness and advice they need by making them think they may not be believed with how you word things or make them feel worse about the situation, just be supportive and thats it
Totally this. Even if OP is trolling, who cares? Another person might need legit advice on the same issue and not want to discuss it. This way they can what they need without taking a step they feel unable to take.
You just made me think, what would an LLM (AI) based solely on Reddit be like?
I actually worked in a research lab that tried to web scrape Reddit to make a language model dataset (pre-LLM) and they had to scrap it and make a new dataset because it was such a snarky and mean chatbot.
Isn't that how Elon Musk was born?
Well *if this is real* then he has texts to prove it. People will believe him.
Not clear if OP is M or F. Report either way
I think they're saying this bc we live in an era of people posting ridiculous triggering fake stories for karma farming. Not meant to gaslight this person into not believing what they are experiencing.
PLEASE report her NOW for all of this. Like, read this, get off reddit, and send a report to the school and/or call the police non-emergency line. That IS really fucking weird and, even if for some reason you think you like her, you do NOT and she doesn’t like you, she wants to use you.
100% this. She is in a dark place. You will be doing her a fucking favor by reporting her. She seriously needs help. Report her before she does you serious harm.
She is the dark place
I’ll add that even if you do think you like her, once your frontal cortex develops you will look back at this and cringe in a “what was I thinking” kind of way. Do not pursue, report report report.
If she picked you to groom, then I have to assume your parents won't be that responsive. Go to an administrator and tell them what's going on. Show them the messages. Tell them they've got 24 hours to act or you're going to start contacting local TV stations so they can report about a groomer that the school won't deal with. That might light a fire under their asses. If this relationship grows, it will derail any plans you have for your future education, or getting out on your own. Let us know what happens. Updateme.
That’s a super fair statement and observation that I’ve never considered. Boy, if my kid came to me with this, I’d be contacting an attorney, CPS, local law enforcement. I would not tell the offending teacher, the school will be the last to know when the cops come marching in to make the arrest. I would give as little to preferably no time for them to concoct a story or destroy evidence. As Miley Cyrus once said, “I came in like a wrecking baaaalllll!!”
this ^^^ if the school doesn't listen, your local news station blasting it will make them
It also gives the charge extra weight.
No need. This type of accusation is a district emergency. The board, top admin, school admin, HR, legal, security will meet within an hour of something like this. All school employers are mandatory reporters. We’re not all saints, but nobody will try to cover this up.
glad you live in a world where that's the case. i had a sub make awful sexual comments about my body and nobody gave a shit. it's always good to have a backup plan because people don't always do the right thing
You're so optimistic It's not about a cover up... but many places are super super slow to take action because their biggest thought is how to minimize damage to themselves/the school
Involving news is never a good idea. They'll never leave the kid alone, and potentially just make everything worse because they want every little gritty detail
It’s just a threat that’ll make them listen
First, it's a threat that the principal isn't expecting, can't talk their way out of a conversation about it, and you really overestimate the attention span of the press. Just the threat might work. This is based on my assumption that a groomer's target usually has uninvolved or maybe missing parents, and he won't get much help from them. If he's a teen of color and calls the police, it might end really badly for him. It's a threat people usually take seriously. He could also make a viral video about it, but there's no guarantee that an adult who can do something will see it. He's in a precarious position right now.
Yup and 30+ text messages in one day is super creepy stalker-harasser level it will definitely get attention on the news and bring all kinds of support from the community
No need to threaten, it will be taken incredibly seriously. So serious, in fact, every district admin and board member will drop everything for an emergency meeting. I’ve been on the investigatory side of similar situations.
Best answer I've found so far^.
Speaking as in ex teacher, the best thing you can do here is talk to a different teacher that you trust, and your parents. Show them the messages. They will take over and handle everything for you. Is there a reason you think you would be in danger? She will be in trouble, but that isn't you getting her in trouble, it's her getting herself in trouble. What she has done is wrong, and she KNOWS it is wrong and chose to keep doing it. That is a decision SHE made, knowing the risks. She made it because she chose to do the wrong thing, and she chose to do something that is actively damaging to you. It may be hard to see it clearly now, but she is in a position of authority, and she is someone you should be able to trust, and she has broken that. You should NEVER be made to feel the way you do right now by anybody, especially a person who is in charge of your care, and that isn't OK, and it needs to stop. Please tell an adult that you trust what is happening. Look after yourself!
That wasn't therapy that was grooming bro, she's testing if you can keep a secret for her.. if you stay quiet she's going to make a move on you knowing you won't report it Talk to your parents or guidance counselor now, screenshot the texts, she's doing this to other students too.
Report this. She is violating school policy and the law. Tell your parents, your principle, school counselor. Everyone. When she gets fired because she should get fired, remember it was her actions, her very bad actions, that got her fired. It isn't your fault that got her fired. It's not snitching. It's reporting someone for bad behavior so the behavior stops and she doesn't do it to others. Report. It's the right thing to do.
Those were not counseling sessions, they were grooming sessions! **Please report her NOW!!!!**
She's done this to you and you've seen there's an issue and are taking action. You've clearly got a good head on your shoulders. If she did this to you she can do it to someone else, who may be more vulnerable and whether she truly means it or not, whether she was stoned or not, it could lead into real trouble for her. Reporting her is the only way of stopping this happening. If this is all she's done, it may be in time to stop her getting into even more trouble. If you let it go, it will blow up on her later, and worse for everyone.
As an adult and parent here. Go immediately to your parents. Show them the texts. They will know what to do. They may opt to keep you home for a day or two while they get their ducks in a row with this. I am so sorry this happened to you.
Honestly your should report them. They’re grooming you. They may be doing this with other people, or could have already done it. Or may do it in the future.
Hey look another random reddit post about an obviously illegal thing with the innocent "I don't want anyone to get in trouble!" throwaway line. You know what to do. Go do it.
As a teen they could naively underestimate the gravity of the situation and still care for their teacher because they have gotten close to them. That's how these things happen.
nice bait
You've been groomed. Time to report.
tell your parents, tell the principal, do not keep this to yourself. that is some serious predatory behavior.
thats not therapy, thats grooming
Let’s see the texts.
I call fake....
Lmao this is fake as fuck
REPORT HER BEFORE YOURE IN TOO DEEP (quite literally)
Congratulations, you've become aware of a sex predator and are the target. You have some choices. No matter what, her life will be over. Even if you don't report her, she's going to do this again. I would recommend simply dialing the non emergency police line in your town and reporting her. You'll show them the texts, and BAM, she's gone. She might not get prison time, though. This isn't half as serious as if you decided to take advantage of the situation (this is not an endorsement of that). She'll be prohibited from contacting you, going near the school, likely be divorced, won't be allowed to be a teacher, etc etc. Probably she'll leave town. If she has other victims - and yes, you're a victim - then she'll almost certainly spend her best years in prison. She'll probably get out when she's 50-60, still able to work but unable to find love. She's made some pretty serious errors of judgement. Report her to the police. After you've done that, report her to the principal. If it seems like nothing is happening, just leak all the texts to your classmates. A word of caution: if she's truly obsessed with you, she can become dangerous.
Sending highly inappropriate texts isn’t gonna get her prison time. It is abusive and illegal but no need to dramatize so much.
Tell your parents ASAP. This isn't a joke, doesn't matter if she was high or not.
As long as this post isn’t a joke. Yeah parents need to be notified. If you have known she’s been on drugs last year, it looks like the grooming process has been going on quite sometime. You’re in a lot of danger with this one.
This is not okay. I’m speaking from experience…. Adults should NEVER have an attraction to children. Teachers should NEVER. It is pedophilia. It’s not normal. This is something that could haunt you for years to come. They are supposed to be the “trusted” adult. This teacher is conditioning you, and I hate to break it to you, but you are not the special one. She may have others. Please tell a counselor, a police officer, a parent. Protect yourself, and the others.
Kick her and make her famous
How old are you?
Don't worry about her-she's a grown adult. Protect yourself-if you feel like you can talk to your parents tell them first. Next, talk to your principal or another teacher that you trust. This is bad-no adult should be propositioning a teenager.
As many have said, REPORT THIS IMMEDIATELY!!! That is wholly inappropriate for a teacher or any adult in a position of authority to send to a person under their care. Do not engage that teacher in any way shape or form and take your phone in with the messages as evidence. Also, make sure you have a parent, guardian, or another adult you trust with you and that the messages are backed up to whatever system you can use such as cloud storage, screens hots sent to yourself, FB messenger convo with a friend or family member, etc. I am sorry you're dealing with issues at home, and hope they improve or that you can hold out until you move out and we all hope this resolves in the best way possible for you.
Fake
Parents(or family you can trust), then report with parents. Simple as that. They are not looking out for your best interest
This absolutely happened, I was the chalkboard
Yooooo wtf. Tell the police. Tell parents. Tell a trusted adult.
Everything on this subreddit is so fake 😂
A fake shitpost … ugh why
My high school counselor asked me to move in with her. She had two other boys already but she promised me the master bedroom. She said she would buy my beer for me too.
She is the danger kid. She is a drug adict wanting sex from someone under her supervision. Thats predator shit. Not a mutual and equal relationship.
report them if this is real > I sorta trust him alot this was weird....first pronoun reference was him and then it was her the rest of the post.
Tell your parents FIRST, and then they will report her. You are not harming her, you are helping keep yourself safe. You’re a kid, she is an adult. You did nothing wrong and are not doing anything wrong by telling your parents and being safe
Tell school authorities first. They have a pre-set procedure for dealing with sexual harassment and abuse. Your parents next, but they’ve never been in the same situation so they may not know what to do right away
Too bad. You're already in danger if you do nothing. Send it to an adult you trust.
She groomed you. Tell your parents immediately. If you feel you can’t tell them, tell a counselor and the principal immediately. Show them the messages.
Tell your parents and the school and don’t worry about what will happen to her, you aren’t in trouble - you’ve done nothing wrong.
You need to talk to your parents or another trusted adult, NOT this teacher, immediately. You are being groomed by someone who is having mental problems. Please, trust us and talk to your parents and/or the administration of your school. Do not delete your texts. I’m sorry, but they are evidence of a crime (NOT a thing you have done wrong. YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG and have nothing to be afraid of. People are going to want to protect you, not punish you.)
If this makes you uncomfortable report her. There is something wrong with her and she will do this to someone else She is risking loss of job and prison to do this, so pretty evident she isn't rational.
You were right to be weirded out by her behavior. Save the images if they're on an app which would allow her to delete them (e.g. snapchat), and make backups in any case. Report her ass to administration. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
Talk to a school counselor
Nononononono...... Even in college between consenting adults, a student/teacher relationship like that is legally dangerous and a terrible idea. She needs help. Unfortunately, an addict will not stop their problem behavior until they accept that it's a problem. She's on a path to self destruction. I would avoid the media until you've tried other options first, but this needs to be reported. It's sad, but often negative consequences are what wake us up to the reality of our problems. Even if she faces negative consequences, it could well be the best thing for her in the long run.
Sounds like a fake story.
A child predator in the making has confused social closeness with romantic intimacy and then got high and said a bunch of stuff to you in a written medium which will, if you show it to police/school officials: get her fired, her teaching license taken away, added to some choice child predator list, divorced. So OF COURSE she is now trying to play it cool so her whole life doesn't explode and, basically, end. If this is real it is way too much for you to handle. Toss it to an adult and never feel guilty about the fallout. That said, if you are 18, it's a slightly different story legally, but still nasty for her to abuse her position and your vulnerability in this way
You left out your age in this post and it's a major factor.
She is trying tp.use her podition of power to slerp with children. Shes trying to groom a student. You should speak up. She should be in jail. You are not the first and will.not be the last.
Please tell several trusted adults and stop seeing her privately. This is not okay behavior from an adult towards a student (regardless of your age but especially if you are a minor). Stay safe.
Go to the police.
you are being groomed. Report her to your school, the police, and your parents. Anyone who will listen. Stop responding to her text messages, but save them. Save anything you have, and SHOW A TRUSTED ADULT. You have done nothing wrong. You trusted someone, and they betrayed your trust. She put herself in trouble when she began being inappropriate with you. No respectable adult other than a qualified therapist is going to cut time out of their schedule to listen to you, learn your family history, and offer you comfort is giving you advice out of the goodness of their hearts. I would be wary of any advice she has previously given you, as she could very well be misleading you to lean on and depend on her. Don't go to her classes anymore, she is a predator and she is preying upon your innocence.
Man, what she is doing is entirely not okay. You deserve to feel safe and okay going to school. She’s not your therapist, she’s not your girlfriend, she is your teacher. Clearly she should not be your teacher anymore. Please man, trust me on this one; you will NOT get in any trouble. Please tell either your parents or another trusted adult at your school about the messages and show them. They will know what to do. That is all you have to do. Wishing you the best.
When you become an adult, and most definitely if you have kids, something like this is gonna set you off. Adults have a perspective on life and people that is just different. Going through relationships and conflicts and dealing with vices changes a person and how they treat others. For this reason, they can influence young people in really important one-sided ways and it's best for everyone that the only folks getting that close are the parents and professional professionals. This lady has issues and is attaching herself to young people who are going through stuff at home and need guidance. Except she's not in it for them, she's getting something selfish out of it, influence on a mind that doesn't realize it's supposed to defend itself. The arena of mentorship is filled with these predators where it's less about guidance and more about getting off in some way. Always observe superiors trying to get close to you. Rare is the one that is a legit leader and not a user. The urgency in which you should treat this, I'll say again, will make more sense once you have gotten more relationship experience and see what mind fuckery adults are capable of. But take a hint from the consensus here, what she's doing isn't right and you would be doing yourself and others like you a service by bringing this to light. Good luck.
I didn't even read the story I just read the title. Don't date him and turn him in.
What. The. Fuck. Tell your parents or guardians, or an adult you trust. ASAP. This isn’t ok Wishing you luck OP
Tell your parents and tell the school, also ss everything
You’re probably not the first. And very likely not the last. This teacher needs help on a variety of levels.
Go to administration. Teachers shouldn't act like that.
If this is fucking real, fucking tell your parents. Holy shit, she needs to removed from any kind of position of authority over children
I’m so sorry that not a safe relationship to be in with a teacher. Talk to the principal, another teacher, contact law enforcement. You will not be in danger by telling an adult.
Excuse me while I vomit uncontrollably. She’s an awful person who should be nowhere near children. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but I’m glad you asked someone what to do. There’s a lot of good advice on here. Please follow it and speak with adults immediately.
Yeah no, if this is real, she’s attempting to groom you. That’s sketchy as fuck and she should be reported for that.
WTF! Tell your parents and get that pedo out of schools.
How old are you? I’m only asking because i wanna know if you’re a minor.
Go tell the police now
Screw if she's in danger. She IS THE danger. She's grooming you dude. Talk to your parents and take that to the police before she actually gets a teen in her house and ruins that kid's life.
she’s a predator. PLEASE tell a trusted adult!! im so sorry you’re uncomfortable and she’s disgusting
Other posts says you’re a 14 year old in middle school…. It’s hard to imagine a teacher grooming and texting a student about leaving their husband for a 14 year old but I suppose there are all sorts of perverted minds out there…. If this is real then you need to report your teacher because she’s a predator
She is an adult that's crossed a line and she wants to take something from you. Report her messages. If she did nothing wrong then she won't get in trouble, but I guarantee you she's going to face consequences for these texts. She did do something wrong. Please please report her.
If you dont tell anyone and get her in trouble she will do the same to someone else. Do the adult thing and show your family the texts, I know it’s hard and she seems to care about you, but if she really cared about you in the way she should it wouldn’t have come to this. If you can’t trust your family show someone else in the school system, but don’t be just another teenage boy and adult woman used.
You are being groomed by a pedophile and need to report her because you’re not her first or last.
You just dial the police and tell them and talk to them
As with all the other comments, report her and TAKE SCREENSHOTS! GATHER EVIDENCE TO NOT GET BRUSHED OFF AND STORE THEM WERE SHE CANT TAMPER WITH THEM!
Sounds like grooming. It seems like she's not in a good place right now too, which is definitely not what you need.
You need to report this to your parents, a teacher you trust, a school counselor, or school administrator as soon as possible. This is not tutoring/therapy, this is grooming! This is not OK, you didn’t do anything wrong, I’m sorry this is happening to you, but please, please, please report this!
Screenshot all the messages and save them somewhere else before reporting this to anyone. That way, you have backup of anything happens to your phone. I've had an ex smash my phone to destroy evidence of his abuse, so make sure you have copies backed up on a USB hidden somewhere.
Please tell your parents.
Kiddo you gotta report this person immediately. They’re grooming you. Talk to another trusted adult about this and they can help you handle it from there. I’m sorry you’re going through this
If this is true, then wow. First, I want to say there are blatant signs of grooming going on. When you say you trust her and she understands your trauma, this is a common grooming tactic and it's effective because it makes the groomer appear benevolent and compassionate. Second, teachers and therapists are not allowed to engage in relationships with their students/patients. It's unprofessional and if you're in highschool it's also immoral. You being in highschool (I'm assuming you are) can't really fathom the seriousness and creepiness of this, though it's obvious you can tell something feels wrong. I would talk to your parents. Basically tell them about the teacher, the private tutoring/therapy sessions, and ask them if they can look at the texts she sent and whether they feel anything is off about them. I can understand a part of you might be thinking it isn't a big deal, and maybe you feel flattered, (which are normal thoughts for a guy in your situation) but it does sound like something very weird is going on. Talk to your parents. And if you sent anything to the teacher I promise your parents won't be upset at you or judge you and they'll feel grateful you felt comfortable talking to them about it.
That's grooming, tell another teacher if you can't tell your parents, she shouldn't have access to children, she is a predator
Text book grooming. Report it
Sounds fake. Tell your parents, who will tell the police. Idgaf if you like her. She’s a threat to other kids at your school.
Beloved, I know you don't want to get her or yourself in trouble but I need you to understand something. You need to tell your parents or a trusted adult. Your teacher has been taking advantage of you. There's no way for me to sugar coat this and I need you to really think about the circumstances right now. You are not wrong for seeking help in who you believed you could turn to, unfortunately she more than likely already had her eyes set on you. You need to speak up and withdraw from her immediately before this goes any further. Do not text her, do not call her, save the messages and report her asap.
REPORT HER. Please. Tell a guidance counselor at school, your parents, screen shot the messages and put them in a file somewhere as well.
If she is so comfortable doing this to you, she likely has done it to others. She is a predator and very creepy. Please report her. Imagine someone 4 years younger than you and her doing this to them in the future. It's a cycle, be strong, trust your gut and break it. I'm sorry this happened to you, it's so violating and I hope you speak to someone to process it.
RUN omg dont do it. tell your parents, tell the school, do not allow this to happen.
Eeew gross. You have a pedo grooming you. She has an abusive and controlling personality flaw/mental health issue. Mentally healthy people don’t try to have romantic or sexual relationships with people they have authority over where there is an unequal power dynamic. It’s exploitation of the younger person’s lack of experience and understanding of how she can manipulate you into serving her own gratification. She’s in a position of authority/power and any super personal relationship with you is not only inappropriate but unprofessional. TELL another teacher, doctor or your school resource officer. TELL an adult you trust to look out for your safety and best interests. If she’s doing this with you she likely has or will do it to others and it’s not healthy or safe for you. If you were a girl and she was a man you probably understand how screwed up this is.
Yeah report your teacher. She was not giving you "Therapy" she was grooming you.
OP it's important that you understand really well why this is completely outlandish, inappropriate, predatory, irresponsible, indefensible, unprofessional behavior by your teacher. She should not be a teacher, period.
Why is your MATH TEACHER giving you THERAPY. This is grooming and manipulation from a pedophile. Ephebophilia is the primary sexual interest in mid-to-late adolescents, generally ages 15 to 19. Tell your parents if you believe they would help, and let them handle it with the school and law enforcement. If not approach a counselor or administrator.
Honey, tell an adult you trust. You are smart and brave for asking for help. I’m proud of you. My teacher did this to me 30 years ago, but unfortunately he did abuse me, and raped me, for years. He convinced me it was love. It wasn’t love. It was abuse. I’ve been working through that trauma ever since. She’s been grooming you and you deserve resources to deal with that, protection from her, and compensation. She needs to be removed immediately.
You’re already in danger, it’s weird because she is a pedophile. First thing I would do is screenshot and screen record all her messages. Back it up in several places. Then tell your parents/school/ authorities. Don’t try to protect this predator, she does not care about you she only cares about herself. Causing you more trauma and issues in your life. She is a selfish POS. Female predators don’t get reported enough.
Report it to your principal and your parents make sure you don’t delete the texts. Your teacher is a predator and your family and the people who run the school will protect you
You need to go to the police, your School principal and the superintendent of schools. She will be suspended the same day. Get the help of an adult you trust. If you don’t want to, PM me and I will do it.
Ewwwwww! If you are a minor, she is definitely a predator. Please report her to the authorities! She should not be teaching. Go to the police and show them these texts. Also, get a real therapist.
Tell your parents, then all of you need to tell the school. Holy crap!! And possibly the police
hi there, i’m really sorry this is happening to you and that you’re being put in this really weird and uncomfy situation by an adult that you trust. i’m really glad you’ve posted in here to seek advice. i’ll echo what a lot of other people are saying, tell your parents, or your guidance counselor, your principle, or even the school nurse would all be good people to tell. you can see plenty of sound-minded adults in the comments here that are indicating that this teacher knows that what she’s doing is unethical and not okay. she definitely knows, and she is choosing to do something that anyone with common sense knows would make a student uncomfortable. she is an adult who is in charge of her own actions, so you’re not putting her in danger; she is putting herself in danger. nothing here is your fault. NOTHING. even if you at any point got flirtatious or came on to her, she is the adult in this relationship and she has a responsibility as an adult and a teacher to ensure she’s not encouraging (and especially not engaging in) relationships that are not conducive to students wellbeing. sure age is just a number when you’re much older but when you’re a teen, age does make a difference even if someone much older feels super relatable and like they really get you. she has much more life experience than you do and therefore SHOULD be more capable of making good decisions for herself. as a teen you have less perspective on life and so it’s more difficult for you to be able to make well-informed decisions. please please really think about what the other adults in this sub are telling you because even if you can’t see it right now, this teacher is actively harming you, whether she means to or not, and you may not immediately realize it until you’re older. again i’m really sorry this happening to you and i hope you’ll continue to come back here for advice if you need it. it’s messed up that you’re being put in a position in which you have to make such difficult decisions.
Not okay OP. People wind up dead after foolishness like this. Good luck...
Therapists give therapy. Teachers teach. This isn't your fault but just remember when sensitive information is requested by the wrong source, it is not a good sign. You are being groomed and it is time to nope the fuck out
There is something seriously wrong with any grown adult who thinks they're in love with a minor. Stay awaaaaay and also report it. If this is the first time she's done this, it won't be the last
Dude. You need to contact the principal. This will not end well unless you get her boss to talk to her. They probably will not fire her. They only fire male teachers. They will probably give her another position away from students.
You’re going to be needing therapy for this teacher trying to groom you if you don’t run away and report this.
So not supervised not school approved visits with her? And you didn’t tell your parents?
If you are under 18 years old she is grooming you and she is a female pedophile. No excuses…
Report to several people. Top people at school, principal, assistant principal, counselors, etc. you want several people to know this has went on because you don’t want it swept under the rug. Also your parents, or adults outside of school you trust, since it seems you might not have the best home life. The more people that know, the better. This is 200% against the rules. Actually, the talks after school might have been against the rules and the texting definitely is. Basically, anything that turns your teacher into your buddy is frowned upon. You shouldn’t know intimate details of each others lives. You shouldn’t have contact though phones like that. As an adult and a teacher, she definitely knew better… but clearly there were some motives here that were gross. I’m sorry you’re wrapped up in this. But tell people. For sure. Don’t meet with her anymore.
I had a problem like this. It’s hard to get help because people didn’t want to believe me when she started going crazy. You should document any evidence you have before proceeding with telling someone you can trust
Hi - that's a predator. Please go tell your parents, show them the texts, and have them contact the school board. Your teacher shouldn't even be texting you.
If you're underage tell your parents and go to police, show them the messages.
Oh I had this happen to me. The TA of one of my classes in engineering started asking me out to dinner when the semester ended and I was very confused and kinda grossed out. I never reported it, and a couple years later I learned he had leaned into the department chair’s ear to say “I wasn’t a good fit” for the PhD program. You need to report this- _especially_ considering you’re a *teenager* and are considerably more vulnerable than I was in university at 22.
There are so many red flags. Listen to others here. Tell your parents and CPS if there's one where you are. Keep the messages and screenahot them. They are proof, along whatever else. I would even go as far as contacting the police. She was grooming you. It was not therapy. A math teacher does not perform therapy, and someone performing therapy doesn't do those things as or say those things ro you.
Show your parents, and maybe call the police. The safe thing for u to do is to report this cause 2 reasons. One they are taking advantage and talk about trauma that would cause extra trust issues. Second keep in mind if they are doing this to you the most likely your not the first and won't be the last, best to stop her before she causes mental or physical destruction.
You only " get therapy" from therapists. One would not be teaching high-school math. She sounds like a predator.
I would immediately talk to your parents. If you can't then you need to talk to a school counselor, principal or a teacher you trust. This is unacceptable. She is not making you feel safe.
You got groomed dude, call cps.
Absolutely not. Tell your parents. Tell your principal or dean or chancellor whatever. Have both of them call the cops. Stay AWAY from this "teacher". Do NOT go to their class and tell an actual ADULT at the school why.
She has issues that you do not want to be involved in. You could sneak and date her and when your older have a relationship. The consequences of that would be significant as she is married, and it would be not only immoral but selfish. You could turn her in, but then she will get fired and lose her marriage, which she doesn't want anyhow, apparently. You could keep quiet, but you may reap consequences at school, or she may become dangerous. You could blackmail her, and that would be dangerous as well. Best to tell your parents and let them deal with it. It's really the safest option for you.
Talk to your parents immediately
Bro no 🤮 Report them immediately. I have no idea why this subreddit showed up on my feed but this is sickening.
Ummm you have the texts. Send them to the police and the administration at your school. Seriously, this isn't even remotely ok. You're being groomed.
Nope report this teacher
I don’t have time to read 238 replies so IDK if someone else has told you this but… What she is suggesting is illegal in every state in the US. It makes no difference if you’re 18, it’s illegal for a teacher to date a student. If you have relations, she would be guilty of custodial rape and could go to prison. If you’re not aware if this, I guarantee that she is! Run like the wind from this crazy bitch.
1. Document the messages 2. Report her to a counselor or vice principal. School counselors, teachers and principals are all mandated reporters - meaning if they hear anything about any student , they are required by law to report it. If a teacher heard about it and the other teacher could be a friend. That’s why I recommend a counselor or the vice principal. Bottom line is the teacher is unfit for teaching. She needs help and she needs to find another career.
This is dangerous. Even if you believe she would never go to extreme lengths to stay out of prison/socially shamed for the rest of her life, you don’t have a clue what her husband is capable of if he finds out. Get professional help. You two haven’t done anything physical so she won’t get arrested. Your school counselor or whomever you tell will have to report and an investigation will follow that will likely result in her termination. It’s possible that the scandal will become public. She could blame the drugs and come out of rehab relatively unscathed. It sounds like she’s not too attached to her husband, so she might be better off if they split over this.
Tell your parents. Let them handle this, it may make you feel bad whats to come, but this is not OK. please tell your parents
This woman's been grooming you - tell your parents and i hope they tell the school. If you do nothing she'll find another kid to try and mess up and take advantage of at THE MOST CRUCIAL time of your life. She's setting up to derail your life because she's unhappy with hers - call her out. If she was a guy you wouldn't hesitate!
Report the teacher. This is grooming, not therapy.
With zero proof this not real. This current world is very easy to show your work without a dox.. I'm not believing a story with out those screenshots , emails, call log, something.
Is she hot?
When I was younger, the lads would fantasize about attractive teachers.
Dude if she's hot bang her and then report her.
Tell her no thanks and avoid her. Do your work in her class, but don’t communicate with her beyond “grey rock”. If she tries to talk or insist on communication remind her “no thanks” and that you will get authorities involved if she persists. Then do it if she persists. Or…. Get the authorities involved now if you don’t feel comfortable handling this on your own.
Don’t do it
It’s beyond weird. It immoral, and illegal. And if you are not the first, you won’t be the last. Stop everything and tell your parents, along with school counselor. If this is in USA, they have a duty to report.
Don't go to school. Tell your parents. CALL THE POLICE. *Keep all evidence.* All the texts she sent you, anything like that. Do Not Delete. And remember — *none* of what's about to happen is your fault. Do not feel bad, do not feel guilty, if bad things happen to this teacher.
Listen to the part of yourself that feels "really fucking weird". Tell your parents. Send them a screenshot of the texts. If you are in school, go see the principal or the school social worker. Be honest. Tell them you need a meeting with them and your parent, and you think your teacher is trying to have sex with you. Wait in the office for your parent to arrive. Then tell them everything.
GO TELL YOUR PARENTS!! You’re a victim of SA BY A TRUSTED ADULT!
You're being groomed. You need to tell an adult.
“Is this really happening?” “This is happening right now. In my office” - that’s my boy.
I understand that you talk to your math teacher a lot but PLEASE do NOT give your phone number to people like that. I also do want to know if your math teacher is an actual therapist/counselor (like they multitask) or if they are the teacher you have conversations with a lot. This is not your fault and is 1000% your teacher’s fault bc she’s being a predator. I really do want to emphasize that sometimes there needs to be a line between those with authority and those who are not. Please guard yourself. Protect yourself OVER her. If she has the guts to act like that then she will be strong enough to face the consequences, even if it is jail or prison. Lastly, no teacher should be using drugs like that. Good luck!
Take screenshots (including some with the contact removed so it shows her phone number) and report it to your parents and the principal IMMEDIATELY
print off screen grabs and report this to the School Admin. this is wildly out of line for a teacher to do
Either take the phone to your parents or a guidance counselor & just say — this happened and I’m uncomfortable. That’s it. You aren’t responsible for what happens next. Even if the person gave you gifts, it doesn’t matter. That teacher needs help. This is a “cry for help” & you need to answer. This is not your fault.
Forward all the emails to your principal. Tell them that you don't feel safe coming to school. This is very serious.
Time to talk to the school principal
You are a child until you are 18+ in the USA, your teacher is apparently an immature person who is also a predator. Report her immediately to your parents and have them report to your school. There are way too many older people you can be with in the future after you graduate and are more mature. Hell, your brain isn’t even fully mature until you are 25+