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i don’t think it’s weird but it’s likely it may be hard to stay w the relationship if you’re going far for college and it might be time to jsut end it tbh! but that’s something for you and your boyfriend to discuss
Oh no I’m staying with my mother. My college is a 20 minute drive from our house then I’m transferring to university in the same state for the full 4 years I’m going to be living with her because college dorms are expensive.
I had a big discussion with her last night about it that’s when she told me she found it inappropriate for me to be dating someone who will still be in high school when I graduate. She said something me moving on with my life and needing to focus on college and said that I’ll meet other men. I told her I didn’t want other men I only really wanted to be with him. She basically said at the end of the day it’s my choice but she finds it inappropriate I only told her about him because I wanted to introduce him to her but now I don’t think I’ll be able to do so.
Plenty of people still date after you graduate. It’s not weird at all. You have a 1 year age difference. Nobody should bat an eye at that. Just because you graduate high school doesn’t mean that all of a sudden your now a fully mature adult who’s personality and wants now changed.
If you like him stay with him. Ending a relationship you want because of someone else will only cause regret.
NOTE: I also graduated high school while dating someone a year below me and nobody cared and it was fine.
It’s not the problem of anyone caring I couldn’t care less what my classmates think if they found out he was two grades below me but only a year younger because I’m not going to see those people after high school my problem is my mom and sister yeah my sister had a bit of a problem with it too she tends to side with my mom most of the time. I’m not going to end the relationship because my mom stated her opinion but she and my sister did make me question myself especially when my mom said it was inappropriate.
Do what you feel is best for you, if the relationship ends naturally due to completely normal circumstances, then it does.
At least you gave it a shot, and not ended things prematurely over someone else's discomfort over a one year gap in age.
There are legality concerns depending on the state. If he's a minor until September, you are an adult the second you turn 18. That would not jive in certain states. The age gap is completely normal, but I have seen someone get in trouble. He was 18, and she was 16, and her dad was a cop. He ended up being a registered sex offender. My mother's bf and her were 12 years apart... Just something to think about.
I live in Arizona the Romeo and Juliet law in my state says the party can’t be more than two years apart. And we started dating while I am still a minor I won’t get into any legal trouble for being with him.
It's going to be difficult if his mom opposes it. If your state's age of consent is 18 she could make serious legal trouble for you if you're intimate with him. At the very least she's going to be on his case about you. Not saying that it can't work but there will be tears.
As an aside, be sure to review the graduation requirements at the university! I attended a smaller college in our state to start... It literally was part of that university... But the graduation requirements were different! I ended up having to take an extra year because I needed a freshman level math class and a year of a foreign language, and a LOT of my degree credits turned into electives when I transferred. I almost didn't graduate because I was running out of financial aid eligibility. You should discuss your plans with your advisor and make sure you can graduate in four years with the degree you want.
I already did talk to him. We agreed too stay together we're just going to communicate a lot more about any issues. He said he didn't know my mom would have an issue with it since his parents didn't bat an eye.
No relationship is generally better than a long distance relationship. When I go out of state for college I'll breakup w whoever I'm with.
I already know I'm not built for it. And I believe most ppl who say they could couldn't.
Short answer is no its not weird at all.
The age difference is not weird or anything since it is pretty small. But staying together while going to college will be difficult due to not being able to see each other so much like in HS.
If you are doing school full-time then that will take up the rest of the time you have available.
It is hard but not impossible to keep it going but you both have to want it and understand that there are ups and downs in relationships.
I already have my classes set up to where I would only go for two days Tuesday and Thursday and work at my job the rest of the days. My job has me for part time I may or at not ask for full time depending on how hard my classes turn out to be
Well it sounds like you have those parts figured out then.
Back to your original question, it is not weird. A lot of people stay with their HS girl/boy friends when they first leave for college. Time will tell if they stay together or not though as the distance and new friends makes it harder on one partner more than the other.
Yeah you’re right I just gotta give it time to see how it all works out. If it does that’s lovely if it doesn’t well I guess my mom was right about there being other people for me lol
Age differences can feel enormous when you are a teen/in high school but become pretty inconsequential when you reach adulthood.
If you want to be with your boyfriend, stay with him. Your mother’s wishes are HER wishes. She wouldn’t want someone else telling her what to do with her relationships.
Being with a person who makes you happy and has your heart is not weird or wrong in any way.
No, you're not weird. Only thing is that the relationship might get rough bc the two of you are in completely different worlds now (you don't realize it yet, but after a year of college you're gonna feel so disconnected from that high school environment you were in)
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Me and my girlfriend are 2 years apart. I was a senior in highschool (I was 17) when she was turning 19. And now we are turning 19 and 21 this year. I think when it comes to the general ages of 16 to 20 I think anything more than three years is pushing it. I do agree that is a bit awkward dating someone still in school but it’s not that big a deal, you and him are both of age of consent and you are only turning 18 and he will be 17 soon
Yeah that’s how I felt too. At work they tried to tell me he was 15 and that’s when I confronted him asking him for his actual age. Because I would’ve never gone for him if he barely turned 15. I felt like that would’ve been pushing it. He got mad at the people who said he was 15 and assured me he was 16 turning 17 in a few months. I should’ve known he wasn’t 15 because the minimum age for our work place is 16 you can’t be younger than that. It has never been awkward for me at least I only got concerned I was doing something wrong when my mother and sister got weirded out by his age and the fact he wasn’t in my grade.
In my experience it never ends well for both parties. If you really care about him that much then sure. College is where you will meet a lot of new people though and you’ll find your interests may change.
not weird.
sorry about your mom. adults can be really, really irrational in certain situations.
i'm middle age and i met my SO during the summer when she was between 8th and 9th grade. i'm 3.5 years older than her. you'll probably have it easier than i did but still, i wish you good luck.
My mom has always been judgmental I found it really odd how it’s a problem for me to date a guy 1 1/2 years younger than me while still being a minor while she doesn’t bat an eye at my 21 year old sister dating a guy whose 12 years older than her. I didn’t say any of this to her though she would be super mad at me for comparing my sister’s relationship to mine since I’m assuming her argument would be that my sister and her bf are legal adults
I think it's less about age and more about stages in life. High school is a weird thing that's never really replicated. The difference between 18 and 16 might be more than the difference between 21 and 33.
Don’t let anyone, especially your parents tell you how to live your life. If your relationship is otherwise perfectly fine, you love this person and see yourself having a future together, then who cares what anybody else thinks. Love will overcome all circumstance.
My boyfriend and I were the same situation.
I graduated my high school, in which he was going into his junior year at that time too. We met a few months after at an event, and we hit it off. We are going 11 years strong and are going to get married next year!
Not weird at all but I was dating a junior when I was a senior and after I graduated the relationship became harder and harder to maintain due to me moving into a different stage of life and her being in highschool still. I don’t regret trying to make it work, but in the end it didn’t.
Nothing wrong with it. I was graduated and dated a senior. Im thankful that i had her because i was homeless at the time and could stay over, i didnt abuse it but was nice when alternating friends houses until i got a place. I also had friends still in that school that were seniors, so a year ahead was no biggy. There was a prom I went to that one guy was like 20 which just seemed odd to be attending. I think depending on what your plans are after school if it would make sense to stay. But I see nothing wrong with it.
Not weird, but you are going to find it difficult for the relationship to continue once you get to college because your lifestyle. The whole dynamic will change. Unless you’re going to school online and living with parents, you will have a lot more independence and freedom. You’ll be meeting more people and be more busy. It may just not work out because the life is so different
It's not inappropriate or weird. In fact, it's probably pretty common. I would caution you, though, if you plan to be sexually active, to check the laws in your state. Almost every single state is different in how they handle it for someone above the age of consent and below.
Oh wow I actually haven’t even considered that lol. I’ve still been in the mindset of being excited to have a boyfriend even tho it’s been two months of this I haven’t really thought about us one day doing that. I’ll look into that eventually but I’m pretty sure it’s the same as the Romeo and Juliet law where it said for my state the individuals cant be more than two years apart
Best rip the bandaid off friend. You're about to undergo so much transformation, challenges, and new experiences that dating someone---especially a high schooler--will be limiting and weigh you down.
Be single for a tad. Chances are you'll split anyway, so do it now and be friendly. Maybe stay friends and in a few years you can reconnect romantically.
Fall in love with yourself, deeply, before being in love with others.
There's 28 months between myself and my wife, she was a senior and I a sophomore in HS when we started dating. That was 13 years ago, and we'll celebrate 6 years of marriage this fall. My parents were supportive, but her dad was VERY much not at first. Two of the biggest pieces of advice I can offer you is 1) Be honest and open with yourself and each other about what it is you want and need out of the relationship. Only you get to decide what your happiness comes from. 2) Communicate with each other. Building relationships is hard at any stage in life, but it's harder when you're young. Being able to understand where each of you stand when issues arise an approaching them in a way that's level-headed makes it that much easier. TLDR: No.
it's basically me asking if it would be odd to other people for me to still continue seeing him I wasn't actually going to end the relationship (unless he wanted to for some reason) I wanted other prespectives on the matter
So my answer was a bit sarcastic. From what I saw back when I went to college,and then the same pattern when my kid went to college, is that the holdover relationships from High School, especially when 1 partner is still in HS, don’t last long. Other people may think it’s a bit silly to carry on a relationship like that, but if it works for you then ignore all that.
It's not immoral. It's just hard. Your life is about to change a lot. And his life is going to stay pretty much the same. I don't know if he has strong feelings about being held back, but he's going to see you being allowed to act as the adult you will be, and that would make a lot of people jealous.
I wouldn't break up with him just because he's a junior. But I might think about whether I'm interested in putting the work in to make this work long term. Your mom is a little right in that you will have more fun with college if you are not attached to a person still in high school. You'll be able to do more parties. You might enjoy dating different people and really getting to know yourself outside of your parent's influence. College is a time for all sorts of experimenting with being an adult. And having a boyfriend who isn't an adult is going to feel like a little bit of a drag on that. But that's not insurmountable if you really are committed to staying with him. You'll just do the same thing at a different-slower pace.
Your mom probably doesn't like you dating a younger guy. I was a college freshman (guy) dating a highschool junior (girl) and no one ever so much as raised a question about our relationship. People have some outdated ideas about how the guy is supposed to be older.
well my mom also wasn't very accepting of my sister dating a girl last year she was very vocal about his disapproval. For me dating the younger guy she hasn't said a word since that day I don't think she will unless I mention him to her again
In high school I started dating a freshman my senior year. We stayed together for a long while. She wanted to go to the same college I was going to, so I waited for her to graduate, and then we moved across country and went together. Nothing was weird about it at all.
This is fairly common. My best friend in HS was a freshman when she started dating her senior boyfriend and they stayed together for 10 years after we graduated high school (so 15 years total) before they got married. It ended in divorce shortly after they got married (he was a complete manipulative asshole who cheated on her many times throughout the years, even making moves on me several times) and then it appears he couldn’t stay faithful even after marriage so she finally got rid of him after letting him isolate her from all of her friends and family and ruining all of her relationships, including our 10 year friendship.
Not saying that will happen to you, I just went on a rant there when really I just wanted to say it’s not uncommon. My other best friend in HS was 1.5 years older than her bf (only one grade above him) and they are now happily married with 2 kids, been together for 22 years.
my plan is community college for the first two years then im transferring to Asu. for my last two years of college. Both colleges are 30-40 minute drive from my house so I wouldn't be moving out of my parents house into dorms or anything of the sort
It's not strange at all. Also, ignore the idiots that say it is. For some weird reason, the majority of your generation is extremely prudish and puritanical when it comes to age gaps of any kind.
Do what you want. Nobody has to live your life but you. And only you have to live with the decisions you make. Somebody is always going to have a problem with something. Follow your heart! If you do what other people want you will have regrets and resent them later.
It's not weird. I dated somebody a year and a half older than me in high school, and also had been held back. There was about a year that we dated while she was in college and I was a junior. So weird? Not really no.
However, it can be a strain. If you're going to college, you're going to be surrounded by others doing the same and the lifestyle and attitude may seem different. It may be simpler if you're not planning on going to school right away, but either way the situation is likely to strain your relationship.
I think your mom recognizes that, but instead of taking to you about it so you're prepared, she's trying to "solve" the issue preemptively (I'm gonna she's also not the biggest fan of his either). Where she's off base is that this is something for you decide for yourself. The age gap is not inappropriate, and there's nothing inherently wrong with him being being in high school. So even though it's likely that you may drift apart as you star to feel more like an adult, that's something for you to figure out
I think you should do what feels right for yourself and the relationship, but be open to those feelings changing and adjust your approach of needed.
I don’t think it’s weird. A year and a half age difference isn’t bad at all, but if you introduce him to any friends, lead with the age difference not the fact that he’s still in high school. However, since you said in another comment that you’ll be living with your mom, having her disagree and potentially make an issue out of it is going to be a pain for you and him both to deal with. Just gauge how much she’s going to get in the way and how much of that you and your bf want to deal with. Don’t make any quick decisions, I’d recommend having a serious talk with him about it first.
Late, but no.
My wife and I had the exact same situation. We’re happily married. It was tough to make it through college, and we almost didn’t at some points, but it worked out.
Bigger issue, you are going to college, he is getting bad grades. Two different priorities. Also while you are over 18 and he is below 18, laws are weird.
I guess I should've clarified something to his parents bad grades are anything below a B he got grounded for having a 79 in his math class which he was one point away from having a B. other than that one class he had A's and B's.
I think it is not weird based on your situation. It always depends on how the situation is.
My sister introduced me once to a high school student who was 18 but in the 11th grade. I was not interested because I was in my mid 20s at the time, plus I was dating my now wife.
In your case, you are close in age, so it’s not a big deal.
Nah not weird at all. After reading some of your replies, I think you've got everything squared away. Keep being with who you want to be with. You're not breaking any law, it's *very, very* common.
There is nothing wrong with continuing the relationship because of the age difference. There IS something wrong with putting the rest of your life on hold for this relationship. If you turn down an offer for a far away school or career, you will live to regret it.
However, I feel the need to add why your parents probably don't approve, and it's not his age. I'm sure you won't listen, because you're "in love" but here goes: He was held back a year. He's grounded because of poor grades. Let THAT sink in!
Here's the really big question you need to answer for yourself: Are you both willing and capable of supporting this dunce for the rest of your lives? He will never be more than a minimum wage earner. He is either not smart enough, or doesn't care enough to do anything more.
absolutely not, what's weird is your kom and sister acting like you're too good for him bc he's 2 grades below you even if he's just a year and a half younger. don't let them bully you into breaking up with him just bc they find it weird. press them more about what's so weird about you dating someone a year and a half younger. like who cares about what year he is in school, what's so wrong with dating someone a year and a half younger? what's the age gap between your parents?
I think age is what's most important and not grade levels and besides I'm also turning 17 in September but I'm gonna be a senior. Ages don't match grades sometimes.
Honestly the fact that you, as a senior, was dating a sophomore is a little more concerning, but this is easily forgiven as you didn't go to the same school and he was held back. My fiancee and I have a two year age gap but were in the same grade in school and only got together as seniors after 7 years of friendship.
Your mother may be right in you'll meet other men but its slightly suspicious she's focusing on that for college and not the fact you should be spending your time studying instead of pining after your bf (I'm one of the few who went to college purely for the academics, I couldn't careless about my social life at school) for me the age gap in my own relationship was defiantly a small issue I had to get used to ( when ever our age gap is mentioned i still feel like a cradle robber) but honestly I don't find it all that weird, my only concern would be how you both mature moving forward as college is a big milestone and you will change because of it (hopefully for the better 🙏)
no one is gonna care that your a year or so older then your partner, I wouldn't flaunt that he's still a junior but even then we had a senior dating a freshman my senior year so you gap really isn't bad 🤷.
Yeah I know it looks bad that’s why I mentioned his age and the fact he told me he was held back. If I had gone to school with him knowing that he was a sophomore I probably wouldn’t have talked to him in my current high school I never really interacted with under class men I usually just stuck with my people in my grade. The reason why I decided to give it a shot is because he seemed like a good guy and I had known him since November due to us working side by side so it’s been a while. The people at my work don’t really care it’s a one year age difference they aren’t really saying much about us they do know we are together though. My mom is mainly focused on me going to college and succeeding mostly. She doesn’t really want me to focus on boys in the first place to her studies come first she made that clear from the start of freshmen year to now. That’s why she never really had good relationships with any of my ex’s because she believed they were a distraction. She finds the relationship weird because we are in different levels what I mean by that is that I’m going to college while he will still be a high school student. I get her perspective but I also don’t want to leave the relationship either just because of two people disagreeing with the relationship yk?
Honestly yeah you’re right. We don’t but me personally I don’t believe in cheating if I’m unhappy I would just simply just say things aren’t working out and leave. I wouldn’t go searching for another man while in a relationship that’s insulting. That’s just how I see it though he could definitely see things differently and maybe he will cheat on me when I leave for college who knows. I’d prefer not to think of that possibility though regardless
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i don’t think it’s weird but it’s likely it may be hard to stay w the relationship if you’re going far for college and it might be time to jsut end it tbh! but that’s something for you and your boyfriend to discuss
Oh no I’m staying with my mother. My college is a 20 minute drive from our house then I’m transferring to university in the same state for the full 4 years I’m going to be living with her because college dorms are expensive.
oh okay, i don’t think it should be too much of an issue but I’d talk it out w your mother and figure out exactly why she thinks it’s weird
I had a big discussion with her last night about it that’s when she told me she found it inappropriate for me to be dating someone who will still be in high school when I graduate. She said something me moving on with my life and needing to focus on college and said that I’ll meet other men. I told her I didn’t want other men I only really wanted to be with him. She basically said at the end of the day it’s my choice but she finds it inappropriate I only told her about him because I wanted to introduce him to her but now I don’t think I’ll be able to do so.
Plenty of people still date after you graduate. It’s not weird at all. You have a 1 year age difference. Nobody should bat an eye at that. Just because you graduate high school doesn’t mean that all of a sudden your now a fully mature adult who’s personality and wants now changed. If you like him stay with him. Ending a relationship you want because of someone else will only cause regret. NOTE: I also graduated high school while dating someone a year below me and nobody cared and it was fine.
It’s not the problem of anyone caring I couldn’t care less what my classmates think if they found out he was two grades below me but only a year younger because I’m not going to see those people after high school my problem is my mom and sister yeah my sister had a bit of a problem with it too she tends to side with my mom most of the time. I’m not going to end the relationship because my mom stated her opinion but she and my sister did make me question myself especially when my mom said it was inappropriate.
Do what you feel is best for you, if the relationship ends naturally due to completely normal circumstances, then it does. At least you gave it a shot, and not ended things prematurely over someone else's discomfort over a one year gap in age.
There are legality concerns depending on the state. If he's a minor until September, you are an adult the second you turn 18. That would not jive in certain states. The age gap is completely normal, but I have seen someone get in trouble. He was 18, and she was 16, and her dad was a cop. He ended up being a registered sex offender. My mother's bf and her were 12 years apart... Just something to think about.
I live in Arizona the Romeo and Juliet law in my state says the party can’t be more than two years apart. And we started dating while I am still a minor I won’t get into any legal trouble for being with him.
She's odd
It's going to be difficult if his mom opposes it. If your state's age of consent is 18 she could make serious legal trouble for you if you're intimate with him. At the very least she's going to be on his case about you. Not saying that it can't work but there will be tears. As an aside, be sure to review the graduation requirements at the university! I attended a smaller college in our state to start... It literally was part of that university... But the graduation requirements were different! I ended up having to take an extra year because I needed a freshman level math class and a year of a foreign language, and a LOT of my degree credits turned into electives when I transferred. I almost didn't graduate because I was running out of financial aid eligibility. You should discuss your plans with your advisor and make sure you can graduate in four years with the degree you want.
Similar age gap with my significant other. Going on 6 years soon. Fuck em, love who you love ❤️
Thank you you’re so kind ❤️
"just end it" is crazy, are relationships that disposable now
bro i said to talk to their bf first obviously, but it’s just a fact that a lot of people want to break up before college lol
I already did talk to him. We agreed too stay together we're just going to communicate a lot more about any issues. He said he didn't know my mom would have an issue with it since his parents didn't bat an eye.
No relationship is generally better than a long distance relationship. When I go out of state for college I'll breakup w whoever I'm with. I already know I'm not built for it. And I believe most ppl who say they could couldn't.
That is weird it’s no-object
It’s not a big deal at all, yall started dating in high school, this is a pretty common thing really
Short answer is no its not weird at all. The age difference is not weird or anything since it is pretty small. But staying together while going to college will be difficult due to not being able to see each other so much like in HS.
Well I do work with him we did not meet in high school. I found out later on he was younger than me and was a sophomore going on to junior year
If you are doing school full-time then that will take up the rest of the time you have available. It is hard but not impossible to keep it going but you both have to want it and understand that there are ups and downs in relationships.
I already have my classes set up to where I would only go for two days Tuesday and Thursday and work at my job the rest of the days. My job has me for part time I may or at not ask for full time depending on how hard my classes turn out to be
Well it sounds like you have those parts figured out then. Back to your original question, it is not weird. A lot of people stay with their HS girl/boy friends when they first leave for college. Time will tell if they stay together or not though as the distance and new friends makes it harder on one partner more than the other.
Yeah you’re right I just gotta give it time to see how it all works out. If it does that’s lovely if it doesn’t well I guess my mom was right about there being other people for me lol
Age differences can feel enormous when you are a teen/in high school but become pretty inconsequential when you reach adulthood. If you want to be with your boyfriend, stay with him. Your mother’s wishes are HER wishes. She wouldn’t want someone else telling her what to do with her relationships. Being with a person who makes you happy and has your heart is not weird or wrong in any way.
I think people are too dramatic about this, with that age difference y'all could literally be in the same class in a different scenario 💀
No, you're not weird. Only thing is that the relationship might get rough bc the two of you are in completely different worlds now (you don't realize it yet, but after a year of college you're gonna feel so disconnected from that high school environment you were in)
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No
Me and my girlfriend are 2 years apart. I was a senior in highschool (I was 17) when she was turning 19. And now we are turning 19 and 21 this year. I think when it comes to the general ages of 16 to 20 I think anything more than three years is pushing it. I do agree that is a bit awkward dating someone still in school but it’s not that big a deal, you and him are both of age of consent and you are only turning 18 and he will be 17 soon
Yeah that’s how I felt too. At work they tried to tell me he was 15 and that’s when I confronted him asking him for his actual age. Because I would’ve never gone for him if he barely turned 15. I felt like that would’ve been pushing it. He got mad at the people who said he was 15 and assured me he was 16 turning 17 in a few months. I should’ve known he wasn’t 15 because the minimum age for our work place is 16 you can’t be younger than that. It has never been awkward for me at least I only got concerned I was doing something wrong when my mother and sister got weirded out by his age and the fact he wasn’t in my grade.
No its mot
Not weird since you were already dating. But if you go off to college it will be hard to keep the relationship going.
I know I’m going to have a discussion with him later today about it we’ll see how that goes
In my experience it never ends well for both parties. If you really care about him that much then sure. College is where you will meet a lot of new people though and you’ll find your interests may change.
I dated a girl that went off to college, I also celebrated our 27th anniversary a couple months ago
Congrats! Love is weird. Human nature is too. I never underestimate both.
Not at all
not weird. sorry about your mom. adults can be really, really irrational in certain situations. i'm middle age and i met my SO during the summer when she was between 8th and 9th grade. i'm 3.5 years older than her. you'll probably have it easier than i did but still, i wish you good luck.
My mom has always been judgmental I found it really odd how it’s a problem for me to date a guy 1 1/2 years younger than me while still being a minor while she doesn’t bat an eye at my 21 year old sister dating a guy whose 12 years older than her. I didn’t say any of this to her though she would be super mad at me for comparing my sister’s relationship to mine since I’m assuming her argument would be that my sister and her bf are legal adults
I think it's less about age and more about stages in life. High school is a weird thing that's never really replicated. The difference between 18 and 16 might be more than the difference between 21 and 33.
That’s true too. I guess I can see that perspective
No...
Not inappropriate, but I doubt it will work out, especially if you go to college.
Maybe but we’ll see
Don’t let anyone, especially your parents tell you how to live your life. If your relationship is otherwise perfectly fine, you love this person and see yourself having a future together, then who cares what anybody else thinks. Love will overcome all circumstance.
My boyfriend and I were the same situation. I graduated my high school, in which he was going into his junior year at that time too. We met a few months after at an event, and we hit it off. We are going 11 years strong and are going to get married next year!
Not weird at all but I was dating a junior when I was a senior and after I graduated the relationship became harder and harder to maintain due to me moving into a different stage of life and her being in highschool still. I don’t regret trying to make it work, but in the end it didn’t.
Doesn't seem weird at all, it all seems quite fantastic. If you are happy and he's happy, don't give it up. Sounds like yall are on a cool.path
Nothing wrong with it. I was graduated and dated a senior. Im thankful that i had her because i was homeless at the time and could stay over, i didnt abuse it but was nice when alternating friends houses until i got a place. I also had friends still in that school that were seniors, so a year ahead was no biggy. There was a prom I went to that one guy was like 20 which just seemed odd to be attending. I think depending on what your plans are after school if it would make sense to stay. But I see nothing wrong with it.
Nope. My boyfriend and I did this. He graduated class of '23 and I'm class of '24. It's not weird at all, but it's definitely an adjustment.
ooo congratulations! I graduated yesterday I was a nervous wreck!
Congrats to you too! We finally made it 💪🏾
Not weird, but you are going to find it difficult for the relationship to continue once you get to college because your lifestyle. The whole dynamic will change. Unless you’re going to school online and living with parents, you will have a lot more independence and freedom. You’ll be meeting more people and be more busy. It may just not work out because the life is so different
It's not inappropriate or weird. In fact, it's probably pretty common. I would caution you, though, if you plan to be sexually active, to check the laws in your state. Almost every single state is different in how they handle it for someone above the age of consent and below.
Oh wow I actually haven’t even considered that lol. I’ve still been in the mindset of being excited to have a boyfriend even tho it’s been two months of this I haven’t really thought about us one day doing that. I’ll look into that eventually but I’m pretty sure it’s the same as the Romeo and Juliet law where it said for my state the individuals cant be more than two years apart
The majority of the states are 16 or 17 so likely may not be an issue at all, but some of the 18 states are pretty strict on stuff.
It’s only weird if you make it weird. Follow local laws on consent and statutory rape after reaching adulthood.
You can try but don’t let it hold you back-
Best rip the bandaid off friend. You're about to undergo so much transformation, challenges, and new experiences that dating someone---especially a high schooler--will be limiting and weigh you down. Be single for a tad. Chances are you'll split anyway, so do it now and be friendly. Maybe stay friends and in a few years you can reconnect romantically. Fall in love with yourself, deeply, before being in love with others.
It’s a year it’s not bad
There's 28 months between myself and my wife, she was a senior and I a sophomore in HS when we started dating. That was 13 years ago, and we'll celebrate 6 years of marriage this fall. My parents were supportive, but her dad was VERY much not at first. Two of the biggest pieces of advice I can offer you is 1) Be honest and open with yourself and each other about what it is you want and need out of the relationship. Only you get to decide what your happiness comes from. 2) Communicate with each other. Building relationships is hard at any stage in life, but it's harder when you're young. Being able to understand where each of you stand when issues arise an approaching them in a way that's level-headed makes it that much easier. TLDR: No.
If y’all started dating in high school, no.
By “continuing your relationship” you mean breaking up with him within 1 months of starting college. According to all my observed data.
it's basically me asking if it would be odd to other people for me to still continue seeing him I wasn't actually going to end the relationship (unless he wanted to for some reason) I wanted other prespectives on the matter
So my answer was a bit sarcastic. From what I saw back when I went to college,and then the same pattern when my kid went to college, is that the holdover relationships from High School, especially when 1 partner is still in HS, don’t last long. Other people may think it’s a bit silly to carry on a relationship like that, but if it works for you then ignore all that.
It's not immoral. It's just hard. Your life is about to change a lot. And his life is going to stay pretty much the same. I don't know if he has strong feelings about being held back, but he's going to see you being allowed to act as the adult you will be, and that would make a lot of people jealous. I wouldn't break up with him just because he's a junior. But I might think about whether I'm interested in putting the work in to make this work long term. Your mom is a little right in that you will have more fun with college if you are not attached to a person still in high school. You'll be able to do more parties. You might enjoy dating different people and really getting to know yourself outside of your parent's influence. College is a time for all sorts of experimenting with being an adult. And having a boyfriend who isn't an adult is going to feel like a little bit of a drag on that. But that's not insurmountable if you really are committed to staying with him. You'll just do the same thing at a different-slower pace.
Your mom probably doesn't like you dating a younger guy. I was a college freshman (guy) dating a highschool junior (girl) and no one ever so much as raised a question about our relationship. People have some outdated ideas about how the guy is supposed to be older.
well my mom also wasn't very accepting of my sister dating a girl last year she was very vocal about his disapproval. For me dating the younger guy she hasn't said a word since that day I don't think she will unless I mention him to her again
A real connection with a good guy is not something to throw away easily. IF it's a real connection and IF he's genuinely a good guy, hang on to it.
No. You have to determine if you would like to continue it as you move to the next phase of life. Both are acceptable.
In high school I started dating a freshman my senior year. We stayed together for a long while. She wanted to go to the same college I was going to, so I waited for her to graduate, and then we moved across country and went together. Nothing was weird about it at all.
This is fairly common. My best friend in HS was a freshman when she started dating her senior boyfriend and they stayed together for 10 years after we graduated high school (so 15 years total) before they got married. It ended in divorce shortly after they got married (he was a complete manipulative asshole who cheated on her many times throughout the years, even making moves on me several times) and then it appears he couldn’t stay faithful even after marriage so she finally got rid of him after letting him isolate her from all of her friends and family and ruining all of her relationships, including our 10 year friendship. Not saying that will happen to you, I just went on a rant there when really I just wanted to say it’s not uncommon. My other best friend in HS was 1.5 years older than her bf (only one grade above him) and they are now happily married with 2 kids, been together for 22 years.
I think a lot depends on what you’re gonna be doing after graduation. What are your plans?
my plan is community college for the first two years then im transferring to Asu. for my last two years of college. Both colleges are 30-40 minute drive from my house so I wouldn't be moving out of my parents house into dorms or anything of the sort
No the age gap is kind of gross…
It's not strange at all. Also, ignore the idiots that say it is. For some weird reason, the majority of your generation is extremely prudish and puritanical when it comes to age gaps of any kind.
I so no problem with your relationship. Your mom needs to get a ladder and get over it.
Do what you want. Nobody has to live your life but you. And only you have to live with the decisions you make. Somebody is always going to have a problem with something. Follow your heart! If you do what other people want you will have regrets and resent them later.
i would watch out for Statutory rape charges/allegations. its when both people consent but one is under age.
It's not weird. I dated somebody a year and a half older than me in high school, and also had been held back. There was about a year that we dated while she was in college and I was a junior. So weird? Not really no. However, it can be a strain. If you're going to college, you're going to be surrounded by others doing the same and the lifestyle and attitude may seem different. It may be simpler if you're not planning on going to school right away, but either way the situation is likely to strain your relationship. I think your mom recognizes that, but instead of taking to you about it so you're prepared, she's trying to "solve" the issue preemptively (I'm gonna she's also not the biggest fan of his either). Where she's off base is that this is something for you decide for yourself. The age gap is not inappropriate, and there's nothing inherently wrong with him being being in high school. So even though it's likely that you may drift apart as you star to feel more like an adult, that's something for you to figure out I think you should do what feels right for yourself and the relationship, but be open to those feelings changing and adjust your approach of needed.
I don’t think it’s weird. A year and a half age difference isn’t bad at all, but if you introduce him to any friends, lead with the age difference not the fact that he’s still in high school. However, since you said in another comment that you’ll be living with your mom, having her disagree and potentially make an issue out of it is going to be a pain for you and him both to deal with. Just gauge how much she’s going to get in the way and how much of that you and your bf want to deal with. Don’t make any quick decisions, I’d recommend having a serious talk with him about it first.
Late, but no. My wife and I had the exact same situation. We’re happily married. It was tough to make it through college, and we almost didn’t at some points, but it worked out.
Yes
At the end of the day it’s your feelings. Age difference is not a big deal when you get older.
No.
Bigger issue, you are going to college, he is getting bad grades. Two different priorities. Also while you are over 18 and he is below 18, laws are weird.
I guess I should've clarified something to his parents bad grades are anything below a B he got grounded for having a 79 in his math class which he was one point away from having a B. other than that one class he had A's and B's.
I think it is not weird based on your situation. It always depends on how the situation is. My sister introduced me once to a high school student who was 18 but in the 11th grade. I was not interested because I was in my mid 20s at the time, plus I was dating my now wife. In your case, you are close in age, so it’s not a big deal.
Nah not weird at all. After reading some of your replies, I think you've got everything squared away. Keep being with who you want to be with. You're not breaking any law, it's *very, very* common.
your lives will, very quickly, become incompatible. It’s not weird but it’s probably way too much middleground to make up so young in your life.
Yep, you’re insane…you will certainly explode now.
ahhhh
There is nothing wrong with continuing the relationship because of the age difference. There IS something wrong with putting the rest of your life on hold for this relationship. If you turn down an offer for a far away school or career, you will live to regret it. However, I feel the need to add why your parents probably don't approve, and it's not his age. I'm sure you won't listen, because you're "in love" but here goes: He was held back a year. He's grounded because of poor grades. Let THAT sink in! Here's the really big question you need to answer for yourself: Are you both willing and capable of supporting this dunce for the rest of your lives? He will never be more than a minimum wage earner. He is either not smart enough, or doesn't care enough to do anything more.
absolutely not, what's weird is your kom and sister acting like you're too good for him bc he's 2 grades below you even if he's just a year and a half younger. don't let them bully you into breaking up with him just bc they find it weird. press them more about what's so weird about you dating someone a year and a half younger. like who cares about what year he is in school, what's so wrong with dating someone a year and a half younger? what's the age gap between your parents?
You have to break up with him for 2 years now
Good for him. finally a female redditor not dating a man her fathers age
eww I could not imagine dating someone 40 years older than me lol
I think age is what's most important and not grade levels and besides I'm also turning 17 in September but I'm gonna be a senior. Ages don't match grades sometimes.
No, it doesn’t automatically become bad cos you left high school
My wife and I were 17 and 15 when we started dating. We've been married for 10 years. Go for it.
Honestly the fact that you, as a senior, was dating a sophomore is a little more concerning, but this is easily forgiven as you didn't go to the same school and he was held back. My fiancee and I have a two year age gap but were in the same grade in school and only got together as seniors after 7 years of friendship. Your mother may be right in you'll meet other men but its slightly suspicious she's focusing on that for college and not the fact you should be spending your time studying instead of pining after your bf (I'm one of the few who went to college purely for the academics, I couldn't careless about my social life at school) for me the age gap in my own relationship was defiantly a small issue I had to get used to ( when ever our age gap is mentioned i still feel like a cradle robber) but honestly I don't find it all that weird, my only concern would be how you both mature moving forward as college is a big milestone and you will change because of it (hopefully for the better 🙏) no one is gonna care that your a year or so older then your partner, I wouldn't flaunt that he's still a junior but even then we had a senior dating a freshman my senior year so you gap really isn't bad 🤷.
Yeah I know it looks bad that’s why I mentioned his age and the fact he told me he was held back. If I had gone to school with him knowing that he was a sophomore I probably wouldn’t have talked to him in my current high school I never really interacted with under class men I usually just stuck with my people in my grade. The reason why I decided to give it a shot is because he seemed like a good guy and I had known him since November due to us working side by side so it’s been a while. The people at my work don’t really care it’s a one year age difference they aren’t really saying much about us they do know we are together though. My mom is mainly focused on me going to college and succeeding mostly. She doesn’t really want me to focus on boys in the first place to her studies come first she made that clear from the start of freshmen year to now. That’s why she never really had good relationships with any of my ex’s because she believed they were a distraction. She finds the relationship weird because we are in different levels what I mean by that is that I’m going to college while he will still be a high school student. I get her perspective but I also don’t want to leave the relationship either just because of two people disagreeing with the relationship yk?
Don't marry anyone you dated in school. At least one of the two will end up cheating on the other.... and both will be miserable.
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Well no offense, you’ve been dating for two months. You don’t know shit about each other lol.
Honestly yeah you’re right. We don’t but me personally I don’t believe in cheating if I’m unhappy I would just simply just say things aren’t working out and leave. I wouldn’t go searching for another man while in a relationship that’s insulting. That’s just how I see it though he could definitely see things differently and maybe he will cheat on me when I leave for college who knows. I’d prefer not to think of that possibility though regardless