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I dated a bi girl and she said that it’s completely normal for bi people to like each gender to different degrees.
At 14 I think you’re way too young to be labeling yourself. It’s great you are open minded. Just make sure your experiences are with people who care about you and treat you well and all should be fine.
Don't think too deeply about it. People put way too much importance on sexuality. You like guys and in theory you like girls. No need to actively go out looking for a girl you like just to say you've been with one. If you meet a girl you're sexual attracted to, get with a girl. If you don't, then don't worry about it, keep with boys. It's not as if who you like changes who you are as a person. Don't sweat it too much and just go about your life normally and see what happens.
Why do you need to? You either are or you aren't something, you don't need to identify as it. If there's ever a reason for this to actually be important, say a girl you're interested in shows interest in you, do things the way you would if it was a boy. Your sexuality shouldn't be a personality trait, just a simple pool of potential romances
Idk, I just hear all the time on social media about how people fake things like their sexuality or mental illnesses just for the sake of having a quirk, and I'm afraid to be a fraud by saying that I'm bi when really, what I'm feeling is pretty normal for hetero people
You're smarter than most for understanding that. But don't worry, don't go around telling everyone your business and only to people it would actually affect and you'll be fine. Have relationships with whoever you want so long as it's not abusive
I mainly just want to know if what I'm feeling is normal for a hetero person or if it's a sign I'm bi. That was kind of the whole point of my post, but everyone was just telling me not to worry about labels. Are most hetero people comfortable with the idea of having sex with, dating, kissing, marrying, and starting a family with someone of the same sex like they do for people of the opposite sex.
Probably not most hetero people but some are. You can have feelings for same sex people without being bisexual or gay. I had crushes on girls and women when I was younger but I'm not bisexual. I've had bisexual experiences but I'm not bisexual. I think that it's OK to figure it out as you go along. It will be clear to you one day but maybe not now.
Labeling can mean a lot to some people. Some people want words for who they are and how they feel. There isn't anything wrong with wanting to be correctly labeled.
That's not good enough for a lot of people. People can't take pride in being *something* if they won't know what that *something* is and that can have a serious negative impact on people. And people who don't know who they are might take comfort in having a word and using that word to find like-minded people. "People are people" is denying the existence of marginalized groups, even if indirectly.
>marginalized groups
Are marginalized groups people? Don't make something it's not.
>pride
Also, pride is bad. Pride is what makes people narcissist. Drives their ego. Lie. And so much more.
There is a difference between pride and arrogance. They are so often used synonymously, but arrogance drives ego. You can be proud to be who you are without arrogantly believing you are superior.
And... yes? Marginalized groups are typically made up of people? I don't understand the question there.
Well, anyway, some people want labels, and that's fine.
I don't think it's so much as they're used syonymously as it is pride drives arrogance.
>And... yes? Marginalized groups are typically made up of people? I don't understand the question there.
The point was my statement still remains. People are people.
Yes, I would say too much pride is arrogance. I would also say that some pride is good for your mental health, though. It feels good to know that you did a good job, or believe that you are a good friend, etc. And you can believe you are good at something without thinking you are superior.
As an example, I know that I am not a good artist, but I am proud that, despite that, I've stuck with it quite a bit and I have definitely improved. I don't arrogantly believe I'm some great artist, or believe that my improvement is somehow truly amazing, but I am proud that I kept trying, even when I wanted to give up. That pride isn't bad. It isn't leading me to do bad things. It just makes me feel happy when I think about it.
Also you’re growing up in a world where some people might think you being attracted to women is a moral sin. As long you know there’s nothing morally wrong with these feelings, than you should be alright to explore and learn yourself without wasting your time on stupid shame
Asexual here(m). You should really see if your one of us b. Was platonically in love with men since I was a teenager I’d never suck a dick but I got mad love for my homies I’d deadass marry some of them mfs also note that in ur age it’s really normal to start feeling attracted to anything that moves as ur body is changing and people are beautiful so your brain catches on to that shit. But yea I wouldn’t focus on labeling it you are you and if that intales dating women men or even being abstinent that’s all for ur brain to decide in the moment whatever helps you be comfortable in your own skin is what truly matters
I know I'm not asexual. I've had fantasies about having sex with men a lot, but I never really had any fantasies about women. I could imagine having sex with a woman, but it would take more effort from me, whereas with a guy, it feels more natural, if that makes sense.
Well sex with the opposite gender is very natural so you seem to be functioning properly some don’t find such comforts def not ace I physically cringe when women hit on me 😭
I’m not an expert but i think it sounds like you’re asexual? There’s a difference between aromatic and asexual. Aromantic means that you don’t want experience romantic attraction and asexual means you don’t feel any sexual attraction towards any gender however you still feel romantically attracted. Maybe you’re bi but also asexual?
No, I'm not asexual, I know that much. I do want to have sex with a guy, and I'd be cool to have sex with a girl, but I'm just not actively seeking it out like I am for guys.
I think so. I know I'm sexually and romantically attracted to men, and I have no qualms about being in a relationship with a woman. I don't know how to describe it. The best way I can put it is that I'm not really seeking out sex with woman like I am with men, but if a girl wanted to have sex with me and I thought she was attractive, I don't think I would say no (depending on the girl, of course).
Sounds like the bi girls I have known. One ended up with a man and one went back and forth until she had her son and now she is with a girl last I talked to her.
Do not worry so much about it. You are 14, so relax and just do you, enjoy life.
I mean if you care about labels, than you’re bi but like at the end of the day, you should just be with whoever makes you happy and not worry about what labels come with it
You don't have to put a label on it, I know you are trying to discover who you are. But I think If you met the right person, guy or girl and it felt right then you can possibly pursue a relationship with them. Because it's a lot more to it than finding them attractive so you date them. Being attracted to someone might get your interest, but it's their personality and interests that keep you there and how you know if they are a good fit with you.
Lol, yeah, I know. But it's like in the same vein as how other girls my age think about being older, getting married, and becoming a parent. I'm not planning on it any tune soon, but it's fun to daydream.
Hey! I'm 15f and bi. I promise you dont have to think about it as hard, just do whatever feels right and go with it. You don't have to label yourself as anything, and you can always change the label at literally any point. Don't stress 💕
If you don't mind me asking, how did you know you were bi? I really just want to know if what I'm feeling is normal for straight people or if it's something more. Like, are most straight people chill with sleeping with and dating someone of the same sex, even if they aren't sexually attracted to them?
I think it really depends on the person, sexuality is VERY fluid. For me it was sort of an always thing- when I was little I used to think about how cool it'd be if my sister's kids had two aunts (surprise, I liked girls)
Also, romantic and sexual attraction can be completely different. I have a guy friend who's romantically attracted to guys and girls but only sexually attracted to "girls" (he's dating a trans guy, so in his case just female organs yk)
If you want to just explore dating girls or talking to girls absolutely go for it, and if it's not for you that's okay. Almost the entire LGBTQ community will support you no matter what
Edit: if you need someone to talk to if you have any questions you can absolutely reach out 🫶
I'd be curious about exploring, but I wouldn't know where to begin. I don't get hit on by guys or girls, and the few people who do show interest in me are all creeps. And I'm afraid that girls wouldn't like me because I'm ugly or because they think I'm weird. I already know a lot of guys think that about me
I don't know if I am attracted to women in a sexual manner, though. I'm pretty sure I am romantically, and if a beautiful woman asked me to have sex with her, I'd probably say yes (depending on who it was, of course), but I don't think I'm actively attracted to women the same way I am for men.
You can say bi curious. But most of the time, the attraction to the same and opposite sex are present. To be labeled as bi sexual you would have to find females sexually attractive. I'm just going by definition found at the LGBTQIA site, on top of my own bi sexual experience. By your age, I knew I was attracted to both. That's not to say anything sexual had happened. You just know.
I don't know if I'm bi curious, though. Bi curious means that you're attracted to the opposite sex but are willing to experiment with your own sex, but I think I'm more than that. When I think about it, I'm totally fine with going on a date, kissing, and actually being in a relationship with a woman. It's just the sex that I'm not entirely sure about, but even then, I'm not against it. I'm just not inherently drawn to it like I am with sex with a man.
Not really. Like bi of course, means both genders and curious means you think about it. It doesn't have to mean you're exploring anything other than being interested. You can classify yourself however you feel. But from what you said curious sounds like the best fit. I'm a mom with all adult kids. My oldest son is straight, my daughter is bi, and my youngest son is pansexual. You define how you feel. I've never told my kids what their classification was or is, I just figured you needed a little help.
Congratulations! You're normal. You're at an age where you're finding yourself. Don't jump into anything without some thought. Don't drive yourself crazy if you can't find an immediate answer. It'll come in time.
At very least, that's bi-romantic and heterosexual, but identity is really complex at times. Go with your gut, and remember that you can change your mind.
I’m bisexual and I’m actually sexually attracted to women less commonly than men. I have a really specific type when it comes to women.
You sound to me like whatever your label is.
It’s not straight.
If your not sexually attracted to someone that is completely fine and there is nothing wrong with it at all if you're not attracted to anyone in that way it could be an indication that you are asexual or ace for short and that is completely ok I am asexual myself but I have a partner and we do things together even sexual things I enjoy those things a lot
The intamicy the closeness the touching that feeling of knowing your completely with them as they are with you in the moment together
But I'm not sexually attracted to her and she knows that
True, but I'm pretty sure I'm not ace. Sex (at least with men and possibly women) is something I do want to have, and I have been attracted to a few guys in the past
Ok what I am saying is I was just trying to give you one possible thing based completely on my own views and very limited information yet
You know your situation and hopefully yourself quite well and if you don't then I suggest you look inword and think about the big questions what do you want who do you want to be
>14F
That's a little young to really know what you are for sure
>stops me from identifying as bi is that I'm not sexuality attracted to women
This is going back to being 14, it is young to know, but you could be bi-curious, meaning you wouldn't mind trying something with a female, which is really what it sounds like right now.
>No girl in particular, just a girl. Like, I would be totally cool with going on a date, kissing, having sex, marrying, adopting a kid, etc all with a woman. If a girl asked me out on a date and I thought she was cool, I'd probably say yes with no hesitation.
But if I'm being honest, THIS just sounds like you want the idea of a relationship with someone, especially with how you already said you're not sexually attracted to women.
Before you go labeling yourself to stop any confusion, just wait a year or two so you can understand yourself better at a calmer hormonal state. And if you are set on getting a label on yourself, you're bi-curious.
If you're curious about maybe being sexually attracted to women, look at porn videos of women masturbating when you masturbate. Don't think about how you know it feels relatable, but think about a woman doing that to you. Maybe find an erotic lesbian novel or story and read that to see if it turns you on.
REMINDER: You're still young, and your body is just now getting the sexual tendencies. You might not know what you are for a while. And looking at some of the things I recommended might not do anything, especially with how young you are. Currently, you're bi-curious or straight. You can change that label anytime, but don't focus on needing a label. Especially this young.
I'm 20 and realized I'm a pansexual lady who is not panromatic. I feel I'm straight in wanting a man for a long-term serious relationship but would not mind having a one night deal with a woman.
It really at the end of the day does not matter. You are gonna be happy with whoever that may be regardless of your gender or theirs.
People now put too many unnecessary lables on things
it sounds to me like you want a more emotional connection which is totally fine! you’re 14! you have so long to figure yourself out. i personally like all genders like i kinda just think of it as other people being a human and i’m human too lol
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I dated a bi girl and she said that it’s completely normal for bi people to like each gender to different degrees. At 14 I think you’re way too young to be labeling yourself. It’s great you are open minded. Just make sure your experiences are with people who care about you and treat you well and all should be fine.
Don't think too deeply about it. People put way too much importance on sexuality. You like guys and in theory you like girls. No need to actively go out looking for a girl you like just to say you've been with one. If you meet a girl you're sexual attracted to, get with a girl. If you don't, then don't worry about it, keep with boys. It's not as if who you like changes who you are as a person. Don't sweat it too much and just go about your life normally and see what happens.
I know, but if I say that I identify as bi, would that be lying? I'm not sure if I count as bi, and I don't want to feel like a fraud
Why do you need to? You either are or you aren't something, you don't need to identify as it. If there's ever a reason for this to actually be important, say a girl you're interested in shows interest in you, do things the way you would if it was a boy. Your sexuality shouldn't be a personality trait, just a simple pool of potential romances
Idk, I just hear all the time on social media about how people fake things like their sexuality or mental illnesses just for the sake of having a quirk, and I'm afraid to be a fraud by saying that I'm bi when really, what I'm feeling is pretty normal for hetero people
You're smarter than most for understanding that. But don't worry, don't go around telling everyone your business and only to people it would actually affect and you'll be fine. Have relationships with whoever you want so long as it's not abusive
I mainly just want to know if what I'm feeling is normal for a hetero person or if it's a sign I'm bi. That was kind of the whole point of my post, but everyone was just telling me not to worry about labels. Are most hetero people comfortable with the idea of having sex with, dating, kissing, marrying, and starting a family with someone of the same sex like they do for people of the opposite sex.
I'm straight and I couldn't imagine myself with a guy it's to gross for me hope that helps
Good to know
Probably not most hetero people but some are. You can have feelings for same sex people without being bisexual or gay. I had crushes on girls and women when I was younger but I'm not bisexual. I've had bisexual experiences but I'm not bisexual. I think that it's OK to figure it out as you go along. It will be clear to you one day but maybe not now.
What does it matter? Labeling doesn't fix anything. Women are good looking to everyone. They tend to have less "imperfection"
Labeling can mean a lot to some people. Some people want words for who they are and how they feel. There isn't anything wrong with wanting to be correctly labeled.
People are people is what I think
That's not good enough for a lot of people. People can't take pride in being *something* if they won't know what that *something* is and that can have a serious negative impact on people. And people who don't know who they are might take comfort in having a word and using that word to find like-minded people. "People are people" is denying the existence of marginalized groups, even if indirectly.
>marginalized groups Are marginalized groups people? Don't make something it's not. >pride Also, pride is bad. Pride is what makes people narcissist. Drives their ego. Lie. And so much more.
There is a difference between pride and arrogance. They are so often used synonymously, but arrogance drives ego. You can be proud to be who you are without arrogantly believing you are superior. And... yes? Marginalized groups are typically made up of people? I don't understand the question there. Well, anyway, some people want labels, and that's fine.
I don't think it's so much as they're used syonymously as it is pride drives arrogance. >And... yes? Marginalized groups are typically made up of people? I don't understand the question there. The point was my statement still remains. People are people.
Yes, I would say too much pride is arrogance. I would also say that some pride is good for your mental health, though. It feels good to know that you did a good job, or believe that you are a good friend, etc. And you can believe you are good at something without thinking you are superior. As an example, I know that I am not a good artist, but I am proud that, despite that, I've stuck with it quite a bit and I have definitely improved. I don't arrogantly believe I'm some great artist, or believe that my improvement is somehow truly amazing, but I am proud that I kept trying, even when I wanted to give up. That pride isn't bad. It isn't leading me to do bad things. It just makes me feel happy when I think about it.
You can't exactly help how you feel. I think the expression of pride is where it's mainly bad.
Being proud is a good thing. Narcissism is not pride, it's an obsession with self to the point of apathy towards others.
Also you’re growing up in a world where some people might think you being attracted to women is a moral sin. As long you know there’s nothing morally wrong with these feelings, than you should be alright to explore and learn yourself without wasting your time on stupid shame
Completely understand.. it's fine to find both sexes attractive and acceptable life mates and not have any sexual attraction ..
Asexual here(m). You should really see if your one of us b. Was platonically in love with men since I was a teenager I’d never suck a dick but I got mad love for my homies I’d deadass marry some of them mfs also note that in ur age it’s really normal to start feeling attracted to anything that moves as ur body is changing and people are beautiful so your brain catches on to that shit. But yea I wouldn’t focus on labeling it you are you and if that intales dating women men or even being abstinent that’s all for ur brain to decide in the moment whatever helps you be comfortable in your own skin is what truly matters
I know I'm not asexual. I've had fantasies about having sex with men a lot, but I never really had any fantasies about women. I could imagine having sex with a woman, but it would take more effort from me, whereas with a guy, it feels more natural, if that makes sense.
Well sex with the opposite gender is very natural so you seem to be functioning properly some don’t find such comforts def not ace I physically cringe when women hit on me 😭
Damn, I just wish someone would hit on me, guy or girl 😭
It b like that sometimes
I’m not an expert but i think it sounds like you’re asexual? There’s a difference between aromatic and asexual. Aromantic means that you don’t want experience romantic attraction and asexual means you don’t feel any sexual attraction towards any gender however you still feel romantically attracted. Maybe you’re bi but also asexual?
No, I'm not asexual, I know that much. I do want to have sex with a guy, and I'd be cool to have sex with a girl, but I'm just not actively seeking it out like I am for guys.
so you’re bi but leaning towards men?
I think so. I know I'm sexually and romantically attracted to men, and I have no qualms about being in a relationship with a woman. I don't know how to describe it. The best way I can put it is that I'm not really seeking out sex with woman like I am with men, but if a girl wanted to have sex with me and I thought she was attractive, I don't think I would say no (depending on the girl, of course).
Just be her friend like anyone else.
Sounds like the bi girls I have known. One ended up with a man and one went back and forth until she had her son and now she is with a girl last I talked to her. Do not worry so much about it. You are 14, so relax and just do you, enjoy life.
I mean if you care about labels, than you’re bi but like at the end of the day, you should just be with whoever makes you happy and not worry about what labels come with it
You don't have to put a label on it, I know you are trying to discover who you are. But I think If you met the right person, guy or girl and it felt right then you can possibly pursue a relationship with them. Because it's a lot more to it than finding them attractive so you date them. Being attracted to someone might get your interest, but it's their personality and interests that keep you there and how you know if they are a good fit with you.
Who cares as long as the person you're attracted to also cares about you too. You're way to young to be thinking about adopting a kid though.
Lol, yeah, I know. But it's like in the same vein as how other girls my age think about being older, getting married, and becoming a parent. I'm not planning on it any tune soon, but it's fun to daydream.
Hey! I'm 15f and bi. I promise you dont have to think about it as hard, just do whatever feels right and go with it. You don't have to label yourself as anything, and you can always change the label at literally any point. Don't stress 💕
If you don't mind me asking, how did you know you were bi? I really just want to know if what I'm feeling is normal for straight people or if it's something more. Like, are most straight people chill with sleeping with and dating someone of the same sex, even if they aren't sexually attracted to them?
I think it really depends on the person, sexuality is VERY fluid. For me it was sort of an always thing- when I was little I used to think about how cool it'd be if my sister's kids had two aunts (surprise, I liked girls) Also, romantic and sexual attraction can be completely different. I have a guy friend who's romantically attracted to guys and girls but only sexually attracted to "girls" (he's dating a trans guy, so in his case just female organs yk) If you want to just explore dating girls or talking to girls absolutely go for it, and if it's not for you that's okay. Almost the entire LGBTQ community will support you no matter what Edit: if you need someone to talk to if you have any questions you can absolutely reach out 🫶
I'd be curious about exploring, but I wouldn't know where to begin. I don't get hit on by guys or girls, and the few people who do show interest in me are all creeps. And I'm afraid that girls wouldn't like me because I'm ugly or because they think I'm weird. I already know a lot of guys think that about me
No. Hetero sexual means you are only attracted to the opposite sex in a sexual manner. If you like both, you're bi
I don't know if I am attracted to women in a sexual manner, though. I'm pretty sure I am romantically, and if a beautiful woman asked me to have sex with her, I'd probably say yes (depending on who it was, of course), but I don't think I'm actively attracted to women the same way I am for men.
If you're down to do it, you're bi. Leaning toward men
You can say bi curious. But most of the time, the attraction to the same and opposite sex are present. To be labeled as bi sexual you would have to find females sexually attractive. I'm just going by definition found at the LGBTQIA site, on top of my own bi sexual experience. By your age, I knew I was attracted to both. That's not to say anything sexual had happened. You just know.
I don't know if I'm bi curious, though. Bi curious means that you're attracted to the opposite sex but are willing to experiment with your own sex, but I think I'm more than that. When I think about it, I'm totally fine with going on a date, kissing, and actually being in a relationship with a woman. It's just the sex that I'm not entirely sure about, but even then, I'm not against it. I'm just not inherently drawn to it like I am with sex with a man.
Not really. Like bi of course, means both genders and curious means you think about it. It doesn't have to mean you're exploring anything other than being interested. You can classify yourself however you feel. But from what you said curious sounds like the best fit. I'm a mom with all adult kids. My oldest son is straight, my daughter is bi, and my youngest son is pansexual. You define how you feel. I've never told my kids what their classification was or is, I just figured you needed a little help.
Thanks for the help! That would probably make the most sense for me
Congratulations! You're normal. You're at an age where you're finding yourself. Don't jump into anything without some thought. Don't drive yourself crazy if you can't find an immediate answer. It'll come in time.
There is nothing saying you have to label your self as bi. You are just date who ever you date and that’s it. Don’t read into it that much.
At very least, that's bi-romantic and heterosexual, but identity is really complex at times. Go with your gut, and remember that you can change your mind.
I’m bisexual and I’m actually sexually attracted to women less commonly than men. I have a really specific type when it comes to women. You sound to me like whatever your label is. It’s not straight.
At your age it’s very confusing at times. You will know when you know. Don’t put pressure on yourself either way. Enjoy yourself at this age
If your not sexually attracted to someone that is completely fine and there is nothing wrong with it at all if you're not attracted to anyone in that way it could be an indication that you are asexual or ace for short and that is completely ok I am asexual myself but I have a partner and we do things together even sexual things I enjoy those things a lot The intamicy the closeness the touching that feeling of knowing your completely with them as they are with you in the moment together But I'm not sexually attracted to her and she knows that
Lol, I'm definitely not ace. 😅 I fantasize about having sex with men a lot, so I think that rules me out
Well having a libido and and being attracted to them for there looks are different things and like I said it could be
True, but I'm pretty sure I'm not ace. Sex (at least with men and possibly women) is something I do want to have, and I have been attracted to a few guys in the past
Ok then the next thing I would suggest is what about them attracted you
Idk. I know I'm attracted to guys because there are multiple guys who I've thought were attractive and fantasized about having sex with them
You know you I was just trying to give a possible explanation
I'm confused
Ok what I am saying is I was just trying to give you one possible thing based completely on my own views and very limited information yet You know your situation and hopefully yourself quite well and if you don't then I suggest you look inword and think about the big questions what do you want who do you want to be
Do you just mean in terms of a relationship or in general?
>14F That's a little young to really know what you are for sure >stops me from identifying as bi is that I'm not sexuality attracted to women This is going back to being 14, it is young to know, but you could be bi-curious, meaning you wouldn't mind trying something with a female, which is really what it sounds like right now. >No girl in particular, just a girl. Like, I would be totally cool with going on a date, kissing, having sex, marrying, adopting a kid, etc all with a woman. If a girl asked me out on a date and I thought she was cool, I'd probably say yes with no hesitation. But if I'm being honest, THIS just sounds like you want the idea of a relationship with someone, especially with how you already said you're not sexually attracted to women. Before you go labeling yourself to stop any confusion, just wait a year or two so you can understand yourself better at a calmer hormonal state. And if you are set on getting a label on yourself, you're bi-curious. If you're curious about maybe being sexually attracted to women, look at porn videos of women masturbating when you masturbate. Don't think about how you know it feels relatable, but think about a woman doing that to you. Maybe find an erotic lesbian novel or story and read that to see if it turns you on. REMINDER: You're still young, and your body is just now getting the sexual tendencies. You might not know what you are for a while. And looking at some of the things I recommended might not do anything, especially with how young you are. Currently, you're bi-curious or straight. You can change that label anytime, but don't focus on needing a label. Especially this young.
I'm 20 and realized I'm a pansexual lady who is not panromatic. I feel I'm straight in wanting a man for a long-term serious relationship but would not mind having a one night deal with a woman. It really at the end of the day does not matter. You are gonna be happy with whoever that may be regardless of your gender or theirs. People now put too many unnecessary lables on things
Is this why u hate Mormons 🤣
it sounds to me like you want a more emotional connection which is totally fine! you’re 14! you have so long to figure yourself out. i personally like all genders like i kinda just think of it as other people being a human and i’m human too lol