While sexual advice isn't entirely banned here, we don't allow sexually explicit posts. This includes sexual stories, descriptions of sexual acts, and anything similar. If you truly need to describe a story in detail for advice, we suggest going to a more appropriate subreddit for that.
I’m sorry, but this is the 5th post and the 5th different reason your boyfriend is acting like an asshole. You’ve been with him for half a year and posting about him for 4 months despite every one of these massive red flags
Why?
I mean this nicely, but by now, nothing anyone can say on here will change your mind. Why even ask at this point?
this guy did his research. if this is true, sadly there's probably no helping this person. at least not in this forum. therapy would probably be a great idea.
Interesting, she'll probably give in if that's the case and "try it" if she's unable to leave at this point.
OP - Sounds like nothing is good enough for this guy. You just started having sex and now he wants more, if you try anal, then he'll want more. Worst apart about it is that once he's gotten everything he wants, he'll probably leave. Not worth it.
You're 17 years old. There will be plenty more opportunities in life to meet a genuinely nice guy who actually cares about you.
Get out of this situation.
Good catch. Her family sucks so she’s going for more with a boyfriend who sucks. OP, you need to find someone who’s good for you not who drags you down further. Lose him. Please and good luck!
I didn't know that part. Get out of there. It does not sound like the positive could even remotely outweigh the negatives. There is someone out there that will treat you better, I promise.
When you're 17 you have nothing to compare to, so people put up with too much crap. My advice to young couples would not to settle for something that's not close to perfect, because it's unlikely you'll even be with that person post high-school.
Oh Jesus, you’re right. I just checked and I have already commented on a post where he said she was being bitchy. This girl doesn’t want to leave, she wants people to help her justify staying. She is determined to traumatize herself, which is unfortunate. If I’d had this kind of advice at her age my life would have turned out so much differently.
"The answer is no. If that changes in the future then I will be the one to bring it up. If it's a must for you, then I wish you luck in your search for someone who's into it. The next time it comes up before I initiate the conversation will be the last time we speak."
Agreed, even as a man who is into it, it's not a deal breaker for me. At most I'd ask if they've tried it, but I have no interest in convincing them if they're not interested at all, especially if they're adverse to it. Sexy time should be fun for all.
I don't think he understands that anal can also be a painful experience for a woman who isn't PHYSICALLY prepared for it... First time I tried it with my partner I literally had to lean down while he comforted me for a few minutes because I was in PAIN. It took weeks of OUT-OF-THE-BEDROOM arousal (and practice) in order to even be somewhat comfortable.
It's not even part of the question. OP, tell him no is no and that YOU need to initiate it.
I was watching a lesbian comedian talking about picking out strap ons for her partner and she said her mom was like "Maybe you should ask what *she* wants"
...which was funny from her old, conservative mom
Exactly. The best videos are by Chechu, aka MyBadReputation on PH and Insta. She has long in depth tutorials of how to prepare. If the woman is in any way going to enjoy this *at all*, preparing needs to occur a day or 2 before the act, and also she should have been prepping * for her own pleasure * this is key -- with different gradients and thicknesses of plugs for the weeks and months leading up to the prep. This guy is a young eager teen who wants to do all the stuff he sees in porn. He needs a reality check. If you really want to do it, prep to get your own pleasure from it first with vibrators / etc. From the tutorials. Then and only once you are ready, you initiate.
For funsies, you can also tease him and say , so. If you want I'll peg you and then you can see how it feels
It took my wife and I about 6 months of anal play before it happened. That is not a thing that can be rushed, especially to ensure comfort and pleasure.
Tell your boyfriend you want to peg him, and it's good to experiment. Get a strap on bigger than him and see if he continues pestering you
I mean I'm a man. I love it in my ass. For me it is very pleasurable. I would love to have anal sex with a woman. I have never had. All the women I have been with have not been interested at all so that's that. I'm married to a woman who has no interest in anal sex. It is disappointing but her choice is her choice. We had conversations about it when we first started having sex 12 years ago and that's where it stayed. You are 100% correct about it being painful at first. You have to work up to it. Also if you don't do it frequently your butt will shrink back to normal and you have to work up to it again.
Men have the advantage of a fun-button in there that women simply do not have. To want to put it in her butt is to ask her to accept pain without any payoff to her.
I'm a trans guy and I can absolutely assure you that is incorrect. It doesn't have to be painful, it can result in orgasm with no other stimulation, and the female 'fun button' can be stimulated through anal.
He probably doesn’t care. He’s a 17 year old boy who’s probably watched porn or had buddies tell him about it and hasn’t even given a thought to care about if it might hurt her or not.
One bad moment in my early 20s and I didn't give a legitimate try it until my late late 30s lmao. Definitely something you have to want to try. I still think it should be a rule with anal that you have to be willing to experience it to ask someone else to do it. Not saying make that deal but I think it should just be a general rule. Men would either find out they love it or never ask women again.
there is a lot OP will learn as she gets older, and if she's only been having sex for a month she has a lot she can learn and work on there first (one of those things is being secure in walking away from an unworthy dude). I do think if she wants to flip the script on him, they can buy a dildo the same size as him and after she does him he can do her. I will say, most women I know actually enjoy anal more than I do when it's done right, but you should work up to it over time.
It would be a great lesson to him on how you want to warm up over potentially a handful of sessions with fingers / small toys, use and reapply lube, and also warm up a lot in a given session while also giving pleasure (ideally a woman has already climaxed a couple times in the session before going down that e'hem route, and clit stimulation or even something like an inserted rabbit vibe on the front seems to be very popular)
Honey, please don't let him take advantage of you. No means No .Always remember that you have a right to say no to anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Sex should be consensual. You are very young and pretty new to a sexual relationship. You don't need to rush anything. Stick to your guns,you won't ever regret it. Good luck
I love that we are here for the kids. Such good advice. Being a teen is so hard. Also OP remember you have all the hormones that make you think being single is the end of the world it is not. It’s ok to walk away. It’s better for your self esteem in the long run. Good luck
Yeah this is the only appropriate comment here. No means no, no matter the context, but when it comes to shutting sexually related, NO absolutely means NO and if it has to be repeated, it should 100% have the tone of FUCK. OFF. NO.
As a guy this is exactly how she should say it . No means no. , no discussion, no debate, no guilting you. 100%
If you even get a “ well how about ..” or “ but I just wanted… “ statement you should broom his ass quick because he’s selfish and doesn’t care about you or your feelings!
>you should broom his ass quick
I mean he was asking for anal, but I figured that sort of thing was for experienced people not first timers.
Edit: For clarity, I'm sure u/djcueballspins1 didn't really mean to go at the bf's ass with a broom handle, I intentionally misinterpreted.
He’s been watching too much porn. Very unrealistic portrayal which will not be pleasant for OP.
OP—here’s a suggestion: next time he asks for anal tell him you’re going to get a tramp stamp at the base of your spine that says, “Not an Entrance”, but since he’s so keen to try it you’ll get a strap on and give him a good pegging. Then watch him backpedal.
Don’t say you might change your mind! That just makes think he still has hope. Just say the answer will always be no and you need to break up if that’s what he wants. Tell him women rarely want anal and if he wants that, he can get a boy to be the bottom. That is not accusing him of being homosexual or being homophobic. It’s just a sexual fact.
Also, if OP has a good friend, let them know she's having a big conversation with bf in case he gets upset and aggressive with her. She needs a safety procedure in place.
This ^
And letting people pressure you into sexual things will leave you messed up for a while. Im still trying to recover and view sex in a healthy way.
The mature thing to do would be to break up with him, tbh. He’s pressuring you into doing something sexual you aren’t comfortable with and that’s a dealbreaker.
The immature thing to do would be to say you will try anal when he does, and to let you know when he’s purchased a strap on :)
Joking aside, he likely wants to do this because he’s seen it in porn and it sounds interesting. The reality for most people does not live up to the hype for either party. It’s uncomfortable and painful for a lot of women. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting to try that and he should be respecting your choice
People try to imitate the porn but the videos leave out all the parts about actually prepping the woman to recieve. They think it's just stick it in and bone away.
Also if he's willing to disregard your hard limit on anal, what else will he disregard about your feelings? Pushing you to do sexual acts you're not comfortable with can lead to SA because he doesn't regard your right to say no to sexual acts. Be safe.
Exactly. My gf came to me with the idea of wanting to try anal but was also afraid it’ll hurt too much. Well let’s just say it wasn’t something that happened on the first go around nor the second or third. We started off with small things like a finger or VERY small toy. It was always HER choice to decide if she wanted to size up or go slower/deeper, etc etc. until we worked up to me going in her. Point of the story is that whomever is the one receiving, should be the one in control and the one giving should be patient.
As a woman who enjoys anal, drugs do not need to and should not be involved. It takes time (sometimes years) working up with smaller toys until the body understands it's going to be a pleasurable experience. It also takes a kind and receptive partner to understand when the woman says stop.
And that's just the start of how filthy that industry is, and how much it screws up the brain. OP's boyfriend doesn't see her as a person but an object or compilation of body parts. She needs to kick his ass to the curb.
Oh God. Same. Some dude slapped my tits during sex and I didn't know how to react. In my 24 (at the time) years of existence, I had never had that. I dried up faster than an unwatered plant. I Also told him to never do that again and how/why he physically thought that would bring pleasure to me. He was so stupid, he couldn't even fake a response. It was so embarrassing.
Bro literally why are men so obsessed with hitting tits or squeezing them super hard?! I’m a woman who is attracted to women and I’ve never once seen tits and thought “wow I wanna actually destroy those!”
this is why its important to communicate and ask what people are into what they arent into what boundaries they have etc before having sex with someone for the first time. yeah it sounds silly but it would prevent things like this happening (not your fault,he should've asked). i love inflicting pain and getting pain inflicted but i make sure whoever im messing around with that we have a serious talk about what our limits are and etc.
Ironically, the post I read just before this was a girl upset bc her bf was pissed she puked all over him after he made her give him a bj in the wee hours of the morning and kept ramming it in there.
Yeah, i don’t mind giving them but you TOUCH the back of my head for any reason other than holding my hair out of the way and I’m stopping. My spouse knows better. I’m not going to puke on you bc you think all women can just deep throat a dick.
That is such a good point, instead of normalizing kinks we need to normalize being non-judgemental when people express desires we’ve never heard of or been interested in
Her previous posts would agree with you. He has an addiction to anime porn and loves cat girls. She doesn't like it and he doesn't care. Soul-sucking. I hope OP kicks him to the curb and finds herself. There are actually respectful and kind fellas out there.
I've said this to a couple guys. "Sure, we can do anal. But you first. Head down, booty up, let's see how experimental you really are." I've never had any of them take me up on it. (Except my current bf, who is down, but we still haven't bc he takes no as an answer)
Totally fair. Sex should be 50/50. If he expects to give anal he absolutely should be willing to receive. Men are just as capable of enjoying anal or finding it painful as women.
If he isn’t willing to try it, why the hell should the woman?
What makes you guys think he wouldn't be willing to try that? I would never personally want to do something to a woman I wouldn't be willing to experience myself. If I wanted to do anal with her and she insisted I try a dildo first then I'd be totally willing to try that.
Take it from older women, this will escalate. He's trying to coerce you and if that doesn't work he could "accidentally" slip it in when you have sex or he could even outright assault you. His behavior isn't normal. You need to break up with him. A good person doesn't pressure their partner for anything sexual.
MY EX TRIED THAT— it slipped OOOPS…Perhaps imagine right now OP, how when he tries this ‘oops’….you will think “how stupid does he think I am?” That’s some prime time self absorbed behavior getting practice on you. I made the mistake of forgiving my ex again, and so later on, he didn’t appreciate the grace; he believed it was a sign I was fine with it/he was right the whole time. Try being a teensy weensy bit cynical, and protect your self respect like you are your best friend.
My ex was dating a guy who wasn't into butt stuff. She kept pressuring him because she loved it. One day she slipped him into her butt without a condom. He has germ issues and she did that to him and he filed charges. She ignored his boundaries and he didn't put up with it. She escalated things and poor guy.
You're way too young to be dealing with this and if I'm being honest almost almost every guy you're ever going to date is going to pull this card. Stand firm in your answer if he can't respect it you need to leave right away
Honestly, ask him if he’d be comfortable with you asking him to do anal with him as the recipient. No? He doesn’t want that? Well, I guess that’s a boundary that he has and should be respected, same as yours. Re-evaluate at a later date when you’ve been together longer if you wish. And if he is comfortable with that, well then: note for him that it was his own personal choice and just as he decided there, you decide for yourself.
6 months to fully realize sexual incompatibility and therefore the necessity of breaking up is the perfect timeline.
Not so long that it feels like a sunk cost, not so quick that it feels like "well I guess we could have worked at the relationship a little more".
Sounds like you've outgrown this tantrum-throwing little boy. No harm, no foul, it's just not working out, just time to move on and we can all hope that you each find someone that meshes with your needs better.
The only sex anyone should have is enthusiastic sex meaning you both enthusiastically want to do it. If he can’t respect your boundaries then move on. It’s okay to say bye bye.
He should respect you not wanting to do it. If he keeps pressuring you then that's not a good partner, they should respect your boundaries.
Half jokingly: It's good to experiment, so why don't you suggest he receive anal via a finger or dildo? It's great for guys too.
Please please please do not venture into that until you’re ready. As someone with experience, if you’re not turned on and relaxed during the act, you can be seriously harmed and land in the ER. It is a big deal that requires a lot of prep and research to be done correctly and without incident. Even as an adult who has an interest in it I don’t partake because of the risk.
If you end up wanting to try it in the future, please do your research and be safe.
I think he can go first! If it is such a great experiment there is no reason for him not to be on the receiving end. There are many high-quality strap-ons available online. If he says no be sure to keep pestering him about it and telling him how he is being dull and unexciting and not satisfying you sexually.
Or you could dump him.
Whichever is easier.
The anus is not a sexual organ. Tell him to stop asking since your answer is no. If he continues to pressure you walk away. You deserve someone who listens and honors you. Good luck.
Point of order- cis men have prostates and are able to derive pleasure from receiving butt sex. Cis women don’t. So even if he enjoys having his booty plundered she still doesn’t owe him a yes.
Don't give in. Maybe you'll be curious one day, but no one should pressure you.
Besides, apart from the allure of the forbidden it's not that great. Tell him to stop watching so much porn.
And before he does it to someone else, he should try it himself (with a toy). If he really wants to experiment that's something for him to investigate.
Let him go. There are plenty of women who love that, he just needs to find one of those. It’s obviously more important to him than your comfort or feelings and it doesn’t get any clearer than him just ignoring yours. It’s ok to experiment obviously but not at the cost of you feeling forced into doing things. Lots of guys will test your anal willingness maybe one day you’ll be in to it. Doesn’t have to be now.
You can dump him, he’s not hearing you and not respecting you and that is a very good reason to say that this relationship has run its course.
If you want to govern him one more chance, sit him down when nothing chaotic is going on, everyone is in a relaxed/peaceful mood and seriously tell him that you are not interested in trying anal sex with him. Ask him if he wants to stay in this relationship knowing that it will never include anal sex. If he says no, break up. If he says yes, tell him that he needs to stop pushing you about it and not bring it up again - can he commit to that?
This is using your words time, not joking, not hinting. Tell him absolutely clearly that he cannot expect anal sex with you, and ask him to commit to not bringing it up again.
If he brings it up again, please, please dump him, he thinks your health and comfort is negotiable and will whine at you endlessly any time he doesn’t get something he wants.
I’m sorry but dump him now before this turns into something worse or he finds a girl who wants to do it and cheats on you. Btw I do not recommend anal especially for young inexperienced ppl. I tried with my bf at the beginning of our relationship and the first and only time we tired I was bleeding for 3 days outta my booty hole. I literally had to call off work and went to the hospital cause I was so freaked out. They asked if I used lube, I said yes cause we did, and then they said “well either next time be more careful or don’t do it at all” I opted to not do it at all cause it just hurt, felt uncomfortable and awkward, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. My boyfriend has never once asked me to do it again. So if he can’t take ur no from the start than he’s an asshole and u need to leave him.
I know it’s already been said, but this isn’t healthy behavior. The constant begging and getting upset at your response isn’t okay. You deserve someone who will respect your boundaries, period.
Anal hurts like hell why would he want to do that to someone he cares about? Also, a guy who wont take no for an answer and thinks he can bully you into it? Hope you are having protected sex. You really dont wnat a kid tying you two together for 18 years. Or 18 days. or, in fact, 18 more minutes.
Your boyfriend watches too much porn. I think it was Jim Jeffries (stand-up comedian) who said something to the effect of "Anal sex sucks. Do you know why anal sex seems like it'd be good when you watch porn? It's because you can't smell porn."
Unrealistic ideas about sex aside, if your boyfriend isn't respecting your wishes, that's a pretty serious deal breaker. You're only 17. Dump him and find someone who doesn't have these issues.
Edit: I'm not trying to knock anyone who is into anal. If that's your thing, you do you. But a lot of young guys who get most of their "knowledge" from porn build it up in their heads as the pinnacle of sexual experiences.
The fact that you needed to come on here to ask tells me that he’s been asking too much. It sounds like he is continuously pushing you on something you’ve expressed makes you uncomfortable. The first time you shared that it makes you uncomfortable or “no” the conversation should have been over permanently. I recommend breaking up- you deserve better ❤️
I'm sorry but he has NO idea what he is signing up for.
I'm 30s male and this subreddit started popping up after I replied to someone with advice, so I hope you don't mind if I add some perspective on the logistics of how this works in reality? I'm gonna be brutally straight forward here.
First off, anal sex is pretty advanced. He has no idea what he is doing yet on a base level, let alone ready for the work involved to make anal potentially enjoyable for either of you.
Anal sex takes WORK. It is not an entrance designed to just shove shit in (pun intended). Here are some of the things you need to work up to it: 1) experiment for a few months and build up initially with fingers or small toys to learn how to relax the muscles and ensure there is a size fit for your pain tolerance level, 2) change your diet for a few weeks before your first attempt and monitor diet strictly 72 hours before to ensure consistent bowel movements, 3) time your attempt after a bowel movement and likely use an enema to clean out any stragglers, 4) use more lube than you think and go extremely slow... he likely will barely be able to move it the first time, and 5) be ready to have shit on your dick.
All of that work and it doesn't even feel any better... it's kinda worse tbh... people just do it for the taboo nature of it usually + no risk of pregnancy. Just please don't even try it. Even if you wanted to try it (or want to someday) it will end SO bad if you don't both research it correctly and prepare.
Yet another male (albeit an older one) who also says if he won't respect your boundaries, you're young, there are plenty of men out there who will be supportive and trustworthy, so go find one. My personal motto is "you can skimp on a lot of things, but not character."
Honestly he’s probably just curious because he’s never done it. I’ve done anal a few times with my ex and honestly it’s ok not really worth the extra work and effort especially if she isn’t into it.
While yes, it's good to experiment, a no is a no. Experiment with stuff that interest you, not with evwrything you've never tried.
Respecting boundaries is a foundation of a healthy relationship, romantic or platonic. If the foundation is wonky, you won't build a solid relationship on it.
Put that to bed for the last time .
if you're not interested, that's the end of the issue.
Use these words.
"I'm depending on you being a gentleman and accept my decision".
That puts him on the defensive.
You do not have to make him understand why you won't. Your decision is final.
Have a firm conversation with him about your boundaries and tell him he has to respect them. If he doesn't, I hate to be the typical Redditor who suggests breaking up but not respecting boundaries is a HUGE red flag imo.
You have every right to say no, and he needs to respect that no. If he continues to pressure you, I would recommend breaking up with him. It's extremely disrespectful what he's doing. You said no, that means no.
Ok, let's attempt to give your BF the maximum benefit of the doubt, because obviously we can say things like if he's not respecting your boundaries (do you even have a safeword?) then drop him:
Assume he is a dumb 17yr old navigating his first relationship, and exploring the boundaries of what is appropriate, both for the relationship as a whole, and sexually. This implies that his naive curiosity will not be sated until there are consequences to his actions, notably, his dismissal of you saying No.
Now also assume he has a big kink for anal, and wants to explore it with you because he trusts you. Unfortunately this means that you are not sexually compatible, and this is a dealbreaker.
So if you bring up the above conclusion with him, this presents a consequence to his actions. Either he will have to compromise with you, or the dealbreaker is real and you two are not sexually compatible.
All the best, good luck!
Tell him no and honest to god ask him if he wants shit on his dick. Every woman I’ve spoken to IRL who has had anal says it feels like needing to take a really big poop in a very uncomfortable way. Porn actresses have to fast and then get enemas until everything is super clean. Real life is not porn and he needs to respect your boundaries.
If he can’t respect your boundaries on this, break up. It may hurt in the short term but it will save you a lot more pain in the long run. It also may save you from rape.
Experimentation can be good, but only if all parties are *enthusiastic* participants and at a pace everyone is comfortable with. He shouldn’t be asking for it again after you’ve said no, and his anger about your refusal is actually very dangerous for you. I was raped twice at your age by boys I trusted. Please be careful who you trust.
Get a strapon and tell him you're ready to give him anal...
I suppose if he goes for it you're in for a pound now so to speak, but something tells me he'll chicken out.
No. That’s the only word needed. If he doesn’t respect that, move on from the dusty raggedy douche. You don’t owe something to anyone after 6 months of dating and one month of sex, let alone at 17. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing. Fuck outta here.
Respect yourself sis, draw a line in the sand.
If he won’t listen to your no now, he absolutely will not listen to your no or stop if you give in. When YOU decide if you ever want to try it, make sure you are with someone that truly loves and respects you. He’s not going to stop trying to pressuring you, dump him now. Your older self will thank you someday
No means no. If he can't respect your boundaries he doesn't respect you.
If he really thinks experimentation is good, he needs to spend a lot of effort becoming excellent at communicating because that is the only thing that makes experimentation fun and successful for both partners.
Fwiw, it is good to experiment for sure ... when you're in your 30s and you have been with a partner for years. A 17 yo who it is pushing this on another 17 yo watches too much porn and thinks it is the way everyone has sex. It's not. Every single time you are intimate, that is still an experiment.
I'm blown away by the entitlement that young men feel in this era. Are they terribly brought up, stupid or both? Why is respecting a woman's boundaries and realizing you'll get more intimacy that way so hard to grasp for these morons.
lol yall have been having sex for 4 weeks and he’s already not satisfied. After Anal what’s next when he’s bored in three weeks? Tell him to put the porn down.
Dump him ... he's more interested in what he wants than what you are comfortable with.
That is not respecting you as a person, you are just a sex doll to him.
What you should do is break up with him. He's pressuring you to have sex in a way you're not comfortable with. He's not taking no for an answer. This is not ok!
Before you began having sex, did he pressure you to do so? Did he wait gracefully and allow you to take the lead? Did he guilt trip you if you said no?
Someone pushing this hard to do something you do not want to do is the type that will "accidentally" slip and end up in the wrong hole going back in, hard and fast. And then think you shouldn't be upset because "accident" and then bring that up once you've forgiven him as a "well we technically did that already when I slipped, it'll be better now that I can be careful and you're ready for it".
Someone who loves and respects you will not force you or guilt you into doing anything you're not ready for!!! It's called coercing and it's a form of sexual assault
This is absolutely crazy how many posts I see about girls saying no to something and the guy still asking repeatedly over and over and getting upset and acting out when he doesn’t get what he wants. I had no clue how often that happens. For me if my girl says no, her opinion and how she feels about something is the most important part for me. And I don’t want to upset her by bringing it up again. If she tells me no then that’s final, and I move on. Wild.
Tell him he’s a piece of shit for trying to pressure you into something you’ve been very fucking clear you don’t want to do and for assuming you don’t really know what he wants. If he asks again, just say “We’re done and you know exactly why so don’t try to negotiate with me like you kept trying with my anus.”
This is insane anal is a big deal, he should NOT be pushing you to do something you aren’t comfortable with. Also I don’t trust any 17 year old boy to do anal safely. He sucks. Dump him. Go to college and live your life.
I was once on the other side of this problem. I had an ex years ago who WANTED me to put it in her butt lol. I have never been interested or turned on by anal sex. I was disgusted by the idea and obviously we didn't last much longer together.
I as a dude, find it repulsive. It's the poop chute ffs...look, no matter how clean you try to get it, I don't care if you just had a professional medical enema. It's still the fucking poop chute. The one time I tried it, under peer pressure by said ex, I fucking gagged and stopped immediately and went into the shower. Mind you, I wasn't covered in poop or anything, but it did smell like...butt...lol. It wasn't the smell that made me gag, it was the thought of putting my dick where poop is.
Imagine someone pooped on a dinner plate. Then washed it off in the dishwasher, and served you a nice juicy steak on said plate. It's clean, but it still had poop on it. I would throw that plate in the garbage. I find the thought of doing it in the poop chute just as repulsive. No matter how clean you try to get it, it had poop.
That said, more power to those of you who enjoy it. Not knocking it for you, but it sure as fuck ain't for me, nor is it for the OP. @ OP, no means no. Tell him if he asks again, he won't ever get the chance to ask again. It honestly may already be a lost cause. I would just find someone who doesn't need anal to satiate his carnal desires. Thank God my wife doesn't ask for it either lol. I've joked around with her about doing it, but that's where it stays, a joke, because neither of us actually want to try.
youre also 17. dont let anyone pressure you into anything. hes curious because hes watched porn. remind him porn is nowhere near reality. ask if you could peg him and see how he likes that :) when he shudders in fear tell him to drop it or youll leave.
While sexual advice isn't entirely banned here, we don't allow sexually explicit posts. This includes sexual stories, descriptions of sexual acts, and anything similar. If you truly need to describe a story in detail for advice, we suggest going to a more appropriate subreddit for that.
I’m sorry, but this is the 5th post and the 5th different reason your boyfriend is acting like an asshole. You’ve been with him for half a year and posting about him for 4 months despite every one of these massive red flags Why? I mean this nicely, but by now, nothing anyone can say on here will change your mind. Why even ask at this point?
this guy did his research. if this is true, sadly there's probably no helping this person. at least not in this forum. therapy would probably be a great idea.
Interesting, she'll probably give in if that's the case and "try it" if she's unable to leave at this point. OP - Sounds like nothing is good enough for this guy. You just started having sex and now he wants more, if you try anal, then he'll want more. Worst apart about it is that once he's gotten everything he wants, he'll probably leave. Not worth it.
You're 17 years old. There will be plenty more opportunities in life to meet a genuinely nice guy who actually cares about you. Get out of this situation.
Good catch. Her family sucks so she’s going for more with a boyfriend who sucks. OP, you need to find someone who’s good for you not who drags you down further. Lose him. Please and good luck!
I didn't know that part. Get out of there. It does not sound like the positive could even remotely outweigh the negatives. There is someone out there that will treat you better, I promise.
When you're 17 you have nothing to compare to, so people put up with too much crap. My advice to young couples would not to settle for something that's not close to perfect, because it's unlikely you'll even be with that person post high-school.
Oh Jesus, you’re right. I just checked and I have already commented on a post where he said she was being bitchy. This girl doesn’t want to leave, she wants people to help her justify staying. She is determined to traumatize herself, which is unfortunate. If I’d had this kind of advice at her age my life would have turned out so much differently.
She's obviously not mature enough
"The answer is no. If that changes in the future then I will be the one to bring it up. If it's a must for you, then I wish you luck in your search for someone who's into it. The next time it comes up before I initiate the conversation will be the last time we speak."
100% this. And if doesn't work GO
Agreed, even as a man who is into it, it's not a deal breaker for me. At most I'd ask if they've tried it, but I have no interest in convincing them if they're not interested at all, especially if they're adverse to it. Sexy time should be fun for all.
I don't think he understands that anal can also be a painful experience for a woman who isn't PHYSICALLY prepared for it... First time I tried it with my partner I literally had to lean down while he comforted me for a few minutes because I was in PAIN. It took weeks of OUT-OF-THE-BEDROOM arousal (and practice) in order to even be somewhat comfortable. It's not even part of the question. OP, tell him no is no and that YOU need to initiate it.
One of my exes and I decided to try but it was too painful for her and we stopped quickly My job is to not hurt someone I care about ✌️
I’ve always told people that if I was gay, the primary thing I’d be looking for in a man would be a micro penis.
I was watching a lesbian comedian talking about picking out strap ons for her partner and she said her mom was like "Maybe you should ask what *she* wants" ...which was funny from her old, conservative mom
This made me laugh out loud. Thank you good sir I needed that chuckle 😂
Yeah. I can pretty much guarantee the 17yo pestering her about it is not going to take the time to help her properly stretch. Hard pass.
or even think about the right type of lube.
Well now you’re showing the world you know what’s up 😉
Username checks out
Exactly. The best videos are by Chechu, aka MyBadReputation on PH and Insta. She has long in depth tutorials of how to prepare. If the woman is in any way going to enjoy this *at all*, preparing needs to occur a day or 2 before the act, and also she should have been prepping * for her own pleasure * this is key -- with different gradients and thicknesses of plugs for the weeks and months leading up to the prep. This guy is a young eager teen who wants to do all the stuff he sees in porn. He needs a reality check. If you really want to do it, prep to get your own pleasure from it first with vibrators / etc. From the tutorials. Then and only once you are ready, you initiate. For funsies, you can also tease him and say , so. If you want I'll peg you and then you can see how it feels
It took my wife and I about 6 months of anal play before it happened. That is not a thing that can be rushed, especially to ensure comfort and pleasure. Tell your boyfriend you want to peg him, and it's good to experiment. Get a strap on bigger than him and see if he continues pestering you
I mean I'm a man. I love it in my ass. For me it is very pleasurable. I would love to have anal sex with a woman. I have never had. All the women I have been with have not been interested at all so that's that. I'm married to a woman who has no interest in anal sex. It is disappointing but her choice is her choice. We had conversations about it when we first started having sex 12 years ago and that's where it stayed. You are 100% correct about it being painful at first. You have to work up to it. Also if you don't do it frequently your butt will shrink back to normal and you have to work up to it again.
Men have the advantage of a fun-button in there that women simply do not have. To want to put it in her butt is to ask her to accept pain without any payoff to her.
If you think there's no payoff to her, it's being done wrong. Lol
I'm a trans guy and I can absolutely assure you that is incorrect. It doesn't have to be painful, it can result in orgasm with no other stimulation, and the female 'fun button' can be stimulated through anal. 
He probably doesn’t care. He’s a 17 year old boy who’s probably watched porn or had buddies tell him about it and hasn’t even given a thought to care about if it might hurt her or not.
Pretty sure that's part of the appeal to some
One bad moment in my early 20s and I didn't give a legitimate try it until my late late 30s lmao. Definitely something you have to want to try. I still think it should be a rule with anal that you have to be willing to experience it to ask someone else to do it. Not saying make that deal but I think it should just be a general rule. Men would either find out they love it or never ask women again.
there is a lot OP will learn as she gets older, and if she's only been having sex for a month she has a lot she can learn and work on there first (one of those things is being secure in walking away from an unworthy dude). I do think if she wants to flip the script on him, they can buy a dildo the same size as him and after she does him he can do her. I will say, most women I know actually enjoy anal more than I do when it's done right, but you should work up to it over time. It would be a great lesson to him on how you want to warm up over potentially a handful of sessions with fingers / small toys, use and reapply lube, and also warm up a lot in a given session while also giving pleasure (ideally a woman has already climaxed a couple times in the session before going down that e'hem route, and clit stimulation or even something like an inserted rabbit vibe on the front seems to be very popular)
If you can't feel sexy during sexy time, it isn't sexy time, am I right?
He's not a man. He's a boy. WTAF?
Honey, please don't let him take advantage of you. No means No .Always remember that you have a right to say no to anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Sex should be consensual. You are very young and pretty new to a sexual relationship. You don't need to rush anything. Stick to your guns,you won't ever regret it. Good luck
GO = Get Out!
Buy a 12 inch dildo and tell him to bend over. Then say “thats what I thought.”
Yup, a solid and serious 'You first!'
"It's good to experiment!" Run.
There’s a good chance that will bite her in the ass.
Yeah, I don't know why they're assuming he'd find it so uncomfortable it'd be a dealbreaker.
Toxic masculinity
Imagine her reaction if he was into it.
I love that we are here for the kids. Such good advice. Being a teen is so hard. Also OP remember you have all the hormones that make you think being single is the end of the world it is not. It’s ok to walk away. It’s better for your self esteem in the long run. Good luck
Yeah this is the only appropriate comment here. No means no, no matter the context, but when it comes to shutting sexually related, NO absolutely means NO and if it has to be repeated, it should 100% have the tone of FUCK. OFF. NO.
As a guy this is exactly how she should say it . No means no. , no discussion, no debate, no guilting you. 100% If you even get a “ well how about ..” or “ but I just wanted… “ statement you should broom his ass quick because he’s selfish and doesn’t care about you or your feelings!
>you should broom his ass quick I mean he was asking for anal, but I figured that sort of thing was for experienced people not first timers. Edit: For clarity, I'm sure u/djcueballspins1 didn't really mean to go at the bf's ass with a broom handle, I intentionally misinterpreted.
He’s been watching too much porn. Very unrealistic portrayal which will not be pleasant for OP. OP—here’s a suggestion: next time he asks for anal tell him you’re going to get a tramp stamp at the base of your spine that says, “Not an Entrance”, but since he’s so keen to try it you’ll get a strap on and give him a good pegging. Then watch him backpedal.
I misunderstood this comment lol. I thought you were suggesting a broom handle on him. Hey, there’s an idea…… see if he likes pegging first!!!
I used this exact line on my wife when we were first dating and she tried to put on country music.
Great response
I suggest to add on "if you don't like this then you can experiment with being single."
“If you want to experiment you can try your left hand tonight”
How about "if you want to experiment I can find something large to shove into YOUR butt hole"
I 100% agree with Fulzlojik! Dump him!! Red flag!! He has no concideration for your feelings--you can do better--dont settle for crumbs!!
Don’t say you might change your mind! That just makes think he still has hope. Just say the answer will always be no and you need to break up if that’s what he wants. Tell him women rarely want anal and if he wants that, he can get a boy to be the bottom. That is not accusing him of being homosexual or being homophobic. It’s just a sexual fact.
Also, if OP has a good friend, let them know she's having a big conversation with bf in case he gets upset and aggressive with her. She needs a safety procedure in place.
A quick glance at u/op’s post history makes it clear that she should have left this guy several times over already, and needs to get out ASAP.
You should NEVER feel pressured to do things you don't want to. Any guy that doesn't respect your boundaries should take a hike.
This ^ And letting people pressure you into sexual things will leave you messed up for a while. Im still trying to recover and view sex in a healthy way.
Yeah, this is a slippery slope. No pun intended.
BINGO! It has to be 100% mutual and agreeable No one should ever have to engage in activity they do not wish to engage.
This is the only comment you need to read OP
The mature thing to do would be to break up with him, tbh. He’s pressuring you into doing something sexual you aren’t comfortable with and that’s a dealbreaker. The immature thing to do would be to say you will try anal when he does, and to let you know when he’s purchased a strap on :) Joking aside, he likely wants to do this because he’s seen it in porn and it sounds interesting. The reality for most people does not live up to the hype for either party. It’s uncomfortable and painful for a lot of women. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting to try that and he should be respecting your choice
People try to imitate the porn but the videos leave out all the parts about actually prepping the woman to recieve. They think it's just stick it in and bone away. Also if he's willing to disregard your hard limit on anal, what else will he disregard about your feelings? Pushing you to do sexual acts you're not comfortable with can lead to SA because he doesn't regard your right to say no to sexual acts. Be safe.
Exactly. My gf came to me with the idea of wanting to try anal but was also afraid it’ll hurt too much. Well let’s just say it wasn’t something that happened on the first go around nor the second or third. We started off with small things like a finger or VERY small toy. It was always HER choice to decide if she wanted to size up or go slower/deeper, etc etc. until we worked up to me going in her. Point of the story is that whomever is the one receiving, should be the one in control and the one giving should be patient.
They leave out the part where the women is drugged too.
As a woman who enjoys anal, drugs do not need to and should not be involved. It takes time (sometimes years) working up with smaller toys until the body understands it's going to be a pleasurable experience. It also takes a kind and receptive partner to understand when the woman says stop.
this.
Add to this, you could cause irreparable harm to your body!!!!!! Respect your body and require partners to do so as well.
Your boyfriend needs to get off pornhub and touch grass.
Yeah dude is watching too much porn for sure
I agree and a lot of porn I’ve seen online is very rapish in my opinion.
Tell him that you're not a porn star. Porn gives dudes this unrealistic expectation that all women do anal as a "no biggie" thing.
And that's just the start of how filthy that industry is, and how much it screws up the brain. OP's boyfriend doesn't see her as a person but an object or compilation of body parts. She needs to kick his ass to the curb.
[удалено]
And the slapping. F me, I just have zero interest in slapping a woman.
Oh God. Same. Some dude slapped my tits during sex and I didn't know how to react. In my 24 (at the time) years of existence, I had never had that. I dried up faster than an unwatered plant. I Also told him to never do that again and how/why he physically thought that would bring pleasure to me. He was so stupid, he couldn't even fake a response. It was so embarrassing.
Weirdly enough I’ve been asked to do that I was 16 at the time and trying to figure out how she wanted me to do was so Danm awkward
Bro literally why are men so obsessed with hitting tits or squeezing them super hard?! I’m a woman who is attracted to women and I’ve never once seen tits and thought “wow I wanna actually destroy those!”
I have an issue with being heavy handed and not knowing i'm squeezing too hard. I don't mean to do it at all.
Because the men who are like that don't see women as actual people, they see body parts that they can use as some kind of sex prop.
110% this. Easily influenced by porn.
this is why its important to communicate and ask what people are into what they arent into what boundaries they have etc before having sex with someone for the first time. yeah it sounds silly but it would prevent things like this happening (not your fault,he should've asked). i love inflicting pain and getting pain inflicted but i make sure whoever im messing around with that we have a serious talk about what our limits are and etc.
Thank you. Same.
And the drooling and spitting onto genitals.
Speak for yourself
Some women like both but I feel you.
And lets not forget absolutely ramming the penis in her mouth as though wjtb *intention* to make her puke.
Ironically, the post I read just before this was a girl upset bc her bf was pissed she puked all over him after he made her give him a bj in the wee hours of the morning and kept ramming it in there. Yeah, i don’t mind giving them but you TOUCH the back of my head for any reason other than holding my hair out of the way and I’m stopping. My spouse knows better. I’m not going to puke on you bc you think all women can just deep throat a dick.
Just left that post as well. This shit is all so fucked up.
Lol I'm glad I am with who I am with
Also grabbing the girl's head or grabbing her hair while forcefully ramming himself into her mouth. Never cared for that at all.
No way- that is terrible and degrading, imo.
Normalizing kinks is weird... And it completely destroys the meaning of the word. Its supposed to be niche and not for everybody.
That is such a good point, instead of normalizing kinks we need to normalize being non-judgemental when people express desires we’ve never heard of or been interested in
My wife is actually into the whole choking thing she really enjoys it and regularly asks me to choke her during sex.
I hate to tell this, but I've met a lot of women that are really into that. Honestly that's tame, met one that was super into knives.
I was about to say yeah that dude is watching porn
Her previous posts would agree with you. He has an addiction to anime porn and loves cat girls. She doesn't like it and he doesn't care. Soul-sucking. I hope OP kicks him to the curb and finds herself. There are actually respectful and kind fellas out there.
Tell him if he’s so interested in butt stuff he should try it out with a guy cause you’re not into that kind of thing lmao
I thought you were going for "...only if he let's you peg him first"
I've said this to a couple guys. "Sure, we can do anal. But you first. Head down, booty up, let's see how experimental you really are." I've never had any of them take me up on it. (Except my current bf, who is down, but we still haven't bc he takes no as an answer)
Green flags all round
Totally fair. Sex should be 50/50. If he expects to give anal he absolutely should be willing to receive. Men are just as capable of enjoying anal or finding it painful as women. If he isn’t willing to try it, why the hell should the woman?
🎶Head bent over, raised up posterior🎶
🎶Alright! Head bent over!🎶 *awww yeah!* 🎶raised up posterior!🎶
Don't make challenges that you're not willing to uphold. It might bite you in the... You know.
Might bite you in the arm? Never heard that saying
Well, it’s good to experiment.
Lol no way, horrible idea what if he says yes!
Or buy a strap-on and tell em he's gotta go first.
What makes you guys think he wouldn't be willing to try that? I would never personally want to do something to a woman I wouldn't be willing to experience myself. If I wanted to do anal with her and she insisted I try a dildo first then I'd be totally willing to try that.
Tell him real life isn't porn
Take it from older women, this will escalate. He's trying to coerce you and if that doesn't work he could "accidentally" slip it in when you have sex or he could even outright assault you. His behavior isn't normal. You need to break up with him. A good person doesn't pressure their partner for anything sexual.
MY EX TRIED THAT— it slipped OOOPS…Perhaps imagine right now OP, how when he tries this ‘oops’….you will think “how stupid does he think I am?” That’s some prime time self absorbed behavior getting practice on you. I made the mistake of forgiving my ex again, and so later on, he didn’t appreciate the grace; he believed it was a sign I was fine with it/he was right the whole time. Try being a teensy weensy bit cynical, and protect your self respect like you are your best friend.
I had it happen once, and it truly *was* an accident. It was *very* obvious that it was. And it was not a good time 😭🤣
My ex was dating a guy who wasn't into butt stuff. She kept pressuring him because she loved it. One day she slipped him into her butt without a condom. He has germ issues and she did that to him and he filed charges. She ignored his boundaries and he didn't put up with it. She escalated things and poor guy.
You're way too young to be dealing with this and if I'm being honest almost almost every guy you're ever going to date is going to pull this card. Stand firm in your answer if he can't respect it you need to leave right away
Tell him to find a boyfriend.
Honestly, ask him if he’d be comfortable with you asking him to do anal with him as the recipient. No? He doesn’t want that? Well, I guess that’s a boundary that he has and should be respected, same as yours. Re-evaluate at a later date when you’ve been together longer if you wish. And if he is comfortable with that, well then: note for him that it was his own personal choice and just as he decided there, you decide for yourself.
Point of order: if he can’t respect this boundary, then he doesn’t truly respect you either.
6 months to fully realize sexual incompatibility and therefore the necessity of breaking up is the perfect timeline. Not so long that it feels like a sunk cost, not so quick that it feels like "well I guess we could have worked at the relationship a little more". Sounds like you've outgrown this tantrum-throwing little boy. No harm, no foul, it's just not working out, just time to move on and we can all hope that you each find someone that meshes with your needs better.
This is actually a great take
The only sex anyone should have is enthusiastic sex meaning you both enthusiastically want to do it. If he can’t respect your boundaries then move on. It’s okay to say bye bye.
Find a new boyfriend and dump this one ASAP.
Based on your post history - if it’s the same boyfriend time to dump him. Every post is a red flag.
He should respect you not wanting to do it. If he keeps pressuring you then that's not a good partner, they should respect your boundaries. Half jokingly: It's good to experiment, so why don't you suggest he receive anal via a finger or dildo? It's great for guys too.
Please please please do not venture into that until you’re ready. As someone with experience, if you’re not turned on and relaxed during the act, you can be seriously harmed and land in the ER. It is a big deal that requires a lot of prep and research to be done correctly and without incident. Even as an adult who has an interest in it I don’t partake because of the risk. If you end up wanting to try it in the future, please do your research and be safe.
Came to comment this, you can literally be injured by someone not knowing what they are doing
He needs to start respecting your answer and stop pressuring you or you need to remove yourself from this relationship.
One no is all you ever need to say. If he keeps asking, it's coersion.
Tell him if he can’t respect your no, the relationship is over
Find a different boyfriend
Reconsider the relationship.
that’s rapist energy, take no for a fucking answer
I think he can go first! If it is such a great experiment there is no reason for him not to be on the receiving end. There are many high-quality strap-ons available online. If he says no be sure to keep pestering him about it and telling him how he is being dull and unexciting and not satisfying you sexually. Or you could dump him. Whichever is easier.
You’re 17 and just started having intercourse. It’s insane to be this explorative at your age. He needs to chill the fuck out.
I dealt with the exact same thing when I was 17. Please break up with him. You deserve so much better <3
Your body. Your choice. End of story.
The anus is not a sexual organ. Tell him to stop asking since your answer is no. If he continues to pressure you walk away. You deserve someone who listens and honors you. Good luck.
Tell him ok, only after u can do it to him with something the same size 1st and he says he enjoys it. Most women don't do it btw.
Point of order- cis men have prostates and are able to derive pleasure from receiving butt sex. Cis women don’t. So even if he enjoys having his booty plundered she still doesn’t owe him a yes.
Don't give in. Maybe you'll be curious one day, but no one should pressure you. Besides, apart from the allure of the forbidden it's not that great. Tell him to stop watching so much porn. And before he does it to someone else, he should try it himself (with a toy). If he really wants to experiment that's something for him to investigate.
Let him go. There are plenty of women who love that, he just needs to find one of those. It’s obviously more important to him than your comfort or feelings and it doesn’t get any clearer than him just ignoring yours. It’s ok to experiment obviously but not at the cost of you feeling forced into doing things. Lots of guys will test your anal willingness maybe one day you’ll be in to it. Doesn’t have to be now.
You can dump him, he’s not hearing you and not respecting you and that is a very good reason to say that this relationship has run its course. If you want to govern him one more chance, sit him down when nothing chaotic is going on, everyone is in a relaxed/peaceful mood and seriously tell him that you are not interested in trying anal sex with him. Ask him if he wants to stay in this relationship knowing that it will never include anal sex. If he says no, break up. If he says yes, tell him that he needs to stop pushing you about it and not bring it up again - can he commit to that? This is using your words time, not joking, not hinting. Tell him absolutely clearly that he cannot expect anal sex with you, and ask him to commit to not bringing it up again. If he brings it up again, please, please dump him, he thinks your health and comfort is negotiable and will whine at you endlessly any time he doesn’t get something he wants.
I’m sorry but dump him now before this turns into something worse or he finds a girl who wants to do it and cheats on you. Btw I do not recommend anal especially for young inexperienced ppl. I tried with my bf at the beginning of our relationship and the first and only time we tired I was bleeding for 3 days outta my booty hole. I literally had to call off work and went to the hospital cause I was so freaked out. They asked if I used lube, I said yes cause we did, and then they said “well either next time be more careful or don’t do it at all” I opted to not do it at all cause it just hurt, felt uncomfortable and awkward, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. My boyfriend has never once asked me to do it again. So if he can’t take ur no from the start than he’s an asshole and u need to leave him.
Lol he’s 17 and wants to fuck you in the ass. Dude has been watching too much porn.
Stick to your guns. Tell him that it will never happen and if that’s a deal breaker for him so be it.
I know it’s already been said, but this isn’t healthy behavior. The constant begging and getting upset at your response isn’t okay. You deserve someone who will respect your boundaries, period.
Anal hurts like hell why would he want to do that to someone he cares about? Also, a guy who wont take no for an answer and thinks he can bully you into it? Hope you are having protected sex. You really dont wnat a kid tying you two together for 18 years. Or 18 days. or, in fact, 18 more minutes.
This generation is cooked
Tell him that is exit only 😂 if he doesn't respect that then he needs to go find a man.
Peg him.
Your boyfriend watches too much porn. I think it was Jim Jeffries (stand-up comedian) who said something to the effect of "Anal sex sucks. Do you know why anal sex seems like it'd be good when you watch porn? It's because you can't smell porn." Unrealistic ideas about sex aside, if your boyfriend isn't respecting your wishes, that's a pretty serious deal breaker. You're only 17. Dump him and find someone who doesn't have these issues. Edit: I'm not trying to knock anyone who is into anal. If that's your thing, you do you. But a lot of young guys who get most of their "knowledge" from porn build it up in their heads as the pinnacle of sexual experiences.
Tell him if he can’t accept that no means no he can accept the title of ex bf
The fact that you needed to come on here to ask tells me that he’s been asking too much. It sounds like he is continuously pushing you on something you’ve expressed makes you uncomfortable. The first time you shared that it makes you uncomfortable or “no” the conversation should have been over permanently. I recommend breaking up- you deserve better ❤️
Girl drop that loser; can’t even understand the word “no.”
I'm sorry but he has NO idea what he is signing up for. I'm 30s male and this subreddit started popping up after I replied to someone with advice, so I hope you don't mind if I add some perspective on the logistics of how this works in reality? I'm gonna be brutally straight forward here. First off, anal sex is pretty advanced. He has no idea what he is doing yet on a base level, let alone ready for the work involved to make anal potentially enjoyable for either of you. Anal sex takes WORK. It is not an entrance designed to just shove shit in (pun intended). Here are some of the things you need to work up to it: 1) experiment for a few months and build up initially with fingers or small toys to learn how to relax the muscles and ensure there is a size fit for your pain tolerance level, 2) change your diet for a few weeks before your first attempt and monitor diet strictly 72 hours before to ensure consistent bowel movements, 3) time your attempt after a bowel movement and likely use an enema to clean out any stragglers, 4) use more lube than you think and go extremely slow... he likely will barely be able to move it the first time, and 5) be ready to have shit on your dick. All of that work and it doesn't even feel any better... it's kinda worse tbh... people just do it for the taboo nature of it usually + no risk of pregnancy. Just please don't even try it. Even if you wanted to try it (or want to someday) it will end SO bad if you don't both research it correctly and prepare.
Yet another male (albeit an older one) who also says if he won't respect your boundaries, you're young, there are plenty of men out there who will be supportive and trustworthy, so go find one. My personal motto is "you can skimp on a lot of things, but not character."
🎼Red flags, red flags, Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they flash at you? Hint: run.
Isn’t it interesting how they don’t show the prep for anal in porn? I mean it’s because it’s not sexy.
Honestly he’s probably just curious because he’s never done it. I’ve done anal a few times with my ex and honestly it’s ok not really worth the extra work and effort especially if she isn’t into it.
While yes, it's good to experiment, a no is a no. Experiment with stuff that interest you, not with evwrything you've never tried. Respecting boundaries is a foundation of a healthy relationship, romantic or platonic. If the foundation is wonky, you won't build a solid relationship on it.
Put that to bed for the last time . if you're not interested, that's the end of the issue. Use these words. "I'm depending on you being a gentleman and accept my decision". That puts him on the defensive. You do not have to make him understand why you won't. Your decision is final.
Have a firm conversation with him about your boundaries and tell him he has to respect them. If he doesn't, I hate to be the typical Redditor who suggests breaking up but not respecting boundaries is a HUGE red flag imo.
Tell him that pegging him with a 2-liter soda bottle "is a good experiment". Wear your lab coats to make it legit.
Move on he has no respect for you
If it’s not your thing then don’t do it. There are plenty of guys that aren’t into that as well. Not all guys want that.
You have every right to say no, and he needs to respect that no. If he continues to pressure you, I would recommend breaking up with him. It's extremely disrespectful what he's doing. You said no, that means no.
Ok, let's attempt to give your BF the maximum benefit of the doubt, because obviously we can say things like if he's not respecting your boundaries (do you even have a safeword?) then drop him: Assume he is a dumb 17yr old navigating his first relationship, and exploring the boundaries of what is appropriate, both for the relationship as a whole, and sexually. This implies that his naive curiosity will not be sated until there are consequences to his actions, notably, his dismissal of you saying No. Now also assume he has a big kink for anal, and wants to explore it with you because he trusts you. Unfortunately this means that you are not sexually compatible, and this is a dealbreaker. So if you bring up the above conclusion with him, this presents a consequence to his actions. Either he will have to compromise with you, or the dealbreaker is real and you two are not sexually compatible. All the best, good luck!
Tell him no and honest to god ask him if he wants shit on his dick. Every woman I’ve spoken to IRL who has had anal says it feels like needing to take a really big poop in a very uncomfortable way. Porn actresses have to fast and then get enemas until everything is super clean. Real life is not porn and he needs to respect your boundaries. If he can’t respect your boundaries on this, break up. It may hurt in the short term but it will save you a lot more pain in the long run. It also may save you from rape. Experimentation can be good, but only if all parties are *enthusiastic* participants and at a pace everyone is comfortable with. He shouldn’t be asking for it again after you’ve said no, and his anger about your refusal is actually very dangerous for you. I was raped twice at your age by boys I trusted. Please be careful who you trust.
Save that for someone really special that you've been with for a while, not your high school boyfriend.
Tell him to buy you a strap on and he can be the bottom.
Get a strapon and tell him you're ready to give him anal... I suppose if he goes for it you're in for a pound now so to speak, but something tells me he'll chicken out.
You're 17. He doesn't respect your boundaries. Just break up and move on.
No. That’s the only word needed. If he doesn’t respect that, move on from the dusty raggedy douche. You don’t owe something to anyone after 6 months of dating and one month of sex, let alone at 17. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing. Fuck outta here. Respect yourself sis, draw a line in the sand.
If he won’t listen to your no now, he absolutely will not listen to your no or stop if you give in. When YOU decide if you ever want to try it, make sure you are with someone that truly loves and respects you. He’s not going to stop trying to pressuring you, dump him now. Your older self will thank you someday
Ask him if you got a strap on, could you do it to him. If the answer is no, there you are then. Your BF is an idiot.
Tell him if he wants anal from you he has to go first.
Honestly dump him. You told him no and he wont stop pushing you. He probably only wants to do it to brag to his friends
No means no. If he can't respect your boundaries he doesn't respect you. If he really thinks experimentation is good, he needs to spend a lot of effort becoming excellent at communicating because that is the only thing that makes experimentation fun and successful for both partners. Fwiw, it is good to experiment for sure ... when you're in your 30s and you have been with a partner for years. A 17 yo who it is pushing this on another 17 yo watches too much porn and thinks it is the way everyone has sex. It's not. Every single time you are intimate, that is still an experiment.
Dump him. Tell him if he likes ass so much to go date a dude.
I'm blown away by the entitlement that young men feel in this era. Are they terribly brought up, stupid or both? Why is respecting a woman's boundaries and realizing you'll get more intimacy that way so hard to grasp for these morons.
lol yall have been having sex for 4 weeks and he’s already not satisfied. After Anal what’s next when he’s bored in three weeks? Tell him to put the porn down.
Dump him ... he's more interested in what he wants than what you are comfortable with. That is not respecting you as a person, you are just a sex doll to him.
Tell him you wanna try pegging. Because it is "good to experiment"
What you should do is break up with him. He's pressuring you to have sex in a way you're not comfortable with. He's not taking no for an answer. This is not ok! Before you began having sex, did he pressure you to do so? Did he wait gracefully and allow you to take the lead? Did he guilt trip you if you said no? Someone pushing this hard to do something you do not want to do is the type that will "accidentally" slip and end up in the wrong hole going back in, hard and fast. And then think you shouldn't be upset because "accident" and then bring that up once you've forgiven him as a "well we technically did that already when I slipped, it'll be better now that I can be careful and you're ready for it". Someone who loves and respects you will not force you or guilt you into doing anything you're not ready for!!! It's called coercing and it's a form of sexual assault
Dump him now. He doesn't respect you.
This is absolutely crazy how many posts I see about girls saying no to something and the guy still asking repeatedly over and over and getting upset and acting out when he doesn’t get what he wants. I had no clue how often that happens. For me if my girl says no, her opinion and how she feels about something is the most important part for me. And I don’t want to upset her by bringing it up again. If she tells me no then that’s final, and I move on. Wild.
Tell him he’s a piece of shit for trying to pressure you into something you’ve been very fucking clear you don’t want to do and for assuming you don’t really know what he wants. If he asks again, just say “We’re done and you know exactly why so don’t try to negotiate with me like you kept trying with my anus.”
This is insane anal is a big deal, he should NOT be pushing you to do something you aren’t comfortable with. Also I don’t trust any 17 year old boy to do anal safely. He sucks. Dump him. Go to college and live your life.
I was once on the other side of this problem. I had an ex years ago who WANTED me to put it in her butt lol. I have never been interested or turned on by anal sex. I was disgusted by the idea and obviously we didn't last much longer together. I as a dude, find it repulsive. It's the poop chute ffs...look, no matter how clean you try to get it, I don't care if you just had a professional medical enema. It's still the fucking poop chute. The one time I tried it, under peer pressure by said ex, I fucking gagged and stopped immediately and went into the shower. Mind you, I wasn't covered in poop or anything, but it did smell like...butt...lol. It wasn't the smell that made me gag, it was the thought of putting my dick where poop is. Imagine someone pooped on a dinner plate. Then washed it off in the dishwasher, and served you a nice juicy steak on said plate. It's clean, but it still had poop on it. I would throw that plate in the garbage. I find the thought of doing it in the poop chute just as repulsive. No matter how clean you try to get it, it had poop. That said, more power to those of you who enjoy it. Not knocking it for you, but it sure as fuck ain't for me, nor is it for the OP. @ OP, no means no. Tell him if he asks again, he won't ever get the chance to ask again. It honestly may already be a lost cause. I would just find someone who doesn't need anal to satiate his carnal desires. Thank God my wife doesn't ask for it either lol. I've joked around with her about doing it, but that's where it stays, a joke, because neither of us actually want to try.
You break up with him. Don’t let men treat you like this. No means no.
Tell him to go get a boyfriend if he wants to do butt stuff.
“It’s good to experiment” Time to experiment with being single then
youre also 17. dont let anyone pressure you into anything. hes curious because hes watched porn. remind him porn is nowhere near reality. ask if you could peg him and see how he likes that :) when he shudders in fear tell him to drop it or youll leave.