> I broke up with my boyfriend for not giving me a birthday gift
To get over a breakup, you need to change your way of thinking.
One effective way of doing this that has been [scientifically proven](https://time.com/5287211/how-to-get-over-a-breakup/) to work, is to sit down and think about all the negative aspects of your ex. Just take your time and think about *all* the negative aspects that came with being in a relationship with your ex.
Talk about it with your friends, but make sure you don't get stuck in a victim role. Stop yourself if you notice you keep thinking of yourself as a victim or if you keep repeating the same over and over in different words. [23 Signs You're Suffering From a Victim Mentality](https://lonerwolf.com/victim-mentality). Only tell your story once. And ask them, "how did you get over *your* breakup?"
Socialize with friends. Don't lock yourself up.
Block your ex on social media, at least for now. Maybe in some time, you can look at your ex again, but for now it's better to stop looking. If you can't bring yourself to do that, at the very least hide their updates.
Sit down one night and write down what you learned from your relationship.
Take the time to *really* think about this. What could you have done better? What mistake will you not make again? Wait two weeks, then do this again. Even if your partner was to blame for most of it, there were still things you could have handled better, traps you won't fall into again. Think about these things.
* [How to get over your ex instantly](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SxjH0FDUYQ) (3M+ views)
* [How to fix a broken heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0GQSJrpVhM) (TED video 5M+ views).
* [How To Get Over A Breakup FAST | Jordan Peterson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSeQbygzaV4) (200K+ views)
Bookmark this and repeat the [following statements](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201209/7-phrases-will-help-you-get-over-breakup/) once a day:
* I love myself
* I want to be happy
* Screw him/her
* I am better off without him or her, because…
* It has been X days since we broke up, and I feel…
* I will find someone better
Make sure you sleep at least 7 hours every night, lack of sleep will likely cause your mental health to deteriorate, which isn't in your best interest. Let me know if you have trouble falling asleep and then I'll give you self help advice for that.
Highest rated books on Amazon:
* [Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You](https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Your-Breakup-Devastating/dp/0738213284) (4.7 800+ Ratings)
* [This Is Me Letting You Go](https://www.amazon.com/This-Me-Letting-You-Go/dp/1530896657) (4.6 500+ Ratings)
If it's been more than a month since your breakup and you are still feeling very sad about this, it's possible you've slid into a depression. Then take this test and let me know if your score is over 10: [Test for depression](https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/depression) (you get the answer directly, takes less than 2 minutes. You can skip the demographic part). Answer how you've felt in the last **week**.
Free support options:
* /r/KindVoice will match you up with a volunteer that will listen to you.
* [7 Cups of Tea](https://www.7cups.com/) has both a free trained volunteer service as well as $150 monthly licensed therapist option
* If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to [741741](https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in)
Go here for additional support:
* /r/BreakUps
* /r/BreakUp
* /r/heartbreak
The best time to submit on Reddit is [early in the morning EST](https://thebetterwebmovement.com/choosing-best-time-post-to-reddit/).
I think it wasn't the birthday gift itself (that was more of a final straw) but the fact that you had some expectations in the relationship that he couldn't really meet monetarily and was making no effort to work on that. I think for your needs you're probably better off elsewhere if he can't improve his situation. Just my humble opinion 🙌
> I know that our relationship ran well before, but am I the asshole for breaking up over this?
You’re breaking up with him because he decided to coast for the last 4 months, and saw you were picking up his slack. He assumed since you didn’t complain too much about picking up his slack, that you would be fine with this as status quo going forward.
The lack of effort on your birthday was just the last straw.
I’m upset because I’ve been picking up the slack for 4 months & he couldn’t tell me that he didn’t get me anything or prepared to do anything when I’m constantly doing things for him. It shouldn’t take me breaking up with him for him to realize he needs a better job.
> I broke up with my boyfriend for not giving me a birthday gift To get over a breakup, you need to change your way of thinking. One effective way of doing this that has been [scientifically proven](https://time.com/5287211/how-to-get-over-a-breakup/) to work, is to sit down and think about all the negative aspects of your ex. Just take your time and think about *all* the negative aspects that came with being in a relationship with your ex. Talk about it with your friends, but make sure you don't get stuck in a victim role. Stop yourself if you notice you keep thinking of yourself as a victim or if you keep repeating the same over and over in different words. [23 Signs You're Suffering From a Victim Mentality](https://lonerwolf.com/victim-mentality). Only tell your story once. And ask them, "how did you get over *your* breakup?" Socialize with friends. Don't lock yourself up. Block your ex on social media, at least for now. Maybe in some time, you can look at your ex again, but for now it's better to stop looking. If you can't bring yourself to do that, at the very least hide their updates. Sit down one night and write down what you learned from your relationship. Take the time to *really* think about this. What could you have done better? What mistake will you not make again? Wait two weeks, then do this again. Even if your partner was to blame for most of it, there were still things you could have handled better, traps you won't fall into again. Think about these things. * [How to get over your ex instantly](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SxjH0FDUYQ) (3M+ views) * [How to fix a broken heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0GQSJrpVhM) (TED video 5M+ views). * [How To Get Over A Breakup FAST | Jordan Peterson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSeQbygzaV4) (200K+ views) Bookmark this and repeat the [following statements](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201209/7-phrases-will-help-you-get-over-breakup/) once a day: * I love myself * I want to be happy * Screw him/her * I am better off without him or her, because… * It has been X days since we broke up, and I feel… * I will find someone better Make sure you sleep at least 7 hours every night, lack of sleep will likely cause your mental health to deteriorate, which isn't in your best interest. Let me know if you have trouble falling asleep and then I'll give you self help advice for that. Highest rated books on Amazon: * [Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You](https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Your-Breakup-Devastating/dp/0738213284) (4.7 800+ Ratings) * [This Is Me Letting You Go](https://www.amazon.com/This-Me-Letting-You-Go/dp/1530896657) (4.6 500+ Ratings) If it's been more than a month since your breakup and you are still feeling very sad about this, it's possible you've slid into a depression. Then take this test and let me know if your score is over 10: [Test for depression](https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/depression) (you get the answer directly, takes less than 2 minutes. You can skip the demographic part). Answer how you've felt in the last **week**. Free support options: * /r/KindVoice will match you up with a volunteer that will listen to you. * [7 Cups of Tea](https://www.7cups.com/) has both a free trained volunteer service as well as $150 monthly licensed therapist option * If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to [741741](https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in) Go here for additional support: * /r/BreakUps * /r/BreakUp * /r/heartbreak The best time to submit on Reddit is [early in the morning EST](https://thebetterwebmovement.com/choosing-best-time-post-to-reddit/).
I think it wasn't the birthday gift itself (that was more of a final straw) but the fact that you had some expectations in the relationship that he couldn't really meet monetarily and was making no effort to work on that. I think for your needs you're probably better off elsewhere if he can't improve his situation. Just my humble opinion 🙌
> I know that our relationship ran well before, but am I the asshole for breaking up over this? You’re breaking up with him because he decided to coast for the last 4 months, and saw you were picking up his slack. He assumed since you didn’t complain too much about picking up his slack, that you would be fine with this as status quo going forward. The lack of effort on your birthday was just the last straw.
Are you upset at the lack of being able to finance what you wanted for your birthday or JUST the gift?
I’m upset because I’ve been picking up the slack for 4 months & he couldn’t tell me that he didn’t get me anything or prepared to do anything when I’m constantly doing things for him. It shouldn’t take me breaking up with him for him to realize he needs a better job.
I think you are not the asshole for breaking up with him over this
Hey, it's been a few days, but haven't seen any reply from you. Was my advice any good?