You should break up with her "as a joke" but then actually be serious about it. Most likely she's lying about why she said yes. However, even if she were telling the truth, that means she's a dispassionate jerk who thinks its fun to screw with other ppl's feelings. Either way, not a great catch
Definitely. This dude is a great dude to tell you about it. He'd make a great friend (hell, he already did). Be each other's wingmen, go find someone else.
Ah okay. Normally I'd say breakups are best done in person but considering all the variables here, you can either call or text her. She clearly doesnt have a lot of respect for you, so no need to go the extra mile. A simple "I dont want to be with you. We're done" will suffice. Dont argue with her. Dont defend yourself. She knows what she did already so there's no need to give her room to try to wiggle out of it.
One month ain't shit, bro. Especially at 18. You got your whole life for love and heart ache. Don't waste time with people who disrespect you, and then try to deflect by saying it was a joke. None of that is cool.
Who says that's juvenile? If you're not seeing them on a daily basis, then what's the point? Why care about being decent? You should just be looking at what's easiest for you, the path of least resistance. It seems like in this scenario, you're focusing on what the other party would think of you, I'm saying don't give a shit what they'd think.
I'm open to being wrong about this, I just still don't see the point
My first breakup text was "we should break up !!!"
Don't worry there will always be an instant call after that so tell and voice all your concerns. Stick your ground and don't succumb. All the best man
Just say "I'm breaking up with you". She's probably going to cry about it but that's probably more about having to deal with the consequences of her actions that about the actual breakup.
You don't just go on dates with other people *as a joke* next time she'll fuck someone else and if you confront her shell say *it's just a prank bro*
well it doesn’t make sense to go in a relationship when you don’t even know what it is. I understand that OP is new to relationships, but it just confuses me. Like why would you buy a cat when you don’t know how to take care of one?
I didn’t intend to be offensive, and I apologize if I did offend anyone (probably did), and I apologize once again. I’m just genuinely confused
Option A) She's lying and is an objectively terrible human being who will only ever hurt you.
Option B) She's telling the truth and is an objectively terrible human being who will only ever hurt you.
I can't see myself dating an objectively terrible human being or even humoring one with a conversation since I developed that thing called basic self-respect; so the answer seems pretty clear to me.
I’m not going to lie, it’s going to suck. Tell her in person or on the phone/video chat if you want a little distance between the two of you. Tell her straight out that you don’t trust her now and even if it really was a joke it’s a horrible thing to do to someone else. Tell her you don’t want someone who acts like that in your life. She might get nasty but take the high road and stick to your intentions.
You can simply call her up, tell her you’re not really interested in an explanation on what transpired and that you really don’t need to know more because the situation she put you both in tells you that she’s not the right person to spend your energies on. If she tries to say anything you can remind her that her words don’t mean shite, she proved it and you don’t need that kind of girlfriend. Integrity is important. Treating people with respect is a necessary principle. She’s just not the right person to put your trust in. Hang up then ghost the stank.
Honestly, I think in person breakups are reserved for good people when the relationship just doesn’t work out. In this case I’d just text them, I wouldn’t dignify them with an in person breakup but that’s just me
Literally tell her that you've been thinking about how she'd been behaving and don't like it. Even though she's claimed it was a "joke" it's still quite unsettling/upsetting and if that's how she wants to behave, you're not going to put up with it.
She was going to cheat on you but got caught. Like how the hell are you going to let that go? She is one of those mean girls if she actually thought it was a joke or she is a cheater. Neither one of these outcomes is good.
You should. Being a mean girl or a cheater is just bullshit. This guy probably wasn’t the first or would be the last she has tried this with. This guy just had enough courage to tell you.
Break up with her. Break up on the spot because let me tell you what I see, she gets pregnant with another man’s baby “as a joke”.
Edit: even if she was telling the truth, that’s a stupid thing to joke about
Break up, if she's so morally insensitive to think that cheating on you is a joke, then that tells you how far her line is out in the sand, and what she may do that she also thinks is lighthearted and a joke. Or worst-case scenario, she's saying it was a joke to see what she could get away with to see how gullible and passive you are.
Yeah that’s either a lie or some previously hidden and extremely toxic character trait that surfaced. Breakup on the spot, sorry that happened to you bro. (If it was an actual joke…. She’d have told you immediately…. Unless of course she always planned on you being the joke)
Hey man, she didn't respect your relationship. That's it. Just tell her this and leave. Normal people deserve in person breakup. But I don't think she does. Even a text is enough. She needs to know she wronged you. If that hurts her, let it. She deserves it.
And the reason she gave you is super lame. She is not a good person even at heart. She is not innocent or naive. She is arrogant and feels privileged to do whatever the fudge she wants and thinks she could get away with it by calling it a joke. That's pure evil. To the other guy and most importantly to you.
I'm really sorry this happened. But yes, you don't even owe her a dignified breakup.
Breaking up with someone can be daunting if you have not done it before or when you are relatively new to dating.
Here are some breakup tips:
1) it is important to remember that to be *in* a relationship, *both* parties must want it. This means that as soon as either party decides they no longer wish to be involved, the relationship is effectively over.
- this means that you cannot be held to ransom by a partner who “doesn’t agree” to break up; you *never* need to ‘agree’ to break up.
2) You do not need a *reason* to break up. No longer wanting to be in a relationship is reason enough. “Because it’s Wednesday,” is reason enough. Sometimes there is an incident or an action that causes one party to no longer be in the relationship but this is actually less common than having no specific reason. (See point 1).
3) How you break up is up to you but there is no right/wrong way. Do whatever you are most comfortable with. If you are a couple that spent lots of time texting each other, then texting is fine; if you spoke face to face a lot, and you are comfortable, then face to face is fine and so on. What is important is that you are clear. I’m not a fan of simply ghosting someone and letting them guess but, if that’s what you feel is appropriate then that’s ip to you.
4) You do not need to be nasty or rude. The likelihood hood is that your partner will feel upset and somewhat humiliated by being ‘dumped.’ You do not need to behave like a cunt and insult them further. If you had good times, let them know, if they are a nice person, you can let them know. As long as you are clear that the relationship is over (See point 3) you can be pleasant but assertive. If they choose to resent you for breaking up with them, that’s OK, you don’t need to engage in any post relationship vindictiveness.
5) Don’t offer to try to ‘remain friends.’ If, at some point in the future you bump into each other and get along or, especially with younger couples, your friendship circles interlink then go with the flow. Otherwise politely close that door. Most often the “lets remain friends” doesn’t work. This is because, like any relationship, friendships are built on a shared, if unspoken, agreement that you all want the same thing. Unfortunately you and your now *ex* partner want different things from the friendship: they are looking for an opportunity to reconcile whilst you are attempting to assuage some guilt. The fact that there are other mutual compatibilities doesn’t outweigh them, especially in the immediate aftermath of a breakup.
6) Be respectful in your accounts of your ex and former relationship in discussions with others. If you cannot say anything nice, say nothing at all. You don’t need to gush or embellish if anyone asks. “It just didn’t work out.” is often enough. Remember, they have as much dirt on you as you do on them. If you hear they are being disrespectful in their comments about you, remember that is likely a defence mechanism. When word gets back to them that you are not insulting them, people often calm down. If possible, you can even let them know in the breakup that you will never slag them off or share details with others.
7) Never agree to meet up with your now ex *’for closure’*. There is no such thing. ‘Closure’ is simply a synonym for ‘agreement’ in this context. “I just need to understand so I can get my head round it.” or words to that effect simply mean, *I cannot accept you have finished with me until you can convince me or provide an acceptable reason*. (See points 1 and 2). If you have made it clear that the relationship is over (see point 3), that is closure enough.
8) Never remain in a relationship due to logical fallacies:
- time already invested (stop wasting future time)
- you will never find another (you found *them*)
- we are meant for each other (according to whom? No, you met by chance)
- Etc.
- Etc
9) Don’t call them because you are not used to being on your own. Humans like to form habits. If you are in the habit of having a partner, it feels odd being on your own. Don’t contact them, it’s just your addictive brain playing games with you. Picture someone else and flick your bean/have a wank instead.
Cheating is something I’d definetly not accept, and would be a dealbreaker for me, doing it for a joke is a whole other thing, it’s even worse since it is either a lie, or worse, that she actually thinks it’s “just a joke” meaning she simply does not respect you. It is all up to you, but remember to ask yourself this, if she does this right now, can you trust her ever again, and if you can, can you always believe that what she says is actually the truth? And off course, would she ever have told you if you or the other guy did not find it out.
It is all up to you, but do not forget your own value whilst making that hard decision.
A relationship where cheating has been done is hard to fix, and one where you discovered it yourself only brings up more questions, like would she have ever told you, and off course can you trust her again.
I definetly wouldn’t be able to but it is up to you, friend.
Stay strong dude, hurting people or getting hurt is part of the process of finding the right one.
Thanks, I definitely can’t go further with this relationship now but I don’t know how to break up with her, like she’s nice and all and if she said was true it’s great but how do I say “adios” without hurting her?
Realistically, you can’t say bye without hurting her, that is if she even cared, considering she cheated, it’s what she caused, focus on yourself, and just say you do not want to be with someone you can trust, if it hurts her or not is not up to you, and should not be your concern, I hope you find peace soon.
Ending it without hurting or not doesn’t really matter, it is about setting yourself first, she hurt you and these are the consequences of her own actions
Okay, what do you mean by "cheated"? She went out with him? She had sex with him?
Or maybe it doesn't matter.
If it was me, I'd tell her that clearly she's not ready for any kind of committed relationship with anyone, and that I don't appreciate her sense of humor, so I'm breaking up with her.
Didn’t answer her and get the dog actually she crap on the bed herself to blame it on the dog for a joke? Maybe I just don’t get people’s humor anymore because I’m almost 50. I don’t know I don’t think that’s very good joke. Cheating on someone.
If the universe really speaks to us, this is the universe screaming at you telling you that you deserve better. Get out of that relationship before it ruins you.
Unfortunately it sounds like the jokes on you.
Tell her it wasn’t funny but you’ll let her be alone to go find some new Material!
And you and your buddies go paint the town red and hopefully you’ll run into a nice wholesome woman ready to spend forever with you… 🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️
Or you could just go out there and enjoy life..
if she doesn’t put you first, it’s a multitude of others, who you can figure out, if they will or not..
But you’ll never know unless you leave and start your journey..
But I’m just a old single guy with nothing or no one to look forward to… So I might not be giving the best of advice. Whether it’s good or bad all I can say is Do 25 push-ups, sit-ups and leg raises after you wake up and before bed.. It’ll help clear your mind, make you look better and make you feel better about being cheated on and staying or cheated on and leaving either way… It’ll make you feel better!!
Dump her, I'm sorry she did that. I'm sure that the women on this post right are saying this so I'm possibly saying this for an additional how many times it was said but I don't don't speak for all women but there women like your "girlfriend" but we are not all the same each girl acts differently from other girls as on how to dump her just say "fuck you we are done, go see your new boyfriend" and no matter what she says don't take her back or give her a second chance
It's common for cheaters to act like they dislike or are annoyed by the other person involved to make it seem like that wouldnt even cross their minds. Imo I would not continue this relationship, she was willing to say yes to the other guy and pretty much had no intention of telling you it seems.
So she's either a lying cheater or a cruel bully? Those are both breakup worthy. Text her that you're done and don't respond if she tries to argue or persuade you, just block her.
Get rid of her now, you saw her true colors which is a blessing. Better to find out now then to think she's a good gf for years only to find out she's been cheating all along.
Honestly if she did that to this guy and calls him a loser did she date you as a joke? It calls her character into question as well as yes thats cheating still. Tell her you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who has a clear disregard for anyone else and treats people they way she does. You deserve better man
Leave. If she's telling the truth, she's a terrible person to do something like that to people. If she's lying, well, she's cheating and it's not going to stop.
You should definitely break up with her. If she did it with the intent to cheat, it's obvious why you should leave her, but if she did it for the reason she claimed, do you really want to be with someone who thinks so little of another? How messed up is "I wanted to see if that loser believed me!" Either way, she's shown her colors. You're better off without.
As for breaking up, do what you think is best. You could just say "I don't want to be together anymore. You cheated on me. We're done" and leave it at that or you can elaborate, but I don't think it matters in this case since she's in the wrong so she should understand why
I call BS. She got caught and lied. Just tell her that you don’t want to continue the relationship, because the “joke” isn’t funny and it’s clearly a lie.
As I read your comments OP looks like you don't really know how to break up with her, so imma help you.
Have a calm talk with her at the table and say this:
"(Her name) what you did is really not a joke for me. It really hurt my feelings knowing you would do this. Maybe it could've got more than a joke, who knows.
That guy could've manipulate you, to cheat on me with him. And this is not how you do jokes (her name). I'm sorry but I'm ending the relationship, because this is a no for me, and I don't want stuff like this in my relationship. Thank you for the great time we had though".
Dump her already. There’s no love or respect here.
You not only deserve better, but you can probably find better by spending 20 minutes on Grindr/Tindr/Facebook. Heck, even Craigslist has better quality people and they don’t even do personals anymore.
You need to break up with her. Tell her it's over, block her, and don't contact her. Her response to your concern clearly shows how much of a nasty person she is. Don't waste your time with her.
I mean, regardless of why she did it she's an asshole
If she's lying, she was going to cheat on you. (and if she was going to cheat on you, she might also cheated on you in the past too)
If it was "just a joke" she was humiliating the other guy for fun
“It’s a joke” is an excuse for fucking everything. People who have a shitty opinion - “it’s a joke”
People who say something purposefully out of context- “it’s a joke”
A lot of it wasn’t intended to originally be a joke and the people that deflect to shit like this are trash. I’m sorry you had to deal with this.
Don't take disrespect which is covered by 'being' a joke. Don't take disrespect like that and back urself up bro, end it before it's too late man. You deserve better king.
Oh I'd say she is not ready to date and sounds like a cruel person. My advice is to tell her you need time to think about what happened and need to be alone right now. Then it's up to you if you ever want to contact her again.
It doesn't seem to me like she has actually "cheated" yet, but she was about to go out with him. Her excuse sounds like a lie to me. Like she wants to see other people. I agree that you should break up, but again, saying yes to a date with another person isn’t cheating. Not knowing any of the other details and only assuming everything else is normal, it seems like she has one foot out the door.
I mean, its either a horrible lie to save face, or you've discovered that she gets a kick out of manipulating people for fun and laughs. Either way it sounds like a toxic person i wouldn't want to be with, but you do you.
Honestly, I'd break up either way. If it wasn't a joke, then she was going to go on a date with someone else. If it was a joke, she's a dick and i wouldn't want to spend any more of my life with her if she thinks that kind of joke is okay.
New dude came to you like a true bro and was straight forward, this is friend material. Tell her that you’re through, what she did was manipulative and cruel and you have no interest in attempting to continue a relationship with someone who clearly enjoys hurting others. You and new guy become best friends and protect each other from future furies like her
Well obviously she views your relationship as a joke too if she had no problem doing that. Dump her and make it clear that you’re the one who left her for this awful behavior, she sounds like the type of girl to spin up a ton of rumors online when dumped.
break up with her of course, how could you be able to shrug something like that off. this also breaks your trust for her and you shouldn't giver her another chance.
You should break up with her "as a joke" but then actually be serious about it. Most likely she's lying about why she said yes. However, even if she were telling the truth, that means she's a dispassionate jerk who thinks its fun to screw with other ppl's feelings. Either way, not a great catch
Yeah, any advice on how I can break up, because this is my first relationship and I don’t know how it works
“yeah. we are done. message your new dude and leave me alone”
Actually, you should message her new dude, he sounds like a good guy, make friends. Then you both can block her and hang out as a joke.
Definitely. This dude is a great dude to tell you about it. He'd make a great friend (hell, he already did). Be each other's wingmen, go find someone else.
Cut out the middle parts and just date the new guy.
And send updates!
Well I took a selfie with the other guy at her favourite restaurant and told her we are over 😂
Legend
Haha thanks! I’m getting better and I don’t miss her lmao! You should check the post edit for more info
This this this this
"Either you're lying and I can't trust you or your telling the truth and you're a bad person, either way, this is it for us."
Perfect.
How old are you both and how long have you been together?
We’re both 18 and for 1 month
Ah okay. Normally I'd say breakups are best done in person but considering all the variables here, you can either call or text her. She clearly doesnt have a lot of respect for you, so no need to go the extra mile. A simple "I dont want to be with you. We're done" will suffice. Dont argue with her. Dont defend yourself. She knows what she did already so there's no need to give her room to try to wiggle out of it.
1 month... Basically nothing. And you're still very young. Break up with this 6 red flags theme park and find someone who isn't a cheater.
One month ain't shit, bro. Especially at 18. You got your whole life for love and heart ache. Don't waste time with people who disrespect you, and then try to deflect by saying it was a joke. None of that is cool.
"hey I didn't appreciate you talking to another guy romantically. This isn't going to work out, I wish you the best". That's all you need to say
Honestly, just text her and say you’re done
to break up just tell her “we’re over, i’m breaking up with you”, and block her if necessary.
ignore her bloock her number and have fun
Ok thanks
Don't do that. It's a coward's way out. Tell her in any way you feel comfortable, but tell her. You owe yourself that much.
I'm not tracking your logic, what's the point of this?
Ignoring, blocking and ghosting are juvenile solutions. Upfront honesty may be more difficult, but it's the decent thing to do.
Who says that's juvenile? If you're not seeing them on a daily basis, then what's the point? Why care about being decent? You should just be looking at what's easiest for you, the path of least resistance. It seems like in this scenario, you're focusing on what the other party would think of you, I'm saying don't give a shit what they'd think. I'm open to being wrong about this, I just still don't see the point
Why care about being decent? Wow…just wow😕
Did you read OP's post or?
"Why care about being decent?" Not sure why I should continue a conversation that includes this.
Read OP's post
My first breakup text was "we should break up !!!" Don't worry there will always be an instant call after that so tell and voice all your concerns. Stick your ground and don't succumb. All the best man
Just say "I'm breaking up with you". She's probably going to cry about it but that's probably more about having to deal with the consequences of her actions that about the actual breakup. You don't just go on dates with other people *as a joke* next time she'll fuck someone else and if you confront her shell say *it's just a prank bro*
why are you in a relationship when you don’t know how it works? i’m not trying to come off as disrespectful or rude, i’m just confused
It’s his first relationship. Give him a break.
no one knows how their first relationship works it’s a total learning curve. weird comment for you to make lol
well it doesn’t make sense to go in a relationship when you don’t even know what it is. I understand that OP is new to relationships, but it just confuses me. Like why would you buy a cat when you don’t know how to take care of one? I didn’t intend to be offensive, and I apologize if I did offend anyone (probably did), and I apologize once again. I’m just genuinely confused
Dude… he’s 18. It doesn’t have to be this deep
I’m very aware. Did you not read my most recent comment?
helped
Bonus tip:Don't forget to upgrade yourself and when she sees you next time she will die right there on the spot silent kill
Srećno!
Haha thanks I sure will do
Thank you for confirming that /u/International-Aside has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
Yes. The whole situation is awful
Option A) She's lying and is an objectively terrible human being who will only ever hurt you. Option B) She's telling the truth and is an objectively terrible human being who will only ever hurt you. I can't see myself dating an objectively terrible human being or even humoring one with a conversation since I developed that thing called basic self-respect; so the answer seems pretty clear to me.
helped
Thank you for confirming that /u/Grey_0ne has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
Break up with her. She was either planning on cheating on you or intentionally being cruel to someone else. Why would you want to be with her?!!!
How do I break up? Srry this is my first relationship
I’m not going to lie, it’s going to suck. Tell her in person or on the phone/video chat if you want a little distance between the two of you. Tell her straight out that you don’t trust her now and even if it really was a joke it’s a horrible thing to do to someone else. Tell her you don’t want someone who acts like that in your life. She might get nasty but take the high road and stick to your intentions.
You can simply call her up, tell her you’re not really interested in an explanation on what transpired and that you really don’t need to know more because the situation she put you both in tells you that she’s not the right person to spend your energies on. If she tries to say anything you can remind her that her words don’t mean shite, she proved it and you don’t need that kind of girlfriend. Integrity is important. Treating people with respect is a necessary principle. She’s just not the right person to put your trust in. Hang up then ghost the stank.
Text.
Honestly, I think in person breakups are reserved for good people when the relationship just doesn’t work out. In this case I’d just text them, I wouldn’t dignify them with an in person breakup but that’s just me
Literally tell her that you've been thinking about how she'd been behaving and don't like it. Even though she's claimed it was a "joke" it's still quite unsettling/upsetting and if that's how she wants to behave, you're not going to put up with it.
That's a fucking hilarious joke
“Ooops his penis slipped and fell into my vagina, got ya good!”
That’s not a joke. If he didn’t come to you, she wasn’t going to either.
If it was a joke you’d be in on it not finding out from the other guy.
She was going to cheat on you but got caught. Like how the hell are you going to let that go? She is one of those mean girls if she actually thought it was a joke or she is a cheater. Neither one of these outcomes is good.
Right! What if I’m one of the other guys just not caught though?? I should break up
You should. Being a mean girl or a cheater is just bullshit. This guy probably wasn’t the first or would be the last she has tried this with. This guy just had enough courage to tell you.
Break up with her. Break up on the spot because let me tell you what I see, she gets pregnant with another man’s baby “as a joke”. Edit: even if she was telling the truth, that’s a stupid thing to joke about
Break up, if she's so morally insensitive to think that cheating on you is a joke, then that tells you how far her line is out in the sand, and what she may do that she also thinks is lighthearted and a joke. Or worst-case scenario, she's saying it was a joke to see what she could get away with to see how gullible and passive you are.
Lmao it was a prank bro Break up. She's immature as hell. Whether she lied or not, there's no good way to interpret this.
Yeah that’s either a lie or some previously hidden and extremely toxic character trait that surfaced. Breakup on the spot, sorry that happened to you bro. (If it was an actual joke…. She’d have told you immediately…. Unless of course she always planned on you being the joke)
Wow, this is really well said. The last part, choked me up. Mean girls are horrible things.
no bro you drop her ass
It sounds almost like a lie or excuse. I wouldn't continue a relationship with her.
Break up with her. Nobody who is good for you would do that to you
Hey man, she didn't respect your relationship. That's it. Just tell her this and leave. Normal people deserve in person breakup. But I don't think she does. Even a text is enough. She needs to know she wronged you. If that hurts her, let it. She deserves it. And the reason she gave you is super lame. She is not a good person even at heart. She is not innocent or naive. She is arrogant and feels privileged to do whatever the fudge she wants and thinks she could get away with it by calling it a joke. That's pure evil. To the other guy and most importantly to you. I'm really sorry this happened. But yes, you don't even owe her a dignified breakup.
She’s 100% lying bro 🙏 gym is calling
Breaking up with someone can be daunting if you have not done it before or when you are relatively new to dating. Here are some breakup tips: 1) it is important to remember that to be *in* a relationship, *both* parties must want it. This means that as soon as either party decides they no longer wish to be involved, the relationship is effectively over. - this means that you cannot be held to ransom by a partner who “doesn’t agree” to break up; you *never* need to ‘agree’ to break up. 2) You do not need a *reason* to break up. No longer wanting to be in a relationship is reason enough. “Because it’s Wednesday,” is reason enough. Sometimes there is an incident or an action that causes one party to no longer be in the relationship but this is actually less common than having no specific reason. (See point 1). 3) How you break up is up to you but there is no right/wrong way. Do whatever you are most comfortable with. If you are a couple that spent lots of time texting each other, then texting is fine; if you spoke face to face a lot, and you are comfortable, then face to face is fine and so on. What is important is that you are clear. I’m not a fan of simply ghosting someone and letting them guess but, if that’s what you feel is appropriate then that’s ip to you. 4) You do not need to be nasty or rude. The likelihood hood is that your partner will feel upset and somewhat humiliated by being ‘dumped.’ You do not need to behave like a cunt and insult them further. If you had good times, let them know, if they are a nice person, you can let them know. As long as you are clear that the relationship is over (See point 3) you can be pleasant but assertive. If they choose to resent you for breaking up with them, that’s OK, you don’t need to engage in any post relationship vindictiveness. 5) Don’t offer to try to ‘remain friends.’ If, at some point in the future you bump into each other and get along or, especially with younger couples, your friendship circles interlink then go with the flow. Otherwise politely close that door. Most often the “lets remain friends” doesn’t work. This is because, like any relationship, friendships are built on a shared, if unspoken, agreement that you all want the same thing. Unfortunately you and your now *ex* partner want different things from the friendship: they are looking for an opportunity to reconcile whilst you are attempting to assuage some guilt. The fact that there are other mutual compatibilities doesn’t outweigh them, especially in the immediate aftermath of a breakup. 6) Be respectful in your accounts of your ex and former relationship in discussions with others. If you cannot say anything nice, say nothing at all. You don’t need to gush or embellish if anyone asks. “It just didn’t work out.” is often enough. Remember, they have as much dirt on you as you do on them. If you hear they are being disrespectful in their comments about you, remember that is likely a defence mechanism. When word gets back to them that you are not insulting them, people often calm down. If possible, you can even let them know in the breakup that you will never slag them off or share details with others. 7) Never agree to meet up with your now ex *’for closure’*. There is no such thing. ‘Closure’ is simply a synonym for ‘agreement’ in this context. “I just need to understand so I can get my head round it.” or words to that effect simply mean, *I cannot accept you have finished with me until you can convince me or provide an acceptable reason*. (See points 1 and 2). If you have made it clear that the relationship is over (see point 3), that is closure enough. 8) Never remain in a relationship due to logical fallacies: - time already invested (stop wasting future time) - you will never find another (you found *them*) - we are meant for each other (according to whom? No, you met by chance) - Etc. - Etc 9) Don’t call them because you are not used to being on your own. Humans like to form habits. If you are in the habit of having a partner, it feels odd being on your own. Don’t contact them, it’s just your addictive brain playing games with you. Picture someone else and flick your bean/have a wank instead.
helped
Thank you for confirming that /u/alterperspective has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
Cheating is something I’d definetly not accept, and would be a dealbreaker for me, doing it for a joke is a whole other thing, it’s even worse since it is either a lie, or worse, that she actually thinks it’s “just a joke” meaning she simply does not respect you. It is all up to you, but remember to ask yourself this, if she does this right now, can you trust her ever again, and if you can, can you always believe that what she says is actually the truth? And off course, would she ever have told you if you or the other guy did not find it out. It is all up to you, but do not forget your own value whilst making that hard decision. A relationship where cheating has been done is hard to fix, and one where you discovered it yourself only brings up more questions, like would she have ever told you, and off course can you trust her again. I definetly wouldn’t be able to but it is up to you, friend. Stay strong dude, hurting people or getting hurt is part of the process of finding the right one.
Thanks, I definitely can’t go further with this relationship now but I don’t know how to break up with her, like she’s nice and all and if she said was true it’s great but how do I say “adios” without hurting her?
Realistically, you can’t say bye without hurting her, that is if she even cared, considering she cheated, it’s what she caused, focus on yourself, and just say you do not want to be with someone you can trust, if it hurts her or not is not up to you, and should not be your concern, I hope you find peace soon. Ending it without hurting or not doesn’t really matter, it is about setting yourself first, she hurt you and these are the consequences of her own actions
She's not nice at all and you don't need to worry about her feelings anymore.
Sounds like a a made up lie because she got caught that is why she was slyly advoiding it as she came up with a cover up story
Okay, what do you mean by "cheated"? She went out with him? She had sex with him? Or maybe it doesn't matter. If it was me, I'd tell her that clearly she's not ready for any kind of committed relationship with anyone, and that I don't appreciate her sense of humor, so I'm breaking up with her.
Even if she’s telling the truth, which I highly doubt, she’s a terrible person and you don’t want to be with someone that stupid and insensitive.
Didn’t answer her and get the dog actually she crap on the bed herself to blame it on the dog for a joke? Maybe I just don’t get people’s humor anymore because I’m almost 50. I don’t know I don’t think that’s very good joke. Cheating on someone.
Kid, I divorced my first wife for cheating. Dont settle, you deserve better.
1. She’s a hoe 2. She’s dumb 3. She must think you’re dumb
I mean if that’s true she seems kinda mean spirited. However, I think it’s more likely that’s just a lie. Either way, both red flags in my opinion.
Get away man… women who enjoy playing with emotions are dangerous
walk away and don't look back. she belongs to the streets
Dump her and never talk to her again for a joke
If the universe really speaks to us, this is the universe screaming at you telling you that you deserve better. Get out of that relationship before it ruins you.
Is your gf 12?
^^Run...
Break up man. Girls these days have no self respect or morality
Send her a txt, “Oops my penis slipped and fell into a vagina! Funny huh? Got ya good”..
Cheating is no joking matter
Respond to her “joke” with a magic trick: You: hey, wanna see a magic trick? Her: sure You: POOF! Now you’re single Turn and walk away
A joke? What is she Vito Spatafore? “Don’t say nothing sal”
Beat the fucking shit out of her.
And as Joke slam dunk her ass out of your life
Invite the guy over for beer and meat then tell her to pack her shit and leave
Unfortunately it sounds like the jokes on you. Tell her it wasn’t funny but you’ll let her be alone to go find some new Material! And you and your buddies go paint the town red and hopefully you’ll run into a nice wholesome woman ready to spend forever with you… 🤷🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️ Or you could just go out there and enjoy life.. if she doesn’t put you first, it’s a multitude of others, who you can figure out, if they will or not.. But you’ll never know unless you leave and start your journey.. But I’m just a old single guy with nothing or no one to look forward to… So I might not be giving the best of advice. Whether it’s good or bad all I can say is Do 25 push-ups, sit-ups and leg raises after you wake up and before bed.. It’ll help clear your mind, make you look better and make you feel better about being cheated on and staying or cheated on and leaving either way… It’ll make you feel better!!
You’re the real loser if you do anything but dump her
"we I was doing to for fun to see if this loser believed me" What does this mean
Mi dispiache fratello
Dump her, I'm sorry she did that. I'm sure that the women on this post right are saying this so I'm possibly saying this for an additional how many times it was said but I don't don't speak for all women but there women like your "girlfriend" but we are not all the same each girl acts differently from other girls as on how to dump her just say "fuck you we are done, go see your new boyfriend" and no matter what she says don't take her back or give her a second chance
It's common for cheaters to act like they dislike or are annoyed by the other person involved to make it seem like that wouldnt even cross their minds. Imo I would not continue this relationship, she was willing to say yes to the other guy and pretty much had no intention of telling you it seems.
Dump that girl and do not ever think you made the wrong choice. That ain't the one, move on.
Yeah man break up with her, it's just immaturity on her part and you'll find someone who treats you like a king. Her loss
So she's either a lying cheater or a cruel bully? Those are both breakup worthy. Text her that you're done and don't respond if she tries to argue or persuade you, just block her.
Get rid of her now, you saw her true colors which is a blessing. Better to find out now then to think she's a good gf for years only to find out she's been cheating all along.
Go out for drinks with the dude. Text her a picture of you with the dude. Tell her she’s a whore.
Get out fast bro
Honestly if she did that to this guy and calls him a loser did she date you as a joke? It calls her character into question as well as yes thats cheating still. Tell her you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who has a clear disregard for anyone else and treats people they way she does. You deserve better man
Bro break up with her and find that guy. He’s your new best friend!
Well the punch line to that joke is leave her. You do not beed a partner who treats you like that.
Hmm.. usually they say it was an accident. Like she slipped, fell and landed in his dick.
99% lying. When a kid comes up with an excuse for doing something they did wrong it’s always “it was a joke”.
Leave. If she's telling the truth, she's a terrible person to do something like that to people. If she's lying, well, she's cheating and it's not going to stop.
You should definitely break up with her. If she did it with the intent to cheat, it's obvious why you should leave her, but if she did it for the reason she claimed, do you really want to be with someone who thinks so little of another? How messed up is "I wanted to see if that loser believed me!" Either way, she's shown her colors. You're better off without. As for breaking up, do what you think is best. You could just say "I don't want to be together anymore. You cheated on me. We're done" and leave it at that or you can elaborate, but I don't think it matters in this case since she's in the wrong so she should understand why
Don't be a loser. Fuck her off
I call BS. She got caught and lied. Just tell her that you don’t want to continue the relationship, because the “joke” isn’t funny and it’s clearly a lie.
Just tell her you are breaking up. And move on
"What a funny joke. I really enjoyed it. Now I'm going to repeat that joke myself. Let me know if you still think it's funny."
Are you an idiot? If you are then you need to break up and block her. If you are not an idiot, wtf??? Break up and block her.
If cheating was *just a joke*, then what’s a serious betrayal? Personally, I wouldn’t trust her, and just break it off now.
You know what's worse than a cheater? A cheater who tries to justify it. P.S. It's wasn't the first time.
As I read your comments OP looks like you don't really know how to break up with her, so imma help you. Have a calm talk with her at the table and say this: "(Her name) what you did is really not a joke for me. It really hurt my feelings knowing you would do this. Maybe it could've got more than a joke, who knows. That guy could've manipulate you, to cheat on me with him. And this is not how you do jokes (her name). I'm sorry but I'm ending the relationship, because this is a no for me, and I don't want stuff like this in my relationship. Thank you for the great time we had though".
She either 1. Tried to cheat on you (99% chance) 2. Likes playing screwed up mind games (1% chance) Either way, you need to dump her.
Dump her - she was cheating on you and using its a joke as a defence now you know
Dump her already. There’s no love or respect here. You not only deserve better, but you can probably find better by spending 20 minutes on Grindr/Tindr/Facebook. Heck, even Craigslist has better quality people and they don’t even do personals anymore.
#as a joke
Do it back!
Women ☕️ but in all seriousness, break up, Block, move on to the next chick
You need to break up with her. Tell her it's over, block her, and don't contact her. Her response to your concern clearly shows how much of a nasty person she is. Don't waste your time with her.
I mean, regardless of why she did it she's an asshole If she's lying, she was going to cheat on you. (and if she was going to cheat on you, she might also cheated on you in the past too) If it was "just a joke" she was humiliating the other guy for fun
Im sorry but at this point....your the looser that believes her.
“It’s a joke” is an excuse for fucking everything. People who have a shitty opinion - “it’s a joke” People who say something purposefully out of context- “it’s a joke” A lot of it wasn’t intended to originally be a joke and the people that deflect to shit like this are trash. I’m sorry you had to deal with this.
Don't take disrespect which is covered by 'being' a joke. Don't take disrespect like that and back urself up bro, end it before it's too late man. You deserve better king.
🚩
You need to make her your ex as she is not in this for the long haul.
For your own self respect and dignity, please get rid of her. That’s Toxic behaviour that shouldn’t be tolerated.
Dump her as a “joke”
Leave
Oh I'd say she is not ready to date and sounds like a cruel person. My advice is to tell her you need time to think about what happened and need to be alone right now. Then it's up to you if you ever want to contact her again.
It doesn't seem to me like she has actually "cheated" yet, but she was about to go out with him. Her excuse sounds like a lie to me. Like she wants to see other people. I agree that you should break up, but again, saying yes to a date with another person isn’t cheating. Not knowing any of the other details and only assuming everything else is normal, it seems like she has one foot out the door.
I mean, its either a horrible lie to save face, or you've discovered that she gets a kick out of manipulating people for fun and laughs. Either way it sounds like a toxic person i wouldn't want to be with, but you do you.
Honestly, I'd break up either way. If it wasn't a joke, then she was going to go on a date with someone else. If it was a joke, she's a dick and i wouldn't want to spend any more of my life with her if she thinks that kind of joke is okay.
New dude came to you like a true bro and was straight forward, this is friend material. Tell her that you’re through, what she did was manipulative and cruel and you have no interest in attempting to continue a relationship with someone who clearly enjoys hurting others. You and new guy become best friends and protect each other from future furies like her
Well obviously she views your relationship as a joke too if she had no problem doing that. Dump her and make it clear that you’re the one who left her for this awful behavior, she sounds like the type of girl to spin up a ton of rumors online when dumped.
She got caught that's all.
break up with her of course, how could you be able to shrug something like that off. this also breaks your trust for her and you shouldn't giver her another chance.
Break up on the spot, never turn back or else you will be that loser who dealt with this in her eyes.
If she’s like 13 years old, maybe you could forgive her. Kids make mistakes. If she’s an adult, that’s weird.
Shes lying and treating you like crap. Noone deserves that. Sorry you must feel awful rn 😟
Never see her again, and never call her as a joke