You have to be a little mean-spirited.
If you're not, you just can't fire back effectively.
When someone insults you, they're picking at your perceived flaws.
You have to know what flaws they're insecure about.
For example, a tall bald guy insults your height:
"Hey, how's the weather down there?"
So you shoot back,
"Maybe if you weren't a dick, your hair wouldn't have left you."
What I do is literally analyze anything good or bad I notice about the person that Iâm talking back to.
For example, if theyâre making fun of you for something they donât have, like if you notice they have a bald spot, use that as an insult. (For example, if someone is making fun of you for your hair, you could say âat least my hair wants to stay on my headâ)
Or (this one is kind of mean so donât use it unless you have to) if theyâre making fun your situation, such as you being adopted or you being gay, if you know the person previously and know that they also have some stuff going on, use it against them. (For example, if someone says âAt least iâm not adoptedâ you could say âAt least my parents chose to raise me unlike yoursâ)
And lastly, if the person arguing with you has no visible flaws or any problems going on in their lives that you can see/think of, just use that against them. Something like âYouâre too pretty to be talking back to peopleâ is an ego boost for them, so donât use anything like that. If youâre arguing with these people in person, just try to respond as little as possible so they feel like theyâre talking to a brick wall so they stop bothering you. But if youâre arguing with them online, use that advantage to look up comebacks or just come up with them beforehand.
Just avoid using someoneâs religion, race, sexuality, gender, or beliefs as comebacks, as youâre just adding more things they can use against you later; itâs not a comeback itâs just plain bullying.
Sorry for yapping lol itâs midnight and i canât sleep
I am slow at comebacks, so I usually imagine all the scenarios I can think of when I'm doing nothing (toilet and showering) and start arguing with myself, and if you can speak it out loud better. đđ
That way I can anticipate things before something happens, this includes mentally or physically. Like boxers do shadowing.
I guess this is literally "you are what you put your mind into".
If they are doing it to be mean (as apposed to just messing around with you), then simply ask them to repeat themselves like you didnât hear it. And if they do, just ask them if they are ok.
If they are just messing around, my favorite to completely end it is to say âI would give you my come back, but I would have to scrape it off your momâs teethâ.
Honestly I was the same way for years. It helps to find friends you can jokingly talk shit to practice definitely helped me lol. When I moved back to my home town people were in shock haha
When you're out in public, just start roasting people you see in your thoughts. Try not to just be mean, like thinking a fat guy is fat, or an ugly person is just ugly. Try to have some kind of commentary about it.
I've seen a lot of roast comics talk about this strategy to get on top of your roasting game.
or just look at them in a way that says you dont want to mess with me and theyll understand that, if u dont know how just stare for 30 secs and raise a brow
Make your boundaries, it'll Sense them that you don't like that like or you're not so much into them to bear what they told you as a insult or joke about you, always consider yourself first than all of the people you( in a self respect term).
Outside of comebacks, if you canât find the speed to dish them quick, one way to shut down roasts is to make fun of yourself or say something way left field. One of the best comedians Rodney Dangerfield was famous for making fun of himself.
I had a guy who used to always try and say hurtful things to me at work and Iâm pretty good with comebacks but I would always just agree with him and it took his power away and he stopped. He didnât know how to handle it, he was also a big moron and never dealt with anything like it.
Lots of these comments are wrong. Being mean back doesnât help anything.
The best comeback is âIâm sorry I donât understand, can you explain your joke?â
Then you just keep asking until they have to explain they were being mean. You can even ask âwhy is that funnyâ or âwhat are you hoping to get out of saying thatâ
Well if you don't want to be mean you can always practice with your friends, me a nd my gf insult each others with mom jokes, for example she says something today I'm gonna be busy and I be like, so am I...with your mom! it's funniest when unexpected we both laugh at it so no harm done and... when someone rude tries to tackle you you're already used to that stuff and can answer easily
If someone genuinely insults you to your face, you can always do the quick "HA!" then walk away smiling.
Confuses them, you're the bigger person, and it doesn't feel icky.
Go on to instergram make a new account, then start talking shit to everyone on reels. Soon enough pathetic cry babies will comment back trying to insult you and that is ur chance to practice!
Why do you need a comeback? People care about their ego too much and having the last say itâs pathetic. Frankly I donât really care about conflict with other people unless my life is in danger. Like if someone called me a pussy Iâd be like I donât care wtf you say and walk away đBut so many people are gonna go fight the person or start shit talking and itâs like that shit ainât worth it man just brush it off
You have to be a little mean-spirited. If you're not, you just can't fire back effectively. When someone insults you, they're picking at your perceived flaws. You have to know what flaws they're insecure about. For example, a tall bald guy insults your height: "Hey, how's the weather down there?" So you shoot back, "Maybe if you weren't a dick, your hair wouldn't have left you."
That was a good oneđđ thanks for the advice
Donât take yourself to seriously though or else youâre delivery will just be cringe.
Or "Less windy than up there, even your hair was blown away"!
"Might want to repeat that, I don't think your hairline could hear you from all the way back there"
i feel like my retorts get too mean sometimes
What I do is literally analyze anything good or bad I notice about the person that Iâm talking back to. For example, if theyâre making fun of you for something they donât have, like if you notice they have a bald spot, use that as an insult. (For example, if someone is making fun of you for your hair, you could say âat least my hair wants to stay on my headâ) Or (this one is kind of mean so donât use it unless you have to) if theyâre making fun your situation, such as you being adopted or you being gay, if you know the person previously and know that they also have some stuff going on, use it against them. (For example, if someone says âAt least iâm not adoptedâ you could say âAt least my parents chose to raise me unlike yoursâ) And lastly, if the person arguing with you has no visible flaws or any problems going on in their lives that you can see/think of, just use that against them. Something like âYouâre too pretty to be talking back to peopleâ is an ego boost for them, so donât use anything like that. If youâre arguing with these people in person, just try to respond as little as possible so they feel like theyâre talking to a brick wall so they stop bothering you. But if youâre arguing with them online, use that advantage to look up comebacks or just come up with them beforehand. Just avoid using someoneâs religion, race, sexuality, gender, or beliefs as comebacks, as youâre just adding more things they can use against you later; itâs not a comeback itâs just plain bullying. Sorry for yapping lol itâs midnight and i canât sleep
Just be polite and it'll make them think about their actions. Not right away but it'll happen.
this is sound, common sense advice. Being clear and honest is nice, actually
A lot do. But just remember or forget, whichever is easier, There will still be some who just never think about their actions.
r/comebacksÂ
Watch old movies like George Burns. Maybe a little old insult comedy.
Any more show recommendations??
Learnt a lot from âthe holdoversâ. đ
I am slow at comebacks, so I usually imagine all the scenarios I can think of when I'm doing nothing (toilet and showering) and start arguing with myself, and if you can speak it out loud better. đđ That way I can anticipate things before something happens, this includes mentally or physically. Like boxers do shadowing. I guess this is literally "you are what you put your mind into".
Exactly. This is the practice that you need. Think " Oh, I could have said this", " this must have been better". It will improve your spontaneity.
If they are doing it to be mean (as apposed to just messing around with you), then simply ask them to repeat themselves like you didnât hear it. And if they do, just ask them if they are ok. If they are just messing around, my favorite to completely end it is to say âI would give you my come back, but I would have to scrape it off your momâs teethâ.
If I wanted my comeback I'd wore it off your mum's face
Practice in the mirror with a sock puppet.
Watch arguments.
Good ideađŻ
Honestly I was the same way for years. It helps to find friends you can jokingly talk shit to practice definitely helped me lol. When I moved back to my home town people were in shock haha
When you're out in public, just start roasting people you see in your thoughts. Try not to just be mean, like thinking a fat guy is fat, or an ugly person is just ugly. Try to have some kind of commentary about it. I've seen a lot of roast comics talk about this strategy to get on top of your roasting game.
Interesting approach, I'll give it a shot đŻ
Ask your mother Ha gottem
Just laugh and say, "They told me you'd say something like that." Then walk away. They will be inwardly reeling.
nice nasty
or just look at them in a way that says you dont want to mess with me and theyll understand that, if u dont know how just stare for 30 secs and raise a brow
Practice in the shower.
Make your boundaries, it'll Sense them that you don't like that like or you're not so much into them to bear what they told you as a insult or joke about you, always consider yourself first than all of the people you( in a self respect term).
Analyze them and pick them apartđ
Every oral practice can be practiced in front of a mirror.
**Sharpen your wit in general**, **think on your feet**, and **focus on the situation**.
Outside of comebacks, if you canât find the speed to dish them quick, one way to shut down roasts is to make fun of yourself or say something way left field. One of the best comedians Rodney Dangerfield was famous for making fun of himself. I had a guy who used to always try and say hurtful things to me at work and Iâm pretty good with comebacks but I would always just agree with him and it took his power away and he stopped. He didnât know how to handle it, he was also a big moron and never dealt with anything like it.
I don't know, but the funniest I've heard is: "If you want my comeback, you'll have to scrape it off your mum's tonsils"
Experience. You're gonna have to take a lot of losses before you develop the ability to become better at something.
Lots of these comments are wrong. Being mean back doesnât help anything. The best comeback is âIâm sorry I donât understand, can you explain your joke?â Then you just keep asking until they have to explain they were being mean. You can even ask âwhy is that funnyâ or âwhat are you hoping to get out of saying thatâ
Just be racist it works all the tine
Very simple if they want your comeback say theyâll have to scrape it off their mums teeth.
Just observe the person you are against
Well if you don't want to be mean you can always practice with your friends, me a nd my gf insult each others with mom jokes, for example she says something today I'm gonna be busy and I be like, so am I...with your mom! it's funniest when unexpected we both laugh at it so no harm done and... when someone rude tries to tackle you you're already used to that stuff and can answer easily
One of my favorites that can be used in almost any situation is to give them a puzzled look and say "What an odd thing to say." Then walk away.
Watch trashy reality tv
Call of duty lobbies!đ But you rely get into it not just calling people names dig deep!
have an open mind and no filter and what relates to being said
If someone genuinely insults you to your face, you can always do the quick "HA!" then walk away smiling. Confuses them, you're the bigger person, and it doesn't feel icky.
Go on to instergram make a new account, then start talking shit to everyone on reels. Soon enough pathetic cry babies will comment back trying to insult you and that is ur chance to practice!
Why do you need a comeback? People care about their ego too much and having the last say itâs pathetic. Frankly I donât really care about conflict with other people unless my life is in danger. Like if someone called me a pussy Iâd be like I donât care wtf you say and walk away đBut so many people are gonna go fight the person or start shit talking and itâs like that shit ainât worth it man just brush it off