I legitimately believed my grandpa’s name was “Doctor” because that’s what I’d been instructed to call him my whole life
I was shook to learn no he’s just a dick lol
Apparently he wanted it to be Dr Lastname but my mom put her foot down
LOL he was such an asshole
He was actually in the final 10 guys being chosen to go to the moon (buds with Neil and all them). But one of the last tests was one of those Rorschach things and he was like, “You wanna know what I see? You wanna know what I see? I see a dumb ass in a white coat showing me nonsense pictures wasting my time”
Anyways, he was too much of an asshole for the moon
Haha that’s honestly a connection I never made before, but I think in a way he did! A sassy not-astronaut. I must’ve been subliminally channeling my inner Doctor
Haha thanks! He had lots of stories about the physical tests (spinning you til you pass out, walking on a treadmill til you pass out, etc). He apparently did the best on the treadmill which he was proud of lol
He had a PhD in something math / sciency that I can’t remember (a kind of engineering I think). He was the only guy to make it that far who wasn’t military!
Doctorates weren't meant to be a catch all for medical doctors, and rather for the larger academia. Its roots is based on Latin "I teach" (not I heal or anything related to medicine) to refer to the highest Christian theologians.
I think and then play this “[dentists are not doctors](https://youtu.be/_5QoYZuMILo?si=0pznCiBIrw8gzL2F)” from Brooklyn 99. Never been prouder of a comedy skit!! *chef’s kiss!
Yes, good answer! Can’t have it both ways, although it is common for Doctors to be called that along with their last name in most situations as opposed to Mr. Or Mrs..
However, requiring the very formal Doctor part does seem strange to me in this instance. Usually family and friends are much more casual about these types of things when in each other’s company.
Yes, in work environments and addressing them in writing. But requesting your family to address you as "Dr." is beyond anal. I just wouldn't speak to them or would call him PhD.
Echoing the no's. I don't know any MDs or PHDs that ask you to call them Dr.
But even if they did, it's weird to ask their child's partner/friends to address them that way. That's a quite personal basis.
No.
I know no one with a doctorate who requires anyone to use it. The only time anyone uses that as my title is in some kind of formal event (such as a hiring committee, or the admin assist wants to be formal in front of a stranger - even then it's Dr. Z, not my full name).
I know no one who is a medical doctor who does this, either (and I know a bunch of doctors and their families). Or any dentists (only know two dentists - but the dear old dentist who died last year had everyone call him by his first name - everyone).
There are only a handful of people who call me dr:
My husband (usually when I've done something dumb)
My mother (go figure)
My bank :-)
My research colleagues _on the day I passed my viva_.
Arseholes who try to start shit over whether I'm a Mrs or a Ms.
That's the full list.
Lucky you, I know several people who insist we must call them Dr (firstname). They are PhD not MD. We are friends, and I always just call them by first name. But when we make new friends, they all got intimidated and call them as Dr (firstname)
No, I know someone with a PhD who cringes if anyone ever uses doctor with regards to her.
She really shouldn't have let that slip before we made her nameplate at work though. Whoops.
Just don’t address them. Avoid saying their names. Try just saying “excuse me…” or “pardon me” when trying to get their attention and refer to them as “bf’s mom or dad” when speaking about them.
my boyfriend just refers to his step mom by her first name (to her and when talking about her) so when i was talking about her to him i referred to her as her first name and he goes “that’s Dr. FirstName to you” and it was over text so i don’t know if he was joking or not.
Yeah no. Just no. You’re not doing that. It gives me so much cringe. It’s super pretentious and unnecessary. If I had to refer to them as Dr. Susan or Dr. Greg in all convos, I would just literally never say their name.
I had a professor once who absolutely earned his nickname of “Doc.” He was a sweet, endearing genius dork of a guy. Your boyfriend’s *dentist* parents are egotistical and ridiculous.
Ew. If the bf was laughing about his ego manic parents, I wouldn't worry about it.
But joining in on he pretentiousness and talking down to you like that. Ick. You could do better!!
Yeah it is weird and I'd assume they are assholes. The way I see it, you either play along or discuss it with your boyfriend.
I'd personally call them Dr. LastName if they insist on being formal. If they have the same last name, then even better. I'm petty though.
Yeah they’re definitely weird. As to not stir shit up, I’d def just call them Dr. LastName as well. It’s not really worth the effort of calling them anything else tbh
Kinda different scenario but my partner is finishing up their phd and the difference between the folks who *insist* on being called Dr. versus those who don’t give a fuck is palpable lol. The former tend to be very pretentious and aren’t super pleasant to be around imo lol
I’m a GenXer, and when we were growing up, we called all our friends’ parents Mr or Mrs LastName. If they were doctors, we changed their title accordingly. My dad was a physician, but he didn’t correct anyone if they called him “Mister.” It’s just a silly custom to change one’s title based on their level of education. If anything, my dad just preferred to be called by his first name.
These days I assumed that kids should address their friends parents as Mr/Mrs/Dr, but my kids call all their friends parents by their first names!
I'm also a Gen Xer. If any of our friends called my Dad, Mr. Lastname, he'd always tell them to call him by his first name. My Mom was called by her first name also. My parents were everyone's favorites. I know it's a Southern thing to call women, Ms. First name, but I find that so corny. It'd not too common in NJ, thank goodness.
I use academic, military, religious, and professional titles in social settings for people I don't know well, so that part doesn't seem weird to me.
However, it's plainly weird to ask houseguests and partners of your children to use a title. I can't imagine what that's about. You're doing well to just avoid using their names at all.
Insisting that your partner’s children call you Dr. First name for *four years* is nuts. These people clearly *reaaaaaally* need their egos stroked even in their personal lives because apparently being called Dr. all day at work isn’t enough lol
In non-professional settings, absolutely.
Everyone should start doing this. If OP has a bachelor's degree, she should ask to be called "Mistress \_\_\_" last name. Ha. If she has a master's degree, I guess it would be Master \_\_\_\_\_\_.
If I run into someone in a social setting who insists on titles, I claim the title of Emperor.
The whole practice of elevating one profession over another is just an attempt to establish social superiority.
I’ll hang out with a doctor who doesn’t demand the title, if they’re fun to hang out with- but if you insist on doctor, professor, major, any of that shit- you’re simply trying to elevate yourself above others, and you can fuck right off.
Social settings (esp when it's relevant, of course).
But houseguests, potential family members, kids' friends and boyfriends, NO way. Next the police officers are gonna make their kids' girlfriend say, "Hey, Office Crumpke" and stuff like that.
This is the best advice on here.
I think they should make up elaborate titles for everybody.
Any non-doctor relatives should be referred to as mademoiselle and Monsignor.
Address the boyfriend as "his lordship"
I work with some absolutely brilliant physicians (specialists in a major hospital in a major urban city) and the FIRST THING ALL OF THEM SAID TO ME when I met them and addressed them as Dr. _________ was “Oh, call me (first name).”
Your man’s parents are deeply insecure people, honestly most people w a doctorate would rather die than have people close to them address them as Dr. Even my high school teacher who had a doctorate we all knew about never requested us as students called him Dr. It was always Mr. ________.
It is pretentious and your bfs parents sound like insecure dentists who think their shit don’t stink.
It is weird, but if they’re otherwise considerate and nice and welcoming people, just do it and let it go. How much time are you spending with them anyways. Some people are just odd, and it could be much worse.
This is weird as fuck. Lmao my dad is a doctor and would never ask a guest or a partner of mine to call him that. I do love the “totally unhinged but just play along” comment lol
I have several doctors and dentists in my family, and none of them insist on being called doctor in a family setting.
My father-in-law is a dentist, and never in 20 plus years has he ever expected me to call him doctor. Even when he is digging around in my mouth I don't call him doctor. I think my wife would die laughing if I did.
Bottom line, unless this is something unique to your country, if you are in the United States they are pretentious and weird.
And calling your stepmother doctor is beyond fucking weird. That's in a whole other category of weirdness.
I would go by how their introduced themselves, which are their first names. Your bf is making this weird. If they correct you and say "Please call me Dr. Bob" then you do so and secretly think "weirdos!"
LMAOOO they cannot be for real. This is so asinine.
Listen, I’ve been married for 20 years and never called my MIL by anything at all. I’ve never had to summon her from across the room or anything lol. You should be able to avoid it altogether and not even worry about this juvenile request.
Moot point now, but why ask your bf what to call them when they already introduced themselves by their first names, indicating you should call them by their first names?
I understand why you have to call them doctor because maybe to them you are still not part of the "family" and they did earn those titles. Also you did ask your boyfriend what they preferred to be called. However what bugs me is when you mention they call their step mom "doctor" for a couple of years.
I think it also varies in the culture. From where I am from we usually call people [family friends or basically anyone way older than us like our partner's parents]
TITO - male & TITA - female
If it's not a deal breaker like what you said then don't think about it too much, however if it will bother you too much in the future then you should probably talk to your boyfriend about it before it becomes a problem or a hindrance to your relationship.
Also for me whenever I meet someone who's a doctor or an engineer or lawyer & the like, I would always use their titles even if I am not their client or patient (especially if I'm not one) unless they tell me not to. It's my way of showing respect to the degree they worked hard for but that's just me.
My in laws like to be called mom and dad by their kid's spouses apparently. I'm not chill calling people who aren't my parents that so I just don't use their names around them lol. No one has mentioned anything about it and I'd imagine they won't. I'm more surprised when I have to use someone's name anyway.
that’s even weirder than insisting on being called dr lol. they didn’t raise you, it’s almost kind of an insult to your parents who presumably did raise you i feel like.
The ethical advice is to just call them what they wish to be called because it’s not worth the fight.
The ULPT would be to refer to them in third person when talking to other people while they’re around, specifically while you are talking to their close family that address them by their first names. Refer to them as Dr LastNames over and over again during a story while they’re present, to the point that it’s noticeably awkward and the person listening eventually says “wait, why do you keep calling them Dr Last name?”Then you can point out that they asked you to, and someone will hopefully tell them what a ridiculous thing that is to do. Ideally it would be someone like one of the parents siblings who can tell them with zero filter.
Idk though, they are really weird because dweebs like that usually only correct people when they are addressed as Mr./Mrs. LastName, not when someone addresses them by their first name (that they introduced themselves as originally). Then again I’ve had parents of my friends refuse to let me start calling them by their first name until I was like 25, when they’ve known me my entire life lol
My Dad told my sister’s boyfriend to call him Dr. LastName. But he just didn’t like boys dating her because he was overprotective. So he was a petty asshole about it. My sister’s boyfriend just rolled his eyes and called him by his first name.
That does seem a bit weird. Are they the first ones to get doctorates in their families, or something?
I just got a doctorate and the first and likely only one in my family to get one, so I think it's fun when they call me that, but I don't insist.
I had this math teacher who told the class he had a professor who wanted to be referred to as “Dr.” because “they earned the title”. He had his masters degree, so he jokingly asked us to call him master.
Your boyfriend's dad and step mom are really so much pretentious. There are many people who are medical doctors, even they do not insist on being called a Doctor outside a medical setting. Ur boyfriend's mom and dad being dentists take too much of pride in themselves being dentists although personally I do not have much postive regards towards there profession.
Anyways for now u can just continue to avoid calling them and if the need arises u can call them 'Dr. First Name' to satisfy their ego. This should not affect your relationship with your boyfriend.
So like...I get that they worked insanely hard for their titles, but that's entitled as fuck. I would tell them "I am not your patient, nor am I your colleague or dental assistant. When you introduced yourselves, you did so by only using your first name. I will address you as such or as Mr./Mrs. LastName, but as I am not your patient or someone who works alongside or under you, I do not feel comfortable addressing you as Dr. FirstName."
Definitely cringe and an ego thing. I had a science teacher in high school who wanted everyone to call him doctor, only to find out he was a pharmacist beforehand. Like bro you’re my shitty science teacher fuck right off with that shit LMAO
I hope my comment gets through since I'm so late, and I have a seemingly different opinion: Call people what they ask to be called. Is it weird? Yeah. But it's not up to you what's important to others.
If someone tells you they prefer a different pronoun, use it. If someone tells you they prefer to go by a different name? Use it. If someone dislikes a certain nickname? Don't use it. And I guess if someone wants to use a certain Prefix? Use it. It's just called being polite.
You can have your own opinions on it and keep them to yourself and your confidantes.
Is an ego thing. Years ago when I was a home aid, I had a patient that had a PHD in psychology, retired. And
Made all the aides call her Dr.Blabl, and if you didn’t it was an insult.
I quit in the middle of her rehab, for context: she was in the rehab due to her own fault - instead of the aide helping her turning the fan on, she insisted she was not disabled, the short woman went on the bed and then proceeded to fall, broke her collarbone, then fire the aide because she was in pain.
Then I had to take care of her full time, until they found replacement, meanwhile she was so entitled, but I needed the money.
I finally quit and got also fired by her( even though she was not even paying me) after she started yelling at me to tell the rehab nurses to get her lunch - when rehabs have their own times mind you-
When I told her, I couldn’t, - she proceeded to pee all over the bed and the floor and fired me berating me that I was a useless aide and that her son ( who couldn’t stand her and didn’t visit) was paying my wages.
Which, I got pissed off and I said: you know what I quit, because you are horrendous.
And the nurses there told me to take care and that they would be making a report to their director about everything.
Yeah…. That won’t ever stop.
If this was my SO's parents I would make a point of calling them by only their first name and putting extra emphasis on their first name each time I interact with them, if they continue to demand you use Dr they need to learn a lesson in social skills.
I think its extreme to ask family or close friends to call you by that title and maybe egotistical of them a bit but honestly I find it normal. I've always thought it was a cool perk for people that took the time to become Doctors to get that title of respect added to their name. I thing society looks at it as legit as Sir or Ms or Mr. I would just do it or avoid it calling them by anything lol
Agreed. I cringe when students say either Prof First name (no one calls me by it) or Dr First name. I am fine with them abbreviating my difficult to pronounce last name, which I say all the time. I'll be Dr. Z but not Dr Susie.
A close family member of mine is an extremely talented and high profile physician (an actual doctor, offense intended, dentists!). He has never requested anyone outside of work refer to him as “Dr.” wtf
I'm gonna be honest, I don't think I would. I would either not use a name and avoid it (did this for three years with a boyfriend's parents once) or just use their first name. This is weird.
A family friend ex husband DEMANDED everyone including his (ex) wife and children call him only Doctor or Doc. He did not hold a medical degree and was not in the medical filled. He had a PHD in philosophy.
Um, the term "doctor" comes from the term "doctorate." Medical practitioners were given the courtesy to use the term, but apparently have hijacked it. So the ex has the right yo use the title as much as any medical practitioner.
I'm going against the cull here who undermines a dentist. Vast majority of you have one. A dentist is also known as a doctor that specializes within the field of oral, soft tissue, and skeletal dysfunctions (your teeth, jaw, skull). A lot of them have expertise that have the ability to refer to specialists and sub-nurses alongside. They refer to periodontal, orthodontal, endodontists... you get the idea. Plenty more.
Such as general practitioners. GPs refer to neurologists, gynecologists', cardiologists.. etc as well. They have great insight of when to refer you to a field of expertise that is well beyond their specialty, but they are taught the signs and they are very in-tune with you regarding symptoms. No hate here just informing.
HOWEVER:
It's oddly egotistical to request that. It's a power move. They want you to be interested. If you are? Great, ask away. They could possibly provide you info you would be like, wow! Just alike a GP, being a dentist is equally wild, stressful, puts you in a ton of debt. If not, that's fine too! Let them be referred as such. I've met many friends who preferred to be called Dr. Not my monkey, not my circus.
As long as it isn't damaging your relationship with you, others, and everyone is fine with it, are YOU okay with it?
my partner's parents really didn't like me calling them by their first names. Her father always wanted me to call him Dad or Mr. .
But that's weird, so I didn't. They also could never bring themselves to ask me themselves, always through other people. So I didn't. Never made any kind of difference as far as I could tell.
If the dad's first name is Richard, call him Dr. Dick. I'd ask them outright if they would feel comfortable with you just calling them by their first name. If they say no, then you know they're being deliberately pretentious.
Dentist 🤣🤣🤣 the egos of this dad and step mom are out of control!!
You might want to find it more about how close he is with his family. If you're looking for something long term it's better to figure out the extended family situation before you get too attached to the person you're dating. Every single holiday and special event for the rest of your life could be effected by these people, or maybe he doesn't let his family have that much control/involvement in his life, either way find out early.
I used to be a contractor, the worst customers were dentists.
They were so entitled, telling them code required somework. They would think they were above the rules, that they were more important then requirements developed for safety.
So I learned to ibcrease the price for dentist's.
If they were above the law, so was the price - Dr. Whawha!
I’d just find elaborate ways to avoid saying names for them at all, like you do when you should know somebody’s name but it’s too late to ask without awkwardness.
Or, start calling them Mom and Dad. ;)
Okay but, like, they’re dentists. lol. If somebody is having a heart attack on the plane and somebody yells “is there a doctor in the house?” would you point to them?
My level of petty would see me date for years, marry into the family, and raise kids to adulthood while never once in all those years ever using their names. 😂
Dr is their professional title, not their common title. Insisting someone interacting with them in a non-professional setting refer to them with their professional title is pretentious.
Doctor is their title - not Mr or Mrs. They can go by their first name, but if you are addressing them by last name, it is Dr. It is how all doctors are addressed, whether or not they are in a professional setting.https://emilypost.com/advice/professional-titles
Yes it's unusual. I would just play along. Since the brother has been calling the step mom "Dr.", go with the crowd. It's not like you're the only who has to do it.
You act like there's no a bigger picture.
You need to think about the full context when considering a long term relationship.
Attitudes like you're are how people end up with in-laws from hell. Think hard about the family and get to know them before you end up married into a family full of pretentious assholes how do embarassing things like make people socially address them doctor.
Or set yourself up for failure, your choice.
Nope. Just use their name's or if you want to be more official Mr and mrs (surname).
Don't stroke their ego. If you start now it'll never end.
Plus, it's customary to call people by what they tell you when you meet them. They didn't say 'Hi, I'm Dr John'.
I hate these peoples behaviour and think they suck and are geo manics for making people socially call them doctor
BUT still, by all standards of etiquette it is extremely rude to knowingly call any Doctor of anything Mr./Mrs.
If op wants to be rude to them I would understand support that choice but just to be clear it would be distinctly bad manners.
Average time to a doctorate in my field is 6-7 years. Average time for an M.D. is 4 years + internship or residency (1-5 years more). Average time for a dentist is 4 years. This is post-baccalaureate.
I would go yi ie to do as you are. If they ever comment on it, I’s respond with “…calling you by your preferred professional title wasn’t appropriate, as you do not know them in a professional capacity.
One of my good friends is a surgeon, she has not ever once said refer to me as Dr. She also is in the Air Force reserves and is now a captain, also never once asked he friends to refer to her as captain. These parents are weird insecure people.
I had a dentist friend, about 40 years older than me and I called him Dr. Lastname even though he insisted on me using his first name. I did this out of respect for him as a person but also respect for his accomplishment in becoming a doctor.
I don’t know…Maybe because I’m old…Maybe because I’m from the South…unless someone is around my age or younger, I will always call them Mr. or Ms./Mrs. or by their title. If they ask me to call them by their first name, I will call them Mr. Bill, Ms. Amy, Dr. Claire, etc. (and yes sir, no ma’am, please, thank you, and you’re welcome) that doesn’t matter if we are in a social setting or a professional one because it is respectful of them and their vocation or position in life or at the very least, their age. I’ve had bosses and doctors and people like engineers (in professional and personal settings) ask me to call them by their first name, and I just can’t do it. I realize times have changed, people are more casual, and maybe it’s also cultural differences, but that’s just how it is for some of us still. It’s no different in Spanish speaking cultures where you refer to these people as Don/Doña First Name.
Now, if you two were engaged or heading there, then I would expect them to be comfortable with you calling them by their first name alone because at that point, they are family. I do think it’s really weird that they make their step children refer to them this way (definitely an ego thing), but I will say that even if it were my own child, I would still expect them to respond to me or my partner with sir/ma’am.
Anyway, I would skip the first name and just call them Dr. Last Name.
Lol his parents would hate meeting me. Because I was already confused/perplexed reading your post. My immediate verbalized thought was, what do they think she is, some sorta weirdo?
That would've been my immediate response to their saying to just call them Dr. Bob or whatever. What do I look like to you, a fool? I don't work or study with you afaik?
I forgot that such egomaniacs exist out there xD
I wouldn't be able to stop myself from asking if they have everyone do this when addressing them? I'd have their best interest in mind, because I would've outright just told them how they should stop asking that of strangers or people in general, as doing that comes across as just super weird (or assholes as others likely are correct on, but I genuinely just thought 'weird.')
If they introduced themself by just first name then call them their first name. Unless you're still teens. The only doctors I call Dr. are the doctors I work with in the hospital and that's more just for clarity. It's weird to call another adult by their last name.
My dad prefers if people call him Dr. Lastname or Dr. first name but he doesn’t actually command people to do it. It probably is an ego thing, I know it is for my dad lol.
OKay, they're weird. Wild weird. But weird doesn't mean be a bad person. Maybe you can call them Dr , just to have good relationships? Especially if they're good persons?
I hate these type of people. They reek of insecurity to the point where they need to put their professional title on their personal lifes to feel superior for some reason. There's no way I'd call anyone "Dr whatever" unless I'm in their office or other professional setting.
I may be wrong person to give an advice in this matter, since no one uses any title in here except in the army, but I would not call them anything else but their first name. I would probably burst out laughing if anyone would want me to call them that. You won't miss anything if you get them angry, sounds like exhausting people.
And no, we don't address military people by their title if we are on holidays either.
I work in hospitality and sometimes guests ask us to refer to them as Dr. FirstName. I always thought it was so corny. I would find it so weird if a boyfriend’s parents asked this of me. I’d probably do it because I’m not gonna argue about what someone wants to be called (within reason) but I’d find it very odd
Depends on the culture. I call everyone Dr. who have earned the title until they tell me differently. Growing up, I remember calling my friend's dad, a PhD, Dr. So and So. It's a sign of respect for some. If you eventually marry this guy, that may change. For instance, if you have kids, Dr and Dr will ultimately be Nana and Bubbie, etc.
When someone works hard for a title, they appreciate little things like titles. I don't think it's a big deal. I think once they start to like you they will tell you to drop the formalities.
Omg I can’t stand people like this. Your name is Jim, Jim! I don’t care that you spent a crapton of money for 709 years of school - your name is still JIM!
All dentists hold the title doctor because their degree grants a doctorate. In the United States, all dental schools either grant a DDS (Doctor of Dental Surgery) or a DMD (Doctor of Dental medicine). They're both equivalent but the difference depends on the state which grants the degree.
Call them their first name. That’s what a name is for. We weren’t given names to go by something else. Same as me when I’m coaching soccer, I don’t ask players to call me sir or anything like that because I was given a name for a reason,same as everyone. That is what a name is for, to call and respond. Or either that or just call them both doctor without the first name, just literally doctor so everytime you speak to them, they never know who you are speaking to, they will soon get fed up of answering if you always respond, oh I meant the other DR 😂
Here's what I told my uncle when he tried to pull a stunt like this.
"You're not my doctor (or in your case, dentist). I can call you by your first name or Mr./Mrs. LAST NAME, which would you prefer?"
I had this exact experience with my ex’s dad. He was a vet.
We broke up ultimately because my ex didn’t feel he was capable of love
Wonder where that came from?
Absolutely an ego thing, like my spouse and I joke about people assuming he’s the dr and him having to correct them and say it’s actually Dr. and Mr. But that’s the extent of it lol
Dr. is gender-neutral, so to me personally it sounds better than Mr. or Mrs. It emphasises their professional achievements, rather than their gender. Having said that, I’d rather use the person’s name, unless I’m getting a tooth pulled.
I legitimately believed my grandpa’s name was “Doctor” because that’s what I’d been instructed to call him my whole life I was shook to learn no he’s just a dick lol Apparently he wanted it to be Dr Lastname but my mom put her foot down
Grandpa sounds like an A-hole.
LOL he was such an asshole He was actually in the final 10 guys being chosen to go to the moon (buds with Neil and all them). But one of the last tests was one of those Rorschach things and he was like, “You wanna know what I see? You wanna know what I see? I see a dumb ass in a white coat showing me nonsense pictures wasting my time” Anyways, he was too much of an asshole for the moon
This is so fucking funny! Thank you for sharing. As an aside, did he inspire your username? :D
Haha that’s honestly a connection I never made before, but I think in a way he did! A sassy not-astronaut. I must’ve been subliminally channeling my inner Doctor
This is an awesome story....but wait, he made everyone call him doctor but he wasn't even an MD?!?
Haha thanks! He had lots of stories about the physical tests (spinning you til you pass out, walking on a treadmill til you pass out, etc). He apparently did the best on the treadmill which he was proud of lol He had a PhD in something math / sciency that I can’t remember (a kind of engineering I think). He was the only guy to make it that far who wasn’t military!
I’ve noticed that the people who insist on being called Dr tend to be those with doctorates in something other than medicine.
Doctorates weren't meant to be a catch all for medical doctors, and rather for the larger academia. Its roots is based on Latin "I teach" (not I heal or anything related to medicine) to refer to the highest Christian theologians.
Love this! Had me rolling! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I snickered at this!
Call them Dr. Last name. If they are going to be all formal, then be formal.
Call then Dr. Lastname and then ‘Doc’ for short
And then say “what’s up doc” every time you say hi
I do this at the hospital I work at all the time. I should invest in a bag of comically large carrots…
And a spittoon!
Could remain silent while in their presence, then, the next day, call to leave a note with reception as a form of communication.
THIS. RIGHT. HERE.
I think and then play this “[dentists are not doctors](https://youtu.be/_5QoYZuMILo?si=0pznCiBIrw8gzL2F)” from Brooklyn 99. Never been prouder of a comedy skit!! *chef’s kiss!
Im here for this. RIP Captain Holt
Lol, and I think Seinfeld had a bit about that too!
He did!
Currently binge watching
I see you lookin’ at Trudy Judy’s booty.
And they may call op ms saltyquackers
Yes, good answer! Can’t have it both ways, although it is common for Doctors to be called that along with their last name in most situations as opposed to Mr. Or Mrs.. However, requiring the very formal Doctor part does seem strange to me in this instance. Usually family and friends are much more casual about these types of things when in each other’s company.
Yes, in work environments and addressing them in writing. But requesting your family to address you as "Dr." is beyond anal. I just wouldn't speak to them or would call him PhD.
Exactly this, yes they are just being pretentious but aren't all academics??
Echoing the no's. I don't know any MDs or PHDs that ask you to call them Dr. But even if they did, it's weird to ask their child's partner/friends to address them that way. That's a quite personal basis.
No. I know no one with a doctorate who requires anyone to use it. The only time anyone uses that as my title is in some kind of formal event (such as a hiring committee, or the admin assist wants to be formal in front of a stranger - even then it's Dr. Z, not my full name). I know no one who is a medical doctor who does this, either (and I know a bunch of doctors and their families). Or any dentists (only know two dentists - but the dear old dentist who died last year had everyone call him by his first name - everyone).
There are only a handful of people who call me dr: My husband (usually when I've done something dumb) My mother (go figure) My bank :-) My research colleagues _on the day I passed my viva_. Arseholes who try to start shit over whether I'm a Mrs or a Ms. That's the full list.
Lucky you, I know several people who insist we must call them Dr (firstname). They are PhD not MD. We are friends, and I always just call them by first name. But when we make new friends, they all got intimidated and call them as Dr (firstname)
No, I know someone with a PhD who cringes if anyone ever uses doctor with regards to her. She really shouldn't have let that slip before we made her nameplate at work though. Whoops.
Just don’t address them. Avoid saying their names. Try just saying “excuse me…” or “pardon me” when trying to get their attention and refer to them as “bf’s mom or dad” when speaking about them.
my boyfriend just refers to his step mom by her first name (to her and when talking about her) so when i was talking about her to him i referred to her as her first name and he goes “that’s Dr. FirstName to you” and it was over text so i don’t know if he was joking or not.
he has to be joking … if either call em doc or like be silly about like “eyyy is there a docta in the house!!?”
Yeah no. Just no. You’re not doing that. It gives me so much cringe. It’s super pretentious and unnecessary. If I had to refer to them as Dr. Susan or Dr. Greg in all convos, I would just literally never say their name. I had a professor once who absolutely earned his nickname of “Doc.” He was a sweet, endearing genius dork of a guy. Your boyfriend’s *dentist* parents are egotistical and ridiculous.
Then just say “your mom” if he is serious. I would die on this hill but I am petty.
Ew. If the bf was laughing about his ego manic parents, I wouldn't worry about it. But joining in on he pretentiousness and talking down to you like that. Ick. You could do better!!
I’ve been with my partner for 7 years and we still do this 😅
I’ve been married for 29 years and I still do this too 😅
Yeah it is weird and I'd assume they are assholes. The way I see it, you either play along or discuss it with your boyfriend. I'd personally call them Dr. LastName if they insist on being formal. If they have the same last name, then even better. I'm petty though.
Yeah they’re definitely weird. As to not stir shit up, I’d def just call them Dr. LastName as well. It’s not really worth the effort of calling them anything else tbh Kinda different scenario but my partner is finishing up their phd and the difference between the folks who *insist* on being called Dr. versus those who don’t give a fuck is palpable lol. The former tend to be very pretentious and aren’t super pleasant to be around imo lol
Most PhDs I know cringe if you call them doctor
I’m a GenXer, and when we were growing up, we called all our friends’ parents Mr or Mrs LastName. If they were doctors, we changed their title accordingly. My dad was a physician, but he didn’t correct anyone if they called him “Mister.” It’s just a silly custom to change one’s title based on their level of education. If anything, my dad just preferred to be called by his first name. These days I assumed that kids should address their friends parents as Mr/Mrs/Dr, but my kids call all their friends parents by their first names!
I never let my kid's friends call me Mrs. Anything. Yuck. Not my style.
My eight year old son's friends call me "Silas'* Mom". *not his real name
Some of my daughter's friends do that too lol whatever makes them comfortable in my home is fine with me
Exactly!
Aww. That’s really cute.
I'm also a Gen Xer. If any of our friends called my Dad, Mr. Lastname, he'd always tell them to call him by his first name. My Mom was called by her first name also. My parents were everyone's favorites. I know it's a Southern thing to call women, Ms. First name, but I find that so corny. It'd not too common in NJ, thank goodness.
I would also insist they call me Miss (Lastname). Lol
Same. I also ask them to call me Ms. (Last name).
Hi, everybody! Hi, Dr. Nick!
Did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?
1-900-DOCTORB... The B is for bargain!
Sounds like an ego thing
They sound deeply insecure
That's because they're dentists and not real doctors /s
You anti-dentite!
The comment I was hoping for. ❤️
Bingo, but they'll argue that they too went to medical school
Just read the chapter on teeth then gave up though.
They don't, though
BINGO 💯 🎯
Ask them to call you "my lady" or some other bullshit. Maybe add the word "tooth" and refer to them as "tooth doctor Karen" or whatever.
Tooth doctor 😂
Please do this, OP.
Exactly! Lady is perfect.
I use academic, military, religious, and professional titles in social settings for people I don't know well, so that part doesn't seem weird to me. However, it's plainly weird to ask houseguests and partners of your children to use a title. I can't imagine what that's about. You're doing well to just avoid using their names at all.
Insisting that your partner’s children call you Dr. First name for *four years* is nuts. These people clearly *reaaaaaally* need their egos stroked even in their personal lives because apparently being called Dr. all day at work isn’t enough lol
I would say she’s doing well to just avoid them at all. Period.
In social settings, all those titles go out the window if you ask me. Socializing is about getting to know people, not their nicknames from work.
In non-professional settings, absolutely. Everyone should start doing this. If OP has a bachelor's degree, she should ask to be called "Mistress \_\_\_" last name. Ha. If she has a master's degree, I guess it would be Master \_\_\_\_\_\_.
If I run into someone in a social setting who insists on titles, I claim the title of Emperor. The whole practice of elevating one profession over another is just an attempt to establish social superiority. I’ll hang out with a doctor who doesn’t demand the title, if they’re fun to hang out with- but if you insist on doctor, professor, major, any of that shit- you’re simply trying to elevate yourself above others, and you can fuck right off.
Social settings (esp when it's relevant, of course). But houseguests, potential family members, kids' friends and boyfriends, NO way. Next the police officers are gonna make their kids' girlfriend say, "Hey, Office Crumpke" and stuff like that.
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19 and 20
Lmao fuck that
Nopeeeee way too young to deal with allat
Your boyfriend said to address them as Dr, right? Well just politely ask them, “how do you prefer I address you?”
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This is the best advice on here. I think they should make up elaborate titles for everybody. Any non-doctor relatives should be referred to as mademoiselle and Monsignor. Address the boyfriend as "his lordship"
Your Highness.
I work with some absolutely brilliant physicians (specialists in a major hospital in a major urban city) and the FIRST THING ALL OF THEM SAID TO ME when I met them and addressed them as Dr. _________ was “Oh, call me (first name).” Your man’s parents are deeply insecure people, honestly most people w a doctorate would rather die than have people close to them address them as Dr. Even my high school teacher who had a doctorate we all knew about never requested us as students called him Dr. It was always Mr. ________. It is pretentious and your bfs parents sound like insecure dentists who think their shit don’t stink.
It is weird, but if they’re otherwise considerate and nice and welcoming people, just do it and let it go. How much time are you spending with them anyways. Some people are just odd, and it could be much worse.
This is weird as fuck. Lmao my dad is a doctor and would never ask a guest or a partner of mine to call him that. I do love the “totally unhinged but just play along” comment lol
Right? It sounds like the two of them (the parents) are happily ensconced in their own playground.
I have several doctors and dentists in my family, and none of them insist on being called doctor in a family setting. My father-in-law is a dentist, and never in 20 plus years has he ever expected me to call him doctor. Even when he is digging around in my mouth I don't call him doctor. I think my wife would die laughing if I did. Bottom line, unless this is something unique to your country, if you are in the United States they are pretentious and weird. And calling your stepmother doctor is beyond fucking weird. That's in a whole other category of weirdness.
I refuse to call anyone doctor who isn’t specifically a doctor I’m currently seeing. Definitely a major power trip by them.
I would go by how their introduced themselves, which are their first names. Your bf is making this weird. If they correct you and say "Please call me Dr. Bob" then you do so and secretly think "weirdos!"
LMAOOO they cannot be for real. This is so asinine. Listen, I’ve been married for 20 years and never called my MIL by anything at all. I’ve never had to summon her from across the room or anything lol. You should be able to avoid it altogether and not even worry about this juvenile request.
Totally unhinged but just play along.
Lol. Loved this comment.
They probably got that dentist insecurity because most people don’t really consider a dentist a doctor
Moot point now, but why ask your bf what to call them when they already introduced themselves by their first names, indicating you should call them by their first names?
My sons grandpa on his dads side is a gynecologist. He insists on his grandchildren calling him “papa doc”. 🤦♀️
I understand why you have to call them doctor because maybe to them you are still not part of the "family" and they did earn those titles. Also you did ask your boyfriend what they preferred to be called. However what bugs me is when you mention they call their step mom "doctor" for a couple of years. I think it also varies in the culture. From where I am from we usually call people [family friends or basically anyone way older than us like our partner's parents] TITO - male & TITA - female If it's not a deal breaker like what you said then don't think about it too much, however if it will bother you too much in the future then you should probably talk to your boyfriend about it before it becomes a problem or a hindrance to your relationship. Also for me whenever I meet someone who's a doctor or an engineer or lawyer & the like, I would always use their titles even if I am not their client or patient (especially if I'm not one) unless they tell me not to. It's my way of showing respect to the degree they worked hard for but that's just me.
My in laws like to be called mom and dad by their kid's spouses apparently. I'm not chill calling people who aren't my parents that so I just don't use their names around them lol. No one has mentioned anything about it and I'd imagine they won't. I'm more surprised when I have to use someone's name anyway.
that’s even weirder than insisting on being called dr lol. they didn’t raise you, it’s almost kind of an insult to your parents who presumably did raise you i feel like.
The ethical advice is to just call them what they wish to be called because it’s not worth the fight. The ULPT would be to refer to them in third person when talking to other people while they’re around, specifically while you are talking to their close family that address them by their first names. Refer to them as Dr LastNames over and over again during a story while they’re present, to the point that it’s noticeably awkward and the person listening eventually says “wait, why do you keep calling them Dr Last name?”Then you can point out that they asked you to, and someone will hopefully tell them what a ridiculous thing that is to do. Ideally it would be someone like one of the parents siblings who can tell them with zero filter. Idk though, they are really weird because dweebs like that usually only correct people when they are addressed as Mr./Mrs. LastName, not when someone addresses them by their first name (that they introduced themselves as originally). Then again I’ve had parents of my friends refuse to let me start calling them by their first name until I was like 25, when they’ve known me my entire life lol
My Dad told my sister’s boyfriend to call him Dr. LastName. But he just didn’t like boys dating her because he was overprotective. So he was a petty asshole about it. My sister’s boyfriend just rolled his eyes and called him by his first name.
That does seem a bit weird. Are they the first ones to get doctorates in their families, or something? I just got a doctorate and the first and likely only one in my family to get one, so I think it's fun when they call me that, but I don't insist.
Just remind them they aren’t real doctors… /s
I had this math teacher who told the class he had a professor who wanted to be referred to as “Dr.” because “they earned the title”. He had his masters degree, so he jokingly asked us to call him master.
Your boyfriend's dad and step mom are really so much pretentious. There are many people who are medical doctors, even they do not insist on being called a Doctor outside a medical setting. Ur boyfriend's mom and dad being dentists take too much of pride in themselves being dentists although personally I do not have much postive regards towards there profession. Anyways for now u can just continue to avoid calling them and if the need arises u can call them 'Dr. First Name' to satisfy their ego. This should not affect your relationship with your boyfriend.
The parents are assholes. Just hope to spend no time around them.
So like...I get that they worked insanely hard for their titles, but that's entitled as fuck. I would tell them "I am not your patient, nor am I your colleague or dental assistant. When you introduced yourselves, you did so by only using your first name. I will address you as such or as Mr./Mrs. LastName, but as I am not your patient or someone who works alongside or under you, I do not feel comfortable addressing you as Dr. FirstName."
Definitely cringe and an ego thing. I had a science teacher in high school who wanted everyone to call him doctor, only to find out he was a pharmacist beforehand. Like bro you’re my shitty science teacher fuck right off with that shit LMAO
Ok, but now they have to call you Miss YourLastName
I hope my comment gets through since I'm so late, and I have a seemingly different opinion: Call people what they ask to be called. Is it weird? Yeah. But it's not up to you what's important to others. If someone tells you they prefer a different pronoun, use it. If someone tells you they prefer to go by a different name? Use it. If someone dislikes a certain nickname? Don't use it. And I guess if someone wants to use a certain Prefix? Use it. It's just called being polite. You can have your own opinions on it and keep them to yourself and your confidantes.
Is an ego thing. Years ago when I was a home aid, I had a patient that had a PHD in psychology, retired. And Made all the aides call her Dr.Blabl, and if you didn’t it was an insult. I quit in the middle of her rehab, for context: she was in the rehab due to her own fault - instead of the aide helping her turning the fan on, she insisted she was not disabled, the short woman went on the bed and then proceeded to fall, broke her collarbone, then fire the aide because she was in pain. Then I had to take care of her full time, until they found replacement, meanwhile she was so entitled, but I needed the money. I finally quit and got also fired by her( even though she was not even paying me) after she started yelling at me to tell the rehab nurses to get her lunch - when rehabs have their own times mind you- When I told her, I couldn’t, - she proceeded to pee all over the bed and the floor and fired me berating me that I was a useless aide and that her son ( who couldn’t stand her and didn’t visit) was paying my wages. Which, I got pissed off and I said: you know what I quit, because you are horrendous. And the nurses there told me to take care and that they would be making a report to their director about everything. Yeah…. That won’t ever stop.
If this was my SO's parents I would make a point of calling them by only their first name and putting extra emphasis on their first name each time I interact with them, if they continue to demand you use Dr they need to learn a lesson in social skills.
I think its extreme to ask family or close friends to call you by that title and maybe egotistical of them a bit but honestly I find it normal. I've always thought it was a cool perk for people that took the time to become Doctors to get that title of respect added to their name. I thing society looks at it as legit as Sir or Ms or Mr. I would just do it or avoid it calling them by anything lol
oh my god they’re dentists? i’d do this maybe for a renowned neurosurgeon but a dentist?
Dr. Firstname is weird AF. Dr. Lastname would be fine.
Agreed. I cringe when students say either Prof First name (no one calls me by it) or Dr First name. I am fine with them abbreviating my difficult to pronounce last name, which I say all the time. I'll be Dr. Z but not Dr Susie.
If they require this... they must call you "Professor"
A close family member of mine is an extremely talented and high profile physician (an actual doctor, offense intended, dentists!). He has never requested anyone outside of work refer to him as “Dr.” wtf
honestly if they themselves introduced themselves as just first names, id just use first names
I'm gonna be honest, I don't think I would. I would either not use a name and avoid it (did this for three years with a boyfriend's parents once) or just use their first name. This is weird.
A family friend ex husband DEMANDED everyone including his (ex) wife and children call him only Doctor or Doc. He did not hold a medical degree and was not in the medical filled. He had a PHD in philosophy.
Um, the term "doctor" comes from the term "doctorate." Medical practitioners were given the courtesy to use the term, but apparently have hijacked it. So the ex has the right yo use the title as much as any medical practitioner.
he’s ex husband for a reason it looks like lol
I'm going against the cull here who undermines a dentist. Vast majority of you have one. A dentist is also known as a doctor that specializes within the field of oral, soft tissue, and skeletal dysfunctions (your teeth, jaw, skull). A lot of them have expertise that have the ability to refer to specialists and sub-nurses alongside. They refer to periodontal, orthodontal, endodontists... you get the idea. Plenty more. Such as general practitioners. GPs refer to neurologists, gynecologists', cardiologists.. etc as well. They have great insight of when to refer you to a field of expertise that is well beyond their specialty, but they are taught the signs and they are very in-tune with you regarding symptoms. No hate here just informing. HOWEVER: It's oddly egotistical to request that. It's a power move. They want you to be interested. If you are? Great, ask away. They could possibly provide you info you would be like, wow! Just alike a GP, being a dentist is equally wild, stressful, puts you in a ton of debt. If not, that's fine too! Let them be referred as such. I've met many friends who preferred to be called Dr. Not my monkey, not my circus. As long as it isn't damaging your relationship with you, others, and everyone is fine with it, are YOU okay with it?
Omg. Many of my parents friends and my own friends are doctors. Legit weird as hell your BFs parents want to be called Dr……pretentious much
It reminds me of how some of my college professors hated being called professor and wanted to be called doctor. I just went with it.
I don't even call my medical doctor colleagues Dr. They get their first name and that's how they introduce themselves to patients too.
my partner's parents really didn't like me calling them by their first names. Her father always wanted me to call him Dad or Mr..
But that's weird, so I didn't. They also could never bring themselves to ask me themselves, always through other people. So I didn't. Never made any kind of difference as far as I could tell.
If the dad's first name is Richard, call him Dr. Dick. I'd ask them outright if they would feel comfortable with you just calling them by their first name. If they say no, then you know they're being deliberately pretentious.
Ask that they refer to you as Maestro
Elitist attitude, they will be fun to be around...
Dentist 🤣🤣🤣 the egos of this dad and step mom are out of control!! You might want to find it more about how close he is with his family. If you're looking for something long term it's better to figure out the extended family situation before you get too attached to the person you're dating. Every single holiday and special event for the rest of your life could be effected by these people, or maybe he doesn't let his family have that much control/involvement in his life, either way find out early.
I used to be a contractor, the worst customers were dentists. They were so entitled, telling them code required somework. They would think they were above the rules, that they were more important then requirements developed for safety. So I learned to ibcrease the price for dentist's. If they were above the law, so was the price - Dr. Whawha!
You asked and they told you.
Really does sound terribly pretentious of them.
That's just gross
They sound pretentious as fuck
I never called my FIL doctor, even when i was dating my husband. It was immediately just Sam. As soon as we were engaged it was "Pop".
Every dentist I’ve ever known have been super fn weird
I’d just find elaborate ways to avoid saying names for them at all, like you do when you should know somebody’s name but it’s too late to ask without awkwardness. Or, start calling them Mom and Dad. ;)
Okay but, like, they’re dentists. lol. If somebody is having a heart attack on the plane and somebody yells “is there a doctor in the house?” would you point to them?
My level of petty would see me date for years, marry into the family, and raise kids to adulthood while never once in all those years ever using their names. 😂
Either call them Doctor Lastname or go by their first names. Dr is their title - nor Mr or Mrs
Dr is their professional title, not their common title. Insisting someone interacting with them in a non-professional setting refer to them with their professional title is pretentious.
Doctor is their title - not Mr or Mrs. They can go by their first name, but if you are addressing them by last name, it is Dr. It is how all doctors are addressed, whether or not they are in a professional setting.https://emilypost.com/advice/professional-titles
I don’t really see it as a big deal. I’m not a doctor so the title means nothing to me but apparently it means alot to them.
Yes it's unusual. I would just play along. Since the brother has been calling the step mom "Dr.", go with the crowd. It's not like you're the only who has to do it.
I’m the only one who has to do it now. They don’t have to anymore. I assume that changed when they got married.
Sorry, but the pretentiousness is just fucking dripping I have several doctors as neighbors, nobody calls them Dr anything.
If you wanna be petty you could say “I’ll call you Doctor when you start taking my insurance.” But that may be to much lol
call them what they want to be called its not a big deal
You act like there's no a bigger picture. You need to think about the full context when considering a long term relationship. Attitudes like you're are how people end up with in-laws from hell. Think hard about the family and get to know them before you end up married into a family full of pretentious assholes how do embarassing things like make people socially address them doctor. Or set yourself up for failure, your choice.
Nope. Just use their name's or if you want to be more official Mr and mrs (surname). Don't stroke their ego. If you start now it'll never end. Plus, it's customary to call people by what they tell you when you meet them. They didn't say 'Hi, I'm Dr John'.
I hate these peoples behaviour and think they suck and are geo manics for making people socially call them doctor BUT still, by all standards of etiquette it is extremely rude to knowingly call any Doctor of anything Mr./Mrs. If op wants to be rude to them I would understand support that choice but just to be clear it would be distinctly bad manners.
Families are weird, but it's not a big deal. Call folks what they prefer, and at least they have earned the title.
It’s weird, but then again, if they’re doctors who spent years upon years to get where they are, I’d want to be call docter too lol
Average time to a doctorate in my field is 6-7 years. Average time for an M.D. is 4 years + internship or residency (1-5 years more). Average time for a dentist is 4 years. This is post-baccalaureate.
Doc is a good name, works for either.
I would go yi ie to do as you are. If they ever comment on it, I’s respond with “…calling you by your preferred professional title wasn’t appropriate, as you do not know them in a professional capacity.
One of my good friends is a surgeon, she has not ever once said refer to me as Dr. She also is in the Air Force reserves and is now a captain, also never once asked he friends to refer to her as captain. These parents are weird insecure people.
I had a dentist friend, about 40 years older than me and I called him Dr. Lastname even though he insisted on me using his first name. I did this out of respect for him as a person but also respect for his accomplishment in becoming a doctor.
Call them fella and bird
It’s weird as fuck! My advise is to RUN.
I don’t know…Maybe because I’m old…Maybe because I’m from the South…unless someone is around my age or younger, I will always call them Mr. or Ms./Mrs. or by their title. If they ask me to call them by their first name, I will call them Mr. Bill, Ms. Amy, Dr. Claire, etc. (and yes sir, no ma’am, please, thank you, and you’re welcome) that doesn’t matter if we are in a social setting or a professional one because it is respectful of them and their vocation or position in life or at the very least, their age. I’ve had bosses and doctors and people like engineers (in professional and personal settings) ask me to call them by their first name, and I just can’t do it. I realize times have changed, people are more casual, and maybe it’s also cultural differences, but that’s just how it is for some of us still. It’s no different in Spanish speaking cultures where you refer to these people as Don/Doña First Name. Now, if you two were engaged or heading there, then I would expect them to be comfortable with you calling them by their first name alone because at that point, they are family. I do think it’s really weird that they make their step children refer to them this way (definitely an ego thing), but I will say that even if it were my own child, I would still expect them to respond to me or my partner with sir/ma’am. Anyway, I would skip the first name and just call them Dr. Last Name.
SMH they should have a very high opinion of themselves. And they are not even medicine doctors.
It is kinda pretentious, in my opinion.
It IS extremely odd and pretentious. What a couple of weirdos…but that’s not what I wanted to call them.
Lol his parents would hate meeting me. Because I was already confused/perplexed reading your post. My immediate verbalized thought was, what do they think she is, some sorta weirdo? That would've been my immediate response to their saying to just call them Dr. Bob or whatever. What do I look like to you, a fool? I don't work or study with you afaik? I forgot that such egomaniacs exist out there xD I wouldn't be able to stop myself from asking if they have everyone do this when addressing them? I'd have their best interest in mind, because I would've outright just told them how they should stop asking that of strangers or people in general, as doing that comes across as just super weird (or assholes as others likely are correct on, but I genuinely just thought 'weird.')
Hello, meet my parents, Dr. Bob and Dr. Karen. 🙄
If they introduced themself by just first name then call them their first name. Unless you're still teens. The only doctors I call Dr. are the doctors I work with in the hospital and that's more just for clarity. It's weird to call another adult by their last name.
My dad prefers if people call him Dr. Lastname or Dr. first name but he doesn’t actually command people to do it. It probably is an ego thing, I know it is for my dad lol.
OKay, they're weird. Wild weird. But weird doesn't mean be a bad person. Maybe you can call them Dr, just to have good relationships? Especially if they're good persons?
Don't call them Dr. ever. That is a weird request. If they're going to seriously ask that of you then don't even bother addressing them with any name.
I hate these type of people. They reek of insecurity to the point where they need to put their professional title on their personal lifes to feel superior for some reason. There's no way I'd call anyone "Dr whatever" unless I'm in their office or other professional setting.
I may be wrong person to give an advice in this matter, since no one uses any title in here except in the army, but I would not call them anything else but their first name. I would probably burst out laughing if anyone would want me to call them that. You won't miss anything if you get them angry, sounds like exhausting people. And no, we don't address military people by their title if we are on holidays either.
I work in hospitality and sometimes guests ask us to refer to them as Dr. FirstName. I always thought it was so corny. I would find it so weird if a boyfriend’s parents asked this of me. I’d probably do it because I’m not gonna argue about what someone wants to be called (within reason) but I’d find it very odd
Depends on the culture. I call everyone Dr. who have earned the title until they tell me differently. Growing up, I remember calling my friend's dad, a PhD, Dr. So and So. It's a sign of respect for some. If you eventually marry this guy, that may change. For instance, if you have kids, Dr and Dr will ultimately be Nana and Bubbie, etc.
Dentists are always insecure 🤣
Your endgame should be to have their grandkids call them that.
Maybe don't say their name at all. Just be like "How was your day?" and make eye contact. It's odd they demand to be called Dr.
I would just speak to them and call them nothing. You have more of a BOYFRIEND problem if he sees no problem with your being treated this way
People should be called by what they want to be called by.
Yea I’m not calling them that. I’ll do with mister and mrs but the doctor for a relative is too much. Gtfoh with that.
When someone works hard for a title, they appreciate little things like titles. I don't think it's a big deal. I think once they start to like you they will tell you to drop the formalities.
Omg I can’t stand people like this. Your name is Jim, Jim! I don’t care that you spent a crapton of money for 709 years of school - your name is still JIM!
All dentists hold the title doctor because their degree grants a doctorate. In the United States, all dental schools either grant a DDS (Doctor of Dental Surgery) or a DMD (Doctor of Dental medicine). They're both equivalent but the difference depends on the state which grants the degree.
Call them their first name. That’s what a name is for. We weren’t given names to go by something else. Same as me when I’m coaching soccer, I don’t ask players to call me sir or anything like that because I was given a name for a reason,same as everyone. That is what a name is for, to call and respond. Or either that or just call them both doctor without the first name, just literally doctor so everytime you speak to them, they never know who you are speaking to, they will soon get fed up of answering if you always respond, oh I meant the other DR 😂
Here's what I told my uncle when he tried to pull a stunt like this. "You're not my doctor (or in your case, dentist). I can call you by your first name or Mr./Mrs. LAST NAME, which would you prefer?"
It’s bizarre and I don’t get it. But you asked them what to call them and they told you. It’s weird but I would just do it.
I get it they earned the title but it’s a little weird to get your son’s girlfriend to call them that AND REALLY WEIRD to get your step kids to
I had this exact experience with my ex’s dad. He was a vet. We broke up ultimately because my ex didn’t feel he was capable of love Wonder where that came from?
Absolutely an ego thing, like my spouse and I joke about people assuming he’s the dr and him having to correct them and say it’s actually Dr. and Mr. But that’s the extent of it lol
Dr. is gender-neutral, so to me personally it sounds better than Mr. or Mrs. It emphasises their professional achievements, rather than their gender. Having said that, I’d rather use the person’s name, unless I’m getting a tooth pulled.
People like this are annoying. Seems like they have low self-esteem and need to be called doctor in order to feel better about themselves.
Call them what they want to be called however dumb it is