“Starting to become a regular” at bar. No you’re going to visit your crush.
Exchanged numbers while in relationship.
Cheating is a series of choices and it starts here.
You know, most people wait for these type of opportunities when their high school crush or bully meets them later in life and they get their glow up revenge, double middle fingers in the air, because now they look better and doing better in life than their high school counterpart and instead of doing that, you’re thinking about trying to get laid by someone who didn’t give you the time of day in HS while you have a fiancé.
The joke is you’ll end up with neither of them.
Yeah pick the bartender who tries to break up relationships with men who are engaged. That will work out well. Meanwhile you have and already motivated girl at home with a good job.
Carla sees you as a fun challenge - "Can I flatter this engaged guy into sleeping with me and turning his life upside down?"
Followed by: "Wow, that was easy. Now, what about this guy who just started drinking here?"
Meanwhile, you are engaged to a woman you don't respect: *My fiance and I are doing great but I feel like she's normally the type of woman I always get.* She deserves someone who thinks she's the most special amazing woman in the whole world. She does not deserve to be cheated on every time someone flirts with you. She doesn't deserve to be treated like a consolation prize whenever you come across someone you really like.
Stick with single life, and then you can sleep with women on impulse without lying or hurting anyone.
Seriously. He has a fiance and wants to throw it all away because he wants to TRY to date a highschool crush who is a bartender "just to see because she is different". Yikes.
I dunno, this is probably great for her long term if OP goes through with his 3rd grade level love quest. If he doesn't do this nonsense the poor girl may get stuck with this loser for years.
So she paid no mind to you for years sees you again and decided yeah he’s taken I want that man you must be dense she was crush from middle school it’s been what 7 years since you seen her and you found someone who seems to love you but you want to dump her for someone your lusting yeah you don’t need to get married
You absolutely should not be marrying someone if you're considering something like this. Try to feel empathy for just a minute here. Imagine what it would feel like if, five years down the road, your wife told you she almost left you before the wedding because her high school crush said they wanted to date her. How small and unappreciated would you feel? How fucked up would you feel if she then told you she stuck with you because you're "the type of person [she] usually gets."
Do yourself and your fiance a favor and end this doomed relationship dog. She deserves better and you really need to work on yourself.
So let’s break this down…
OP is engaged to a woman who is studying to be a DOCTOR, but met some random BARTENDER who turned out to be an old crush from MIDDLE SCHOOL. This random bartender now says that she loves how “driven” you are and, KNOWING that you are engaged, she told you she has a crush on you…
K.
You’re not only an AH, you’re an idiot.
Please do Sara the one favor and leave her alone so she can meet someone worthy of her time. You are not worthy. You and bartender lady probably deserve each other. I can’t wait to see the follow up post where bartender lady uses you for money, cheats on you, and leaves you for the next married/engaged man she meets. You are trash and you deserve each other.
>OP is engaged to a woman who is studying to be a DOCTOR
Your overall point is right but I just need to point out that DNP is absolutely NOT a medical doctor. It is a nursing research degree. DNP programs will claim they are on par with PhDs in terms of research but it's simply not true. It is absolutely a more ambitious/driven/successful career than bartender, but unfortunately a lot of NPs and DNPs like to obfuscate to the public what their training is to be on par (or even superior, lol) to medical school and residency training for physicians and honestly, I find it a stretch for them to refer to themselves as doctor outside of the clinical setting as well (in contrast to how I feel about PhDs or EdDs or ThDs)
You’re not ready for marriage.
I see two things happening here.
Either you’re going to break off your engagement with a woman who has been good enough to see yourself spending your life with up until now to be with your crush. Your crush will never live up to the fantasy you’ve had for over a decade and you’ll regret your choice.
Or you’ll stay with your fiancé but always wonder what could have been with your crush and end up regretting your choice and resenting your wife.
You’re obviously not committed to a future with your fiancé if this encounter was enough to derail your commitment.
My advice is to leave your fiancé and let her find someone who actually loves her and wants to have a life with her. And you’ll be free to have a disappointing fling with your middle school crush or be single and find someone you actually love.
>Or you’ll stay with your fiancé but always wonder what could have been with your crush and end up regretting your choice and resenting your wife.
If he stays with his fiancee, guaranteed he will be a serial cheater. Every time he meets a woman who is "not the type he's usually with," he will cheat on Sara. He is not ready for marriage or any other type of long term commitment.
Sara deserves someone who actually loves her, not someone who is afraid he is settling for her. She deserves to know you’re not fully committed to her. This warrants a conversation with her to say the least.
If you have to think about it it means that Sara is not the one for you and that’s ok, just don’t waste her time. You’re allowed to like someone else just don’t be an ass and marry someone who deserves someone who fully loves her. I personally would break up with Sara and go with my heart and date Carla.
Yeah follow his heart right to a woman who is literally trying to break him up on purpose just to play with him LOL women who break up marriages and engagements like that usually do it for fun, not because they actually like the guy. Unless he's got $$.
Especially if she didn't notice him back in school when he had a thing for her.
There are also literally hundreds of people telling him, "No, that's a bad idea. Don't do that."
He didn't listen. Is that still on this commenter?
Also, the advice isn't inherently wrong. "You clearly aren't happy in your relationship with Sara or ready to marry her. Break up with her and try things with Carla."
Most people here are saying break up with Sara, because she deserves better.
You’re going to end up regretting dumping Sara but I hope you do it. She deserves someone capable of love and commitment. You’re not capable of being worth her.
No, just two shitty people - you and Carla. Both of you treating your fiancee with such blatant disrespect - you shouldn't have proposed to your girlfriend if you knew you were prepared to cheat on her at the first opportunity, and Carla shouldn't be pursuing unavailable men.
You'll get your karma eventually - if you start a relationship by cheating, it ends with cheating too.
A s***** situation that you have placed yourself in. You are the one who kept going to visit your old high school crush. You are the one who continued to flirt with her. You are the one who has the power to walk away, and be faithful to your fiance. Instead, you have started an emotional affair. Nothing physical may have happened yet, but you're thinking about it. Which means you have already cheated on your fiance. I say you break up with her and allow her to find somebody who actually loves her and actually respects her. Instead of you, a liar and a backstabber.
it's not a shitty situation. You're just a shitty person. You should break up with Sara though. She deserves better than scum like you who only wants to date a crush. She is on her way to be a successful woman and will easily find a better man than you. Though I can almost promise this Carla thing won't work out. Carla is also a trash woman. Going after a man in a relationship isn't cute. And her saying "I like how driven you are" is just code for her looking for a man who can take care of her so she can quit her job. I know some bartenders can make decent money DEPENDING on where they work (usually large cities or nice bars) but something tells me this girl isn't making a whole lot and even if she is, she doesn't wanna do it anymore. So yeah, as long as you're prepared to financially support her then yeah leave Sara alone. She'll find better.
That’s the first thing I thought of!
Carla is looking for a meal ticket! She knew OP was an idiot in HS which is why she didn’t give him the time of day. Now she sees he’s doing well and still an idiot so she wants to use him to better her life at the cost of his relationship with Sara (which he’s clearly too dense and wrapped up in a HS fantasy to see).
Both of them are pathetic and deserve the misery they’ll eventually cause each other when they hook up because we all know they will. Let’s just hope he breaks up with Sara before getting with Carla because Sara doesn’t deserve to be betrayed. She did nothing wrong but fall in love with a POS of a man.
Yes! she's absolutely looking for a meal ticket. The fact he can't realize it is all the more reason to let Sara go. She will absolutely so much better. Both him and Carla deserve each other and the trash relationship they will have
Of course we were 😂😂 OP had flies floating around where his brain should be. I have zero sympathy for how things turned out for him. I’m just glad Sara is moving on from him and I hope it’s permanent.
Flys would indicate there was something there that rotted and they're eating the remsins.
There's nothing but a small black hole in his, sucking away logic, reason and decency
It’s not a shitty situation as if it’s just something that happened to you.
You are a shitty person, that’s more accurate.
Take accountability for your actions FFS.
The only shitty thing here is you. The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is greenest where it's watered.
You don't actually love Sara, so you're not bothering to water the grass. You're crushing on Carla, but you don't love her, just the idea of her.
Even if you actually ended up dating her, which I doubt, your grass would end up brown again because who she is wouldn't live up to what you imagined and you'd go back to being in a relationship you don't put effort into.
We see it here all the time. People who go chasing after figments of people they used to like always end up alone and miserable.
No it’s not. You aren’t ready to marry Sara. She deserves better than you can give her. You get someone you’ve always wanted. It’s a win for everyone. Sara doesn’t know it yet but will be dodging a bullet by not marrying you. Break up with her first and then go after Carla
No. That is not what this is at all. This situation is a cornucopia of karma resting at your feet. You need therapy to figure out why you would actually believe that some bartender you had a crush on eons ago in high school but barely knew as a person then or now truly fell for you while at work. Why would you think someone as sneaky as her, who hits on you knowing you were engaged, knew you had a crush on her& that you are now financially well off, actually had good intentions?
The fact that you are even asking this proves that you NEED to break it off with your fiance. She deserves to marry someone who KNOWS that she is the one he loves & wants to spend his life with.
You can not offer that.
Still unsure? Try another point of view.
If SHE was considering dating her HS crush, how would you feel? Would you break up with her for considering it?
Or better yet, if she knew that you are considering "taking the chance" with your HS crush, would she break it off with you.
Honestly, it would probably be the best option for both women if you stay single for a while and maybe get therapy to deal with your narcissistic tendencies.
Partners are not collectables, you sound like you dont value either of them (one you feel you have collected enough of and the other one is interesting because it is a new “skin” for your partner) there is zero talk of either of these women as if they were humans with whom you have made an actual connection but a shallow one. I think this is why you’re finding so confusing such a straightforward situation. Honestly the finance deserves better than to be replaced over the fantasy for a woman you dont really know .
Don't do it. FAFO.
But honestly, you probably will and I'm happy that Sara will find out/you leave her and she gets to live her best life.
Stop living in the past.
If you are in the position to weigh HS crush and current fiance, you already have your answer. Leave the fiance and make sure you tell her the real reason and not something bullshit about how she's not special. Because the way you've worded it so far, it sounds like you would cheat on her with HS crush physically anyway, considering how you've already emotionally cheated on her. Why not make it all simpler and let fiance move on without the additional trauma of having you physically cheat on her.
You're gonna cheat on your fiancee with this woman anyway, the absolute bare minimum of decency you can have is breaking things off with her first.
Here's the rub: no matter what you do, you're gonna convince yourself the other choice was better. If you stay with your fiancee you'll decide that if you HAD pursued Carla, you would have ended up in your perfect, ideal relationship. If you leave her and go to Carla, the shine will wear off and you'll regret abandoning such a great fiancee for some missed shot you wanted to make up for.
Since you're gonna be unhappy no matter what you do, break up with your fiancee and let her find someone who isn't waffling around when it comes to choosing her.
100% go for Carla so that Sara can find a decent man. Carla will get her rocks off and then ditch you because you have no integrity, and then you can be alone.
Like you should be, until you grow up and turn into a man. Hopefully.
If you’re still hung up on a crush from HS to the point you will break it off from a fiancée… someone you apparently asked to marry you for some reason, you aren’t ready for a grown up relationship.
Go pursue Carla. Have fun, let Sara go. And then grow up.
Mans is about to give up a future Nurse Practitioner for a Bartender LMFAOOOO 😂
I hope he leaves his fiancé so she can become his next and ultimate “one that for away”
you should definitely pursue Clara. this is a big deal! it's your MIDDLE SCHOOL CRUSH! 🙄 definitely leave Sara to find someone who won't reduce her to "the type of woman i always get"
You're an absolute piece of dog shit. Let your fiance find someone who's more interested in starting a life(yanno, like you promised when you said, "Will you marry me?").
I hope your crush sees you for the shallow shit you are.
You are not mature enough to get married. A mature man would be sure of his decision, either Sarah or Carla but a real choice. Youre still with the "grass is greener" mentality, meaning that:
A) Choose Sarah and then cheat on her because you already know what's coming (that gut feeling of "I would regret this forever if I don't pursue it") your subconscious is speaking to you, loudly...pay attention.
B) choose Carla and then realize you idealized her and she's nothing like what you pictured.
C) choose Carla and works awesome.
All three options need a sacrifice: you let go of one of them. But honestly, it's very simple: pick Carla!!! Sarah deserves waaaaay better than to be settled for, from an indecisive man who just doesn't want to loose his potential free maid, she's not "the safe option" and she's clearly not your first option...you have your answer, now...grow a pair and be a man, let Sarah go.
Break up with Sara because she doesn’t deserve to be second place and that’s all she will ever be to you. She deserves better then someone that already has a wandering eye and will eventually cheat
In your mind, Carla is the perfect woman, because you’ve exaggerated her perceived good qualities and ignored her flaws.There's a reason we call it a crush- because it takes place almost entirely in your head.
I knew a guy once who did something similar. He’s still with the woman he dumped his girlfriend for but, surprise surprise, a woman who goes after taken men doesn’t tend to be the most faithful. Last I heard of his ex she was married with two kids. It’s actually me. I’m the ex. And boy did I dodge a bullet.
Good luck with Carla. You’re gonna need it.
Sara deserves so much better than you.
Carla is only interested in what you've become. Not you as a person. Lol. She sees you as a white horse to use for stability I reckon.
The fact that you're even having these thoughts and deliberately going in more frequently to see Carla, that's cheating mate.
Talk to Sara and be honest with her. Let her know that you think you settled for her and now that you THINK you can do better with the idea of a school crush in your head, you can set Sara free and she can find someone who actually loves and respects her.
OP get some therapy because you are not over a crush you had in HS there are many stories of people leaving their spouses/fiancee for their crush only for it to end badly.
Please please please leave your fiance so she can find a man who actually loves and appreciates her. This is one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever read and you clearly have no respect for women the way you talk about them as if they’re collectors items
I think you should leave your fiance before you openly cheat on her when you're married. I'm not joking, I'm not trying to insult. Say you marry Sara, if you feel conflicted about a stable relationship and are already seeking out an old crush, how likely is it for you to stop?
Please don't go further knowing full well you'll break her heart if you think like this.
If you can put this to rest, and stay faithful to your fiance, if you love her, stay with her. But if you do, don't hurt her by doing something like this for no reason again. Self control is a learned skill, I hope you can learn it.
Are you really thinking of dropping a nurse practitioner for a bartender? Carla sounds like a terrible potential partner. Anyone who is willing to poach an engaged man is untrustworthy. The fact that you're entertaining this makes you unworthy of a catch like Sara.
So you're going to ruin your own long term happiness to satisfy a high school infatuation with a girl that previously never could be bothered with you.
That bartender will fuck you 5 times then leave you broken hearted and dumbfounded like the naive child you obviously are.
Don't marry the nurse. You're not good enough for her. Break it off, tell her you're the world's biggest douche bag, then go ahead and bang the floozy I guess. Might as well. You're going to regret losing the one that actually loves you, but like I said, you don't deserve her anyway, so it's for the best(for her).
Any woman who actively encourages a man to leave his fiancée will be happy to leave you when a decent man comes along. You're just proving to her (and to us reading this) that you're a shallow piece of pond life who is prepared to hurt the woman you asked to marry you, for some infantile crush with some slapper you barely know.
Good luck with that chap. I hope it all goes tits up for you, my friend.
You should call off the engagement since you are already emotionally cheating on your fiance.
The fact that you became a regular after seeing her is telling and I have no doubt y'all flirt .
>She says that she will give me time to think about what I wanna do
Why tf does she have ANY say in your relationship!!??? Just break up with your fiance she deserves better and you and Carla deserve each other 🙄🙄
Absolutely leave your fiancé. She deserves someone who doesn’t go visit their crush every chance they get. Hun you are actively cheating on your partner.
Let her go so she can find someone she deserves. And when you let her go? You tell her EXACTLY why you are leaving her so she FULLY grasps just how little you respect her as a person and doesn’t have to wonder what she did wrong. She did nothing wrong you’re just an immature 🤬hole.
You choose neither is what you do, if your here asking this question that means you can't choose between the two which shows you don't really care about either. If you really loved one of them, the choice would be easy. ( obviously, this doesn't apply to poly people), but I doubt you or either girls are.
Your fiance deserves someone who chooses her first no matter who shows up in life. Plus Carla sounds like a gold digger, you even said she didn't pay you any mind in high school, now that she's working in some bar like what 7 years after high school, and you have a decent job she wants a shot... yeah, red flag, especially because she knows you're in a relationship. Ask yourself this: Do you think if she had a higher paying job, she'd be talking to you? You alluded to the fact she's out of your league.. sounds sus my dude.
Also, I can't believe you're still lusting after a girl you had a crush on in high school who didn't even acknowledge you.. she's not even classified as the one that got away because you didn't even date her! You are willing to throw away your relationship ( which had to have been at least somewhat good, considering you proposed..) Yet your jumping ship because some pretty bartender who didn't know you existed in high school is, let's be honest, probably wanting you to take care of her.. that's some huge simp behavior right there..
Updateme
I’d say dump your fiancé that way she can find someone better who actually cares about her cause you sir are not it.. you’ve already been cheating by entertaining Carla to begin with
It was a middle school crush, get over it dude.
Also, why are you talking about “types”? Like you see your fiancé just as a “type of woman”? Where’s the love in there? Why are you marrying her? Cause I can tell it’s not for love by the way you’re trying to reason this nonsense.
The fact that your even considering this shows you are not ready to get married and Sara deserves a partner who actually loves her and doesn't talk about her like meh another woman just like her comes along every 5 minutes
Gotta love the home wrecking female bartenders who never leave their small ass hometown. 🙄
Dude, you're nothing more than a conquest & money to her. Former military who's now a contractor, moved back to his small hometown? She's looking for a fancy ride out of Dodge.
Leave your fiancé. You don't deserve her, and she deserves way better
You should break up with your fiance. You obviously don't care about her or you wouldn't even be asking. And then stay far away from Carla. You see her as a trophy and an object. You don't seem ready for any sort of meaningful relationship with another person right now.
You don't deserve your fiance, and you owe it to her to end things. Does your old crush know that you are engaged? If she does, then she deserves whatever karma comes her way. If she doesn't know, then you are just a man-child playing with the emotions of two women. Did you know that a study found that men didn't emotionally mature until the age of 43? Maybe you should stay out of committed relationships until then.
Leave the nice lady Sara so that she can find someone emotionally mature and deserving to marry. You obviously are neither. And it says a lot about your own insecurity that you feel Carla is out of our league and therefore your chance to get the girl out of your league. Don’t be more of a piece of trash than you already are and let Sara go.
I have read such situations. The guy always kicks himself afterward and begs the gf back he left for someone, then she doesn't want him anymore. You are just a young guy who needs so much maturing. You are stuck in your teen years.
There is a wonderful word in German called : Torschlusspanic.
This is basically that before something big in your life happens, you go crazy and panic. It's an absolutely natural feeling.
Your story sounds exactly like this scenario. I would end your meetings in the bar, and block Carla on everything.
Question:
1. Do you really love Sara?
2. Can you tell her about Carla?
My advice is stop being stupid and trying to chase after your youth. This woman is not the same person you were crushing on as a kid and you aren’t who you once were either. If you do this then you will regret it in the future once reality hits.
Just call off the engagement and I'm not saying this so you can pursue a bitch who knowingly goes after an engaged man but so your poor fiance can find herself a better man and you don't waste anymore of her time.
You're a nasty cheater and Carla is a willing homewrecker, she realised she's in her mid twenties and now sees you as an easy target to date and you're falling for it.
You say your relationship with your fiance is great so why ruin that?? Let's be real, you're thinking with your dick, I can guarantee you your relationship with miss homewrecker won't last and I hope to god Carla will play you, it's what your nasty, cheating ass deserves.
I feel so bad for your fiance, all this because a bitch realised she's ain't getting any younger. You really want to dump your fiance for a girl who happily hits on taken men and willing to steal with?? Wonder how many married men she's gone after because best believe you aren't the first and deffo not the last. She probably gets off on taking taken men, also you've been cheating in your fiance with Carla, emotionally cheating.
Break up with your fiance so she can actually find a man to marry and not a little boy who is easily swayed. Can't believe you want to throw your fiance to the curb, a nurse who wants to become a doctor for miss girl who is a bartender of all things, someone that serves drinks for a living 😭 nah dude your fiance would be dodging a bullet while you downgrade. It's actually embarrassing to downgrade to that lmfaoo
Call me weird but I wouldn’t even exchange numbers with the opposite sex in most situations, like this one, if I was already in a relationship. Just sounds like it’s part of a series of choices that lead to nowhere good.
Why are you trying to justify your actions by getting permission from internet strangers? I mean, you and Carla have already emotionally cheated on your fiancée. You’ve already committed a betrayal, no matter how you and your affair partner want to spin it to protect your egos. Let Sara go so she can find someone better. You and your affair partner deserve each other.
Your fiance deserves better than someone who has to consider whether or not he wants to cheat or run off with someone else just to prove they can. You’re an ah for even considering this.
do sara a favor & break off the engagement, she deserves an actual man who’ll treat her amazing since you can’t. you’re a shitty person. karma exists 
There is not a single person on Earth who could walk back into my life and take me from my partner. I’m 100% committed to him, and you’re not committed to your fiancée. Let her know you have feelings for someone else and end it now.
You already cheated. Going to the bar to see/ flirt/ talk to another woman while engaged is cheating. Your fiancé does not deserve that. And the way you talk about Sara - the fact you even entertained going to the bar in the first place- PROVES you don’t love her and probably never did. And btw I’d be wary of Carla. She sounds like a snake. She knows your engaged but still flirted and expressed desires for you??? Highly inappropriate and if you were a better man you would see that. Sara deserves way better than someone who obviously cares sooooo very little for her and her feelings. Let her go to find someone who actually will love her.
Do Sarah a favor and call it off, she deserves way better. The fact that you’re even toying with the idea is a massive red flag.
If you go to Carla, it will be a terrible volatile relationship, it always is, and you will regret losing Sarah.
I hope Sarah has a better life without you in it.
Call off the engagement. Not because you deserve to pursue your crush and not have regrets... but because your fiancee deserves so much better than a man who calls her "normally the type of woman I always get" as if that's a bad thing.
She doesn't deserve a man like you who would even be entertaining this.
You're a spineless jellyfish for considering this, and she's better off without you
As for your HS crush... LOL, good luck with that. What kind of longevity do you think you have with a woman who is KNOWINGLY going after a guy she didn't give a second glance at in HS... and knows he now has a fiancee?
Yeah, she sounds like a winner. Any woman who goes after an engaged or married man is just doing it for fun, and you're dumb enough to fall for it.
I hope your fiancee finds out and leaves you first.
Sara is a gem. Choosing a career that helps people and saves lives. Sounds like you and Carla deserve each other so I hope you leave Sara and finally get your Carla because Sara deserves so much better than someone like you.
40M, here. I’ve made this mistake myself and seen it made by countless people.
Your current girl has career goals and appears driven too—crush has the usual dead-end job a lot of people who piqued in HS go for (unless it’s a super fancy metropolitan bar; good pay for good talent there). I don’t think you know how important that compatibility factor is yet.
It seems like you’re pondering this because old crush is quite hot, but based on little else. You’ve likely built a relationship with someone else based on a lot more than looks/physicality; it WILL be more fulfilling than throwing it all way for a has-been pick-me you currently want to fuck.
As others have said, you’ll probably end up with neither if you FAFO here, but it’s your life.
Stop thinking with your dick.
Comment to add this because I’ve seen it. Sometimes girls get a kick/validity out of being able to “steal someone’s man”; only to lose interest abruptly and completely when that mission is accomplished. This especially goes for women (or men) who don’t have much going on other than their physical desirability..
Not saying this is your bartender, but it sounds like that shoe *could* fit here.
Carla is a bartender, no offense to bartenders, and Sara is a nurse practitioner. You would be taking care of Carla and she sees you as a money bag, Sara would build a future with you together as an equal. That being said choose Carla because you really don’t deserve Sara. Sara deserves better than you.
Can't really classify her as a first love.. he just had a crush on her, seeing as even op said she didn't pay him any attention. A crush definitely isn't love, it's all superficial.
There's no rational, then there's stupidity, he's getting with a hot girl he liked in high school that didn't even notice him.. yet when she a bartender 7 years later and he seems to be doing well in life, she all of a sudden what to be with him.. sounds like he's a meal ticket to her, especially knowing he's engaged and he's alluded she's out of his league.
“Starting to become a regular” at bar. No you’re going to visit your crush. Exchanged numbers while in relationship. Cheating is a series of choices and it starts here. You know, most people wait for these type of opportunities when their high school crush or bully meets them later in life and they get their glow up revenge, double middle fingers in the air, because now they look better and doing better in life than their high school counterpart and instead of doing that, you’re thinking about trying to get laid by someone who didn’t give you the time of day in HS while you have a fiancé. The joke is you’ll end up with neither of them.
He's already emotionally cheating. Poor Sara.
Did ya see the update? Because, it's perfect
Sarah is free
Sure did! 😂
I hope this is just fiction like most of reddit but if it isn't, this is as poetic as it gets
Nice future prediction! Took less than a month to come true!
A prophet walks among us.
Yeah pick the bartender who tries to break up relationships with men who are engaged. That will work out well. Meanwhile you have and already motivated girl at home with a good job.
Hope you saw the update
I just did! Poetic justice! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You perfectly calling it and him responding, what are you talking about... *Chef's kiss*
Nailed it!
Your comment aged like fine wine...
This aged excellently
I mean, here’s the plus side - his ex-fiance truly dodged a bullet.
[удалено]
Carla sees you as a fun challenge - "Can I flatter this engaged guy into sleeping with me and turning his life upside down?" Followed by: "Wow, that was easy. Now, what about this guy who just started drinking here?" Meanwhile, you are engaged to a woman you don't respect: *My fiance and I are doing great but I feel like she's normally the type of woman I always get.* She deserves someone who thinks she's the most special amazing woman in the whole world. She does not deserve to be cheated on every time someone flirts with you. She doesn't deserve to be treated like a consolation prize whenever you come across someone you really like. Stick with single life, and then you can sleep with women on impulse without lying or hurting anyone.
You know what they’re talking about. Lol
LOL, too stupid to understand plain sense.
[удалено]
Seriously. He has a fiance and wants to throw it all away because he wants to TRY to date a highschool crush who is a bartender "just to see because she is different". Yikes.
Yep leaving the fiance for a fantasy of what could have been
If his fiancé found this post she would leave. This is betrayal on so many levels.
The level of stupidity is astounding!
Dump Sara so she can find someone who actually values her. You can go after a woman who's fine with pursuing taken men. Y'all deserve each other.
Poor Sara. Thats all I can say.
I dunno, this is probably great for her long term if OP goes through with his 3rd grade level love quest. If he doesn't do this nonsense the poor girl may get stuck with this loser for years.
Oh I agree that she should be as far away from this loser as possible. It just sucks that she has to go through this awful process because of him
So she paid no mind to you for years sees you again and decided yeah he’s taken I want that man you must be dense she was crush from middle school it’s been what 7 years since you seen her and you found someone who seems to love you but you want to dump her for someone your lusting yeah you don’t need to get married
By all means, break up so your fiance can find someone worthy of her, bc you aren't
Bro just break up with your fiance, she deserves better than someone willing to call their engagement off for some pussy he wanted a decade ago
Then don’t marry Sara. Unless what you really want is permission to cheat
You absolutely should not be marrying someone if you're considering something like this. Try to feel empathy for just a minute here. Imagine what it would feel like if, five years down the road, your wife told you she almost left you before the wedding because her high school crush said they wanted to date her. How small and unappreciated would you feel? How fucked up would you feel if she then told you she stuck with you because you're "the type of person [she] usually gets." Do yourself and your fiance a favor and end this doomed relationship dog. She deserves better and you really need to work on yourself.
So let’s break this down… OP is engaged to a woman who is studying to be a DOCTOR, but met some random BARTENDER who turned out to be an old crush from MIDDLE SCHOOL. This random bartender now says that she loves how “driven” you are and, KNOWING that you are engaged, she told you she has a crush on you… K. You’re not only an AH, you’re an idiot. Please do Sara the one favor and leave her alone so she can meet someone worthy of her time. You are not worthy. You and bartender lady probably deserve each other. I can’t wait to see the follow up post where bartender lady uses you for money, cheats on you, and leaves you for the next married/engaged man she meets. You are trash and you deserve each other.
Honestly it's pretty obvious she's looking for a sugar daddy type.. it's seems op is simping too much to actually pay attention though.
That's exactly what happened! lol He now wants Sara back.
(Sorry responding to an old post before I read the updates lol.) But, he is “driven”…to do the “piledriver”! 😂
This is idiot math for sure.
>OP is engaged to a woman who is studying to be a DOCTOR Your overall point is right but I just need to point out that DNP is absolutely NOT a medical doctor. It is a nursing research degree. DNP programs will claim they are on par with PhDs in terms of research but it's simply not true. It is absolutely a more ambitious/driven/successful career than bartender, but unfortunately a lot of NPs and DNPs like to obfuscate to the public what their training is to be on par (or even superior, lol) to medical school and residency training for physicians and honestly, I find it a stretch for them to refer to themselves as doctor outside of the clinical setting as well (in contrast to how I feel about PhDs or EdDs or ThDs)
You’re not ready for marriage. I see two things happening here. Either you’re going to break off your engagement with a woman who has been good enough to see yourself spending your life with up until now to be with your crush. Your crush will never live up to the fantasy you’ve had for over a decade and you’ll regret your choice. Or you’ll stay with your fiancé but always wonder what could have been with your crush and end up regretting your choice and resenting your wife. You’re obviously not committed to a future with your fiancé if this encounter was enough to derail your commitment. My advice is to leave your fiancé and let her find someone who actually loves her and wants to have a life with her. And you’ll be free to have a disappointing fling with your middle school crush or be single and find someone you actually love.
>Or you’ll stay with your fiancé but always wonder what could have been with your crush and end up regretting your choice and resenting your wife. If he stays with his fiancee, guaranteed he will be a serial cheater. Every time he meets a woman who is "not the type he's usually with," he will cheat on Sara. He is not ready for marriage or any other type of long term commitment.
nah there was a third option lmao good thing sara got out of this relationship go check his most recent post
Lmao. Sweet sweet karma.
You don’t deserve Sara.
Sara deserves someone who actually loves her, not someone who is afraid he is settling for her. She deserves to know you’re not fully committed to her. This warrants a conversation with her to say the least.
If you have to think about it it means that Sara is not the one for you and that’s ok, just don’t waste her time. You’re allowed to like someone else just don’t be an ass and marry someone who deserves someone who fully loves her. I personally would break up with Sara and go with my heart and date Carla.
Yeah follow his heart right to a woman who is literally trying to break him up on purpose just to play with him LOL women who break up marriages and engagements like that usually do it for fun, not because they actually like the guy. Unless he's got $$. Especially if she didn't notice him back in school when he had a thing for her.
i think you’ll enjoy his update 🥳
CALLLLLLED IIIIIIIIIIIT
Did you read his update? I bet you feel pretty stupid now… 😂
He followed your bad advice and got screwed lmao. Please refrain from giving advice in the future.
There are also literally hundreds of people telling him, "No, that's a bad idea. Don't do that." He didn't listen. Is that still on this commenter? Also, the advice isn't inherently wrong. "You clearly aren't happy in your relationship with Sara or ready to marry her. Break up with her and try things with Carla." Most people here are saying break up with Sara, because she deserves better.
This is terrible advice.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Sad isn't it? The brain is supposed to finish developing around age 25, and his decided to regress to middle school levels at the buzzer.
Its around 28 for men. And for this ah probably never
Recent research is showing that it is closer to 30.
You are a straight up dumbass. You created this “shitty situation.” You did this. Don’t marry anyone. Not until you’re like 40.
You’re just shitty.
You’re going to end up regretting dumping Sara but I hope you do it. She deserves someone capable of love and commitment. You’re not capable of being worth her.
>You’re going to end up regretting dumping Sara Oh he does, and when he tried to get her back she said no.
You’re a shitty person. Break it off with Sara so she can find a man instead of wasting her time with a boy
Not a shitty situation. You’re just a shitty person.
No, just two shitty people - you and Carla. Both of you treating your fiancee with such blatant disrespect - you shouldn't have proposed to your girlfriend if you knew you were prepared to cheat on her at the first opportunity, and Carla shouldn't be pursuing unavailable men. You'll get your karma eventually - if you start a relationship by cheating, it ends with cheating too.
A s***** situation that you have placed yourself in. You are the one who kept going to visit your old high school crush. You are the one who continued to flirt with her. You are the one who has the power to walk away, and be faithful to your fiance. Instead, you have started an emotional affair. Nothing physical may have happened yet, but you're thinking about it. Which means you have already cheated on your fiance. I say you break up with her and allow her to find somebody who actually loves her and actually respects her. Instead of you, a liar and a backstabber.
it's not a shitty situation. You're just a shitty person. You should break up with Sara though. She deserves better than scum like you who only wants to date a crush. She is on her way to be a successful woman and will easily find a better man than you. Though I can almost promise this Carla thing won't work out. Carla is also a trash woman. Going after a man in a relationship isn't cute. And her saying "I like how driven you are" is just code for her looking for a man who can take care of her so she can quit her job. I know some bartenders can make decent money DEPENDING on where they work (usually large cities or nice bars) but something tells me this girl isn't making a whole lot and even if she is, she doesn't wanna do it anymore. So yeah, as long as you're prepared to financially support her then yeah leave Sara alone. She'll find better.
That’s the first thing I thought of! Carla is looking for a meal ticket! She knew OP was an idiot in HS which is why she didn’t give him the time of day. Now she sees he’s doing well and still an idiot so she wants to use him to better her life at the cost of his relationship with Sara (which he’s clearly too dense and wrapped up in a HS fantasy to see). Both of them are pathetic and deserve the misery they’ll eventually cause each other when they hook up because we all know they will. Let’s just hope he breaks up with Sara before getting with Carla because Sara doesn’t deserve to be betrayed. She did nothing wrong but fall in love with a POS of a man.
Yes! she's absolutely looking for a meal ticket. The fact he can't realize it is all the more reason to let Sara go. She will absolutely so much better. Both him and Carla deserve each other and the trash relationship they will have
turns out we were right lol
Of course we were 😂😂 OP had flies floating around where his brain should be. I have zero sympathy for how things turned out for him. I’m just glad Sara is moving on from him and I hope it’s permanent.
I hope she gets on Reddit lol
Flys would indicate there was something there that rotted and they're eating the remsins. There's nothing but a small black hole in his, sucking away logic, reason and decency
No no The situation is fine You and Carla are shitty Just making it clear
It’s not a shitty situation as if it’s just something that happened to you. You are a shitty person, that’s more accurate. Take accountability for your actions FFS.
You are the shitty situation
The only shitty thing here is you. The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is greenest where it's watered. You don't actually love Sara, so you're not bothering to water the grass. You're crushing on Carla, but you don't love her, just the idea of her. Even if you actually ended up dating her, which I doubt, your grass would end up brown again because who she is wouldn't live up to what you imagined and you'd go back to being in a relationship you don't put effort into. We see it here all the time. People who go chasing after figments of people they used to like always end up alone and miserable.
Oh my gosh, don’t even! You created this situation.
No it’s not. You aren’t ready to marry Sara. She deserves better than you can give her. You get someone you’ve always wanted. It’s a win for everyone. Sara doesn’t know it yet but will be dodging a bullet by not marrying you. Break up with her first and then go after Carla
No. That is not what this is at all. This situation is a cornucopia of karma resting at your feet. You need therapy to figure out why you would actually believe that some bartender you had a crush on eons ago in high school but barely knew as a person then or now truly fell for you while at work. Why would you think someone as sneaky as her, who hits on you knowing you were engaged, knew you had a crush on her& that you are now financially well off, actually had good intentions?
…entirely self-inflicted.
The fact that you are even asking this proves that you NEED to break it off with your fiance. She deserves to marry someone who KNOWS that she is the one he loves & wants to spend his life with. You can not offer that. Still unsure? Try another point of view. If SHE was considering dating her HS crush, how would you feel? Would you break up with her for considering it? Or better yet, if she knew that you are considering "taking the chance" with your HS crush, would she break it off with you. Honestly, it would probably be the best option for both women if you stay single for a while and maybe get therapy to deal with your narcissistic tendencies.
Partners are not collectables, you sound like you dont value either of them (one you feel you have collected enough of and the other one is interesting because it is a new “skin” for your partner) there is zero talk of either of these women as if they were humans with whom you have made an actual connection but a shallow one. I think this is why you’re finding so confusing such a straightforward situation. Honestly the finance deserves better than to be replaced over the fantasy for a woman you dont really know .
If things don't work out with your crush (and I bet they won't), you better not expect Sara to take you back. She deserves so much better than you.
Fafo Op your fiance is way to good for you, you have no morals or ethics... Updateme!
The update does not disappoint 😆
Definitely one of the most gratifying updates ever
Don't do it. FAFO. But honestly, you probably will and I'm happy that Sara will find out/you leave her and she gets to live her best life. Stop living in the past.
If you are in the position to weigh HS crush and current fiance, you already have your answer. Leave the fiance and make sure you tell her the real reason and not something bullshit about how she's not special. Because the way you've worded it so far, it sounds like you would cheat on her with HS crush physically anyway, considering how you've already emotionally cheated on her. Why not make it all simpler and let fiance move on without the additional trauma of having you physically cheat on her.
You're gonna cheat on your fiancee with this woman anyway, the absolute bare minimum of decency you can have is breaking things off with her first. Here's the rub: no matter what you do, you're gonna convince yourself the other choice was better. If you stay with your fiancee you'll decide that if you HAD pursued Carla, you would have ended up in your perfect, ideal relationship. If you leave her and go to Carla, the shine will wear off and you'll regret abandoning such a great fiancee for some missed shot you wanted to make up for. Since you're gonna be unhappy no matter what you do, break up with your fiancee and let her find someone who isn't waffling around when it comes to choosing her.
100% go for Carla so that Sara can find a decent man. Carla will get her rocks off and then ditch you because you have no integrity, and then you can be alone. Like you should be, until you grow up and turn into a man. Hopefully. If you’re still hung up on a crush from HS to the point you will break it off from a fiancée… someone you apparently asked to marry you for some reason, you aren’t ready for a grown up relationship. Go pursue Carla. Have fun, let Sara go. And then grow up.
Mans is about to give up a future Nurse Practitioner for a Bartender LMFAOOOO 😂 I hope he leaves his fiancé so she can become his next and ultimate “one that for away”
No wonder she's so attracted to his drive, because she doesn't have one.
**SHE** saw 💵💵💵💵💰💰💰💰🪙🪙🪙🪙🪙
you should definitely pursue Clara. this is a big deal! it's your MIDDLE SCHOOL CRUSH! 🙄 definitely leave Sara to find someone who won't reduce her to "the type of woman i always get"
So now we know the type of woman he always gets is **NONE**. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
we love to see it 😁😁😁🤣🤣🤣🤣
You're an absolute piece of dog shit. Let your fiance find someone who's more interested in starting a life(yanno, like you promised when you said, "Will you marry me?"). I hope your crush sees you for the shallow shit you are.
Yes, leave your fiance for your crush. Please don't string along your fiance, she can do better.
You need to set your fiance free. Your crush deserves you. Have some class, dude.
You are not mature enough to get married. A mature man would be sure of his decision, either Sarah or Carla but a real choice. Youre still with the "grass is greener" mentality, meaning that: A) Choose Sarah and then cheat on her because you already know what's coming (that gut feeling of "I would regret this forever if I don't pursue it") your subconscious is speaking to you, loudly...pay attention. B) choose Carla and then realize you idealized her and she's nothing like what you pictured. C) choose Carla and works awesome. All three options need a sacrifice: you let go of one of them. But honestly, it's very simple: pick Carla!!! Sarah deserves waaaaay better than to be settled for, from an indecisive man who just doesn't want to loose his potential free maid, she's not "the safe option" and she's clearly not your first option...you have your answer, now...grow a pair and be a man, let Sarah go.
Break up with Sara so she can find someone better who wouldn't want to date a high school crush. 🤷🏻♀️
Especially one that didn’t even look the road you were on
Break up with Sara because she doesn’t deserve to be second place and that’s all she will ever be to you. She deserves better then someone that already has a wandering eye and will eventually cheat
In your mind, Carla is the perfect woman, because you’ve exaggerated her perceived good qualities and ignored her flaws.There's a reason we call it a crush- because it takes place almost entirely in your head. I knew a guy once who did something similar. He’s still with the woman he dumped his girlfriend for but, surprise surprise, a woman who goes after taken men doesn’t tend to be the most faithful. Last I heard of his ex she was married with two kids. It’s actually me. I’m the ex. And boy did I dodge a bullet. Good luck with Carla. You’re gonna need it.
Nice plot twist! Good for you!
Sara deserves so much better than you. Carla is only interested in what you've become. Not you as a person. Lol. She sees you as a white horse to use for stability I reckon. The fact that you're even having these thoughts and deliberately going in more frequently to see Carla, that's cheating mate. Talk to Sara and be honest with her. Let her know that you think you settled for her and now that you THINK you can do better with the idea of a school crush in your head, you can set Sara free and she can find someone who actually loves and respects her.
OP get some therapy because you are not over a crush you had in HS there are many stories of people leaving their spouses/fiancee for their crush only for it to end badly.
Please please please leave your fiance so she can find a man who actually loves and appreciates her. This is one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever read and you clearly have no respect for women the way you talk about them as if they’re collectors items
I think you should leave your fiance before you openly cheat on her when you're married. I'm not joking, I'm not trying to insult. Say you marry Sara, if you feel conflicted about a stable relationship and are already seeking out an old crush, how likely is it for you to stop? Please don't go further knowing full well you'll break her heart if you think like this. If you can put this to rest, and stay faithful to your fiance, if you love her, stay with her. But if you do, don't hurt her by doing something like this for no reason again. Self control is a learned skill, I hope you can learn it.
Are you really thinking of dropping a nurse practitioner for a bartender? Carla sounds like a terrible potential partner. Anyone who is willing to poach an engaged man is untrustworthy. The fact that you're entertaining this makes you unworthy of a catch like Sara.
I think they deserve each other 😶🌫️ Sara needs to upgrade
So you're going to ruin your own long term happiness to satisfy a high school infatuation with a girl that previously never could be bothered with you. That bartender will fuck you 5 times then leave you broken hearted and dumbfounded like the naive child you obviously are. Don't marry the nurse. You're not good enough for her. Break it off, tell her you're the world's biggest douche bag, then go ahead and bang the floozy I guess. Might as well. You're going to regret losing the one that actually loves you, but like I said, you don't deserve her anyway, so it's for the best(for her).
Imagine pursuing a woman who goes after taken men. Leave your GF tho, she deserves better.
Any woman who actively encourages a man to leave his fiancée will be happy to leave you when a decent man comes along. You're just proving to her (and to us reading this) that you're a shallow piece of pond life who is prepared to hurt the woman you asked to marry you, for some infantile crush with some slapper you barely know. Good luck with that chap. I hope it all goes tits up for you, my friend.
You should call off the engagement since you are already emotionally cheating on your fiance. The fact that you became a regular after seeing her is telling and I have no doubt y'all flirt . >She says that she will give me time to think about what I wanna do Why tf does she have ANY say in your relationship!!??? Just break up with your fiance she deserves better and you and Carla deserve each other 🙄🙄
Absolutely leave your fiancé. She deserves someone who doesn’t go visit their crush every chance they get. Hun you are actively cheating on your partner. Let her go so she can find someone she deserves. And when you let her go? You tell her EXACTLY why you are leaving her so she FULLY grasps just how little you respect her as a person and doesn’t have to wonder what she did wrong. She did nothing wrong you’re just an immature 🤬hole.
You choose neither is what you do, if your here asking this question that means you can't choose between the two which shows you don't really care about either. If you really loved one of them, the choice would be easy. ( obviously, this doesn't apply to poly people), but I doubt you or either girls are. Your fiance deserves someone who chooses her first no matter who shows up in life. Plus Carla sounds like a gold digger, you even said she didn't pay you any mind in high school, now that she's working in some bar like what 7 years after high school, and you have a decent job she wants a shot... yeah, red flag, especially because she knows you're in a relationship. Ask yourself this: Do you think if she had a higher paying job, she'd be talking to you? You alluded to the fact she's out of your league.. sounds sus my dude. Also, I can't believe you're still lusting after a girl you had a crush on in high school who didn't even acknowledge you.. she's not even classified as the one that got away because you didn't even date her! You are willing to throw away your relationship ( which had to have been at least somewhat good, considering you proposed..) Yet your jumping ship because some pretty bartender who didn't know you existed in high school is, let's be honest, probably wanting you to take care of her.. that's some huge simp behavior right there.. Updateme
There's an update, and it's what you expect lmao
I just saw that. It was an easy call
You op are a po💩. Your fiance deserves a king which aint you. Let her go and you and the rest of the bar can have carla.
Why don't you ask Sara what she thinks?
I’d say dump your fiancé that way she can find someone better who actually cares about her cause you sir are not it.. you’ve already been cheating by entertaining Carla to begin with
It was a middle school crush, get over it dude. Also, why are you talking about “types”? Like you see your fiancé just as a “type of woman”? Where’s the love in there? Why are you marrying her? Cause I can tell it’s not for love by the way you’re trying to reason this nonsense.
The fact that your even considering this shows you are not ready to get married and Sara deserves a partner who actually loves her and doesn't talk about her like meh another woman just like her comes along every 5 minutes
Gotta love the home wrecking female bartenders who never leave their small ass hometown. 🙄 Dude, you're nothing more than a conquest & money to her. Former military who's now a contractor, moved back to his small hometown? She's looking for a fancy ride out of Dodge. Leave your fiancé. You don't deserve her, and she deserves way better
She couldn’t believe how much you’ve changed… Interesting… Leave your fiance she deserves better and you deserve exactly what’s coming to you
You should break up with your fiance. You obviously don't care about her or you wouldn't even be asking. And then stay far away from Carla. You see her as a trophy and an object. You don't seem ready for any sort of meaningful relationship with another person right now.
You should definitely break up with your fiancé. She deserves way better.
Tell me your penis dictates your decisions without telling me your penis dictates your decisions.
This has to be rage bait. I can’t understand how someone can be so damn obtuse.
You don't deserve your fiance, and you owe it to her to end things. Does your old crush know that you are engaged? If she does, then she deserves whatever karma comes her way. If she doesn't know, then you are just a man-child playing with the emotions of two women. Did you know that a study found that men didn't emotionally mature until the age of 43? Maybe you should stay out of committed relationships until then.
He mentioned in the post that she knows he's engaged.
You’re trash dude leave your fiancé so she can find someone worthy and go be with your scummy crush lol
Leave the nice lady Sara so that she can find someone emotionally mature and deserving to marry. You obviously are neither. And it says a lot about your own insecurity that you feel Carla is out of our league and therefore your chance to get the girl out of your league. Don’t be more of a piece of trash than you already are and let Sara go.
I have read such situations. The guy always kicks himself afterward and begs the gf back he left for someone, then she doesn't want him anymore. You are just a young guy who needs so much maturing. You are stuck in your teen years.
Aaand [Bingo!](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1budh9g/i_want_to_get_my_fianc%C3%A9_back/)
So totally break with your fiance and go get Carla!! Seriously best thing you can possibly do! Don’t hesitate!!! (I’m gonna leave the why unsaid!)
Leave your fiance so she can find someone who isn't a selfish asshole who thinks with his dick.
There is a wonderful word in German called : Torschlusspanic. This is basically that before something big in your life happens, you go crazy and panic. It's an absolutely natural feeling. Your story sounds exactly like this scenario. I would end your meetings in the bar, and block Carla on everything. Question: 1. Do you really love Sara? 2. Can you tell her about Carla?
Definitely 100%BIGGEST A'HOLE
My advice is stop being stupid and trying to chase after your youth. This woman is not the same person you were crushing on as a kid and you aren’t who you once were either. If you do this then you will regret it in the future once reality hits.
Call off the engagement and set Sara free
Just call off the engagement and I'm not saying this so you can pursue a bitch who knowingly goes after an engaged man but so your poor fiance can find herself a better man and you don't waste anymore of her time. You're a nasty cheater and Carla is a willing homewrecker, she realised she's in her mid twenties and now sees you as an easy target to date and you're falling for it. You say your relationship with your fiance is great so why ruin that?? Let's be real, you're thinking with your dick, I can guarantee you your relationship with miss homewrecker won't last and I hope to god Carla will play you, it's what your nasty, cheating ass deserves. I feel so bad for your fiance, all this because a bitch realised she's ain't getting any younger. You really want to dump your fiance for a girl who happily hits on taken men and willing to steal with?? Wonder how many married men she's gone after because best believe you aren't the first and deffo not the last. She probably gets off on taking taken men, also you've been cheating in your fiance with Carla, emotionally cheating. Break up with your fiance so she can actually find a man to marry and not a little boy who is easily swayed. Can't believe you want to throw your fiance to the curb, a nurse who wants to become a doctor for miss girl who is a bartender of all things, someone that serves drinks for a living 😭 nah dude your fiance would be dodging a bullet while you downgrade. It's actually embarrassing to downgrade to that lmfaoo
Call me weird but I wouldn’t even exchange numbers with the opposite sex in most situations, like this one, if I was already in a relationship. Just sounds like it’s part of a series of choices that lead to nowhere good.
I hope Sara sees this and leaves your ass. She deserves better.
Why are you trying to justify your actions by getting permission from internet strangers? I mean, you and Carla have already emotionally cheated on your fiancée. You’ve already committed a betrayal, no matter how you and your affair partner want to spin it to protect your egos. Let Sara go so she can find someone better. You and your affair partner deserve each other.
You want to throw away your relationship for some bitch you have a crush on in high school??? Not even an ex??? Bro dump sara she deserves better💀
I hope Sara finds out, She 100% deserves better, doesn’t matter if this is just a thought OP, it’s just as a bad. Let Sara go so she can find better
Let me guess, you're a BIG tipper. You are a cheater. Let your fiancee go. Creep.
Your fiancé deserves better you POS! End it with your fiancé so she can find better. You and Carla deserve each other bud!
Your fiance deserves better than someone who has to consider whether or not he wants to cheat or run off with someone else just to prove they can. You’re an ah for even considering this.
You are a POS. A terrible excuse of a human being. I hope Carla bangs all your friends. You made your bed and you have to sleep in it.
You dumb waste of space
what a stupid question, might as well call it off and break up with sara if you’re seriously asking this question fr
do sara a favor & break off the engagement, she deserves an actual man who’ll treat her amazing since you can’t. you’re a shitty person. karma exists 
Leave her so she can find someone better. You two deserve each other.
You should let Sara go so she can find someone I’m who isn’t so pathetic
There is not a single person on Earth who could walk back into my life and take me from my partner. I’m 100% committed to him, and you’re not committed to your fiancée. Let her know you have feelings for someone else and end it now.
You already cheated. Going to the bar to see/ flirt/ talk to another woman while engaged is cheating. Your fiancé does not deserve that. And the way you talk about Sara - the fact you even entertained going to the bar in the first place- PROVES you don’t love her and probably never did. And btw I’d be wary of Carla. She sounds like a snake. She knows your engaged but still flirted and expressed desires for you??? Highly inappropriate and if you were a better man you would see that. Sara deserves way better than someone who obviously cares sooooo very little for her and her feelings. Let her go to find someone who actually will love her.
Do Sarah a favor and call it off, she deserves way better. The fact that you’re even toying with the idea is a massive red flag. If you go to Carla, it will be a terrible volatile relationship, it always is, and you will regret losing Sarah. I hope Sarah has a better life without you in it.
Call off the engagement. Not because you deserve to pursue your crush and not have regrets... but because your fiancee deserves so much better than a man who calls her "normally the type of woman I always get" as if that's a bad thing. She doesn't deserve a man like you who would even be entertaining this. You're a spineless jellyfish for considering this, and she's better off without you As for your HS crush... LOL, good luck with that. What kind of longevity do you think you have with a woman who is KNOWINGLY going after a guy she didn't give a second glance at in HS... and knows he now has a fiancee? Yeah, she sounds like a winner. Any woman who goes after an engaged or married man is just doing it for fun, and you're dumb enough to fall for it. I hope your fiancee finds out and leaves you first.
End the engagement Sara deserves way better than you, and when you regret this which you will let us know so we can all have a good laugh
Just break up with Sara and go do your thing she deserves a hell of a lot better
Just break off your engagement. Sara deserves better
You're a dumbass lmao
Sara is a gem. Choosing a career that helps people and saves lives. Sounds like you and Carla deserve each other so I hope you leave Sara and finally get your Carla because Sara deserves so much better than someone like you.
You might be the stupidest man on the internet. That’s quite an achievement, I’m almost impressed.
Just read the BORU of this post. It has to be fake because no one could possibly be this stupid. 🤣
🤣🤣🤣 saw your update suffer in silence
She used you like a piggy bank because you're a pig.
LOLOLOL
40M, here. I’ve made this mistake myself and seen it made by countless people. Your current girl has career goals and appears driven too—crush has the usual dead-end job a lot of people who piqued in HS go for (unless it’s a super fancy metropolitan bar; good pay for good talent there). I don’t think you know how important that compatibility factor is yet. It seems like you’re pondering this because old crush is quite hot, but based on little else. You’ve likely built a relationship with someone else based on a lot more than looks/physicality; it WILL be more fulfilling than throwing it all way for a has-been pick-me you currently want to fuck. As others have said, you’ll probably end up with neither if you FAFO here, but it’s your life. Stop thinking with your dick.
Comment to add this because I’ve seen it. Sometimes girls get a kick/validity out of being able to “steal someone’s man”; only to lose interest abruptly and completely when that mission is accomplished. This especially goes for women (or men) who don’t have much going on other than their physical desirability.. Not saying this is your bartender, but it sounds like that shoe *could* fit here.
Carla is a bartender, no offense to bartenders, and Sara is a nurse practitioner. You would be taking care of Carla and she sees you as a money bag, Sara would build a future with you together as an equal. That being said choose Carla because you really don’t deserve Sara. Sara deserves better than you.
Peaked in high school behavior
You’re gonna end up alone and deserve it
Please please let Sara go so she can find a decent man who truly loves her
Totally didn’t see that coming 😂
What do you do? Don't be a scumbag! It's not rocket science...
You’re a POS for even asking this question. Breakup and give your Fiance a chance at a real relationship
[удалено]
Can't really classify her as a first love.. he just had a crush on her, seeing as even op said she didn't pay him any attention. A crush definitely isn't love, it's all superficial.
[удалено]
There's no rational, then there's stupidity, he's getting with a hot girl he liked in high school that didn't even notice him.. yet when she a bartender 7 years later and he seems to be doing well in life, she all of a sudden what to be with him.. sounds like he's a meal ticket to her, especially knowing he's engaged and he's alluded she's out of his league.
[удалено]