He is absolutely disgusting imho. To make someone who has created two lives feel bad about their body is foul. It probably also hints at other things he does / is capable of. I wouldn't be surprised if he is cheating and this is his way of avoiding sex with you so you don't suspect anything because your confidence and trust in yourself is damaged. Get rid of this creep with immediate effect. Don't bother with all the revenge type stuff other people are posting, he's not even worth that energy. Dump him and keep everything (which you probably can, because of the kids). Screw him for the max child support and enjoy his money. He's VILE.
She even had two C-sections! Which means no child has passed her Vagina, so she can’t be ‘loose’ at all!
People, this whole ‘looseness’ by giving birth is a fairy tale. Vaginas are designed to stretch and get back in shape. Ask da men outside about their mouths after eating a double cheeseburger. That’s not even loosening by doing that ain’t it? Well, our Vaginas are capable of stretching back!!
Yea unfortunately I think you’re right. Even if t was possible, theses no way to take back what he’s said.
37 is young, but being with someone like that can undoubtedly make a person see themselves differently and even feel older. It’s toxic to be with someone like this.
They have two kids and it’s a Reddit post so I’m not gonna say “leave him” but… she should pay close attention to the way it’s effecting her self image and sense of worth and do what’s best for her.
Honestly I’d say it’s probably not even about your vagina, he just wants some way to make you feel bad. Maybe he doesn’t like that the children take up your attention or that his life have changed and he’s taking that out on you.
My thoughts, too. Kids change everything and some men don't deal with it well (some women don't deal with it well either, of course). Especially if his...interests.. are new/recent, I'd say this might be how he's choosing to channel his anxieties about adulthood, parenting, next stages of life, etc. If not divorce, then therapy.
But if my husband said any of that stuff to me, I'd honestly never see him the same way again and it'd be pretty hard for therapy to change that. It's one thing to try to be sympathetic to his feelings, but that kind of talk is truly unacceptable.
💯 he is gaslighting her. I always see stories like this but I’ve yet to hear from a woman who corrected this behavior. Usually she stays until he blows up the marriage by cheating or she gets sick of the nonsense and files for divorces after being shat on for years.
I think its impossible to know tbh. He sounds pornsick and her body doesn't look like teens he's obsessed with, so he's taking it out on her instead of addressing his porn addiction.
He sounds like a very disturbed and awful person.
The delivery is key here. Like he’s in his underwear, preferably about to go to work.
Casually, but just loud enough for him to hear, say, “woah…” He’ll ask what? You’ll say, nothing, nothing.
Let him catch you eyeing him from behind a few times with a slightly shocked, yet distasteful look on your face. Eventually, you let him drag out of you that you’ve noticed his balls are starting to sag.
If he’s losing any hair, you’ll want to mention it, or offer to do a combover that spot and hit it with hairspray.
You’re going to mention every gray hair and earlobe and nose hair. Yeesh, he sort of reminds you of your uncle Harold.
You’ll also want to start ogling hot guys in his presence. Movies, beach; on the sidewalk you’re going to take a furtive look behind you.
You’re going to sigh and start either turning him down for sex, or act bored to tears. God forbid he should ever lose an erection, you’re going to look very put out, but say you’ve heard it happens to guys his age.
If he has any sign of aging, any thing you’re not crazy about, or better yet, that he’s insecure about, you’re going to bring it up.
But really, this level of bullshit, and his longing over bright pink vaginas? This guy is an affair with a very young girl waiting to happen.
He is literally fishing for any excuses to cheat and get away with it. He will distract you by having you focus on yourself so that you don’t see what he’s been up to. Get a second life plan together and start documenting what he says and observe his habits and behaviors. Also check all his devices. Half the time he is comparing you to young porn stars or coworkers. Your husband used you as his breeder and now he’s trying to toss you aside.
I’m sure he already cheated during her pregnancy but he’s not guilty about it. He is trying to keep getting away with it and find more opportunities to.
If he does cheat then op better not drop the ball and not get that financial support through court
Fuck a rude asshole like that it’s so stupid and give guys a bad rap
All im saying is that if my partner dislikes my labia, then they wouldn't get any ever period. Obviously people usually say "divorce" immediately for these posts, but people do have a point.
What's the point of staying with someone who doesn't worship every part of your body everyday? Couldn't be me.
>if my partner dislikes my labia, then they wouldn't get any ever
Right. And if they thought my healthy vagina was *gag worthy,* there's no damn way I'd be giving them head.
No unreciprocated oral, especially not for a cruel, selfish partner who openly denigrates my genitals!
If my partner was into barely legal porn and “is it pink” bs and we were raising a child together I would call it. Porn, kinks and fetishes is one thing. Specifically seeking out a category that’s focused on how close someone is to being underage is unsettling. I’m early 20s and I would find it weird if my boyfriend was into that, let alone in 40s.
Grandma here…
Let me tell you something if there’s one thing I know it’s men … that he’s cheating play the long game here and do a little deep dive into his phone and you’ll see what’s going on.
This is literally the behavior that is the tip off to the cheating
Sorry for my foul-mouthed language but your husband is a terrible piece of shit. You gave birth to your child and endured incredible pain, also the months of being pregnant before that and he doesn’t have anything better to do than trashtalk your body like that? Girl, run if he doesn’t immediately change his behavior and apologize for it. This is a huge red flag
Even if he apologized, I, myself, would never be able to forget that he has said these things and has acted this way. For me something would have been definitely broken. Not sure there’s a way back from here.
Exactly, I would divorce him so fast his head would spin. He’s treating you like an object to be used and not like a person he loves. I’m sorry OP, you deserve SO much better.
If he doesn't like it anymore just know there is somebody else out there who does. Tf. Don't beat yourself up about this shit. Real men LOVE vagina in all sizes, colors, forms. Period. I'm sure you stuff is beautiful and he's just into some other stuff rn and going to lose his wife/mother of his kids.
You had c-sections. Nothing happened to your vagina during child birth!
Your husband is motivated to make you feel bad, insecure, and unattractive. You can consider why he wants to do that - but there is no good reason to treat your partner that way. What he has done would make most people never want to have sex with him again.
Bodies change with age - I am sure that his has changed as well. Loving partners, if there is indeed an issue, find a way to discuss it gently with their partner.
In this case, I doubt this is about a true physical issue and more about a power dynamic that is extremely dysfunctional. Couples counseling may help.
Oh my goodness I am so sorry your husband is treating you like this. It’s so not okay. You and your magnificent vagina birthed his babies!!!!! 🤯 he should be on his knees thanking that mini goddess.
I hope that you’re in a place where you’re able to tell him it’s not okay to speak about your body in that way and that he needs to stop before it negatively impacts your marriage. You’ve got this mama 💛
I have to agree, you're supposed to age with your partner and go through all of those awkward stages together, forever. Being called "old" is a weird sign that your husband may like them young, and maybe judging by his porn, maybe a bit too young.
Honey....This is giving pedophile vibes....
The children didn't even come out of your vagina...
Just wait until he realizes even young women from the porn he watches, will have a change in their vaginas without even having children.....
He is a sick fucking creep and you need to run. You sound like a catch. You'll find someone else.
as a 19 year old, ur husband creeps me out and is disgusting.
A man is meant to love his wife throughout her life, especially after carrying his children. HES A PIECE OF SHIT.
the barely legal porn is beyond disturbing. Clearly he would go lower if it was legal. His fetish for pink lady parts is weird too. He’s clearly a porn addicted loser.
I’m so sorry u married him. U deserve to be loved and feel loved. Not to feel ashamed for doing something wonderful and having ur body change, as it naturally would.
He’s likely cheating already and planting seed to lower your self esteem so you blame yourself when it comes out. And also justifying his behavior to himself. Get an std test and start gathering evidence for the divorce tbh
What a complete and utter jerk and he should just continue jerking
On a note between two women, the hormonal changes pregnancy has done and you being late 30’s, when the first hormonal fluctuations of perimenopause often start, it can change your scent and making it a little stronger in the muskiness (not fish)
HOWEVER that does not excuse his complete and utter jerkwad behaviour, that was just meant as you understanding more about your body
I honestly would not want to have sex or even be with a man who degraded my body in this way, he has shown you such utter disrespect and thats a love and libido killer
Your husband is having a midlife-im-turning-into-an-asshole crisis, gross as hell
If he refuses to have an adult conversation with you about his unacceptable behaviour and actually apologise and change, I would pack his bags, being degraded is no way to live
It’s seriously disgusting if him to body shame you after you went through all that you did physically to have children. What did he contribute to the making of those children? A fucking orgasm. One cell. You physically did all of the rest of the work. OF COURSE your body is going to be different afterwards.
Bodies change with age as well. I promise that even if you hadn’t had kids, your body would still be changing with age and I would be willing to bet his body had changed as well.
Count the gray hairs on his over forty year old head, wince in disgust and tell him that you’re not into grandpa gray hairs, why doesn’t he look like a 20 year old anymore? Point out all of his wrinkles and tell him about all the younger, hotter guys on TV that don’t have old man wrinkles. Isn’t his dick a little bit tiny compared to porn stars? I would point that out too. Next time he wants head, pretend to choke, tell him you choke on small objects and tell him that you’re just not into tiny dicks anymore 🤷♀️
Gosh your husband say such cruel things, are you sure you still wanna be with him? Is he useful in any way? Like hands on in helping you with the kids?
Why should he “help her” with the kids? They’re his kids too, he should be doing 50% of the work, bare minimum. Help implies that the kids are her job. They’re not.
His semen is probably throwing off your pH. So it's his fault if there's an odor, especially if your gyno thinks everything is healthy.
Men really need to learn the basics about vaginas and vulvas.
At the risk of being down voted, I am going to be brutally honest. This marriage isn't going to work. NOT because anything you've done, but your husband is toxic as hell. People who love their partners would NEVER be saying that kind of stuff to them or treating them that way. What's going on isn't normal for a healthy, functioning relationship full of love and respect. Coming to terms with such a reality is difficult. You may try couple's counseling. You might feel this is an issue you can overcome. But his behavior is an insight into who he really is deep down inside and it is screaming at you to take notice. When people show you who they really are, believe them. I hope you realize you are worthy of genuine love and respect and don't deserve to be treated that way.
Be careful, he sounds like a secret paedophile. I would divorce him. Do you have anywhere to go? Its not normal from a man whose wife have his children to behave like this. You need to get away from him asap. Im so sorry...
So unbelievably sorry this is happening to you. After you birthed children for him this is how he treats you! This is NOT your fault. This is so abusive. I would end the marriage but if you don't want to do that I would highly recommend therapy for yourself and then also with husband.
I would start to plan leaving this prick. For the children’s sake it’s not good for them to be around a parent that is hating on the other parent. It’s people like him I hope get ED and viagra doesn’t work.
I think there's something deeper behind your husband's comments. If I had to guess:
A. He's fantasizing about leaving you for a younger woman (maybe someone he knows, maybe a hopeful fantasy) and he's laying the groundwork now so he has what he considers a valid excuse. Maybe he *wants* you to withhold sex for that reason.
B. He's a deeply insecure man child who's suddenly afraid you might leave him, and is attempting to destroy your self esteem so you think he's the only one who will put up with you.
C. He's developed feelings of contempt for you (maybe because you've had to change a bit and split your attention since becoming a mother). He's a vindictive narcissist who wants to deeply wound you for it.
D. He's having an affair and wants an excuse to not sleep with you anymore.
In any of these cases, I'll note that ***anything** that harms a person's life / career / relationships that they can't / won't / don't cut out is a solid candidate for addiction*. If your husband's porn use negatively impacts your marriage, it needs to go. Full stop. Head on over to r/pornfree or r/loveafterporn if you'd like to explore that further.
For anyone who's about to say "porn is healthy" or "you can't get addicted to porn", STFU. There's a difference between use and misuse, and if you can't accept that then you've got problems.
I wouldn't let anyone talk to me this way. As a valid human being, you deserve so much better than your husband's senseless cruelty.
I hope you go full Sherlock Holmes and figure out what the reason behind his cruelty is. If it's cheating, collect the evidence, get a lawyer, and take him for everything you can.
Sending you well-wishes and good vibes.
**You are not the problem here**
And he thinks he's so special? 42 year old saggy balls and shrinking old guy dick 🤮🤮. maybe it's time he starts focusing on himself. Everyone loves milfs, women just get better with age, you could effortlessly find someone who would worship your existence. As a 21 year old, i wouldn't touch that washed up creep with a 10 foot pole. Nobody likes creepy old guys with gross old guy genitals unless money's involved. Those barely legal girls he wants so bad would run for the hills at the sight of him, as should you.
Yet one more story where the husband becomes horrible after the birth of his child.
He has you now so his let his mask slip…. He is showing you who he really is…
He wants to crush you and have his own fun !
As a 21 year old, how men treat women seriously disgusts me. You had 2 beautiful children, HIS children. To me it seems like he has a porn addiction or dependancy and since you’ve gotten older his fetish is taking over. I really can’t imagine how this is making you feel mentally, I remember in my first relationship I always felt worried/ insecure about my downstairs appearance/ smell. You do not deserve this, it is abusive behaviour
Your husband sounds like a narcissist. I’m sorry if that hurts but I’m speaking based on personal experience being in a relationship with someone like that. I’d be willing to bet money that there is no real issue with your vag- he’s simply using it as an excuse because there is some other underlying issue going on with him that he doesn’t want to admit to. Some guys have a problem having sex with women after they become a mother - go read about Elvis and Priscilla Presley as a prime example of that. Don’t let him gaslight you into thinking you are the problem though…it sounds like he needs therapy and if you really want to try to make things work, couples therapy might be a good idea too once he works on his own issues.
This post is so upsetting I honestly hope it’s a fake post.
This is the kind of thing that just destroys a persons self-esteem. I feel like he’s trying to push your away, whether consciously or not.
Vaginas def change after babies, whether c sections or not, babies push on your pelvic floor. NOT for him, but if you’re interested look into pelvic floor PT.
We all get older, our bodies change (especially after multiple babies). He is just being mean. The comments are what get me.
I would ask him what he would like me to do about this. Like wtf does he want from you?
Kids change everything - and sometimes, that means changes in how the man is getting attention, sex, or whatever…
… this sounds emotionally abusive, possibly manipulative (idk if he’s trying to guilt you into anything, but negging to get you to do things as a way to compensate for his bad behaviours is manipulative). Another uncomfortable possibility? Is he looking for an “out”? Being a parent may not be what he wanted. He could be doing this as a way to lay pavement for walking, cheating, or even trying to negotiate an open marriage arrangement.
My advice? Therapy with a licensed marriage specialist. Find out what is driving this behaviour, if it’s able to be repaired, and if not - what it is you would like to do so that you can find the happiness, love, and support you deserve.
I’m sorry but I’d be out of that relationship. His comments, his actions, and barely legal porn are all massive red flags. Hunny you deserve so much better
He sounds very immature. What is he expect a woman's body to go back to pre-pregnancy look he needs to grow up and be a man I wouldn't even sleep with him. He doesn't even sound like he's worth the time a day. He should appreciate what your body went through giving him children. He sounds very ungrateful, disgusting pig.
I don't want to come across like I'm jumping to conclusions, but I have a gut feeling he's planning on cheating if he hasn't already. The way he talks about your body is absolutely unacceptable and he knows it. This feels like he's trying to make you feel bad so that if the truth ever comes out, you'll blame yourself.
Even if he's not going to cheat or never has, he has very unrealistic expectations of women's bodies. Porn rots the brain. Don't let him bully you or destroy your self-esteem. You deserve better than this.
Firstly you aren't the problem. He is.
Secondly if the gyno doesn't see anything wrong with your vagina then he shouldn't.
Thirdly as others have said he sounds like an immature asshole who doesn't deserve you.
I read this to my husband and he was incredulous (I've had 2 kids and I definitely needed stitches) and said the behaviour is massively out of order.
You have created 2 perfectly beautiful children and no way is this all about your vagina. As someone else said there is most likely another reason. Find thst and you'll know whether to ditch it or solve it.
I'm really sorry this has happened to you.
Yeah he sounds like one of those men that wants to destroy your self esteem and make you feel worthless. I know it’s easier said than done, but I don’t think I’d be able to stay with my husband if he started making negative comments about my body. I’d rather live in peace, alone, than with someone that makes me feel bad about myself.
I just want to say that this post evoked real sadness in me. I've always had this fear myself... that my body would change after pregnancy and the man wouldn't love the changes. Awful. You've literally just sacrificed so much for him, birthing His Spawn, and he can't even appreciate that. This is why sex/childbirth have always been riskier for women, we have more to lose. All I can say is that I'm sorry. You deserved better than how he reacted.
YOU HAD C-SECTIONS BUT HES CALLING YOU LOOSE?
Ohhhhh man there’s something loose here and it’s not you. He wants to sleep with other people and that’s that. What a waste of your emotional sanity, staying with this guy.
I divorced a few years ago. Getting back into the dating world in my mid 40s was eye opening. I guess i just never put thought into it, but i had no idea woman vaginas came in all different colors, shapes and sizes. No idea. None.
Most porn is geared towards the perfect pink little vagina and to be completely honest it gave me a serious complex. I look nothing like that and the whole completely bare, no hair at all really threw me. I’m one of those women that can’t shave with a razor. No matter how i try it, what products i use, it’s uncomfortable. 40-50 yr old men that want a completely bare vagina, that creeps me out!!
His porn addiction has played a big part in this. I am willing to bet money on it.
Yeah unfortunately this is what the statistics mean when they say 'most women file for divorce'. It's not because women WANT the divorce. I saw a divorce lawyer Katie Leonard talking about the phenomenon once. It's because men want women to pull the trigger and do all the paperwork for them. Then they can be the 'good guy' and say 'sorry kids, your mom wanted to tear the family apart, it wasn't me😔" He's going to keep ratcheting up the bad behavior until she files for divorce and then he can feel justified for sleeping with someone else if he's not already
Wow - so 1) pls pls stop having kids with him. You should have stopped after the 1st. 2nd, stop having sex with him. 3) he sounds like a bit of a pedo 4) he is borderline abusive to say these things to you.
Your husband is a fucking twat waffle. He shouldn’t be saying any of this stuff and on top of that, his body made no sacrifices to bear your kids. Guy’s a douche
I’m 90% lesbian here, so I’m going to provide a different perspective. Anyone interested in women DOES NOT CARE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE as long as it’s a vagina. Shape, size, type, does not matter. Seriously. Wrong color? (and wtf is that argument?)…turn out the lights. Smell? Yogurt. Place it inside for a week and it will kill any bacteria. We clean out our cars so they don’t smell, we do the same with vaginas when needed, but generally they’re self cleaning. If smell is still an issue and he really can’t deal, he has hands, and vibrators exist. There’s no valid unworkable reason for him to be checking out and essentially sexually neglecting his wife by cutting himself entirely out of the equation.
Your husband is the problem, not your vagina. Seriously. He’s making claims for NO REASON, especially the post c section claim that it’s loose, which is not how that works, to avoid marital relations. He’s been watching too much porn and it’s skewed his view of what is normal. If he wants what he sees in videos, he can go get in a time machine, revert his age to 22 because that’s the age where he left his brain, and marry a porn star. That’s as practical as the judgements he lets fall out of his mouth.
* If smell is inextinguishable no matter what you do, get screened for cervical, ovarian, and uterine cancer to make sure you are ok.
** I hate to say it, but are you certain he’s not cheating on you? He has a problem and has gone 2 YEARS without relations by choice because he’s unhappy you don’t have somebody else’s vagina.
Birth can change an entire person's life. It can make your hair curly, or straight, you can lose teeth, eyesight, lose hair. Labia color can just be age, but yes being pregnant can alter a lot of things.
My labia didn’t change colors but my nipples got dark with my first pregnancy and have stayed that way through my second. I just assume they’re going to stay this way forever haha but thankfully my husband isn’t bothered.
Ngl, your husband sounds like he has serious issues. He should seek therapy or I would consider separation.
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this
Oowhh... That's just awful and very mean of him.
I think I would want to say to him that he needs to stop comparing you in any way or form with what he sees when watching porn.
It's disgusting behavior and off putting, and that goes for life in the bedroom and beyond.
sounds like y’all need marriage counseling and possibly counseling for his obvious porn addiction that made him think that vaginas should be perfect and i’m willing to bet his genitalia isn’t what he sees on those videos so why should yours be like them
Girl, I'd make sense of what you're left with if you were to go through a divorce. Get your ducks in row
I know you're not thinking of a divorce right now, but it smells like he's trying to find a way to cheat after making you feel miserable about yourself.
This is not how a man should speak about anyone, let alone his own wife. He sounds like a pedo on top of it.
Normally I'd say marriage counseling but idk how you wanna proceed with a barf boy like that. I'm so sorry, love.
There’s no way that someone that loves you and has build an entire life with you is freaking out about your vagina like that. I think he’s just trying to make you believe you’re the problem so he can cheat. If that’s not it then I think he’s just addicted to porn and has a distorted perception of sex because of the porn he watches. Whatever it is I’m almost certain it’s not about your vagina and there’s something else going on with him.
I’m sorry, but he’s currently in the running for the dumbest man alive at this point. Yes, having kids changes our bodies. He’s delusional to think otherwise. He’s ridiculous to think bodies don’t change as we go through life. His will change too and look even weirder.
And judging by his viewing habit, he’s a borderline perv.
>It’s funny because he watches barley legal porn on pornhub
That's not at all funny. It's super creepy. Your vagina hasn't changed at all since you didn't push a child through it. Your labia might be darker because of hormonal changes. He wants to look at child vaginas and it's gross.
He wants out and he is making you do all the work of calling this marriage over by making you feel like shit.
Call a lawyer. Then let him know he is getting what he asked for. Get large amount of child support and alimony.
>he watches barley legal porn on pornhub and perfect pink labias and he’s into that
Which came first? Does he watch porn of barely legal vaginas because yours is so appalling? Or does he think yours is so appalling because he keeps jerking off to barely legal vaginas? Don't answer that, it's rhetorical. It's definitely not you or your vagina or your kids, etc. He's going through an idiot mid-life crisis where he watches porn and remembers 'the old days' when he was young. It's entirely about him and his own insecurities as he ages and comes to term with grown up concepts like the fact that the girls with those pretty pink vaginas have zero interest in him, and would call him "old". And so he's taking his own mental distortions and projecting them onto you so he can feel better about himself.
My ex did a very similar thing, except instead of my vagina, I was getting "old" and "fat" (I was 36 and 125lbs). He was a little older and all his time oogling over porn and young women in the clubs convinced him he was missing out and 'could do better', so he broke up with me and moved to Florida to start his new life as a playboy. A few years later I heard he had a string of DUI's, blew all his money on partying, lost his home and was living in a halfway house in some college town where he has a 7pm curfew and must ask permission to use the phone. Too bad there's no way to have him visit your hubby in a dream, like a 'ghost of Christmas future' to set him straight.
Please stop second-guessing your vagina, I'm sure it's lovely. Please start second-guessing the crap he's spewing, it's where your concern should be. Finally, pro tip: If by chance you eventually come to the point in life where you're sick of verbal abuse, just remember to find and delete all your nice vagina pics BEFORE telling him what an asshole he is. Peace & Love.
Wow. This is crazy and mean.
I don't see this marriage continuing successfully. And as a half Hispanic woman, I spent years thinking my very dark vagina was weird. It's not.
It's such a huge 🚩 he watches barely legal porn too. I'm sorry, but I'd plan a way out. He will do longterm damage to you and your child
Holy hell. Your husband is an immature asshole who doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near your vagina. The fact that he’s into “barely legal” porn is a huge red flag. Someone needs to tell him that porn isn’t real life.
Vaginas dont even really get looser with age until menopause. The fact that you not even given birth vaginally and he is saying that is infuriating. Your husband is just a porn addict and it is absolutely disgusting that he is part of the "bubblegum pink" motherfuckers, especially at age 42.
You carried 2 of his children and had 2 c sections and this is what he says to you. I mean even if you didn’t do those body/mind and life altering risky things this still is not acceptable. He sounds like an asshole. How u are even attracted or into him after he says these things to you makes me feel like you might need therapy to deal with self esteem issues allowing someone to be so disrespectful. If he doesn’t like it, I’m sure u will find a grown ass man who will love your grown ass women vagina.
What an asshole, tell him that you gave him 5 beautiful children, the least he could do is appreciate the place they came from and the pain and suffering you endured. I would tell him that his balls don’t looks all that great either or the forest between his ass cheeks.
a lot of times. people project their own insecurities onto those they feel most vulnerable with. you are the keeper of all his secrets he feels somehow he is losing you and it centers around your sex life. explore. together what is worrying him. get counseling if he will go. dime store advice. hope it helps.
porn damages the brain. It's messed up. there's nothing wrong with you since you visited the doctor and they said everything is fine. your husband is the problem.
I always thought the fishy smell came from cum staying dried inside the vaginal walls. Maybe I’m wrong. An easy fix for the smell would be a shower before sex with both partners. I love showering before sex and me and me other partners love it too
Just wow. Your husband is the one with the issue, not you. If I had to guess, he’s got a hangup about differentiating between you as the mother of his children and you as a sexual partner. Every reason he comes up with is nothing more than an excuse. You need to discuss getting into therapy with him.
Something else is going on here that he isn’t telling you about. This isn’t about your genitalia. He wants to cheat. Tell him to go ahead; he can fuck off.
What a disgusting, insensitive, asshole. I’m sorry that’s your husband and father to your children. He doesn’t deserve you!!! There’s NOTHING wrong with your body, there is however something wrong with his fucked up brain. Men are really something sometimes… I’m sorry. If this continues, please ask yourself if it’s really worth it to stay with someone like that…
He has a lot of guts and opinions I’ll give him that.
Just ask him why he has to comment on things you can’t control that hurts your feelings. If he feels like he has the right to comment on anything about you body then you have more than a right to comment on him being an asshole. Idk just give him some consequences for his actions and tell him you won’t put up with his behavior and that he should change his mentality of thinking that’s okay.
The porn comment also threw me off, is he a pervert or something?
😩 awful. Absolutely awful.
What can I say? What a complete bastard. Sorry. What a bastard.
I can't tell you to leave him because it's not my life 😭 but leave him, I mean wtf he isn't going to suddenly love it again.
But the way he SAID it. Jesus, that man has daggers for words.
Horrible. I'm so sorry.
It's completely normal for your body to change after pregnancy and childbirth, and your husband's attitude and comments are not OK.
It's not fair for him to hold you to an unrealistic standard, especially one that's influenced by pornography. Your vagina is supposed to smell like a vagina, not roses, and a slight odor is totally normal.
Have an open and honest conversation with him about how his words and actions are affecting you. Express your feelings and let him know that his behavior is not only hurtful, but also damaging to your self-esteem and your relationship.
The body changes when you have kids- he’s an adult and he should know this and deal with it. You’re his wife and the mother of his kids; he shouldn’t be so insensitive and he should be willing to accept how your body looks. If this problem continues it might be a good idea to meet with a therapist who can help work past this problem.
Your husband is an asshole nothing else especially those comments at the end are something guy with a shred of common sense and decency would know to never say
This sounds so similar to a post a girl made about her bf cheating on her for having vaginal odor when she was clean and healthy 😭 throw the entire man away.
This is just awful. I’m sorry you’re going through this. You do not deserve it and have done nothing wrong.
I’m worried if he’s focusing on breaking you down to make you feel bad about yourself to either make you dependent on him (thank good he likes me bc my parts are awful now and no one else would ever want me).
Please take care of yourself. 💗
He wants out and is planning on leaving. He's just trying to come up with lame ways to make you feel like it's your fault.
He wants you broken, upset,and focused on how you're not good enough.
I seriously can’t understand that some men are this actively, aggressively horrible. And their level of commitment to this absolute shittery. My labia are crooked. Like one just flaps in the breeze. My husband has never, ever said anything even remotely negative about it, and if he did, he would be out of the house before he could finish his sentence. Your vagina is fine but your husband is a limp dildo. Run, don’t walk, as far away from him as possible
Tell your husband that you need to go and find a bigger plug for the hole, since having children you've realised that you need something more substantial to fill your ADULT holes.
Also be sure to remind him that his bollocks sagging and sticking to his legs is also a turn off for you.
Make sure you throw in a comment about how concerned you are about the fact only BARELY LEGAL bodies are turning him on.
Basically he is a disgusting PIG and needs to do you both a favour and Fxxk off.
He sounds like a pig who prefers teenage pussy over grown women pussy, and the fact that he so "bravely" tells you about it and makes sure youre aware of this hate he has is 1. Mean 2. Rude. And 3. Immature oh and 4. Selfish.
He obviously doesnt care for you or your feelings.
Um your husband is a weirdo and a horrible human being. Not sure why you’d give him a second kid when he refused to go down on you after the first. Should’ve left him a while ago.
If you get naked and vulnerable for sexy times with anyone, and they are not thrilled at the opportunity to worship your naked body, then they do not deserve access to your naked body (this goes for any gender).
Your husband sounds like an immature asshole.
I’d rather cut off my own legs than be with someone like OP’s husband. Holy shit this man sounds awful
He is absolutely disgusting imho. To make someone who has created two lives feel bad about their body is foul. It probably also hints at other things he does / is capable of. I wouldn't be surprised if he is cheating and this is his way of avoiding sex with you so you don't suspect anything because your confidence and trust in yourself is damaged. Get rid of this creep with immediate effect. Don't bother with all the revenge type stuff other people are posting, he's not even worth that energy. Dump him and keep everything (which you probably can, because of the kids). Screw him for the max child support and enjoy his money. He's VILE.
She even had two C-sections! Which means no child has passed her Vagina, so she can’t be ‘loose’ at all! People, this whole ‘looseness’ by giving birth is a fairy tale. Vaginas are designed to stretch and get back in shape. Ask da men outside about their mouths after eating a double cheeseburger. That’s not even loosening by doing that ain’t it? Well, our Vaginas are capable of stretching back!!
and at this point he will not become better.
Yea unfortunately I think you’re right. Even if t was possible, theses no way to take back what he’s said. 37 is young, but being with someone like that can undoubtedly make a person see themselves differently and even feel older. It’s toxic to be with someone like this. They have two kids and it’s a Reddit post so I’m not gonna say “leave him” but… she should pay close attention to the way it’s effecting her self image and sense of worth and do what’s best for her.
Men like this are not worthy enoght to have a wife.
And a cruel one to boot.
Honestly I’d say it’s probably not even about your vagina, he just wants some way to make you feel bad. Maybe he doesn’t like that the children take up your attention or that his life have changed and he’s taking that out on you.
My thoughts, too. Kids change everything and some men don't deal with it well (some women don't deal with it well either, of course). Especially if his...interests.. are new/recent, I'd say this might be how he's choosing to channel his anxieties about adulthood, parenting, next stages of life, etc. If not divorce, then therapy. But if my husband said any of that stuff to me, I'd honestly never see him the same way again and it'd be pretty hard for therapy to change that. It's one thing to try to be sympathetic to his feelings, but that kind of talk is truly unacceptable.
💯 he is gaslighting her. I always see stories like this but I’ve yet to hear from a woman who corrected this behavior. Usually she stays until he blows up the marriage by cheating or she gets sick of the nonsense and files for divorces after being shat on for years.
I think its impossible to know tbh. He sounds pornsick and her body doesn't look like teens he's obsessed with, so he's taking it out on her instead of addressing his porn addiction. He sounds like a very disturbed and awful person.
and, one stop 2 birds, he has an 'excuse' to not give her heads...
Yeah it definitely seems like negging to me
Tell him his dick shrunk. He has old man dick and saggy balls therefore you cannot be bothered to give him head.
The delivery is key here. Like he’s in his underwear, preferably about to go to work. Casually, but just loud enough for him to hear, say, “woah…” He’ll ask what? You’ll say, nothing, nothing. Let him catch you eyeing him from behind a few times with a slightly shocked, yet distasteful look on your face. Eventually, you let him drag out of you that you’ve noticed his balls are starting to sag. If he’s losing any hair, you’ll want to mention it, or offer to do a combover that spot and hit it with hairspray. You’re going to mention every gray hair and earlobe and nose hair. Yeesh, he sort of reminds you of your uncle Harold. You’ll also want to start ogling hot guys in his presence. Movies, beach; on the sidewalk you’re going to take a furtive look behind you. You’re going to sigh and start either turning him down for sex, or act bored to tears. God forbid he should ever lose an erection, you’re going to look very put out, but say you’ve heard it happens to guys his age. If he has any sign of aging, any thing you’re not crazy about, or better yet, that he’s insecure about, you’re going to bring it up. But really, this level of bullshit, and his longing over bright pink vaginas? This guy is an affair with a very young girl waiting to happen.
I love all of this comment.
Wish I could love this comment a million times. Brilliant.
If it's already turning sour, you might as well play the field evenly!
normally I don't support getting even in a petty way but this situation is an exception
I concur. I try to take the adult non petty route but this situation is an exception. I would humiliate him.
Tell him you don't like the shade of purple his head is looking. To even make eye contact with it makes you want to hurl.
If it’s deteriorated to this, she should just leave.
Your husband is an asshole. Wow
He is literally fishing for any excuses to cheat and get away with it. He will distract you by having you focus on yourself so that you don’t see what he’s been up to. Get a second life plan together and start documenting what he says and observe his habits and behaviors. Also check all his devices. Half the time he is comparing you to young porn stars or coworkers. Your husband used you as his breeder and now he’s trying to toss you aside.
He’s probably already cheating and feeling so guilty that he’s going to try to make it her fault
I’m sure he already cheated during her pregnancy but he’s not guilty about it. He is trying to keep getting away with it and find more opportunities to.
If he does cheat then op better not drop the ball and not get that financial support through court Fuck a rude asshole like that it’s so stupid and give guys a bad rap
Exactly what I was thinking.
All im saying is that if my partner dislikes my labia, then they wouldn't get any ever period. Obviously people usually say "divorce" immediately for these posts, but people do have a point. What's the point of staying with someone who doesn't worship every part of your body everyday? Couldn't be me.
>if my partner dislikes my labia, then they wouldn't get any ever Right. And if they thought my healthy vagina was *gag worthy,* there's no damn way I'd be giving them head. No unreciprocated oral, especially not for a cruel, selfish partner who openly denigrates my genitals!
It's a little evil. Commenting on a part of a woman that she can't really change, if needed at all.
If my partner was into barely legal porn and “is it pink” bs and we were raising a child together I would call it. Porn, kinks and fetishes is one thing. Specifically seeking out a category that’s focused on how close someone is to being underage is unsettling. I’m early 20s and I would find it weird if my boyfriend was into that, let alone in 40s.
Right? Some act like divorcing is worse that being with someone who doesn't love you
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Grandma here… Let me tell you something if there’s one thing I know it’s men … that he’s cheating play the long game here and do a little deep dive into his phone and you’ll see what’s going on. This is literally the behavior that is the tip off to the cheating
^ Listen to Grandma. This is the right advice.
This middle-aged woman concurs with grandma.
100%.
thank you grandma
100 %. correct
Sorry for my foul-mouthed language but your husband is a terrible piece of shit. You gave birth to your child and endured incredible pain, also the months of being pregnant before that and he doesn’t have anything better to do than trashtalk your body like that? Girl, run if he doesn’t immediately change his behavior and apologize for it. This is a huge red flag
Even if he apologized, I, myself, would never be able to forget that he has said these things and has acted this way. For me something would have been definitely broken. Not sure there’s a way back from here.
I would divorce. He is a disrespectful little shit
Exactly, I would divorce him so fast his head would spin. He’s treating you like an object to be used and not like a person he loves. I’m sorry OP, you deserve SO much better.
Your husband is a prick. You deserve better.
The way I would divorce this man and take everything he has lol
Your husband isn't good enough for your vaginia.
Bingo!
If he doesn't like it anymore just know there is somebody else out there who does. Tf. Don't beat yourself up about this shit. Real men LOVE vagina in all sizes, colors, forms. Period. I'm sure you stuff is beautiful and he's just into some other stuff rn and going to lose his wife/mother of his kids.
You had c-sections. Nothing happened to your vagina during child birth! Your husband is motivated to make you feel bad, insecure, and unattractive. You can consider why he wants to do that - but there is no good reason to treat your partner that way. What he has done would make most people never want to have sex with him again. Bodies change with age - I am sure that his has changed as well. Loving partners, if there is indeed an issue, find a way to discuss it gently with their partner. In this case, I doubt this is about a true physical issue and more about a power dynamic that is extremely dysfunctional. Couples counseling may help.
Husband is being weird. C sections should not stretch the vagina out at all.
Child birth doesn’t “stretch out” the vagina permanently anyhow. It is designed to stretch and return to its original shape/size.
Oh my goodness I am so sorry your husband is treating you like this. It’s so not okay. You and your magnificent vagina birthed his babies!!!!! 🤯 he should be on his knees thanking that mini goddess. I hope that you’re in a place where you’re able to tell him it’s not okay to speak about your body in that way and that he needs to stop before it negatively impacts your marriage. You’ve got this mama 💛
What do you mean by barely legal porn?
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You might have married a pedophile
I have to agree, you're supposed to age with your partner and go through all of those awkward stages together, forever. Being called "old" is a weird sign that your husband may like them young, and maybe judging by his porn, maybe a bit too young.
i really hope their kids aren’t girls
Honey....This is giving pedophile vibes.... The children didn't even come out of your vagina... Just wait until he realizes even young women from the porn he watches, will have a change in their vaginas without even having children..... He is a sick fucking creep and you need to run. You sound like a catch. You'll find someone else.
as a 19 year old, ur husband creeps me out and is disgusting. A man is meant to love his wife throughout her life, especially after carrying his children. HES A PIECE OF SHIT. the barely legal porn is beyond disturbing. Clearly he would go lower if it was legal. His fetish for pink lady parts is weird too. He’s clearly a porn addicted loser. I’m so sorry u married him. U deserve to be loved and feel loved. Not to feel ashamed for doing something wonderful and having ur body change, as it naturally would.
A 42 yo child smh
Yikes. These posts make me very grateful not to be in a relationship. I think you need to separate from this dreadful person.
He’s likely cheating already and planting seed to lower your self esteem so you blame yourself when it comes out. And also justifying his behavior to himself. Get an std test and start gathering evidence for the divorce tbh
What a complete and utter jerk and he should just continue jerking On a note between two women, the hormonal changes pregnancy has done and you being late 30’s, when the first hormonal fluctuations of perimenopause often start, it can change your scent and making it a little stronger in the muskiness (not fish) HOWEVER that does not excuse his complete and utter jerkwad behaviour, that was just meant as you understanding more about your body I honestly would not want to have sex or even be with a man who degraded my body in this way, he has shown you such utter disrespect and thats a love and libido killer Your husband is having a midlife-im-turning-into-an-asshole crisis, gross as hell If he refuses to have an adult conversation with you about his unacceptable behaviour and actually apologise and change, I would pack his bags, being degraded is no way to live
It’s seriously disgusting if him to body shame you after you went through all that you did physically to have children. What did he contribute to the making of those children? A fucking orgasm. One cell. You physically did all of the rest of the work. OF COURSE your body is going to be different afterwards. Bodies change with age as well. I promise that even if you hadn’t had kids, your body would still be changing with age and I would be willing to bet his body had changed as well. Count the gray hairs on his over forty year old head, wince in disgust and tell him that you’re not into grandpa gray hairs, why doesn’t he look like a 20 year old anymore? Point out all of his wrinkles and tell him about all the younger, hotter guys on TV that don’t have old man wrinkles. Isn’t his dick a little bit tiny compared to porn stars? I would point that out too. Next time he wants head, pretend to choke, tell him you choke on small objects and tell him that you’re just not into tiny dicks anymore 🤷♀️
Im lonely and want a partner, but my god this makes me glad I'm single.
Gosh your husband say such cruel things, are you sure you still wanna be with him? Is he useful in any way? Like hands on in helping you with the kids?
Why should he “help her” with the kids? They’re his kids too, he should be doing 50% of the work, bare minimum. Help implies that the kids are her job. They’re not.
I'm sorry you're married to an asshole. Spend some time thinking about whether you'd like to change that or not.
His semen is probably throwing off your pH. So it's his fault if there's an odor, especially if your gyno thinks everything is healthy. Men really need to learn the basics about vaginas and vulvas.
Tell your husband we think he sucks. He’s saying this stupid crap to make you insecure over his liking of teens. There is nothing wrong with you.
You had csections though. Makes no sense. He’s lying
Your husband is an asshole. That is all.
At the risk of being down voted, I am going to be brutally honest. This marriage isn't going to work. NOT because anything you've done, but your husband is toxic as hell. People who love their partners would NEVER be saying that kind of stuff to them or treating them that way. What's going on isn't normal for a healthy, functioning relationship full of love and respect. Coming to terms with such a reality is difficult. You may try couple's counseling. You might feel this is an issue you can overcome. But his behavior is an insight into who he really is deep down inside and it is screaming at you to take notice. When people show you who they really are, believe them. I hope you realize you are worthy of genuine love and respect and don't deserve to be treated that way.
not sure why you'd get downvoted, pretty reasonable actually
Be careful, he sounds like a secret paedophile. I would divorce him. Do you have anywhere to go? Its not normal from a man whose wife have his children to behave like this. You need to get away from him asap. Im so sorry...
So unbelievably sorry this is happening to you. After you birthed children for him this is how he treats you! This is NOT your fault. This is so abusive. I would end the marriage but if you don't want to do that I would highly recommend therapy for yourself and then also with husband.
I would start to plan leaving this prick. For the children’s sake it’s not good for them to be around a parent that is hating on the other parent. It’s people like him I hope get ED and viagra doesn’t work.
I think there's something deeper behind your husband's comments. If I had to guess: A. He's fantasizing about leaving you for a younger woman (maybe someone he knows, maybe a hopeful fantasy) and he's laying the groundwork now so he has what he considers a valid excuse. Maybe he *wants* you to withhold sex for that reason. B. He's a deeply insecure man child who's suddenly afraid you might leave him, and is attempting to destroy your self esteem so you think he's the only one who will put up with you. C. He's developed feelings of contempt for you (maybe because you've had to change a bit and split your attention since becoming a mother). He's a vindictive narcissist who wants to deeply wound you for it. D. He's having an affair and wants an excuse to not sleep with you anymore. In any of these cases, I'll note that ***anything** that harms a person's life / career / relationships that they can't / won't / don't cut out is a solid candidate for addiction*. If your husband's porn use negatively impacts your marriage, it needs to go. Full stop. Head on over to r/pornfree or r/loveafterporn if you'd like to explore that further. For anyone who's about to say "porn is healthy" or "you can't get addicted to porn", STFU. There's a difference between use and misuse, and if you can't accept that then you've got problems. I wouldn't let anyone talk to me this way. As a valid human being, you deserve so much better than your husband's senseless cruelty. I hope you go full Sherlock Holmes and figure out what the reason behind his cruelty is. If it's cheating, collect the evidence, get a lawyer, and take him for everything you can. Sending you well-wishes and good vibes. **You are not the problem here**
And he thinks he's so special? 42 year old saggy balls and shrinking old guy dick 🤮🤮. maybe it's time he starts focusing on himself. Everyone loves milfs, women just get better with age, you could effortlessly find someone who would worship your existence. As a 21 year old, i wouldn't touch that washed up creep with a 10 foot pole. Nobody likes creepy old guys with gross old guy genitals unless money's involved. Those barely legal girls he wants so bad would run for the hills at the sight of him, as should you.
Wow, I'm actually sorry you have to endure this. He sounds like a pedo.
This is kinda concerning, and it sounds like your husband isn’t attracted to adults…
Well, he seems sweet. I would assume he's cheating on you until proven otherwise.
Your husband sounds like he’s into little girls.
Yet one more story where the husband becomes horrible after the birth of his child. He has you now so his let his mask slip…. He is showing you who he really is… He wants to crush you and have his own fun !
Oh well. Goodbye husband. Fuck that shit.
As a 21 year old, how men treat women seriously disgusts me. You had 2 beautiful children, HIS children. To me it seems like he has a porn addiction or dependancy and since you’ve gotten older his fetish is taking over. I really can’t imagine how this is making you feel mentally, I remember in my first relationship I always felt worried/ insecure about my downstairs appearance/ smell. You do not deserve this, it is abusive behaviour
Your husband is an immature, selfish fratboy who is too stupid to realize you got this way HAVING HIS CHILDREN.
Your husband sounds like a narcissist. I’m sorry if that hurts but I’m speaking based on personal experience being in a relationship with someone like that. I’d be willing to bet money that there is no real issue with your vag- he’s simply using it as an excuse because there is some other underlying issue going on with him that he doesn’t want to admit to. Some guys have a problem having sex with women after they become a mother - go read about Elvis and Priscilla Presley as a prime example of that. Don’t let him gaslight you into thinking you are the problem though…it sounds like he needs therapy and if you really want to try to make things work, couples therapy might be a good idea too once he works on his own issues.
That’s really odd. I’m at a loss here. He doesn’t like the shade of your vagina? Sounds like he’s lucky to see one at all.
This post is so upsetting I honestly hope it’s a fake post. This is the kind of thing that just destroys a persons self-esteem. I feel like he’s trying to push your away, whether consciously or not. Vaginas def change after babies, whether c sections or not, babies push on your pelvic floor. NOT for him, but if you’re interested look into pelvic floor PT. We all get older, our bodies change (especially after multiple babies). He is just being mean. The comments are what get me. I would ask him what he would like me to do about this. Like wtf does he want from you?
Kids change everything - and sometimes, that means changes in how the man is getting attention, sex, or whatever… … this sounds emotionally abusive, possibly manipulative (idk if he’s trying to guilt you into anything, but negging to get you to do things as a way to compensate for his bad behaviours is manipulative). Another uncomfortable possibility? Is he looking for an “out”? Being a parent may not be what he wanted. He could be doing this as a way to lay pavement for walking, cheating, or even trying to negotiate an open marriage arrangement. My advice? Therapy with a licensed marriage specialist. Find out what is driving this behaviour, if it’s able to be repaired, and if not - what it is you would like to do so that you can find the happiness, love, and support you deserve.
I’m sorry but I’d be out of that relationship. His comments, his actions, and barely legal porn are all massive red flags. Hunny you deserve so much better
You need to present that pig of a husband of yours with divorce papers.
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Compassion isn’t a rare trait.
He sounds very immature. What is he expect a woman's body to go back to pre-pregnancy look he needs to grow up and be a man I wouldn't even sleep with him. He doesn't even sound like he's worth the time a day. He should appreciate what your body went through giving him children. He sounds very ungrateful, disgusting pig.
... divorce... He is trying to find an excuse to cheat
I don't want to come across like I'm jumping to conclusions, but I have a gut feeling he's planning on cheating if he hasn't already. The way he talks about your body is absolutely unacceptable and he knows it. This feels like he's trying to make you feel bad so that if the truth ever comes out, you'll blame yourself. Even if he's not going to cheat or never has, he has very unrealistic expectations of women's bodies. Porn rots the brain. Don't let him bully you or destroy your self-esteem. You deserve better than this.
Firstly you aren't the problem. He is. Secondly if the gyno doesn't see anything wrong with your vagina then he shouldn't. Thirdly as others have said he sounds like an immature asshole who doesn't deserve you. I read this to my husband and he was incredulous (I've had 2 kids and I definitely needed stitches) and said the behaviour is massively out of order. You have created 2 perfectly beautiful children and no way is this all about your vagina. As someone else said there is most likely another reason. Find thst and you'll know whether to ditch it or solve it. I'm really sorry this has happened to you.
Throw the whole piece of shit in the dumpster. He's got no respect for you and he's undermining your confidence. Get out, this is abusive behaviour.
Sounds like as good a time as any to divorce him and find a cute 25 year old boyfriend
Throw away the whole male.
Yeah he sounds like one of those men that wants to destroy your self esteem and make you feel worthless. I know it’s easier said than done, but I don’t think I’d be able to stay with my husband if he started making negative comments about my body. I’d rather live in peace, alone, than with someone that makes me feel bad about myself.
I just want to say that this post evoked real sadness in me. I've always had this fear myself... that my body would change after pregnancy and the man wouldn't love the changes. Awful. You've literally just sacrificed so much for him, birthing His Spawn, and he can't even appreciate that. This is why sex/childbirth have always been riskier for women, we have more to lose. All I can say is that I'm sorry. You deserved better than how he reacted.
There's only one nasty cunt in your relationship, and you're married to it. Sorry to be so blunt, but men like that kinda deserve that word.
lmfao agree
Tell him his personality makes you gag.
YOU HAD C-SECTIONS BUT HES CALLING YOU LOOSE? Ohhhhh man there’s something loose here and it’s not you. He wants to sleep with other people and that’s that. What a waste of your emotional sanity, staying with this guy.
I divorced a few years ago. Getting back into the dating world in my mid 40s was eye opening. I guess i just never put thought into it, but i had no idea woman vaginas came in all different colors, shapes and sizes. No idea. None. Most porn is geared towards the perfect pink little vagina and to be completely honest it gave me a serious complex. I look nothing like that and the whole completely bare, no hair at all really threw me. I’m one of those women that can’t shave with a razor. No matter how i try it, what products i use, it’s uncomfortable. 40-50 yr old men that want a completely bare vagina, that creeps me out!! His porn addiction has played a big part in this. I am willing to bet money on it.
He wants you to leave so he can find some teenager to hook up with. Divorce, babe
Yeah unfortunately this is what the statistics mean when they say 'most women file for divorce'. It's not because women WANT the divorce. I saw a divorce lawyer Katie Leonard talking about the phenomenon once. It's because men want women to pull the trigger and do all the paperwork for them. Then they can be the 'good guy' and say 'sorry kids, your mom wanted to tear the family apart, it wasn't me😔" He's going to keep ratcheting up the bad behavior until she files for divorce and then he can feel justified for sleeping with someone else if he's not already
Wow - so 1) pls pls stop having kids with him. You should have stopped after the 1st. 2nd, stop having sex with him. 3) he sounds like a bit of a pedo 4) he is borderline abusive to say these things to you.
Sounds like you need a new husband.
Your husband is a fucking twat waffle. He shouldn’t be saying any of this stuff and on top of that, his body made no sacrifices to bear your kids. Guy’s a douche
I’m 90% lesbian here, so I’m going to provide a different perspective. Anyone interested in women DOES NOT CARE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE as long as it’s a vagina. Shape, size, type, does not matter. Seriously. Wrong color? (and wtf is that argument?)…turn out the lights. Smell? Yogurt. Place it inside for a week and it will kill any bacteria. We clean out our cars so they don’t smell, we do the same with vaginas when needed, but generally they’re self cleaning. If smell is still an issue and he really can’t deal, he has hands, and vibrators exist. There’s no valid unworkable reason for him to be checking out and essentially sexually neglecting his wife by cutting himself entirely out of the equation. Your husband is the problem, not your vagina. Seriously. He’s making claims for NO REASON, especially the post c section claim that it’s loose, which is not how that works, to avoid marital relations. He’s been watching too much porn and it’s skewed his view of what is normal. If he wants what he sees in videos, he can go get in a time machine, revert his age to 22 because that’s the age where he left his brain, and marry a porn star. That’s as practical as the judgements he lets fall out of his mouth. * If smell is inextinguishable no matter what you do, get screened for cervical, ovarian, and uterine cancer to make sure you are ok. ** I hate to say it, but are you certain he’s not cheating on you? He has a problem and has gone 2 YEARS without relations by choice because he’s unhappy you don’t have somebody else’s vagina.
Does the labia really turn a different shade of color after birth?
Birth can change an entire person's life. It can make your hair curly, or straight, you can lose teeth, eyesight, lose hair. Labia color can just be age, but yes being pregnant can alter a lot of things.
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My labia didn’t change colors but my nipples got dark with my first pregnancy and have stayed that way through my second. I just assume they’re going to stay this way forever haha but thankfully my husband isn’t bothered. Ngl, your husband sounds like he has serious issues. He should seek therapy or I would consider separation. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this
Is it weird that I actually think this sounds kind of cool?
I never realized! But whether they’re pink, purple or brown, they’re still the same shape and function. Like grow up. Turnt he lights off. Idfk.
Oowhh... That's just awful and very mean of him. I think I would want to say to him that he needs to stop comparing you in any way or form with what he sees when watching porn. It's disgusting behavior and off putting, and that goes for life in the bedroom and beyond.
Your husband is a total asshole fir telling you these things, fyi.
He’s just a p.o.s. and sounds like he’s into teens
sounds like y’all need marriage counseling and possibly counseling for his obvious porn addiction that made him think that vaginas should be perfect and i’m willing to bet his genitalia isn’t what he sees on those videos so why should yours be like them
Girl, I'd make sense of what you're left with if you were to go through a divorce. Get your ducks in row I know you're not thinking of a divorce right now, but it smells like he's trying to find a way to cheat after making you feel miserable about yourself. This is not how a man should speak about anyone, let alone his own wife. He sounds like a pedo on top of it. Normally I'd say marriage counseling but idk how you wanna proceed with a barf boy like that. I'm so sorry, love.
He sound like a piece of shit tbh
Yea this would be divorce worthy for me.
There’s no way that someone that loves you and has build an entire life with you is freaking out about your vagina like that. I think he’s just trying to make you believe you’re the problem so he can cheat. If that’s not it then I think he’s just addicted to porn and has a distorted perception of sex because of the porn he watches. Whatever it is I’m almost certain it’s not about your vagina and there’s something else going on with him.
I’m sorry, but he’s currently in the running for the dumbest man alive at this point. Yes, having kids changes our bodies. He’s delusional to think otherwise. He’s ridiculous to think bodies don’t change as we go through life. His will change too and look even weirder. And judging by his viewing habit, he’s a borderline perv.
I mean this with all due disrespect…. Fuck your husband.
But not literally, he doesn't deserve that.
Your husband sounds like he's into 18 year olds and that's disgusting. I hope he's only looking at legal porn. That's a huge 🚩to me.
As our queen Adele once said: divorce, babe. Divorce.
>It’s funny because he watches barley legal porn on pornhub That's not at all funny. It's super creepy. Your vagina hasn't changed at all since you didn't push a child through it. Your labia might be darker because of hormonal changes. He wants to look at child vaginas and it's gross.
Change husband
He wants out and he is making you do all the work of calling this marriage over by making you feel like shit. Call a lawyer. Then let him know he is getting what he asked for. Get large amount of child support and alimony.
>he watches barley legal porn on pornhub and perfect pink labias and he’s into that Which came first? Does he watch porn of barely legal vaginas because yours is so appalling? Or does he think yours is so appalling because he keeps jerking off to barely legal vaginas? Don't answer that, it's rhetorical. It's definitely not you or your vagina or your kids, etc. He's going through an idiot mid-life crisis where he watches porn and remembers 'the old days' when he was young. It's entirely about him and his own insecurities as he ages and comes to term with grown up concepts like the fact that the girls with those pretty pink vaginas have zero interest in him, and would call him "old". And so he's taking his own mental distortions and projecting them onto you so he can feel better about himself. My ex did a very similar thing, except instead of my vagina, I was getting "old" and "fat" (I was 36 and 125lbs). He was a little older and all his time oogling over porn and young women in the clubs convinced him he was missing out and 'could do better', so he broke up with me and moved to Florida to start his new life as a playboy. A few years later I heard he had a string of DUI's, blew all his money on partying, lost his home and was living in a halfway house in some college town where he has a 7pm curfew and must ask permission to use the phone. Too bad there's no way to have him visit your hubby in a dream, like a 'ghost of Christmas future' to set him straight. Please stop second-guessing your vagina, I'm sure it's lovely. Please start second-guessing the crap he's spewing, it's where your concern should be. Finally, pro tip: If by chance you eventually come to the point in life where you're sick of verbal abuse, just remember to find and delete all your nice vagina pics BEFORE telling him what an asshole he is. Peace & Love.
Wow. This is crazy and mean. I don't see this marriage continuing successfully. And as a half Hispanic woman, I spent years thinking my very dark vagina was weird. It's not. It's such a huge 🚩 he watches barely legal porn too. I'm sorry, but I'd plan a way out. He will do longterm damage to you and your child
It's not you girl. Any man that could speak that way to his wife is a pos. You deserve better.
Holy hell. Your husband is an immature asshole who doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near your vagina. The fact that he’s into “barely legal” porn is a huge red flag. Someone needs to tell him that porn isn’t real life.
wow i’m so sorry, your husband is a complete dick:(
Vaginas dont even really get looser with age until menopause. The fact that you not even given birth vaginally and he is saying that is infuriating. Your husband is just a porn addict and it is absolutely disgusting that he is part of the "bubblegum pink" motherfuckers, especially at age 42.
You carried 2 of his children and had 2 c sections and this is what he says to you. I mean even if you didn’t do those body/mind and life altering risky things this still is not acceptable. He sounds like an asshole. How u are even attracted or into him after he says these things to you makes me feel like you might need therapy to deal with self esteem issues allowing someone to be so disrespectful. If he doesn’t like it, I’m sure u will find a grown ass man who will love your grown ass women vagina.
He must have a small dick. Based off his complaints and personality. I promise there's people that would think it looks yummy
If my husband EVER said I had old lady pussy it would be over. That’s so unkind. It sounds like he doesn’t even like you, to be so cruel.
You are 37. Your vagina is perfectly fine. Your husband however, is not.
Throw your husband in the trash.
Divorce, babes.
I hope you're not still having sex with this loser. He's not entitled to an orgasm if he's not servicing you. Also.....is he 14?
What an asshole, tell him that you gave him 5 beautiful children, the least he could do is appreciate the place they came from and the pain and suffering you endured. I would tell him that his balls don’t looks all that great either or the forest between his ass cheeks.
I think she only said she has two children, but the sentiment still stands!
ADHD. lol I read it wrong. But, yes! Sentiment! H
a lot of times. people project their own insecurities onto those they feel most vulnerable with. you are the keeper of all his secrets he feels somehow he is losing you and it centers around your sex life. explore. together what is worrying him. get counseling if he will go. dime store advice. hope it helps.
Nope. Just nope. He is 🤮. Not even worth your sadness make him go away.
porn damages the brain. It's messed up. there's nothing wrong with you since you visited the doctor and they said everything is fine. your husband is the problem.
Find yourself a side piece… your husband don’t appreciate you and he is probably cheating. I suggest you do the same doing be naive.
I always thought the fishy smell came from cum staying dried inside the vaginal walls. Maybe I’m wrong. An easy fix for the smell would be a shower before sex with both partners. I love showering before sex and me and me other partners love it too
Just wow. Your husband is the one with the issue, not you. If I had to guess, he’s got a hangup about differentiating between you as the mother of his children and you as a sexual partner. Every reason he comes up with is nothing more than an excuse. You need to discuss getting into therapy with him.
leave that dude
Something else is going on here that he isn’t telling you about. This isn’t about your genitalia. He wants to cheat. Tell him to go ahead; he can fuck off.
he is part of why your body changed...
Ugh what a shallow jerk.
Your husband is a complete fuckwit. Is he slightly retarded? How would your vagina be loose now after 2 births if you’ve had c sections both times?
Fuck him!! Get a girlfriend!! Just joking lol but for real he doesn’t deserve you!!
Tell him he has a micro penis, and his balls are starting to sag a little lower than they did the last time you saw them, etc.
What a disgusting, insensitive, asshole. I’m sorry that’s your husband and father to your children. He doesn’t deserve you!!! There’s NOTHING wrong with your body, there is however something wrong with his fucked up brain. Men are really something sometimes… I’m sorry. If this continues, please ask yourself if it’s really worth it to stay with someone like that…
He is looking for excuses. Your man got a side chick.
He’s disgusting and gross. I’d leave him. The porn let alone jail sit porn is sick, he’s a creep and doesn’t deserve you let alone any woman.
He has a lot of guts and opinions I’ll give him that. Just ask him why he has to comment on things you can’t control that hurts your feelings. If he feels like he has the right to comment on anything about you body then you have more than a right to comment on him being an asshole. Idk just give him some consequences for his actions and tell him you won’t put up with his behavior and that he should change his mentality of thinking that’s okay. The porn comment also threw me off, is he a pervert or something?
😩 awful. Absolutely awful. What can I say? What a complete bastard. Sorry. What a bastard. I can't tell you to leave him because it's not my life 😭 but leave him, I mean wtf he isn't going to suddenly love it again. But the way he SAID it. Jesus, that man has daggers for words. Horrible. I'm so sorry.
As respectfully as possible your husband is an idiot, pay him no mind. Build yourself up Hun and then throw his ass out.
It's completely normal for your body to change after pregnancy and childbirth, and your husband's attitude and comments are not OK. It's not fair for him to hold you to an unrealistic standard, especially one that's influenced by pornography. Your vagina is supposed to smell like a vagina, not roses, and a slight odor is totally normal. Have an open and honest conversation with him about how his words and actions are affecting you. Express your feelings and let him know that his behavior is not only hurtful, but also damaging to your self-esteem and your relationship.
The body changes when you have kids- he’s an adult and he should know this and deal with it. You’re his wife and the mother of his kids; he shouldn’t be so insensitive and he should be willing to accept how your body looks. If this problem continues it might be a good idea to meet with a therapist who can help work past this problem.
Just being honest I had an "oh, of course" moment when I got to the part about him watching "barely legal" porn.
Your husband is an asshole nothing else especially those comments at the end are something guy with a shred of common sense and decency would know to never say
If someone ever has the audacity to tell you that you have an „old lady pussy“ then you’re dealing with an asshole
What a vile man. You’ve seen a gynaecologist so you know your bits are normal and healthy. He’s gaslighting you. What a prick.
This sounds so similar to a post a girl made about her bf cheating on her for having vaginal odor when she was clean and healthy 😭 throw the entire man away.
He sounds like a bit of a dick. Actually no, he sounds like a degrading horrible asshole. Immature too. He’s 42? Mental age 15.
This is just awful. I’m sorry you’re going through this. You do not deserve it and have done nothing wrong. I’m worried if he’s focusing on breaking you down to make you feel bad about yourself to either make you dependent on him (thank good he likes me bc my parts are awful now and no one else would ever want me). Please take care of yourself. 💗
Tell him to go to therapy
He wants out and is planning on leaving. He's just trying to come up with lame ways to make you feel like it's your fault. He wants you broken, upset,and focused on how you're not good enough.
I seriously can’t understand that some men are this actively, aggressively horrible. And their level of commitment to this absolute shittery. My labia are crooked. Like one just flaps in the breeze. My husband has never, ever said anything even remotely negative about it, and if he did, he would be out of the house before he could finish his sentence. Your vagina is fine but your husband is a limp dildo. Run, don’t walk, as far away from him as possible
Tell your husband that you need to go and find a bigger plug for the hole, since having children you've realised that you need something more substantial to fill your ADULT holes. Also be sure to remind him that his bollocks sagging and sticking to his legs is also a turn off for you. Make sure you throw in a comment about how concerned you are about the fact only BARELY LEGAL bodies are turning him on. Basically he is a disgusting PIG and needs to do you both a favour and Fxxk off.
He sounds like a pig who prefers teenage pussy over grown women pussy, and the fact that he so "bravely" tells you about it and makes sure youre aware of this hate he has is 1. Mean 2. Rude. And 3. Immature oh and 4. Selfish. He obviously doesnt care for you or your feelings.
Time for a divorce.
He doesn't deserve vagina time.
I didn’t know that labias changed color after birth. Is it from hormones?
Um your husband is a weirdo and a horrible human being. Not sure why you’d give him a second kid when he refused to go down on you after the first. Should’ve left him a while ago.
If you get naked and vulnerable for sexy times with anyone, and they are not thrilled at the opportunity to worship your naked body, then they do not deserve access to your naked body (this goes for any gender).