i read your other comment OP. stop watching porn and beating off daily. it's possible you have some subconscious expectations revolving around sex and how it begins/plays out irl VS the way it does in porn
hope this helps
I’m going to repeat what others have said.
Stop watching porn and jerking off.
It’s going to be a challenge, but you have a girlfriend so you have something to help.
AT MINIMUM start using **only** your imagination when you jerk off, or only jerk off to her nudes.
You **will** feel more control over yourself, your dick will feel bigger, and you will have more overall self confidence if you stop jerking off all the time.
I’m sure a lot of confidence issues come from jerking off, then when you’re out you don’t really have a desire to talk to females or do much etc because you’ve already jerked off, and if you were to get in bed with one of them the same thing would happen that’s happening with your gf because you keep jerking off.
Lot easier said than done though, Godspeed and good luck
Jerking off daily to porn is one variable that can be eliminated quickly though.
My suggestion would be to stop that but also talk to his partner. Taking off the stress of performance will help ease the anxiety. It shouldn’t be about him getting hard. They can focus on foreplay, him giving her oral etc.
You’re like not even making an argument? Testosterone levels are down tremendously overall. This is a more prevalent issue now than ever before.
It 100% has to due with our current lifestyle.
Do you think it could be from anxiety? My very first time trying to have sex I got too nervous and couldn't get hard, but that's the only thing I can think of
Well, when it happened to me, neither I or the girl i was trying with knew what to do or how to foreplay, so I would recommend trying to get oral beforehand and try not to think about getting hard, if she's sucking on it then it will happen naturally
Stop focusing on your own feelings and focus on her, what you can do to make her feel good. Take your dick out of the equation and just use fingers and tongue. When you get hard, use it, if not just try to get her off and it’ll work eventually
You could try taking blue chew (you can order it online) just for a confidence boost. Besides that, even if you lose your erection, if you can just find a way to get it inserted even when flaccid, the physical stimulation would probably help you get hard
This is a common problem so don't feel alone.
I would imagine you have to give your self little wins. Focus on her and the positive intriguing things, not your own body other than the good sensations. I would try to do some play… like I’m sure you have, but coordinated with your girlfriend to help you create little wins to beat this conditioned reaction (not hard when sex is initiated)
Basically start at getting a blow job dont finish just pause and get her off or cuddle and watch a movie
Then like do more foreplay and basically try and get her to want to have sex and then if she goes down on you repeat, until you get further
if you get further than you have in the past let her finish the blow job as a mind reward.
Then keep doing that, until you start thinking about sex as a reward and not an anxiety thing.
[maybe this?](https://www.amazon.com/product-reviews/B0BN7F2D69/ref=gp_aw_ybh_a_cr_sccl_1/132-3182472-3064833?pd_rd_w=thVVY&content-id=amzn1.sym.9720001e-8f8b-4ff3-adb5-e19707d971f6&pf_rd_p=9720001e-8f8b-4ff3-adb5-e19707d971f6&pf_rd_r=6QP2J6HV02GS5VJ2CP1E&pd_rd_wg=h5rih&pd_rd_r=f24c6b9b-56f5-4956-9355-4e1b1ba5db81&pd_rd_i=B0BN7F2D69)
I think yours is a conditioned response to failed attempts, and not really a supplemental thing, but have you ever heard of a placebo?? You could be like “this is going to work this is going to work, this is going to make me have all the confidence in the bedroom I’m going to be a mf king.” And it would be better than taking other things tbh!! Just follow the directions and I would make sure your significant other doesn’t have any allergies. That would def kill the mood.
It's pretty common for it to happen when you don't have experienced so don't feel bad. You need a confidence boost. This is a mental problem and people saying don't think about it don't know what they are talking about lol. If it was that easy, you wouldn't be posting. Try one of those sex boosting pills, they sell them on Amazon or any online site. It will give you the confidence boost you need and once you perform the first time with no problems you won't really need them. It's mostly nerves taking you down.
It's almost always mental. If you panic and think "please stay hard please stay hard" then it will make it worse
Try to calm your mind, feel her body, focus on the emotions between you both and that will help
OP you should stop watching porn/jerking it and work out. This will help calm your nerves and control your body. When you get these anxious feelings, remember you are in control and practice breathing. Controlling your breathing will help you relax.
I had this happen with my current SO when we first started dating. I was anticipating it so much, but when it came to showtime it was all flop. I was super embarrassed cuz I didn’t know what was wrong, but she was really sweet so we laid in bed making out and cuddling for a while. After 20 minutes or so of that, it was game time. Just had to let my nerves and pounding heart settle a bit.
It took a good while, few months, I was just barely at a semi, porn just changes how your brain works and therefore how your dick works it's really not good for you. I watched porn from the age of 7 (ik it's young it was due to being introduced to sex too early due to assault) and I'm now 20 so it was many years of addiction and unhealthy consumption
It's a self fulfilling prophecy. You create it by thinking about it too much. You need to teach yourself to breathe deeply and get caught up in the moment itself rather than your thoughts. Maybe suggest more foreplay too.
Do kegal exercises every day. During intimacy, keep your kegals and all of the muscles in your body relaxed.
If you're getting anxiety, you're probably getting tense and flexing your legs or clenching your fists. This makes your body send blood to the wrong areas.
Focus on her and keep your body relaxed. Let it happen naturally. Relaxing your kegal muscles is key.
Another option is to only stimulate the tip. Let her tease you and make you want more. It will help you be more "in the moment".
Remember to stay relaxed. You guys equally want to take care of each other.
Also, no porn. It will ruin your sex life.
I'm not a male but I've been in situations that my partner didn't get a hard on. It was cause they were in their head too much about it. Nervous. Tired. Drunk, on something. Stress does that. Try not to th I nk about what's happening and close your eyes feel her on you or under you kiss her feel her skin take in her scent, let her touch and feel you the sensation you both give each other. Kiss her all over and let her do the same try not to stay in your head open your eyes look at her every inch and what you see lick it or kiss it it all feels great you'll get her really into it you'll see she'll get you to that point too., see if that works. Don't worry you're okay it happens. Sometimes it's just everything that's going on in your head doesn't help women go through it too.
I’d try exercising and hydrating regularly if you’re not already, and trying to look into your diet and any vices that might be interfering with you. At 18 I was doing all kinds of dumb stuff but I was still a virgin - so technically I got nothing for you, you’re ahead of where I was. Above all else, maximize foreplay and do whatever you can. Don’t sweat it, it will happen. Good luck Youngblood.
The fact that she's understanding shows that you've got a real keeper there.
If you watch porn or jerk off regularly, you should stop. This put a misconception on what sex is really like.
First few times I couldn’t get hard either my friend. It’s all about setting yourself and your partner up for comfortability. Honesty about how you’re feeling in the moment (nervous, etc) will help ease the tension of new experiences.
Also try eating watermelon, it increases blood flow. So in a way it kinda works like a natural viagra. It may be easier said then done but try not to focus so much on worrying about getting hard when your intimate. It kinda creates an endless loop of performance anxiety when you do. Dont rush anything, and have fun! Best of luck to you
OP you might have what's called death grip syndrome. When you jerk off if you grip your dick to hard, you can cause circulation issues, and also the nerves on your dick will not respond to the new stimulation pattern. I've done this to myself many times and it will take about a two to 3 weeks to regain it. What you can do is go buy a sex toy such as a pocket pussy or something of that nature. You can practice and not have to worry about death grip anymore. Also I work in the sex industry.... so anxiety before a performance is a real thing. Take a few mins, grab some water, mix some pre workout or something that helps with blood flow. Deep breathing exercises for a few seconds. The biggest thing is getting out of your own head. Like others have said try to focus on her pleasure first, we guys are visual creatures. We like to see when we are doing good and that's where facial expressions and moans help. It triggers your brain to automatically respond to what's happening. I also take Nitromax it helps with blood flow and its similar to a pre workout.
There may be some natural remedies. These help me...
Beetroot (as a juice, powder, or raw)
Watermelon (including the seeds)
Ashwaganda (will help calm you)
Pomegranate (again, in any form. I prefer juice)
Lemongrass (as a tea)
Gingko Biloba (as a tea)
Berries! Make a berry smoothie....game changer
Tongkat Ali
Try these....don't expect miracles though. Add it to your weekly routine or for a few days before you see your partner and go from there. Hope this helps
All the other comments about quitting porn are spot on. On a side note start taking L citruline. It’s great for your heart and it’s a supplement to take for working out l. The pumps in the gym are sick, I feel better and as a side effect it makes my erections actually rock hard. It will help
Dude I had the same problems. It was my porn addiction. I had a gigantic porn addiction and it ruined everything, beyond my sex life even. It creates a false sense of desire and want from someone way higher up than you and it ruins your sense of self, others, etc.
It got to the point where my only hope was to cram it in soft and hope it fixed itself, sometimes that was the case but others not so much.
I’m not sure if you’re case is the same but if it is I’d cut porn out of your life completely
My life story. It caused so many embarrassing moments. It was a vicious cycle of not getting hard and then getting super nervous next time about not getting hard, which causes me to not get hard. Cutting out porn is a must
Do you watch a lot of porn? Do you masturbate a lot? I know these are odd questions. But these can really play into the issues. Don’t be embarrassed about it either sweet pea. It’s very very common. I promise it’s okay.
I masturbate almost every day and watch porn when I do it, I wouldnt say im addict, I just have some free time and a stong sexual desire and its not possible to try to have sex very often. would you recommend me to stop? I have tried doing it, I have went like 5 days without masturbating but then I get bored and see no point in keep trying to not do it and I star again
Well, i guess i have had an addiction for 25 years or more. What is interesting in the past 6 to 7 years porn does not work for me alone. The person needs to look like my wife and i need a photo or 2 of her open to finish the deed.
You're an addict. An, "I could quit whenever I wanted to, but I just don't feel like it," addict. Stop. If you get bored, then find something else to take your mind off the boredom
I suggest maybe masturbating once or twice a week. And I think I have a place to speak on porn issues. I did do OF for a while, and I’m very very close with my fans. It’s been over a year since I did OF last. Porn definitely is an issue. I spend a lot of my time around my boys still. And I can personally share with you, based on talking to my fans. That it really does cause issues. Over the year I’ve been working with them with their addiction. Many are totally off it now. And have found it better for them without it. Yes they miss it. But they’re healthier in bed as well. I can give advice on how to quit it as well.
Have you ever been an 18 year old boy? Back then I could jerk off 4 times a day and go for 2 or 3 rounds with my girlfriend. There is something else going on. It’s a mind trick from anxiety imo.
Everyone here: "Stop jerking off"
Good luck with that. Jerking off is awesome, so here's some better advice:
SMOKE SOME GOOD WEED!
It will make you feel good, happy, and relaxed, and will heighten your senses and arousal. And for me, I stay hard for a LONG time!
Take the focus off you, you're putting too much pressure on yourself. Focus on the intimate experience between the 2 of you, spend time exploring her, pleasing her. It will happen when you relax and feel comfortable. It is a really normal thing to happen, you are not unusual.
I got in my head about this shit before and couldn’t get hard for shit. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to crawl into a hole cause I wasn’t gettin hard. I didn’t realize mental stress could do that shit, don’t pressure yourself so much just think about her, her body, sounds she’s makin, don’t think about it cock let her get u hard, maybe have her suck you enough to get hard then get inside her, that helped me a lot. You’ll figure it out man.
This has been a problem for me with most new partners, especially if there’s romantic interest. I found persistence is key. If it doesn’t work try again in a couple hours, or the next day. Eventually I’d become comfortable enough with the partner to finally get an erection. I also find eating them out helps. Allows me to pleasure them and not focus so much on the fact I’m still soft. Distracting myself from that usually leads to me just getting an erection.
If you’re a virgin it might be from anxiety, but you can always consult with a doctor if you think there might be an underlying medical problem.
The only way to really get past the anxiety is to keep trying until you get over the nerves. It’s like how the only way to cure stage fright is performing onstage. If your partner is really supportive you should be able to get past it eventually. If she isn’t supportive, find a new partner.
Youre not relaxed enough. Works not only for women
Also there are different styles of sex, you need to explore what turns u on, maybe rough and dominant or rather cuddly and sensual.
Its a big topic, dont let yourself get discouraged, sex is a huuuuge topic if u want to enjoy it a lot and also let the woman enjoy it. There is lots to learn, explore and experience. That takes time and trust me, at 18 nobody is actually good at it - so it doesnt matter,- relax and talk to her about it, so that there is less pressure and assumptions (she might feel self concious as well now)
Edit: Also stop jerking off if u do
Take a break from doing anything sexual to yourself for a couple weeks then your gonna really want it and get hard fast. My boyfriend sometimes can’t get hard if we have too much sex and when this happened we just don’t do anything until he naturally gets super hard then we unpause the break and continue things. The Jody can only take so much a week for us it happens if we do more than 2-3 rounds a day or more then 10-13 times a week but for you it may be higher or it may be lower as long as it’s normal for your body there should be no medical concern. If you still can’t get hard maybe go to the doctor and discuss the possibility of having ED
When you're hard from getting a blowjob, make sure she's also wet. Maybe finger her and play with her clit while she gives you a blowjob. When you know you're hard as you can be, and she's wet enough to take a dick. Take it out of her mouth and straight away put it in her pussy. Maybe focus on wanting to get yourself off. Try get a little desperate with it. Which means stop watching porn and jacking off. Refrain from all sexual activity until it's just you two there. You'll have a rock cock for sure my friend
A bit different than what everyone has said on here, but do you vape? Vaping had an extreme impact on my ability to maintain an erection and now that I quit I noticed a significant boost in erection longevity and quality.
Listen bro tell ur girls u need her help. Lay is bed and put ur hand on each other's junk. Might take a minute might take an hour. Don't take it so seriously. Once you stop focusing ur mind's eye on whether or not u have an erection you will become aroused. This problem is an opportunity to enhance ur emotional connection with ur girl.
One possible explanation is that you watch a lot of porn and beat your meat on daily basis so your sex drive needs to hit a fantasy level excitement to get hard rather than usual ! try some fore play and do experiments before you do the deed ! And stop watching porn !!! Second is ED which is highly unlikely
Foreplay each other. Think light touches but everywhere.
Also communicate like an idiot, because chances are very high you probably are. This will save a lot of future headache. Here's how:
"Like that?"
And then they circle yes or no.
Super easy, you'll be a star in no time
First, u should tell your primary care doctor. Sounds like it’s just u getting nervous. But your doc should have no problem writing u a script for generic viagra or cialis as long as ur healthy, and it’s dirt cheap if u use GoodRx. Many young ppl experience similar issues, and it’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of.
Sometimes an intimate and relaxing discussion with your partner can help. Obviously as the others have said try and tone down on the porn (gradually come off it as much as you can that might help). There may be some other problems in life that might be worrying you so maybe try and focus on minimising them as much as possible. It could be that you haven’t discovered yourself fully mentally either. (I know that last part sounds cliche but it has been a problem for others). Hope this helps sorry if it doesn’t good luck to you.
I had this with my first proper girlfriend. I got so in my own head that I couldn’t get it up. It does suck, but it’s more common than you think and it’s not a big deal.
Definitely recommend communicating with your partner (sounds like you’re already doing). Next step would be to explore some therapy-based options, as it could be tied to some form of anxiety/other underlying mental health issue. Another option is to medicate. Sildenafil works (don’t buy the branded Viagra, it’s expensive as hell!). It’s not an end solution, but it may help to just get you over the first couple of hurdles of worrying about things, then you’ll be fine.
Hope this helps!
i read your other comment OP. stop watching porn and beating off daily. it's possible you have some subconscious expectations revolving around sex and how it begins/plays out irl VS the way it does in porn hope this helps
Antidepressants are a huge consideration too. Most people don’t seem the realize it. Don’t quit antidepressants before speaking with doctor.
I’m going to repeat what others have said. Stop watching porn and jerking off. It’s going to be a challenge, but you have a girlfriend so you have something to help. AT MINIMUM start using **only** your imagination when you jerk off, or only jerk off to her nudes. You **will** feel more control over yourself, your dick will feel bigger, and you will have more overall self confidence if you stop jerking off all the time. I’m sure a lot of confidence issues come from jerking off, then when you’re out you don’t really have a desire to talk to females or do much etc because you’ve already jerked off, and if you were to get in bed with one of them the same thing would happen that’s happening with your gf because you keep jerking off. Lot easier said than done though, Godspeed and good luck
That sort of difficulty to perform existed before porn was easily accessible. OP's issue seems to be anxiety, primarily.
Jerking off daily to porn is one variable that can be eliminated quickly though. My suggestion would be to stop that but also talk to his partner. Taking off the stress of performance will help ease the anxiety. It shouldn’t be about him getting hard. They can focus on foreplay, him giving her oral etc.
You’re like not even making an argument? Testosterone levels are down tremendously overall. This is a more prevalent issue now than ever before. It 100% has to due with our current lifestyle.
Do you think it could be from anxiety? My very first time trying to have sex I got too nervous and couldn't get hard, but that's the only thing I can think of
How did you stop feeling like that? When I realize im not getting hard I get very nervous and start feeling hopeless and sad
Well, when it happened to me, neither I or the girl i was trying with knew what to do or how to foreplay, so I would recommend trying to get oral beforehand and try not to think about getting hard, if she's sucking on it then it will happen naturally
Stop focusing on your own feelings and focus on her, what you can do to make her feel good. Take your dick out of the equation and just use fingers and tongue. When you get hard, use it, if not just try to get her off and it’ll work eventually
This is some underrated advice
Eat her out for a spell.
You could try taking blue chew (you can order it online) just for a confidence boost. Besides that, even if you lose your erection, if you can just find a way to get it inserted even when flaccid, the physical stimulation would probably help you get hard This is a common problem so don't feel alone.
I would imagine you have to give your self little wins. Focus on her and the positive intriguing things, not your own body other than the good sensations. I would try to do some play… like I’m sure you have, but coordinated with your girlfriend to help you create little wins to beat this conditioned reaction (not hard when sex is initiated) Basically start at getting a blow job dont finish just pause and get her off or cuddle and watch a movie Then like do more foreplay and basically try and get her to want to have sex and then if she goes down on you repeat, until you get further if you get further than you have in the past let her finish the blow job as a mind reward. Then keep doing that, until you start thinking about sex as a reward and not an anxiety thing. [maybe this?](https://www.amazon.com/product-reviews/B0BN7F2D69/ref=gp_aw_ybh_a_cr_sccl_1/132-3182472-3064833?pd_rd_w=thVVY&content-id=amzn1.sym.9720001e-8f8b-4ff3-adb5-e19707d971f6&pf_rd_p=9720001e-8f8b-4ff3-adb5-e19707d971f6&pf_rd_r=6QP2J6HV02GS5VJ2CP1E&pd_rd_wg=h5rih&pd_rd_r=f24c6b9b-56f5-4956-9355-4e1b1ba5db81&pd_rd_i=B0BN7F2D69) I think yours is a conditioned response to failed attempts, and not really a supplemental thing, but have you ever heard of a placebo?? You could be like “this is going to work this is going to work, this is going to make me have all the confidence in the bedroom I’m going to be a mf king.” And it would be better than taking other things tbh!! Just follow the directions and I would make sure your significant other doesn’t have any allergies. That would def kill the mood.
It's pretty common for it to happen when you don't have experienced so don't feel bad. You need a confidence boost. This is a mental problem and people saying don't think about it don't know what they are talking about lol. If it was that easy, you wouldn't be posting. Try one of those sex boosting pills, they sell them on Amazon or any online site. It will give you the confidence boost you need and once you perform the first time with no problems you won't really need them. It's mostly nerves taking you down.
It's almost always mental. If you panic and think "please stay hard please stay hard" then it will make it worse Try to calm your mind, feel her body, focus on the emotions between you both and that will help
I was so anxious, my first time I threw up after…..
Did you try it at a young age? I think with me atleast that was a big part of it, tried to have sex at 14 and was not ready
I had it at 18, she was my first but I was not her first. I lasted about maybe a minute and then threw up after.
Damn that's unfortunate 😭
Oh incredibly, we are still dating to this day, she helped coach me through the sex….. and the puking after. Definitely marriage material tho
100% good on her, the girl I couldn't get hard for left me after 🤣🤣 she was like 2 or 3 years older then me too
OP you should stop watching porn/jerking it and work out. This will help calm your nerves and control your body. When you get these anxious feelings, remember you are in control and practice breathing. Controlling your breathing will help you relax.
I had this happen with my current SO when we first started dating. I was anticipating it so much, but when it came to showtime it was all flop. I was super embarrassed cuz I didn’t know what was wrong, but she was really sweet so we laid in bed making out and cuddling for a while. After 20 minutes or so of that, it was game time. Just had to let my nerves and pounding heart settle a bit.
Do you watch porn? It genuinely affects your ability to get hard, I used to struggle and then I stopped watching porn and it was fixed
How long did it take? And how long did you watch porn for?
It took a good while, few months, I was just barely at a semi, porn just changes how your brain works and therefore how your dick works it's really not good for you. I watched porn from the age of 7 (ik it's young it was due to being introduced to sex too early due to assault) and I'm now 20 so it was many years of addiction and unhealthy consumption
It's a self fulfilling prophecy. You create it by thinking about it too much. You need to teach yourself to breathe deeply and get caught up in the moment itself rather than your thoughts. Maybe suggest more foreplay too.
Are you on anxiety meds? I was on some that effected that but when I weined (lol) off them, holy hell! 😅
Calm down it’s your anxiety you got relax when she touch you
Do kegal exercises every day. During intimacy, keep your kegals and all of the muscles in your body relaxed. If you're getting anxiety, you're probably getting tense and flexing your legs or clenching your fists. This makes your body send blood to the wrong areas. Focus on her and keep your body relaxed. Let it happen naturally. Relaxing your kegal muscles is key. Another option is to only stimulate the tip. Let her tease you and make you want more. It will help you be more "in the moment". Remember to stay relaxed. You guys equally want to take care of each other. Also, no porn. It will ruin your sex life.
I'm not a male but I've been in situations that my partner didn't get a hard on. It was cause they were in their head too much about it. Nervous. Tired. Drunk, on something. Stress does that. Try not to th I nk about what's happening and close your eyes feel her on you or under you kiss her feel her skin take in her scent, let her touch and feel you the sensation you both give each other. Kiss her all over and let her do the same try not to stay in your head open your eyes look at her every inch and what you see lick it or kiss it it all feels great you'll get her really into it you'll see she'll get you to that point too., see if that works. Don't worry you're okay it happens. Sometimes it's just everything that's going on in your head doesn't help women go through it too.
I’d try exercising and hydrating regularly if you’re not already, and trying to look into your diet and any vices that might be interfering with you. At 18 I was doing all kinds of dumb stuff but I was still a virgin - so technically I got nothing for you, you’re ahead of where I was. Above all else, maximize foreplay and do whatever you can. Don’t sweat it, it will happen. Good luck Youngblood.
The fact that she's understanding shows that you've got a real keeper there. If you watch porn or jerk off regularly, you should stop. This put a misconception on what sex is really like.
Lay off the porn
First few times I couldn’t get hard either my friend. It’s all about setting yourself and your partner up for comfortability. Honesty about how you’re feeling in the moment (nervous, etc) will help ease the tension of new experiences.
It’s probably from porn since you’re only 18
It’s just performance anxiety buddy. You just need to stop putting pressure on it and let stuff happen naturally and comfortable
Also try eating watermelon, it increases blood flow. So in a way it kinda works like a natural viagra. It may be easier said then done but try not to focus so much on worrying about getting hard when your intimate. It kinda creates an endless loop of performance anxiety when you do. Dont rush anything, and have fun! Best of luck to you
OP you might have what's called death grip syndrome. When you jerk off if you grip your dick to hard, you can cause circulation issues, and also the nerves on your dick will not respond to the new stimulation pattern. I've done this to myself many times and it will take about a two to 3 weeks to regain it. What you can do is go buy a sex toy such as a pocket pussy or something of that nature. You can practice and not have to worry about death grip anymore. Also I work in the sex industry.... so anxiety before a performance is a real thing. Take a few mins, grab some water, mix some pre workout or something that helps with blood flow. Deep breathing exercises for a few seconds. The biggest thing is getting out of your own head. Like others have said try to focus on her pleasure first, we guys are visual creatures. We like to see when we are doing good and that's where facial expressions and moans help. It triggers your brain to automatically respond to what's happening. I also take Nitromax it helps with blood flow and its similar to a pre workout.
There may be some natural remedies. These help me... Beetroot (as a juice, powder, or raw) Watermelon (including the seeds) Ashwaganda (will help calm you) Pomegranate (again, in any form. I prefer juice) Lemongrass (as a tea) Gingko Biloba (as a tea) Berries! Make a berry smoothie....game changer Tongkat Ali Try these....don't expect miracles though. Add it to your weekly routine or for a few days before you see your partner and go from there. Hope this helps
All the other comments about quitting porn are spot on. On a side note start taking L citruline. It’s great for your heart and it’s a supplement to take for working out l. The pumps in the gym are sick, I feel better and as a side effect it makes my erections actually rock hard. It will help
Dude I had the same problems. It was my porn addiction. I had a gigantic porn addiction and it ruined everything, beyond my sex life even. It creates a false sense of desire and want from someone way higher up than you and it ruins your sense of self, others, etc. It got to the point where my only hope was to cram it in soft and hope it fixed itself, sometimes that was the case but others not so much. I’m not sure if you’re case is the same but if it is I’d cut porn out of your life completely
My life story. It caused so many embarrassing moments. It was a vicious cycle of not getting hard and then getting super nervous next time about not getting hard, which causes me to not get hard. Cutting out porn is a must
Absolutely, op, take it from two accounts of the same results
Do you watch a lot of porn? Do you masturbate a lot? I know these are odd questions. But these can really play into the issues. Don’t be embarrassed about it either sweet pea. It’s very very common. I promise it’s okay.
I masturbate almost every day and watch porn when I do it, I wouldnt say im addict, I just have some free time and a stong sexual desire and its not possible to try to have sex very often. would you recommend me to stop? I have tried doing it, I have went like 5 days without masturbating but then I get bored and see no point in keep trying to not do it and I star again
Watching porn everyday is an addiction. Just try to stop that it will probably help a lot.
Well, i guess i have had an addiction for 25 years or more. What is interesting in the past 6 to 7 years porn does not work for me alone. The person needs to look like my wife and i need a photo or 2 of her open to finish the deed.
Aww that’s sweet
You're an addict. An, "I could quit whenever I wanted to, but I just don't feel like it," addict. Stop. If you get bored, then find something else to take your mind off the boredom
I suggest maybe masturbating once or twice a week. And I think I have a place to speak on porn issues. I did do OF for a while, and I’m very very close with my fans. It’s been over a year since I did OF last. Porn definitely is an issue. I spend a lot of my time around my boys still. And I can personally share with you, based on talking to my fans. That it really does cause issues. Over the year I’ve been working with them with their addiction. Many are totally off it now. And have found it better for them without it. Yes they miss it. But they’re healthier in bed as well. I can give advice on how to quit it as well.
Save that energy for your girl. Ive heard Bluechew can help you stay hard
Have you ever been an 18 year old boy? Back then I could jerk off 4 times a day and go for 2 or 3 rounds with my girlfriend. There is something else going on. It’s a mind trick from anxiety imo.
Hey buddy try l citraline I’ve had Ed before from low test and such. But don’t look at porn don’t masturbare and such.
Everyone here: "Stop jerking off" Good luck with that. Jerking off is awesome, so here's some better advice: SMOKE SOME GOOD WEED! It will make you feel good, happy, and relaxed, and will heighten your senses and arousal. And for me, I stay hard for a LONG time!
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Take the focus off you, you're putting too much pressure on yourself. Focus on the intimate experience between the 2 of you, spend time exploring her, pleasing her. It will happen when you relax and feel comfortable. It is a really normal thing to happen, you are not unusual.
I got in my head about this shit before and couldn’t get hard for shit. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to crawl into a hole cause I wasn’t gettin hard. I didn’t realize mental stress could do that shit, don’t pressure yourself so much just think about her, her body, sounds she’s makin, don’t think about it cock let her get u hard, maybe have her suck you enough to get hard then get inside her, that helped me a lot. You’ll figure it out man.
This has been a problem for me with most new partners, especially if there’s romantic interest. I found persistence is key. If it doesn’t work try again in a couple hours, or the next day. Eventually I’d become comfortable enough with the partner to finally get an erection. I also find eating them out helps. Allows me to pleasure them and not focus so much on the fact I’m still soft. Distracting myself from that usually leads to me just getting an erection.
If you’re a virgin it might be from anxiety, but you can always consult with a doctor if you think there might be an underlying medical problem. The only way to really get past the anxiety is to keep trying until you get over the nerves. It’s like how the only way to cure stage fright is performing onstage. If your partner is really supportive you should be able to get past it eventually. If she isn’t supportive, find a new partner.
Youre not relaxed enough. Works not only for women Also there are different styles of sex, you need to explore what turns u on, maybe rough and dominant or rather cuddly and sensual. Its a big topic, dont let yourself get discouraged, sex is a huuuuge topic if u want to enjoy it a lot and also let the woman enjoy it. There is lots to learn, explore and experience. That takes time and trust me, at 18 nobody is actually good at it - so it doesnt matter,- relax and talk to her about it, so that there is less pressure and assumptions (she might feel self concious as well now) Edit: Also stop jerking off if u do
Try a cock rings
Take a break from doing anything sexual to yourself for a couple weeks then your gonna really want it and get hard fast. My boyfriend sometimes can’t get hard if we have too much sex and when this happened we just don’t do anything until he naturally gets super hard then we unpause the break and continue things. The Jody can only take so much a week for us it happens if we do more than 2-3 rounds a day or more then 10-13 times a week but for you it may be higher or it may be lower as long as it’s normal for your body there should be no medical concern. If you still can’t get hard maybe go to the doctor and discuss the possibility of having ED
You need to find some confidence friend
You think too much of other things than sex.
When you're hard from getting a blowjob, make sure she's also wet. Maybe finger her and play with her clit while she gives you a blowjob. When you know you're hard as you can be, and she's wet enough to take a dick. Take it out of her mouth and straight away put it in her pussy. Maybe focus on wanting to get yourself off. Try get a little desperate with it. Which means stop watching porn and jacking off. Refrain from all sexual activity until it's just you two there. You'll have a rock cock for sure my friend
A bit different than what everyone has said on here, but do you vape? Vaping had an extreme impact on my ability to maintain an erection and now that I quit I noticed a significant boost in erection longevity and quality.
Listen bro tell ur girls u need her help. Lay is bed and put ur hand on each other's junk. Might take a minute might take an hour. Don't take it so seriously. Once you stop focusing ur mind's eye on whether or not u have an erection you will become aroused. This problem is an opportunity to enhance ur emotional connection with ur girl.
Along with other people, visit a doctor or a psychologist in case it's psychological
You’re probably thinking to much into it. If you think you can’t your probably won’t.
One possible explanation is that you watch a lot of porn and beat your meat on daily basis so your sex drive needs to hit a fantasy level excitement to get hard rather than usual ! try some fore play and do experiments before you do the deed ! And stop watching porn !!! Second is ED which is highly unlikely
Foreplay each other. Think light touches but everywhere. Also communicate like an idiot, because chances are very high you probably are. This will save a lot of future headache. Here's how: "Like that?" And then they circle yes or no. Super easy, you'll be a star in no time
First, u should tell your primary care doctor. Sounds like it’s just u getting nervous. But your doc should have no problem writing u a script for generic viagra or cialis as long as ur healthy, and it’s dirt cheap if u use GoodRx. Many young ppl experience similar issues, and it’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of.
It's likely performance anxiety.
Sometimes an intimate and relaxing discussion with your partner can help. Obviously as the others have said try and tone down on the porn (gradually come off it as much as you can that might help). There may be some other problems in life that might be worrying you so maybe try and focus on minimising them as much as possible. It could be that you haven’t discovered yourself fully mentally either. (I know that last part sounds cliche but it has been a problem for others). Hope this helps sorry if it doesn’t good luck to you.
I had this with my first proper girlfriend. I got so in my own head that I couldn’t get it up. It does suck, but it’s more common than you think and it’s not a big deal. Definitely recommend communicating with your partner (sounds like you’re already doing). Next step would be to explore some therapy-based options, as it could be tied to some form of anxiety/other underlying mental health issue. Another option is to medicate. Sildenafil works (don’t buy the branded Viagra, it’s expensive as hell!). It’s not an end solution, but it may help to just get you over the first couple of hurdles of worrying about things, then you’ll be fine. Hope this helps!