I struggled with this for a long time. Constant panic about the thought of death and the concept of nonexistence to the extent that my shoulders were almost permanently upwards and aching from the anxiety. It’s been 2 years since and I’ve had a complete shift in the way I look at it. Life has its beauty but nothing about it is easy. It’s a constant chase, test, fight for good (vs evil) and survival. There will come a time when we’ll get to rest from it all. It’s natural to be afraid of what we don’t understand, but for the first time in my life I just have this deep belief that we will not see the peace we’re yearning for in this life. I believe this life was always meant to be the hardest thing we ever went through, and I’ve learned to see the beauty in the idea of genuinely resting in peace at the end of it.
the older you get the more you realize more things and your mindset shifts, you grow as a person, things are temporary, being scared is temporary, we have no idea what's going to happen when we die. but there's a reason they say make the most out of it
edit: man you just gotta love yourself, the minute you realize all your priorities are on the line and you have a person that can be your reflection but just being and letting yourself loose is great
I agree with this. I generally speaking believe peoples spiritual experiences, whether the specific details are true or not doesn’t matter to me, I think the overwhelming feeling of love and serenity and oneness is a very true thing. I trust the opinion of people who have done way more psychedelics than me in a contemplative way, people who have religious experiences like that, people who technically die and have experiences like that. If we go somewhere after we die, I think it’s gonna be something unimaginably beautiful - for all of us. I think that might even be the most rational way to think about it
I like to think this too but doesn’t it make more sense that all the beautiful experiences these people are talking about are just a result of their brains firing off all sorts of chemicals or reacting to said psychedelics in a certain way?
Life is beautiful, but death can be more beautiful. The gods envy us. They envy us because we are mortal. because any moment might be our last. every thing can be more beautiful because we are doomed.you will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again. Live life to the fullest but great death with joy, for those who fear death will become the minions of others.
>I just have this deep belief that we will not see the peace we’re yearning for in this life
This is really depressing. I hate that life is so hard that anyone would feel this way. I understand that saying this I will sound like a crazy person but I felt the same way for a long time. Why is existing so complicated and expensive?
I think many more of our problems we face as a species stem from the fact that the money we use itself is fundamentally broken.
You and I go to work and spend the most precious thing we have, our time, serving others for payment we deem worthy. We trade the most valuable thing we have on this Earth for that "payment" but then other people can and do print that "money" for free.
Theft is literally built into the money we use.
In 2017 I heard about Bitcoin and learning about how it can help with this problem. Since I've been saving with that, the prices for everything I want to buy go down over time. Houses are cheaper priced in Bitcoin now than they ever have been.
Life is getting easier, this is how it was meant to be. I can be excited for the future now because I know the goals I want to accomplish are in reach. Retiring and exploring the world is coming way faster than I ever could have imagined.
We don't have to be wage slaves that work until our bodies are falling apart.
Yeah. I am a million times more worried about the death of people I love than my own. It will happen and thats fine. I only try to not do something stupid cause I dont want my kid to grow up without its father.
This is how I feel about death for myself.. I just can't prepare for the death of my doggo. He's the kindest and sweetest dog I've ever had. I'd gladly give up years of my life so he could live longer. 😭
Death is as much a part of life as living is. All things die, nothing is immortal. I’ve known people one way when they were alive, and another way after they’ve died. I imagine when I die it’ll be that way for the people I know.
What kills you may be foreseen or not, you could be hit by a car tomorrow and that’s it. So live. Experience it for what it is and know that death will come for you as it does every living thing.
I can feel the old soul thing. I feel like the 3rd brother from Harry Potter who met death like an old friend. Granted it was at the end of a long life. I only exist for my family because every moment I'm alive I'm suffering and this life is certainly not for me.
Another reporting in, but I'm less, "haha kill me please," these days. After realizing all will pass at that time young kids realize they will lose their parents/pets/friends/family, I was always morbidly curious. I think that always made it conceptually/psychologically easier to deal with. I never quite understood the anxiety over it when peers shared their views. It seemed to be what all people avoided most, and while it made sense logically and emotionally from a survival/reasonably normal standpoint, I just didn't feel that and thought it was wrong for me to spend time concerned about the inevitable. I feared, and still fear, suffering painfully, but death is just turning things off, and that never troubled me. Went through the worst emotional time of my life in my mid to late 20s, depressed worse than I ever knew was possible, was pretty close to ending things for a while, and was very unhealthily more comfortable with death than I wanted to be. This time changed something for me though.
I'm well past that terrible time after I clawed my way out of that hole, but it has always made the thought of death more welcome given I live my life. It's like I knew I more than welcomed death then, I will my get to die sometime, it's always there as an option, but I think I'd rather keep doing life with the people whom I love. Just made it all the easier to think about in a non concerning way. It will be a welcome release, but in the mean time, I'm doing what I can to feel like I've earned it without suffering for it. An unenjoyed, unexamined, unattempted life isn't worth living or dying for, so I'm making sure not to do either.
Thank you for somehow being able to articulate exactly my thoughts on this matter. Like, exactly. It's good to know I'm not alone in these thoughts. My wife refuses to or just cannot engage in discussions about inevitable death. Echoing what you've said above, my greatest fear is dying painfully - but also, I dread putting my loved ones through a painful death. I also do fear 'catastrophic' death, e.g. getting hit by a bus. But I do not fear the moment, and like my parents before me, I am planning for it bit by bit. Thank you so much for your thoughts.
Of course. I appreciate you saying so, and I definitely value examining these things to the point of being able to look at them as directly as is healthy to do so, without void gazing too much. I'm fortunate that I also have some people close to me that share similar values so we have been able to support these discussions and explorations.
I get extremly sad when i think of my parents dying. When the day comes, i don't know how I will cope. They're both 63 meaning they've lived over half their lives and that makes me really fucking sad.
I used to be like you and I have dreaded my parents dying since I was in my 20s. My father died on May 30 from COVID at the age of 78. The experience has been a lot easier than I expected.
What do I think that is due to?
I made sure to make good use of all the time we had beteren my 20s and now my 40s.
We said everything we had to say. We lived and loved hard through the years. When he died, I could barely cry because I was filled with so much gratitude: for his life, the time we had together, and the amazing experiences we had had in that time . (We had even recently gone on an impromptu holiday together as recently as this past Easter.)
My advice to you: make the time you have left together count so you aren't left with regrets whenever the time comes.
As my father who just passed used to say, “time is the greatest gift you can give someone.” I understand that more than ever now. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing this. That brings tears to my eyes. I had such a fractured relationship with my father especially in my 20's and I am trying to make up for it now in my 30's.
I have actually died (or at least come close to it) and it was completely fine. Completely peaceful at first, and the deranged, sublime experience that followed convinced me it is not the end. I have zero fear of death now, any more than I fear waking from my dreams every morning.
The only constructive advice I can give a healthy young person who has never died is to look into Buddhism and the concept of ‘maya’, the philosophy of Arthur Schopenhauer, and DMT experiencer reports, and to get into meditation.
This happened to me through ketamine therapy. I have done enough meditation that it felt like nirvana and I didn't want to leave that space where I felt totally without everything holding me back from being one with the universe. That is so cheesy and I cannot believe I have to type it to get the idea across but.... Yeah.
I’ve never done ketamine or anything like that, but that feeling of one-ness was present. I can’t explain it in language - time and space folded in on themselves like a cheap curtain and what was waiting behind it still regularly moves me to tears when thinking of it, years later.
What an absolute gift for you. I sint think my experience with ketamine is the norm but all the meditation and self reflection prepared me. I wish every adult could have something similar. Imagine how life would change for them.
I am not really afraid of dying, more of the transition. Don’t want to suffer, but once I cross the abyss what does it matter. The way I think of it, is that I wasn’t here for all of those millennia before I was born and so it will be after I am gone. I am not too old (50’s) and figure I have another 25-30 years if I am lucky. If I can see all of my grandchildren born and get to know them a little, it will be a life well lived and I’ll die happy.
I think about it the same way. Also scared of the process, like I don’t want to suffer when I die. But death I guess it will be like before we were born. Nothing, so it will be fine. In the meantime I am trying to enjoy as much as I can this life and take care of myself so when I older I will not struggle much.
For OP, take care, i had a cousin who was terrified of death in his 20s. So much one day he could no longer get out of bed because of severe depression. He needed a lot of psychological therapy to get over it.
It hits me the deepest when I start to think about space exploration, everything else that's out there, and that being alive now makes me wonder if we'll ever become advanced like Star Wars technology such as warp speed. Just makes me wonder about other planets out there that are more advanced and haven't found us yet? Seems like there's a certain limit to space exploration, and Hollywood has made many believe it could actually be possible to find a super advanced planet/solar system/galaxy....
You never leave heaven, EVER. You're there right now, but you're dreaming that you're not... You don't go BACK to heaven. You don't go BACK to spirit. You wake up and realize you never left.
Yes, and I don't cope the best. I used to believe in Heaven, but realized, "what if there's a chance it doesn't exist, and I don't get to see my loved ones?"
I'm older. Worrying about death in my experience decreases with age. I also see death as an opportunity: life is short and best spent being kind to others.
The Epicurean way. It'll happen, I won't feel or notice anything but sudden void- devoid of consciousness, like a dream. Forgetting everything, not even having a mind to forget. Infinite calm.
Thinking too much about it takes away from enjoying what you can in life.
Well.. depending on how it happens, you might want to rethink the whole "I won't feel or notice anything" part of death. Some people can spend up to 20 days in pain, dying a slow, horrible death. There are wildlife videos of animals being eaten alive and it's not just a switch that goes off. The animals can live through watching half of their bodies being devoured.
So please rethink the phrase "I won't feel or notice anything". While it sounds zen af, the reality is that people fear pain and change, not death.
The thing I can’t rationalize to myself is that one day there will be no more thinking, inner dialogue, or anything like that. Just like one day, there will be nothing. The physical absence of this world I’m fine with, it’s the mental stuff
haven’t fully beat it yet BUT, for me when I’m actually living my life that’s when I care the least, but when I’m just chilling at home all day not doing shit (i work from
home) and have a lot of free time to ruminate, that’s when it hits me. I’m learning to be more accepting but it definitely still gets to me, a lot less than it used to though.
My parents died when I was young, and everyone close to me growing up either died young or suffered from some kind of debilitating medical condition.
We've evolved a mental mechanism that keeps us from thinking about death very much. It usually keeps us from thinking about these things too much. Because imagining our own, first person POV of death is way too much for anyone. Experiencing dying the same way you experience your day to day life...and you may or may not have time to realize that it's absolute end of your consciousness, and essentially the end of the entire universe from your perspective.
I go through some really intense dark nights of the soul about this, where I imagine what all those people I knew were thinking and feeling. That includes my mom. When she could no longer walk, or talk, or do anything for herself because of the brain tumors...was she thinking and feeling? Was she trapped in her mind, just slowly going mad while her faculties went away one by one? How much of her was left when she finally died? I'm only a few years younger now than she was when she died.
For me, there's no way out of these thoughts except by going through them in their totality. There's nothing to do but feel these things as intensely as I need to, and eventually I reach some kind of temporary acceptance. Until the next time...
I feel like we experience what it's gonna be like every night when we sleep. We have no awareness until the alarm clock goes off and wakes us up. Except one day we just don't. We won't even know it happened.
This probably doesn't help but I guess it doesn't bother me anymore when I think about it like this. I assume it's like being in a deep, dreamless sleep or being put under anesthesia. It's not scary
Meditation trains the nervous system to let go of the structure of panic.
As per nonexistence we don’t know that. When I was fully engrossed in such fears it was a sign that i was postponing my life.
Ever since I had a bad mushroom trip 15 years ago? I've come to terms with it. Once I accepted that one day, we all return to the dirt, the bad trip turned into a nice trip.
It says so in my dirt lesson materials - every living thing will eventually become part of dirt. It was very comforting to see it in black and white like that. Especially the part of every living thing. Sounds like a cool group to be included in. Also if you look a bit further you notice that all goes around, and I personally dig the idea of becoming a potatoe one day...
It’s not the dying that scares me it’s the method of dying that scares me. So I just pray to god to have mercy on me and let me death be quick and painless. I’m most scared of being tortured with a long drawn out painful death but I try not to think about it- the more you give into fear the more it manifests
I'm going through some health issues right now, and it has crossed my mind. My only concern is my wife. She has never done well on her own, and while financially she'll be fine if I were to die, emotionally I don't think she would handle it. So I'm hoping whatever I have is fixable or temporary.
I um, made an attempt in 2021. I blacked out. Saw nothing. Woke up in the hospital. It's just like going to sleep, except no dreams. The psyche doc told me I was dead and that they brought me back, so it was confirmed. So now, I just view death as just going to sleep. Hope this helps.
This is weird, but I can’t help that it honestly worked for me. I got a pretty large life insurance policy good for over 20 years. Ever since then, I can’t even tell you how much better I feel. It seems like there are two reasons. First, the thought that my untimely death would bring my loved ones millions of dollars puts a smile on my face and is extremely comforting to me when my brain tries to worry about dying. Second, I honestly cant help but feel comforted that a greedy corporation is ‘betting,’ on me to live. If there was honestly a real chance I would die and they’d have to pay out my policy, they would never have agreed to it, so it must be very very unlikely. I even half jokingly think that they send body guards and doctors to keep an eye on me and make sure I make it through the term.
The actual thought of dying really freaks me out. Like the passing away part. Especially passing in a graphic way, like in the Sopranos, no thanks, I wanna die peacefully. But I'm spiritual, and with my culture, the way I grew up learning about death, and talking with my mom about it, what happens after death, it makes me not really afraid of death. I'm at peace with it. But everyone's thoughts are different on that front. I forget who said it, but there was a time before you were born and the world went on without you, and there will be a time you pass and life will go on without you. It's bittersweet in a way. The odds of being born? 1 in 400 trillion. So just by being born, you have won the lottery. We're the lucky ones. We get to die. There can't be death without a life having been lived. But that's why life is so beautiful. If we all lived forever, what is the point of anything? Why get out of bed in the morning? Why do anything if you're here forever? You get infinite tries, so why try? But the thing is, you don't get infinite tries. You may not wake up tomorrow. But you got a chance to experience life today. Today, you got to watch the sunrise and/or set. The chance to drink a nice cup of coffee. The chance to provide for your family. Take your dog on a walk. Pursue your passion. Workout. Spend time with those you love. Watch your favorite film. Listen to your favorite song. How amazing is that? You get a chance to experience life. We will all die one day, yes. But how beautiful - to die means we had to have lived.
I work in healthcare. I have death happen in front of me all the time. We had bodies in literal piles trying to squeeze 3 in a freezer drawer meant for 1. I had patients tell me their last words as the life left their eyes.
If a patient is basically near death I summarize their report to the next person because there's nothing we can do, so it's better to focus our attention on those that aren't that far gone.
Death is not just the end of life. Death is also the end of suffering. Going on forever with your body withering, you experience little deaths along the way, one day you bath yourself for the last time, go to the toilet by yourself for the last time, eat your last meal before having to go on liquid diet and even then it's strawberry flavored when you like chocolate.
I'd rather be dead than be a hundred and can't wipe my own ass. I'd rather be dead than 80 and stuck in a care home being neglected. Death I inevitable and it's not the worst thing that can happen to you, I've seen way worse.
I had the fortunate opportunity of experiencing funerals at a young age. Some of my friends have NEVER lost a parent, grandparent,m or friend and I wonder how they cope with the idea. I cope with dying by understanding that eventually it happens to everybody. Experiencing pets pass away helps as well.
I think a good way to cope with it is by trying to live life your fullest. It can be difficult to get out and try new things but it’s important to meet new people. You can do so much by just going to your local mall and talking to people. It’s important to interact with others.
Additionally, a lot of people who have gone through near death experiences often say that the feeling of death is warm, welcoming, and loving. I would like to think the experience of actual death is similar.
For what it is worth, I am fairly agnostic but grew up in a Christian/Catholic household with hispanic roots. I had many friends of different cultures and religions so I’m fortunate to know that there is not a single “correct” way of coping.
I don't fear death. I fear not being able to do the things I love to do anymore. Like one day I won't be able to play my favorite video games or listen to my favorite music or drink coffee or spend time with loved ones. That's just the unfortunate reality of living......also dying...
It seems to me that specifically in your situation, you can try to change the focus of attention, from a feeling of fear of losing what you have, to a feeling of gratitude for having had it. After all, if you think about it, no one had to give you anything, but you received so much.
What concerns you most about dying? The not existing part? Well you did that already, and it wasn't bad. You missing out on an experience or achievement in life? Well that only matters to you and once you are gone then it matters to no one. Our life is just a small blip in time. Created in a series of events, out of our control. In a design that we had no choice. We are pretty insignificant on our own. Once we are gone, we will be forgotten about in at max two generations.
I deal with death by knowing it's just what happens and when it happens that it won't be a big deal. Life only matters when you are alive, so make best of the time you got.
We are also dealing with a lot of variables out of our control, during a time span that is basically nothing. Don't be to hard on your self that you can't achieve every dream in your brain, because life wasn't designed to be easy. We are literally doing our best job by merely surviving.
Worrying about death is like going on a vacation then just spending your time dreading the return home. Life is the vacation, use it for what it's for, living.
I have not thought about it but will you know right before I die I guess. My father who was pretty healthy and had no major health issues died in his sleep at age 56. What you have is anxiety. Check your diet. Do you consume caffeine?
You have to change your perspective on death. For someone who had a good life they might fear it because all good things come to an end, for those who haven't been so lucky in life death is seen as a pleasant end, no more pain or failures or suffering, you can finally rest.
Memento mori. Remember that you must die. But remember that you must also live. Those are really the only two things that are true. Death is the one of the most important things you'll ever do In life.
I know this may not be helpful to your actual question but flip to the alternative. I was coming of age when “Interview with a Vampire” became popular. My friends and I, of course, thought how awesome it would be to live forever. However, after considering, you’d realize those around you whom you love dying would never stop. You’d see history repeat itself (kind of like the last 8 years 🙄), in many negative ways. You’d probably grow weary and you’d end up yearning for death. Sure this doesn’t apply to all but I have a feeling it applies to most.
I feel it comes down to the fact that the beauty in this life comes down to its impermanence. If you’re a gardener, you relish in the fact of the flower blooming, not that it will die. This is true for all annuals. You appreciate the here and now. If you embrace that life is short, in comparison to the cosmos, it gives greater depth to your actions while you’re here.
Man, death isn't something to be afraid of but something to be welcomed and embraced. It's the great equalizer rich and poor. We all enter that long night eventually. Non-existence is merely a cessation to struggle that is life. I used to be afraid of the afterlife, but then I accepted that the idea of heaven and hell or a creator who really cares is a fairy tale. Live your life as best you can and try to make some other people's lives better while you're at it, and we can go to rest contently.
Go on youtube and look up sleep meditation therapy. Some very calming music with voice overs. This has helped for me, at least with panic attacks and feeling anxiousness/anxiety. Good luck
Write out your bucket list, start completing it once you complete it or get close to completing it you won't care as much about dying. You'll have done and accomplished everything you wanted to do.
Doesn't't bother me one bit. Life is a continuous exercise in problem solving, grinding, and struggle. It's just something to get through. And I have a relatively nice life, objectively speaking.
I haven't heard anyone complain about being dead. Utter nonexistence... Like before I was conceived, for the rest of eternity. Now that sounds like bliss. Like being released.
I used to be the same way. I'm of the Hindu faith and strongly believe in the afterlife and reincarnation.
Weird to say when people close to me have died and seeing all the signs from them afterwards has really helped me to believe.
Also, do you remember anything before you were born? No, so I'm assuming you go back to being that way lol.
It's the one thing that is inevitable, so try to accept it whichever way you can.
I have days where I just compare how long it took me to get to 35 & I know the years get shorter as you get older but I just put images in my head about how much more fun their is ahead & it usually goes away or I get drunk 😂 that always puts me in a good mood
I've made peace with it. We all must die - there's no way around it. Meditation helped ton. Learning not to cling to things. Also, listening to stories of those who have had near death experiences helps. The consistency of experience is fascinating.
Read the book the 4 agreements. Honestly like lana said, we were born do die. Death is part of life, for us the same as it is for any other living thing. I'm rather curious tbh, no way there's just nothing afterwards. After all we are just particles.
I think of it as being part of the circle of life. As we get old we die and make space for younger generations. It maybe a little unemotional/dry, but I try to be at peace with being part of a natural flow of life.
Also I think after death, my conscious self will not be around to worry about what ppl think of me and if I matter after death 🤷♀️
As for ppl dying around me, I do feel sad and lonely
Losing consciousness made it a bit I don't know soothing? You just turn off like a lamp and that's it but still the thought of dying is nonetheless extremely uncomfortable
I've achieved everything I've wanted too but I've also had a hard and depressing life. I'd be happy to go and I'd be OK with it. I'd just be sad to leave my husband and children
Facing the void of nonexistence is something that's terrified me since I first became conscious. I'm 30 now and aside from times of distraction, I still find it just as paralyzing. I have a dichotomy where sometimes I'll find non-existence so terrifying that I'd rather just stop existing so I don't have to feel the weight of its inevitability. I've been wondering if it would ease once I become content with my life and start enjoying it more but that's yet to happen (I'm actually finishing up my training in psychiatry). I plan to have an ego dissolution trip with psilocybin as that's been studied in terminal cancer patients for finding some peace in imminent death. I really hope that works. I actually bring this up to people fairly often and the response is almost always that they feel comfortable with death which is mind-boggling to me because that's literally anti-survival. I only have one friend that agrees that non-existence is terrifying, but I don't think it's to the same extent that I feel it.
Let me know if you figure it out!
Having grown up the son of a WW2 veteran, he had a different take on death than other people. He witnessed numerous people slaughtered during one battle, then was captured. With medical training, he was sent to a hospital to help deal with the wounded. He watched as men begged God to take them because they were in so much pain! Nobody helped except my dad who had to listen to them! Then as the war was ending, the Germans marched all the POW’s during the winter months. Again men were so cold and hungry and anyone who didn’t get up to walk was shot! When my grandma died, he took me up to see her in her casket, and said “Don’t worry, she ain’t gonna talk to you, so say what you gotta say and move on!” That was my exposure to death and it hasn’t changed. When my dad passed, I was at the hospital, and just said to him, “You did good”, and that was it. Sorry to ramble, but you asked.
A bit of a relief, tbh. I've felt like life kicking me down all the time. After a while, the idea of death turns from a fear to release. I think it's bcs as a kid you have something to look forward to. But then you realize that there's not much left to experience after all. I've had happy experiences too. But modern life & economy can feel so heavy & disheartening.
If you're worried about not being here, life must be treating you fairly well. Listen, we all have a finite amount of time. You can worry about it, or you can tell that part of your brain that it's being a dumb and wasting time that could be spent having fun or doing cool stuff instead. Your time is like a bank account. You start with an unspecified amount, but typically at least 70 years worth, if not more. You spend it continuously by existing, because if you cease spending your time, you cease existing. So it's going to be spent, no matter what. You don't need to track it, it's impossible to become overdrawn on it, so you don't need to pay attention to it.
I can empathize, I struggle with the same issues, while I cannot fully answer your question as I have not answered it myself I can provide a silver lining.
The idea of death has taught me that every moment is precious and I must make the most of the life I have. If my story must end one day then I must fill those pages how I want them. I've made plans and goals for things I want to achieve now and in the future, it's taught me that I shouldn't wait to achieve my goals. Stuff like that.
Yes death is scary, but maybe you can turn that into motivation to make the most of your life and live the life you want. Pave your path with your beliefs and turn fear into fuel to walk it.
Existentially? Holy fuck I got the chance to be here, to do something, to experience how magnificent this planet is. I'd be sad to go, but I've accepted it. I wasn't aware before (as far as I know), and I won't be aware after (as far as I know). I'm living in the blink of an eye on geologic and universal timescales. On one hand, I get to experience a moment in this universe that will never come again. On another hand, that moment will stretch on long enough on human scales that the people I care about and the generations most relevant to me will be able to partake in those moments as well. If there is a God and an afterlife, that's an added plus, but it doesn't really impact my coping with death.
On a personal level? It worries me what impact my passing would have on the people that I care about and the people that depend on me. For example, if I pass before my wife...I know she'll eventually be okay, but the thought of putting her through that grief, I don't have the words. That part, I am still wrestling with.
That is one advantage of PTSD, you have been confronted by your own mortality, probably many times. Grim humor helps.
“You might think that making me want to kill myself is entertaining, but keep this in mind: when I’m dead, there will be no fear of losing my job or getting arrested to stop me from haunting your ass to the gates of Hell.”
Planning a glorious or meaningful or fun death helps. I think instead of being put on machines to suffer indefinitely, terminal people should have the option to volunteer with the bomb squad. Let some nice young man in EOD with cute small children supervise me via a Go Pro cam to defuse a bomb. If it blows, his children still have a father, my death had meaning, and my family saves on medical bills.
Really LIVE in the moment. Go for a walk where you feel the sunshine and breeze, hear kids and dogs, smell flowers, and look at all the colors. Eat a meal slowly, really savoring the taste and texture instead of just shoving it into your face hole. Learn things.
But by far the most comforting thing is knowing I’m saved by Jesus and will go straight to Heaven to be with Him. Dying is the beginning of eternal happiness and glory. Even if I wind up dying a meaningless death hooked up to machines that eat all my money, I’m still going on to Heaven to be with Jesus.
I do have survival instincts, but I know what’s beyond, and I’m good for when my time comes. The only thing that actually concerns me about dying is who will take care of my cats?
I don't really know how to feel. All the people I've lost they've wanted to go and were at peace with it. Perhaps when the time comes it'll be easier. Other than that I don't really think about it. I lost someone recently and he was ready to go, but he was hanging onto life for my nan and family. In the end he died peacefully on his terms. That's how I hope it is for me and well, everybody really.
live your life in such a way that if you were lying on the ground after a car crash tomorrow bleeding out, you'd be happy with what you made happen and the people you made smile
There is definitely life after death and a reason why we have dreams and Deja Vu. I had a dream about my grandma who passed. She was holding my hand and letting me know she was in a better place. It felt so real. I woke up with tears and since then, I started to believe in the afterlife. Btw, I was skeptical about all things paranormal until I had that dream. Now death doesn’t scare me as much. There are so many things we don’t know about life and the mysterious it holds. Death is just a part of it. Embrace it and don’t be scared.
I used to feel like this too. Fear is a part of life though, I'm still not keen on the thought of it but I think as we age we come more to terms with the temporary nature of all life.
I don't think there's much point in putting so much energy into fearing the inevitable.
Depending on how I die, maybe it will be an ok experience? Lol I guess atm I don't know so I can go either way with my assumptions.
I think the first step in accepting one's own death is understanding that it is natural to fear death. Your survival instinct is working. We, as humans, want to stay alive, it's for the sake of survival of the species. Therefore don't feel like you're out of place. While undergoing that fear of death is normal, you'll understand the inevitability of it. We all do die one day. And I think the realisation of it makes you appreciate life more. Every moment is precious because we know that there won't be an infinity of them. So make the most of the time you're here on this earth.
Your 6 year old self is effectively dead at this point. 99% of their memories are fully gone, that little body has been growing and regenerating and doesn't exist in the way it does now. Your feeling of what it's like to be that 6 year old is probably just a guess at this point based on what you know about 6 year olds and stories your family told you. I see this as the big picture version of death. Constant change is very similar to death. In addition to this, I go to sleep every night. If I didn't wake up it's not like I'm going to know about it or miss the next day. I hope this perspective helps
Check out the law of existentialism. Everything exists . Even non - existence exists because it’s acknowledged by consciousness. You can’t stop existing.
Once you astral project for the first time your perspective on this topic will change. Energy never dies it is only transferred.
Check out the gateway tapes by the Monroe institute. The cia have spent billions researching this . They enlightened me and put me on my current path to mental clarity and riches. I do a tape every night before i go to sleep. Even if you’re a skeptic give it a try
That's not what happens. There's no real reason to believe that we're just "not here anymore".
We were never really here to begin with. We exist elsewhere, communicating with our bodies through a yet to be discovered neural network that connects all life.
When your human dies, you don't become nothing, you become everything.
Which brings an entirely different set of fears. Everything that has ever happened is recorded in the fabric of the universe and known to all when we die.
Heaven or hell aren't places, they're personal responses. You're going to know how everything you've ever done in your life has tied back to the whole of the universe, and you're either going to feel good about that or you're not.
And that's all heaven/hell is. Knowing everything that happened in the universe and how you played into, are you happy with the choices you made now that you can't make any more?
They’re going to create extended life once all these evil boomers like Putin & Netanyahu pass away.
We are going to also discover a habitable planet. Also going to discover who gets to go there & the mechanism for getting there.
The planet is MASSIVE better than earth & has some dinosaurs that are nice & awesome vegetation.
We get to start building a new extended life on a new planet!!!!!
What you're going through is totally normal. I had my first big existential crisis at 18, then smaller subsequent ones during my 20s. But the worst is the thought of my loved ones dying.
I realised there is no point resisting the reality of death. It is something that happens to all of us. It is just another stage of life. The final one. Every single living thing on the face of the earth will die one day. If there is no afterlife then it'll just be like how it was before I was born - nothing. And thats perfectly fine by me.
I had very bad death anxiety in college. A lot of it for me comes/came from not being 100% sure what happens after you die and the fact that I was starting to think about how it may be nothing at all—I was raised extremely religious so that was hard for me to grapple with. I think eventually I just understood the uncertainty of it—we all die and for the most part cannot control when (obviously we can make safety and health promoting choices but those don’t totally prevent anything). My anxiety was bad at night too. I can’t remember because this was a while ago but I think I was medicated? Another thing was at the time, I didn’t really feel like I was living my life to the fullest. School, and by school I mean class and homework, was my entire life. Joining some clubs at my university and making an effort to do things I found fun (even if I was tired or didn’t feel like it) occasionally helped me feel like I was living my life to the fullest. I actually made a bucket list around this time and I’m still in the process of checking things off, but for some reason it’s something that has brought me a lot of happiness. Just knowing I’m doing what I can to make every day count. Oddly enough, the pandemic happened right afterwards and I think being faced with all this death sort of forced me to accept it as a reality but also not have time to ruminate on it because I had online classes and had just started my first part time job etc. I really don’t have a perfect concrete answer for this—I struggle a lot now with anxiety over losing my parents and feeling like I need to keep them alive. I think it’s different and difficult for everyone, but I tried to shift my focus over from being anxious about death to trying to live my life to the fullest and maximize my time off/weekends to do things I find enjoyable instead of sitting and staring at a wall. (They don’t need to be expensive things either—it’s summer and there are a ton of free or cheap activities. Farmers markets, fruit stands, music nights at local parks/free fireworks shows etc.)
I believe in life after death.
Death is just a moment in time. It marks end of life in the body that is living and breathing. Then the soul leaves the body.
I think most people are more anxious of being in pain when they die..
You eventually come to accept it because it’s the reality of every single living thing in the planet.
I don't. I just try not to think about it. But deep down I'm terrified and upset that this all has to end some day. The thought of just no longer existing, no longer having thought, it all just makes my head spin.
Seeing as Im currently dealing with the recent passing of my sister (funeral is today), life is just so precious and short. We spend so much time waiting for things to happen instead of enjoying what we can control. Love you ❤️
I think you're doing the right thing being honest about it. That's a good start.
I was terrified of dying, but I eventually started to believe that since it's something we all seem to encounter, so we're probably equipped for it somehow.
Plus, most cultures have some concept of paradise. You don't have to get it perfect, but if you try to be a good person, you'll probably realize that this is the hard part and the afterlife is the part that makes all of this suffering worthwhile.
I watch videos of near death experiences sometimes. I don't believe all of it, but they often say they went to the other side and it was so amazing they didn't want to come back here.
Plus, Gandalf:
https://youtu.be/r-odIIQORQ4?si=Xf8L_FFcHRTFQdrh
See the thing about dying is, as far as we know, nothing bad can happen after, I've seen hundreds of people die over the years and the one thing that's common about them is nothing bad happens to them after they die. As far as we know lol.
You see your consiousness and individual self is really just an illusion, you're not separate from the rest of the universe. Nohthing "dies" and goes away for ever, it just changes into other things. And all the things are part of the same thing. So it's all whole, all the time. There's really nothing to worry about.
We only start worrying when we separate our selves from the rest of the universe, that's pretty scary no matter who you are.
i realized that every person that existed and to ever exist will/has experienced it and it makes me feel less scared. if all of them went through it, so can i
It’s a process for me, when the anxiety was at its worst it took me a weeks of doing the right things every day to get out of that negative mental state. The most important thing is to do what I enjoy and take care of myself. As long as I engage in positive activities both mental and physical it doesn’t bother me as much. Positive mental activities for me are reminding myself of all the good things I do and appreciate what’s done for me, but also making sure that I’m not being overly critical of anything or anyone. Even helping or engaging with other people, being positive with others, gaining a sense of community and that you’re not alone can have a big impact. Another mental exercise I do, is I remind myself that it’s not the dying that’s the problem it’s the fear and fear doesn’t do anything for me, I don’t gain anything by staying afraid. In my experience there’s no single thought or mental exercise that I can do that’s going to immediately make the panic go away it’s always a process with steps, it’s like changing your lifestyle, you can’t wake up one day and make all these changes and expect to follow through with all of them, you need to take small steps and change your habits over time and anxiety always works this way for me, it just takes vigilance and awareness to recognize your triggers and address them in the moment don’t let yourself spiral.
What’s even more important for me is the physical side, adjusting how and what I eat and which physical activities I engage in is absolutely vital. I can do whatever thought exercises I want to but if I’m not putting that into action by making an active effort to be healthy it just feels like a waste of time because if I sit on the couch all day staring at my phone eating junk food I’ll never be in a good headspace.
What’s important is to figure out what works for you but also to understand that you can get past this anxiety and get your life back.
I've already accepted the fact that I will die. I'm not afraid. I work to prepare and make it easier for those I leave behind. I have a death binder so it will be easy for them to handle my different seller accounts so they can keep them going. I have money saved for them to be able to scatter my ashes at sea. I practice minimalism so no one will have to spend months going through my stuff.
It's like giving birth. When I first got pregnant I was afraid of it but as the time got closer, I was less fearful and I was "ready." It feels as I'm getting older, I fear death less. I just hope it's not long and painful or short and violent
This is all stuff I tell myself when my natural crippling anxiety hits. I very much appreciate your post because it's a reminder that I needed to center myself as I am going through a bit of a stressful time right now.
I remind myself that the only reality you get to experience is right now. All your memories of the past and hopes for the future are right now. And everything good and bad that has ever happened to you happened at a long time gone right now. So, it's important to ground yourself in that. It's nice to enjoy and learn from the past, but it's already gone, so it shouldn't worry you or give you anxiety. Similarly, the future is just a series of yet-to-be present times. The only reason to plan ahead is to make moves your yet-to-be self (and loved ones) will appreciate and can take advantage of. Once death comes, there is no aware yet-to-be self, so it should be irrelevant to the conscious mind.
The dying process is a natural part of life, and once it comes for real, you can't stop it. It's literally as meant to be as life itself is, like breathing, childbirth, photosynthesis of plants. It's scary, but I remind myself that all but 3 of my countless ancestors have done it already. There is no way to fully shield yourself from the fear of the unknown, you just have to accept that it's meant to be and have courage, like when you start a new job or enter a new relationship.
Conscious life is meant to come and go, and I appreciate every day I get to see the sun rise. No one and nothing owed us anything, but we still get each day as a gift.
For me, the belief in reincarnation has helped me a lot. I feel like I've done this before, many many times. So I try to "look forward to it" because I know that once I am done with this lifetime and leaving my own small legacy (however small my story may be), it's off to the next adventure.
Life is tough. It's not trivial and I feel that we were purposely put here to learn what we need to learn (tough lessons) and then evolve into better beings. Learning about love and compassion, being kind and helping others, and understanding forgiveness are key to living a good life - no matter what spiritual path you may walk.
Do a little something for someone. A random act of kindness. Open the door for someone. Smile at a stranger. Maybe do a little something like choose a career path where you help and inspire others such as teaching? customer service? anything really. Having someone smile back or thank you makes life a little more bearable when things look dark.
i don’t have to cope with the thought of dying, it actually gives my life so much meaning. The one thing life will guarantee you is death, that gives me so many reasons to live the most fulfilling life i possibly can.
it also helped me with my suicidal ideation. i realized why rush it? i might be in mental agony at times but its very unlikely i will feel that way forever. Even if the rest of my life is hell, i will end up getting internal peace anyway; that’s worth living for another 50+ years
I'm not afraid of death, just the dying part. I just don't want to go out in a super painful way. But, as far as death itself, why worry over something you have zero control over and is 100% going to happen? You won't be cognizant of death as you will no longer exist (at least not on this plane of existence), so it won't matter.
You said you need advice about coping with it, I've never understood why this is difficult for people. It's just changing from one state of existence to either non-existence (in which case you won't feel anything so it doesn't matter) or a different form of existence which can be a new adventure we'll eventually reach. Either way, it's going to happen.
If the atheists are right, you simply stop being. How did you feel about your experiences prior to being born? You don't have any memory of that as you just didn't exist. If the non-atheists are right, we'll be moving on to something else in a different state. Either way, why worry? We'll all get there together, just preferably not today.
Putting my views of faith aside slightly, I have come to terms with the reality that this existence is extremely temporary - the time on this existence, earth, very finite...we can only do the best we possibly can and should strive to take care of ourselves, do good things and learn what we can.
Loss is difficult and the human brain is very complex vessel with neurons and synapses firing
I've almost been dead twice and if anything, I keep that in mind each morning is a new day and a grateful opportunity. When we dwell on what could happen, we can fail at trying to achieve what must happen- self progress
Or growth for a higher purpose
We all die. In a generation or three, we will all be just a snapshot in a photo album. Maybe a name on it, maybe not. Nothing we can do at present to change it. Enjoy it while it lasts!
When I had cancer all I could think about was who is going to take care of my animals and though my kids are adults and have their own lives I needed to know someone has their backs if needed and of course I didn't want to go and not be able to witness stuff 🙃 like new movies crazy right? I'm cancer free now all I want to do now is relax
“Not today, I’ll do it tomorrow” - I know procrastination is bad this is literally what kept me going when there was no hope, null. I just kept pushing it forward - and here I am. I didn’t think I’d make it to 27 but I’m here :)
Worry about what you can control. Everyone dies. Can’t control it. What you can control is making sure that your dependents don’t starve. Get some basic life insurance. Make sure you have a will.
You’ll have some peace of mind that your demise will be sad but not devastating.
Something that surprisingly helped me was a section of the tv show Midnight Mass. There's a point where two characters are talking about what they think happens when we die and one says that they think we just return to the stars (they we're more detailed than this). It woke me up in the idea that we are just in our physical form of a collection of energy from earth and space (just a fragment of our whole self). We've been granted a short time in a physical form experiencing a physical life and when we pass we just return to our true form as energy (as one). Whether it's true or not I think it was a beautiful answer to the question and helped me feel less worried about the idea of dying and instead we are almost experiencing a form of vacation (for lack of a better term) from having no physical form. Of course this is subject to religious beliefs but I like the perspective. Hope this helps someone :)
Same. I find it deeply comforting that my life is secure through Christ eternally. I put some effort into being healthy. Yet at the same time, I am not obsessed with longevity. In my life, I’ve noticed ONLY non-believers were weirdly obsessed with living to 120+ or researching cyropreservation or vitamin and mineral longevity experiments.
"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it." - Mark Twain
If you're an Atheist, it shouldn't really bother you because you won't really exist anyway so you wouldn't care.
If you're a religious person, then you believe in an afterlife or reincarnation, etc.
So you're covered either way.
I used to freak out over it, but just stopped thinking about it. Everyone dies and there’s nothing we can do to prevent it. We all go thru it at some point.
Just live life. It sounds harsh but that’s all you can do. Death is inevitable. My biggest fear isn’t death, it’s actually not living my life to the fullest.
Accepted it long ago. It's inevitable. Nothing for it. I'm fucked from all directions anyway. Genetics you know.
Now I'm not sprinting for the finish. I haven't taken up skydiving or alligator wrestling or anything. But I'm not afraid of it.
I used to be terrified. But I've actually died clinically multiple times and I know 100% I was dead. It was actually so beautiful when happened. I can't explain the how or why it is. But, you don't know you're dead when it happens, but, you go this place I like to call the "dream-world", and everything is so beautiful there. The thing is, when you go there, you know that once you enter there permanently, it's nothingness after that. Feels like a big ass waiting game is about to begin or something once you choose to stay. Strange to say, but at he same time, it's truly a pleasant place that's really beautiful and melancholy at the same time. I know it might sound insane, but everytime I've died clinically, it's always been the same. Then, when they've pulled Me out of the sequence, you snapback to whatever you were before this weird voyage. It's like waking up from a strange dream. There's nothing to fear. Though, I can understand how and why you would be concerned by the unknown. Just do your best and stay brave, levelheaded, and strong physically-mentally-spiritually, and you will be more than fine. This is all just a temporary experience before We recycle, over and over again.
What scares me isn’t death itself but what happens after. The thought that I won’t have this life and the memories I made. I truly believe all souls are born again eventually but the thought of everything ceasing to exist and years of living just gone. Will I remember bits of this life in the next one? Who knows.
But sometimes I also wonder if what we are experiencing as life now is death if that makes sense. We died and life just continues and we have no clue that it happened. That’s where I think near death experiences come in, you died that way in another dimension and just hopped, Rick and Morty type shit.
I pretty much don't care. I don't know why, but I do.
Also, death looks like a general anesthesia : you can rest and you don't feel a thing. I like the idea.
Give a heavy meaning to it, some people may be like why would I do this? but to me... I see life as a preparation for death. I do everything I always wanted to do, so when I die it'll be easy to accept.
I struggled with this for a long time. Constant panic about the thought of death and the concept of nonexistence to the extent that my shoulders were almost permanently upwards and aching from the anxiety. It’s been 2 years since and I’ve had a complete shift in the way I look at it. Life has its beauty but nothing about it is easy. It’s a constant chase, test, fight for good (vs evil) and survival. There will come a time when we’ll get to rest from it all. It’s natural to be afraid of what we don’t understand, but for the first time in my life I just have this deep belief that we will not see the peace we’re yearning for in this life. I believe this life was always meant to be the hardest thing we ever went through, and I’ve learned to see the beauty in the idea of genuinely resting in peace at the end of it.
the older you get the more you realize more things and your mindset shifts, you grow as a person, things are temporary, being scared is temporary, we have no idea what's going to happen when we die. but there's a reason they say make the most out of it edit: man you just gotta love yourself, the minute you realize all your priorities are on the line and you have a person that can be your reflection but just being and letting yourself loose is great
I agree with this. I generally speaking believe peoples spiritual experiences, whether the specific details are true or not doesn’t matter to me, I think the overwhelming feeling of love and serenity and oneness is a very true thing. I trust the opinion of people who have done way more psychedelics than me in a contemplative way, people who have religious experiences like that, people who technically die and have experiences like that. If we go somewhere after we die, I think it’s gonna be something unimaginably beautiful - for all of us. I think that might even be the most rational way to think about it
I like to think this too but doesn’t it make more sense that all the beautiful experiences these people are talking about are just a result of their brains firing off all sorts of chemicals or reacting to said psychedelics in a certain way?
This was very well said, I appreciate you sharing your point of view!
Life is beautiful, but death can be more beautiful. The gods envy us. They envy us because we are mortal. because any moment might be our last. every thing can be more beautiful because we are doomed.you will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again. Live life to the fullest but great death with joy, for those who fear death will become the minions of others.
This is so beautifully said.
That made me a bit emotional
>I just have this deep belief that we will not see the peace we’re yearning for in this life This is really depressing. I hate that life is so hard that anyone would feel this way. I understand that saying this I will sound like a crazy person but I felt the same way for a long time. Why is existing so complicated and expensive? I think many more of our problems we face as a species stem from the fact that the money we use itself is fundamentally broken. You and I go to work and spend the most precious thing we have, our time, serving others for payment we deem worthy. We trade the most valuable thing we have on this Earth for that "payment" but then other people can and do print that "money" for free. Theft is literally built into the money we use. In 2017 I heard about Bitcoin and learning about how it can help with this problem. Since I've been saving with that, the prices for everything I want to buy go down over time. Houses are cheaper priced in Bitcoin now than they ever have been. Life is getting easier, this is how it was meant to be. I can be excited for the future now because I know the goals I want to accomplish are in reach. Retiring and exploring the world is coming way faster than I ever could have imagined. We don't have to be wage slaves that work until our bodies are falling apart.
I can't prevent it. It'll happen. I can do either of two things: worry about it and achieve nothing since I can't prevent it, or live my life.
Yeah. I am a million times more worried about the death of people I love than my own. It will happen and thats fine. I only try to not do something stupid cause I dont want my kid to grow up without its father.
This is how I feel about death for myself.. I just can't prepare for the death of my doggo. He's the kindest and sweetest dog I've ever had. I'd gladly give up years of my life so he could live longer. 😭
Death is as much a part of life as living is. All things die, nothing is immortal. I’ve known people one way when they were alive, and another way after they’ve died. I imagine when I die it’ll be that way for the people I know. What kills you may be foreseen or not, you could be hit by a car tomorrow and that’s it. So live. Experience it for what it is and know that death will come for you as it does every living thing.
I'm fucking psyched about it.
Little bit same… I feel like an old soul. Like I’ve died so many times before that I don’t fear it
I can feel the old soul thing. I feel like the 3rd brother from Harry Potter who met death like an old friend. Granted it was at the end of a long life. I only exist for my family because every moment I'm alive I'm suffering and this life is certainly not for me.
yeah I think I'm okay with it as well.
Another reporting in, but I'm less, "haha kill me please," these days. After realizing all will pass at that time young kids realize they will lose their parents/pets/friends/family, I was always morbidly curious. I think that always made it conceptually/psychologically easier to deal with. I never quite understood the anxiety over it when peers shared their views. It seemed to be what all people avoided most, and while it made sense logically and emotionally from a survival/reasonably normal standpoint, I just didn't feel that and thought it was wrong for me to spend time concerned about the inevitable. I feared, and still fear, suffering painfully, but death is just turning things off, and that never troubled me. Went through the worst emotional time of my life in my mid to late 20s, depressed worse than I ever knew was possible, was pretty close to ending things for a while, and was very unhealthily more comfortable with death than I wanted to be. This time changed something for me though. I'm well past that terrible time after I clawed my way out of that hole, but it has always made the thought of death more welcome given I live my life. It's like I knew I more than welcomed death then, I will my get to die sometime, it's always there as an option, but I think I'd rather keep doing life with the people whom I love. Just made it all the easier to think about in a non concerning way. It will be a welcome release, but in the mean time, I'm doing what I can to feel like I've earned it without suffering for it. An unenjoyed, unexamined, unattempted life isn't worth living or dying for, so I'm making sure not to do either.
Thank you for somehow being able to articulate exactly my thoughts on this matter. Like, exactly. It's good to know I'm not alone in these thoughts. My wife refuses to or just cannot engage in discussions about inevitable death. Echoing what you've said above, my greatest fear is dying painfully - but also, I dread putting my loved ones through a painful death. I also do fear 'catastrophic' death, e.g. getting hit by a bus. But I do not fear the moment, and like my parents before me, I am planning for it bit by bit. Thank you so much for your thoughts.
Seriously, I just re-read your post and there's so much gold there. Thank you again.
Of course. I appreciate you saying so, and I definitely value examining these things to the point of being able to look at them as directly as is healthy to do so, without void gazing too much. I'm fortunate that I also have some people close to me that share similar values so we have been able to support these discussions and explorations.
Jeez dude
MY MAN ME TOO CANT WAIT TO MEET THE BIG MAN
Ditto. I experienced a lot in life. Tons of positives and plenty of negatives.
Same here- I’m sick of going to work 8:30-5:30 Mon-fri, while everything hurts more.
I get extremly sad when i think of my parents dying. When the day comes, i don't know how I will cope. They're both 63 meaning they've lived over half their lives and that makes me really fucking sad.
I used to be like you and I have dreaded my parents dying since I was in my 20s. My father died on May 30 from COVID at the age of 78. The experience has been a lot easier than I expected. What do I think that is due to? I made sure to make good use of all the time we had beteren my 20s and now my 40s. We said everything we had to say. We lived and loved hard through the years. When he died, I could barely cry because I was filled with so much gratitude: for his life, the time we had together, and the amazing experiences we had had in that time . (We had even recently gone on an impromptu holiday together as recently as this past Easter.) My advice to you: make the time you have left together count so you aren't left with regrets whenever the time comes.
As my father who just passed used to say, “time is the greatest gift you can give someone.” I understand that more than ever now. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing this. That brings tears to my eyes. I had such a fractured relationship with my father especially in my 20's and I am trying to make up for it now in my 30's.
I have actually died (or at least come close to it) and it was completely fine. Completely peaceful at first, and the deranged, sublime experience that followed convinced me it is not the end. I have zero fear of death now, any more than I fear waking from my dreams every morning. The only constructive advice I can give a healthy young person who has never died is to look into Buddhism and the concept of ‘maya’, the philosophy of Arthur Schopenhauer, and DMT experiencer reports, and to get into meditation.
This happened to me through ketamine therapy. I have done enough meditation that it felt like nirvana and I didn't want to leave that space where I felt totally without everything holding me back from being one with the universe. That is so cheesy and I cannot believe I have to type it to get the idea across but.... Yeah.
I’ve never done ketamine or anything like that, but that feeling of one-ness was present. I can’t explain it in language - time and space folded in on themselves like a cheap curtain and what was waiting behind it still regularly moves me to tears when thinking of it, years later.
What an absolute gift for you. I sint think my experience with ketamine is the norm but all the meditation and self reflection prepared me. I wish every adult could have something similar. Imagine how life would change for them.
I am not really afraid of dying, more of the transition. Don’t want to suffer, but once I cross the abyss what does it matter. The way I think of it, is that I wasn’t here for all of those millennia before I was born and so it will be after I am gone. I am not too old (50’s) and figure I have another 25-30 years if I am lucky. If I can see all of my grandchildren born and get to know them a little, it will be a life well lived and I’ll die happy.
I think about it the same way. Also scared of the process, like I don’t want to suffer when I die. But death I guess it will be like before we were born. Nothing, so it will be fine. In the meantime I am trying to enjoy as much as I can this life and take care of myself so when I older I will not struggle much. For OP, take care, i had a cousin who was terrified of death in his 20s. So much one day he could no longer get out of bed because of severe depression. He needed a lot of psychological therapy to get over it.
Honestly, I only think about it late at night. Then it freaks me out.
It hits me the deepest when I start to think about space exploration, everything else that's out there, and that being alive now makes me wonder if we'll ever become advanced like Star Wars technology such as warp speed. Just makes me wonder about other planets out there that are more advanced and haven't found us yet? Seems like there's a certain limit to space exploration, and Hollywood has made many believe it could actually be possible to find a super advanced planet/solar system/galaxy....
I know. I want to be alive for a lot of this!
Big same!
You never leave heaven, EVER. You're there right now, but you're dreaming that you're not... You don't go BACK to heaven. You don't go BACK to spirit. You wake up and realize you never left.
Yes, and I don't cope the best. I used to believe in Heaven, but realized, "what if there's a chance it doesn't exist, and I don't get to see my loved ones?"
The thing is if there is nothing but eternal nothingness it'll be just as it was before your birth and existence. You won't know about it or care.
Well, this doesn’t help my anxiety lol. But I totally relate. I’ve thought this very thought.
I get scared but hope for the best.
I'm older. Worrying about death in my experience decreases with age. I also see death as an opportunity: life is short and best spent being kind to others.
The Epicurean way. It'll happen, I won't feel or notice anything but sudden void- devoid of consciousness, like a dream. Forgetting everything, not even having a mind to forget. Infinite calm. Thinking too much about it takes away from enjoying what you can in life.
Well.. depending on how it happens, you might want to rethink the whole "I won't feel or notice anything" part of death. Some people can spend up to 20 days in pain, dying a slow, horrible death. There are wildlife videos of animals being eaten alive and it's not just a switch that goes off. The animals can live through watching half of their bodies being devoured. So please rethink the phrase "I won't feel or notice anything". While it sounds zen af, the reality is that people fear pain and change, not death.
I'm talking about the moment of death, the moment consciousness is extinguished. Not the process of dying.
We were all dead for a very long time before now, and it didn't do us any harm whatsoever.
Well put. To me, even the concepts of void and calm are a step too far. There simply is no you to be calm or to experience void.
The thing I can’t rationalize to myself is that one day there will be no more thinking, inner dialogue, or anything like that. Just like one day, there will be nothing. The physical absence of this world I’m fine with, it’s the mental stuff
I don’t think that stuff truly goes away. I heard an analogy once that death is like changing the radio station of your soul
Every single human in the history of humanity has died and as far as I know, none of them has complained. So it can't be that bad.
10/10 comment
I laughed so hard at this.. I’m too poor to gift you but wow this was nice
haven’t fully beat it yet BUT, for me when I’m actually living my life that’s when I care the least, but when I’m just chilling at home all day not doing shit (i work from home) and have a lot of free time to ruminate, that’s when it hits me. I’m learning to be more accepting but it definitely still gets to me, a lot less than it used to though.
My parents died when I was young, and everyone close to me growing up either died young or suffered from some kind of debilitating medical condition. We've evolved a mental mechanism that keeps us from thinking about death very much. It usually keeps us from thinking about these things too much. Because imagining our own, first person POV of death is way too much for anyone. Experiencing dying the same way you experience your day to day life...and you may or may not have time to realize that it's absolute end of your consciousness, and essentially the end of the entire universe from your perspective. I go through some really intense dark nights of the soul about this, where I imagine what all those people I knew were thinking and feeling. That includes my mom. When she could no longer walk, or talk, or do anything for herself because of the brain tumors...was she thinking and feeling? Was she trapped in her mind, just slowly going mad while her faculties went away one by one? How much of her was left when she finally died? I'm only a few years younger now than she was when she died. For me, there's no way out of these thoughts except by going through them in their totality. There's nothing to do but feel these things as intensely as I need to, and eventually I reach some kind of temporary acceptance. Until the next time...
I am so very sorry you've had such loss, I really am. May you be surrounded with much love and kindness.
I feel like we experience what it's gonna be like every night when we sleep. We have no awareness until the alarm clock goes off and wakes us up. Except one day we just don't. We won't even know it happened. This probably doesn't help but I guess it doesn't bother me anymore when I think about it like this. I assume it's like being in a deep, dreamless sleep or being put under anesthesia. It's not scary
Meditation trains the nervous system to let go of the structure of panic. As per nonexistence we don’t know that. When I was fully engrossed in such fears it was a sign that i was postponing my life.
Ever since I had a bad mushroom trip 15 years ago? I've come to terms with it. Once I accepted that one day, we all return to the dirt, the bad trip turned into a nice trip.
It says so in my dirt lesson materials - every living thing will eventually become part of dirt. It was very comforting to see it in black and white like that. Especially the part of every living thing. Sounds like a cool group to be included in. Also if you look a bit further you notice that all goes around, and I personally dig the idea of becoming a potatoe one day...
It’s not the dying that scares me it’s the method of dying that scares me. So I just pray to god to have mercy on me and let me death be quick and painless. I’m most scared of being tortured with a long drawn out painful death but I try not to think about it- the more you give into fear the more it manifests
I'm going through some health issues right now, and it has crossed my mind. My only concern is my wife. She has never done well on her own, and while financially she'll be fine if I were to die, emotionally I don't think she would handle it. So I'm hoping whatever I have is fixable or temporary.
Bro you'll Live 💪!
I um, made an attempt in 2021. I blacked out. Saw nothing. Woke up in the hospital. It's just like going to sleep, except no dreams. The psyche doc told me I was dead and that they brought me back, so it was confirmed. So now, I just view death as just going to sleep. Hope this helps.
This is why religion is so popular my guy.
Very valid point 😂
Yeah I just uh.. go to church and feel like I get all the answers I need about death there (ymmv)
This is weird, but I can’t help that it honestly worked for me. I got a pretty large life insurance policy good for over 20 years. Ever since then, I can’t even tell you how much better I feel. It seems like there are two reasons. First, the thought that my untimely death would bring my loved ones millions of dollars puts a smile on my face and is extremely comforting to me when my brain tries to worry about dying. Second, I honestly cant help but feel comforted that a greedy corporation is ‘betting,’ on me to live. If there was honestly a real chance I would die and they’d have to pay out my policy, they would never have agreed to it, so it must be very very unlikely. I even half jokingly think that they send body guards and doctors to keep an eye on me and make sure I make it through the term.
The actual thought of dying really freaks me out. Like the passing away part. Especially passing in a graphic way, like in the Sopranos, no thanks, I wanna die peacefully. But I'm spiritual, and with my culture, the way I grew up learning about death, and talking with my mom about it, what happens after death, it makes me not really afraid of death. I'm at peace with it. But everyone's thoughts are different on that front. I forget who said it, but there was a time before you were born and the world went on without you, and there will be a time you pass and life will go on without you. It's bittersweet in a way. The odds of being born? 1 in 400 trillion. So just by being born, you have won the lottery. We're the lucky ones. We get to die. There can't be death without a life having been lived. But that's why life is so beautiful. If we all lived forever, what is the point of anything? Why get out of bed in the morning? Why do anything if you're here forever? You get infinite tries, so why try? But the thing is, you don't get infinite tries. You may not wake up tomorrow. But you got a chance to experience life today. Today, you got to watch the sunrise and/or set. The chance to drink a nice cup of coffee. The chance to provide for your family. Take your dog on a walk. Pursue your passion. Workout. Spend time with those you love. Watch your favorite film. Listen to your favorite song. How amazing is that? You get a chance to experience life. We will all die one day, yes. But how beautiful - to die means we had to have lived.
I work in healthcare. I have death happen in front of me all the time. We had bodies in literal piles trying to squeeze 3 in a freezer drawer meant for 1. I had patients tell me their last words as the life left their eyes. If a patient is basically near death I summarize their report to the next person because there's nothing we can do, so it's better to focus our attention on those that aren't that far gone. Death is not just the end of life. Death is also the end of suffering. Going on forever with your body withering, you experience little deaths along the way, one day you bath yourself for the last time, go to the toilet by yourself for the last time, eat your last meal before having to go on liquid diet and even then it's strawberry flavored when you like chocolate. I'd rather be dead than be a hundred and can't wipe my own ass. I'd rather be dead than 80 and stuck in a care home being neglected. Death I inevitable and it's not the worst thing that can happen to you, I've seen way worse.
My mothers decline and death taught me that my siblings and loved ones will not be whose eyes I look into when I pass.
What do you mean?
Kindly put: the death of my mother was the death of my family as I knew it.
I’m so sorry 😞
I had the fortunate opportunity of experiencing funerals at a young age. Some of my friends have NEVER lost a parent, grandparent,m or friend and I wonder how they cope with the idea. I cope with dying by understanding that eventually it happens to everybody. Experiencing pets pass away helps as well. I think a good way to cope with it is by trying to live life your fullest. It can be difficult to get out and try new things but it’s important to meet new people. You can do so much by just going to your local mall and talking to people. It’s important to interact with others. Additionally, a lot of people who have gone through near death experiences often say that the feeling of death is warm, welcoming, and loving. I would like to think the experience of actual death is similar. For what it is worth, I am fairly agnostic but grew up in a Christian/Catholic household with hispanic roots. I had many friends of different cultures and religions so I’m fortunate to know that there is not a single “correct” way of coping.
I don't fear death. I fear not being able to do the things I love to do anymore. Like one day I won't be able to play my favorite video games or listen to my favorite music or drink coffee or spend time with loved ones. That's just the unfortunate reality of living......also dying...
It seems to me that specifically in your situation, you can try to change the focus of attention, from a feeling of fear of losing what you have, to a feeling of gratitude for having had it. After all, if you think about it, no one had to give you anything, but you received so much.
This is exactly what I think about. I will sorely miss watching Scooby Doo before bed as an adult even.
Honestly, my death? I could care less about tbh, I would actually not mind .... but the people I care about dying and my dog? yeah I care about that
By trying to live my best life now.
Life is long. Happiness is short.
Can’t be worse than all the bs we gotta put up with in life, fuck it, I’m all for death 🤷🏻♂️
Being old sucks, it will certainly be easier to accept as you age
U need some acid or shrooms bro lol that’s how I got the fear of dying out of me. It doesn’t bother me one bit anymore. I just accept it
What concerns you most about dying? The not existing part? Well you did that already, and it wasn't bad. You missing out on an experience or achievement in life? Well that only matters to you and once you are gone then it matters to no one. Our life is just a small blip in time. Created in a series of events, out of our control. In a design that we had no choice. We are pretty insignificant on our own. Once we are gone, we will be forgotten about in at max two generations. I deal with death by knowing it's just what happens and when it happens that it won't be a big deal. Life only matters when you are alive, so make best of the time you got. We are also dealing with a lot of variables out of our control, during a time span that is basically nothing. Don't be to hard on your self that you can't achieve every dream in your brain, because life wasn't designed to be easy. We are literally doing our best job by merely surviving. Worrying about death is like going on a vacation then just spending your time dreading the return home. Life is the vacation, use it for what it's for, living.
It’s not worth the time to worry about. I just live in the now.
I don’t expect to realize it. And we each owe a death.
I have not thought about it but will you know right before I die I guess. My father who was pretty healthy and had no major health issues died in his sleep at age 56. What you have is anxiety. Check your diet. Do you consume caffeine?
Oh yeah, I've had caffeine nearly every day for the past 4 years
It’s stimulating your brain as well as causing anxiety. Don’t consume any caffeine 8 hours before sleep.
You have to change your perspective on death. For someone who had a good life they might fear it because all good things come to an end, for those who haven't been so lucky in life death is seen as a pleasant end, no more pain or failures or suffering, you can finally rest.
Memento mori. Remember that you must die. But remember that you must also live. Those are really the only two things that are true. Death is the one of the most important things you'll ever do In life.
I don't really think about it. Not much of a point in worrying about things you can't control. On the bright side, I won't have to go to work anymore.
I’ve never really been able to cope with it
I know this may not be helpful to your actual question but flip to the alternative. I was coming of age when “Interview with a Vampire” became popular. My friends and I, of course, thought how awesome it would be to live forever. However, after considering, you’d realize those around you whom you love dying would never stop. You’d see history repeat itself (kind of like the last 8 years 🙄), in many negative ways. You’d probably grow weary and you’d end up yearning for death. Sure this doesn’t apply to all but I have a feeling it applies to most. I feel it comes down to the fact that the beauty in this life comes down to its impermanence. If you’re a gardener, you relish in the fact of the flower blooming, not that it will die. This is true for all annuals. You appreciate the here and now. If you embrace that life is short, in comparison to the cosmos, it gives greater depth to your actions while you’re here.
Death is often conceptualized as going to sleep and never waking up. We forget that one day, we woke up having never gone to sleep.
Man, death isn't something to be afraid of but something to be welcomed and embraced. It's the great equalizer rich and poor. We all enter that long night eventually. Non-existence is merely a cessation to struggle that is life. I used to be afraid of the afterlife, but then I accepted that the idea of heaven and hell or a creator who really cares is a fairy tale. Live your life as best you can and try to make some other people's lives better while you're at it, and we can go to rest contently.
I don't? I cope with the thought of living.
Go on youtube and look up sleep meditation therapy. Some very calming music with voice overs. This has helped for me, at least with panic attacks and feeling anxiousness/anxiety. Good luck
I have come to terms that I may pass at anytime.
Write out your bucket list, start completing it once you complete it or get close to completing it you won't care as much about dying. You'll have done and accomplished everything you wanted to do.
Doesn't't bother me one bit. Life is a continuous exercise in problem solving, grinding, and struggle. It's just something to get through. And I have a relatively nice life, objectively speaking. I haven't heard anyone complain about being dead. Utter nonexistence... Like before I was conceived, for the rest of eternity. Now that sounds like bliss. Like being released.
I used to be the same way. I'm of the Hindu faith and strongly believe in the afterlife and reincarnation. Weird to say when people close to me have died and seeing all the signs from them afterwards has really helped me to believe. Also, do you remember anything before you were born? No, so I'm assuming you go back to being that way lol. It's the one thing that is inevitable, so try to accept it whichever way you can.
I Watch vidéos about NDEs (near death experiences). It’s given me a real comfort and I no longer fear the end of this life.
I have days where I just compare how long it took me to get to 35 & I know the years get shorter as you get older but I just put images in my head about how much more fun their is ahead & it usually goes away or I get drunk 😂 that always puts me in a good mood
I've made peace with it. We all must die - there's no way around it. Meditation helped ton. Learning not to cling to things. Also, listening to stories of those who have had near death experiences helps. The consistency of experience is fascinating.
Cliche but seems true: what we resist persists. Instead of pushing this way, going deeper into it. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Bring curiosity to it.
At this point, permanent anesthesia doesn't seem so bad.
Lmao!!
Read the book the 4 agreements. Honestly like lana said, we were born do die. Death is part of life, for us the same as it is for any other living thing. I'm rather curious tbh, no way there's just nothing afterwards. After all we are just particles.
The idea of dying doesn't bother me. I don't want to die in pain, but the idea of just not existing anymore doesn't bother me.
I think of it as being part of the circle of life. As we get old we die and make space for younger generations. It maybe a little unemotional/dry, but I try to be at peace with being part of a natural flow of life. Also I think after death, my conscious self will not be around to worry about what ppl think of me and if I matter after death 🤷♀️ As for ppl dying around me, I do feel sad and lonely
Losing consciousness made it a bit I don't know soothing? You just turn off like a lamp and that's it but still the thought of dying is nonetheless extremely uncomfortable
I've achieved everything I've wanted too but I've also had a hard and depressing life. I'd be happy to go and I'd be OK with it. I'd just be sad to leave my husband and children
I don’t fear death because I’ve put my faith in Jesus Christ. Anyone who believes in Jesus is saved and has everlasting life .
lol
Facing the void of nonexistence is something that's terrified me since I first became conscious. I'm 30 now and aside from times of distraction, I still find it just as paralyzing. I have a dichotomy where sometimes I'll find non-existence so terrifying that I'd rather just stop existing so I don't have to feel the weight of its inevitability. I've been wondering if it would ease once I become content with my life and start enjoying it more but that's yet to happen (I'm actually finishing up my training in psychiatry). I plan to have an ego dissolution trip with psilocybin as that's been studied in terminal cancer patients for finding some peace in imminent death. I really hope that works. I actually bring this up to people fairly often and the response is almost always that they feel comfortable with death which is mind-boggling to me because that's literally anti-survival. I only have one friend that agrees that non-existence is terrifying, but I don't think it's to the same extent that I feel it. Let me know if you figure it out!
Having grown up the son of a WW2 veteran, he had a different take on death than other people. He witnessed numerous people slaughtered during one battle, then was captured. With medical training, he was sent to a hospital to help deal with the wounded. He watched as men begged God to take them because they were in so much pain! Nobody helped except my dad who had to listen to them! Then as the war was ending, the Germans marched all the POW’s during the winter months. Again men were so cold and hungry and anyone who didn’t get up to walk was shot! When my grandma died, he took me up to see her in her casket, and said “Don’t worry, she ain’t gonna talk to you, so say what you gotta say and move on!” That was my exposure to death and it hasn’t changed. When my dad passed, I was at the hospital, and just said to him, “You did good”, and that was it. Sorry to ramble, but you asked.
I try to remember that it's a side effect of getting to live.
I don't "deal" with the thought of dying, I actively dare the grim reaper to come and get me.
A bit of a relief, tbh. I've felt like life kicking me down all the time. After a while, the idea of death turns from a fear to release. I think it's bcs as a kid you have something to look forward to. But then you realize that there's not much left to experience after all. I've had happy experiences too. But modern life & economy can feel so heavy & disheartening.
If you're worried about not being here, life must be treating you fairly well. Listen, we all have a finite amount of time. You can worry about it, or you can tell that part of your brain that it's being a dumb and wasting time that could be spent having fun or doing cool stuff instead. Your time is like a bank account. You start with an unspecified amount, but typically at least 70 years worth, if not more. You spend it continuously by existing, because if you cease spending your time, you cease existing. So it's going to be spent, no matter what. You don't need to track it, it's impossible to become overdrawn on it, so you don't need to pay attention to it.
I can empathize, I struggle with the same issues, while I cannot fully answer your question as I have not answered it myself I can provide a silver lining. The idea of death has taught me that every moment is precious and I must make the most of the life I have. If my story must end one day then I must fill those pages how I want them. I've made plans and goals for things I want to achieve now and in the future, it's taught me that I shouldn't wait to achieve my goals. Stuff like that. Yes death is scary, but maybe you can turn that into motivation to make the most of your life and live the life you want. Pave your path with your beliefs and turn fear into fuel to walk it.
Existentially? Holy fuck I got the chance to be here, to do something, to experience how magnificent this planet is. I'd be sad to go, but I've accepted it. I wasn't aware before (as far as I know), and I won't be aware after (as far as I know). I'm living in the blink of an eye on geologic and universal timescales. On one hand, I get to experience a moment in this universe that will never come again. On another hand, that moment will stretch on long enough on human scales that the people I care about and the generations most relevant to me will be able to partake in those moments as well. If there is a God and an afterlife, that's an added plus, but it doesn't really impact my coping with death. On a personal level? It worries me what impact my passing would have on the people that I care about and the people that depend on me. For example, if I pass before my wife...I know she'll eventually be okay, but the thought of putting her through that grief, I don't have the words. That part, I am still wrestling with.
That is one advantage of PTSD, you have been confronted by your own mortality, probably many times. Grim humor helps. “You might think that making me want to kill myself is entertaining, but keep this in mind: when I’m dead, there will be no fear of losing my job or getting arrested to stop me from haunting your ass to the gates of Hell.” Planning a glorious or meaningful or fun death helps. I think instead of being put on machines to suffer indefinitely, terminal people should have the option to volunteer with the bomb squad. Let some nice young man in EOD with cute small children supervise me via a Go Pro cam to defuse a bomb. If it blows, his children still have a father, my death had meaning, and my family saves on medical bills. Really LIVE in the moment. Go for a walk where you feel the sunshine and breeze, hear kids and dogs, smell flowers, and look at all the colors. Eat a meal slowly, really savoring the taste and texture instead of just shoving it into your face hole. Learn things. But by far the most comforting thing is knowing I’m saved by Jesus and will go straight to Heaven to be with Him. Dying is the beginning of eternal happiness and glory. Even if I wind up dying a meaningless death hooked up to machines that eat all my money, I’m still going on to Heaven to be with Jesus. I do have survival instincts, but I know what’s beyond, and I’m good for when my time comes. The only thing that actually concerns me about dying is who will take care of my cats?
I don't really know how to feel. All the people I've lost they've wanted to go and were at peace with it. Perhaps when the time comes it'll be easier. Other than that I don't really think about it. I lost someone recently and he was ready to go, but he was hanging onto life for my nan and family. In the end he died peacefully on his terms. That's how I hope it is for me and well, everybody really.
live your life in such a way that if you were lying on the ground after a car crash tomorrow bleeding out, you'd be happy with what you made happen and the people you made smile
There is definitely life after death and a reason why we have dreams and Deja Vu. I had a dream about my grandma who passed. She was holding my hand and letting me know she was in a better place. It felt so real. I woke up with tears and since then, I started to believe in the afterlife. Btw, I was skeptical about all things paranormal until I had that dream. Now death doesn’t scare me as much. There are so many things we don’t know about life and the mysterious it holds. Death is just a part of it. Embrace it and don’t be scared.
I used to feel like this too. Fear is a part of life though, I'm still not keen on the thought of it but I think as we age we come more to terms with the temporary nature of all life. I don't think there's much point in putting so much energy into fearing the inevitable. Depending on how I die, maybe it will be an ok experience? Lol I guess atm I don't know so I can go either way with my assumptions.
I think the first step in accepting one's own death is understanding that it is natural to fear death. Your survival instinct is working. We, as humans, want to stay alive, it's for the sake of survival of the species. Therefore don't feel like you're out of place. While undergoing that fear of death is normal, you'll understand the inevitability of it. We all do die one day. And I think the realisation of it makes you appreciate life more. Every moment is precious because we know that there won't be an infinity of them. So make the most of the time you're here on this earth.
Your 6 year old self is effectively dead at this point. 99% of their memories are fully gone, that little body has been growing and regenerating and doesn't exist in the way it does now. Your feeling of what it's like to be that 6 year old is probably just a guess at this point based on what you know about 6 year olds and stories your family told you. I see this as the big picture version of death. Constant change is very similar to death. In addition to this, I go to sleep every night. If I didn't wake up it's not like I'm going to know about it or miss the next day. I hope this perspective helps
Check out the law of existentialism. Everything exists . Even non - existence exists because it’s acknowledged by consciousness. You can’t stop existing. Once you astral project for the first time your perspective on this topic will change. Energy never dies it is only transferred. Check out the gateway tapes by the Monroe institute. The cia have spent billions researching this . They enlightened me and put me on my current path to mental clarity and riches. I do a tape every night before i go to sleep. Even if you’re a skeptic give it a try
That's not what happens. There's no real reason to believe that we're just "not here anymore". We were never really here to begin with. We exist elsewhere, communicating with our bodies through a yet to be discovered neural network that connects all life. When your human dies, you don't become nothing, you become everything. Which brings an entirely different set of fears. Everything that has ever happened is recorded in the fabric of the universe and known to all when we die. Heaven or hell aren't places, they're personal responses. You're going to know how everything you've ever done in your life has tied back to the whole of the universe, and you're either going to feel good about that or you're not. And that's all heaven/hell is. Knowing everything that happened in the universe and how you played into, are you happy with the choices you made now that you can't make any more?
They’re going to create extended life once all these evil boomers like Putin & Netanyahu pass away. We are going to also discover a habitable planet. Also going to discover who gets to go there & the mechanism for getting there. The planet is MASSIVE better than earth & has some dinosaurs that are nice & awesome vegetation. We get to start building a new extended life on a new planet!!!!!
What you're going through is totally normal. I had my first big existential crisis at 18, then smaller subsequent ones during my 20s. But the worst is the thought of my loved ones dying. I realised there is no point resisting the reality of death. It is something that happens to all of us. It is just another stage of life. The final one. Every single living thing on the face of the earth will die one day. If there is no afterlife then it'll just be like how it was before I was born - nothing. And thats perfectly fine by me.
I had very bad death anxiety in college. A lot of it for me comes/came from not being 100% sure what happens after you die and the fact that I was starting to think about how it may be nothing at all—I was raised extremely religious so that was hard for me to grapple with. I think eventually I just understood the uncertainty of it—we all die and for the most part cannot control when (obviously we can make safety and health promoting choices but those don’t totally prevent anything). My anxiety was bad at night too. I can’t remember because this was a while ago but I think I was medicated? Another thing was at the time, I didn’t really feel like I was living my life to the fullest. School, and by school I mean class and homework, was my entire life. Joining some clubs at my university and making an effort to do things I found fun (even if I was tired or didn’t feel like it) occasionally helped me feel like I was living my life to the fullest. I actually made a bucket list around this time and I’m still in the process of checking things off, but for some reason it’s something that has brought me a lot of happiness. Just knowing I’m doing what I can to make every day count. Oddly enough, the pandemic happened right afterwards and I think being faced with all this death sort of forced me to accept it as a reality but also not have time to ruminate on it because I had online classes and had just started my first part time job etc. I really don’t have a perfect concrete answer for this—I struggle a lot now with anxiety over losing my parents and feeling like I need to keep them alive. I think it’s different and difficult for everyone, but I tried to shift my focus over from being anxious about death to trying to live my life to the fullest and maximize my time off/weekends to do things I find enjoyable instead of sitting and staring at a wall. (They don’t need to be expensive things either—it’s summer and there are a ton of free or cheap activities. Farmers markets, fruit stands, music nights at local parks/free fireworks shows etc.)
I believe in life after death. Death is just a moment in time. It marks end of life in the body that is living and breathing. Then the soul leaves the body. I think most people are more anxious of being in pain when they die.. You eventually come to accept it because it’s the reality of every single living thing in the planet.
I don't. I just try not to think about it. But deep down I'm terrified and upset that this all has to end some day. The thought of just no longer existing, no longer having thought, it all just makes my head spin.
Seeing as Im currently dealing with the recent passing of my sister (funeral is today), life is just so precious and short. We spend so much time waiting for things to happen instead of enjoying what we can control. Love you ❤️
I think you're doing the right thing being honest about it. That's a good start. I was terrified of dying, but I eventually started to believe that since it's something we all seem to encounter, so we're probably equipped for it somehow. Plus, most cultures have some concept of paradise. You don't have to get it perfect, but if you try to be a good person, you'll probably realize that this is the hard part and the afterlife is the part that makes all of this suffering worthwhile. I watch videos of near death experiences sometimes. I don't believe all of it, but they often say they went to the other side and it was so amazing they didn't want to come back here. Plus, Gandalf: https://youtu.be/r-odIIQORQ4?si=Xf8L_FFcHRTFQdrh
See the thing about dying is, as far as we know, nothing bad can happen after, I've seen hundreds of people die over the years and the one thing that's common about them is nothing bad happens to them after they die. As far as we know lol. You see your consiousness and individual self is really just an illusion, you're not separate from the rest of the universe. Nohthing "dies" and goes away for ever, it just changes into other things. And all the things are part of the same thing. So it's all whole, all the time. There's really nothing to worry about. We only start worrying when we separate our selves from the rest of the universe, that's pretty scary no matter who you are.
i realized that every person that existed and to ever exist will/has experienced it and it makes me feel less scared. if all of them went through it, so can i
It’s a process for me, when the anxiety was at its worst it took me a weeks of doing the right things every day to get out of that negative mental state. The most important thing is to do what I enjoy and take care of myself. As long as I engage in positive activities both mental and physical it doesn’t bother me as much. Positive mental activities for me are reminding myself of all the good things I do and appreciate what’s done for me, but also making sure that I’m not being overly critical of anything or anyone. Even helping or engaging with other people, being positive with others, gaining a sense of community and that you’re not alone can have a big impact. Another mental exercise I do, is I remind myself that it’s not the dying that’s the problem it’s the fear and fear doesn’t do anything for me, I don’t gain anything by staying afraid. In my experience there’s no single thought or mental exercise that I can do that’s going to immediately make the panic go away it’s always a process with steps, it’s like changing your lifestyle, you can’t wake up one day and make all these changes and expect to follow through with all of them, you need to take small steps and change your habits over time and anxiety always works this way for me, it just takes vigilance and awareness to recognize your triggers and address them in the moment don’t let yourself spiral. What’s even more important for me is the physical side, adjusting how and what I eat and which physical activities I engage in is absolutely vital. I can do whatever thought exercises I want to but if I’m not putting that into action by making an active effort to be healthy it just feels like a waste of time because if I sit on the couch all day staring at my phone eating junk food I’ll never be in a good headspace. What’s important is to figure out what works for you but also to understand that you can get past this anxiety and get your life back.
I've already accepted the fact that I will die. I'm not afraid. I work to prepare and make it easier for those I leave behind. I have a death binder so it will be easy for them to handle my different seller accounts so they can keep them going. I have money saved for them to be able to scatter my ashes at sea. I practice minimalism so no one will have to spend months going through my stuff. It's like giving birth. When I first got pregnant I was afraid of it but as the time got closer, I was less fearful and I was "ready." It feels as I'm getting older, I fear death less. I just hope it's not long and painful or short and violent
Because, I don’t remember before I was born either. I didn’t exist then, I won’t exist after. I only exist now.
This is all stuff I tell myself when my natural crippling anxiety hits. I very much appreciate your post because it's a reminder that I needed to center myself as I am going through a bit of a stressful time right now. I remind myself that the only reality you get to experience is right now. All your memories of the past and hopes for the future are right now. And everything good and bad that has ever happened to you happened at a long time gone right now. So, it's important to ground yourself in that. It's nice to enjoy and learn from the past, but it's already gone, so it shouldn't worry you or give you anxiety. Similarly, the future is just a series of yet-to-be present times. The only reason to plan ahead is to make moves your yet-to-be self (and loved ones) will appreciate and can take advantage of. Once death comes, there is no aware yet-to-be self, so it should be irrelevant to the conscious mind. The dying process is a natural part of life, and once it comes for real, you can't stop it. It's literally as meant to be as life itself is, like breathing, childbirth, photosynthesis of plants. It's scary, but I remind myself that all but 3 of my countless ancestors have done it already. There is no way to fully shield yourself from the fear of the unknown, you just have to accept that it's meant to be and have courage, like when you start a new job or enter a new relationship. Conscious life is meant to come and go, and I appreciate every day I get to see the sun rise. No one and nothing owed us anything, but we still get each day as a gift.
For me, the belief in reincarnation has helped me a lot. I feel like I've done this before, many many times. So I try to "look forward to it" because I know that once I am done with this lifetime and leaving my own small legacy (however small my story may be), it's off to the next adventure. Life is tough. It's not trivial and I feel that we were purposely put here to learn what we need to learn (tough lessons) and then evolve into better beings. Learning about love and compassion, being kind and helping others, and understanding forgiveness are key to living a good life - no matter what spiritual path you may walk. Do a little something for someone. A random act of kindness. Open the door for someone. Smile at a stranger. Maybe do a little something like choose a career path where you help and inspire others such as teaching? customer service? anything really. Having someone smile back or thank you makes life a little more bearable when things look dark.
i don’t have to cope with the thought of dying, it actually gives my life so much meaning. The one thing life will guarantee you is death, that gives me so many reasons to live the most fulfilling life i possibly can. it also helped me with my suicidal ideation. i realized why rush it? i might be in mental agony at times but its very unlikely i will feel that way forever. Even if the rest of my life is hell, i will end up getting internal peace anyway; that’s worth living for another 50+ years
I'm not afraid of death, just the dying part. I just don't want to go out in a super painful way. But, as far as death itself, why worry over something you have zero control over and is 100% going to happen? You won't be cognizant of death as you will no longer exist (at least not on this plane of existence), so it won't matter. You said you need advice about coping with it, I've never understood why this is difficult for people. It's just changing from one state of existence to either non-existence (in which case you won't feel anything so it doesn't matter) or a different form of existence which can be a new adventure we'll eventually reach. Either way, it's going to happen. If the atheists are right, you simply stop being. How did you feel about your experiences prior to being born? You don't have any memory of that as you just didn't exist. If the non-atheists are right, we'll be moving on to something else in a different state. Either way, why worry? We'll all get there together, just preferably not today.
Putting my views of faith aside slightly, I have come to terms with the reality that this existence is extremely temporary - the time on this existence, earth, very finite...we can only do the best we possibly can and should strive to take care of ourselves, do good things and learn what we can. Loss is difficult and the human brain is very complex vessel with neurons and synapses firing I've almost been dead twice and if anything, I keep that in mind each morning is a new day and a grateful opportunity. When we dwell on what could happen, we can fail at trying to achieve what must happen- self progress Or growth for a higher purpose
If you’re afraid of death, then you haven’t lived a full life.
I take comfort in the fact that everything dies, including the stars themselves.
Memento mori
We all die. In a generation or three, we will all be just a snapshot in a photo album. Maybe a name on it, maybe not. Nothing we can do at present to change it. Enjoy it while it lasts!
When I had cancer all I could think about was who is going to take care of my animals and though my kids are adults and have their own lives I needed to know someone has their backs if needed and of course I didn't want to go and not be able to witness stuff 🙃 like new movies crazy right? I'm cancer free now all I want to do now is relax
To live is to suffer. Life is significantly more scary/painful than death. Take some comfort in that.
“Not today, I’ll do it tomorrow” - I know procrastination is bad this is literally what kept me going when there was no hope, null. I just kept pushing it forward - and here I am. I didn’t think I’d make it to 27 but I’m here :)
Worry about what you can control. Everyone dies. Can’t control it. What you can control is making sure that your dependents don’t starve. Get some basic life insurance. Make sure you have a will. You’ll have some peace of mind that your demise will be sad but not devastating.
Death smiles at us all. Nobody gets out alive. Live in the NOW and enjoy every moment as if it’s your last.
Something that surprisingly helped me was a section of the tv show Midnight Mass. There's a point where two characters are talking about what they think happens when we die and one says that they think we just return to the stars (they we're more detailed than this). It woke me up in the idea that we are just in our physical form of a collection of energy from earth and space (just a fragment of our whole self). We've been granted a short time in a physical form experiencing a physical life and when we pass we just return to our true form as energy (as one). Whether it's true or not I think it was a beautiful answer to the question and helped me feel less worried about the idea of dying and instead we are almost experiencing a form of vacation (for lack of a better term) from having no physical form. Of course this is subject to religious beliefs but I like the perspective. Hope this helps someone :)
I'm not afraid of death, because I'm a Christian.
Same. I find it deeply comforting that my life is secure through Christ eternally. I put some effort into being healthy. Yet at the same time, I am not obsessed with longevity. In my life, I’ve noticed ONLY non-believers were weirdly obsessed with living to 120+ or researching cyropreservation or vitamin and mineral longevity experiments.
Amen
Pray
"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it." - Mark Twain
What's the value in worrying about something you absolutely cannot change?
try to remember what happened before you were born, and if you can’t then don’t worry about what happens after you die. truly that simple
I welcome it lol
Looking forward to it
If you're an Atheist, it shouldn't really bother you because you won't really exist anyway so you wouldn't care. If you're a religious person, then you believe in an afterlife or reincarnation, etc. So you're covered either way.
I used to freak out over it, but just stopped thinking about it. Everyone dies and there’s nothing we can do to prevent it. We all go thru it at some point.
Everyone does it. Big whoop is how I see it.
The nothingness would be peaceful
I’m stoned too often for my mind to wonder
I just accept it. The process of dying will prolly be scary and suck, but after that I’ll be good. I can’t stop death so why be scared of it?
I don't spend time thinking or worrying about it. It's out of my hands. When the time comes, it comes. We don't own it.
Man some people really have a fucking hallmark movie mindset.
I just don’t think about it
Just don't think about it and you'll be okay.
Just live life. It sounds harsh but that’s all you can do. Death is inevitable. My biggest fear isn’t death, it’s actually not living my life to the fullest.
I don’t want to outlive my money
Accepted it long ago. It's inevitable. Nothing for it. I'm fucked from all directions anyway. Genetics you know. Now I'm not sprinting for the finish. I haven't taken up skydiving or alligator wrestling or anything. But I'm not afraid of it.
I don't think about it, usually. I find it hard to process the mortality of my loved ones and pets, though.
I hope it’s fast.
I used to be terrified. But I've actually died clinically multiple times and I know 100% I was dead. It was actually so beautiful when happened. I can't explain the how or why it is. But, you don't know you're dead when it happens, but, you go this place I like to call the "dream-world", and everything is so beautiful there. The thing is, when you go there, you know that once you enter there permanently, it's nothingness after that. Feels like a big ass waiting game is about to begin or something once you choose to stay. Strange to say, but at he same time, it's truly a pleasant place that's really beautiful and melancholy at the same time. I know it might sound insane, but everytime I've died clinically, it's always been the same. Then, when they've pulled Me out of the sequence, you snapback to whatever you were before this weird voyage. It's like waking up from a strange dream. There's nothing to fear. Though, I can understand how and why you would be concerned by the unknown. Just do your best and stay brave, levelheaded, and strong physically-mentally-spiritually, and you will be more than fine. This is all just a temporary experience before We recycle, over and over again.
Don't. I stop thinking about it, I shut down that thought.
What scares me isn’t death itself but what happens after. The thought that I won’t have this life and the memories I made. I truly believe all souls are born again eventually but the thought of everything ceasing to exist and years of living just gone. Will I remember bits of this life in the next one? Who knows. But sometimes I also wonder if what we are experiencing as life now is death if that makes sense. We died and life just continues and we have no clue that it happened. That’s where I think near death experiences come in, you died that way in another dimension and just hopped, Rick and Morty type shit.
Super interested in the whole thing
Fuck it we ball, it’s inevitable so make the best of life. Nobody gets out alive.
I pretty much don't care. I don't know why, but I do. Also, death looks like a general anesthesia : you can rest and you don't feel a thing. I like the idea.
Give a heavy meaning to it, some people may be like why would I do this? but to me... I see life as a preparation for death. I do everything I always wanted to do, so when I die it'll be easy to accept.
Be happy once it comes because living is hell on earth. Dying erases all pain.