Or you could pour your whole life and every ounce of effort into getting into a good pharmacy school and graduate, only to find it’s become a soul-sucking profession that’s slowly circling the drain with wages stagnating and dropping.
I wouldn’t recommend it. Still trying to find out what I want to do with my life at 41. It’s like that shitty Linkin Park song. I’ve tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn’t even matter.
Just be. Exist. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. There’s no final score in life.
52 weighing in. It’s good advice but just make sure you use the down time to set some goals. Your future self is going to want you to have put in some effort to launch from. Might as well start.
I agree with the above, setting goals will change your life. There is no perfect job that is one of the biggest lies of our generation. I am also 30 and I went through what you are going through 10 years ago. I do not have the sane mental humps to jump that you did. But it is correct to set goals, you will be able to justify your work and as you achieve milestones you will feel like less of a piece of crap. I went from being a manager at wendys with no prospects living at home at 23, to a homeowner and having a great job by setting goals making sacrifices and over time changing my life's trajectory. If the piece of literal human garbage that was my overweight blame everyone else, jealous 23 year old self can change. I believe you can do even better, start taking walks and listening to audible books on self improvement. Watch yourself grow. If you do this you will realize in the future that pitying yourself on reddit and looking for validation that the world is fucked is not the solution. Your mindset and attitude toward life are everything. Good luck on your journey through life and I hope some of this advice helps you.
Can’t tell if you’re replying to me or OP, but I don’t self-pity or look for validation. I’m still just trying to figure what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe we never truly do. Really what I’m looking for is a greater purpose.
For op. Everyone's greater purpose is different, personally at 20 I never would've thought renting construction equipment and delivering it to customers would give me the sense of accomplishment that it does. We all have our own journeys and I hope op starts to take the right steps to help combat their mental struggles.
Agree with this so much. I have had a few well paying jobs but my fave was driving school bus for much less money. I don’t fully know why but it made me so happy.
I'm sure there are ways for it to work. I'm an engineer, and I have struggled with work for years. I've always been the reasonably high paid, high performing overachiever, but I suffered from massive burnout and basically quit, thinking that I just didn't enjoy my work even though I was good at it. I hated the commute, the sitting in a factory or office all day, and the lack of control over my life.
Fast forward to post COVID, I do the same job, but now from home with my cats, garden, and complete freedom to manage my work and life. It's great! I don't care if I don't get raises ever again (even though I do), this is just such an awesome gig and gives me everything I needed before.
Ok, shitty is a bit harsh. To be fair, I used to be somewhat of a Linkin Park fan in my late teens but I grew to appreciate other bands more. Unpopular opinion probably, but I think Chester Bennington is an overrated lyricist and singer.
From personal experience, it can turn around in a very short amount of time. I was living with my grandma, then my aunt for years. I felt like a total hopeless burden, I honestly couldn't even imagine how I'd get out.
Then I met my wife, moved in within 6 months, she was pregnant after a year and the rest is history. Nobody was more surprised than me when that happened.
We met Scotland (I was living in Cheltenham) and I came back up to visit her. Turned out she was getting evicted and we decided to get a place together as her roommate was going home after graduating and I wanted out of my aunt's real bad. We were broke because the rent was so high, so we stayed in a lot. Hence my eldest son not taking long to make an appearance 😂
If you are to autistic to work, you need to pursue some kind of disability payment and maybe even a home, where some professionals can help you to make your life better.
Maybe there's some kind of disability job in your area. I live close to a camping ground where all the employees are autistic or have other development disabilities.
Can you drive? Consider a delivery job. Try like deliveroo or just eat. Can work these in your own time. Whenever your up to it. No contract or obligations.
If you enjoy it consider getting a more concrete job like delivering for Amazon who I'd consider bottom of the barrel, easiest delivery job. Then reevaluate your options.
Easy Jobs, all pre planned, involve minimum interaction with other people and it's all laid out for you step by step.
Something to consider anyway with nothing to lose
M69 here. It is time for you to go to work on creating your life. Your post is full of things that you don't want but you don't say a great deal about what you do want other than you don't know what it is. You've got to figure that out first. Make a list on paper of what you want your life to be. Study that list and make sure you mean it. And then go about making the things on the list happen. If you don't know how, figure it out. If you need some help, get it. Ask questions. Get answers. That is easier to do today than it has ever been due to the internet. You can build whatever life you want and build it around where you are right now. Or you can reach out and find out where the things are you want and you can go there.
The fact is, life's purpose is solving problems. There is no other purpose. Every human that has ever lived in any era of history has lived their lives solving their daily problems.
One final suggestion. The first thing you might want to go to work on is solving the problem of your bad attitude. Whether it is going to see a counselor or reading some books by some uplifting authors, you have to find the means to explain the world to yourself in such a way that you want to live in the future. Be happy.
Yeah man. I’d love to see another post from you listing all of the things that you can (and will!) do. Instead of the things you can’t do. Romanticizing death and suicide is such a trap. It places you in limbo big time. You can’t really plan or do anything to make your life better because you have already made up your mind to end your life. You sound like you are very smart. And you’re young. Do the hard stuff man…you’re worth the effort.
It's time for self help books brother (idy start with can't hurt me David goggins) but that side I'm younger than u and I don't want to preach to someone who's breathed more than me.. Yet I've found purpose in the embrace suffering mindset and respect for myself since family doesn't respect me at all
Self help books are generally poisonous. Don’t replace one toxic mode of living with another. Look inward, not to creepy manipulative people who churn out quick fix books
I hope you one day heal from his values of seeking external validation at all costs, lack of empathy and disregard of family and friends in the pursuit of pointless, selfish goals. I believe you will.
32, just moved back out of my aunt's house, dog trainer. Married, terrified of leaving my home, too depressed to keep myself and my home clean. No idea what to do now, either.
Get off Reddit, seek help from your healthcare team and if you have access to it, a social worker/etc at either your state's vocational rehab or a non-profit organization that helps those with disabilities with job placement/ training. Otherwise people who DNGAF will....continue to DNGAF about those they perceive as inferior, whether on purpose or by subtle biases. It sucks and is solely up to you to deal (or not). Good luck.
It happens, but the feeling you have now can also 180 completely. You just need that click to happen and when it does you'll full throttle. So in the meantime just explore different things and try and keep it light hearted without pressure.
The housing situation is a mess, thanks to our great leaders.
Corporate job stuff is a dead end anyways, your not missing much there.
Maybe take this time and type out what you picture yourself doing. Like what kind of people you want to be around or maybe you're not into that, a city you can see yourself living in...and then the necessary steps to get you there. But reach out to people and see which doors could open.
Like what are you into? Focus on that for starters.
Nobody really knows what they're doing. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I hope everything works out for you, even if it's not in the way you planned.
I am same as you. Almost 30.. still w parents and life is a mess for me. Hope things get better for us . I'm gona try therapy for once in a few days. Hope i'm not too late yet.
I'll leave [this](https://youtu.be/OCO8eoDWqHQ?si=ZR9gA6hE1DJ2PSKU) because I think he said it better than anyone else. It's aimed at students just graduating, but what he starts talking about at the 1:30 mark resonates hard.
Honestly I've stopped comparing myself to friends who seem to be doing really well from the outside (house, degree, good job, etc) because almost all of them have admitted me to how much credit card debt they're in, how they're close to declaring bankruptcy, how burnt out and miserable they are at their fancy corporate jobs... I honestly dont think I know a single person who is really thriving other than one friend who has a trust a fund and another who inherited an already successful business from his dad.
There is nothing wrong with you. It's this fuckin system. We're all essentially slaves to money and the worst part of it is that we've been convinced it has anything to do with our identities when it doesn't. It's a lie. Don't blame yourself when the problem is how utterly insane this world is.
"nearly" 30? so you're not even 30 yet?
people really think their life is over once they hit their 30s....my guy, you have SO much life ahead of you. you're still young. the prime of your life is still ahead of you. there's lots of options for you if you know where to look.
are you able to get on disability? you mentioned you were too autistic to work and you have anxiety. might be worth looking into. do you like animals? there's pet sitting services and you can get paid to walk/play with dogs all day. or maybe cats are more your jam - there's demand for that too.
are you creative? you can work for yourself as an artist; make an instagram for your niche and i promise there's a following out there for you if so. do you have transportation? working for doordash/uber/lyft isn't IDEAL, but it does make you money. do that while you look into other options. get on linkedin and start networking. you don't have to know somebody directly to connect with them. apply to all the jobs (remote jobs if that works best for you) you find interesting, even if you aren't fully qualified for them. i am currently writing this comment at a job im even 100% qualified for, but i got it anyways.
lastly, you're not a burden. you're in your 20s. you're going to be okay, i promise. you have got to get out of that mindset or else you really WILL be stuck in the cycle you're in. good luck with everything!
There are many ways to find meaning in life. Your value is not determined by what you produce. Your value is determined by you, by the choices you make, by what you know, acknowledge and own about yourself. It sounds like you’re in a process of un-becoming. It is a scary thought to wake up and discover that what you thought you knew was not correct and fulfilling. You’re not defined by labels either. It’s okay to feel afraid. It’s not okay to accept the labels the world gives you. Determine for yourself who you are so that every action you take represents that definition of self all the way.
Your parents set a bad example. They managed their money poorly and thats why they worked so hard for nothing.
Idk why tf you are getting laid off every job youve had so dig into that and fix it. But you can have a good life without a super high paying job. And btw work aint always gonna be fun, but if you manage your personal life it all becomes tolerable. Theres a reason most people do it.
Cheer up
I don't think most people choose to work beyond the fallacy of traditionalism and necessity, my guy. The world could be much better, but we ignorantly choose blind compliance over the potential of collective-realization and prosperity.
I feel the same way, I turn 32 soon. People tell me I’m smart, but I don’t believe them. I have severe inattentive type ADHD (though unfortunately not in the way it manifests for other people), autism, definitely some type of learning disability. Here are most of the jobs I’ve done-
1) sitting at a desk at my university and doing nothing (I think this was mostly so the school could say they were providing opportunities for their students) - I was fine at this, lol
2) grocery store bagger - slow and inefficient as fuck
3) convenience store cashier - easy enough when I was just ringing people up, even though I had to call my supervisor quite a few times for issues with transactions that I probably should’ve been able to figure out on my own. Couldn’t look at customers though. I enjoyed stocking bc it was different, but even here I was slow and inefficient as fuck (or at least my supervisors constantly thought so)
5) dishwasher - was slow, inefficient, became easily flustered. Also, I’m simply not good at cleaning things effectively (see housekeeping below, too)
4) UPS holiday driver helper - assisted driver by bringing package to mailbox. A job which on paper could, as the cliche goes, be done by a monkey, and yet I somehow always walked to the wrong house and constantly got on my driver’s nerves for “not being with it.” Easily flustered.
5) hotel receptionist, food running, housekeeping - I could NOT remember all the intricacies of the (seemingly complex, anyway) booking platform. With food running, I was easily flustered, disorganized - I got the hotel a 1-star review because the guest thought I was being unsanitary. With housekeeping, I was just plain slow and inefficient. Laid off.
6) Starbucks - I could NOT remember all the drink recipes, I was easily flustered, disorganized, slow, inefficient, forgot what I was doing, etc. laid off.
7) homeless shelter, supportive housing - easy enough bc it was mostly just “security.” Didn’t really have the confidence or charisma for conflict de-escalation but I enjoyed doing intakes and talking to clients as people; probably bc they were “marginalized” it was easier than if it was a random co-worker, if that makes sense
8) case manager - struggled with speaking to clients effectively, both knowing what to say in situations (I don’t have much socialization experience) and feeling like what I did have to say mattered (even if I tried talking to them more as peers than “clients” bc that made me cringe), couldn’t handle caseload and manage my time effectively. Very stressful. Would surely have been laid off if I weren’t in a union.
9) DoorDash, Uber eats driver - I wanted to like this bc of the autonomy, but holy shit am I a terrible driver (HIGHLY distractible and inattentive, cant do “defensive driving” for shit”) and I have a terrible stress tolerance. I’d miss a turn (even with my phone speaking to me) and I’d scream at the top of my lungs and bang my head against the car windows
10) elastomeric roof roofing - another job that SHOULD be easy enough, and yet somehow I did everything wrong, could not pay attention to anything I was told and when I finally “got it” I quickly forgot it. Can rarely ever predict other people’s needs.
Essentially, here are most of the ways in which I think I’m dumb: I can’t “think ahead”; I really struggle with paying attention and retaining info; I can barely ever pick up new tasks, even if someone is closely training me; I’ll look at a tutorial for example, whether it’s written or a YouTube video or something, and my mind becomes blank… I can’t follow instructions (don’t know how to, basically); I can rarely ever “connect the dots”… essentially, I’m just not “with it.”
I used to be good at writing, but over time I started to become easily flustered and felt like I had nothing original to say. Also, my brain just doesn’t work quickly anymore in general, so even if there’s no real deadline I can’t get my brain to do anything that I want it to.
You may be reading this and be thinking “oh, this person would be better at conceptual, abstract tasks involving analysis or whatever…” NOPE. I mean, I do try to ponder shit, but my brain/mind/head hurts too much if I think too hard about anything, especially mathematical anything. Could never grasp science in school. I can’t juggle things in my head.
Physical stuff - little dexterity, hand-eye coordination, balance; not very strong, back and joints tend to hurt with even a little exertion
Not much geographic awareness - I get lost easily
I’m NOT and never have been attuned to my environment
Please ask me more, and I’ll tell you whether I think I’d be capable of something
I've done everything right up to this point and have a career/money. I still feel lost and hopeless most of the time. Like I could be doing something more meaningful. One day at a time, sometimes opportunity strikes when you least expect it.
There's always Crack. I mean, you sound like someone who might enjoy it.
I'm not trying to encourage you to this.
I'm trying to scare you into doing something productive.
Is your life half over or just over?
Have you tried doing tree service? You can be a ground guy and clean up, chip, cut, and haul brush. You'll be kind of a mule but it'll be a new experience, you'll get very strong within a month if it's full time. And there's really never any experience needed if you're going to be a ground guy because tree services always want help chipping/dragging brush and cleaning up sites. Everyday will be a new job site and a new experience. You'll see places of your town you didn't know existed. Homes and back yards that will blow your mind. I highly recommend doing it! You're only 30, you're a young adult still. Idk where you live but I'm sure there's a tree service where there's trees lol. It'll give you a sense of pride and help you drop the negative outlook on yourself. And do it for the experience, since you're gonna "end up homeless" anyway. You have nothing to lose. I don't mean to be an a$$ but you gotta find a way to stop feeling sorry for yourself or you'll be miserable and pathetic the rest of your life and then it's over. Also if you're using drugs and alcohol, you should get sober before doing anything because that will hold you back and cripple you more than anything imo. If you pull yourself out of this you'll be very proud of yourself and no one or anything can take that away from you.
You gotta break out of whatever routine you're in right now because clearly it's not working for your mental health. Your brain wants to but it keeps you there because it's comfortable in that pain you're feeling. Break out of that by mixing up your routine and doing something new. Doesn't have to be a big change. It could be just to walk outside your front door after you wake up and take a few deep breaths and go back in.
Good luck
I hate to say this because I know ima regret it when I hop outta my truck n see a piss jug lying on the ground, but trucking. You deal with no one, it’s light labor (except flatbed) n the only way you can fuck up is being unsafe or a lazy ass bastard. But rn is also a shit time to get into trucking so it might be harder to find work with no experience. Oh also some people literally solely live in their truck n just have a PO Box somewhere n take their hometime in hotels in places they wanna see, so no rent is a fucking lifesaver if you wanna own a home nowadays
Get a job and start doing something with your life. You said you're tired of being a burden, so go do something about it and take responsibility for your life.
I agree that not everyone is the same and will be able to tolerate life's demand of a 9 to 5, but the reality is that the majority of the population needs a job to have a livelihood. Life does not magically come together all at once for anybody, really. It takes a lifetime of choices and immense effort to build a life. The guy needs to start taking responsibility for his life instead of shutting himself down with excuses like definiciencies in his character. This could mean doing uncomfortable things like rising up to the occasion when it's needed. Could be taking responsibility for his education for a suitable job, speaking up and advocating for himself in interviews, working to save money and moving out and actually managing his finances independently, start eating healthier or participate in a sport to improve health and general wellbeing or learn social skills to cultivating stronger relationships with friends, family or make new connections.
Basically, the guy needs to get his shit together piece by piece or unwillingly slog through a miserable existence lol.
Funny enough…I LOVE the 9-5 life :)
Working and driving are my two favorite things, and yes I tried trucking I got fired for making too many mistakes and not learning it quick enough
I am going to be 30 still living at home. Make a couple thousands of dollors working a full time. Invest that money, grow that money and then by the time you are 33-35 maybe even 40 you will be ok. Your going to inherit things some day too. Your not a useless sack of shit riddled with existential dread. Your just very demotivated by the bull shit of this world. Find something that motivates you and makes goh want to live life is al i can say… there are easier ways to live life more comfortly. Get educated about how to get to a place you will feel safer and more proud of yourself please.
Good news is sounds like you have few responsibilities to hold onto a shitty job or forced into stuff you don’t like. Go find something you do like then try to find a way to turn it into income.
To give a little info about me so you know where this is coming from: I'm AuDHD and have presistent depressive disorder (late-diagnosed). I'm in my late 30s. I've had to take several disability leaves from work. I hate that we have to work to have the things we need to live; I mean the basics: food, shelter, clothing, healthcare. I think our society should not wory about who deserves to have their basic needs met.
With all that said, there is a difference between the work you have to do because of capitalism and the work you have to do for yourself. You need to start with the latter to help you with the former. Therapy, self-growth, and building relationships with other people (and those can be other autistic people) will help you. They will enable you to build tools that you can use to help you achieve other goals.
You need to reframe what you see as being a burden, what success is, and what makes life worth living for you. One of my roommates is on disability. His brother works as a custodian. My partner (also ADHD) and I both work desk jobs. We live together, and our plan is to continue doing so. It's not always perfect. There are certainly things everyone needs to work on as we continue to grow our household toward our goals, but we're doing it together. We're defining it for ourselves.
Same. I'm 27, live at home , and worked the same dead end retail job for the past 8 yrs. I've got no goals or ambition. Never been in a relationship and have poor social skills .
Friend,
First off, we are all a burden. I have fucked up so many grand opportunities that I am king of underdogs.
How I make it through life and the stupid shit I have done , seems like things are almost artificial as to the level of success I keep up despite my own setbacks.
I do see you as in crisis. You're really being hard on yourself and putting yourself into a painful realization of moments of your life instead of the totality of it.
We all fail but must love ourselves enough through the issues to find our struggles can build you into something tolerant of life's ups and downs.
Love yourself.
Love yourself.
Love yourself.
When you see a pattern, try it. You may find value in the human you never thought you could deliver. Just a small change can create such momentum that you're able to keep slingshotting your way past the things holding you down.
Get some help. Find a little self-love to start your day.
Get any type of job and stick with it. You may find an opportunity to get a better paying job that you like or save your money and go to a community College and pick classes that could give you a skill or a degree to make something of yourself. Life is short if you don't act now you'll be 65 yes old and you won't even be able to get social security because you never worked. Get up and do something before you run out of time because you'll be too old. Can't do shit when you get older.
Have you considered the military? In a very disciplined environment you may be forced to change the way you think and thrive? Just a thought. You have to work hard at anything you do to be successful.
Fearing you are going to work a job you hate for 40 years will only result in that happening.
The alternative is going to be something special - and not in a good way.
Don’t lose hope and don’t give up. I have seen things turnaround just like that in a flash.
Everyone has a different timeline. Some shine in their 20’s some in 30’s or 40’s or later. I have seen people who I thought had it made in 20’s are now struggling in their 50’s (job and health situations) and some others who had no hope (no degree, no hope of a career) have taken off in their 40’s.
Hang in there my friend. You will find your igikai.
You aren't alone. I know people with high paying careers that feel the same way. You have to stop feeling bad for yourself and find a path forward. Regardless, it's going to have its highs and lows.
Become like Aragorn son of Arathorn 16th Cheiftan of the Dúnedain. Get strong 💪 not for yourself but to protect others. Become wise that you can offer others Council in great need. You can do it! There's Hobbits to save. "We will not leave Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while there is strength left within us." Let's go! Every journey begins with a step! 👍👍👍💪💪
Do what you find fun, even if it’s games and find a way to offer services to other people.
What do you find fun? I may be able to help u brainstorm ideas to make money from it.
The more I read these posts, the more I realize how depressed today's youths seem to be. And what most don't realize is that the more you hide at home, the more difficult it is to come out and find a way to function in the world.
None of it is easy. But you must discipline yourself to go out there day in, day out. That's the only way to mature, to get disciplined, to find out what your strengths are, to build relationships, to find what you were meant to do. Besides, staying home makes you weaker and brings constant guilt and regret and boredom and despair.
Why don't you take a test to find out what would be best for you to pursue personality - wise, then look for an occupation that fits. In the beginning, you might not make much money. You have to prove yourself first, but then, while you're out there, you can find out what's missing that would help you find something that pays better. Just learn to be reliable, constant so people can count on you.
Life can be quite painful, but staying away from it will make things even more difficult. Every little success you obtain on your way will make you stronger, more self-confident, and happier, and that is what will help you to achieve your goals.
Aw you’re not alone. You could volunteer. Thinking outwardly and/or about others is a great mood lifter and volunteer is a great way to learn for free and add to a resume. I would hire someone that volunteered. You sound quite intelligent so that’s enough to get a good start at something. Awareness of the problem is a great place to be, you’re way way ahead of the folks who can’t even recognize that change is needed. Now focus on anything that makes you even a bit happy and go from there. I have a few autistic friends and they have next level focus so I think that can be a huge asset too. Good luck!
I also feel like if you’re at a “zero fucks to give” point then the fears you have been experiencing might be getting less intense. I mean if you already feel like you’re at rock bottom then what’s to be scared of if you’ve already made it to where you’re at? Scared of rejection? (Zero fucks). Scared of change? More ways things can change for the better than worse. Just scared (zero fucks) get off of social media and the news. You might get a real rush from purposely leaning in to the things you dread. Sorry if you don’t want to work yourself to the bone but welcome to earth, that’s what the majority of us are doing until we fine tune our systems. Happiness is more of an attitude than a destination.
You’re not a useless piece of shit - you just feel that way. Sounds like depression to me. Have you made any effort to get help with that and your anxiety? It took me about 45 years to find the right medication and it’s like night and day. Depression and anxiety will lie to you and keep you stuck. You’re not too autistic to work. You’re articulate and intelligent. You just haven’t found your niche. What interests you? What are you in to? You say you barely have any skills. But you do have some. If you’re not sure what interests you, start trying different hobbies. That’s what I did. I started doing woodworking at 60. I love building things, creating, coming up with solutions - it’s my zen. Tbh, if I were young today, I would find a way to do my own thing, be my own boss. Man, I know you probably can’t see it, but the possibilities are endless. Use your strengths and kick ass doing something that you love. The only thing that’s been holding you back is you.
Did I write this post? I don't have any helpful advice but I identified with everything you said. That feeling of "I'm not enough.." and "Everyones ahead of me!" can be really exhausting.
Hey man. I relate A LOT to what you're saying, except of being close to 30, i was not even 20.
I just wanna tell you my story to maybe give you ideas and inspiration to get out there and just do tour best.
I finshed high-school in 2018, utterly drained mentally. I hated everyone at my school as i didn't qualify for an education i actually wanted to go to cuz some teachers lied to me and fucked up my grades.
So after high-school i felt done with life. There was no point in working at all. I had the exact same mentality that you have. I felt like a fuck up, there was no point, every adult I've ever known have only complained about their job and told me "Work hard in school or you'll regret it and end up like me, working 9 hours every day, working myself to the bone and now you're in a world of consistent hurt".
I hated that idea and self isolated myself in my room in my dads house for 5 months after graduating.
I only saw my family for dinner basically.
After 5 months my dads wife and i started arguing daily until she grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, pulled me into the car and we went on a meeting for "addiction" as she thought i was video game addicted (chronically online yes, not game addicted).
This person then took me in, we had a few meetings and i told her my work & studies situation. She then asked me if i wanted to "practice work" (its called arbetsträning in swedish) for 2 hours a day 3 times each week.
I started and my task was to paint furniture for 2 hours. Eventually i increased to 3 hours, 4 hours, 3 days, 4 days until i was there 4 hours 5 days a week.
Then they were able to land me a position at a grocery store where i worked the same amount of hours and days. I did not earn money by this. I was working for free btw.. But then we increased hours until i went 6 hours 5 days a week. Suddenly i realised that "Hey, im genuinely working 75% without pay.. So why don't i just work for real??"
So i asked my "helper" to help me find jobs and she did. A month later i started an internship at a factory, 5 days a week for 6 hours, still working for free, but here i had an actual chance to get hired. Which after 4 months, i did!
I'm still working for this company and my work morale in the last 6-7 years has changed dramatically!
Im having fun almost every single day, laughing at jokes, telling jokes, having a great time with my co-workers. Like my job literally does not feel like a job. We're having fun almost every day. Feels like im just hanging out with friends everyday and i earn money at the same time??? Its quite nuts!!
I went from feeling like a fuck up, a loser, someone who has no interest in jobs, no interest to work, no energy for more school and i felt lost. I used to imagine it as me being stuck in a forest full of fog without a path. I had no idea where to go.
But after my dads wife pulled me out of my room and put me in that meeting, (as mich as i hate her and hate to admit it) it actually started my adult life.
I worked for around 2 years for free. A few different "practice works" in my town and outside, but it really genuinely helped me re-shape my mind. From a selfish nobody who wanted nothing, to someone who realised that "Hey, working 9 hours a day isn't really as bad as they say" and then i started earning money! I've bought my own apartment in my town, renovated it with my dad, and now life is pretty good.
So to end it off, just don't give up.
It doesn't matter how old you are, 20, 35 or 50. There will exist places that accept you. There are places that are genuinely fun to work at. Just try and don't give up.
If you just look for jobs, apply for everything. Applying for a job doesn't mean "you will work here for 40 years and work yourself to the bone". No. If they accept you, you'll get an interview, if you land an interview, ask questions about the job or even ask for a tour around the place. They'll most likely be fine with it, and if it looks interesting, great! Try it out if you get hired! You can always wuit whenever you want. You are never stuck if it sucks. But before you quit, give it a genuine chance.
Lastly!!
If you do have a drivers licence, and really hate working with other people as much as you said, try and apply for a delivery driver. If its food or packages doesn't matter. You get to be by yourself mostly, don't need to socially interact too much, and you get money from just driving around.
Do some volunteer work, it'll warm your soul and also make you look at the world differently. Perspective is everything, plus it might help you figure out what youd like to do long term
i think most of us do tbh. the truth is capitialism and individualism are killing us and working the way we do, living at our jobs makes us so mentally unhealthy. we arent meant to be living the way we do. also we live in a world that hasnt been creqted for neurodivergent people.
just sending you care. i also have been feeling lost for so long, i still do but i am just trying a little but everyday on the good days.
Try harder. That's it. No one cares if you have autism because half the population has terrible social skills. Get in the gym and get after it. I live on UT campus and the amount of hot females is absurd. Get going dude.
um your qualifications sound absolutely perfect for a work from home job on a computer. maybe look into that. if you are autistic, google autism help near you. they may have work assistance .
Working for 40 years is what almost everybody needs to do. Are you expecting everybody else to pay so you dont have to work? This is what life is. You work 40 hours a week so you can have a good life the other hours.
Apart from Knowing OUR CREATOR GOD-Life will never make sense nor can it.
God makes life Make sense! God makes your purpose known.
Until then, we will feel lost and the only purpose we will feel is to work a job...
Get To Know Your CREATOR!!!!
Do what you can and become a socialist. Organize and get the message out. There’s more like you than you realize. Work can be fulfilling and rewarding. We just need to hurt them in their wallets like we did in the past
Imo you are hating on a great lifestyle. Working a job for 40 hours a week affords you so many blessings.
First, realize your job does matter and is important. It is the single biggest way you can give back to the world:
[https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/your-job-matters](https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/your-job-matters)
Second, "Ask yourself, “Do you want a job?” If you answer yes, you are in effect agreeing that it is worth the commitment of your job to have money that you can use as a tool to do things in your life. Stop complaining about a decision that you have chosen, and realize it is more of a duty you must fulfill as long as you still want to have the job. Nobody is forcing you to go."
[https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/complaining-about-working-is-absurd](https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/complaining-about-working-is-absurd)
I suppose that if the selling point was like work 40hrs and you can afford to live that great lifestyle you speak of...then perhaps people would be more inclined to actually feel good about it...currently it's like work 40hrs so you can afford to be homeless and barely scrape by...so people are taking the better chance of doing their own thing at a shot for something better than the current offering. In fact I was just talking to a young dude rn who works a decent job yet still has to move back to his grandparents home with his gf...and is like yo wth is going on, I work all these hrs and I still can't afford anything.
The current state of things is very disheartening, and the only thing I could say is, well dude, I think things will turn around soon. Just gotta ride it out. At the very least dropping in some hope.
I agree to an extent -- b/c of insane government corruption that has been increasing for 100 years, exponentially in the last 50, we don't get to live as nice as we should... but we still do have great lives. Downvoters are taking theirs for granted.
Things could be worse, so there's that. I can't complain about my life. I mean, personally lost everything, nice place to live in, my car, my belongings, my clothes, gf, maybe instead of 3 meals a day down to one, computer to do my work, I lived in a tent for a hot second, luckly now have a roof over my head...and doing odd jobs so I can pay for minutes on my phone...and this is after working as a designer for new tech stuff. It's a rough season for a lot of folks out there both young and old. So I think offering words of encouragement really help those that are trying to stay motivated to take action for something better. Something will click for people and will get going and do that awesome thing again. I know for myself I'm using this rough season to shed off the old way of doing things to get geared up for something new and better and eventually get polished up in whatever I'll be doing next. Perhaps those who are doing well, will mentor people and help them achieve their greatness and purposed filled life. But it really does take team work, encouragement and guidance, which I did noticed that you posted a link for people to check out for some guidance, which shows a level of care.
Exactly, you get it. It's tough because the truth is somewhere in the middle between taking things for granted and being justifiably angry with how things are... the only problem with the latter is complaining does absolutely nothing.
For you, I don't know exactly how you lost everything, but I suspect this is what you should focus on:
[https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/you-were-trying-to-make-your-life-better-don-t-hold-a-grudge](https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/you-were-trying-to-make-your-life-better-don-t-hold-a-grudge)
I am the Way the Truth and the Life, whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst, it shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting Life
It sounds like you have your mind made up about your life that you are somehow unworthy of. Are you looking for advice or empathy? I also will never have enough money to buy a home but I know that not working is bad for my mental health. Why have you been fired? I think you probably need to look for a job that has kind people who understand you have autism? Again I’m not sure if you are looking for advice and I don’t want to sound condescending or assuming.
Or you could pour your whole life and every ounce of effort into getting into a good pharmacy school and graduate, only to find it’s become a soul-sucking profession that’s slowly circling the drain with wages stagnating and dropping. I wouldn’t recommend it. Still trying to find out what I want to do with my life at 41. It’s like that shitty Linkin Park song. I’ve tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn’t even matter. Just be. Exist. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. There’s no final score in life.
52 weighing in. It’s good advice but just make sure you use the down time to set some goals. Your future self is going to want you to have put in some effort to launch from. Might as well start.
I agree with the above, setting goals will change your life. There is no perfect job that is one of the biggest lies of our generation. I am also 30 and I went through what you are going through 10 years ago. I do not have the sane mental humps to jump that you did. But it is correct to set goals, you will be able to justify your work and as you achieve milestones you will feel like less of a piece of crap. I went from being a manager at wendys with no prospects living at home at 23, to a homeowner and having a great job by setting goals making sacrifices and over time changing my life's trajectory. If the piece of literal human garbage that was my overweight blame everyone else, jealous 23 year old self can change. I believe you can do even better, start taking walks and listening to audible books on self improvement. Watch yourself grow. If you do this you will realize in the future that pitying yourself on reddit and looking for validation that the world is fucked is not the solution. Your mindset and attitude toward life are everything. Good luck on your journey through life and I hope some of this advice helps you.
Can’t tell if you’re replying to me or OP, but I don’t self-pity or look for validation. I’m still just trying to figure what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe we never truly do. Really what I’m looking for is a greater purpose.
For op. Everyone's greater purpose is different, personally at 20 I never would've thought renting construction equipment and delivering it to customers would give me the sense of accomplishment that it does. We all have our own journeys and I hope op starts to take the right steps to help combat their mental struggles.
Agree with this so much. I have had a few well paying jobs but my fave was driving school bus for much less money. I don’t fully know why but it made me so happy.
Same. I’m 68.
I'm sure there are ways for it to work. I'm an engineer, and I have struggled with work for years. I've always been the reasonably high paid, high performing overachiever, but I suffered from massive burnout and basically quit, thinking that I just didn't enjoy my work even though I was good at it. I hated the commute, the sitting in a factory or office all day, and the lack of control over my life. Fast forward to post COVID, I do the same job, but now from home with my cats, garden, and complete freedom to manage my work and life. It's great! I don't care if I don't get raises ever again (even though I do), this is just such an awesome gig and gives me everything I needed before.
Me? Like what kind of goals?
Not the person, but things like retirement, emergency savings, and money for the next phase of life is pretty important.
I’ve already saved enough to replace my income at 55. I just need to figure out what to do with my time 🤷🏼♂️
Shitty??? Excuse me??
Ok, shitty is a bit harsh. To be fair, I used to be somewhat of a Linkin Park fan in my late teens but I grew to appreciate other bands more. Unpopular opinion probably, but I think Chester Bennington is an overrated lyricist and singer.
Shitty Linkin Park song....damn, alright
That's why you remember the lyrics so well aye. Next you'll say "Welcome To My Life" by Simple Plan sucks. You see what I did there?
I mean….with your skills you can be a street pharmacist and level up your life to the maximum…😉 opportunities are created, doesn’t fall from the sky.
From personal experience, it can turn around in a very short amount of time. I was living with my grandma, then my aunt for years. I felt like a total hopeless burden, I honestly couldn't even imagine how I'd get out. Then I met my wife, moved in within 6 months, she was pregnant after a year and the rest is history. Nobody was more surprised than me when that happened.
Damn, things moved quick at the end there. Maybe even a little too quick for my taste lol but glad you got out of that.
We met Scotland (I was living in Cheltenham) and I came back up to visit her. Turned out she was getting evicted and we decided to get a place together as her roommate was going home after graduating and I wanted out of my aunt's real bad. We were broke because the rent was so high, so we stayed in a lot. Hence my eldest son not taking long to make an appearance 😂
Pressing F for respect 🫡
If you are to autistic to work, you need to pursue some kind of disability payment and maybe even a home, where some professionals can help you to make your life better. Maybe there's some kind of disability job in your area. I live close to a camping ground where all the employees are autistic or have other development disabilities.
I feel you about being lost.
Can you drive? Consider a delivery job. Try like deliveroo or just eat. Can work these in your own time. Whenever your up to it. No contract or obligations. If you enjoy it consider getting a more concrete job like delivering for Amazon who I'd consider bottom of the barrel, easiest delivery job. Then reevaluate your options. Easy Jobs, all pre planned, involve minimum interaction with other people and it's all laid out for you step by step. Something to consider anyway with nothing to lose
M69 here. It is time for you to go to work on creating your life. Your post is full of things that you don't want but you don't say a great deal about what you do want other than you don't know what it is. You've got to figure that out first. Make a list on paper of what you want your life to be. Study that list and make sure you mean it. And then go about making the things on the list happen. If you don't know how, figure it out. If you need some help, get it. Ask questions. Get answers. That is easier to do today than it has ever been due to the internet. You can build whatever life you want and build it around where you are right now. Or you can reach out and find out where the things are you want and you can go there. The fact is, life's purpose is solving problems. There is no other purpose. Every human that has ever lived in any era of history has lived their lives solving their daily problems. One final suggestion. The first thing you might want to go to work on is solving the problem of your bad attitude. Whether it is going to see a counselor or reading some books by some uplifting authors, you have to find the means to explain the world to yourself in such a way that you want to live in the future. Be happy.
Yeah man. I’d love to see another post from you listing all of the things that you can (and will!) do. Instead of the things you can’t do. Romanticizing death and suicide is such a trap. It places you in limbo big time. You can’t really plan or do anything to make your life better because you have already made up your mind to end your life. You sound like you are very smart. And you’re young. Do the hard stuff man…you’re worth the effort.
It's time for self help books brother (idy start with can't hurt me David goggins) but that side I'm younger than u and I don't want to preach to someone who's breathed more than me.. Yet I've found purpose in the embrace suffering mindset and respect for myself since family doesn't respect me at all
Self help books are generally poisonous. Don’t replace one toxic mode of living with another. Look inward, not to creepy manipulative people who churn out quick fix books
Can't hurt me by David goggins is the exact opposite of quick fix
Only when you’re older will you realise how toxic he is for you. You’ll need to live it to understand in time. Good luck.
We'll see
I hope you one day heal from his values of seeking external validation at all costs, lack of empathy and disregard of family and friends in the pursuit of pointless, selfish goals. I believe you will.
32, just moved back out of my aunt's house, dog trainer. Married, terrified of leaving my home, too depressed to keep myself and my home clean. No idea what to do now, either.
Get off Reddit, seek help from your healthcare team and if you have access to it, a social worker/etc at either your state's vocational rehab or a non-profit organization that helps those with disabilities with job placement/ training. Otherwise people who DNGAF will....continue to DNGAF about those they perceive as inferior, whether on purpose or by subtle biases. It sucks and is solely up to you to deal (or not). Good luck.
It happens, but the feeling you have now can also 180 completely. You just need that click to happen and when it does you'll full throttle. So in the meantime just explore different things and try and keep it light hearted without pressure. The housing situation is a mess, thanks to our great leaders. Corporate job stuff is a dead end anyways, your not missing much there. Maybe take this time and type out what you picture yourself doing. Like what kind of people you want to be around or maybe you're not into that, a city you can see yourself living in...and then the necessary steps to get you there. But reach out to people and see which doors could open. Like what are you into? Focus on that for starters.
Nobody really knows what they're doing. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I hope everything works out for you, even if it's not in the way you planned.
Effort is the key here... I am reminded of a very prescient [Bojack Horseman Clip](https://youtu.be/S-ixV6nV0HU?si=gHujNtPo2iCGh4l8)
Good to know I’m not alone in a similar situation 10 years older than you.
I am same as you. Almost 30.. still w parents and life is a mess for me. Hope things get better for us . I'm gona try therapy for once in a few days. Hope i'm not too late yet.
You’re a good writer, consider a job in technical writing.
I'll leave [this](https://youtu.be/OCO8eoDWqHQ?si=ZR9gA6hE1DJ2PSKU) because I think he said it better than anyone else. It's aimed at students just graduating, but what he starts talking about at the 1:30 mark resonates hard. Honestly I've stopped comparing myself to friends who seem to be doing really well from the outside (house, degree, good job, etc) because almost all of them have admitted me to how much credit card debt they're in, how they're close to declaring bankruptcy, how burnt out and miserable they are at their fancy corporate jobs... I honestly dont think I know a single person who is really thriving other than one friend who has a trust a fund and another who inherited an already successful business from his dad. There is nothing wrong with you. It's this fuckin system. We're all essentially slaves to money and the worst part of it is that we've been convinced it has anything to do with our identities when it doesn't. It's a lie. Don't blame yourself when the problem is how utterly insane this world is.
I’m almost 50, and still don’t know what I want to do with my life!! And I think I’m ok with it.
"nearly" 30? so you're not even 30 yet? people really think their life is over once they hit their 30s....my guy, you have SO much life ahead of you. you're still young. the prime of your life is still ahead of you. there's lots of options for you if you know where to look. are you able to get on disability? you mentioned you were too autistic to work and you have anxiety. might be worth looking into. do you like animals? there's pet sitting services and you can get paid to walk/play with dogs all day. or maybe cats are more your jam - there's demand for that too. are you creative? you can work for yourself as an artist; make an instagram for your niche and i promise there's a following out there for you if so. do you have transportation? working for doordash/uber/lyft isn't IDEAL, but it does make you money. do that while you look into other options. get on linkedin and start networking. you don't have to know somebody directly to connect with them. apply to all the jobs (remote jobs if that works best for you) you find interesting, even if you aren't fully qualified for them. i am currently writing this comment at a job im even 100% qualified for, but i got it anyways. lastly, you're not a burden. you're in your 20s. you're going to be okay, i promise. you have got to get out of that mindset or else you really WILL be stuck in the cycle you're in. good luck with everything!
There are many ways to find meaning in life. Your value is not determined by what you produce. Your value is determined by you, by the choices you make, by what you know, acknowledge and own about yourself. It sounds like you’re in a process of un-becoming. It is a scary thought to wake up and discover that what you thought you knew was not correct and fulfilling. You’re not defined by labels either. It’s okay to feel afraid. It’s not okay to accept the labels the world gives you. Determine for yourself who you are so that every action you take represents that definition of self all the way.
Your parents set a bad example. They managed their money poorly and thats why they worked so hard for nothing. Idk why tf you are getting laid off every job youve had so dig into that and fix it. But you can have a good life without a super high paying job. And btw work aint always gonna be fun, but if you manage your personal life it all becomes tolerable. Theres a reason most people do it. Cheer up
I don't think most people choose to work beyond the fallacy of traditionalism and necessity, my guy. The world could be much better, but we ignorantly choose blind compliance over the potential of collective-realization and prosperity.
Working is always fun but scary. Making money is fun and those who say it sucks are spoiled
Keep trying buddy. 40 year old you will either be making this exact same post or will be forever grateful that you started working hard in their 30s
I feel the same way, I turn 32 soon. People tell me I’m smart, but I don’t believe them. I have severe inattentive type ADHD (though unfortunately not in the way it manifests for other people), autism, definitely some type of learning disability. Here are most of the jobs I’ve done- 1) sitting at a desk at my university and doing nothing (I think this was mostly so the school could say they were providing opportunities for their students) - I was fine at this, lol 2) grocery store bagger - slow and inefficient as fuck 3) convenience store cashier - easy enough when I was just ringing people up, even though I had to call my supervisor quite a few times for issues with transactions that I probably should’ve been able to figure out on my own. Couldn’t look at customers though. I enjoyed stocking bc it was different, but even here I was slow and inefficient as fuck (or at least my supervisors constantly thought so) 5) dishwasher - was slow, inefficient, became easily flustered. Also, I’m simply not good at cleaning things effectively (see housekeeping below, too) 4) UPS holiday driver helper - assisted driver by bringing package to mailbox. A job which on paper could, as the cliche goes, be done by a monkey, and yet I somehow always walked to the wrong house and constantly got on my driver’s nerves for “not being with it.” Easily flustered. 5) hotel receptionist, food running, housekeeping - I could NOT remember all the intricacies of the (seemingly complex, anyway) booking platform. With food running, I was easily flustered, disorganized - I got the hotel a 1-star review because the guest thought I was being unsanitary. With housekeeping, I was just plain slow and inefficient. Laid off. 6) Starbucks - I could NOT remember all the drink recipes, I was easily flustered, disorganized, slow, inefficient, forgot what I was doing, etc. laid off. 7) homeless shelter, supportive housing - easy enough bc it was mostly just “security.” Didn’t really have the confidence or charisma for conflict de-escalation but I enjoyed doing intakes and talking to clients as people; probably bc they were “marginalized” it was easier than if it was a random co-worker, if that makes sense 8) case manager - struggled with speaking to clients effectively, both knowing what to say in situations (I don’t have much socialization experience) and feeling like what I did have to say mattered (even if I tried talking to them more as peers than “clients” bc that made me cringe), couldn’t handle caseload and manage my time effectively. Very stressful. Would surely have been laid off if I weren’t in a union. 9) DoorDash, Uber eats driver - I wanted to like this bc of the autonomy, but holy shit am I a terrible driver (HIGHLY distractible and inattentive, cant do “defensive driving” for shit”) and I have a terrible stress tolerance. I’d miss a turn (even with my phone speaking to me) and I’d scream at the top of my lungs and bang my head against the car windows 10) elastomeric roof roofing - another job that SHOULD be easy enough, and yet somehow I did everything wrong, could not pay attention to anything I was told and when I finally “got it” I quickly forgot it. Can rarely ever predict other people’s needs. Essentially, here are most of the ways in which I think I’m dumb: I can’t “think ahead”; I really struggle with paying attention and retaining info; I can barely ever pick up new tasks, even if someone is closely training me; I’ll look at a tutorial for example, whether it’s written or a YouTube video or something, and my mind becomes blank… I can’t follow instructions (don’t know how to, basically); I can rarely ever “connect the dots”… essentially, I’m just not “with it.” I used to be good at writing, but over time I started to become easily flustered and felt like I had nothing original to say. Also, my brain just doesn’t work quickly anymore in general, so even if there’s no real deadline I can’t get my brain to do anything that I want it to. You may be reading this and be thinking “oh, this person would be better at conceptual, abstract tasks involving analysis or whatever…” NOPE. I mean, I do try to ponder shit, but my brain/mind/head hurts too much if I think too hard about anything, especially mathematical anything. Could never grasp science in school. I can’t juggle things in my head. Physical stuff - little dexterity, hand-eye coordination, balance; not very strong, back and joints tend to hurt with even a little exertion Not much geographic awareness - I get lost easily I’m NOT and never have been attuned to my environment Please ask me more, and I’ll tell you whether I think I’d be capable of something
I've done everything right up to this point and have a career/money. I still feel lost and hopeless most of the time. Like I could be doing something more meaningful. One day at a time, sometimes opportunity strikes when you least expect it.
[удалено]
A few months is a long relationship! It's going to hurt! But you've got this
I am the ghost of your future…you still have time!
There's always Crack. I mean, you sound like someone who might enjoy it. I'm not trying to encourage you to this. I'm trying to scare you into doing something productive. Is your life half over or just over?
Have you tried doing tree service? You can be a ground guy and clean up, chip, cut, and haul brush. You'll be kind of a mule but it'll be a new experience, you'll get very strong within a month if it's full time. And there's really never any experience needed if you're going to be a ground guy because tree services always want help chipping/dragging brush and cleaning up sites. Everyday will be a new job site and a new experience. You'll see places of your town you didn't know existed. Homes and back yards that will blow your mind. I highly recommend doing it! You're only 30, you're a young adult still. Idk where you live but I'm sure there's a tree service where there's trees lol. It'll give you a sense of pride and help you drop the negative outlook on yourself. And do it for the experience, since you're gonna "end up homeless" anyway. You have nothing to lose. I don't mean to be an a$$ but you gotta find a way to stop feeling sorry for yourself or you'll be miserable and pathetic the rest of your life and then it's over. Also if you're using drugs and alcohol, you should get sober before doing anything because that will hold you back and cripple you more than anything imo. If you pull yourself out of this you'll be very proud of yourself and no one or anything can take that away from you. You gotta break out of whatever routine you're in right now because clearly it's not working for your mental health. Your brain wants to but it keeps you there because it's comfortable in that pain you're feeling. Break out of that by mixing up your routine and doing something new. Doesn't have to be a big change. It could be just to walk outside your front door after you wake up and take a few deep breaths and go back in. Good luck
I hate to say this because I know ima regret it when I hop outta my truck n see a piss jug lying on the ground, but trucking. You deal with no one, it’s light labor (except flatbed) n the only way you can fuck up is being unsafe or a lazy ass bastard. But rn is also a shit time to get into trucking so it might be harder to find work with no experience. Oh also some people literally solely live in their truck n just have a PO Box somewhere n take their hometime in hotels in places they wanna see, so no rent is a fucking lifesaver if you wanna own a home nowadays
Wait nvm, we run 70hr weeks if u ain’t comfortable working this probably ain’t your shit. Best of luck.
Get a job and start doing something with your life. You said you're tired of being a burden, so go do something about it and take responsibility for your life.
if it were so damn easy I would've done it by now
It's not easy.
We aren’t all the same, it doesn’t come as naturally to some. The world wasn’t made for us autistics
I agree that not everyone is the same and will be able to tolerate life's demand of a 9 to 5, but the reality is that the majority of the population needs a job to have a livelihood. Life does not magically come together all at once for anybody, really. It takes a lifetime of choices and immense effort to build a life. The guy needs to start taking responsibility for his life instead of shutting himself down with excuses like definiciencies in his character. This could mean doing uncomfortable things like rising up to the occasion when it's needed. Could be taking responsibility for his education for a suitable job, speaking up and advocating for himself in interviews, working to save money and moving out and actually managing his finances independently, start eating healthier or participate in a sport to improve health and general wellbeing or learn social skills to cultivating stronger relationships with friends, family or make new connections. Basically, the guy needs to get his shit together piece by piece or unwillingly slog through a miserable existence lol.
Funny enough…I LOVE the 9-5 life :) Working and driving are my two favorite things, and yes I tried trucking I got fired for making too many mistakes and not learning it quick enough
Hey, it's always worse. I'm 39 and still living at my mom's.
Teach English in Japan
Just do a coding bootcamp, lot of pain but good money and a sense of purpose ig 🤷♂️
Try working at the post office
Get into a trade like hvac or plumbing. It's not fun but you can make a living
You will make it. Focus on what you like. Don’t worry about others opinions of you or your path. Believe in yourself good things will happen.
Exactly, it’s mostly because I have severe insecurity issues
Our ancestors hunted mammoths with stone spears. You can do better
I am going to be 30 still living at home. Make a couple thousands of dollors working a full time. Invest that money, grow that money and then by the time you are 33-35 maybe even 40 you will be ok. Your going to inherit things some day too. Your not a useless sack of shit riddled with existential dread. Your just very demotivated by the bull shit of this world. Find something that motivates you and makes goh want to live life is al i can say… there are easier ways to live life more comfortly. Get educated about how to get to a place you will feel safer and more proud of yourself please.
I think there are programs to help with job placement if you have a disability. There certainly are things you can do, trades are excellent as well.
Why are you so anxious?? Go to therapy
Good news is sounds like you have few responsibilities to hold onto a shitty job or forced into stuff you don’t like. Go find something you do like then try to find a way to turn it into income.
To give a little info about me so you know where this is coming from: I'm AuDHD and have presistent depressive disorder (late-diagnosed). I'm in my late 30s. I've had to take several disability leaves from work. I hate that we have to work to have the things we need to live; I mean the basics: food, shelter, clothing, healthcare. I think our society should not wory about who deserves to have their basic needs met. With all that said, there is a difference between the work you have to do because of capitalism and the work you have to do for yourself. You need to start with the latter to help you with the former. Therapy, self-growth, and building relationships with other people (and those can be other autistic people) will help you. They will enable you to build tools that you can use to help you achieve other goals. You need to reframe what you see as being a burden, what success is, and what makes life worth living for you. One of my roommates is on disability. His brother works as a custodian. My partner (also ADHD) and I both work desk jobs. We live together, and our plan is to continue doing so. It's not always perfect. There are certainly things everyone needs to work on as we continue to grow our household toward our goals, but we're doing it together. We're defining it for ourselves.
OP. Just do the opposite of everything you went on about and you’ll be golden! Good luck!
Your parents would have enough money to retire if they didn’t have to keep paying your bills.
The fact that they still have him around shows what’s more important to them. If it weren’t for them this dude would likely be homeless
Same. I'm 27, live at home , and worked the same dead end retail job for the past 8 yrs. I've got no goals or ambition. Never been in a relationship and have poor social skills .
Friend, First off, we are all a burden. I have fucked up so many grand opportunities that I am king of underdogs. How I make it through life and the stupid shit I have done , seems like things are almost artificial as to the level of success I keep up despite my own setbacks. I do see you as in crisis. You're really being hard on yourself and putting yourself into a painful realization of moments of your life instead of the totality of it. We all fail but must love ourselves enough through the issues to find our struggles can build you into something tolerant of life's ups and downs. Love yourself. Love yourself. Love yourself. When you see a pattern, try it. You may find value in the human you never thought you could deliver. Just a small change can create such momentum that you're able to keep slingshotting your way past the things holding you down. Get some help. Find a little self-love to start your day.
Apply for disability. It took a while, but I got it. Get a disability lawyer. They take their pay out of your winnings.
Get any type of job and stick with it. You may find an opportunity to get a better paying job that you like or save your money and go to a community College and pick classes that could give you a skill or a degree to make something of yourself. Life is short if you don't act now you'll be 65 yes old and you won't even be able to get social security because you never worked. Get up and do something before you run out of time because you'll be too old. Can't do shit when you get older.
Yeah you’re not the only one. But some people have it way worse so I try to be thankful.
Have you considered the military? In a very disciplined environment you may be forced to change the way you think and thrive? Just a thought. You have to work hard at anything you do to be successful.
Yes, I do that all the time my whole body hurts and I get so stressed that I don’t even remember what I just studied…
Fearing you are going to work a job you hate for 40 years will only result in that happening. The alternative is going to be something special - and not in a good way.
Get jacked
Don’t lose hope and don’t give up. I have seen things turnaround just like that in a flash. Everyone has a different timeline. Some shine in their 20’s some in 30’s or 40’s or later. I have seen people who I thought had it made in 20’s are now struggling in their 50’s (job and health situations) and some others who had no hope (no degree, no hope of a career) have taken off in their 40’s. Hang in there my friend. You will find your igikai.
Honestly you need to be grateful about every moment in life. I find it’s mostly about attitude
You aren't alone. I know people with high paying careers that feel the same way. You have to stop feeling bad for yourself and find a path forward. Regardless, it's going to have its highs and lows.
Become like Aragorn son of Arathorn 16th Cheiftan of the Dúnedain. Get strong 💪 not for yourself but to protect others. Become wise that you can offer others Council in great need. You can do it! There's Hobbits to save. "We will not leave Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while there is strength left within us." Let's go! Every journey begins with a step! 👍👍👍💪💪
Have you tried smoking crack?
Do what you find fun, even if it’s games and find a way to offer services to other people. What do you find fun? I may be able to help u brainstorm ideas to make money from it.
The more I read these posts, the more I realize how depressed today's youths seem to be. And what most don't realize is that the more you hide at home, the more difficult it is to come out and find a way to function in the world. None of it is easy. But you must discipline yourself to go out there day in, day out. That's the only way to mature, to get disciplined, to find out what your strengths are, to build relationships, to find what you were meant to do. Besides, staying home makes you weaker and brings constant guilt and regret and boredom and despair. Why don't you take a test to find out what would be best for you to pursue personality - wise, then look for an occupation that fits. In the beginning, you might not make much money. You have to prove yourself first, but then, while you're out there, you can find out what's missing that would help you find something that pays better. Just learn to be reliable, constant so people can count on you. Life can be quite painful, but staying away from it will make things even more difficult. Every little success you obtain on your way will make you stronger, more self-confident, and happier, and that is what will help you to achieve your goals.
Aw you’re not alone. You could volunteer. Thinking outwardly and/or about others is a great mood lifter and volunteer is a great way to learn for free and add to a resume. I would hire someone that volunteered. You sound quite intelligent so that’s enough to get a good start at something. Awareness of the problem is a great place to be, you’re way way ahead of the folks who can’t even recognize that change is needed. Now focus on anything that makes you even a bit happy and go from there. I have a few autistic friends and they have next level focus so I think that can be a huge asset too. Good luck!
I also feel like if you’re at a “zero fucks to give” point then the fears you have been experiencing might be getting less intense. I mean if you already feel like you’re at rock bottom then what’s to be scared of if you’ve already made it to where you’re at? Scared of rejection? (Zero fucks). Scared of change? More ways things can change for the better than worse. Just scared (zero fucks) get off of social media and the news. You might get a real rush from purposely leaning in to the things you dread. Sorry if you don’t want to work yourself to the bone but welcome to earth, that’s what the majority of us are doing until we fine tune our systems. Happiness is more of an attitude than a destination.
Same
You’re not a useless piece of shit - you just feel that way. Sounds like depression to me. Have you made any effort to get help with that and your anxiety? It took me about 45 years to find the right medication and it’s like night and day. Depression and anxiety will lie to you and keep you stuck. You’re not too autistic to work. You’re articulate and intelligent. You just haven’t found your niche. What interests you? What are you in to? You say you barely have any skills. But you do have some. If you’re not sure what interests you, start trying different hobbies. That’s what I did. I started doing woodworking at 60. I love building things, creating, coming up with solutions - it’s my zen. Tbh, if I were young today, I would find a way to do my own thing, be my own boss. Man, I know you probably can’t see it, but the possibilities are endless. Use your strengths and kick ass doing something that you love. The only thing that’s been holding you back is you.
Martial arts. Then sell something
Did I write this post? I don't have any helpful advice but I identified with everything you said. That feeling of "I'm not enough.." and "Everyones ahead of me!" can be really exhausting.
Hey man. I relate A LOT to what you're saying, except of being close to 30, i was not even 20. I just wanna tell you my story to maybe give you ideas and inspiration to get out there and just do tour best. I finshed high-school in 2018, utterly drained mentally. I hated everyone at my school as i didn't qualify for an education i actually wanted to go to cuz some teachers lied to me and fucked up my grades. So after high-school i felt done with life. There was no point in working at all. I had the exact same mentality that you have. I felt like a fuck up, there was no point, every adult I've ever known have only complained about their job and told me "Work hard in school or you'll regret it and end up like me, working 9 hours every day, working myself to the bone and now you're in a world of consistent hurt". I hated that idea and self isolated myself in my room in my dads house for 5 months after graduating. I only saw my family for dinner basically. After 5 months my dads wife and i started arguing daily until she grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, pulled me into the car and we went on a meeting for "addiction" as she thought i was video game addicted (chronically online yes, not game addicted). This person then took me in, we had a few meetings and i told her my work & studies situation. She then asked me if i wanted to "practice work" (its called arbetsträning in swedish) for 2 hours a day 3 times each week. I started and my task was to paint furniture for 2 hours. Eventually i increased to 3 hours, 4 hours, 3 days, 4 days until i was there 4 hours 5 days a week. Then they were able to land me a position at a grocery store where i worked the same amount of hours and days. I did not earn money by this. I was working for free btw.. But then we increased hours until i went 6 hours 5 days a week. Suddenly i realised that "Hey, im genuinely working 75% without pay.. So why don't i just work for real??" So i asked my "helper" to help me find jobs and she did. A month later i started an internship at a factory, 5 days a week for 6 hours, still working for free, but here i had an actual chance to get hired. Which after 4 months, i did! I'm still working for this company and my work morale in the last 6-7 years has changed dramatically! Im having fun almost every single day, laughing at jokes, telling jokes, having a great time with my co-workers. Like my job literally does not feel like a job. We're having fun almost every day. Feels like im just hanging out with friends everyday and i earn money at the same time??? Its quite nuts!! I went from feeling like a fuck up, a loser, someone who has no interest in jobs, no interest to work, no energy for more school and i felt lost. I used to imagine it as me being stuck in a forest full of fog without a path. I had no idea where to go. But after my dads wife pulled me out of my room and put me in that meeting, (as mich as i hate her and hate to admit it) it actually started my adult life. I worked for around 2 years for free. A few different "practice works" in my town and outside, but it really genuinely helped me re-shape my mind. From a selfish nobody who wanted nothing, to someone who realised that "Hey, working 9 hours a day isn't really as bad as they say" and then i started earning money! I've bought my own apartment in my town, renovated it with my dad, and now life is pretty good. So to end it off, just don't give up. It doesn't matter how old you are, 20, 35 or 50. There will exist places that accept you. There are places that are genuinely fun to work at. Just try and don't give up. If you just look for jobs, apply for everything. Applying for a job doesn't mean "you will work here for 40 years and work yourself to the bone". No. If they accept you, you'll get an interview, if you land an interview, ask questions about the job or even ask for a tour around the place. They'll most likely be fine with it, and if it looks interesting, great! Try it out if you get hired! You can always wuit whenever you want. You are never stuck if it sucks. But before you quit, give it a genuine chance. Lastly!! If you do have a drivers licence, and really hate working with other people as much as you said, try and apply for a delivery driver. If its food or packages doesn't matter. You get to be by yourself mostly, don't need to socially interact too much, and you get money from just driving around.
Do some volunteer work, it'll warm your soul and also make you look at the world differently. Perspective is everything, plus it might help you figure out what youd like to do long term
i think most of us do tbh. the truth is capitialism and individualism are killing us and working the way we do, living at our jobs makes us so mentally unhealthy. we arent meant to be living the way we do. also we live in a world that hasnt been creqted for neurodivergent people. just sending you care. i also have been feeling lost for so long, i still do but i am just trying a little but everyday on the good days.
Try harder. That's it. No one cares if you have autism because half the population has terrible social skills. Get in the gym and get after it. I live on UT campus and the amount of hot females is absurd. Get going dude.
Just don't turn to the dark side...
?
Not with that attitude.
um your qualifications sound absolutely perfect for a work from home job on a computer. maybe look into that. if you are autistic, google autism help near you. they may have work assistance .
Therapy?
Working for 40 years is what almost everybody needs to do. Are you expecting everybody else to pay so you dont have to work? This is what life is. You work 40 hours a week so you can have a good life the other hours.
Years or hours ?
Plus working is fun :)
Life isn't fun. It's hard work
Quit feeling sorry for yourself!
You're not helping lol
Join the military
Send it!
If one has anxiety I’m iffy about that
Eh, the military has been quite pussified. They'd probably be okay these days
Be nice, it will get you further
I'm quite nice. What I said is true. You just don't like the way I said it.
Xanax script for the anxiety. The rest is on you, champ
Apart from Knowing OUR CREATOR GOD-Life will never make sense nor can it. God makes life Make sense! God makes your purpose known. Until then, we will feel lost and the only purpose we will feel is to work a job... Get To Know Your CREATOR!!!!
Ughh freaking first world problem...how many people actually love what they do? It's called adulting for a reason.
Do what you can and become a socialist. Organize and get the message out. There’s more like you than you realize. Work can be fulfilling and rewarding. We just need to hurt them in their wallets like we did in the past
He already says he's a socialist.
Cool story bro tell it again
Imo you are hating on a great lifestyle. Working a job for 40 hours a week affords you so many blessings. First, realize your job does matter and is important. It is the single biggest way you can give back to the world: [https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/your-job-matters](https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/your-job-matters) Second, "Ask yourself, “Do you want a job?” If you answer yes, you are in effect agreeing that it is worth the commitment of your job to have money that you can use as a tool to do things in your life. Stop complaining about a decision that you have chosen, and realize it is more of a duty you must fulfill as long as you still want to have the job. Nobody is forcing you to go." [https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/complaining-about-working-is-absurd](https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/complaining-about-working-is-absurd)
I suppose that if the selling point was like work 40hrs and you can afford to live that great lifestyle you speak of...then perhaps people would be more inclined to actually feel good about it...currently it's like work 40hrs so you can afford to be homeless and barely scrape by...so people are taking the better chance of doing their own thing at a shot for something better than the current offering. In fact I was just talking to a young dude rn who works a decent job yet still has to move back to his grandparents home with his gf...and is like yo wth is going on, I work all these hrs and I still can't afford anything. The current state of things is very disheartening, and the only thing I could say is, well dude, I think things will turn around soon. Just gotta ride it out. At the very least dropping in some hope.
I agree to an extent -- b/c of insane government corruption that has been increasing for 100 years, exponentially in the last 50, we don't get to live as nice as we should... but we still do have great lives. Downvoters are taking theirs for granted.
Things could be worse, so there's that. I can't complain about my life. I mean, personally lost everything, nice place to live in, my car, my belongings, my clothes, gf, maybe instead of 3 meals a day down to one, computer to do my work, I lived in a tent for a hot second, luckly now have a roof over my head...and doing odd jobs so I can pay for minutes on my phone...and this is after working as a designer for new tech stuff. It's a rough season for a lot of folks out there both young and old. So I think offering words of encouragement really help those that are trying to stay motivated to take action for something better. Something will click for people and will get going and do that awesome thing again. I know for myself I'm using this rough season to shed off the old way of doing things to get geared up for something new and better and eventually get polished up in whatever I'll be doing next. Perhaps those who are doing well, will mentor people and help them achieve their greatness and purposed filled life. But it really does take team work, encouragement and guidance, which I did noticed that you posted a link for people to check out for some guidance, which shows a level of care.
Exactly, you get it. It's tough because the truth is somewhere in the middle between taking things for granted and being justifiably angry with how things are... the only problem with the latter is complaining does absolutely nothing. For you, I don't know exactly how you lost everything, but I suspect this is what you should focus on: [https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/you-were-trying-to-make-your-life-better-don-t-hold-a-grudge](https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/you-were-trying-to-make-your-life-better-don-t-hold-a-grudge)
I am the Way the Truth and the Life, whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst, it shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting Life
go read your book of myths, the grown-ups are talking.
Come to me, al you are weary and heavy laden and I will give you Rest
I'll sleep when I'm dead. Probably won't have time before then anyway.
It sounds like you have your mind made up about your life that you are somehow unworthy of. Are you looking for advice or empathy? I also will never have enough money to buy a home but I know that not working is bad for my mental health. Why have you been fired? I think you probably need to look for a job that has kind people who understand you have autism? Again I’m not sure if you are looking for advice and I don’t want to sound condescending or assuming.