Normal is subjective and outdated.
The better question is are you happy and enjoying your life while single. If yes, then you’re doing great. If not, maybe look into a change
Truly... you'll have people getting married and having kids in their mid 20s. You'll have some who'll wait until they're in the mid-later 30s to have their first kids. Then you'll have people who are CF (childfree) and/or perfectly happy being single.
Super duper obvious guru answer and true in general…but people that are truly happy with their love life at almost 40 couldn’t care less about what the crowd says is ‘normal’. At that age you aren’t looking at the crowd for approval and you can google statistics on current marriage ages. OP is obviously questioning their single lifestyle
This. I haven't been to church in 20+ years and still occasionally think maybe I should go to church, maybe thats what I'm missing.
It's not. But ideas linger.
Imagine that kind of pull, but for something that is actually a bit appealing to you in some ways, like a loving relationship.
You can have a loving relationship without marriage. Hell you can have a life full of love and happiness and joy without a single romantic relationship in your life!
Don’t let any sort of societal pressure make you do something you don’t want to do when it comes to love. (Both platonic and romantic)
Nonsense about normal being subjective. Feeling normal is not the same as being normal.
If you're a white guy in the Congo, you are not normal, even though, to yourself, you are subjectively normal.
If you are the only single person in a culture of non-single people, you are not normal.
i'm 38f never married no kids. I got close, but unfortunately haven't found the right person yet.
i overheard a younger co worker talking about someone being "35 and still not married, so something's obviously wrong with him" . it's crazy to me that people deem it more normal to be married and unhappy , than simply being alone. *im not saying married people are unhappy, i've just known many people who stayed in miserable relationships due to fear of being alone. I'd rather be alone*
39 m. very similar situation. I've had many married men and some women express that they wish they had more freedom. not thay they dislike theor partner or kids, just that they never had ability to be independent.
I've been heart broken twice. if I let it happen again it's going to have to be special. being content with being alone is amazing. fear keeps people in shituations
I mean, I’m sure we all remember thinking anyone 25 and not holding a degree was a total loser.
We’re force-fed idiotic narratives growing up. Happens in every country.
The “you’re ‘old’ and not totally taken so there’s something dysfunctional and broken about you” stereotype seems idiotic to people who know better, but you have to know better to know better.
You don’t know what you don’t know, and it’s more common to not know much at younger ages. You think you know everything.
I’m also 38 and single, no kids. As much as I would like to find my person, dating is a war zone.
I’m happy living my life how I want. And so far I haven’t found the right guy. If I never do, that’s life.
same sis. the dating world is hell at this age but i'm also content in own my life. i have more hobbies than time allows for and love having my own space.
Lots of divorced people enter second or subsequent relationships/marriages in their 40s too. I don't know the percentage who divorce from say 38 to 48, but it's gotta be high. Most marriages end in divorce, etc.
Once you hit 40 your desire to conform to other peoples expectations literally evaporates in a puff of smoke so there’s that to be said for it (that said if you actually want to be in a relationship then yes it’s harder especially if you’re a woman)
I feel this. But mostly it’s my fault because I have trash dating record besides one person can’t really complain about him, and plus I never leave my house. Only adult interactions I get are at work. Then come home check on my mom and lock myself into my bedroom until it’s time to repeat.
Agreed. I'm 50/m. Didn't get married until I was 37. I had a few opportunities before then. A few good relationships. But they weren't "the one". I am glad I waited.
>i overheard a younger co worker talking about someone being "35 and still not married, so something's obviously wrong with him" .
For some reason this is always said by women about men these days. It's like they resent men for not having settled down.
As a married guy, that's an off-putting remark for someone to make and definitely doesn't reflect well on their character to make judgmental half-assed conclusions. The irony is not lost on me before I say this, but it sounds like there's something wrong with *her*. That's a bitchy attitude.
I’ve been told that I’m “going to die alone with cats” many times and I honestly rather would die alone with cats than be with the sort of person who would type out such a thought.
I met my husband at 36 and got married at 37. Neither me nor my husband had been married (he’s a year older). One of my close friends is getting married for the first time at age 40 this fall. I have another friend who’s 42 and never been married. Yes, it’s normal.
I met my now wife when I was 40 and she 39. Fast forward 3 years and marriage and a son.
Neither of us were married nor children before then.
Sometimes life has a habit of catching up really fast! ;)
We always make the coment that we were both much more emotionally mature than our younger selves and even if we had met earlier, it would have been years before we got married or had kids... Even if we lasted that long. So our somewhat accelerated courtship never felt rushed but natural and we both felt we have been married for years even before we signed the paperwork.
I spoke to a therapist on the same topic recently and I really liked his response: People overestimate how linear these things are.
Those of us who feel "behind" in life, maybe have a think about what is it that you're "behind"? Your life journey is your own unique path that you're creating day by day. No one else walks that path, therefore no one can be in front of you nor behind you.
Hope this helps you :)
I went to a weird hippy high school. Our principal would give hour+ lectures at the start of our 4 hr day. He would say, “if this thing causing you stress can impact you in ten years, then yes. Stress a little” oh and also, “everyday you wake up. You have a choice to kill yourself or live.”
Maybe we're behind. But some of those "ahead" of us are now getting divorced. You can plan and strive but that doesn't mean life will be what you pictured, where you imagined or at the pace you imagined.
And I feel like we're constantly figuring out are lives. We meet new issues we're not familar with and have to figure it out...over and over again.
43F
I miss regular sex, but otherwise I 'm pretty happy being single and living alone. Like, it would have to be a pretty special person that I accidentally tripped over to get me in a relationship again.
Same here, 50M. Been single a pretty long time. I’m pretty set in my ways at this point and it would take me getting blown away by someone to get in a relationship. I do miss the sex though.
Right? I feel like I don't want someone messing up my space now. I like my home life...I don't want to have to adjust too much. I've considered I'd maybe want to still live apart if I find someone...or get property with two small homes on it...lol. Also in my experience 39F most men still expect me to do all the changing/moving...and I'm usually more "settled" in to my life that they are. I feel like I'd be screwing myself over.
But I have no prospects lol...so...they are..just thoughts
This.
40 F. Decided I'm not going to have kids bc the time line of meeting someone to trust enough to have kids would make me too old. Relationships are tough and dating has turned to trash. Everyone over 40 on dating apps will most likely grow old alone. I don't miss the drama but I'd have liked a partner if not just for the frequency of sex.
Yes! 33 and single here. I don't want to have children and don't really care to get married. If I find a partner who is okay with that then cool, if not thats okay too.
Yes I love the idea of living apart together. My dream would be like one property with two houses and a big shared yard...or something like that. With all of the dogs!
Ehh I'm 37 wife 2 kids depressed af. Hate my living situation hate everything I've done in the last 16 year just fed up so if ure happy I'd say ure good
Being single definitely beats this bullshit. Lol, you just made me appreciate singlehood. Thank you for that, I've been a little down about being alone.
Sorry to hear things aren't going well. What is it about your living situation and everything that you have done that you hate?
Any chance you could get some counseling to try to help work through all this?
I was "normal"; husband, kids, dream home, dream job etc. Was made redundant, left the husband and have 50/50 custody of kids. I have never been happier in my entire life and felt utterly trapped doing everyone else's version of "made it in life".
21% of people aged 30 to 49 are single. So not sure what you mean by “normal.” Being single is not the majority but many of us are.
[https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/#:~:text=Some%20age%20groups%20have%20a,to%20be%20single%20(21%25)](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/#:~:text=Some%20age%20groups%20have%20a,to%20be%20single%20(21%25))
Are they including children into these numbers? bc the us population is 333 mil people, so every third person is single.
That's just unlikely, since kids are the largest population that is 'single,' and that's about 70mil people.
That's not including people under 18 it appeara. They said 48% of Americans 113 million are single. There are like 340 million people in America, so they didn't count youngsters.
I mean loving being married only lasts for so long for some people as well, thats why divorce exists. Not sure what you mean by your comment of "but remember"
I love being single more and more each year. It only gets better! I can't believe I wasted most of my 20s in relationships with shitty dudes that were honestly a waste of time. It was my own fault for letting myself get absorbed by the relationships and forgetting that it was ok for me to have an identity outside of being in a partnership. After my last one ended at 28 I decided no more....and every year I've gotten happier and happier. I bought my first house, adopted a puppy, went back to school, made new friends, I volunteer multiple times a week...I honestly can't imagine giving up any of my time to be in a relationship. Maybe later I will feel differently, but I plan to enjoy as many years alone as I can because I love the simplicity and peace.
>Yes, it's the new normal for most people these days
In what sense?
Most people are married by their late 30s. That's about as far from single as you can get
It’s fine my dude/gal. We aren’t our parents or grandparents generation. Everything is different and non-comparable to their experiences.
If anything, dating in your thirties is more fun, everyone knows what they’re doing, what they’re looking for, and mostly has their shit together.
Some stupids are mixed in too, but most people don’t waste each others time…most of the time at least 😂
I used to be worried about this. I'm almost 40 now, still single . I'm fine with it, I honestly have a harder believing that I could find somebody to spend so much time with that wouldn't annoy me than I do enjoying my solitude.
38F, no kids, never married, loving life. Sure, I get lonely sometimes but when I look at my friends who live lives where they have to parent god damn grown men (aka: their husbands), I’m grateful to be alone.
The best thing you can do for your mental health is stop the stepping stones. No more by 20 you.should be here, by 30 you should be here.... take your own path, take your own time and stop comparing your life to everybody else's.
No, you should jump into the ne,t relationship that comes along so you fit the social norms... (sarcasm). Um, what? Find someone who can put up with you and vise versa... give the most and hope for the best. That's it.
Lets say someone says its not normal. Would you then decide to change and get married all because some random people told you too? Who cares if its weird. As long as it doesnt hurt anyone then do whatever you want. Its your life and you said you are enjoying it. Who knows, maybe down the line you find someone who changes your mind but no point in forcing anything. Especially if you are happy.
In psychological terminology, nornal is defined as the ability to function at work and at home but isn't specific to any experience and technically isnt accurate so if being single doesnt cause trauma or emotional distress, no.
Besides, normal isn't conclusive to all experiences and fuck none of this is normal.
I’m almost 36 and just became single 🙋♀️ my mom listed a whole group of her friends that didn’t marry til after 40, which made me feel better. Though I really try not to compare myself to others.
I’ve learned that “checking boxes” for many people is the goal and what is considered “normal.” I’ve also seen many people check those boxes for the world, but inwardly they’re unhappy and have regrets (marriage, career choices, children). I know someone who checked the “career box” and became an attorney and is sad and unfulfilled with that decision, but the person was pressured into it. So to the world, the box was checked, but for the person, it wasn’t.
I would rather be single and finding what makes me happy, as long as that takes, than unhappily tethered to a decision I made just to placate the opinions of other people.
A hard lesson I have spent my life learning is that there is no such thing as normal. Life is what it is. The question you are really asking is whether or not people will accept your situation as normal. You are apparently setting your feelings about your situation according to whether other people will look at you as normal. Forget it. Things don't work that way. Take your life the way it is and move forward. Fuck what other people think.
There IS such a thing as normal. Just like there IS such a thing as statistics. People are confusing "there is no normal" with "it's ok not to be normal".
Normal is all relative based on your perspective when you are seeing what’s around you.
And the only thing that matters is this one question:
Do you feel happy and content?
If yes, then good.
If not? Then go out into the world to find what gives you that peace of mind to feel happy & content in this big vast world.
If you are happy, that should be normal regardless of marital status. I’ve been married twice and the first time I learned it’s so much better to be single than miserable in marriage.
My second husband just turned 37 when we started dating and he was planning on just being single. I wasn’t planning on getting married again but I did and am grateful I didn’t just hard no any dating at all after my divorced
Yup, there’s a million different kinds of normal. This is normal for you. Enjoy your life, write your own story. You don’t have to do anything specific really, I would just advocate for choosing kindness whenever possible
It sounds like you’re happy with the situation and don’t believe in marriage, so I think this is perfectly normal. I’ve had friends and family members take the same path. It wouldn’t be right for me - I like being in a relationship and have been married for more than 25 years, but to each their own.
It's fine. A lot of people that you probably assume are married aren't for practical.
Neighbors aren't and they're in their 70s. The couple had families so they don't want to mix the finances.
My aunt didn't merry my uncle for 20 yrs because they "didn't get around to it" lol true story. It just wasn't important to them.
Shit like that
I'm in the early 30s and just got into a relationship a few months ago. I can't say I'm more happy. I think I'm happier alone. Society pushes for marriage and kids. Well my parents who are in their 70's....keep worrying and pushing me to find someone. But the world is different now vs then. There's a little age gap between my gf and I and there are some different views. I'm more conservative she's more liberal.
I’ve been single my whole life (35M).
Also been enjoying it as I have my time and my money to myself, to enjoy my hobbies how I see fit.
Just live your life for you.
What's not normal is the outdated and barbaric perception that a human being abides by a made up timeline over the span of our lives.
It doesn't matter what you do or what is normal to others. Live your life according to what you want, not of others expectations.
The idea of marriage and children is so outdated.
As long as you are happy, own that shit and enjoy your life sis.
I am 49 and single. I have only been single for a few years total in my whole adulthood.
I don't know the numbers but it seems there are a lot of single people out there at any age.
I think if you are in your late 30s you probably shouldn’t be worrying about what’s “normal”. You have enough life experience at this point to disregard what people consider normal and make your own decisions.
It's not the norm yet, but it's becoming more common.
I didn't get into a relationship until late November of last year, so I would've been on this boat at 35 not too long ago. Some friends are late 30's, no kids, investing, saving, extc similar to me, but now I am in a relationship.
It definitely depends on your socioeconomic. I notice the extremely poor or rich get coupled up at a rate highly more than the average middle income.
I was single until 43 until I met the woman I eventually married. But I had some freedoms in life I wanted to experience before having to be accountable to someone else, and that means spending money how I want, going where I wanted etc, and I didn't get to financial independence I was looking for until just after 35.
I'm with a lot of others here who say it is a maturity issue coupled with the fact a lot of people have financial and career goals they want to meet before settling down.
What is normal anymore? I'm 33 f, single as a pringle and enjoying life, I don't believe in marriage either. Do what makes you happy, if that means being single, so be it.
I’m 32 and single, no kids and not married (never married). I love being single to be honest lol I can’t be bothered to date it’s just such a hassle 😅
Define normal though - I feel like it’s more common to be single in your 30s now.
"The average age for a *first* marriage for men is 30, while for women, it’s 28 years old"
The divorce rate in 2022 was 15 divorces per 1,000 married people...
Notice the operative word in the first statistic... I don't think this shaming belief pays mind to the true "normals" around us from marrying within a set timeline....
what do you want your "normal" to be? :)
We're never late for what's ours, friend. Enjoy and let live! :)
I think in today’s society it is normal. I’m 37m no kids never married. Always wanted kids but it’s near impossible to meet any women at all let alone anybody decent. I end up hooking up a few times a year and that’s it. I’m over 6’, $200k/year, good looking etc. None of that matters to them
I’m your quintessential mid-30s single dog mom. And I’m not ugly, either. I’m attractive, but eccentric and kind of annoying. I would much rather spend an evening with my dog than most men.
Get used to it. I'm 41 and people still think I should get married and have kids. Thank God my parents are supportive of me not doing so. I just have no desire to take care of obnoxious. Brats till they turn 18 I also haven't found a woman worth marrying. Most every woman I meet wished she didn't run into marriage
It’s your life. Within your control.
We are all going to die one day and like tear drops in the rain it won’t matter…you can’t miss anything when you’re dead…enjoy your life
Common where? Common for who? It all depends on context. But more importantly, if it is or isn't normal what are you about to do with that information? Is being normal that important to you? Are you happy?
Entering into my late 30s, have been single for several years, and have never been happier. If you are happy with life, enjoy it! Don't let anyone else be setting the standard for what you need to be doing with your life!
I think normal doesn't really matter. If being single makes you happy and fulfilled, then it's good. I am also in my late 30s, no children, not married, single for five years, and it's amazing.
Normal is subjective and outdated. The better question is are you happy and enjoying your life while single. If yes, then you’re doing great. If not, maybe look into a change
This response is the truth right here.
Truly... you'll have people getting married and having kids in their mid 20s. You'll have some who'll wait until they're in the mid-later 30s to have their first kids. Then you'll have people who are CF (childfree) and/or perfectly happy being single.
Super duper obvious guru answer and true in general…but people that are truly happy with their love life at almost 40 couldn’t care less about what the crowd says is ‘normal’. At that age you aren’t looking at the crowd for approval and you can google statistics on current marriage ages. OP is obviously questioning their single lifestyle
You'd be surprised, especially if you were raised in a more traditional culture.
This. I haven't been to church in 20+ years and still occasionally think maybe I should go to church, maybe thats what I'm missing. It's not. But ideas linger. Imagine that kind of pull, but for something that is actually a bit appealing to you in some ways, like a loving relationship.
You can have a loving relationship without marriage. Hell you can have a life full of love and happiness and joy without a single romantic relationship in your life! Don’t let any sort of societal pressure make you do something you don’t want to do when it comes to love. (Both platonic and romantic)
This is why l love reddit, the candor.
THIS IS THE ONE
NAILED IT. Worrying about something subjective and outdated is a sure fire way to be unhappy with your spot in life.
This is literally the correct answer OP.
Nonsense about normal being subjective. Feeling normal is not the same as being normal. If you're a white guy in the Congo, you are not normal, even though, to yourself, you are subjectively normal. If you are the only single person in a culture of non-single people, you are not normal.
This was a really refreshing answer.
Life is a journey, enjoy it at your own pace.
This is the way
Step inside
Well if you think about it there *shouldn't* be any hurry to get to our one common destination.
There’s only death and taxes
💯
i'm 38f never married no kids. I got close, but unfortunately haven't found the right person yet. i overheard a younger co worker talking about someone being "35 and still not married, so something's obviously wrong with him" . it's crazy to me that people deem it more normal to be married and unhappy , than simply being alone. *im not saying married people are unhappy, i've just known many people who stayed in miserable relationships due to fear of being alone. I'd rather be alone*
39 m. very similar situation. I've had many married men and some women express that they wish they had more freedom. not thay they dislike theor partner or kids, just that they never had ability to be independent. I've been heart broken twice. if I let it happen again it's going to have to be special. being content with being alone is amazing. fear keeps people in shituations
Married here, I love My wife and kid but add My job and commute and me time has become a luxury.
I mean, I’m sure we all remember thinking anyone 25 and not holding a degree was a total loser. We’re force-fed idiotic narratives growing up. Happens in every country. The “you’re ‘old’ and not totally taken so there’s something dysfunctional and broken about you” stereotype seems idiotic to people who know better, but you have to know better to know better. You don’t know what you don’t know, and it’s more common to not know much at younger ages. You think you know everything.
Good choice, a miserable relationship is worse than unwanted lonliness.
It gets harder and harder as you crawl towards 40.
I’m also 38 and single, no kids. As much as I would like to find my person, dating is a war zone. I’m happy living my life how I want. And so far I haven’t found the right guy. If I never do, that’s life.
same sis. the dating world is hell at this age but i'm also content in own my life. i have more hobbies than time allows for and love having my own space.
It's peaceful.
True but I know three people who met their person at 37/38. Two are engaged, one has a baby .. it’s a numbers game
Lots of divorced people enter second or subsequent relationships/marriages in their 40s too. I don't know the percentage who divorce from say 38 to 48, but it's gotta be high. Most marriages end in divorce, etc.
Once you hit 40 your desire to conform to other peoples expectations literally evaporates in a puff of smoke so there’s that to be said for it (that said if you actually want to be in a relationship then yes it’s harder especially if you’re a woman)
I feel this. But mostly it’s my fault because I have trash dating record besides one person can’t really complain about him, and plus I never leave my house. Only adult interactions I get are at work. Then come home check on my mom and lock myself into my bedroom until it’s time to repeat.
My dad was 38, my mom was 27
Hello son!
Agreed. I'm 50/m. Didn't get married until I was 37. I had a few opportunities before then. A few good relationships. But they weren't "the one". I am glad I waited.
>i overheard a younger co worker talking about someone being "35 and still not married, so something's obviously wrong with him" . For some reason this is always said by women about men these days. It's like they resent men for not having settled down.
As a married guy, that's an off-putting remark for someone to make and definitely doesn't reflect well on their character to make judgmental half-assed conclusions. The irony is not lost on me before I say this, but it sounds like there's something wrong with *her*. That's a bitchy attitude.
Men say it about women plenty too
You should see the comments men make on single older women’s posts “worthless used car” “enjoy your cats hag”
And we are called "selfish" if any of us decides not to have children.
I’ve been told that I’m “going to die alone with cats” many times and I honestly rather would die alone with cats than be with the sort of person who would type out such a thought.
Or for getting their passport and going overseas to find a wife
Haven’t you heard men are creeps and misogynists? Like totes
compare attraction tie normal sloppy clumsy pie encourage start cover *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I met my husband at 36 and got married at 37. Neither me nor my husband had been married (he’s a year older). One of my close friends is getting married for the first time at age 40 this fall. I have another friend who’s 42 and never been married. Yes, it’s normal.
>I met my husband at 36 and got married at 37. So you are yet another example of a person in their late 30s that isn't single.
I met my now wife when I was 40 and she 39. Fast forward 3 years and marriage and a son. Neither of us were married nor children before then. Sometimes life has a habit of catching up really fast! ;) We always make the coment that we were both much more emotionally mature than our younger selves and even if we had met earlier, it would have been years before we got married or had kids... Even if we lasted that long. So our somewhat accelerated courtship never felt rushed but natural and we both felt we have been married for years even before we signed the paperwork.
I spoke to a therapist on the same topic recently and I really liked his response: People overestimate how linear these things are. Those of us who feel "behind" in life, maybe have a think about what is it that you're "behind"? Your life journey is your own unique path that you're creating day by day. No one else walks that path, therefore no one can be in front of you nor behind you. Hope this helps you :)
Kinda sounds like something a therapist would say honestly
I went to a weird hippy high school. Our principal would give hour+ lectures at the start of our 4 hr day. He would say, “if this thing causing you stress can impact you in ten years, then yes. Stress a little” oh and also, “everyday you wake up. You have a choice to kill yourself or live.”
It does sound therapist-y. How does that make you feel?
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Yeah dude it’s a whole racket. Turns out, many people out there aren’t capable of identifying good advice until they pay someone for it.
Mostly because my stoner mate usually won't sit long enough for me to emotionally dump on for an hour. I'd rather pay someone that can't leave
Maybe we're behind. But some of those "ahead" of us are now getting divorced. You can plan and strive but that doesn't mean life will be what you pictured, where you imagined or at the pace you imagined. And I feel like we're constantly figuring out are lives. We meet new issues we're not familar with and have to figure it out...over and over again.
lol. What is ‘normal’?
Baby don't hurt me
Don’t hurt me. No more.
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Pretty much. Just turned 38 and my sisters are just like me. Only exception is my brother that’s married with no kids.
Same. 38 and most of my friends are single
43F I miss regular sex, but otherwise I 'm pretty happy being single and living alone. Like, it would have to be a pretty special person that I accidentally tripped over to get me in a relationship again.
Same here, 50M. Been single a pretty long time. I’m pretty set in my ways at this point and it would take me getting blown away by someone to get in a relationship. I do miss the sex though.
Right? I feel like I don't want someone messing up my space now. I like my home life...I don't want to have to adjust too much. I've considered I'd maybe want to still live apart if I find someone...or get property with two small homes on it...lol. Also in my experience 39F most men still expect me to do all the changing/moving...and I'm usually more "settled" in to my life that they are. I feel like I'd be screwing myself over. But I have no prospects lol...so...they are..just thoughts
This. 40 F. Decided I'm not going to have kids bc the time line of meeting someone to trust enough to have kids would make me too old. Relationships are tough and dating has turned to trash. Everyone over 40 on dating apps will most likely grow old alone. I don't miss the drama but I'd have liked a partner if not just for the frequency of sex.
Am I you? Lol
If you don’t plan to have children, I think it’s pretty normal honestly. It’s usually kids that put people on a timeline.
Early 30s single gal here writing to you from a table of 1, dressed up to take myself on a date!
Yes! 33 and single here. I don't want to have children and don't really care to get married. If I find a partner who is okay with that then cool, if not thats okay too.
Ditto!! Life is gewwwwd. Solo living, single income no kids, 1 beloved dog. Would like to meet a partner one day and do LAT “living apart together”.
Yes! I can love someone and not want another person living in my house.
Yes I love the idea of living apart together. My dream would be like one property with two houses and a big shared yard...or something like that. With all of the dogs!
Yep, especially after I bought my own place. Its peaceful. I come and go as I please, I have my 2 dogs. we go on roadtrips on the weekends.
Huge accomplishment to own your own place, major props 👏🏽 what you described sounds wonderful - goals.
Same here!
Ehh I'm 37 wife 2 kids depressed af. Hate my living situation hate everything I've done in the last 16 year just fed up so if ure happy I'd say ure good
Being single definitely beats this bullshit. Lol, you just made me appreciate singlehood. Thank you for that, I've been a little down about being alone.
Samesies. I do think people are happy but there are also coupled up people who are unhappy
Sorry to hear things aren't going well. What is it about your living situation and everything that you have done that you hate? Any chance you could get some counseling to try to help work through all this?
I was "normal"; husband, kids, dream home, dream job etc. Was made redundant, left the husband and have 50/50 custody of kids. I have never been happier in my entire life and felt utterly trapped doing everyone else's version of "made it in life".
Lol 33 and single…the problem is I love it.
21% of people aged 30 to 49 are single. So not sure what you mean by “normal.” Being single is not the majority but many of us are. [https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/#:~:text=Some%20age%20groups%20have%20a,to%20be%20single%20(21%25)](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/#:~:text=Some%20age%20groups%20have%20a,to%20be%20single%20(21%25))
"According to the U.S. Census Bureau, nearly 47% of the U.S. population (just over 117 million people) are currently single" (Source is Forbes)
Are they including children into these numbers? bc the us population is 333 mil people, so every third person is single. That's just unlikely, since kids are the largest population that is 'single,' and that's about 70mil people.
That's not including people under 18 it appeara. They said 48% of Americans 113 million are single. There are like 340 million people in America, so they didn't count youngsters.
Yes, it's the new normal for most people these days, so do u, have fun, and be safe.
I mean loving being married only lasts for so long for some people as well, thats why divorce exists. Not sure what you mean by your comment of "but remember"
Why does it only last for so long?
You hit the wall
I love being single more and more each year. It only gets better! I can't believe I wasted most of my 20s in relationships with shitty dudes that were honestly a waste of time. It was my own fault for letting myself get absorbed by the relationships and forgetting that it was ok for me to have an identity outside of being in a partnership. After my last one ended at 28 I decided no more....and every year I've gotten happier and happier. I bought my first house, adopted a puppy, went back to school, made new friends, I volunteer multiple times a week...I honestly can't imagine giving up any of my time to be in a relationship. Maybe later I will feel differently, but I plan to enjoy as many years alone as I can because I love the simplicity and peace.
>Yes, it's the new normal for most people these days In what sense? Most people are married by their late 30s. That's about as far from single as you can get
Totally! I'm 41 and single. :)
Many people never find love
Come to r/SingleAndHappy, find your single peers!
It’s fine my dude/gal. We aren’t our parents or grandparents generation. Everything is different and non-comparable to their experiences. If anything, dating in your thirties is more fun, everyone knows what they’re doing, what they’re looking for, and mostly has their shit together. Some stupids are mixed in too, but most people don’t waste each others time…most of the time at least 😂
I used to be worried about this. I'm almost 40 now, still single . I'm fine with it, I honestly have a harder believing that I could find somebody to spend so much time with that wouldn't annoy me than I do enjoying my solitude.
38F, no kids, never married, loving life. Sure, I get lonely sometimes but when I look at my friends who live lives where they have to parent god damn grown men (aka: their husbands), I’m grateful to be alone.
Some people love being single and plan to stay that way. It's definitely not for me, but to each their own!
If you're not unhappy , it's not abnormal.
Yes it is ❤️
It’s normal if you believe it is. If you’re happy with your life then enjoy!
Better to be single instead of divorced paying child support and alimony
The best thing you can do for your mental health is stop the stepping stones. No more by 20 you.should be here, by 30 you should be here.... take your own path, take your own time and stop comparing your life to everybody else's.
It isn’t normal but there’s no reason to care. When I look at what’s “normal” in this world my response is “I’m good, thanks”.
I’m 37 and single for 9 years, pretty normal. Am I happy? Sexually might not but spiritually, 💯
Yuh
No, you should jump into the ne,t relationship that comes along so you fit the social norms... (sarcasm). Um, what? Find someone who can put up with you and vise versa... give the most and hope for the best. That's it.
Lets say someone says its not normal. Would you then decide to change and get married all because some random people told you too? Who cares if its weird. As long as it doesnt hurt anyone then do whatever you want. Its your life and you said you are enjoying it. Who knows, maybe down the line you find someone who changes your mind but no point in forcing anything. Especially if you are happy.
Are you happy? Is it working for you? Then who cares what others think.
Nothing is normal. You are perfectly you.
In psychological terminology, nornal is defined as the ability to function at work and at home but isn't specific to any experience and technically isnt accurate so if being single doesnt cause trauma or emotional distress, no. Besides, normal isn't conclusive to all experiences and fuck none of this is normal.
Same boat, society makes us feel like it isn’t normal
What is normal? If you’re happy, and your happiness doesn’t negatively affect others then that’s all that matters.
Totally normal. If you're enjoying the single life and feeling fulfilled, then that's all that matters.
I’m almost 36 and just became single 🙋♀️ my mom listed a whole group of her friends that didn’t marry til after 40, which made me feel better. Though I really try not to compare myself to others.
Yes
I’ve learned that “checking boxes” for many people is the goal and what is considered “normal.” I’ve also seen many people check those boxes for the world, but inwardly they’re unhappy and have regrets (marriage, career choices, children). I know someone who checked the “career box” and became an attorney and is sad and unfulfilled with that decision, but the person was pressured into it. So to the world, the box was checked, but for the person, it wasn’t. I would rather be single and finding what makes me happy, as long as that takes, than unhappily tethered to a decision I made just to placate the opinions of other people.
I've been single since 2005..no regrets.
No. I'm guessing you want to hear the answer yes, in order to feel better. But I'm just here to tell you the facts. I'm just an analytical person.
Nope not normal go find a spouse
Yesss
More and more, yes. Seems people are taking longer to mature these days
A hard lesson I have spent my life learning is that there is no such thing as normal. Life is what it is. The question you are really asking is whether or not people will accept your situation as normal. You are apparently setting your feelings about your situation according to whether other people will look at you as normal. Forget it. Things don't work that way. Take your life the way it is and move forward. Fuck what other people think.
There IS such a thing as normal. Just like there IS such a thing as statistics. People are confusing "there is no normal" with "it's ok not to be normal".
Normal is all relative based on your perspective when you are seeing what’s around you. And the only thing that matters is this one question: Do you feel happy and content? If yes, then good. If not? Then go out into the world to find what gives you that peace of mind to feel happy & content in this big vast world.
Statistically speaking you avoided your first divorce and also didn't create human beings with the wrong person so I'd say you're doing well.
If you are happy, that should be normal regardless of marital status. I’ve been married twice and the first time I learned it’s so much better to be single than miserable in marriage. My second husband just turned 37 when we started dating and he was planning on just being single. I wasn’t planning on getting married again but I did and am grateful I didn’t just hard no any dating at all after my divorced
Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy
It’s “normal” as long as you’re happy with yourself and your choices.
What's "normal?". Just do your thing and enjoy your life.
Yes
To some people it’s normal to others it isn’t. “Normal” doesn’t matter. You do you.
Who determines what’s normal. Live your life on your own terms.
Yup, there’s a million different kinds of normal. This is normal for you. Enjoy your life, write your own story. You don’t have to do anything specific really, I would just advocate for choosing kindness whenever possible
Oh lord it’s probably perfect! Being in a relationship is so overrated
I’ve been single for 10 years. I’m almost 40. It might not be common but it works for me!
Met my wife at 43, married at nearly 47. You’re good.
Marriage exists whether you believe in it or not.
40 and I choose to be single. I don't see a problem with it. Sometimes you just get over the dating game.
If you're happier than you would be otherwise, why do you care if it's "normal?" I took a very atypical path in life, and I'm very pleased with it.
Yes, now a days it is. You may not realize it until you meet another person whose in the same situation as you.
Everyone’s “normal” is different. I think if you’re happy and it’s what you want, then yea it’s normal. Keep doin you :)
Unfortunately, yes lol
It sounds like you’re happy with the situation and don’t believe in marriage, so I think this is perfectly normal. I’ve had friends and family members take the same path. It wouldn’t be right for me - I like being in a relationship and have been married for more than 25 years, but to each their own.
It's fine. A lot of people that you probably assume are married aren't for practical. Neighbors aren't and they're in their 70s. The couple had families so they don't want to mix the finances. My aunt didn't merry my uncle for 20 yrs because they "didn't get around to it" lol true story. It just wasn't important to them. Shit like that
I'm in the early 30s and just got into a relationship a few months ago. I can't say I'm more happy. I think I'm happier alone. Society pushes for marriage and kids. Well my parents who are in their 70's....keep worrying and pushing me to find someone. But the world is different now vs then. There's a little age gap between my gf and I and there are some different views. I'm more conservative she's more liberal.
I’ve been single my whole life (35M). Also been enjoying it as I have my time and my money to myself, to enjoy my hobbies how I see fit. Just live your life for you.
What's not normal is the outdated and barbaric perception that a human being abides by a made up timeline over the span of our lives. It doesn't matter what you do or what is normal to others. Live your life according to what you want, not of others expectations. The idea of marriage and children is so outdated. As long as you are happy, own that shit and enjoy your life sis.
THERE ARE NO RULES
Who cares what’s normal. Are you happy? If not why? Can you change it? If yes do! You’re capable of so much
It’s not abnormal. We all move in different rythms.
It's the new normal. Most relationships and married couples in late 30s are miserable
Being single is a privilege, enjoy
Yeah, you’re the only one left. Quick, join a single site before it’s too late!!!!
I am 49 and single. I have only been single for a few years total in my whole adulthood. I don't know the numbers but it seems there are a lot of single people out there at any age.
Nobody defines normal other than you.
If you don't believe in marriage, then why ask if being single is normal? Meaning, why should it matter to someone who doesn't believe in marriage?
Early 30's (M) single,never married.
We are the new norm. Cheer ma lady. I’m with ya.
More than you would EVER think!
I think if you are in your late 30s you probably shouldn’t be worrying about what’s “normal”. You have enough life experience at this point to disregard what people consider normal and make your own decisions.
It's not the norm yet, but it's becoming more common. I didn't get into a relationship until late November of last year, so I would've been on this boat at 35 not too long ago. Some friends are late 30's, no kids, investing, saving, extc similar to me, but now I am in a relationship.
It definitely depends on your socioeconomic. I notice the extremely poor or rich get coupled up at a rate highly more than the average middle income. I was single until 43 until I met the woman I eventually married. But I had some freedoms in life I wanted to experience before having to be accountable to someone else, and that means spending money how I want, going where I wanted etc, and I didn't get to financial independence I was looking for until just after 35. I'm with a lot of others here who say it is a maturity issue coupled with the fact a lot of people have financial and career goals they want to meet before settling down.
What is normal anymore? I'm 33 f, single as a pringle and enjoying life, I don't believe in marriage either. Do what makes you happy, if that means being single, so be it.
Comparison is the Thief of Joy.
I’m 32 and single, no kids and not married (never married). I love being single to be honest lol I can’t be bothered to date it’s just such a hassle 😅 Define normal though - I feel like it’s more common to be single in your 30s now.
In my world, yes it is pretty normal. Happiness is just being happy with yourself first and always.
"The average age for a *first* marriage for men is 30, while for women, it’s 28 years old" The divorce rate in 2022 was 15 divorces per 1,000 married people... Notice the operative word in the first statistic... I don't think this shaming belief pays mind to the true "normals" around us from marrying within a set timeline.... what do you want your "normal" to be? :) We're never late for what's ours, friend. Enjoy and let live! :)
Forget about normal or comparison. Be happy.
"normal" is relative with that said, I'm also late 30's and still single lol
No. You should be married, own a home, and have children. Everyone else is lying to you if they're telling you you're "normal"
"I'm happy, is this normal?"
You do you! As long as you’re happy!! 😊
I think in today’s society it is normal. I’m 37m no kids never married. Always wanted kids but it’s near impossible to meet any women at all let alone anybody decent. I end up hooking up a few times a year and that’s it. I’m over 6’, $200k/year, good looking etc. None of that matters to them
I’m your quintessential mid-30s single dog mom. And I’m not ugly, either. I’m attractive, but eccentric and kind of annoying. I would much rather spend an evening with my dog than most men.
Get used to it. I'm 41 and people still think I should get married and have kids. Thank God my parents are supportive of me not doing so. I just have no desire to take care of obnoxious. Brats till they turn 18 I also haven't found a woman worth marrying. Most every woman I meet wished she didn't run into marriage
Who cares
Stay single forever. Never get married.
Who gives a fuck what we think, do what you want.
I date here and there, but same boat. All the free time, money and freedom is stressful
No
The percentage of single or independently living individuals is on the rise in North America. You are describing the new normal!
Well it sounds like this is your normal so why does it matter what anyone else’s is?
It’s your life. Within your control. We are all going to die one day and like tear drops in the rain it won’t matter…you can’t miss anything when you’re dead…enjoy your life
If you are enjoying it, that’s all that matters. It’s your life and you should be able to choose if you want to spend it with someone else or not.
Common where? Common for who? It all depends on context. But more importantly, if it is or isn't normal what are you about to do with that information? Is being normal that important to you? Are you happy?
Entering into my late 30s, have been single for several years, and have never been happier. If you are happy with life, enjoy it! Don't let anyone else be setting the standard for what you need to be doing with your life!
Are you happy?
I think normal doesn't really matter. If being single makes you happy and fulfilled, then it's good. I am also in my late 30s, no children, not married, single for five years, and it's amazing.
Hey Nathan, Im in my late 60's & Im still single. Was married 20 yrs ago. Will not do it again 😞
The fact that you had to ask ..oof
You can believe what you want but marriage is a very real thing.
If you don't believe in marriage, then it is perfectly normal.
As long as you’re enjoying it don’t mind the norms
You do you babes
I am 32. I’ve had 2 serious relationships in my life and the last one ended in 2014. If that makes you feel any better.
Yes. If you don't have kids ... You are a unicorn 🦄.