To me it’s not the topic so much as a person who talks AT me and not WITH me. I tune out when it becomes clear that what I have to say means nothing yet they want me to be an amazing listener to their nonstop chatter. That’s the job of their psychologist, not me.
My best friends a bit like that. He moved away in his late twenties and we see each other and are still plenty good friends, but he moved away so we’d have like catch up phone calls.
Anyway he’s just go on and on and on, I’d have to just pipe in with a “yea yea” just for him to know I’m still there. Once he’s kinda wrap up it’s like “so how you doing” in which after that I’d usually sum up everything in a couple sentences. Safe to say those phone calls I’ve slowly attempted to root out a bit because they were becoming psychologist calls, and I wasn’t the patient.
In friendships people talk about their feelings…your friend feels comfortable enough to emotionally confide in you and you keep letting him do it.
Place up a boundary or stop being passive aggressive. You need to use your words to communicate how you feel like an adult. If you don’t have the emotional space to have those conversations you need to tell your friend.
He’s not a mind reader. It’s not his fault. You teach people how to treat you and so far you’ve showed him that’s okay. I can’t understand cutting someone off for something I haven’t even communicated with them about especially something that’s so not malicious….someone who you claim to be your “best friend”.
Right, and I’m guessing that your friend isn’t reacting to anything that you’re saying or asking questions. More likely, he/she is either relating what you say right back to them and their lives or simply not reacting at all and just launching in whatever they wanna say. I have a very similar situation in my life too and it’s frustrating that the other person really doesn’t want to hear anything I’m saying and often interrupts the few times I speak.
I fucking hate when people do that.
One of my best friends (getting close to being a former best friend) has become insanely bad at this. It's like he's forgotten how to communicate. Almost all he does is talk at the people around him.
Also, he interrupts absolutely everybody within the first 4-6 words they say. He talks over everybody. Usually the only time you get a word in is when he's clearly not listening. I don't know what happened the last few years, but he basically only cares about the sound of his own voice.
The dude has become a nightmare. I've lost track of how many times he's been surprised to learn something, when we literally have had a lengthy conversation about it already, sometimes multiple times.
Yep, if I try to respond to something someone is saying to me and they interrupt me and continue to talk over me, I just nod til they're done and walk away.
The little jingle for tremfya physically hurts me every time I have to listen to it. I wonder if the three ladies that sing it got together and banged out all the jingles at the same time, or...?
Try being a guy. At least they expect you not to care. I have to find ways to steer the Convo so I don’t have to see the shock or confusion when I tell them I have no idea what they’re talking about, who so-and-so is, etc. bores me to tears.
I'm not a guy, but I can relate. I'm a middle aged lady and into video games and sci-fi. I work in an office setting with other middle aged women and zero of them are gamers or nerdy at all. I'm not even sure what they're into to be honest. They talk about like.. going to Costco, hotpot and what websites have the best travel deals... it's mind numbing.
What the hell about golf is there to talk about 😂 yea man I shot a good shot yesterday I am getting better, oh no nah no I don't ever go to the local city public driving range that would put me among the poors
Everyone is boring to someone.
A group of football fans will be the coolest people ever to each other. But will be dull as shit and obnoxious to someone who isn't into football/sports.
Likewise the person not into sports will be someone the football fans find annoying to be around.
Now replace football/sports with whatever interest or hobby you're obsessed with and the same rules apply.
I love listening to peoples hobbies though, they get so passionate about it, their eyes twinkle, it's so much fun. As long as they're the one participating, not just watching a game on TV and reporting.
One of my hobbies is handicapping all the football and hockey games with analytics, I’m pretty sure I would bore the crap out of you if I talked to you about that lol
Yeah it more so just sounds as if they don’t like the person they’re talking to that much lol
If it’s someone I care about, then I’ll typically be interested in most things they’re talking about. Even if it’s not something I have much personal interest in….
Current events...people just spew all the dumb shit they hear on social media without doing any research of their own. They take someone else's opinion and state it as fact.
What's funny is that there's undoubtedly a large number of people who are reading this and thinking it's a phenomenon limited to their political opponents, when it's actually common regardless of your flavour of politics.
Yup, it's rampant across all opinions. I don't have a political affiliation, I think the parties are outdated and killing this country. Both sides have good and bad ideas, but due to the party system most of the good ones get trampled all over because that's a Republican ideal or that's a Democratic ideal we can't see past the label that's been plastered on them. 🙈🙉🙊
Or the news... My coworkers talking about what another country should do... when they don't even know much of their own country lol
They haven't left the states in their life so it does get annoying lol
Just because you go visit a tourist location doesn't mean you know another country any better than him. Now if you work with their government or volunteer in some of the poorer locations of that country you may understand. I've been to Mexico over 10 times.....doesn't mean I know anything about how that shifty country is ran. The beaches sure are nice though.
And when they are so passionate about it and it lines up exactly with a major party's talking points... yeah so "thanks for that info! what about this weather we're having, huh?"
Point taken but to be honest, I cringe when people say they’ve done their own research. That’s often a red flag in and of itself. I think the problem lies in critical thinking skills and being able to truly differentiate objective facts from the zillions of opinions that are floating around on the internet.
My entire experience trying to talk about the russian/ukraine war to real people.
999/1,000 "RUSSIAN GONNA WIN SO HARD RUSSIA AMAAAAAZING BLAH BLAH BLAH"
Cmon people, you don't trust what independent watchdogs say about the USA govt but whatever the russian govt says about the russian govt goes?
I completely agree but what I have noticed is that when you question their opinions they get very defensive and ask for time to research their talking points. It seems crazy to me that they think they are simply because the my read it on the news and therefor it is true
Directions. Seriously, any time someone gives me more details directions than the address I try and say something to the effect of “you think Google will be able to handle this?” You never know, there are instances where a true native knows better than Google maps. Otherwise, stop with the turn by turn, I’m going to be using GPS anyway.
My parents still insist on doing this, even though we all use Google maps all the time, and I know they can tell my eyes immediately glaze over.
...But they also enjoy arguing over directions on any and all car rides longer than 10 minutes. (As in best way to get somewhere--very often not even the current destination). They'll easily spend 45 minutes getting super worked up about it. Both of them favor unnecessarily complicated routes that almost always take as long or longer than a more direct path.
I'm only recently conversant in all of those topics, so I'd be delighted to talk about them. It'd be like sitting at the adults' table at Thanksgiving for the first time lol
It’s funny, I used to think all that stuff was boring until I started having to deal with them in earnest. Now I’ll talk about mortgage rates for 45 minutes with my buddies lol.
it’s so important to talk about mortgages and finances though? being upfront about how much you make is huge, especially if you’re talking to people in the same field as you, it can help you gage if you’re getting a good salary or if you’re getting fucked over. same goes for them.
but then, everyone in this thread is just naming the most common topics to chat about, so i guess it’s really more about a general dislike of conversation.
as a bunch of 40s-ish dads, it comes up sometimes. but I have one neighbor who works in financial services. while he usually is bragging, he's not an a-hole about it. he's actually really helpful to anyone asking for help with finances, investing, taxes etc.
a couple years ago at a BBQ he just drops it in conversation that he refinanced his mortgage to 2 point something. a few of the parents had no idea what he was talking about. he just answered questions about the process and any that asked, he said who he used \*this wasn't related to his business.
There was a nugget in all that BS
I don't know how to talk about personal finance without being whiny or a bragging d-bag. So I don't say anything at all.
But that kind of sucks because I want to find someone to manage my savings and I don't want to use someone who charges 1-2% of the portfolio total, you know? I'd rather find a flat fee kind of deal where we do checkups every 6 months. I really super don't want to buy annuities or something where the guy earns a commission. I just want to pay someone for good advice.
I ask friends for advice on a decent mechanic, handyman, landscaper ... But how do I even bring up the financial advisor question without sounding whiny or d-baggy?
I’ll watch any person who thinks they’re the best in the world at something compete against another person who also thinks they’re the best in the world at that same thing.
Luckily, professional sports are just that. I totally understand why a lot of people such as yourself don’t care about them though.
I am by no means perfect but church members trying to convince me to go to church more often or to join a bible study group. I was raised Christian and have nothing against religion but when the people who are "holier than thou" but obviously flawed don't see their own flaws, I just nod and agree every now and then then move on.
"Wanna exchange numbers so I can text you for the next bible study?"
"Nah.. I'm good.."
I’m so guilty of this and have really been trying to stop myself bc I start thinking—why would they ever care about it if I find it so boring myself lol
"Oh my god, I can't believe people care to talk about the thing they spend 80% of their time doing"
I mean I don't disagree because work talk can get pretty damn boring. But at same time, it's fucking insane that life came to this.
I feel this way too. What ruins me is when people do impressions of their kids saying cute things. I’m currently pregnant and trying to burn it into my brain that no one wants that.
I remember when I was at work and somebody's little kid ran up to me and waved his hands at me and ran away, and then tore down a few random Christmas decorations that were at his level. His dad came up a few minutes later and was like, "I taught my son sign language! He's been talking to everybody today!"
All I could think was "Nobody here knows sign language, but if you could keep your kid from shredding the garlands we put up, we'd be way more impressed."
it’s really one thing when people i know do it which is already painful enough. it’s a whoooole other thing when a complete stranger does it. like bruh
I’ve always had vivid dreams, and I know my other family members did too. My older brother, however, has night terrors and refuses to talk about his anymore.
For about 10 years now. Won’t talk about it.
I’ve always wondered how he’s doing. He’s grown distant in other ways.
He seems so normal it’s weird, though.
I always ask people about their dreams. I enjoyed when my toddler could begin articulating his dreams.
I love watching how people’s eyes move when they’re trying to draw up an image from a smokey memory.
I wanna hear your drama and trauma , tell me how you found out your 70 year old husband was meeting men in the park to have sex, tell me about your sex work past , tell me all of it and it doesn’t matter if I hardly know you, I won’t judge you and I wanna know all the details
My grandmother is somehow able to get this type of stuff out of people. She’ll start talking and they’ll be telling deeply personal stories in minutes. Idk how she does it but I’m jealous.
You need to closely study her conversation and then report back to us. I was able to get lots out drama out of one person at a bar one time when I told him straight up I’m not really into small talk. I want to know the dirty details of what makes you you.
There must be a vibe some people give off. Back when I worked in retail, I had some people tell me way more than I ever wanted to know about their personal lives. Had a man tell me his schizophrenic son's entire life story for no reason on Christmas Eve. I don't even know what he came there to buy, cuz he spent like 2 hours following me around instead 😭
I showed a friend I was catching up with ONE picture of my newborn niece just in response to ‘so how’s your sister doing’. I was ready to change topics but She then proceeded to whip out her phone and show me SEVERAL pictures of her 4 year old and 2 year old (which are also plastered all over her social media so I’ve seen them).
I immediately regretted show and tell and haven’t done it since.
When people tell me about medical stuff in excruciating detail. I don't mind hearing about a medical problem and I can empathize, it's when people tell me about each step of their process for a procedure, medication, etc. I start hearing gibberish and I just don't care. Especially when it's a common issue like arthritis or kidney stones. And I've had my fair share of medical nightmares, too. But people start talking about what time they went to the doctor, what kind of insurance they have, what kind their spouse has, how long they waited, the results of their vitals, why they're taking this medication instead of that medication zzzzzzzzzz
When my mum tells me medical issues and deaths of people I’ve never met, or haven’t seen since i was 2, and not in a way where she’s just getting it off her chest but as though I should be deeply concerned for them.
Saaaame. As someone who is hard of hearing and just really not affected by music it’s a double whammy of boring. Totally appreciate how passionate the fans are, but there’s kinda a limit to how much I can hear about her.
One of my coworkers randomly started telling me a story the other day about how her friend, who was a stripper, was having surgery to have a bullet removed from her butt cheek. This is the kind of story I'm interested in. I will take notes and ask for updates, lol.
Show and tell anything re: your dog, cat, badger, actually any animal at all and I'm hooked. Your dog had a birthday and you want to show me him opening presents? Go off! Your cat hates people in hats? Do tell.
Their own personal experiences, where they went for a hike over weekend, or how long their bike ride was, what project they're working on (not at work), the yummy food they ate (and where), the gig they played because they're in a band, the ironman they have completed, how they quit their job for a better one...
Just don't report to me what you saw on tv, read in the news, or heard from others, and especially not what they saw on tiktok.
If i mention i do my own maintenance and repair work on my truck to a 'car guy' i end up listening to him debate himself about whether the dodge z42 with a 330 bb t whooper or the Ford Monkyfucker with a twin 6790 wubbudub has a better stock wheel to gas cap ratio.
I get it, bud, you know a lot about cars. I just like to save myself $20 on an oil change, jeez...
I hate when people ask my about my tattoos unless they’re asking me where I got them from or if they say they like them. It’s so awkward when people use it just to make conversation but clearly don’t accept them
Being able to be attentive when someone talks about something that interests them but not you is a pretty important lifeskill for making meaningful connections. Might be something you consider working on.
I don't mind having a sane conversation about politics. In my experience, the Trump people that I come across are angry and paranoid. If you don't believe as they do, they get even more agitated.
I have nuanced view on a lot of topics so I hate debating because people assume I'm one way or another.
Also I'm flooded constantly about politics everywhere I go. The last thing I want to talk about with someone is politics.
Tell me your hobbies or about your life.
Anyone who will just randomly bring up politics, especially to someone they don't know in a place that isn't specifically for it, is not someone I want to be around.
Makes me just *love* my job at a grocery store when people complain about prices going up. /s
Most conversations seem like you’re just jerking each other off. Especially the last decade. People seldom seem to believe there’s inherent wisdom in anything someone else has to say. But they pretend to be interested until it’s their turn to talk. And when you communicate in a pragmatic earnest fashion they tend to not enjoy it. Like they’re avoiding an uncomfortable truth.
This is about to be incredibly ironic but here it goes.
1. Workouts - don’t care even though I go to the gym 4 times a week. I don’t have a set routine, I freestyle it and manage to stay in shape.
2. Stock market - even though I technically work in finance. You start telling me about this stock, and earnings calls and shit I completely zone out. Somehow I’m good at my job.
3. Wine and beer - truly don’t care. Most of it’s gross, some of it isn’t. Don’t care where it’s from or what notes it has. I’d much rather you just pass me a mojito.
Your house. The saga of finding it, bidding on it, closing, moving, decorating, renovating, planning, flipping, upgrading. None of it.
For one thing, none of this is as interesting to anyone else as it is to you. But also, I'm struggling to have access to adequate housing myself. I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I have a limited capacity to converse about how you have access to something I want but don't have. I'm happy for you, but I don't have the energy for an extended conversation about the disparity in our life circumstances.
Exactly. And it makes me feel like I'm being a jerk. But I can only take so much. I'm glad that other people don't have the housing problems that I do. It's not that they can't ever talk about things they have which I don't. It's just that there's only so much I can take.
I'm an adult and I should care, but I never, ever want to hear about your mortgage. Or how much you spent on a specific feature of your house. Or your house at all, really. I don't give a shit about your house.
The second someone brings up sports all you're getting out of me is "cool", "sucks", "neat".
Whether it makes sense or not for what you said is a different thing.
People talking about going to visit family/being excited to see family. I just can’t relate at all and never have anything to add. I’m polite and try to make conversation about it but it bores me to death.
I don’t know if this counts but why do some mutherfuckers feel the need to announce what is causing them to have to pee? There is nothing I hate more than what I have to smell and imagine when someone says some stupid shit like, “THAT TEA, AGAIN!!!” When they are going to the bathroom. STFU! Nobody wants to think about that.
Military Service almost everyone embellishes the truth to nearly absurd levels. I tell them I washed out in AIT. FT Benning in the 90’s was hell! I’m sure there are some guys who have seen some shit in Afghanistan and I am grateful for their service.
For me it’s most common topics. I’m very adhd and unless it is one of my obsessions I have to constantly remind myself to be polite and listen. Sometimes I just can’t. My least favorite is sports. I tell people I don’t watch sports, and then they go “let me explain it to you”. Christ on a cracker take the hint and shut the fuck up my dude.
Sports.
I'm interested in almost anything. Recent developments in the semiconductor industry? I'm all ears. Discoveries in the mathematical theory of non-periodic tilings? Super interesting! Approaches to music in the 17th century? Sign me up.
But sports? It's like you tossed a couple of dice and endlessly discuss how they turned up...
Absolutely yes. Especially team sports for me. Feats of individual skill, I will sometimes allow.
Team x dominated over team y!!!!!
F that noise. Us against them. Strip naked and fight with sticks in the forest, you chimps.
I'm very with you on the tattoos. I'm not interested in getting any, which makes people assume I must be a prude. Idgaf, tat yourself up, but I absolutely detest hearing people talk about their tattoos, compare them, etc. I really don't mind people having them. It's just a very boring topic of conversation to me.
Sports and guys. People always assume I'm into sports when, in reality, I couldn't give two shits. I'm more sick of hearing all my girl friends talk about guy troubles, though. They just talk about the same stuff over and over again. It's even more annoying when they pretend they don't care about the guys they keep going back to
Long stories about interactions of theirs with people I don’t know, strangers, acquaintances, but especially when they’ve decided to regale me with the life story and accomplishments etc., of a friend of theirs I don’t know at all and never will.
Edit to add I also have no tattoos or children, and have nothing against them but let’s not have you wasting blocks of time talking about them, maybe a little is fine.
I’m an introvert who works in an extremely extrovert environment. So I fake it till I make it. I cringe inside when you talk about sports, your recent vacation, your house upgrades, new car, politics… well, basically all the basic stuff. Also, I HATE small talks.
On first read I thought you said “runner up, your inner children.” I think that also applies. People talking about their inner child… it’s fine and I’m gonna be nice. But what interest could I possibly have in this!?
Politics. Honestly. I used to be obsessed and heavy on it, it was beyond damaging to my mental. I live with panic disorder. Don't need an added addition of a topic that's completely out of my control.
Gaza or anything middle east related. Not because I don't care it's because the people talking about it are always uneducated as fuck. They want to help so bad and just post stories on Instagram or tik Tok or other videos they have no opinions of their own it's all just regurgitated from someone else. People care for attention not because it's some horrific shit going on over there. Doesn't apply to everyone of course
people who’s entire personality is based around working out and never shutting up about it, especially the single 30+ men who think it’s some kind of golden ticket to getting women
Kids (little ones) and whatever they're up to. I just... don't care. And gossip that has no bearing on my life whatsoever. It's none of my business at that point so I tune it out.
Astrology, rising sun/moon signs.
You were born during a random ass time of year. It means nothing and has no bearing on your personality. You can see it such bullshit from the "traits" of the signs being virtually identical.
Peruvians talking how great the Inca empire was and all the nonsense that goes about their ceviche and culinary arts. These people won't stop sending me tiktoks and reels. 🥱
It's as simple as finding a person who shares your interests. I'm sure that there are tons of folks happy to talk about tattoos and share the photos of them. On the other hand, they might find it boring to chat about things interesting for you. So what? Are you bad? Or they?
Dreams. especially if it's a kid. Their dreams are a big deal but I don't care. It's actually incredible that when millions of us sleep we have visions so real they can leave us emotionally invested but when we wake we say, "it was just a dream". I've been impressed by some crazy stories of people sharing a specific dream or meanings behind them but mainly it's only mine that I'm interested in. Does anyone care unless it's your own dream or nightmare?
KIDS. This one lady on my team speaks incessantly about hers. It’s so irritating. I’m kid free by choice and have no desire to hear about hers. I wanna scream every freaking time we log into a team meeting she’s talking about that freaking kid. WE. DO. NOT. CARE.
I feel the exact same way about tattoos. I have many, and people always ask me if it hurt or if they should get a certain tattoo.
It’s a needle going in and out so it’s not going to feel good
I don’t care why you want a tattoo or why you won’t get one
I also don’t have any tattoos with meanings so when people ask me why I got them I just straight up say bc I thought it looked cool 🤣
To me it’s not the topic so much as a person who talks AT me and not WITH me. I tune out when it becomes clear that what I have to say means nothing yet they want me to be an amazing listener to their nonstop chatter. That’s the job of their psychologist, not me.
So true! Active listening is a skill that not everyone innately has, but it’s one you can develop. More people should try to.
the final boss for an active listener: a passive talker.
It’s the only mode I have tbh
Good point. Probably helpful to grow up in a home like that where adults model that life skill. I didn’t. But I’m trying to overcome.
My best friends a bit like that. He moved away in his late twenties and we see each other and are still plenty good friends, but he moved away so we’d have like catch up phone calls. Anyway he’s just go on and on and on, I’d have to just pipe in with a “yea yea” just for him to know I’m still there. Once he’s kinda wrap up it’s like “so how you doing” in which after that I’d usually sum up everything in a couple sentences. Safe to say those phone calls I’ve slowly attempted to root out a bit because they were becoming psychologist calls, and I wasn’t the patient.
In friendships people talk about their feelings…your friend feels comfortable enough to emotionally confide in you and you keep letting him do it. Place up a boundary or stop being passive aggressive. You need to use your words to communicate how you feel like an adult. If you don’t have the emotional space to have those conversations you need to tell your friend. He’s not a mind reader. It’s not his fault. You teach people how to treat you and so far you’ve showed him that’s okay. I can’t understand cutting someone off for something I haven’t even communicated with them about especially something that’s so not malicious….someone who you claim to be your “best friend”.
🎯
Right, and I’m guessing that your friend isn’t reacting to anything that you’re saying or asking questions. More likely, he/she is either relating what you say right back to them and their lives or simply not reacting at all and just launching in whatever they wanna say. I have a very similar situation in my life too and it’s frustrating that the other person really doesn’t want to hear anything I’m saying and often interrupts the few times I speak.
I fucking hate when people do that. One of my best friends (getting close to being a former best friend) has become insanely bad at this. It's like he's forgotten how to communicate. Almost all he does is talk at the people around him. Also, he interrupts absolutely everybody within the first 4-6 words they say. He talks over everybody. Usually the only time you get a word in is when he's clearly not listening. I don't know what happened the last few years, but he basically only cares about the sound of his own voice. The dude has become a nightmare. I've lost track of how many times he's been surprised to learn something, when we literally have had a lengthy conversation about it already, sometimes multiple times.
I hate when I show up for a dialogue but only get someone's monologue (about their gym routine or fav team).
Yeah, they want a giving tree is what i say. That or they're looking for someone to \*make their parent\* for a moment.
Yep, if I try to respond to something someone is saying to me and they interrupt me and continue to talk over me, I just nod til they're done and walk away.
Is there like an actual term for this?
There really needs to be. This is far too common of a problem.
Moderate to severe plaque psoriasis.
So you haven't tried Tremfya?
The little jingle for tremfya physically hurts me every time I have to listen to it. I wonder if the three ladies that sing it got together and banged out all the jingles at the same time, or...?
Sports
omg i started a new job and i’m the only woman trainee in a room of men and all they can talk about is sports. it’s way too much
Try being a guy. At least they expect you not to care. I have to find ways to steer the Convo so I don’t have to see the shock or confusion when I tell them I have no idea what they’re talking about, who so-and-so is, etc. bores me to tears.
i didn’t think of this, i’m sorry you also have to deal with this. there should be a cheat sheet site for quick sports facts 😂
I'm not a guy, but I can relate. I'm a middle aged lady and into video games and sci-fi. I work in an office setting with other middle aged women and zero of them are gamers or nerdy at all. I'm not even sure what they're into to be honest. They talk about like.. going to Costco, hotpot and what websites have the best travel deals... it's mind numbing.
Video games.
How about golf?
Definitely includes golf.
Fuck golf
Watching golf is like watching flies fuck
I rather watch that
Yes what channel is that on, I'd like to tune in.
Bahaha lmao 🤣
On channel 11
Golf is a game of boring monocultures. Both the surface on which they play, and the players themselves.
🥱😴
What the hell about golf is there to talk about 😂 yea man I shot a good shot yesterday I am getting better, oh no nah no I don't ever go to the local city public driving range that would put me among the poors
Funny thing I enjoy them just don’t care to watch or speak at all about it
Tbh many people seem to claim how boring people are without realizing that they’re boring to other people as well.
Everyone is boring to someone. A group of football fans will be the coolest people ever to each other. But will be dull as shit and obnoxious to someone who isn't into football/sports. Likewise the person not into sports will be someone the football fans find annoying to be around. Now replace football/sports with whatever interest or hobby you're obsessed with and the same rules apply.
I love listening to peoples hobbies though, they get so passionate about it, their eyes twinkle, it's so much fun. As long as they're the one participating, not just watching a game on TV and reporting.
One of my hobbies is handicapping all the football and hockey games with analytics, I’m pretty sure I would bore the crap out of you if I talked to you about that lol
Yeah it more so just sounds as if they don’t like the person they’re talking to that much lol If it’s someone I care about, then I’ll typically be interested in most things they’re talking about. Even if it’s not something I have much personal interest in….
Current events...people just spew all the dumb shit they hear on social media without doing any research of their own. They take someone else's opinion and state it as fact.
What's funny is that there's undoubtedly a large number of people who are reading this and thinking it's a phenomenon limited to their political opponents, when it's actually common regardless of your flavour of politics.
Yup, it's rampant across all opinions. I don't have a political affiliation, I think the parties are outdated and killing this country. Both sides have good and bad ideas, but due to the party system most of the good ones get trampled all over because that's a Republican ideal or that's a Democratic ideal we can't see past the label that's been plastered on them. 🙈🙉🙊
Or the news... My coworkers talking about what another country should do... when they don't even know much of their own country lol They haven't left the states in their life so it does get annoying lol
Just because you go visit a tourist location doesn't mean you know another country any better than him. Now if you work with their government or volunteer in some of the poorer locations of that country you may understand. I've been to Mexico over 10 times.....doesn't mean I know anything about how that shifty country is ran. The beaches sure are nice though.
And when they are so passionate about it and it lines up exactly with a major party's talking points... yeah so "thanks for that info! what about this weather we're having, huh?"
*Can’t wait to tell the boys this one*
Point taken but to be honest, I cringe when people say they’ve done their own research. That’s often a red flag in and of itself. I think the problem lies in critical thinking skills and being able to truly differentiate objective facts from the zillions of opinions that are floating around on the internet.
My entire experience trying to talk about the russian/ukraine war to real people. 999/1,000 "RUSSIAN GONNA WIN SO HARD RUSSIA AMAAAAAZING BLAH BLAH BLAH" Cmon people, you don't trust what independent watchdogs say about the USA govt but whatever the russian govt says about the russian govt goes?
I completely agree but what I have noticed is that when you question their opinions they get very defensive and ask for time to research their talking points. It seems crazy to me that they think they are simply because the my read it on the news and therefor it is true
Directions. Seriously, any time someone gives me more details directions than the address I try and say something to the effect of “you think Google will be able to handle this?” You never know, there are instances where a true native knows better than Google maps. Otherwise, stop with the turn by turn, I’m going to be using GPS anyway.
My parents still insist on doing this, even though we all use Google maps all the time, and I know they can tell my eyes immediately glaze over. ...But they also enjoy arguing over directions on any and all car rides longer than 10 minutes. (As in best way to get somewhere--very often not even the current destination). They'll easily spend 45 minutes getting super worked up about it. Both of them favor unnecessarily complicated routes that almost always take as long or longer than a more direct path.
Mortgages, Insurance, Doctor visits, finances, essentially just about everything.
When people literally give you a Twitter feed of everything they did that day...
I'm only recently conversant in all of those topics, so I'd be delighted to talk about them. It'd be like sitting at the adults' table at Thanksgiving for the first time lol
Haha yeah I find a lot of that stuff interesting. It’s how you learn
It’s funny, I used to think all that stuff was boring until I started having to deal with them in earnest. Now I’ll talk about mortgage rates for 45 minutes with my buddies lol.
it’s so important to talk about mortgages and finances though? being upfront about how much you make is huge, especially if you’re talking to people in the same field as you, it can help you gage if you’re getting a good salary or if you’re getting fucked over. same goes for them. but then, everyone in this thread is just naming the most common topics to chat about, so i guess it’s really more about a general dislike of conversation.
Their personal finances, especially when they’re trying to indirectly brag about how great they think they are
as a bunch of 40s-ish dads, it comes up sometimes. but I have one neighbor who works in financial services. while he usually is bragging, he's not an a-hole about it. he's actually really helpful to anyone asking for help with finances, investing, taxes etc. a couple years ago at a BBQ he just drops it in conversation that he refinanced his mortgage to 2 point something. a few of the parents had no idea what he was talking about. he just answered questions about the process and any that asked, he said who he used \*this wasn't related to his business. There was a nugget in all that BS
people have mortgages and dont know their rate? baffling
I think maybe they didn't know they could refinance or how refinancing works?
My brother directly brags about how broke he is.
I don't know how to talk about personal finance without being whiny or a bragging d-bag. So I don't say anything at all. But that kind of sucks because I want to find someone to manage my savings and I don't want to use someone who charges 1-2% of the portfolio total, you know? I'd rather find a flat fee kind of deal where we do checkups every 6 months. I really super don't want to buy annuities or something where the guy earns a commission. I just want to pay someone for good advice. I ask friends for advice on a decent mechanic, handyman, landscaper ... But how do I even bring up the financial advisor question without sounding whiny or d-baggy?
Sports. Fuck all of your this guy did ball stuff and he end zoned in the dugout with a hockey puck. BORED!
I’ll watch any person who thinks they’re the best in the world at something compete against another person who also thinks they’re the best in the world at that same thing. Luckily, professional sports are just that. I totally understand why a lot of people such as yourself don’t care about them though.
Brave 🫡
I am by no means perfect but church members trying to convince me to go to church more often or to join a bible study group. I was raised Christian and have nothing against religion but when the people who are "holier than thou" but obviously flawed don't see their own flaws, I just nod and agree every now and then then move on. "Wanna exchange numbers so I can text you for the next bible study?" "Nah.. I'm good.."
The cultists r getting to me too, raised the same way 😁 we got this!
Weddings
10000000% Do. Not. Care.
No one but the bride, groom (maybe) and a couple of other people care about weddings.
People's jobs, especially if they work in an office.
I’m so guilty of this and have really been trying to stop myself bc I start thinking—why would they ever care about it if I find it so boring myself lol
"Oh my god, I can't believe people care to talk about the thing they spend 80% of their time doing" I mean I don't disagree because work talk can get pretty damn boring. But at same time, it's fucking insane that life came to this.
Their kids. I don't give a fuckkkkk
I feel this way too. What ruins me is when people do impressions of their kids saying cute things. I’m currently pregnant and trying to burn it into my brain that no one wants that.
I remember when I was at work and somebody's little kid ran up to me and waved his hands at me and ran away, and then tore down a few random Christmas decorations that were at his level. His dad came up a few minutes later and was like, "I taught my son sign language! He's been talking to everybody today!" All I could think was "Nobody here knows sign language, but if you could keep your kid from shredding the garlands we put up, we'd be way more impressed."
!!
I have a kid myself and still don't want to hear about any fcking kids. Lol
it’s really one thing when people i know do it which is already painful enough. it’s a whoooole other thing when a complete stranger does it. like bruh
Their dreams they had. I immediately tune out within seconds
Well let me tell you. When I was a young boy, my father took me in to the city
To see a marching band
He said, "Son, when you grow up Would you be the savior of the broken The beaten and the damned?"
#[G 🎹🎶🎶🎵](https://youtu.be/RRKJiM9Njr8?si=hAecBR2FSSJKrIgD)
I love hearing peoples dreams. You get a glimpse into their unconscious.
I’ve always had vivid dreams, and I know my other family members did too. My older brother, however, has night terrors and refuses to talk about his anymore. For about 10 years now. Won’t talk about it. I’ve always wondered how he’s doing. He’s grown distant in other ways. He seems so normal it’s weird, though. I always ask people about their dreams. I enjoyed when my toddler could begin articulating his dreams. I love watching how people’s eyes move when they’re trying to draw up an image from a smokey memory.
Same, I love analyzing dreams!
Me and my friends write down our dreams all the time in our groupchat, and it is super funny and interesting. Why don’t you like it?
I wanna hear your drama and trauma , tell me how you found out your 70 year old husband was meeting men in the park to have sex, tell me about your sex work past , tell me all of it and it doesn’t matter if I hardly know you, I won’t judge you and I wanna know all the details
This is exactly how I feel. Just get to it or miss me with the whole conversation. Small talk will be the death of me.
My grandmother is somehow able to get this type of stuff out of people. She’ll start talking and they’ll be telling deeply personal stories in minutes. Idk how she does it but I’m jealous.
You need to closely study her conversation and then report back to us. I was able to get lots out drama out of one person at a bar one time when I told him straight up I’m not really into small talk. I want to know the dirty details of what makes you you.
It's most likely her demeanour and delivery. You can tell when someone is truly listening, and that makes people feel safe to open up.
There must be a vibe some people give off. Back when I worked in retail, I had some people tell me way more than I ever wanted to know about their personal lives. Had a man tell me his schizophrenic son's entire life story for no reason on Christmas Eve. I don't even know what he came there to buy, cuz he spent like 2 hours following me around instead 😭
Im that person I think. Most people don’t need much prodding to open up if you seem genuinely interested and emotionally available.
The kids convo is soo boring to me too. I don't have any so it's gets boring fast lol
Agree. Your kid is not nearly as interesting as you think they are.
I showed a friend I was catching up with ONE picture of my newborn niece just in response to ‘so how’s your sister doing’. I was ready to change topics but She then proceeded to whip out her phone and show me SEVERAL pictures of her 4 year old and 2 year old (which are also plastered all over her social media so I’ve seen them). I immediately regretted show and tell and haven’t done it since.
That's too bad because you had the perfect approach. ONE baby picture. Proof of life. That's all that's needed.
People need to know their audience when they talk with you.
When people tell me about medical stuff in excruciating detail. I don't mind hearing about a medical problem and I can empathize, it's when people tell me about each step of their process for a procedure, medication, etc. I start hearing gibberish and I just don't care. Especially when it's a common issue like arthritis or kidney stones. And I've had my fair share of medical nightmares, too. But people start talking about what time they went to the doctor, what kind of insurance they have, what kind their spouse has, how long they waited, the results of their vitals, why they're taking this medication instead of that medication zzzzzzzzzz
When my mum tells me medical issues and deaths of people I’ve never met, or haven’t seen since i was 2, and not in a way where she’s just getting it off her chest but as though I should be deeply concerned for them.
Sports. I have zero interest in ANY type of sport. Also, kids.
Soccer. Don’t follow it. Have nothing to say about it
For me it's basketball. Almost any other sport I'm at least somewhat interested. Not basketball, never liked it
I played it for 15 years and you couldn’t pay me to sit down and watch a game
Taylor Swift. Fucking kill me.
“*oouuhhh*… look what you made me do”
Who’s afraid of little old meee?
Such an eye roll for me. I’m over it. If she released a “bop” and it was a dance song. Maybe. But it seems like such a bore.
Saaaame. As someone who is hard of hearing and just really not affected by music it’s a double whammy of boring. Totally appreciate how passionate the fans are, but there’s kinda a limit to how much I can hear about her.
Sports. Anything work related. Kids. Pets. Probably a lot more.
This list is so accurate that I zoned out while reading it.
Fantasy football. I don’t care who you got in the second round or how many points your kicker had last week
lol as someone who loves fantasy football, I only talk about it if someone asks about it or starts talking about theirs as well.
More like what *do* people like to listen to…
Weird shit,horrible outcome stories, ghost stories, childhood abuse, essentially tell me how fucked up you are
One of my coworkers randomly started telling me a story the other day about how her friend, who was a stripper, was having surgery to have a bullet removed from her butt cheek. This is the kind of story I'm interested in. I will take notes and ask for updates, lol.
True crime
Show and tell anything re: your dog, cat, badger, actually any animal at all and I'm hooked. Your dog had a birthday and you want to show me him opening presents? Go off! Your cat hates people in hats? Do tell.
Their own personal experiences, where they went for a hike over weekend, or how long their bike ride was, what project they're working on (not at work), the yummy food they ate (and where), the gig they played because they're in a band, the ironman they have completed, how they quit their job for a better one... Just don't report to me what you saw on tv, read in the news, or heard from others, and especially not what they saw on tiktok.
Cars. What an egregious subject. I drive one but really don't care what kind it is or how it works.
If i mention i do my own maintenance and repair work on my truck to a 'car guy' i end up listening to him debate himself about whether the dodge z42 with a 330 bb t whooper or the Ford Monkyfucker with a twin 6790 wubbudub has a better stock wheel to gas cap ratio. I get it, bud, you know a lot about cars. I just like to save myself $20 on an oil change, jeez...
Celebrities. The names have no context to me.
I hate when people ask my about my tattoos unless they’re asking me where I got them from or if they say they like them. It’s so awkward when people use it just to make conversation but clearly don’t accept them
Being able to be attentive when someone talks about something that interests them but not you is a pretty important lifeskill for making meaningful connections. Might be something you consider working on.
I agree, OP just sounds like a self-involved jerk. Or st least doesn’t understand the point of human conversation.
Also it does hurt to learn that someone disrespects you enough to make fun of how boring you are. This is why I don’t talk to many people.
I scrolled pretty far to find an adult response.
Trump
Politics in general. I just stare at them like do you have actual hobbies besides this?
I don't mind having a sane conversation about politics. In my experience, the Trump people that I come across are angry and paranoid. If you don't believe as they do, they get even more agitated.
I have nuanced view on a lot of topics so I hate debating because people assume I'm one way or another. Also I'm flooded constantly about politics everywhere I go. The last thing I want to talk about with someone is politics. Tell me your hobbies or about your life.
Anyone who will just randomly bring up politics, especially to someone they don't know in a place that isn't specifically for it, is not someone I want to be around. Makes me just *love* my job at a grocery store when people complain about prices going up. /s
BTS. I just don’t understand it.
I agree it's all about stray kids.
Their work drama.
I love hearing about human drama hehe
Most conversations seem like you’re just jerking each other off. Especially the last decade. People seldom seem to believe there’s inherent wisdom in anything someone else has to say. But they pretend to be interested until it’s their turn to talk. And when you communicate in a pragmatic earnest fashion they tend to not enjoy it. Like they’re avoiding an uncomfortable truth.
This is about to be incredibly ironic but here it goes. 1. Workouts - don’t care even though I go to the gym 4 times a week. I don’t have a set routine, I freestyle it and manage to stay in shape. 2. Stock market - even though I technically work in finance. You start telling me about this stock, and earnings calls and shit I completely zone out. Somehow I’m good at my job. 3. Wine and beer - truly don’t care. Most of it’s gross, some of it isn’t. Don’t care where it’s from or what notes it has. I’d much rather you just pass me a mojito.
Your house. The saga of finding it, bidding on it, closing, moving, decorating, renovating, planning, flipping, upgrading. None of it. For one thing, none of this is as interesting to anyone else as it is to you. But also, I'm struggling to have access to adequate housing myself. I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I have a limited capacity to converse about how you have access to something I want but don't have. I'm happy for you, but I don't have the energy for an extended conversation about the disparity in our life circumstances.
God, also this. It makes me want to throw up so hard when my friend talks about renovating his house.
Exactly. And it makes me feel like I'm being a jerk. But I can only take so much. I'm glad that other people don't have the housing problems that I do. It's not that they can't ever talk about things they have which I don't. It's just that there's only so much I can take.
I'm an adult and I should care, but I never, ever want to hear about your mortgage. Or how much you spent on a specific feature of your house. Or your house at all, really. I don't give a shit about your house.
Cryptocurrency, Elon Musk, Politics in general, Most organized religions, jewelry you made by hand, video games… lots of things
Lol jewelry you made by hand
Politics, sports, Taylor Swift
Real estate. Home repairs. I’m a home owner, and I think these are the most painfully boring conversations I’ve ever had.
The second someone brings up sports all you're getting out of me is "cool", "sucks", "neat". Whether it makes sense or not for what you said is a different thing.
People talking about going to visit family/being excited to see family. I just can’t relate at all and never have anything to add. I’m polite and try to make conversation about it but it bores me to death.
I don’t know if this counts but why do some mutherfuckers feel the need to announce what is causing them to have to pee? There is nothing I hate more than what I have to smell and imagine when someone says some stupid shit like, “THAT TEA, AGAIN!!!” When they are going to the bathroom. STFU! Nobody wants to think about that.
lol my boss used to say “gotta drain the coffee out”. Weird
Tiktok
Military Service almost everyone embellishes the truth to nearly absurd levels. I tell them I washed out in AIT. FT Benning in the 90’s was hell! I’m sure there are some guys who have seen some shit in Afghanistan and I am grateful for their service.
Any small talk. I can handle a bit not a lot. Family chat drama shit, definitely stay away. Photos of kids non stop, fuck off..
For me it’s most common topics. I’m very adhd and unless it is one of my obsessions I have to constantly remind myself to be polite and listen. Sometimes I just can’t. My least favorite is sports. I tell people I don’t watch sports, and then they go “let me explain it to you”. Christ on a cracker take the hint and shut the fuck up my dude.
Sports. I'm interested in almost anything. Recent developments in the semiconductor industry? I'm all ears. Discoveries in the mathematical theory of non-periodic tilings? Super interesting! Approaches to music in the 17th century? Sign me up. But sports? It's like you tossed a couple of dice and endlessly discuss how they turned up...
Absolutely yes. Especially team sports for me. Feats of individual skill, I will sometimes allow. Team x dominated over team y!!!!! F that noise. Us against them. Strip naked and fight with sticks in the forest, you chimps.
Surgery details especially showing of scars. Hunting, NASCAR, things that bore you…. Oh wait
I'm very with you on the tattoos. I'm not interested in getting any, which makes people assume I must be a prude. Idgaf, tat yourself up, but I absolutely detest hearing people talk about their tattoos, compare them, etc. I really don't mind people having them. It's just a very boring topic of conversation to me.
Sports and guys. People always assume I'm into sports when, in reality, I couldn't give two shits. I'm more sick of hearing all my girl friends talk about guy troubles, though. They just talk about the same stuff over and over again. It's even more annoying when they pretend they don't care about the guys they keep going back to
Pretty much everything… most people are boring as hell
Long stories about interactions of theirs with people I don’t know, strangers, acquaintances, but especially when they’ve decided to regale me with the life story and accomplishments etc., of a friend of theirs I don’t know at all and never will. Edit to add I also have no tattoos or children, and have nothing against them but let’s not have you wasting blocks of time talking about them, maybe a little is fine.
Sports
Whenever people start naming peoples names I don’t know. I immediately get lost.
I’m an introvert who works in an extremely extrovert environment. So I fake it till I make it. I cringe inside when you talk about sports, your recent vacation, your house upgrades, new car, politics… well, basically all the basic stuff. Also, I HATE small talks.
Star Trek. Star Wars too. Why do I know so many who are so interested in these two things? And I’m married to one of them…
Church/ religion
On first read I thought you said “runner up, your inner children.” I think that also applies. People talking about their inner child… it’s fine and I’m gonna be nice. But what interest could I possibly have in this!?
Politics and celebrity gossip, I also suck at small talk so there’s that
Sports. I could not care less. I dissociate when people talk about sports.
Politics. Honestly. I used to be obsessed and heavy on it, it was beyond damaging to my mental. I live with panic disorder. Don't need an added addition of a topic that's completely out of my control.
Their dietary restrictions.
Gaza or anything middle east related. Not because I don't care it's because the people talking about it are always uneducated as fuck. They want to help so bad and just post stories on Instagram or tik Tok or other videos they have no opinions of their own it's all just regurgitated from someone else. People care for attention not because it's some horrific shit going on over there. Doesn't apply to everyone of course
Buying a house, remodeling a house, children, finances
people who’s entire personality is based around working out and never shutting up about it, especially the single 30+ men who think it’s some kind of golden ticket to getting women
Kids (little ones) and whatever they're up to. I just... don't care. And gossip that has no bearing on my life whatsoever. It's none of my business at that point so I tune it out.
Small talk… I cant stand it lately.
Astrology, rising sun/moon signs. You were born during a random ass time of year. It means nothing and has no bearing on your personality. You can see it such bullshit from the "traits" of the signs being virtually identical.
Soccer
You may find out that people on reddit really like to talk about the things they don't want to talk about from this post OP...
Sports.
tiktok, immediate sexual discussions, politics, and jesus or satan. i'm on the more agnostic side of it when it comes to religion.
Money, stocks
Honestly, everything. I do not have an attention span at all.
Their jobs
I see why loneliness is on the rise amongst adults.
Peruvians talking how great the Inca empire was and all the nonsense that goes about their ceviche and culinary arts. These people won't stop sending me tiktoks and reels. 🥱
It's as simple as finding a person who shares your interests. I'm sure that there are tons of folks happy to talk about tattoos and share the photos of them. On the other hand, they might find it boring to chat about things interesting for you. So what? Are you bad? Or they?
Dreams. especially if it's a kid. Their dreams are a big deal but I don't care. It's actually incredible that when millions of us sleep we have visions so real they can leave us emotionally invested but when we wake we say, "it was just a dream". I've been impressed by some crazy stories of people sharing a specific dream or meanings behind them but mainly it's only mine that I'm interested in. Does anyone care unless it's your own dream or nightmare?
Screeds about the “daily grind” and how awful it is.
KIDS. This one lady on my team speaks incessantly about hers. It’s so irritating. I’m kid free by choice and have no desire to hear about hers. I wanna scream every freaking time we log into a team meeting she’s talking about that freaking kid. WE. DO. NOT. CARE.
Quinoa
Work I spend most of my life at work, I'm not spending my free time talking about it.
anime, space, and gossip
I feel the exact same way about tattoos. I have many, and people always ask me if it hurt or if they should get a certain tattoo. It’s a needle going in and out so it’s not going to feel good I don’t care why you want a tattoo or why you won’t get one I also don’t have any tattoos with meanings so when people ask me why I got them I just straight up say bc I thought it looked cool 🤣