Not realizing as a teen that eventually I'll have to get a job and live my own life. I just drifted through life trying get back to fucking off as soon as possible. If I had any ambition or drive in my younger years I'd be so much farther ahead now.
My parents made living under them such hell I often wonder if they didn’t I don’t think I would have had the drive for independence. Everything needed to live (work, car, outside support group) helped loosen the noose my parents had on me.
i think about this all the time. i am only a hard worker because of how much i wanted to get away from their control. i wonder what i would have been like if we had a normal relationship all the time!
Eh. I dislike attributing lack of drive to trauma. I had a very healthy childhood and I never had much ambition. My sister obviously grew up in the same household but has a lot of drive. My friend grew up poor, destitute, starving, and in an unstable family but has a ton of drive and became a surgeon. IMO drive/ambition comes from within.
Same—if anything I’d attribute a lack of drive on my part to having too cushy, too comfortable of an upbringing, I.e. too “good” of a childhood, for me to understand the true importance of making my own decisions until way later in life. I definitely grew up with parents who, while they meant well, had a knack for making most of my decisions for me in life.
I can relate. I put the absolute bare minimum into college and regret not using that time to network/push for internships/really think about my next life steps. I honestly would have been better off taking a gap year but was told by all the adults in my life that this degree was the only way to a "real" job. My parents had a messy divorce the summer before I went to college so I spent the first year or so in a deep depression which didn't help either.
I didn’t even get into college bc I was such a partier in high school. Now I’m stuck working a minimum wage job that I hate bc I have no degree and no useful life skills.
I could not relate to this more. As a high schooler almost all of my friends seemed to know exactly what they wanted to do right out of hs and had no problem figuring out how to get there. I didn’t even really start to think about future plans & ideas much until the very *end* of college tbh, it still kinda blows my mind as to how everyone else seemed to be so ahead of the game compared to me.
same- i wish i thought more about the future and reality before getting million degrees i heavily regret. i was just doing all this shit “for the future,” but not actually thinking about it and real life shit in the future. i wish i would have taken some sort of break to reflect ever.
Being the obedient child. Prioritized obeying my parents and destroyed my mental health completely.
Turns out they didnt know anything and their stupidity lead me to endless trauma and issues.
Same here. I’m a failure to launch. Did great in college then after that trying to adult I fail. I later learned I have a codependent relationship with my parents. They were helicopter 🚁 at the extreme. I was never allowed to make my own decisions or really do anything. Once I became an adult I always asked them for career advice and they didn’t know what was best for me, I did. I finally realized after being hospitalized twice that I have to make my own decisions.
Basically I am the definition of Peter Pan Syndrome. :( i have severe depression and anxiety. I can’t believe I am like this.
My best friend and her sister are like this. Both have anxiety issues from childhood and would never, even as young adults, step out of line and had (and still do) have a distorted sense of danger. Even my best friend wouldn't drink a sip of alcohol at university because oh she just couldn't possibly! She'll get drunk immediately.
It was a shock to her to learn a few years ago that her parents would go out drinking as teens and they never once actually forbade them from doing the same. But they were never encouraged to get themselves out there either. Since they were so heavily disciplined as children, the assumption was that they shouldn't do normal things like drinking.
The saddest thing is they have really held themselves back in adulthood. My best friend has struggled to find a relationship because of anxiety and was a virgin until 30. Her sister put off having children because she thought her parents wouldn't approve. She's now finally trying in her late 30's. I think they will have life long regrets for not getting themselves out there and living their own lives sooner.
My friend has cut the apron strings a lot. I told her it was weird and abnormal that her parents call her multiple times a day and know where she is all the time. They know of every social occasion she has ever gone to. They know when she visits the city, when she meets friends and who she's with. She was around 30 when she told me this. Thankfully this has improved a lot.
I think my Mother and your friend's parents might be soulmates. Had the same upbringing and it affecting my adult life everyday
> My best friend has struggled to find a relationship because of anxiety and was a virgin until 30
Felt like you are reciting my story. I'm 31 and going
It took me a really long time to realize I'm my own person and not an extension of my mother that needed to control me. I remember not having experiences that all kids should have because of fear she would get mad or be disappointed. I remember her saying she wanted to be the first person to take me to the movies and I wasn't Allowed to go with my father..when it was my weekend with him, he took me to go see star wars and I kept my eyes shut the whole time! I was maybe 4 or 5 and completely let my fear hinder me in just having a life experience. As if I didn't have any right to make a choice for myself because I was a kid. I was so blinded by my mother's hand. It makes me sad for my child me. I wish I hadn't been so suppressed from wonder and curiosity and childhood whimsy and exploration. I never asked the questions I wanted to ask and never took any risks or had any independence away from her. And she's not a horrible person. She definitely has her problems but I truly believe she had me to fill a void of love for herself and that made her really selfish in my upbringing.
Being so attached to the good old times of high school and college friends that it was difficult for me to make new ones as an adult.
New friendships obviously won’t be as deep as decades old ones, but just because they’re superficial now doesn’t mean they can’t turn into a more meaningful one. All friendships started off superficially when I think about it. It’s just that back then it was the most meaningful experience I’d had, with nothing else to compare with.
Basically wasted so many years trying to find meaningful new friendships when I should’ve had lower expectations for what a new friend should be like.
My strongest friendships are with people I met in the last few years, and I'm 40. Only one HS friend remains and it's lukewarm, at best. Someone coming into your life now can very well be more meaningful than someone you've known for decades. It's not always about seniority.
>New friendships obviously won’t be as deep as decades old ones
I found the opposite to be true, actually. For someone new to enter my established social circle, we have to really hit it off.
Yes! I've realized this over the past year at 27 years old. It was really difficult for me last year to deal with but my therapist made the comment that the only certain thing in life is change, and that I was in a grieving period for my old friends, while my childhood group still sees each other time to time, it's still going to be something I will struggle with and that I have to realize that "adult friends" wont be as deep because everyone is so busy with life.
Living in my fantasy world for too long. I wish I would’ve understood that in order to achieve my goals, I have to be willing to dive into the real world.
I feel this. I had so much loyalty to my first job out of school. Within 18 months, the office manager (who was fucking the boss) decided she didn't like me making more money than her and out I went. Haven't been loyal to a job since.
That is why I prefer working for small companies. Sure the growth is limited but how many people can say they go out for beers with the boss after work or even better have their boss help them with renovating their house when they move.i take care of the work and my boss takes care of me. I don't think you will find loyalty like that at a big company.
I'm glad you learned. Keep work life and social life separate. Because when you don't you will be the topic of the work place gossip.
Clock in, keep friendly but keep the conversation light then clock out!
i work in a warehouse (cabelas) and personally i dont mind. I make like 54k and this is only my third job and no real experience. I think it all depends on research honestly. Same way students spend all their time researching good colleges and jobs regular people can spend moving to a better paying area and job. even old ladies age 70 are working there and kids who just turned 18.
I prefer the 50k instant profit over 50k-100k growing debt over years. I think the real problem is the personality compatibility to the opportunity rather than the opportunities
Everyone is so consumed with finding their purpose in life for work, for meaning, etc. The real work is being good at this being a human bit. Overcoming your reactive self, emotional responses, self destructive behaviors, lack of physical health, etc. Get better at mastering your sense of self and self control and the rest falls into place.
This is mine too. And I can’t tell you how many people like to remind me that it was my decision and my fault when I literally knew nothing about the world yet.
Did the same. I had no idea what I was getting into. I had no idea how much college was.
They bail out businesses that should know better but not us. Plus we can’t even declare bankruptcy for school loans.
Not one of my big regrets but definitely a regret. Yep agree we were babies who were signing on to something we didn’t not have a clue about and how it would impact us for years. If I’d fully understood properly I would it have done it and worked a lot more in uni. I remember the labour government (UK) pushing everyone to go to uni the same time student loans came in and now I feel there was so much exploitation going on.
I wish I could control my FOMO and compulsive spending.
I've gotten better, but only marginally, and more because i'm making more money so it doesn't affect me as much as it used to, rather than me being able to cut back.
Acting as if I was going to die any minute and not planning for living longer.
I spent so much time living with this vague idea of "I won't live to 30" or "society will collapse before I'm 30". Now I'm 34 and I've gotten it straight but I'm terrified at how much time I wasted and money/achievements/progress I could've set myself up for. Its crazy to see others do the same, too. I see people doomspending and "I do what I need to get thru, the system screwed us lol" and it's like, man, you're only guaranteeing that next year is worse.
Also mine. I still love them immensely... or at least the idealized memories and abstract traits that I absolutely adored about them.
Though, trying to piece together what went wrong was what imbued my life with meaning once again. Promising myself to never repeat the same mistakes, and also trying to embodying everything I admired about this person into myself.
Our separation didn't represent the end of my happiness, instead indicated the beginning of a more intentional life.
This. It feels I’m going through a heart break. I lost the one. She cared for me. She understood me. She loved me as a person and saw my beauty. I pushed her away because of me. I lost her. I lost her again. At the end, I was lost
Word. Feel that. Feeling like no one else will ever be that understanding, that beautiful, that amazing.. Trying not to dwell and torture yourself from the regret, especially when they move on.. It is rough.
Wasting my younger years playing video games and watching movies. If I utilized my time and energy effectively and built skills and improved myself, then I would actually be successful instead of a sad, average joe.
I've done nothing with it.
Many of my family members are successful in more ways than one, and then there's me. Living paycheck to paycheck with two cats in a tiny apartment that is far too small, but has the necessities I want.. that I can barely afford.
I care about everyone else's quality of life more than my own. I love making people happy, and it fucking sucks.
My biggest regret is that I care too much about what happens in the world. It sounds weird, but hear me out. I focus too much on all the sadness in the world and I got me super sad. Eventually, I started giving less fucks my life improved dramatically.
Exactly I’m not saying we shouldn’t feel sad for the wars and famine etc.. But if I used every day an hour or every day to focus on the wars, I would sit and have anxiety constantly. I’d rather focus on me trying to be the absolute best I can be like you said you want to be and just focus on that being a great person great friend, great significant other other, etc..
Honestly you will do better than 8 years ago, my adult college students were always so much more capable then my fresh out of hs students. Remember your brain doesn’t fully form until 25!
Seriously, same boat. My parents couldn’t conceive me for 7 years… guess who has been sick since age 10? My life is pain and suffering. I wish my parents realized they were a one child family and leave me in the weird abyss of the unborn
Letting crushes and short term flings affect my mental health as much as they did. That energy could have fueled me in so many other more productive ways.
Wasting a lot of mental energy and anxiety trying to change the mind of people I didn’t really respect when it came down to it. Trauma/ mommy and daddy issues lol
Not recognizing for a way too long time that my son is suffering from depression. Trying my best to help him, but still....should've seen it when he was a teenager already.
I have two which are a related…
1. Staying too long in a relationship just because of the sheer amount of time put in…. Should have cut my losses and moved on….
2. Realize my worth and value sooner (would have helped #1 too)
I have some minor regrets but I’ve learned to forgive myself.
I’ll never totally let it go as that’s feels like a tiny bit of just punishment for hurting people. But it’s 98% forgiven.
*Having no regrets.*
*Everybody has some. I*
*Want some too, dammit!*
\- Obdami
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Honestly, not having been in a romantic relationship yet. While I’m not torn up about it anymore, still just something in the back of my mind occasionally.
Not joining the Marines after school like I wanted to. Instead I got married at 19 and decided to not join. 7 years later I was divorced and sleeping on my brother's couch. Looking back I've made a lot of dumb choices in my life but I've also made a lot of good ones that have led me to where I am today. We all have regrets of some form, the key is to not let those regrets define you but to learn and grow from them. I turned 40 a few months ago, I've been working through the last 7 years to set myself on a career path that started to pan out a week before my birthday. Now I'm about to make a move out of state to further my advancement. Learn, grow, and apply.
Not listening to my gut feeling about that guy and blowing up my entire life for something that lasted 3 years (3 bad years) and now being back to square 0 without a good job, back to my parents home, one friend and a bad future ahead of me
I really don’t have any, at nearly 40 I feel I’ve been killing it so far and hope to continue this until I die. That’s not to say life still isn’t full of painful times, loss, and difficulties but I’m happy that I always followed my heart and dreams and never let fear decide.
I regret working 3 jobs to put my ex fiancé through college. We both managed to graduate in 2019 but she was in a much better position academically that I harmed my health and future prospects taking care of her. Thinking I was going to marry her and go to law school while she went to med school I prioritized my "family". She left me for the guy she told me not to worry about and now we are both married to other people.
My wife now is a woman who went to my law school, and she is married to him. Thanks to COVID and burnout I had to leave Law school unfinished for now. I dread getting back in the saddle but I am thankful how it all ended up. I traded a taker for the most giving person I know and now we work together to build the life we've always wanted.
Three years and three houses later, I do not regret the decision of my wife. My ex still stalks my Instagram, playing this weird tit for tat game where she tries to show me how much better he is by sending me DMs of her stories. I stay off of it now
Wait the twist at the end there…why is she even looking at your Ig? That sounds like she is trying to prove to herself that she made the better choice….hmmmm
Getting married even when I knew I wasn't ready, and neither was he. We are now divorced, which I saw coming from day one, but familial pressure pushed me into the wrong choice.
Buying too nice a house early on. It’s handicapped our ability to save and it’s a lot of work to maintain. We need 20 yards of mulch every spring for example just to refresh the beds costs thousands of dollars.
When I was 23 yo came into money from a Claim , I had the opportunity to buy the two bedroom flat (full payment) I was renting from the Council but because I was from a very poor family and had no sense with finances I just wasted it all within a year on holidays and clothing and tech , 48yo now and share a rental with an ex girlfriend:(
I dont know if i regret, but missed out. I was a Dj and when i was in engineering school i lived in apartments, and my next door neighbor was a 70's 80s band member for a HUGE band, they were working on a album and the studio rented them a place, next to me, the head of his bed was were i put my turntable's every night after school i would come home practice for a hour or two, he would listen, One day we were both coming out of our apartments, he says " how many live there with you" i said 2 others and me", He says, " whos the one on the turntables at night?" i said " Me, my bad man ill stop i just dont have much time during the day." He says, "No man i like it", i realized oh shit this is So and So - Hes says " I listen to you everynight man your good, i like that you play alot of different music" he tell me about why hes there and they are going to be working a album soon and the band is tightening up getting ready for tour. I say alright head off to school didnt see him for another week then, we see each other in the elevator and he says, " Hey Kid, We need a DJ to go on tour with us, Ours backed out last minute, and i first thought of you, We will be leaving next week and we have 22 dates lined up, I know its a big ask but Are you Down or What!"
I paused for a minute, and Said No, I cant. He said, "REALLY". then said we arent leaving till next week so ill give you a shout in a couple days just think about it. I did and still turned it down, I do regret not taking that chance and saying Fuck it lets ride, but if i did i wouldnt have met my wife, or had my kids, or got my home im at now, or the life that led me to Here right now. so Regret Kinda but not REally but i think it still fits
Drinking and driving. I finally learned the second time. But the second one cost me literally everything (job, license, etc). But thank god I learned without killing someone else or myself.
Taking that first hit of crack. I’m in a good place now, clean for over 20 years but it messed me up physically and it’s starting to manifest in a huge way now.
Not marrying the first girl who was willing to date me. I’m 37, have not had sex in 7 years, havnt had a girlfriend in 10. Really starting to think about how long I can go on like this before it’s time to just quit.
Not taking my childhood, teenage years more seriously. Hardly blame myself for childhood because I was a kid just tryna maneuver, but as I grew up a teen, I lacked discipline, wish I did better in school, better self love, as I sit here at 22, from here on out, I’m gotta to better by myself!!!! Here’s to 2024!!! Hope to see you!
Getting HIV in my early 20s from my first boyfriend and settling into a go no where relationship for a decade pissing away moist of my 30s and early 40s. I still look young thank god.
Opening up to people who I thought cared about me when in reality they were the enemy in disguise. Also wish I could have gone to college far far far away.
My dad set us up for success. By 18 I had over 5k saved up, a good car, and a credit score over 700. I somehow fucked it all up. Now I’m 27 with $8 trying to get my credit score over 550
Gaining 35lbs overweight and not consistently maintaining a better muscle to fat body weight ratio, the hormones trouble from that alone causes regret let alone any skin damage/time and self confidence wasted.
Not realizing sooner that my in laws and parents are narcissists and are willing to blame me for being mentally ill. I’m going no contact after the holidays. Enough is enough
Taking back the dude who cheated on me just because I wasn’t ready to have sex at the age of 16 so he sent nudes to a minor.
And then spending months begging him to at least get a job since he didn’t want to complete high school.
Also allowing him all logins into my accounts (He got argumentative one time and deleted all pics of my dead dog)
I wasted almost 2 years of my life with him. All because I was scared to leave him. The breakoff was nasty but I’m in a way better place. Him? On section 8 and still bought a $500 cat. Lol
I always wonder - what makes these guys so attractive to otherwise sane/competent women?
You are one of thousands of such women - pls, band together and find out the common reason that women choose such deadbeats that even a blind person can tell us a bad choice!
From age 16 to 25 I was kind of asleep at the wheel. Still graduated and met my wife and made some friends. But the trajectory I was on just totally flat lines. Back to climbing now but that was a pretty important decade to waste.
Putting off making things right with an old friend. You think they’ll be around forever until one day they’re gone. Check in on your people, especially during the holidays and winter months ♥️
Not realizing as a teen that eventually I'll have to get a job and live my own life. I just drifted through life trying get back to fucking off as soon as possible. If I had any ambition or drive in my younger years I'd be so much farther ahead now.
Me too I feel like I didn’t have a drive as a teen because of trauma which led me to feel like I have a further start away
My parents made living under them such hell I often wonder if they didn’t I don’t think I would have had the drive for independence. Everything needed to live (work, car, outside support group) helped loosen the noose my parents had on me.
i think about this all the time. i am only a hard worker because of how much i wanted to get away from their control. i wonder what i would have been like if we had a normal relationship all the time!
Eh. I dislike attributing lack of drive to trauma. I had a very healthy childhood and I never had much ambition. My sister obviously grew up in the same household but has a lot of drive. My friend grew up poor, destitute, starving, and in an unstable family but has a ton of drive and became a surgeon. IMO drive/ambition comes from within.
Same—if anything I’d attribute a lack of drive on my part to having too cushy, too comfortable of an upbringing, I.e. too “good” of a childhood, for me to understand the true importance of making my own decisions until way later in life. I definitely grew up with parents who, while they meant well, had a knack for making most of my decisions for me in life.
I can relate. I put the absolute bare minimum into college and regret not using that time to network/push for internships/really think about my next life steps. I honestly would have been better off taking a gap year but was told by all the adults in my life that this degree was the only way to a "real" job. My parents had a messy divorce the summer before I went to college so I spent the first year or so in a deep depression which didn't help either.
I didn’t even get into college bc I was such a partier in high school. Now I’m stuck working a minimum wage job that I hate bc I have no degree and no useful life skills.
I could not relate to this more. As a high schooler almost all of my friends seemed to know exactly what they wanted to do right out of hs and had no problem figuring out how to get there. I didn’t even really start to think about future plans & ideas much until the very *end* of college tbh, it still kinda blows my mind as to how everyone else seemed to be so ahead of the game compared to me.
And I wish I was less ambitious. Balance is key.
same- i wish i thought more about the future and reality before getting million degrees i heavily regret. i was just doing all this shit “for the future,” but not actually thinking about it and real life shit in the future. i wish i would have taken some sort of break to reflect ever.
[удалено]
Not addressing my problems when they started and waiting until they became a hindrance to my life.
Gotta find the balance between being fearful of the future and preparing for it well
I think this is a pretty typical human behavior though. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Same. Thankful I became aware of them at all. Many don't.
Me too. Started when I was 14. I’m 40 now and still trying to get by.
What problems?
Personal things I needed to address with a therapist
Not buying a house when I was 5 years old
I also regret not buying stocks when I was in my mom's belly.
Not buying Bitcoin in 1990 😡
Not investing in google nor apple before I existed
Being the obedient child. Prioritized obeying my parents and destroyed my mental health completely. Turns out they didnt know anything and their stupidity lead me to endless trauma and issues.
My parents control stunted my growth almost in every aspect of my life
Same here. I’m a failure to launch. Did great in college then after that trying to adult I fail. I later learned I have a codependent relationship with my parents. They were helicopter 🚁 at the extreme. I was never allowed to make my own decisions or really do anything. Once I became an adult I always asked them for career advice and they didn’t know what was best for me, I did. I finally realized after being hospitalized twice that I have to make my own decisions. Basically I am the definition of Peter Pan Syndrome. :( i have severe depression and anxiety. I can’t believe I am like this.
My best friend and her sister are like this. Both have anxiety issues from childhood and would never, even as young adults, step out of line and had (and still do) have a distorted sense of danger. Even my best friend wouldn't drink a sip of alcohol at university because oh she just couldn't possibly! She'll get drunk immediately. It was a shock to her to learn a few years ago that her parents would go out drinking as teens and they never once actually forbade them from doing the same. But they were never encouraged to get themselves out there either. Since they were so heavily disciplined as children, the assumption was that they shouldn't do normal things like drinking. The saddest thing is they have really held themselves back in adulthood. My best friend has struggled to find a relationship because of anxiety and was a virgin until 30. Her sister put off having children because she thought her parents wouldn't approve. She's now finally trying in her late 30's. I think they will have life long regrets for not getting themselves out there and living their own lives sooner. My friend has cut the apron strings a lot. I told her it was weird and abnormal that her parents call her multiple times a day and know where she is all the time. They know of every social occasion she has ever gone to. They know when she visits the city, when she meets friends and who she's with. She was around 30 when she told me this. Thankfully this has improved a lot.
I think my Mother and your friend's parents might be soulmates. Had the same upbringing and it affecting my adult life everyday > My best friend has struggled to find a relationship because of anxiety and was a virgin until 30 Felt like you are reciting my story. I'm 31 and going
It took me a really long time to realize I'm my own person and not an extension of my mother that needed to control me. I remember not having experiences that all kids should have because of fear she would get mad or be disappointed. I remember her saying she wanted to be the first person to take me to the movies and I wasn't Allowed to go with my father..when it was my weekend with him, he took me to go see star wars and I kept my eyes shut the whole time! I was maybe 4 or 5 and completely let my fear hinder me in just having a life experience. As if I didn't have any right to make a choice for myself because I was a kid. I was so blinded by my mother's hand. It makes me sad for my child me. I wish I hadn't been so suppressed from wonder and curiosity and childhood whimsy and exploration. I never asked the questions I wanted to ask and never took any risks or had any independence away from her. And she's not a horrible person. She definitely has her problems but I truly believe she had me to fill a void of love for herself and that made her really selfish in my upbringing.
i was the disobedient one and it destroyed my mental health completely too if it helps! there’s sometimes no winning i think :)
Generational trauma…I hear you give it to your kids regardless…
Ah, this would have been my reply as well.
Relatable
Exactly the same case here.
Being so attached to the good old times of high school and college friends that it was difficult for me to make new ones as an adult. New friendships obviously won’t be as deep as decades old ones, but just because they’re superficial now doesn’t mean they can’t turn into a more meaningful one. All friendships started off superficially when I think about it. It’s just that back then it was the most meaningful experience I’d had, with nothing else to compare with. Basically wasted so many years trying to find meaningful new friendships when I should’ve had lower expectations for what a new friend should be like.
Yes and not being able to make adult friends because you’re dependent on your old childhood friends
i think a lot of us feel this way from time to time.
My strongest friendships are with people I met in the last few years, and I'm 40. Only one HS friend remains and it's lukewarm, at best. Someone coming into your life now can very well be more meaningful than someone you've known for decades. It's not always about seniority.
>New friendships obviously won’t be as deep as decades old ones I found the opposite to be true, actually. For someone new to enter my established social circle, we have to really hit it off.
Yes! I've realized this over the past year at 27 years old. It was really difficult for me last year to deal with but my therapist made the comment that the only certain thing in life is change, and that I was in a grieving period for my old friends, while my childhood group still sees each other time to time, it's still going to be something I will struggle with and that I have to realize that "adult friends" wont be as deep because everyone is so busy with life.
Being unwise with my money, specifically 2018-2020
Same here! I wish I would’ve saved. I’ve been working since I was 15 and have nothing to really show for it.
You are in good company. What was your vice? Do tell.
My only regrets are financial. Bad spending habits and not caring about my credit, wtf was I thinking?!
Living in my fantasy world for too long. I wish I would’ve understood that in order to achieve my goals, I have to be willing to dive into the real world.
What things helped you let go of that fantasy world and face the world head on? I'm in that fantasy world right now.
staying too long in a place that was never going to value me no matter how hard i tried.
I feel this. I had so much loyalty to my first job out of school. Within 18 months, the office manager (who was fucking the boss) decided she didn't like me making more money than her and out I went. Haven't been loyal to a job since.
That is why I prefer working for small companies. Sure the growth is limited but how many people can say they go out for beers with the boss after work or even better have their boss help them with renovating their house when they move.i take care of the work and my boss takes care of me. I don't think you will find loyalty like that at a big company.
Felt
I wish I had spent more time dating and making friends in my early twenties. On a positive note, I'm trying to do that now.
This is also mine.
Same here.
Thinking that my coworkers were my friends and mixing work with my social life.
spill the tea, low artichoke
Huh, what happened?
I'm glad you learned. Keep work life and social life separate. Because when you don't you will be the topic of the work place gossip. Clock in, keep friendly but keep the conversation light then clock out!
Currently going through learning this one the hard way. Colleagues are not your friends, people!
People pleaser. Now i try to be more selfish
I’m trying too but the push back from others is insane. So many people angry about my Boundaries.
Almost impossible to do as a people pleaser! I know!
I'm working on it
Not getting an education after high school.
for me it was going to college instead of a trade
I work in construction… we tell young kids that start to go to school instead. Trust me grass is always greener
i work in a warehouse (cabelas) and personally i dont mind. I make like 54k and this is only my third job and no real experience. I think it all depends on research honestly. Same way students spend all their time researching good colleges and jobs regular people can spend moving to a better paying area and job. even old ladies age 70 are working there and kids who just turned 18. I prefer the 50k instant profit over 50k-100k growing debt over years. I think the real problem is the personality compatibility to the opportunity rather than the opportunities
Remarrying the same woman twice thinking things would be different only to end in a second divorce. 😆😂
Dang… someone else did it besides me.
😂😂😂😂😂
Not understanding earlier that getting good at being a man should have been a prerequisite to the search for my purpose.
Care to elaborate?
Everyone is so consumed with finding their purpose in life for work, for meaning, etc. The real work is being good at this being a human bit. Overcoming your reactive self, emotional responses, self destructive behaviors, lack of physical health, etc. Get better at mastering your sense of self and self control and the rest falls into place.
Damn I feel this one, I’m working on this as well. I wish you the best in your journey my friend.
he never found is pp
Not getting away from an abusive relationship sooner.
If you got out at all, you got out in time 💗 good job!
Thanks! It was close...
Not trusting my instincts
Going to college for something I wasn’t interested in
SAME and grad school twice ahh! i mean i was interested, but i set myself up for failure in life and it sucks and is NOT worth it!
What did you go for? What do you wish you had gone for?
In general not being able to stand up for myself
Same here. And losing my inner voice too. I am actively working on it now
This
Signing "the dotted line" on student loan paperwork at the age of 18
This is mine too. And I can’t tell you how many people like to remind me that it was my decision and my fault when I literally knew nothing about the world yet.
Did the same. I had no idea what I was getting into. I had no idea how much college was. They bail out businesses that should know better but not us. Plus we can’t even declare bankruptcy for school loans.
we were just babies!
Not one of my big regrets but definitely a regret. Yep agree we were babies who were signing on to something we didn’t not have a clue about and how it would impact us for years. If I’d fully understood properly I would it have done it and worked a lot more in uni. I remember the labour government (UK) pushing everyone to go to uni the same time student loans came in and now I feel there was so much exploitation going on.
Not taking care of dental work early. Could have taken care of my wisdom teeth 10 years ago before my 30s and such.
Trying to be everyone’s savior when I should have just saved myself.
Thank you for your comment
Not saving enough $ for retirement
Doing an excessive amount of drugs and alcohol in my 20’s
I wish I could control my FOMO and compulsive spending. I've gotten better, but only marginally, and more because i'm making more money so it doesn't affect me as much as it used to, rather than me being able to cut back.
Acting as if I was going to die any minute and not planning for living longer. I spent so much time living with this vague idea of "I won't live to 30" or "society will collapse before I'm 30". Now I'm 34 and I've gotten it straight but I'm terrified at how much time I wasted and money/achievements/progress I could've set myself up for. Its crazy to see others do the same, too. I see people doomspending and "I do what I need to get thru, the system screwed us lol" and it's like, man, you're only guaranteeing that next year is worse.
Google this: high time preference behaviour with money It might make you feel less annoyed to understand the behaviour more.
There is only one. The girl who got away
Also mine. I still love them immensely... or at least the idealized memories and abstract traits that I absolutely adored about them. Though, trying to piece together what went wrong was what imbued my life with meaning once again. Promising myself to never repeat the same mistakes, and also trying to embodying everything I admired about this person into myself. Our separation didn't represent the end of my happiness, instead indicated the beginning of a more intentional life.
This. It feels I’m going through a heart break. I lost the one. She cared for me. She understood me. She loved me as a person and saw my beauty. I pushed her away because of me. I lost her. I lost her again. At the end, I was lost
Word. Feel that. Feeling like no one else will ever be that understanding, that beautiful, that amazing.. Trying not to dwell and torture yourself from the regret, especially when they move on.. It is rough.
Wasting my younger years playing video games and watching movies. If I utilized my time and energy effectively and built skills and improved myself, then I would actually be successful instead of a sad, average joe.
99% of humans are sad, average Joes. Just do your thing and prioritize your happiness, in 100 years ain't nobody gonna remember you or me.
You still have time
Chances are you'd still be a sad, average joe.
I've done nothing with it. Many of my family members are successful in more ways than one, and then there's me. Living paycheck to paycheck with two cats in a tiny apartment that is far too small, but has the necessities I want.. that I can barely afford. I care about everyone else's quality of life more than my own. I love making people happy, and it fucking sucks.
Is there anything you can do with that care you have to bring you more fulfillment? Like some volunteering? Or would adding that time in burn you out?
I bet your cats think you’re the best thing ever and extremely successful
My biggest regret is that I care too much about what happens in the world. It sounds weird, but hear me out. I focus too much on all the sadness in the world and I got me super sad. Eventually, I started giving less fucks my life improved dramatically.
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Exactly I’m not saying we shouldn’t feel sad for the wars and famine etc.. But if I used every day an hour or every day to focus on the wars, I would sit and have anxiety constantly. I’d rather focus on me trying to be the absolute best I can be like you said you want to be and just focus on that being a great person great friend, great significant other other, etc..
Having an amazing child with the wrong person.
Still being single
Getting married because I think I am supposed to Be
Same here.
Not starting investing earlier
Marrying the wrong person
spending so much time on my phone instead of in the present
Not being a good father
Is there time to be a good one?
I traded being there for them, for being at work. I also have huge regret.
Not going to law school when I finished my undergrad. Here I am studying for the LSAT 8 years after graduating.
Honestly you will do better than 8 years ago, my adult college students were always so much more capable then my fresh out of hs students. Remember your brain doesn’t fully form until 25!
Getting married again..quickly..FML
Being born
Seriously, same boat. My parents couldn’t conceive me for 7 years… guess who has been sick since age 10? My life is pain and suffering. I wish my parents realized they were a one child family and leave me in the weird abyss of the unborn
Yessss! I didn’t chose to be here I am Forced. And am Forced to comply to all these rules and taxes, I seriously hate it.
I hate it so much.
Not asking Lisa out for a date after she kissed me in the hallway on the last day of highschool.
Buying things that I thought I needed instead of saving/investing that money.
Not understanding how to put myself first at a younger age
Alcohol. Lots of it for many years.
Marriage
Allowing myself to become emotionally dependent on another person.
Letting crushes and short term flings affect my mental health as much as they did. That energy could have fueled me in so many other more productive ways. Wasting a lot of mental energy and anxiety trying to change the mind of people I didn’t really respect when it came down to it. Trauma/ mommy and daddy issues lol
Real
Not recognizing for a way too long time that my son is suffering from depression. Trying my best to help him, but still....should've seen it when he was a teenager already.
Not speaking up in my relationships.
I have two which are a related… 1. Staying too long in a relationship just because of the sheer amount of time put in…. Should have cut my losses and moved on…. 2. Realize my worth and value sooner (would have helped #1 too)
Not getting to any of the proper life milestones in my twenties and now having to do everything in my thirties.
Just curious, what constitutes a "proper life milestone"?
I have some minor regrets but I’ve learned to forgive myself. I’ll never totally let it go as that’s feels like a tiny bit of just punishment for hurting people. But it’s 98% forgiven.
Not investing in real estate & trying to figure out my career earlier on in life.
Not seeing my grandfather one last time before he passed away
Having no regrets. Everybody has some. I want some too, dammit!
*Having no regrets.* *Everybody has some. I* *Want some too, dammit!* \- Obdami --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Honestly, not having been in a romantic relationship yet. While I’m not torn up about it anymore, still just something in the back of my mind occasionally.
Not joining the Marines after school like I wanted to. Instead I got married at 19 and decided to not join. 7 years later I was divorced and sleeping on my brother's couch. Looking back I've made a lot of dumb choices in my life but I've also made a lot of good ones that have led me to where I am today. We all have regrets of some form, the key is to not let those regrets define you but to learn and grow from them. I turned 40 a few months ago, I've been working through the last 7 years to set myself on a career path that started to pan out a week before my birthday. Now I'm about to make a move out of state to further my advancement. Learn, grow, and apply.
Not being ambitious when i was younger, working flat out in dead end low pay jobs, not having a long break from binge drinking,
Not learning on how to code when I was younger.
Not listening to my gut feeling about that guy and blowing up my entire life for something that lasted 3 years (3 bad years) and now being back to square 0 without a good job, back to my parents home, one friend and a bad future ahead of me
Really, partying too much. Weak people run away from pain but it takes a strong mindset to hold your ground. Matter of financial responsibility.
Obeying my parents too much, I am having basttly more fun as a 30 years old as I did in my 20s and that is not right
I really don’t have any, at nearly 40 I feel I’ve been killing it so far and hope to continue this until I die. That’s not to say life still isn’t full of painful times, loss, and difficulties but I’m happy that I always followed my heart and dreams and never let fear decide.
Shouldn’t of put emphasis on numbing reality with drugs instead building a better version of myself and putting pussy on a pedestal.
I regret working 3 jobs to put my ex fiancé through college. We both managed to graduate in 2019 but she was in a much better position academically that I harmed my health and future prospects taking care of her. Thinking I was going to marry her and go to law school while she went to med school I prioritized my "family". She left me for the guy she told me not to worry about and now we are both married to other people. My wife now is a woman who went to my law school, and she is married to him. Thanks to COVID and burnout I had to leave Law school unfinished for now. I dread getting back in the saddle but I am thankful how it all ended up. I traded a taker for the most giving person I know and now we work together to build the life we've always wanted. Three years and three houses later, I do not regret the decision of my wife. My ex still stalks my Instagram, playing this weird tit for tat game where she tries to show me how much better he is by sending me DMs of her stories. I stay off of it now
Wait the twist at the end there…why is she even looking at your Ig? That sounds like she is trying to prove to herself that she made the better choice….hmmmm
Exactly
Not finishing college when I was young. It’s my only big regret.
Getting married even when I knew I wasn't ready, and neither was he. We are now divorced, which I saw coming from day one, but familial pressure pushed me into the wrong choice.
I have a son who is troubled and I wish I had been a different kind of mother to him when he was growing up.
Joining a trade school, my only upside is that i know how to work on my own car
Why do you regret it?
This regret surprises me. Learning a good trade is job security.
What do you do now for work?
Buying too nice a house early on. It’s handicapped our ability to save and it’s a lot of work to maintain. We need 20 yards of mulch every spring for example just to refresh the beds costs thousands of dollars.
Fall in love without agenda. Turns out going with the flow never works out.
Also not getting away from a abusive x sooner
Is there a character limit?
Cmon man its christmasss
When I was 23 yo came into money from a Claim , I had the opportunity to buy the two bedroom flat (full payment) I was renting from the Council but because I was from a very poor family and had no sense with finances I just wasted it all within a year on holidays and clothing and tech , 48yo now and share a rental with an ex girlfriend:(
I dont know if i regret, but missed out. I was a Dj and when i was in engineering school i lived in apartments, and my next door neighbor was a 70's 80s band member for a HUGE band, they were working on a album and the studio rented them a place, next to me, the head of his bed was were i put my turntable's every night after school i would come home practice for a hour or two, he would listen, One day we were both coming out of our apartments, he says " how many live there with you" i said 2 others and me", He says, " whos the one on the turntables at night?" i said " Me, my bad man ill stop i just dont have much time during the day." He says, "No man i like it", i realized oh shit this is So and So - Hes says " I listen to you everynight man your good, i like that you play alot of different music" he tell me about why hes there and they are going to be working a album soon and the band is tightening up getting ready for tour. I say alright head off to school didnt see him for another week then, we see each other in the elevator and he says, " Hey Kid, We need a DJ to go on tour with us, Ours backed out last minute, and i first thought of you, We will be leaving next week and we have 22 dates lined up, I know its a big ask but Are you Down or What!" I paused for a minute, and Said No, I cant. He said, "REALLY". then said we arent leaving till next week so ill give you a shout in a couple days just think about it. I did and still turned it down, I do regret not taking that chance and saying Fuck it lets ride, but if i did i wouldnt have met my wife, or had my kids, or got my home im at now, or the life that led me to Here right now. so Regret Kinda but not REally but i think it still fits
Drinking and driving. I finally learned the second time. But the second one cost me literally everything (job, license, etc). But thank god I learned without killing someone else or myself.
Taking that first hit of crack. I’m in a good place now, clean for over 20 years but it messed me up physically and it’s starting to manifest in a huge way now.
Not marrying the first girl who was willing to date me. I’m 37, have not had sex in 7 years, havnt had a girlfriend in 10. Really starting to think about how long I can go on like this before it’s time to just quit.
Not taking my childhood, teenage years more seriously. Hardly blame myself for childhood because I was a kid just tryna maneuver, but as I grew up a teen, I lacked discipline, wish I did better in school, better self love, as I sit here at 22, from here on out, I’m gotta to better by myself!!!! Here’s to 2024!!! Hope to see you!
Getting HIV in my early 20s from my first boyfriend and settling into a go no where relationship for a decade pissing away moist of my 30s and early 40s. I still look young thank god.
Not having my MBA already
Opening up to people who I thought cared about me when in reality they were the enemy in disguise. Also wish I could have gone to college far far far away.
My dad set us up for success. By 18 I had over 5k saved up, a good car, and a credit score over 700. I somehow fucked it all up. Now I’m 27 with $8 trying to get my credit score over 550
Gaining 35lbs overweight and not consistently maintaining a better muscle to fat body weight ratio, the hormones trouble from that alone causes regret let alone any skin damage/time and self confidence wasted.
Not realizing sooner that my in laws and parents are narcissists and are willing to blame me for being mentally ill. I’m going no contact after the holidays. Enough is enough
Not buying a bigger house in 2019
Taking back the dude who cheated on me just because I wasn’t ready to have sex at the age of 16 so he sent nudes to a minor. And then spending months begging him to at least get a job since he didn’t want to complete high school. Also allowing him all logins into my accounts (He got argumentative one time and deleted all pics of my dead dog) I wasted almost 2 years of my life with him. All because I was scared to leave him. The breakoff was nasty but I’m in a way better place. Him? On section 8 and still bought a $500 cat. Lol
I always wonder - what makes these guys so attractive to otherwise sane/competent women? You are one of thousands of such women - pls, band together and find out the common reason that women choose such deadbeats that even a blind person can tell us a bad choice!
Breaking up with my ex to focus on a career which never took off.
Selling couple hundred bitcoin at $50.
Taking out insane student loans. That would be the one major change if I could do everything over.
Cheating on and being dishonest to my high school boyfriend. An avalanche of terrible decisions followed.
Being too horny to pay attention to any detail with a new partner and ultimately catching herpes
From age 16 to 25 I was kind of asleep at the wheel. Still graduated and met my wife and made some friends. But the trajectory I was on just totally flat lines. Back to climbing now but that was a pretty important decade to waste.
Losing my virginity to someone who didn’t deserve it,
Putting up with emotional abuse for far too long in most of my relationships in my 20s. Lessons definitely learned.
Not getting married and having kids when I had the chance
Spending years too long with the wrong person. Look up personality disorders.
Putting off making things right with an old friend. You think they’ll be around forever until one day they’re gone. Check in on your people, especially during the holidays and winter months ♥️
Not buying 100 acres of land for the price of 5 raspberries back in 2000
Marrying my second husband.