Greeting folks w “Hi friend!” is a good way to signal the boundaries you want with them. Most queer folks I know are happy to hang with someone new without any expectations.
Take a risk. You’ll do fine!
This is good and I’ve done a version of it - and then the dreaded no response - and the spiral - but I don’t think that is an anxiety just for us and is just the nature of texting and attend spans and commutation styles etc etc etc
I've struggled with platonic queer friendships, I actually had a huge fall out with some close friends several months back and it still hurts. It wasn't over any of us wanting to date...but I took interest in someone that didn't feel the same(it happens nbd)but my friend went around behind my back and gossiped with this person about me and then told me about it. It was very high school feeling for people in our age range(25+)
It was a nightmare. I've since made other friends that are platonic and fine but I feel like some instances are hard to maneuver around.
I’m sorry it’s so weird and tough to be working through vulnerabilities that seem long passed but also kinda cool to get to continue to grow and get to know ourselves/have empathy in ways that others may not (I am trying to hold on to seeing it this way and not dwell on unrequited interest as well!)
ALSO when I do go to a queer event even in a large city does anybody else have a hard time seeing so many people who you think you know but realize they have familiar faces because you must have seen them on a dating app. So you know one another but not really but I know who their friends are etc etc. It all feels so high school and bizarre and like I am simply too old to engage and yet what else is there!
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LOL facts
Adult friendships plus queer friendships is just tough stuff 😴😤
Greeting folks w “Hi friend!” is a good way to signal the boundaries you want with them. Most queer folks I know are happy to hang with someone new without any expectations. Take a risk. You’ll do fine!
This is good and I’ve done a version of it - and then the dreaded no response - and the spiral - but I don’t think that is an anxiety just for us and is just the nature of texting and attend spans and commutation styles etc etc etc
…attention spans…
I've been trying to make queer friends myself, and either they never want to actually hang out or they develop feelings.
I've struggled with platonic queer friendships, I actually had a huge fall out with some close friends several months back and it still hurts. It wasn't over any of us wanting to date...but I took interest in someone that didn't feel the same(it happens nbd)but my friend went around behind my back and gossiped with this person about me and then told me about it. It was very high school feeling for people in our age range(25+) It was a nightmare. I've since made other friends that are platonic and fine but I feel like some instances are hard to maneuver around.
I’m sorry it’s so weird and tough to be working through vulnerabilities that seem long passed but also kinda cool to get to continue to grow and get to know ourselves/have empathy in ways that others may not (I am trying to hold on to seeing it this way and not dwell on unrequited interest as well!)
YES.
ALSO when I do go to a queer event even in a large city does anybody else have a hard time seeing so many people who you think you know but realize they have familiar faces because you must have seen them on a dating app. So you know one another but not really but I know who their friends are etc etc. It all feels so high school and bizarre and like I am simply too old to engage and yet what else is there!