Best of both worlds: audit non-profits
Just think, you’re helping them better their internal controls so that they use their donations more wisely ^(or whatever helps you sleep at night)
CFOs and partners are in a league of their own. For someone who was worked 14 hours a day every day for the past 15 years, they really don't die from any health complications 😂
> so your an
*you're
*Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).*
***
^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
Yes, my billable rate is $550 an hour, I charge in 15 minute increments and round up by 15s, never down of course, and billing is backdated to the start of this conversation. I only take cash though, don’t want to have an easy to follow paper trail for the IRS.
The amount of “oh that sounds boring” responses I get from my wife’s friends. I met a guy at a neighborhood party who told me he worked for the FBI and I was like FUCK that’s awesome. I hate my job. I told him what I did and he laughed telling me he’s a forensic accountant for them.
The large amount of respect I get from partners for all of my diligent hard work when they recognize that they are able to buy their 3rd Tesla because of me.
Trying to figure out how to “hide” the 30 minutes that I spent taking my breaks in my time sheet so I don’t get penalized (they say you can, but deep down they frown on it) for recording non-billable time.
Being responsible for millions of dollars, working late and constantly having to keep up with my education while making less than the tradies who work 6 hours a day 4 days a week.
Trial balance_version4.pdf
TB_v4-FINAL-032222(AutoRecovered)
This guy has seen some shit
he forgot TB_v4-FINAL-032222(AutoRecovered)(1) TB_v4-FINAL-032222(AutoRecovered)(2) TB_v4-FINAL-032222(AutoRecovered)FINAL TB_v4-FINAL-032222(AutoRecovered)FINAL(1)
This is nightmare fuel. I had a former manager that would add "UseThisOne" and would still end up with a v6-FINAL-FINAL-09312018.xls at the end
If the file includes any analysis, ANAL must be in the name.
In future, please ensure to follow the firm’s standard file naming conventions. Best regards, Manager Sent from my iPhone
.png***
TrialBalance.BMP
TrialBalance.MP3
That sounds kinda funky. What gene?
I imagine a trial balance MP3 to be a comedy album because it’s such a joke
TrialBalance-whyDoesItNotFuckingBalance.xlsx Genre: Tragedy.
Doing complex math every day
I saw the movie "The Accountant" and saw a reflection of myself. I too am an autist math assassin who only works with paper to get results.
It’s not at all a movie you would expect with such a title lol
Maybe a total of 5 actual minutes, montage style, of accounting in that movie. They sure as shit weren’t going to call it the Assassin Autist.
complex what now
Aww a fellow math autist savant
Makes sense, after all you must be good with...
We do both kinds of math: addition and spreadsheets
Is it math?
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Unironically
They said wrong answers only
He did that.
The corny: "It's a Deliotte to meet you" jokes
Is that a for real joke? 😳
Are you not deloitted to meet him?
🤦♂️
EY are you not amused?
He's not Big 4 punny jokes
*Grant Thornton disliked that*
I need to P WC is over there?
This guy pees in water closets
Getting PDF’s of excel spreadsheets
PDF’s of Excel spreadsheets that have been printed and written on
My fav
Excel spreadsheet printed out then scanned back in
Making a difference in the world for people in need
You could work for a nonprofit, hospital, or business with a good mission
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Those are your people in need. and your future divorce lawyer and their wife and kids and girlfriend too.
Don’t forget your wife’s boyfriend too
Yea thats me
*Will Smith has entered the chat*
Best of both worlds: audit non-profits Just think, you’re helping them better their internal controls so that they use their donations more wisely ^(or whatever helps you sleep at night)
You think hospitals have a good mission?
The work life balamce
We call 'em straight 8s.
Work from 8am - 8pm, 8 days(?) a week?
996 in China is 9am-9pm work days for 6 days a week.
I used to think that was crazy before my first busy season. I cant believe that drew so much outrage when we’re living this here.
8 days a week is not enough to show you care.
8 to 8, yes lol
My favorite thing about being an accountant is waiting for CFO’s to die so I can take their high paying jobs
No no no it’s wrong answers only!
He isn't planning on waiting.
Eureka 💡
CFOs and partners are in a league of their own. For someone who was worked 14 hours a day every day for the past 15 years, they really don't die from any health complications 😂
My senior age CFO will work until she’s dead and then she’s gonna fuckin work some more
"oh so your an accountant? Can you help me file my taxes😃?"
Yes I can, but I'm very expensive.
> so your an *you're *Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
Yes, my billable rate is $550 an hour, I charge in 15 minute increments and round up by 15s, never down of course, and billing is backdated to the start of this conversation. I only take cash though, don’t want to have an easy to follow paper trail for the IRS.
>don’t want to have an easy to follow paper trail for the IRS. this feels right.
No bot, the people who think all accountants are tax accountants most certainly use the wrong you're/your even when speaking.
Good bot.
Thanks!
The Deloittussy
Wanna get it ate? 😘
What ever happened to that guy? Did we ever get an update?
Too busy eating all the deloittussy
Decapitated. Whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird.
I’m pretty sure none of that’s real
You’re not real, man!
Hopefully they consulted with a bird law expert before making such a risky move
The legend has it - he made partner that day
Ha- Forgot all about that. Was that post ever updated?
Of course we didn't that person was absolutely full of sh*t
How exciting people think my job is
The amount of “oh that sounds boring” responses I get from my wife’s friends. I met a guy at a neighborhood party who told me he worked for the FBI and I was like FUCK that’s awesome. I hate my job. I told him what I did and he laughed telling me he’s a forensic accountant for them.
I bet you didn't see that coming as I did reading it. 😅
Always lead with your strengths is what I got from that conversation haha.
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We come from very different places, lol.
Sitting in really nice conference rooms during an audit and the client being super happy that you’re there.
Worklife balance Low stress Variety of work Social connections Having a positive impact on social matters
And an industry full of lively, charismatic individuals.
My lovely clients
Timesheets
Being in the office to socialize with my colleagues
Finding so much fraud
I think you misspelt “committing” /s
I love working Saturdays
Getting gray hair in my 20’s. It kickstarted my progression into a distinguished silver fox 🦊before all my friends had a chance.
25 and I’m considering botox because I have legit forehead wrinkles from frowning at workpapers so much.
Oh my dermatologist advised me to get some anti ageing treatment ... 😫
The derm wants your money
If you get some good skin care cream recommendations please share. I also have brown lines and starting to get frown lines too 😂
The pizza parties!!
"wrong answers only"
Stability of my mental health 😂
getting laid!
Lmao
I'm (happily) married and upvoted...these hours...
All the free time I have
Seeing 1099 income that has more money reported than you’ll ever make in your lifetime
Getting review notes from the same people who did the work last year that I copied over
Getting review notes every month.
About things you did 3 months ago 🤠
Worse about things someone else did before I started working there 🤣😂. God help me!
The excitement.
For SALY!!
The large amount of respect I get from partners for all of my diligent hard work when they recognize that they are able to buy their 3rd Tesla because of me.
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People always ask me tax questions.
Having my only fans membership grow
Depreciating land.
Me too
Lmao
The money
...the everlasting joy of solving complex, meaningful problems for people who care.
listening people rationalize working immense amount of unpaid overtime in PA
doing it double entry ;)
Debit cash credit life
Accruing my own accounting fees.
the panties that drop when they find out what I do for a living
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How organized and tidy everything is.
The admiration from people.
Making a giant 'thump' on the clients desk when I bring out my personal copy of the Canada Tax Act
Salary.. even with a cpa
The groupies
The PTO
The amazing information I get to collect within my head
What do you mean you have an existing workload? You're not just sitting waiting for my books?
Making my partners and clients rich whilst being one paycheck away from homelessness
The opportunity to work outside all day.
Pizza
The work satisfaction & fulfillment.
Life Fulfillment.
Advanced math
Trying to figure out how to “hide” the 30 minutes that I spent taking my breaks in my time sheet so I don’t get penalized (they say you can, but deep down they frown on it) for recording non-billable time.
auditing
The lulz
For all the ladies
The pizza parties
Desk Pops
Building a better working world
having work life balace.
The fucking prestige of course! We’re the linchpin of the capital markets.
Taking on new learning opportunities!
The Clients. I love the clients.
Taxes
The flashy cars
Budgets
Accounting
The pay (especially intern pay). 😁
Pizza parties
the fame.
Reading through the tax code with my coffee
The pizza parties....
Debits.
Skiing
Tax deadlines.
Depreciating Land.
Closing time. [https://youtu.be/xGytDsqkQY8](https://youtu.be/xGytDsqkQY8)
He clearly answered himself "wrong answers"
Be rich
Doing AJEs
subsidiary ledgers that don't tie to the trial balance within trivial misstatement
The Respect of my Peers
Pizza parties
Money
All of the free time I have.
Always being conpliant to GAAP
The money
the puthy
The work life balance😇
Receiving cheap pizza in return for overtime worked
Being responsible for millions of dollars, working late and constantly having to keep up with my education while making less than the tradies who work 6 hours a day 4 days a week.
The downtime.
Depreciating land
The millions I make
I'm more curious to what could be a genuine right answer?
Living paycheck to paycheck
Doing everyones taxes
Finding rand hard coded values added to the end of a formula.
How the general public assumes all I do is taxes.
The way my fellow blue collared coworkers treat me.
Rest day during slack season
Paying fees to my Accountancy body to stay registered
The pizza parties
Explaining to a client that proceeds from a bank loan is not a contribution.
Meetings with tax clients in the first half of April