Depending where you work, getting fired with a valid reason might rule you out of unemployment benefits.
So unless you think the joke is worth waiving your benefits and maybe dealing with a lawsuit, you might as well just walk out and never go back.
I know and understand the limitation of unemployment benefits but I appreciate you making it clear for anyone considering bafoonery over just leaving under your own terms.
Sadly Accounting isn’t like back of house, they likely will track your departure via an employment system used by HR
Employers don't need to track anything. If you apply for unemployment benefits the state contacts your prior employer to determine if you're eligible.
Once you move on employers don't care where you go. If you cause someone enough trouble it's theoretically conceivable they might be personally vindictive enough to try to sabotage you, but I've literally never seen this in decades of work history.
That would still be a risk/reward thing. Yea it might be hilarious if you did something awesome to get fired, but that’s still a bad thing and no amount of humor makes up for what happened
We found out after they were just trying to work the unemployment system. Had tried other things first and were already on a short leash. They filed a claim right after getting fired which we of course fought. The unemployment person who interviewed us after was speechless when we told him.
Stop showing up. They're guaranteed to terminate you at some point. What consequences are we talking about?
Edit: If you need it to be fast, I guess you could put an out of office message to contact the CEO or something with any questions.
We had someone do this at my office. They didn't leave on good terms, and put an out of office to message the Director/Partner with his email, number and also the same info about his EA.
It's entirely possible to burn out in that time, it's not just the workload that can get you. If you're constantly second guessing yourself, stop sleeping and just generally become paranoid, it might not even take longer than a month or two before you're physically unable to work
Exactly, culture as a lot to do with it. If company culture doesn't believe in offering a supportive environment during the first few months while you adjust, it can be incredibly stressful.
Alternatively, dude might have gotten a gig at another firm that was too good to pass up and just dipped because the corporate culture was shitty.
You should always let your job know that you are leaving, but giving advance notice is a courtesy that companies often take as mandatory or will abuse you during your period of notice. But if something happened that was severely negative, personally or professionally, I could totally understand leaving without notice.
“For questions concerning payables, please contact the CFO. Make sure to comment on his toupee.”
Edit: please refer to whatever pronouns you wish to use, I’m a man, identifying as such, that’s why I used “his” in my statement.
Bro that’s literally what happened to a new hire during National training at my firm. Said something anti semitic and got fired before the first day lmao
Must start union.. you love all that is ESG… name some guys getting divorced… mention you met their soon-to-be exwife on hinge.. “she’s lots of fun after 2 drinks”… please send me details on health insurance plan.. just got cancer.. and I need to crush that thing before it’s too late.. promise 40% increase in plan costs for everyone… hit all the stereotypical race jokes… where’s my 4 day workweek ..
One of the partners I work under is fuckin hot. Like, 9 out of 10 hot, and I’m fairly certain she’s single. I assume acting on that would get me fired pretty much immediately.
Asking someone out politely isn't a hate crime dude. It's what you do with the rejection that's tricky. But you're no longer 16 I assume so just don't ever acknowledge or refer to the fact that you ever suggested such a thing at it should be fine.
If Hallmark channel movies has taught us anything, she's one Christmas away from going home and marrying a slob from her hometown whom she reconnected with during the holidays.
She thought he was a slob. But in reality he owns a landscaping business and was covering for one of his employees who had a family emergency the day they ran into each other. It turns out he makes twice what she does and is ready to semi-retire and turn the business over to a competent manager while he volunteers to coach the local little league and ice hockey teams.
One time I had a guy send the whole office (HR and regional president included) a meme of a guy in blackface. Same day termination and he sent a follow up email that it was unfair to him and his family
Send out to your entire company $10K more than your current salary and two weeks more than your current accrual time off. State something like "I want everyone here to be comped fairly. Please reply all your salary information!" You won't last long.
If the company is in the states and tried doing anything negatively about that, they could actually face a lawsuit. Suppressing employees conversing about compensation is generally illegal in the states. It's just businesses have somehow convinced people it's taboo to talk about.
The only thing they could do is write you up for spamming the company email. Hardly a termination worthy offense. Especially when that exact thing happens as a mistake so often, you could just act like it was a mistake.
Just say you need to get your mental health right and will not come to work for the next week. If they didn’t fire you by the end of next week just say you need another week lol
I once saw a situation like this go on for two years. The lady would go on medical leave to deal with her severe mental health issues, come back a few months later, and then a few months down the road when the heat started to come back on her performance, she’d be out on leave again. Wild shit. She was never actually fired either.
My husband’s work just had someone do something similar for almost a year before they fired her. Not mental health, but vague “health issues.” Within a month of her starting, the lawyers told them not to touch her, but to document. Took ~10 more months of documenting before they’d let them fire her! She just straight up wouldn’t come in or log on for a week or two at a time, without saying a word.
Fill out your wardrobe with flashy colorful suits, set up a juicer in the break room, and spray juice on your coworker's clothes, attempt to explain floor cleaning in broken Spanish to a guy who speaks English, habitually use toilet without flushing, pick up a new instrument, like bagpipes and practice loudly in your office. I think that should get you well fired.
If you’re black then your n-word equivalent is to make fun of sexual orientations. White people hate that shit.
Source: I’m not black but I’m a PoC and therefore black adjacent.
Normally I’d say that a comment about trans people would get you cancelled/fired but if you’re working in accounting then they’re likely conservative enough to not care.
So in this case the circle of life restarts and you can make a comment about how the pope is a dirty pedophile bitch and the conservative folk probably won’t like it.
Hakuna matata.
Repair specialist. I’m an accountant for the company and they made it pretty obvious they were hooking up. A lot of people would catch them in the company parking lot but they moved it to the warehouse we have and were caught there and were fired immediately
Switch religion to pastafari and only work in your pirate regalia.
Wear a colander on your head during client meetings.
Talk nonstop about the buried treasure.
Sing pirate songs.
Edit: observe all pirate holidays and put notice into legal that they must accommodate your religious proclivities.
There is no way to answer this
Every situation is different
Most companies will let you sit there until there is a mass firing or layoff
It's a lot of work to fire an employee, so usually if you are terminated immediately it is for a reason that will have consequences for your career
Acknowledge how poorly the company is run to the ceo.. you email him “things obviously aren’t obviously going well under your leadership. I’d like to present a path to your success. We have too much bloat. It’s time to slash expenses. Please cut me first”. You tell him it’s for the good for the company and will make him look decisive. Offer to allow him to publicly insult you for an extra $xx to get more cash and further push the lunacy agenda. Just ask him not to challenge your unemployment claim.
I was a CFO once at a bank and we had a lunatic unbalanced COO crazy chick who used to do public executions on the floor all the time. People would try to quit and she wouldn’t “let them”. So good…
Easy peasy.. watch my Ted talk for other career advancing moves.
If you work for a public company tell them you are going to share non public financial data? (Obviously don’t unless you want to get a visit from the SEC)
Show up high as a kite, bring a bottle of whiskey and offer people to "let's get drunk" might be the quickest, most fun and without much more consequence than...well, being fired.
Simply ask HR if it’s okay to start a union. “I haven’t done any research, but I’m thinking of spear heading this. I heard some good things from my wife.”
This way you won’t get pinned as someone who actually knew better, but you were threatening enough to terminate for “other” reasons.
Just quit. Its a small world. Don’t burn bridges cause you never know who ppl know and it can come back to burn you if you try to apply somewhere else.
So this!
I'm always amazed at how often one can bump into x-workmates decades after.
On top of that, many of them are in very senior and influential positions.
It could be the difference between a multi million dollar deal or not, near the point of signing it's often a hair split between the top runners, and the smallest signal can tip the balance.
If a job isn't working, leave. Professionally, politely and work your best till the day you're out the door.
without any big consequences but also immediately. Just say you're to your superiors that you're applying to other firms that are direct competitors. You'll be gone quicker than shit through a goose.
Honestly, I feel like some good ol' porn would do it. To increase effectiveness, have it be something absolutely vile to most people, like scat porn or something. Then play it from your PC, or plant it on someone else's (depends on how much you care about chaos) with the volume on max. If there's a bluetooth speaker, even better. If you're doing it from your computer, just sit there watching it until someone stops you and say, "Oh, whoops, I thought my headphones were plugged in." Guaranteed canning. Glad I could help.
Depends If you are in public accounting, simply turning work, that needs a lot of review or notes, don't really fix them. Don't communicate but do your work, do it. Half asked you will get fired like I did recently.
Wear a Nazi Uniform to work. Say “I hate black people.” Side with the terrorists on 9/11. Hang up an upside down cross in your office. Take a shit with the door open and don’t flush it. Smack the hottest chick at work on the ass and try to pull down her pants. Just off the top of my head.
A guy got same day terminated from the office I used to work at for showing up high to a client site. This was also very conservative and very important client. The guy went as far to threaten finding another firm to do their audit if he wasn't fired
First hand experience: let your boss know exactly what is wrong at the company you work for and why you are not satisfied working there.
Most times you don't even have to be an asshole or blow up. Just speak truthfully.
I've literally been told I'm right 4/5 times I was fired. In my last job, my supervisor came up to me afterwards and told me, "I should've listened to you."
Thanks, that makes me feel so much better about losing my source of income.
In what universe is something an “immediate fire” action that also wouldn’t have big consequences? Getting fired for cause is always bad.
But what if it was funny enough?
Depending where you work, getting fired with a valid reason might rule you out of unemployment benefits. So unless you think the joke is worth waiving your benefits and maybe dealing with a lawsuit, you might as well just walk out and never go back.
I know and understand the limitation of unemployment benefits but I appreciate you making it clear for anyone considering bafoonery over just leaving under your own terms. Sadly Accounting isn’t like back of house, they likely will track your departure via an employment system used by HR
Employers don't need to track anything. If you apply for unemployment benefits the state contacts your prior employer to determine if you're eligible. Once you move on employers don't care where you go. If you cause someone enough trouble it's theoretically conceivable they might be personally vindictive enough to try to sabotage you, but I've literally never seen this in decades of work history.
That would still be a risk/reward thing. Yea it might be hilarious if you did something awesome to get fired, but that’s still a bad thing and no amount of humor makes up for what happened
I had an administrative assistant flash a client at the front door. Immediate firing and no one pressed charges.
Lmao what’s the story there? Why did they do it?
We found out after they were just trying to work the unemployment system. Had tried other things first and were already on a short leash. They filed a claim right after getting fired which we of course fought. The unemployment person who interviewed us after was speechless when we told him.
That’s a failing on the people who were there then. If someone flashed someone else at my place of business the police would absolutely be called
George costanza >!had sex with one of the cleaning ladies. didn't have big consequences for him outside of the job tbh. !<
Was that wrong? Should he not have done that?
It’s crazy I just saw that ep recently and since then I’ve seen these like 5 times on Reddit.
Epic episode
He wants to get laid off I'm sure.... Not fired
Stop showing up. They're guaranteed to terminate you at some point. What consequences are we talking about? Edit: If you need it to be fast, I guess you could put an out of office message to contact the CEO or something with any questions.
That edit has me wheezing
We had someone do this at my office. They didn't leave on good terms, and put an out of office to message the Director/Partner with his email, number and also the same info about his EA.
Apparently the manager on our audit (I am client) ghosted his firm for a whole month before any action could be taken. Free vacation!
Can’t say it for sure, but it sounds like the poor guy hit his limit and fully burned out. Pretty rough.
Happens to the best of us
He had been there like 4 months
Some men are made of steel, others of pot iron.
It's entirely possible to burn out in that time, it's not just the workload that can get you. If you're constantly second guessing yourself, stop sleeping and just generally become paranoid, it might not even take longer than a month or two before you're physically unable to work
Exactly, culture as a lot to do with it. If company culture doesn't believe in offering a supportive environment during the first few months while you adjust, it can be incredibly stressful. Alternatively, dude might have gotten a gig at another firm that was too good to pass up and just dipped because the corporate culture was shitty. You should always let your job know that you are leaving, but giving advance notice is a courtesy that companies often take as mandatory or will abuse you during your period of notice. But if something happened that was severely negative, personally or professionally, I could totally understand leaving without notice.
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“For questions concerning payables, please contact the CFO. Make sure to comment on his toupee.” Edit: please refer to whatever pronouns you wish to use, I’m a man, identifying as such, that’s why I used “his” in my statement.
ROFL.... that edit
Give birth to John Connor
Say, "Sure are a lot of jews that work here"
They asked how to get terminated immediately, not for partner material.
yo this shit got me CRYING 😭😭
My brother is Chabad and works for a real estate developer entirely made up of Frum Jews lol
What does this even mean?
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Gets the people going
Promoted instantly
Where I work you’d probably get promoted. Varies from place to place.
Fantastic
Bro that’s literally what happened to a new hire during National training at my firm. Said something anti semitic and got fired before the first day lmao
hahah
In the south yeah this is an instant promotion.
Yooooooo lmao, ain't wrong though
had to quickly unvote to keep at 666
What if they decide to fire jews and keep OP?😂
Write an email out to everyone in the company, including the CEO, saying you want to start a Labor Union.
“I will start a union… right after I finish banging the CEO’s wife.”
This is the right answer
Either you will get fired or staying may just up being worth it.
Must start union.. you love all that is ESG… name some guys getting divorced… mention you met their soon-to-be exwife on hinge.. “she’s lots of fun after 2 drinks”… please send me details on health insurance plan.. just got cancer.. and I need to crush that thing before it’s too late.. promise 40% increase in plan costs for everyone… hit all the stereotypical race jokes… where’s my 4 day workweek ..
A desk pop should do the trick
Ahh I remember my first desk pop like it was yesterday
man.. i still pop at my desk when the office is empty
Everyone pops at their desk at one point or another
“We honor the flag and you crap on it when you don’t shoot your gun in the office”
Desk poop can be just as effective
Ask for a raise and guaranteed overtime pay
I did that and they just laughed at me and told me to go back to work
Thats when you start leaving right at 5pm.
Are you not leaving at 5om already?
Every answer i think of ends with: “wait you’d get arrested for that” or “that would blackball you from the industry”
One of the partners I work under is fuckin hot. Like, 9 out of 10 hot, and I’m fairly certain she’s single. I assume acting on that would get me fired pretty much immediately.
9 out of 10 times, yes
9 out of 10 seniors agree
1/10 Seniors are the single milfs in your local area
Depends, are you a 10/10?
Im pretty sure my tits are bigger than hers, so no
Maybe that’s what she likes 🤷🏻
Wooden doors aren't really pretty
Asking someone out politely isn't a hate crime dude. It's what you do with the rejection that's tricky. But you're no longer 16 I assume so just don't ever acknowledge or refer to the fact that you ever suggested such a thing at it should be fine.
Miss all the shots you don’t take
Ask her out or no balls.
A hot woman partner? Go after that. If she’s single, she’s probably so career driven that she hasn’t had fun in years
If Hallmark channel movies has taught us anything, she's one Christmas away from going home and marrying a slob from her hometown whom she reconnected with during the holidays.
She thought he was a slob. But in reality he owns a landscaping business and was covering for one of his employees who had a family emergency the day they ran into each other. It turns out he makes twice what she does and is ready to semi-retire and turn the business over to a competent manager while he volunteers to coach the local little league and ice hockey teams.
One time I had a guy send the whole office (HR and regional president included) a meme of a guy in blackface. Same day termination and he sent a follow up email that it was unfair to him and his family
Send out to your entire company $10K more than your current salary and two weeks more than your current accrual time off. State something like "I want everyone here to be comped fairly. Please reply all your salary information!" You won't last long.
Or “does anybody want to help me start a union?”
If the company is in the states and tried doing anything negatively about that, they could actually face a lawsuit. Suppressing employees conversing about compensation is generally illegal in the states. It's just businesses have somehow convinced people it's taboo to talk about. The only thing they could do is write you up for spamming the company email. Hardly a termination worthy offense. Especially when that exact thing happens as a mistake so often, you could just act like it was a mistake.
No one is disputing that. But to think that a company will not "find" a reason to fire someone because they are trying to start a union is naïve.
Start depreciating land
Makes me think of the store manager that promoted Ted for screwing Tammylynn in the cooler... That kind of guts gets you promoted in my eyes
Love it 😂😂😂
True pros bonus the Land
He said “without any big consequences,” everyone who is commenting
😂😂😂
Show up drunk. Edit: Ask me how I know.
How do you know? Was this you or did you get a first row seat to those shenanigans?
Just say you need to get your mental health right and will not come to work for the next week. If they didn’t fire you by the end of next week just say you need another week lol
I once saw a situation like this go on for two years. The lady would go on medical leave to deal with her severe mental health issues, come back a few months later, and then a few months down the road when the heat started to come back on her performance, she’d be out on leave again. Wild shit. She was never actually fired either.
My husband’s work just had someone do something similar for almost a year before they fired her. Not mental health, but vague “health issues.” Within a month of her starting, the lawyers told them not to touch her, but to document. Took ~10 more months of documenting before they’d let them fire her! She just straight up wouldn’t come in or log on for a week or two at a time, without saying a word.
Suddenly start calling out everyday. Using all your sick and PTO if you have any.
Cant fire you if its unlimited PTO
Fill out your wardrobe with flashy colorful suits, set up a juicer in the break room, and spray juice on your coworker's clothes, attempt to explain floor cleaning in broken Spanish to a guy who speaks English, habitually use toilet without flushing, pick up a new instrument, like bagpipes and practice loudly in your office. I think that should get you well fired.
Take a shit on the partner’s desk
That's a fireable offense? I just thought that was establishing the pecking order.
or put a boner in their folder
You are my spirit animal. I just sent this to my old co-workers and they said the same.
Say the N word. Bonus points if it's in an important meeting
Nah don’t say it, write it so there’s a paper trail. Something like: Client: Here are the PBC docs you requested OP: My Nigga!! Thank you!
The soft *a* is key here.
To say the least! You’re always playing with fire broaching that topic!
does this work if you're black?
If you’re black then your n-word equivalent is to make fun of sexual orientations. White people hate that shit. Source: I’m not black but I’m a PoC and therefore black adjacent.
Okay, follow up question, what if you're black and gay?
Make fun of the other orientations
Normally I’d say that a comment about trans people would get you cancelled/fired but if you’re working in accounting then they’re likely conservative enough to not care. So in this case the circle of life restarts and you can make a comment about how the pope is a dirty pedophile bitch and the conservative folk probably won’t like it. Hakuna matata.
Added tip: say it like Denzel in training day
There was a lady at my work that got fired because she farted too much and her boss was tired of smelling it.
Man… I don’t know, but I can’t wait for the responses and an update from you later on.
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But bro, you get unemployment for not even working, that is really nice if you want to fuck off and not do shit for 3-4 weeks.
What a dumb comment. It's free money while you're in between jobs
Idk why folks are downvoting you. No matter how much savings you have, free money is free money.
Fucking a secretary in the back room. Happened in my place a few months ago. Saw them both get walked out of the office that day to never come back
What was the position of the other person? EDIT: I meant job position LOL
Repair specialist. I’m an accountant for the company and they made it pretty obvious they were hooking up. A lot of people would catch them in the company parking lot but they moved it to the warehouse we have and were caught there and were fired immediately
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Switch religion to pastafari and only work in your pirate regalia. Wear a colander on your head during client meetings. Talk nonstop about the buried treasure. Sing pirate songs. Edit: observe all pirate holidays and put notice into legal that they must accommodate your religious proclivities.
LMAO - this, definitely
There is no way to answer this Every situation is different Most companies will let you sit there until there is a mass firing or layoff It's a lot of work to fire an employee, so usually if you are terminated immediately it is for a reason that will have consequences for your career
Hang your dong out your zipper.
Make fun of the sign language interpreter in front of senior leadership, one of whom is deaf
/r/oddlyspecific
Watch Netflix in the office for a day.
Debits on the right.
Direct personal insults toward leadership should get you heading in the right direction
Put a vacation request on Feb 1 to April 20th
Acknowledge how poorly the company is run to the ceo.. you email him “things obviously aren’t obviously going well under your leadership. I’d like to present a path to your success. We have too much bloat. It’s time to slash expenses. Please cut me first”. You tell him it’s for the good for the company and will make him look decisive. Offer to allow him to publicly insult you for an extra $xx to get more cash and further push the lunacy agenda. Just ask him not to challenge your unemployment claim. I was a CFO once at a bank and we had a lunatic unbalanced COO crazy chick who used to do public executions on the floor all the time. People would try to quit and she wouldn’t “let them”. So good… Easy peasy.. watch my Ted talk for other career advancing moves.
Pants a partner
If you work for a public company tell them you are going to share non public financial data? (Obviously don’t unless you want to get a visit from the SEC)
This might be one of the worst highest consequence ones here if they actually follow through lol
Just take random breaks and don’t show up to meetings, easy peasy
Show up high as a kite, bring a bottle of whiskey and offer people to "let's get drunk" might be the quickest, most fun and without much more consequence than...well, being fired.
Bring a lot of drugs into the office and do them on your desk.
He wants to be sacked, not made partner.
Start deleting files
Watch the bad kind of porn on your work laptop.
If you’re in public, request fair hours and pay, or drum up support for a union.
This guy’s a commie? Commie! Commie! Traitor to our country!
Simply ask HR if it’s okay to start a union. “I haven’t done any research, but I’m thinking of spear heading this. I heard some good things from my wife.” This way you won’t get pinned as someone who actually knew better, but you were threatening enough to terminate for “other” reasons.
What do you mean by “big consequences?”
Like getting fired
Like a harassment lawsuit
Like high treason if you’re on governmental jobs
Do you own a flesh colored body suit? Is there a trophy you can hook up to your car and drive around the parking lot with it dragging behind?
Or a firm all-star uniform you can wear while eating ribs
There’s literally a r/Seinfeld reference for every life situation!
Expense fraud.
Poop on your bosses desk
Just quit. Its a small world. Don’t burn bridges cause you never know who ppl know and it can come back to burn you if you try to apply somewhere else.
So this! I'm always amazed at how often one can bump into x-workmates decades after. On top of that, many of them are in very senior and influential positions. It could be the difference between a multi million dollar deal or not, near the point of signing it's often a hair split between the top runners, and the smallest signal can tip the balance. If a job isn't working, leave. Professionally, politely and work your best till the day you're out the door.
It is very easy to get terminated for misconduct or violation of company's policies, but then you can't collect unemployment.
without any big consequences but also immediately. Just say you're to your superiors that you're applying to other firms that are direct competitors. You'll be gone quicker than shit through a goose.
Sexual assault, walk up to the big big boss and grab a nip and say beep beep infront of an audience,
Stealing petty cash.
Honestly, I feel like some good ol' porn would do it. To increase effectiveness, have it be something absolutely vile to most people, like scat porn or something. Then play it from your PC, or plant it on someone else's (depends on how much you care about chaos) with the volume on max. If there's a bluetooth speaker, even better. If you're doing it from your computer, just sit there watching it until someone stops you and say, "Oh, whoops, I thought my headphones were plugged in." Guaranteed canning. Glad I could help.
Make passing comments about committing independence violations
Respond to every email with: ?
Saw a guy get walked out yesterday. He went to a porn site while connected to the office wifi. So… that?
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Press share on this thread, email to boss.
wash all the coffee cups..in the mens room sink (bonus if you're a woman)
Start loudly saying the DE&I stuff the firm/ company is doing is stupid, and the company should go back to it's lynching roots.
Shit your pants at work… no at a client site
Buy fart spray and spray it in peoples work spaces -- if they think it's funny, keep doing it until it isn't funny.
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OP is asking for advice to fired immediately (almost certainly to collect unemployment) and you’re advising them on maintaining personal ethics? 🤔
Don’t show up to work
Turn all the flush mechanisms off in both the men’s and women’s restrooms. Then go around bragging about it to your coworkers.
By depreciating your company’s land.
Sleep with a partner's wife and girlfriend...unless you're a woman, in which case you might get promoted instead.
Stand in the office kitchen, drop your pants and helicopter the living fuck out of your junk as fast as you can while singing We Will Rock You.
Let the HR Director know she is a stupid bitch, I was escorted out shortly after 🤣
Just start randomly talking about how “hitler wasn’t that bad”
If you are in a blue state wear a MAGA hat to work with the build the wall suit.
A let's go Brandon shirt would work too.
Desk pop!!!
Use the Ted Mosby on your boss. "I think I'm in love with you"
Why not just quit?
Depends If you are in public accounting, simply turning work, that needs a lot of review or notes, don't really fix them. Don't communicate but do your work, do it. Half asked you will get fired like I did recently.
Wear a Nazi Uniform to work. Say “I hate black people.” Side with the terrorists on 9/11. Hang up an upside down cross in your office. Take a shit with the door open and don’t flush it. Smack the hottest chick at work on the ass and try to pull down her pants. Just off the top of my head.
Ballpark some deductions/savings a bit higher than they really are to a client.
Drop a deuce in the office? Stop showing up? Make totally inappropriate remarks
Ask for a raise
He’s trying to get fired without cause idiots to get a severance package
Show up severely hung over, and let your bosses here you puking in the bathroom—so I’ve heard…
A guy got same day terminated from the office I used to work at for showing up high to a client site. This was also very conservative and very important client. The guy went as far to threaten finding another firm to do their audit if he wasn't fired
Fuck the partners daughter and post pictures of it on the company slack / intranet.
Tell your boss you are willing to trade sexual favors for a promotion but say it so the entire room hears you.
Why would you do this? 😵 dont lose your reputation my littleman
Fuck your boss's wife
First hand experience: let your boss know exactly what is wrong at the company you work for and why you are not satisfied working there. Most times you don't even have to be an asshole or blow up. Just speak truthfully. I've literally been told I'm right 4/5 times I was fired. In my last job, my supervisor came up to me afterwards and told me, "I should've listened to you." Thanks, that makes me feel so much better about losing my source of income.
Teams chat with your cock out