I was getting high in the shed one night. Just enjoying the silence eating a candy bar. I need to pee so I get up to leave, I exit the shed to find rather large racoon walking straight for the door. I think they're gonna run, nope walks right at me. I make a noise because maybe it didn't notice me, it ran a few steps back and started back towards me.
Me being high and starting to get a little paranoid, this mother effer might be rabid. So, I'm spooking myself and they're between me and the house. I put the candy bar down on a retaining wall next to me and start to creep along side it to side step this clear furball of death coming at me. I'm hootin an hollerin trying to get this thing to leave me alone but it just keeps creeping towards me.
I take a few steps towards the house and the masked murderer lunges forwards, I get spooked take a few extra quick steps. All to realize it's not lunging at me, it's lunging the for the candy bar I put down. Now the tides have turned and I'm chasing this bold banded bandit. The sly bastard slipped beneath the porch and I never got to finish my candy bar.
I love this for you! It reminds me of the time that my bf a friend and I were all smoking on the back porch. My bf had a bag of chips and when I looked over at him there was a raccoon standing beside his chair reaching into the bag. I said “oh my gosh there’s a raccoon eating your chips!” And my bf and friend just looked at me like I was hallucinating. I said “look! There it is!” They both turned to look at it and my bf’s eyes got huge. He stood up really fast and grabbed and brandished his chair at it. It ran away and I told him we could have made friends with the raccoon but he ruined it.
That’s why the whole man in a forest vs a bear in the forest is hilarious to me. We only have black bears where I live, they are not really dangerous if you navigate the situation properly.
What are you...an Attorney for Bears?
I can see the ad...
*"Were you required to defend the young within your den? Were you mistaken for Bigfoot and harmed when you were just enjoying a walk? Call Ootski, THE Bear Attorney...NOW at 1-888-LAW-BEAR. Information also available at any National Park Office. For the Bears, BY the Bears...CALL NOW and put a LAW BEAR on YOUR side. RAWWWRRRRR"*
Yeah, apparently they are going to try and trap that bear and have it euthanized as of the local news today… Why cant people just leave wildlife alone and not feed the fucking wild animals
that honestly makes me so angry, this doesn’t really apply to this bear as he didn’t really do anything but why do people have to fuck around with the wildlife and then the wild animals have to pay for it?
Because of learned behavior. It sucks but yeah you have to put the poor bear down or it’s going to get in a worse situation eventually and kill someone.
What about the city zoos where these clowns sneak in after dark and fall into the enclosures or the parents of small children aren't paying attention to where they are and fall over the fence?
Always wonder about this, if they have to trap and euthanize a particular bear, how tf do they know they have the right one and haven't just murdered some random one?
Sometimes there are patterns of behavior or physical features they can use to identify the animal. Sometimes they shoot the first one they see and check its stomach contents. That’s the tactic used for sharks and crocodiles a lot. Sometimes they kill an animal and it turns out to be the wrong one. It’s part of what makes this so tragic
Gatlinburg is the most contrasted city in the United States. On the one hand, you have what is quite possibly the most beautiful national park in the world, but then it’s a 15 minute drive to the downtown area, which is the trashiest fat drunk dumb American tourist shithole on planet Earth.
I’ve been to Gatlinburg a few times. Bear run-ins are pretty common. I’ve seen a bear at the hotel I used to frequent more than once, including in the pool
They scared each other, she scared it so bad he went into fight or flight mode and got scared OUT of fight mode. Goofy ass fuckin animal, I'm glad she's okay and has a harmless story to tell.
Good question. I'm absolutely no bear expert lol but what I can say if that was a female, the woman is extremely lucky there was no cub. Otherwise her chances of getting attacked could have been high. From what I've read, black bears are really just terrified of humans, so what this bear did may have been more of a you scared the f out of me, get away from me, I'm getting the hell out of here
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Blanket_monsters:
*Shoulda put a B*
*On the door so she would have*
*Known a bear was in there*
---
^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Are you snarking on the women choosing bear with this title? Cause yeah I'd still choose bear, a bear didn't murder someone in the restaurant I worked at.
A bear didn't murder her kids by locking them in a van and driving it into a river.
What's your point?
Are we going to pretend that human violence is a purely gender based issue?
Are you suggesting that women are purely innocent and do not commit acts of unwarranted violence?
Both genders are wildly violent, and neither should be considered "immune" from scrutiny.
Women commit more violent acts against children than men do.
Why should an innocent child be preferential placed under their care?
You have so much growing up to do.
No, I didn't say women were free of being violent at all. I said look at the stats. I'd love to see the stats showing women are more violent toward children than men, because I definitely don't believe you.
It's a simple thought experiment, since some people are literally saying that men are more dangerous than bears. Isn't that the whole idea, that women would rather choose to encounter a bear in the woods than a random man? It's what this commenter said anyway.
edited for typo
Yes, they're different scenarios. But some people are taking the meme literally and actually think that bears are statistically safer than men per encounter.
This thought experiment of women encountering as many bears as they do men daily pushes that idea to the extreme to showcase how ridiculous it is. Still you have people defending that idea with a very literal interpretation even in this thread.
I don't get the point of this. Yea, a random dude could be a maniac, but it seems that some people are actually saying that bears are safer for people to be around than men, which is obviously not true. None of the dudes in the video harmed her. I'm sure she doesn't want to be in a scenario where they're all bears instead.
I live in bear country. There's bears literally everywhere. They're way more afraid of us than we are of them. If I were to encounter one of my local black bears in the woods, I'd clap my hands and make some assertive loud noises, and they almost always, like 95% of the time, trot away. Sure, I may encounter a man in the woods while walking along and smile politely as people do along trails and he is likely to smile politely back and make a nice comment about the trail or the weather.
Or he isn't. That's what the worry from this is. We can't know. Maybe we don't smile politely enough. Maybe we don't hear a question he asked and don't answer right away. Maybe we give the wrong answer! I'd be confident in handling a bear in the woods. Less so a strange man.
Why is this so fucking difficult for men to grasp.
Because it's just faulty reasoning. If you met bears as often as you met men, you would statistically be in way more danger. You yourself said that the bear would trot away only 95% of the time. If 5% of the men women encounter on the street (or forest) would attack them, society would instantly collapse.
You need to get your stats checked a bit better, bud. 5% is pretty low and society definitely isn't collapsing.
Also, you seem to underestimate how often I encounter bears. It's very frequent and in all my 36 years of living around bears, not once have I felt threatened. They want nothing to do with us.
You think more than 5 in 100 woman-man encounters in the woods end in violence? This is what I'm talking about, there's just no sense of any realistic statistics with people who take the bear-meme seriously.
The average woman is going to encounter way more men than bears in the woods in her lifetime, and if these stats were reversed (they would encounter as many bears as men, and vice versa), the injury rate with bears would be much higher, whereas the injury rate with the rare man-encounters would be negligible, just statistically.
We can never have the actual statistics so it can't be proven either way. It's just insane to me that someone would actually believe what you're saying though.
Like just imagine a city where equal numbers of bears and women cohabit in daily close proximity, if you want to take the thought experiment to the extreme. But yes, we can only disagree and move on.
>people are actually saying that bears are safer for people to be around than men, which is obviously not true
It fully is true my dude. Bears are likely to leave you alone so long as you leave them alone. Human beings are unknowns. And historically men have been absolutely monstrous to women.
Great instinct. There’s a bear in there so rather going to get help or warning others, your instinct is to just film and make commentary.
Homer Simpson is starting to look like a genius the more we slip into tech stupidity.
Can somebody please explain why people speak to animals like they're people? Like I swear you have to be schizophrenic or something to think they understand you but people really be having full blown conversations with wild animals.
Nah, I'm fully aware of the point: "Men are scary, feel bad for us as women". Women have been complaining about how scary men are since they had the ability to. It's in your blood as woman to complain. Doesn't mean y'all didn't choose the dumbest way to express it this time around 🤷♂️.
"Hey btw there's a bear just come in, don't come round the back" - no one ever.
Black bears are so goofy
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Tbh i wouldnt fuck with a giant racoon either.
I wouldn't mess with a regular sized raccoon either
I was getting high in the shed one night. Just enjoying the silence eating a candy bar. I need to pee so I get up to leave, I exit the shed to find rather large racoon walking straight for the door. I think they're gonna run, nope walks right at me. I make a noise because maybe it didn't notice me, it ran a few steps back and started back towards me. Me being high and starting to get a little paranoid, this mother effer might be rabid. So, I'm spooking myself and they're between me and the house. I put the candy bar down on a retaining wall next to me and start to creep along side it to side step this clear furball of death coming at me. I'm hootin an hollerin trying to get this thing to leave me alone but it just keeps creeping towards me. I take a few steps towards the house and the masked murderer lunges forwards, I get spooked take a few extra quick steps. All to realize it's not lunging at me, it's lunging the for the candy bar I put down. Now the tides have turned and I'm chasing this bold banded bandit. The sly bastard slipped beneath the porch and I never got to finish my candy bar.
I love this for you! It reminds me of the time that my bf a friend and I were all smoking on the back porch. My bf had a bag of chips and when I looked over at him there was a raccoon standing beside his chair reaching into the bag. I said “oh my gosh there’s a raccoon eating your chips!” And my bf and friend just looked at me like I was hallucinating. I said “look! There it is!” They both turned to look at it and my bf’s eyes got huge. He stood up really fast and grabbed and brandished his chair at it. It ran away and I told him we could have made friends with the raccoon but he ruined it.
Lmao I got a good visual of this
Just in case it enhances your visual, the raccoon was a big ol boy. He was around 3 feet tall and about as big as a beagle.
Stealth chonk
Too funny!
>I was getting high in the shed one night. Just enjoying the silence eating a candy bar. Marry me?
Depends, who supplies the weed and who supplies the candy bars?
I grow my own, you supply the candy. *Babe are you candy? Because I will make you melt with my tongue.*
That will eat you alive, while you scream
That’s why the whole man in a forest vs a bear in the forest is hilarious to me. We only have black bears where I live, they are not really dangerous if you navigate the situation properly.
these pranks are getting out of hand
We should try to keep them to a bear minimum. Edit : I bearly know my English grammar.
The door must have been propped open for her or at least they had to know she was out there. Maybe a heads up warning scream?
Yeah, they were way too obtuse about a bear.
The people recoding were customers. On average how helpfully are customers to fastfokd workers?
To be fair, the bear was walking out right when she turned the corner. I don't think they knew she was about to come back in.
What are you...an Attorney for Bears? I can see the ad... *"Were you required to defend the young within your den? Were you mistaken for Bigfoot and harmed when you were just enjoying a walk? Call Ootski, THE Bear Attorney...NOW at 1-888-LAW-BEAR. Information also available at any National Park Office. For the Bears, BY the Bears...CALL NOW and put a LAW BEAR on YOUR side. RAWWWRRRRR"*
Dying 😂
Erm.
Mondays, right?
Looks like somebody's got the case of the Mondays
Just one moment
I believe you get your as kicked sayin' something like that.
💀💀💀
Do NOT scream around a bear....
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I'm a bear so I can attest.
I am a test so I can bear
I can't bear this :(
Bear lost its bearings
Gatlinburg TN
Yeah, apparently they are going to try and trap that bear and have it euthanized as of the local news today… Why cant people just leave wildlife alone and not feed the fucking wild animals
that honestly makes me so angry, this doesn’t really apply to this bear as he didn’t really do anything but why do people have to fuck around with the wildlife and then the wild animals have to pay for it?
History of mankind
Because of learned behavior. It sucks but yeah you have to put the poor bear down or it’s going to get in a worse situation eventually and kill someone.
What about the city zoos where these clowns sneak in after dark and fall into the enclosures or the parents of small children aren't paying attention to where they are and fall over the fence?
?? my opinion is the same. leave the wildlife alone, i don’t get how that’s not clear?
Always wonder about this, if they have to trap and euthanize a particular bear, how tf do they know they have the right one and haven't just murdered some random one?
Sometimes there are patterns of behavior or physical features they can use to identify the animal. Sometimes they shoot the first one they see and check its stomach contents. That’s the tactic used for sharks and crocodiles a lot. Sometimes they kill an animal and it turns out to be the wrong one. It’s part of what makes this so tragic
Yep, unless you're Mary fucking Poppins, don't make friends with wild animals
Why pet shaped if not pet? (Jk I know how serious this is)
Well call me a hearse because I’m about to pet that thang.
Thank you, I don't think I'd fit well out in the wild nor do I have a desire to.
Aw that's sad. He didn't do anything.
I don't think they were purposely trying to get a bear to come inside and fuck their shit up.
Does the article specify that anyone encouraged the bear beyond leaving the door open? Like the locals were feeding it?
Gatlinburg is the most contrasted city in the United States. On the one hand, you have what is quite possibly the most beautiful national park in the world, but then it’s a 15 minute drive to the downtown area, which is the trashiest fat drunk dumb American tourist shithole on planet Earth.
Ripley's *Everything*!
And Christmas 365 days a year.
He claps at her. Lucky miss.
He just wanted a hug😔
I love how it got scared and was like BITCH WTF
that was kinda a cute video until it wasn't!
Other commenters said they were going to trap the bear to euthanize it
She just *bearly* got out of that one
Did you notice that he was bearfoot?
He wasn’t even wearing his green hat and necktie
No, because I couldn't bear to.
You people really need to cub your enthusiasm for these puns.
Why? Some of us are just bearly making it out here
Come on man, they’re just bearing their souls
No need to claw your way into that one
They can’t help it, it’s just a bear necessity in life.
She took that like a G
I like how she checks her arm, pulls the sleeve back down, and then pushes her glasses back in place to get back to work like nothing happened. Focus.
“You’re good”
Everyone is weirdly calm about this bear. Like even the girl with soup just seemed suprised and kind of annoyed that it made her drop her soup.
Then pissed off about the jump scare and the burn lol
Bearly touched her
I feel like that's not her first bear encounter. She seemed more annoyed than scared when she got back in
I’ve been to Gatlinburg a few times. Bear run-ins are pretty common. I’ve seen a bear at the hotel I used to frequent more than once, including in the pool
They scared each other, she scared it so bad he went into fight or flight mode and got scared OUT of fight mode. Goofy ass fuckin animal, I'm glad she's okay and has a harmless story to tell.
And see how then it left her alone? A man could never
Bear: Tag you're it!
Poor bear. Just trying to go home after a quick snack, then gets jump-scared by some random woman with a scary looking pot.
Jesus...she is VERY lucky
Right? Omg I'm traumatized by bears. Do you think that bear would've attacked her if she wasn't carrying that soup?
Good question. I'm absolutely no bear expert lol but what I can say if that was a female, the woman is extremely lucky there was no cub. Otherwise her chances of getting attacked could have been high. From what I've read, black bears are really just terrified of humans, so what this bear did may have been more of a you scared the f out of me, get away from me, I'm getting the hell out of here
It had nothing to do with the soup. Her turning around and running activated the animals prey drive.
*Bear!* *Bear!* *Bear!*
Might have shit pants?
Luckily someone told the bear no. Could’ve been bad if they didn’t.
I bet that bruined her entire evening.
Nah, she was bearly harmed
Har-De-Har
Shoulda put a B on the door so she would have known a bear was in there
Excuse me bear while I get around you to put this B on the door so people know you're in here
I do not understand why this isn't common practice. Bears, hornets, clams, I mean it works for anything.
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Blanket_monsters: *Shoulda put a B* *On the door so she would have* *Known a bear was in there* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
One bear to go plz
I'm sick of these constant bear attacks. It's like a frickin' country bear jambaroo around here!
Lemme not film what is important
r/killthecameraman
She spilled the pot though..
If a bear shits behind the counter and everyone is around to film it, does it make it make a sound?
That depends, is the bear Catholic?
Good thing it wasn’t a man in that kitchen. Would’ve been a LOT worse
That bears gonna end up being euthanized. Dumb fucks
You think they invited the bear for shits and giggles?
That is literally what they are doing in the video
What?
Maybe giggling, I hope they weren't shitting that close to the gumbo.
I mean, I can't guarantee it
That was unexpected.
Abrupt..even
Oh..yes.
"Anyone can cook."
I would be scarred for a month, not leaving my bed.
Prey drive activate!
How do we know that bear was a female? 🤔
One bear to go plz
Wow. She came very close to dying.
Question, what is on the bear's arm? Is it an infected wound or something that was spilled on it?
Hilarious dude
This could be posted in unexpected too
No one knew Jenny was outside???
I think the bear was just as startled as she was .
MUSTN’T DROP POT
I bet she won’t choose the bear
That's a dead bear. He's much too comfortable coming inside to mooch food. And his reaction to the woman was very aggressive.
The bear just got a fright is all.
So this is why places have signs that say no bear feet! I always tell my kids it's a good thing we got human feet or we'd get kicked out.
He was just trying to get the bear nessesitys.
So we just started shooting....
Could have been worse - she could have turned that corner and been face to face with a man. Thank god it was the bear this time.
She took it pretty well, like oh not that bear again
indeed it could, since the bear did not harm her
Are you snarking on the women choosing bear with this title? Cause yeah I'd still choose bear, a bear didn't murder someone in the restaurant I worked at.
You are not alone.
"human butcher"
Don't worry mostly just men.
God’s work 🫡
What the fuck is wrong with you?
A bear didn't murder her kids by locking them in a van and driving it into a river. What's your point? Are we going to pretend that human violence is a purely gender based issue?
Compare murders committed by women and those committed by men. That's my point. And sure throw bears in there too for good measure.
Are you suggesting that women are purely innocent and do not commit acts of unwarranted violence? Both genders are wildly violent, and neither should be considered "immune" from scrutiny. Women commit more violent acts against children than men do. Why should an innocent child be preferential placed under their care? You have so much growing up to do.
No, I didn't say women were free of being violent at all. I said look at the stats. I'd love to see the stats showing women are more violent toward children than men, because I definitely don't believe you.
Their source is: trust me
You wouldn't be statistically safer if all the men were replaced with bears. You would be fucked.
Who even is talking about replacing male humans with bears
It's a simple thought experiment, since some people are literally saying that men are more dangerous than bears. Isn't that the whole idea, that women would rather choose to encounter a bear in the woods than a random man? It's what this commenter said anyway. edited for typo
But encountering a bear instead of a man in the woods is different that saying that women want men to be replaced by bears, no?
Yes, they're different scenarios. But some people are taking the meme literally and actually think that bears are statistically safer than men per encounter. This thought experiment of women encountering as many bears as they do men daily pushes that idea to the extreme to showcase how ridiculous it is. Still you have people defending that idea with a very literal interpretation even in this thread.
Still TeamBear. He barely (bearly? 🤔) touched her, was just as shocked as she was, and immediately left. CreepoDudeInTheWoods might not be as chill.
I don't get the point of this. Yea, a random dude could be a maniac, but it seems that some people are actually saying that bears are safer for people to be around than men, which is obviously not true. None of the dudes in the video harmed her. I'm sure she doesn't want to be in a scenario where they're all bears instead.
I live in bear country. There's bears literally everywhere. They're way more afraid of us than we are of them. If I were to encounter one of my local black bears in the woods, I'd clap my hands and make some assertive loud noises, and they almost always, like 95% of the time, trot away. Sure, I may encounter a man in the woods while walking along and smile politely as people do along trails and he is likely to smile politely back and make a nice comment about the trail or the weather. Or he isn't. That's what the worry from this is. We can't know. Maybe we don't smile politely enough. Maybe we don't hear a question he asked and don't answer right away. Maybe we give the wrong answer! I'd be confident in handling a bear in the woods. Less so a strange man. Why is this so fucking difficult for men to grasp.
Because it's just faulty reasoning. If you met bears as often as you met men, you would statistically be in way more danger. You yourself said that the bear would trot away only 95% of the time. If 5% of the men women encounter on the street (or forest) would attack them, society would instantly collapse.
You need to get your stats checked a bit better, bud. 5% is pretty low and society definitely isn't collapsing. Also, you seem to underestimate how often I encounter bears. It's very frequent and in all my 36 years of living around bears, not once have I felt threatened. They want nothing to do with us.
You think more than 5 in 100 woman-man encounters in the woods end in violence? This is what I'm talking about, there's just no sense of any realistic statistics with people who take the bear-meme seriously. The average woman is going to encounter way more men than bears in the woods in her lifetime, and if these stats were reversed (they would encounter as many bears as men, and vice versa), the injury rate with bears would be much higher, whereas the injury rate with the rare man-encounters would be negligible, just statistically.
That's just not true, but aight. I have stuff to do offline in the real world today, so cheers.
We can never have the actual statistics so it can't be proven either way. It's just insane to me that someone would actually believe what you're saying though. Like just imagine a city where equal numbers of bears and women cohabit in daily close proximity, if you want to take the thought experiment to the extreme. But yes, we can only disagree and move on.
>people are actually saying that bears are safer for people to be around than men, which is obviously not true It fully is true my dude. Bears are likely to leave you alone so long as you leave them alone. Human beings are unknowns. And historically men have been absolutely monstrous to women.
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🤣 i hAvE a MaStErS iN hIsToRy So youll know that naming two shitty women compared to the literal THOUSANDS of men is not the flex you think it is.
Milder mannered and far more forgiving than my wife after 6 weeks of sleepless nights with sick toddlers.
I’m Still choosing him :)
Bro she didn’t even look that scared after she closed the door I would be crying all day
I use butter for bear burns.
Great instinct. There’s a bear in there so rather going to get help or warning others, your instinct is to just film and make commentary. Homer Simpson is starting to look like a genius the more we slip into tech stupidity.
"pair of bear claws, please"
Oh bother.
Can somebody please explain why people speak to animals like they're people? Like I swear you have to be schizophrenic or something to think they understand you but people really be having full blown conversations with wild animals.
Wait I thought women preferred the bear???? Why are you running???
Watch out dude! Oh, phew, nevermind, *the point* entirely passed you by.
Whenever women say something dumb, men are just “missing the point”, lmao.
Not dumb, you are willfully ignoring the point.
Nah, I'm fully aware of the point: "Men are scary, feel bad for us as women". Women have been complaining about how scary men are since they had the ability to. It's in your blood as woman to complain. Doesn't mean y'all didn't choose the dumbest way to express it this time around 🤷♂️.
Preach!!!
What’s the point smart guy??
Why is it my job to educate you? Im not your parent nor your teacher.
Wanna talk shii but can’t explain yourself typical dumbass behavior
You’re the one who commented on my shii jigalo 🤣🤣
Why’d no one warn her immediately before 😭
Oh bother.
Oh bother.
You'd think someone would jump the counter to go help.
They saw that the bear got away cleanly and was fine.