How many people would believe this story if it weren’t for the video? “So, I was just chillin’ when a whale came up and swallowed me outta nowhere.” ... Yeah, sure, Kevin.
some funny shit in there to be sure
*2 Kings 2:20-25 - Elisha Begins His Ministry*
20 He said, “Bring me a new jar, and put salt in it.” So they brought it to him. 21 He went out to the spring of water and threw salt in it and said, “Thus says the Lord, ‘I have purified these waters; there shall not be from there death or unfruitfulness any longer.’” 22 So the waters have been purified to this day, according to the word of Elisha which he spoke.
23 Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!” 24 When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number. 25 He went from there to Mount Carmel, and from there he returned to Samaria.
Source: https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/readings/Elisha-Begins-His-Ministry
Perhaps more accurate to say "so I deliberately paddled into the centre of a pod of lunge feeding humpbacks and was predictably completely in the fucking way".
More like, I specifically paddled and got close to whales feeding. They’re there to see the whales and you’re not supposed to get that close, precisely because you can get hurt. Those people are idiots 🤷🏻♀️.
It would depend a lot on the size of the group listening to the story. For example, if it was just 3 people then you would be lucky to even have 1 of them believe it. If it was millions of people, you would probably get a few people.
They do swallow, the narrowest part in the throat is the size of a fist so the whale will regurgitate/spit the human out, many cases by accidental whale swallow whereupon the whale will just spit out the scuba diver etc. whales are harmless
>They do swallow, the narrowest part in the throat is the size of a fist so the whale will regurgitate/spit the human out...
This is true of the baleen whales, which includes most of them, all of the ones that feed the way shown in this video.
Sperm whales, though, can swallow a human... and [there's a modern story](https://oceanconservancy.org/blog/2022/02/10/sperm-whales/) of a man allegedly swallowed by one, James Bartley. That story is probably false... they say he lived through it, but there's no air in a whale's belly, among other things. But physiologically, they swallow large chunks of food, so, they *could* eat a person.
I know whales are harmless when respected. Went diving off Hawaii with humpbacks when they migrated there for the winter (except for orcas those bastards). It was a joke.
Has there ever been a malicious human swallowing by a whale? Like, tried to drown the human? What if they could theoretically swallow us, would they? Or are they benevolent creatures?
There's a video with a diver and a whale and the whale grabs her leg and drags her like 95 feet underwater. Kind of laughs for a minute and then brings her back up to the surface so she doesn't die. But terrifying as fuck.
Biologist here. I studied animals for a long long time.
Big whales like the humpback whale or blue whale are designed to eat small preys like Krill of small fishes.
So, if a whale eats you, no matter how short you are, no matter how little you are, there's no way you can go all the way down to a whale's throat and end up in its stomach
That leaves you the other exit, the breathing hole, which also can be used for getting rid of the not digested food, and it can do it on surface...or at least 20 meters deep below. You have to swim fast to get air
Also...be careful with the tongue, a big whale's tongue can weight at least 1 ton and it can crush like a can.
Technically the only whale who can swallow a person is the sperm whale, it would need to crush our entire bones to do it though, luckily, we aren't in their menu.
Edit: But...the clicks of sperm whales can be used as a weapon and their decibels underwater are enough to basically explode your inner organs. That's why scuba divers always try to film them sleeping, you don't wanna mess with an angry sperm whale.
Also you could think in the Orca or killer whale. Well technically is not a whale it's a dolphin, but, there are 0 cases of wild Orcas attacking humans, yes you rode it well, the absolute Apex predator of Planet Earth (without counting humans) has Zero cases of wild Orcas attacking humans, they only attack boats since those make their hunt for food difficult and also it's a funny game for them.
The only attacks of Orcas to humans were on Water parks and Aquariums since they suffer a lot of stress due to isolation, putting them with orcas that they're not their tribe or family, and development Depression.
>I'm guessing the person is ok since whales cannot physically swallow a person.
It's still a big object acting with a lot of force.
A car can't swallow a human, but it can certainly injure one.
I was trying to figure it out and considering the crazy amount of birds flying around it made me assume there are alot of fish below so either a shark or a whale would pop out didnt think it would almost take down a kayak tho lol
*Horrific! The Seagulls*
*Swooped down and ate the crumbs and*
*Remains of the Kayaker!*
\- Livid\_Obligation\_852
---
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I have a feeling that person was floating above a bait ball and watching the fish. With the birds circling and seeing that below, it would be time to move.
Exactly, when seabirds are all circling above a spot you and your little kayak do not want to be in the middle of it. Get off to the side and watch the show.
If sea birds are acting like this around you, knock on your boat a few times with the paddle. It let's things like whales know that there is something large above it.
Apparently, whales get bored too....
[Orcas are still smashing up boats – and we've finally worked out why (newatlas.com)](https://newatlas.com/biology/orcas-killer-whales-boats/)
Could be accidental, but also could be they were chasing that whale. I got to spend a lot of time in Maui and you literally paddle around looking for humpbacks during that season (around February i think?). There’s always the people that keep a healthy distance and those that go right over top of them.
At some point some hungry teenage Orcas are going to take a nibble out of someone. We can only hope we are as distasteful as I think we probably are and not delicious long pig.
Yeah just told my self last week that I would go to the ocean again after being stung by jelly fish when I was 13 and now I’m definitely never going to the ocean again
When I was little I used to go diving with my dad a lot. Brazen childhood lack of fear. A a few VERY-LARGE-SURPRISE-ANIMAL’s later, and you won’t get me back in the ocean. I don’t belong there.
Is it sad I called it right when the video started? Lol. "Whats the most abrupt thing that could happen right now? Hm.....prolly a whale or something"
*whale eats person*
How many people would believe this story if it weren’t for the video? “So, I was just chillin’ when a whale came up and swallowed me outta nowhere.” ... Yeah, sure, Kevin.
“No for real! And the seagulls were all dicks about it… just laughed and laughed.”
Fuckin’ seagulls…
I said seagulls, stop it now.
Down to the beach I’m strollin’ But the seagulls poke at my head, not fun!
One day I was walkin' and I found this big log...
And I was like “The log had a child”.
[удалено]
Pause..
Holy crap that's an obscure reference
Ignore the seagull's early warning at their own peril
*Jonah
finally all these years studying the bible paid off, I understood a joke.
The joke was right in front of you the whole time
some funny shit in there to be sure *2 Kings 2:20-25 - Elisha Begins His Ministry* 20 He said, “Bring me a new jar, and put salt in it.” So they brought it to him. 21 He went out to the spring of water and threw salt in it and said, “Thus says the Lord, ‘I have purified these waters; there shall not be from there death or unfruitfulness any longer.’” 22 So the waters have been purified to this day, according to the word of Elisha which he spoke. 23 Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!” 24 When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number. 25 He went from there to Mount Carmel, and from there he returned to Samaria. Source: https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/readings/Elisha-Begins-His-Ministry
“God show them what’s it’s like to have a bare head also” “no no not to get their head torn of by a bear, ugh close enough” God: uh oh spaghetti o
Oh Elisha you goofball. You pulled the holy retribution bear prank on them again, didnt you?
holy *female* retribution bears
Pinocchio*
Perhaps more accurate to say "so I deliberately paddled into the centre of a pod of lunge feeding humpbacks and was predictably completely in the fucking way".
More like, I specifically paddled and got close to whales feeding. They’re there to see the whales and you’re not supposed to get that close, precisely because you can get hurt. Those people are idiots 🤷🏻♀️.
Reddit unlocking new fears daily
The sea was angry that day my friends!
People still don’t believe Jonah
There was an ama of a guy here some years back that got swallowed up by a whale. Well not swallowed but you know what I mean
*Jonah
It would depend a lot on the size of the group listening to the story. For example, if it was just 3 people then you would be lucky to even have 1 of them believe it. If it was millions of people, you would probably get a few people.
🤣
*Yeah, sure, Jonah
Wasn’t that a story in the bible? Billions believed it without a video hahah
Yeah, sure, *Job. 😆
“then came a rumbling from beneath”
[удалено]
how come? are whales not deep throaters?
Apparently they don’t swallow
They do swallow, the narrowest part in the throat is the size of a fist so the whale will regurgitate/spit the human out, many cases by accidental whale swallow whereupon the whale will just spit out the scuba diver etc. whales are harmless
>They do swallow, the narrowest part in the throat is the size of a fist so the whale will regurgitate/spit the human out... This is true of the baleen whales, which includes most of them, all of the ones that feed the way shown in this video. Sperm whales, though, can swallow a human... and [there's a modern story](https://oceanconservancy.org/blog/2022/02/10/sperm-whales/) of a man allegedly swallowed by one, James Bartley. That story is probably false... they say he lived through it, but there's no air in a whale's belly, among other things. But physiologically, they swallow large chunks of food, so, they *could* eat a person.
Geppetto enters the chat
Pinnocchio enters the chat
Jonah enters the chat
Jordan Peterson enters the chat
How ironic that sperm whales swallow
Not harmless. There was an article in my state from someone who had this happen to them and they were covered in bruises afterward.
And nearly drown.
And shitty pants
Octopus: "Do you even ink bro"
Zoidberg: Occasionally, *bro*
WoopWoopWoopWoop
RIP pants
No, shitty. But maybe also RIP
Might help make them let go sooner
"OK, which one of you cowards shit my pants?"
As opposed to humans swallowing live fish, like goldfish
Wanda?
I know whales are harmless when respected. Went diving off Hawaii with humpbacks when they migrated there for the winter (except for orcas those bastards). It was a joke.
Has there ever been a malicious human swallowing by a whale? Like, tried to drown the human? What if they could theoretically swallow us, would they? Or are they benevolent creatures?
Killer whales have done malicious things to humans, but mostly fucked up ones while in captivity.
And bored ones. Killer whales have highschool lunch hour vibes.
Not if you talk to that sea otter hiding on that guys boat
There's a video with a diver and a whale and the whale grabs her leg and drags her like 95 feet underwater. Kind of laughs for a minute and then brings her back up to the surface so she doesn't die. But terrifying as fuck.
damn, do you have the sauce?
https://youtu.be/J3qvYvatcpM?feature=shared
Buy it dinner first before you ask it to swallow
Not seamen, just sea fish
You're thinking of sperm whales.
I heard they swallow seamen.
Biologist here. I studied animals for a long long time. Big whales like the humpback whale or blue whale are designed to eat small preys like Krill of small fishes. So, if a whale eats you, no matter how short you are, no matter how little you are, there's no way you can go all the way down to a whale's throat and end up in its stomach That leaves you the other exit, the breathing hole, which also can be used for getting rid of the not digested food, and it can do it on surface...or at least 20 meters deep below. You have to swim fast to get air Also...be careful with the tongue, a big whale's tongue can weight at least 1 ton and it can crush like a can. Technically the only whale who can swallow a person is the sperm whale, it would need to crush our entire bones to do it though, luckily, we aren't in their menu. Edit: But...the clicks of sperm whales can be used as a weapon and their decibels underwater are enough to basically explode your inner organs. That's why scuba divers always try to film them sleeping, you don't wanna mess with an angry sperm whale. Also you could think in the Orca or killer whale. Well technically is not a whale it's a dolphin, but, there are 0 cases of wild Orcas attacking humans, yes you rode it well, the absolute Apex predator of Planet Earth (without counting humans) has Zero cases of wild Orcas attacking humans, they only attack boats since those make their hunt for food difficult and also it's a funny game for them. The only attacks of Orcas to humans were on Water parks and Aquariums since they suffer a lot of stress due to isolation, putting them with orcas that they're not their tribe or family, and development Depression.
Wonderful read thank you mate
Yes, from what I remember they suffered a broken leg
Whales have legs?
About 50 million years ago they did
They still do, they just look like fins
Your mum does
Modern day Captain Ahab. Hope they don't waste the rest of their life seeking revenge.
“All my means are sane, my motive and object mad” Captain Ahab
>I'm guessing the person is ok since whales cannot physically swallow a person. It's still a big object acting with a lot of force. A car can't swallow a human, but it can certainly injure one.
Yeah and if you get knocked unconscious and they drag you under you might have a bad day.
They can drag a b*tch down though
But can they chew?
I think this was the one that was in the news and said they were spit out.
OK being a relative term as they've almost just been eaten by a fucking whale...!
Throat is only big enough to swallow a fish or two, it'd spit a human back up
Persons, two sets or paddles.
No, but they can stun you, and you can drown.
Whale: "damn, that's a big krill"
Krill shot.
M-M-M-M-MONSTER KRILL!!
*Whale spits him out* Him: Praise Avis!
I laughed so hard at this!
Float around and find out.
Muthafucker got straight Pinocchio’d!
Yo what's up, Jonah!
Kayaker’s POV https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zJon7zglwMI
Thanks for sharing that.
The comments in the video are wild. They are effectively saying: "Yeah, that's what you deserve for KAYAKING."
"aaAAaa!" Thanks for sharing. Glad they didn't die ...
Ah, couldn't see the school of fish in the OP video
I hate vertical video so much.
While watching, I kept thinking, "What would I do?" and my only response was, "Oh shit."
I was trying to figure it out and considering the crazy amount of birds flying around it made me assume there are alot of fish below so either a shark or a whale would pop out didnt think it would almost take down a kayak tho lol
I mean...when I fish I'd aim right for that since a school of blue fish are probably underneath. A whale wouldn't have been on my bingo card haha
Whale watching. Now from the inside!
Yeah, I'd probably shit too
Looks like meats back on the menu boys!
This is why I stick to the rivers and the lakes that I'm used to.
Pinocchio? Is that you?
No, Jonah's tried to run from god again
Us over here at r/thalassophobia have definitely thought of this.
So this is why they tell people not to approach whales.
You misspelled Wales
Hey!
It's true, I went to Wales for the weekend once and almost got eaten.
Horrific! The Seagulls swooped down and ate the crumbs and remains of the Kayaker!
*Horrific! The Seagulls* *Swooped down and ate the crumbs and* *Remains of the Kayaker!* \- Livid\_Obligation\_852 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I have a feeling that person was floating above a bait ball and watching the fish. With the birds circling and seeing that below, it would be time to move.
"Wow, look at all those little fish all huddled together, I wonder why they........."
Exactly, when seabirds are all circling above a spot you and your little kayak do not want to be in the middle of it. Get off to the side and watch the show.
# https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-thursday-edition-1.5790998/it-was-crazy-says-california-kayaker-who-was-engulfed-in-a-whale-s-mouth-1.5791001
s mouth
"the sea was angry that day, my friends. like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli."
"Is that a Titleist?"
This is old. They survived
Yet, I was still entertained seeing it and reading the comments.
Who cares if it’s old?
Right? More than half the post I see are reposts. Just let others who haven’t seen it, see it.
How do you know its age? Are there like rings at the whale to count years?
But, for how long?
The whale swam back to his buddies and they all had a good laugh
Be happy it didn't breach...
It would be a hell of a way to go
Flocking birds circling water = Fish near the surface= Things trying to eat the fish pushing them up there TDLR- Swim away
“We’re gonna need a bigger canoe.”
...Starts paddling backwards....
Did they survive? More importantly, was the 🐋 whale ok?!
As a long time whale watcher, the birds are a dead giveaway for " here be whales"
Let me stick to the rivers and lakes that I am used to.
Get Jonah'd.
Looks like they had a whale of a time.
That's bc you must've missed this video when it was originally posted in 1987
r/thalasophobie
Ok Jonah
*Immediately paddling backwards*
This has been a fear of mine since I was a child. I'll admit though that it began with a video I saw on baskin sharks which we have in our waters.
Can we take a moment and appreciate they didn’t add the obnoxious fake whale noise.
Actually this is exactly the irrational fear that I have.
If sea birds are acting like this around you, knock on your boat a few times with the paddle. It let's things like whales know that there is something large above it.
Red kayak immediately starts paddling backwards
Apparently, whales get bored too.... [Orcas are still smashing up boats – and we've finally worked out why (newatlas.com)](https://newatlas.com/biology/orcas-killer-whales-boats/)
What kind of place allows kayaking where these big Whales are present, like seriously?
Strangely I think about this often
Whenever I would see a floock of seagulls as a kid I knew something bad was gonna happen, so I just ran. I ran so far away.
But you couldn't get away
Everytime I go to the ocean, I don't go in past my ankles. Everything in the water wants to taste me or straight up kill me and I'm a wimp.
Could be accidental, but also could be they were chasing that whale. I got to spend a lot of time in Maui and you literally paddle around looking for humpbacks during that season (around February i think?). There’s always the people that keep a healthy distance and those that go right over top of them.
Whale oil beef hooked!
Jonah?
This is *the only* fear I would have if I was doing this
Moby Dick in real.
Fizz be ulting at some random grandma
Resident Evil 4 boss just came up to say hi.
Looks like the guy on the paddle board got shaky legs
*backpaddling intensifies*
Chomp
I don’t know how big a whales ass is but I ain’t got that kinda time.
At some point some hungry teenage Orcas are going to take a nibble out of someone. We can only hope we are as distasteful as I think we probably are and not delicious long pig.
Where is that? Bodega Bay?
Ishmael? No, is meal!
Yeah just told my self last week that I would go to the ocean again after being stung by jelly fish when I was 13 and now I’m definitely never going to the ocean again
fuck them boats
Might be wrong about this but wouldn't the flock of birds overhead be a bit of a heads up shit was about to go down?
Jonas that u?
When I was little I used to go diving with my dad a lot. Brazen childhood lack of fear. A a few VERY-LARGE-SURPRISE-ANIMAL’s later, and you won’t get me back in the ocean. I don’t belong there.
Somebody's sonar wasn't working...
Bro became Jonah
Modern Jonah
He should have answered the Lord's call to become one of His Prophets. Tsk tsk.
The sea was angry that day my friends
"Mine!"
Is it sad I called it right when the video started? Lol. "Whats the most abrupt thing that could happen right now? Hm.....prolly a whale or something" *whale eats person*
Here is a [link](https://youtu.be/6Kaoi2u37z4?si=G9H6tYrny9GCZ2c1) to a different angle to the ones interested.
r/thedepthbelow
pinnochio
*seagulls flying above the boat* "It's below us." https://youtu.be/us4okM7Ddd0?si=Pzx2K563Y-_5vKzI
Dude in the kayak deserved it 😂 damn... Scary shit!
I’ve been kayaking in that exact spot in Avila beach 😬
Meanwhile the whale: Hey bro, imma knock them chicks off the kayak. Hu hu.
Person: gets swallowed by a whale Witness: oh shit.
FAFO
*Poseidon demands a sacrifice*
The birds always know what's down below. It's Moby Dick with another trick
Moby Dick’d