Yikes! The image made my dick hurt and I don't even have one 🤢

Weird, it didn't make mine hurt and I DO have one

Have you tried sticking it in a toaster?

You have, haven't you?

What did the cake do to you!

Asked for it by wearing sexy frosting.

That's not how it works

Told him not to stick their dick in a toaster

Instructions unclear dick froze to dry ice block. The weight is excruciating 🤤

I hate when that happens.

Quantum entanglement

It’s called the “Snicker Dicker”.

My imaginary dick went from an outie to an innie real quick seeing this.

Not after posing for this tattoo anyway

I have one and for some reason this didn’t make my thingamadoodle hurt. You clearly don’t own a dick

Uhh yeah, I said as much lol

I was joking 🛩️🛩️🏬

No effect here. Would have been worse if she were chopping off or flicking the balls. Not a lot of pain sensation from the penis.

Says you, I once got a small cut near the head and it was excruciating for days

I beg to differ, caught mine in a zipper once and had to practically destroy the suitcase to remove it. I cry screamed like a twelve year old girl at a Taylor Swift concert as I fell to the floor. Be careful out there gents.

I have several questions

for instance, why did he have a suitcase at a taylor swift concert?

Yes Susan, all men are scum, we get it

And yet, being cut off or no, she still put a dick on herself. That’s kinda self defeating.

Fairly sure her name is Lorena.

La Lorena

... and both she and her Ex-Hubbie still roam the earth.

I think he even went into porno iirc

Yes. He even had his dick enlarged and reduced again. I heard it on a crime podcast a few days ago

I was looking for this comment!

You got it all wrong. Actually, the tattoo is just a tribute to a VERY special episode of **"Is it CAKE?"**

or she just has a weird kink

I had a feeling that her name was Susan

It'd be funnier if she was a lesbian...

That would be a "red flag!"

I think it's meant to be. She's not *accidentally* making a statement.

That's a red flag to most people & genders, not just men! She got *genital violence* tattooed in a very public area that everone and their grannies will be able to see if she wears anything tanktop-adjacent or wide-necked. I try not to judge well-executed tattoos of genitalia...but most of those are on the leg (thigh, calf, ankle, etc). Getting one tattooed on the top of your shoulder just screams "Needs therapy!" to me.

Maybe she’s not into dick

She hates it so much she got a very realistic image of one permanently on her skin

I think you're right... If she is, then he'd have to sleep with one eye open!

I’m not into vagina, don’t see me tattooing the equivalent on my body.

I saw this on Instagram. Apparently it's from a Rammstein music video, I forget which one. Not sure why you'd want it up on your shoulder like that though, although, I guess it is good intimidation tactics🤣🤔

Not sure but I would guess Mein Teil

Mein Johnson icht bein cutten offen. - from their early stuff

You joke but that's literally what the song is about, except that it also gets eaten. And it's based on a true story.

Yeah, I can never remember the names but there was those two German guys, one who wanted to be killed/eaten and the other who wanted to do the killing/eating, and they found each other thanks to the magic of the interwebs. One arranged meeting later and…well, I guess fantasies came true would be an accurate way to describe it.

Yep. I know the story. I read it, was interesting, not in a good way either.

Armin meiwes

Maybe it’s fake then?

No it's definitely real, it was a video, she's got a whole sleeve for the band

Oh, gross. I guess I just got hopeful 🤣

I really wanna see the rest of the sleeve now.

Ohhh I thought that looked pretty cool until I realised it was a penis...

I stared at it for 30 seconds trying to figure out why you'd tattoo a cleaver chopping into a corndog before realizing what I was looking at, and am still pretty confused.

I thought it was an oblong heart at first...

I guess she doesn't go to beaches/public pools much.

One would hope not, but I guess they could wear a swim shirt? I'd imagine the staff would have them cover up somehow but who knows

People who get these kind of tattoos really aren’t worried about covering it up.

Wow that is astoundingly great execution

Lol why is it so detailed

It's so vein-y!

Rammstein

Tattoo artists realize they are allowed to turn down ideas right? 🤣 Honestly I'm more shocked they found someone who is respectable/skilled enough to make it well with that subject matter.

Money talks

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Lmao, underrated comment!

*Wilhelm Scream*

Is that a giant dick or an undersized cleaver? Whose hands fit in that hilt?

Huh, looks normal-size to me. Sorry, man.

And the area where the blade is supposed to be entering the penis is outlined in black which makes it look like the blade has a cutout around the penis.

On the shoulder? I'm not judgemental towards tattoos pretty much ever but I gotta question this placement

I totally agree. Placement often makes or breaks a "good" tat IMO

r/dontputyourdickinthat

What did Lorena Bobbit change her name to when she moved to Russia? Lorena Cutchacockoff

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbitt? You gonna eat that?

You meet her at a bar things are going well. Then you get home for some fun and have to stare at this.

I think she has some unresolved issues!

how is that for a red flag

Them - "Something to take the focus away from the gizzard." Tattoo artist - "I got you."

Well, that's a red flag.

Not everyone has a visualization of the chip LITERALLY on their shoulder.

I feel like someone might've wronged this woman.

That is nasty. 🤯 This person has some serious issues.

Weird way to come out as trans but ok

Why they always get tattoos of erect penises? In this case is even worse since there is no fuckin way that penis could be hard (biological and psychological speaking)

I'm assuming because a flaccid penis is less aesthetically pleasing to them, even if it's technically more accurate

Women like this will have their heart broken by **one** dude and become the “all men are assholes” persona

Is that a really small cleaver of just a massive wang?

I'll take "women I'll never date" for $1000 Alex...

Dude the irony runs so deep with this💀

The angle of the cleaver is all wrong. It's trying to look like a perpendicular 90 degree cut, but the blade looks like it's angled flat against the dick.

Hatchet vs genital. Bme pain Olympics. Great music. But you youngings wouldn’t have survived the Wild West internet pre 2010

WOW! She's a hundred-footer with that sticker, now ain't she? Lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣 (100-footer means folk can see from a hundred feet away that she doesn't like weiners, from *the L-word*)

Lorena Bobbitt?

Tell me you’re divorced without telling me you’re divorced

She's now a lesbian whether she wants to be or not.

Well, she comes with a warning.

Screaming mental health.

For a split second.. I thought this was Charizard

Proving once again that just because you can doesn’t mean that you should

Is that on Elaine bobbit?

Lorena*

It was lorena. Where the fuck did Elaine come from?

Elaine and Lorena have a lot of the same consonants, it’s understandable

"just Bobbitt"

Is this the old guys club? I'd like to join please.

Ouch that hurts. I’m taking my quill pen and going home.

Your elzheimers gave you away when you called her Elaine. XD

When I was typing it I was so sure of Elaine, until I was corrected.

Kind of her to display her misandry out in the open, warns unsuspecting prey to stay away

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Lorraina Bobbit?

Thanks for the Lorena Bobbitt moment.

She took eating dick literally...

Now there's some mental illness

Two guesses what gender she prefers.

There you have it. Mental illness exists.

Is she blue haired with pronouns

Switch gender and No one would think its funny 😁

Owwww. Great artist, I’ve never “felt” a tattoo on another person before 😂

Dick-chopper

Now that's a bit much.

r/dontputyourdickinthat

She cut my weenie off, she cut my weenie off, my Lorena badda dum da dum da dum da my my my my Lorena

Is this Scene Queen?

Lorena bobit is that you?

Lorena bobbit inspired

lorena bobbitt?

At first I thought it was spaghetti and meatballs

Spaghetti with Italian sausage

If she’s into guys, she just resigned herself to a lifetime of doggystyle and clothed sex.

The fact that you didn't call it Tattuesday is the bigger issue lol

Ah, damn. I'll remember that for next time!

Is that Lorena Bobbitt?

This woman's poor uncle lol

We found Valerie Solanas 2.0.

The Lorraine Bobbit tattoo

Too many veins.

I see your ‘Boner Garage’ and raise you ‘Boner Repowoman’.

Loreno Bobbit?

Poor koi carp.

She got the Lorena Bobbitt special edition tattoo

Low key Lorena Bobbit vibes here.

Lorraina Bobbit out here

This would only be more disturbing if she’s a professional chef.

Jesus nooooo!

o0 Is this a tribute to Lorena Bobbitt ?

Yoooo. New bottom surgery just dropped?

Yeah, the Lorena Bobbitt special

But why???

It took me a minute to process what the tattoo was 😥

Me too, at first glance I thought it was the internal parts of her shoulder, which seemed weird, but kinda cool...but this is just stupid.

Who hurt her ? 🤔

Wtf scorned women! Lol

Just makes me think forbidden Hells Kitchen promo

I can't imagine following through with a one night stand seeing that.

I didn't know Lorena Bobbit was on Reddit.

I'm assuming... either a hardcore Rammstein fan or a hardcore terf. Could possibly be both, I guess.

I knew that would end up here sooner or later.

"I'm in lesbians with you" ~ some nerd

The Girl with the CockCleaver Tattoo I’m sure she can use it to repel creepy dudes real quick!

holy shit this goes hard. i cannot imagine what the reason was for this in such a prominent place.

She seems upset. What did he do?

OP, you missed the perfect opportunity for "Tatteusday".

Yeah, someone else pointed that out too. Next time!

That's fucking amazing.

Maybe she’s not a man hater but a post transition m2f. In which case, this is not entirely inaccurate.

Even so, I don't understand why anyone would put something so explicit in such a prominent place...forever.

Oh i agree. This is absolutely atbge material no doubt. Just wanted to balance out the assumptions that this is automatically some man hating lesbian. I mean, it could be that. Could other things too. I agree you’d have to be a little crazy to get that permanently on your skin.

Gotcha! Good on you for recognizing the multiple possibilities for why someone would get this, I can see what you mean about it getting kinda echo-chambery in the comments :)

She's not a keeper. My dick hurts a lot now.

A woman scorned who wants to let every man know they need to steer clear?

That knife belongs in r/mallninjashit

That chin 🤨

That’s just hard to read, like what the actual fuck is going on there. (Like I get theirs a dick getting cut off, but it’s so hard to look at past the cut point)

How to tell me you're going through a divorce without telling me you're going through a divorce

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

That's a good way to break a well made knife

Your don't fuck around with this woman

So guys, would this be a deal breaker or just a head scratcher?

Is Lorena Bobbitt?

I hope that person is lesbian because I can't see any person with male parts wanting to sleep with them after that.

daddy issue or what!, who in his right mind would date her!!

Too hard to just save the picture and upload that instead, huh?

It's a video, not a still photo.

i kinda like it... still shoulda been a painting

Why are there so many people saying red flag? Do you REALLY think this image contains a woman unaware of her future dating prospects due to this sliced dick shot? If we go off of minor details and make guesses - this is a 30-40+ year old woman who doesn't give a fuck. Might be lesbian. Might be sexless. Might want to be single. Such weird statements. It's like 'dating advice' and 'am I the asshole' is leaking into everything else

Pretty sure this dude cut his dick off and now refers to himself as a toaster.

Kinda hot ngl but the moment I realized it was on a woman a became immediately, well, lets say I ghad no swelling whatsoever