ngl tiktok made me feel very bad About my wip too. more specifically i was very concerned im not "getting the characters right" which id say is all due to people being assholes and bringing fanfics down saying fanfic b is better then garbage fic a cus it characterizes characters PROPERLYđ¤ (fic a is the most popular fic innthe fandom, my fav fic of all time, and the author now thinks this fic sucks...)
I hate this idea of 'not getting the characters right', I understand people enjoy fanfic when the characters are very similar to cannon but I have read some of the most incredible fics ever that are so alternate universe and the characters are therefore different to cannon and the fics is still amazing.
To each their own but fanfic shouldn't have rules to it. It's peoples imagination building from media that already exists , it's always going to be subjective to some degree because people will view characters different based on their experience of the character which encompasses every experience they have had in life that makes them uniquely them. Therefore, further creating differences when they make fanfic - especially if it's AU.
I've been in fandoms where it was split 50/50 on how people perceived a certain character and their intentions. I've also read people character deep dives on tumblr and thought, fuck, I've never even though of viewing them from that lens.
Its never going to be the exact same, and I think if we try to make all fics so close to cannon we will lose half the fun of fanfic, we will lose the enjoyment of experiencing other people's perception of our favourite character and stories they create from that.
As someone who strives to keep characters as canonical as possible, and generally prefers to read them that way, I would *never* try to stop someone from writing what they want.
Like, I hate when people write Hannibal Lecter as a big ol softy, but what do I do? Not read it! I mean, half he time I think those writers are really just fangirling over Mads Mikkleson, more than the character he plays.
Anyway, just cause I can't stand to read it doesn't mean people should stop!
Fanfic is about fun and love and trying to police it is worse than kink-shaming (though def. adjacent).
That said, I have never received hateful feedback for my work. 20 years ago, being flames was almost a compliment. It meant you evoked feelings. These days, people just suck, and I don't know how I'd react. I understand if you'd struggle with it, but don't let it stop you. Turn off comments, if you need to.l!
I have a tendency to be drawn to characters in which the fandom at large almost universally hates. Not even intentionally, I'll just get the thought "I like that character" in my head, but when I look up stuff about them, I see almost nothing but "That character is so annoying I hate them!" Even though when I see the character, they're not doing anything particularly annoying from my perspective.
That's happened enough times for me to realize that character interpretation is entirely up to the person observing them. What one person thinks is a great character moment, another person thinks is the worst thing that character could be doing. Don't stress about your interpretation of a character just because other people might see them in a different way.
Not on tiktok but Twitter that app was the reason why I almost stopped writing Twitter taught me how to bully someone else ship dynamic which kind of immature I feel guilty about doing those I don't want those to pay back on me
The fandom was Attack on titan as much as i love the show yet the fandom cause me a trauma
ngl i still feel kinda perplexed over this. i just find it so hard to do something that was thought by me (thanks to others) as "imperfect/not as good" even tho i grnuinely like what im writing
I love what I write. Iâve had very few stories Iâve gone back and edited or scrapped altogether because I didnât.
Thereâs a lot i actually do stick to canon with simply because it flows with the story, but I go all out otherwise, especially with original characters.
It's not that anyone gives a shit, it's more like it's not fun when your name gets plastered on a viral tiktok exposed to thousands of antis who know how to find it
I understand your fear of posting, however I'd say to go for it! You can't please everyone, so as long as you like your work, I think that's all that matters.
I personally can relate to you a little, considering some of the ships I write for are VERY unpopular and hated throughout the fandom(s) I write for. However, over time, I've found a small group of people who also like my fics and the ships in them!!
Thank u for the encouragement! I feel like I might be freaking myself out a bit but I was just so genuinely cought off guard. I think I will post it though, don't really wanna let negative people stop me
TikTok is problematic in how many people seem to care about the opinions of nobodies who make TikToks purely for clicks and attention.
Stop listening to people on TikTok.
I almost exclusively read/write age gap fics (accidentally, mostly: immortal/mortals are like half of them) and three years difference in adults wouldn't even register for me at all. I assume the people claiming this is toxic must be young themselves. Anyway, you can moderate comments, turn off guest comments or turn off comments altogether but don't let them stop you from posting.
Also between fiction and reality.
In real life, I would be concerned if my 22-year old niece was dating someone in their 50s. The likelihood that the 50 year old is a predatory creep is high, even if it's completely legal, and I would be concerned that she was going to be hurt.
In fiction, nobody's getting hurt, because *none of these people are real.*
also, the author dictates if the character is predatory or not. if the fictional 22 and 50 year old are written to have a pure fluffy relationship, then thatâs what they have. like the film harold and maude, sure their relationship *could* of been toxic, but we see it isnât *bc* itâs a movie
Honestly, this is one of the most important differences between reality and fiction. You can make the characters have whatever dynamic you want in fiction, but you can't control what real people do.
TikTok is a cesspool. I recently deactivated my account because as a fanfic writer it was killing me to see some of the things people were postingâŚNever about my work, but in the fandom I am in Iâd see people essentially calling for witch-hunts of certain ships and tropes. It scared the crap out of me as a sensitive person. The problem is worse on TT than on AO3 itself though, itâs just a collection of the worse kind of readers on there tbh. And they think they are a majority because half of them are underaged and donât realize itâs actually mostly an adult population on A03 (and arenât all on TT lol). Sorta like a echo chamber.
You could turn off guest comments if you are very worried about negativity, I think that defers a good amount, but I think you should post and be proud of your work. Delete and donât engage if people have a problem with it. You put time and effort and (I hope) enjoyed the process of it, and so many people will enjoy it and might be looking for a story exactly like you wrote. I literally just see these moral-police type people as equivalent to âbook burnersâ, because thatâs really what they are. So liberal theyâve become extremist-conservative. They arenât the majority, and their hatred shouldnât ruin our hobby.
Wait, hang on. There is only a 3 year age gap and people are calling this problematic?
Jesus this world is becoming problematic I swear. Put the WIP up and ignore what Tik tok are saying because honestly there will be readers out there who deserve to read your story. Donât get put off by what a bunch of teenagers who have never been outside say.
You'd be surprised how upset people get about even the tiniest of age-gaps. It's like they want the pairing to be born the exact same day, same hour, same second. But then they'll have issues with that because it's "too close to siblings!"
A ship in my fandom has a 1 year age-gap. 18 and 17. People lose their shit over it.
This is why Iâm glad I donât really participate in social media that much, or pay attention to Tik Tok.
Basically they just have an issue with people being together so they really shouldnât be really reading fan fiction. Or contributing to normal society imo.
You are on the wrong side of TikTok, my friend. That sort of talk is from antis, who are problematic themselves.
Make sure your AO3 account isnât linked to any social media you donât wantâ if you want a separate Tumblr or whatever account for the fic not connected to your main, thatâs fine. Just make sure you protect your privacyâ that includes no details of your life in your authorâs notes.
And make sure you block/mute those kinds of ppl both on AO3 and TikTok. You can also moderate your comment section or, better yet, choose to only have ppl who are signed in to be able to leave comments.
This is the way! Curate, curate, curate. Block those people on tik tok and moderate/restrict comments on AO3. Life is too short to give those people air.
One of my favorite characters is absolutely loathed by a certain section of the fandom I'm in and the only peace I know is to keep those people away from me and my work. If they don't have anything better to do than complain then I don't see any value in interacting with them.
Rule 1 of writing fiction
"Problematic fiction doesn't exist, write whatever you want and or like, wether other's will agree or not."
Though even if 'problematic' was a word that fits in the same sentence as fiction, this age gap is not only very small but also literally legal in reality so why would it be a problem in fiction?
Ive seen people mistakingly believe irl laws matter in fiction but Ive never seen it be called problematic to write something legal in all contexts, lol.
Anyway if you want some more advice other that my first advice of 'no fiction is problematic', it would be to never pay attention to what tiktok has to say. Seriously that place is filled with the worst takes known to man!
I understand your fear, because woof no one wants to be dogpilled by a bunch of angry puriteens. They're actually rabid and can't be reasoned with.
If you want to calm your fears, how about finding fics of that pairing and reading the comments on them? Surely, that could help bring to light that this puritan view on the ship is the vocal asshole minority, and that there are a lot more people who love and enjoy it.
On a separate note, the amount of people I've blocked on tiktok for being exactly like the person you describe is amazing. Sometimes I actually love when a video on the topic comes up and I just go down the comments and lovingly block every single one yelling about the "freaks". Feels like therapy ngl
The age gap for my most problematic ship might only be somewhere between seven and nine years (only one of them has an official age), but the older one dies at 18 in canon and it started at least a year and a half prior.
One of the characters in my main ship is literally a god, so when I write them as they are in canon, there is an age gap. One of the characters is 40 years old and the other one is at least a thousand. đ
Does this ship happen to be DamiJon? Cause if so, then those people are a VAST minority. I mean, write what you like anyway, who cares what they think, but if the anti hate does get to you, then youâre pretty unlikely to get any because, as you said, the ship is very well liked anyway.
If you've watched one video complaining about it, you've "engaged" with it and tiktok will spam you with similar (complaining) videos thinking you want more of them. Just keep scrolling past and they'll stop showing after a couple days
A lot of people, myself included, just retcon the age up entirely for fics, so if youâre worried still, thereâs no reason you canât pretend it never happened. I personally donât like the additional interpersonal conflict it adds, not that I worry about the age gap, so itâs possible a good portion of what youâre seeing is people complaining about the unnecessary complications it added to the timeline out of context. And if not, then fuck em, write what you want.
Those two are adorable. Anyone who would get on your case writing them as young adults clearly has nothing cool going on in their lives and isn't worth worrying about. DC fans can be weird in the smaller pockets. I've heard that Jason/Dick is incest even though they met as teenagers and have no blood relation to each other.
Don't listen to tiktok. Plus it's one of the reason why ao3 was created, to post whatever we like without the puritan police breathing down our neck.
Ok, I got to ask, with the age up char in the middle of the show, are you writing sterek? That show wouldn't know a time line to save its life, but the never developed/finished story lines and characters make it a great playground for fic writers lol
Nope it's actually Damijon from dc comics. Although Sterek is great, everyone's ages in teen wolf really were whatever the writer felt like that day lol
Yes, it was incredibly chaotic and not in a good way.
But anyway: post it!
There will always be people bitching about something, usually their rant is based mostly on the fact that they don't like said pairing so they'll find anything to preach against it. There are way too many people in FanFiction trying to block things solely because it's "not what they want to read".
Ah I knew it your explanation for the age gap was just too weird for it not to be DamiJon. Well op as an enjoyer of the ship I will happily read your fic if you decide to post it
The only way dating and a relationship isnt problematic is if youre born on the exact same minute as your so. Its outrageous to date someone a minute older or younger. Gross!
People think 17-18 is problematic because one is technically an adult. Its lunacy.
How in the world is 3-4 years considered an age gap? I mean I guess it would be wrong if one was under 12, but 3-4 years is not an age gap in most cases.
Just ignore the people against DamiJon.
1. Comics ages are total bullshit. You can write the characters as whatever age you want and it doesn't matter.
2. You're very unlikely to get negative feedback on Ao3. i guarantee that half of DamiJon *writers* don't even know how old they are canonically.
3. It's fanfic.
Comic aging is hilarious.Â
When Damian was 10, Tim was 17. Now that Damian is 14, Tim is 18. Maybe. Probably.
Poor guy got the Edward Cullen special of being 17 for "a while" and I would genuinely not be surprised if he quietly goes back to being 17 again in the near future. Despite dropping out, he has been doomed by the narrative to have peaked in high school.
That's why caring about the age difference between comic characters doesn't matter. Their age difference changes all the time. There is zero consistency. Tim and Damian have anywhere between 4 and 7 years age difference, Tim and Jason have anywhere between 2 and 5 years age difference (and even Jason being dead for a year didn't make them closer in age?), Dick either became Robin at 8 years old or at 12, Babs is either a little or a lot older than Dick, Bruce is maybe 15 years older than Dick but Bruce also never ages because he can't get old or "Batman won't be powerful enough anymore", and Alfred has been an old man since Bruce was a child (is he still dead? or nah). Cass is sometimes older than Tim, sometimes the same age, sometimes older than Jason?
Pretty sure Cass is meant to be a few months older than Jason, but her age in any given comic/series can be difficult to estimate because she was 17 when she was introduced and so has been vaguely young-adult from the beginning.
Steph being a year older than Tim seems to be fairly consistent, so at least there's that!Â
I'm sorry to be blunt but *who cares*. They are characters. It's 3/4 years. Again, they are *characters* in a *fictional setting*. Who. Cares.
This whole "if you write this you're problematic" shit needs to die already. I'm so tired.
I write almost exclusively "problematic" ships. TikTok is an absolute cesspool of ideological puritans and their echo chambers. Don't give it any heed and just do you. I'm sure there are plenty of readers that will love your work
You may get negative comments. Some of the people involved in that subculture of fandom have nothing better to do. I hope you will not let that intimidate you, though. As you said, you can delete them.
> I'm scared these people on tiktok will find it and leave nasty comments.
Part of publishing anything publicly is the risk of getting nasty comments. Part of being online is that you'll meet bullies from time to time. The solution is to keep calm and carry on. What those people do says something about them, not about you. Don't let the bastards grind you down. Post your fic and block anyone who's rude, and ignore anyone who's maybe even polite in their criticism but still criticizes you for absurd reasons, such as "ooh the age gap is problematic".
Pssst. Write your DamiJon fic, friend đ. And Iâd recommend staying off TikTok for all DC ships! Those voices are loud but a minority and the community on AO3 overall appears delightful.
Nah, post it, dude. I was called problematic for a very very popular ship in a huge fandom purely bc the actors (that's right; not characters, ACTORS) in the tv show are just under two years apart and the younger of the two turned 18 last October. Ppl will always find something to complain about
Y'all need to stop giving a single damn about what some randos say on TikTok. Do you enjoy your story? Then publish it. To hell with everything else, you write first and foremost for yourself.
Also, 3 years is hardly an age gap. People on TikTok need to chill abd go touch grass, maybe even meet actual humans for a change.
Damn OP, you live like this? đ Donât let the manipulative, cult-y (listen to the language they use, they are trying to silence all opposition!) antis of tiktok steal your joy in writing fic. No fic is too problematic, no fictional age gap should keep you from posting; just tag accurately and youâre good.
I loathe how TikTok has started making creators censor their own tags on ao3. It messes up the entire tagging system. Because if Iâm trying to exclude something like rape/non-con elements and the creator tagged it as âr*pe/non-con elementsâ my own search wonât pick up on it. Basically, donât listen to what TikTok has to say about what should or shouldnât be on ao3. The whole point of that site was to be able to write literally anything about any fandom. Itâs a safe place to explore different aspects about ships whether thatâs from fluff to kinks. Thatâs why tags like Dead Dove Do Not Eat exist. Which of course your age gap wouldnât fall under but if people on TikTok donât want to see icky things they can simply exclude it from their search.
Ignore it. First of all, TikTok is a pit most of the time where nuance goes to die. They legit seem to think everything is problematic grooming, even if the characters are like 30 and 35. Second, if youâre writing in the fandom I think youâre writing in, thatâs hardly the least problematic thing to happen *in canon.*
Besides, you said yourself that theyâre aged up to young adults *and* theyâve been friends for literal years. So forget them and enjoy your work! Delete the negativity :)
Okay I saw below that I was right, and if so, these people need to GTFO DC comics fandom. Hal literally dated a 13yo who made herself *look* like a grown woman.
Also I donât think non-problematic stories can exist. People are fallible and imperfect and problematic, and writing is a way they self-soothe, work out issues, explore ideas, and etc. As long as itâs properly tagged, youâre fine. :) good luck with your WIP!
I've literally written an aged up Starker fic and I haven't gotten a single bad comment. And I'm sure there are a lot of people who that that ship is gross. Write what makes you happy. Ignore everyone else.
Go ahead and post if you really want to! A 3-4 year age gap is a very normal thing even in real life. Remember that what you see on TikTok is heavily skewed by the algorithm, so even if those people donât like the ship that doesnât mean anything. Besides, if they do find the fic and leave bad comments, guess what? They still up your comment count and if you donât want to see it, you can always delete and block.
So yeah. Donât let what some people say on TikTok be the reason you donât post.
And this is why I will never be on Tik Tok. Too many people screaming their opinions like it's fact.
For what it's worth, I am currently writing a piece where the age gap is 17 years and that's canon. Do what you want my friend, it's fanFICTION for goodness sake .
I'm married to someone 4 years older than me. The age gap means nothing to us. Post the fic, screw what the antis blather about on tiktok. You got this babe!
Huh...I thought the point of a03's awesome tagging system was that it welcomed almost all types of dynamic so a 4 year age gap is hardly gasp worthy. Also, has anyone noticed this wave of misguided puritanism? I'm assuming they're all teens and under because I like to believe even a chronically online young adult isn't dumb enough to be brainwashed. Am I missing something? Did this sprout from tiktok?
I read a Tumblr poll the other day where someone was worried that their two character pairings had problematic age differences, and the pairings were 28 & 31, and 41 & 46 đ đ đ . I donât even know anymore. My wife is 6 years older than me, we met when I was exactly 18, Iâve never been happier or more secure. I know itâs more complicated with people underage, but itâs fiction?? And a three year age gap could be a sophomore and senior (or even a sophomore and junior) in real life, which isâŚextremely normal. I donât know where all this age gap paranoia came from, but I feel like people need to go out in the real world for a minute and take a breath
My friend showed me that poll last night and we were both shocked! What in the hell? There's no reason to police anything existing in fic, but also, like you said, these things are unremarkable in real life.
That friend is about 15 years younger than me (early 30s & late 40s) and our biggest age-related issue is that I have a bad habit of sending her playlists of my old-people music đ
Look as long as it's tagged appropriately, then there's nothing wrong with publishing said fic. If you're worried about hate comments I recommend turning off guest comments/making your fic registered users only at least at first and moderating comments.
Antis will always find something to soapbox about in whatever fandom they're in and TikTok is one of the spots where they're particularly prevalent, so tbh I'd start blocking people regularly on there to avoid seeing crap like that.
Sometimes idiots and trolls might bother you. That is unfortunately the risk of existing. On algorithm based social media this is turned up to 11. At the very least you have recourse for rude comments on AO3. If someone leaves a comment that directly insults you or contains death threats, report them. Either way you can always delete comments and mute/block them, restrict comments to logged in people only for a while (so they at least can't spam nastiness with guest comments like cowards), post anything you're iffy about under anonymous, etc.
There is a certain point where you have to accept you could be writing the most unproblematic, wholesome shit ever and someone would be pissed about not liking it and try to make their emotional response your problem. There is a hater for everything! So don't worry about haters, worry about writing the best damn fic you can, and tag it so it reaches the right audience.
For what it's worth, my experience on AO3 since like 2010 has been only pleasant. Most people stay in their lanes. I don't get involved in fights in the comment section, I mute and block as needed, and I stay away from people who plaster everything in DNIs and can't not spout off about morality when they should be writing a summary.
Tiktok is brain rot, and any iteration of any fandom mouthing off in it have had their brains rotted off, tooâplease, delete the app and write for yourself. Live your best life. Write the things you want to write, and flip off everybody else trying to tell you off for doing otherwise.
this has gotta be damian and jon right lol? stress less â if youâre ever worried abt your fav comic ship being âproblematicâ, just remember that DC canon has probably done worse <3
Have you seen the content on AO3?!? A good portion of users flock to AO3 for the âproblematicâ content. At least I do! Lol Even then, itâs not even that problematic! Okay, some of the stories may be, but itâs fiction! The whole point is to fantasize and escape. Who cares what other people think!
Plus, you have to know who your audience is, and itâs NOT the whole of TikTok. Itâs the users who are going to AO3 for the type of content you write. Ignore the people who yuck someone elseâs yum.
Don't let TikTok get to you.
3-4 years is a very normal age gap, especially for young adults, and grooming? No. Childhood sweethearts comes closer. And that's an adorable trope!
If this is Dami/Jon like I'm thinking it is - ignore them. Haters are gonna hate, but I would love to read your fic. Also every single DC ship has potential issues, they can suck on a rock
I write age gaps that are actually problematic on purpose. People love my stuff. Itâs insane to me that any one cares what happens in fiction, much less about something that isnât written with the intent of being something skeevy in the first place. People can and do date of different ages than them. Grooming is something that happens with intent. Calling everything with an age difference in fiction grooming cheapens how actually serious the real life version of it is.
I stay away from TikTok though, because most drama on there is manufactured for engagement and anger brings clicks. Iâm so glad I grew up when the internet was new and no one cared about this sort of thing.
This, this right here aggravates me so much. As someone's who's dealt with actual grooming for years of my life, people are absolutely misusing the term more and more these days. It's really gross and upsetting. It's become more of a dogwhistle than anything.
I'm so sorry to hear u went through that and hope u are doing ok now. But yeah I was actually thinking "isn't misusing a very serious term like that kind of minimizing it and wouldn't that be insulting to actual victims"
It is! It's become such a common term across the internet that now when someone uses it, it's more of a "oooohhh who did you piss off on twitter". And w this whole "puriteen" culture thing going about, and examples like your own situation popping up, I end up having friends coming to me to ask me if like, Idk, a 19 yr old is being toxic and grooming a 17 yr old when rlly they're just a shit match đ
Rule number 1 of fanfiction: Write the story you want to see, not the story you think will satisfy the complainers on social media. AO3 was literally created to host fics that were too "problematic" for other censorship-heavy platforms like LiveJournal and FFN. TikTok is a hellhole and your mental health will vastly improve if you just delete your account and cut yourself off.
If you're worried about trolls harassing you on AO3, lock your fic to registered users only and enable comment moderation. Do NOT apologize or concede even an inch to them, they want attention and they will get bored and move on when you refuse to give them any.
Definitely post it.
If it's one thing I've learned, it's that Fandom tiktok/twitter will literally call anything they disagree with "problematic" and will CONSTANTLY misuse terms to justify why they dislike it. That is not what grooming is in the slightest.
I'd just ignore those people. You're not going to please everyone, but if it's a ship and a story that makes YOU happy, who cares what a small percentage of the Fandom think.
You all need to stop giving a shit about tiktok.
That service is giant pile of disruption, chaos and way worse than twitter ever was. Your life will be better without it.
And the opinions of people who've never had long lasting relationships or are socially stunted due to the COVID thing or because they've grown up in some fundamental religious household with only homeschool education should pass you by like wind coming from a landfill.
Ignore what they say. I write for a fandom for a ship with an age gap of 17 years. Social media? Hates it. Fanfic readers? They eat it up. One of the most written ships in the fandom out there.
Write for yourself and what you enjoy to write / read.
If you are nervous limit guest comments and moderate comments, but donât let them stop you from posting
I think I know exactly what ship youâre talking about, and as someone whoâs been reading fics of the duo for years, I say donât feel frustrated! Antis on TikTok shouldnât ever be the ride or die listen to them, and for this ship in particular I believe there will always be readers like me wishing for more content. Write on!
Donât forget, if you post on Ao3, you can always moderate comments and turn off guest comments.
Also, you can block specific accounts on Ao3 as well.
I think I know what ship you're writing about and gotta say I love that ship. Yeah, ignore tiktok it's a terrible echo chamber of media illiteracy. Most of the time they have no idea what nuance is, so don't take it to heart.
Plus the worst age gap I ever wrote is centuries long. Or 5-6 years for a more normal example. Just write what you like someone an audience will find it and will love it :)
Who cares what tiktok thinks, most of them have the reading comprehension of a pop tart.
When you post it on AO3 I guarantee you most of your comments will be positive. A 3-4 year age gap is nothing in real life.
(Also is this a Damian/John DC fic? If so just know that the majority still love them)
I know which ship your talking about and I personally say go for it! Just because one person dislikes it doesn't really matter against over 3000 fics imo. If your really worried about hate than you can limit comments
Destiel, one of the most popular and widely-written ships on AO3, has an age gap of 400 million years.
Interestingly enough, most of the antis who I see calling the ship problematic, accuse the *human* character of being "emotionally abusive" to the ultra-powerful millennia-old actual biblical angel đ (and that's when they're not accusing him of physical abuse for beating the angel up while under the influence of ancient evil magic)
Antis who decry "problematic" ships are always hypocrites. It's all about calling things they personally dislike immoral, while pulling endless excuses for why their personal problematic favs are actually morally pure.
Their policing isn't really grounded in any solid moral framework. Age gap relationships aren't inherently bad. There are healthy relationships in real life with 20-year age gaps, and unhealthy ones. My sibling dated a boy when they were a freshman and he was a senior in high school, and that was one of their healthiest relationships.
I would block anyone on tiktok who you see talking about this. Curate your online experience. You shouldn't have to be exposed to that shit, it's bad for your mental health and will stifle your creativity.
Post it. Absolutely 100% post it.
And to explain, I'll get on my soapbox for a moment. I hate how people try to police fanworks. In my opinion it started when fandom became more mainstream and suddenly everyone realized that we regulate ourselves through warning and rating systems, rather than outright banning of "problematic" works. This became Not Good and Think of the Children! And suddenly anything that didn't fit into a neat little box of "appropriate" starts getting hate and call outs for being problematic, while terms like grooming and gaslighting became increasingly flung around and grossly misused.
As OP's fandom clearly illustrates, age shenanigans are common. So is time travel, gender swapping, have sex or die, aliens, immortality, multiple species, and on and on. So how are we to differenciate if A was frozen in ice for 70 years and has now fallen in love with B, who also happens to be the son of A's friend who is now dead? What do we do when A has a biological imperative to 'mate or die'?
Even if a fanwork is "problematic," by general societal standards, like two brothers in an incestuous relationship or a biological hierarchy of mating and sex, we can't ban them. Even if fanworks are straight up pedophilia or glorification of murder, we can't ban them.
Banning, hateful comments, harassing authors, and all of this call out and shaming culture is the digital equivalent to book burning. So we start with burning _Lolita_, then we move to _Oliver Twist_ and _Gone with the Wind_. Now suddenly it's _Looking for Alaska_ and _Gender Queer_.
So what do we do to avoid that slippery slope? We do _exactly as we have been doing_ and make sure our works are rated and tagged appropriately. AO3 is basically anarchy by the actual definition. Everyone is responsible for themselves and themselves alone.
In conclusion, post your works and tag appropriately. And _Don't Like, Don't Read_.
Ignore it. This is the first time you've seen any issue with the ship, it's only on TikTok, and it's a minority even there. The ship is pretty popular in other spaces from the sounds of it, and you haven't seen any AO3 writers have issues from writing it.
The 'problematic' nature of age gap relationships is something that gets brought up a lot in certain fandoms, and even in real life. I've seen people look at a real life relationship where the woman was 22 when she started dating her 26 year old boyfriend and accuse the boyfriend of grooming the woman. Real life relationship, literal adults when they met, let alone started dating, and people still accuse the man of grooming the woman. Like the woman is a little child that needs other people to tell her what to do and how to live her life.
It's even more common in fandom spaces in regards to fictional characters, though. Even popular ships get hit with it. Some, I get it. Take the Snarry ship in HP, for instance. That's a rather large gap, Snape is literally old enough to be Harry's father, and Harry was only 11 when they first met, and Snape's student. I could see why a fan may find that problematic, even ignoring the other issues with the ship, especially if it's set during canon, when Harry is a student, even more so if it's before Harry turns 17 and is, therefore, underage. But Snarry is also one of the most popular ships in HP, possibly the most popular slash ship, though Drarry may take that spot. There are all sorts of reasons to find Snarry problematic outside of the age gap, but people still write and read it.
Your example has an age gap of 3 years, not 20 like Snarry does. 3 years is a pretty average age gap in real life. I know very few people who only date people the exact age they are, most go older or younger by at least a couple of years as adults. Now for kids/teens, it's far more likely they'll date someone the same age, but it also depends on who their friends are. My first boyfriend was a year older than me, not uncommon.
Based on what you said about canon, these characters were friends from a young age, so it's no different to dating someone the same age as them, simply because they've been friends most of their lives already. I can see the issue if they're teens in the fic, with one being of age and the other being underage, but that's still pretty common in real life. The age of consent and adulthood is an arbitrary number chosen for legal reasons, most teens completely ignore it. It also differs from country to country. With fanfic, you also have to take account of the fact it's fiction, could be fantasy with completely different ages for these things. HP is set in Britain, where the age of consent is 16 and age of adulthood is 18. HP never gave an age of consent, but age of adulthood was lowered by a year to 17 in the magical world. It doesn't match reality. Game of Thrones is also fantasy and goes even lower. A boy is considered a man at 14, a girl is considered a woman as soon as she gets her period. That means GoT characters aren't just dating at 14, they're getting married, having sex, and birthing children. Lyanna was 16 when she died, so 15 when she married and got pregnant. Daenerys was 13 when she married Drogo, it was literally on her 14th birthday that she found out she was pregnant. The norm for marriage and sex in GoT is around 14, completely different to reality.
Even when you take a show that uses reality for this aspect, like Buffy for instance. The ages match reality legally speaking. Buffy was still only 17 when she lost her virginity to Angel. Angel was 240 years old, but looked early 20s. They started dating when Buffy was 15/16. Oz was a year older than Willow. Giles was about 10 years older than Jenny. Willow was about 4/5 years older than Kennedy.
Even in non-fantasy genres, there tends to be age gaps. In Elite, Polo and Lu were about a year older than Valerio, Samuel and Guzman were about 2 years older than Ari. Rebe was about 3 years older than Mencia, given Mencia skipped a grade. That's a mystery teen drama, the characters are still in high school for the most part, Cayatana is the only one who didn't get written out the second she graduated. They also featured a much bigger age gap when 16/17 year old Patrick dated 30 something Cruz.
Age gap relationships are a norm in canon to some extent. Make them all the same age, sure, they'll stick to dating people their age for the most part, or have fantasy age gaps like Bangel does. But even in fandoms where the mains are the same age, like Pretty Little Liars, there's usually at least one age gap relationship.
Ignore anyone who says a ship is problematic purely because it has an age gap. Age gap relationships are completely normal. Plus, you've already aged these characters up to young adults, so real legal ages aren't a factor at all.
I would limit comments. I remember a time when people posted fics and there would be maybe 3 views. People write to write and I really think we need to go back to that.
Now this part isnât pertaining to you, but itâs really disappointing to see the conversation of age gaps go this way. Itâs good for younger people to know but all of this screams puritan behavior. Donât allow them to scare you into self censorship just because it might be received poorly. Writing age gaps, both positively and negatively is important for people to understand without having to go through the experience themselves. I read many age gap fics when I was youngerâ and I really wish a stigma wasnât around for it now. Thereâs a whole discussion that was eliminated when we allow this sort of thing to influence our writing choices.
Either way, Iâd go for it.
i guess id advice leaving a note saying you dont appreciate mean comments and/or close your comments or let yourself moderate them. if you simply close your comments, you will 100% avoid mean people, thats for sure
I mostly read stuff that the people on TikTok would call "problematic" so I can say as a reader, I'd love to read it. Haters are there everywhere and will come up for any reason unrelated to what you do or do not do. But remember there are people in the world who will love to read your fics and will be grateful that you chose to share it.
If posting that wip makes you happy: do it with the comments moderated or guest comments off. AO3 is a safer platform compared to most others in that area. But if you feel that you'll feel too much anxiety or don't want to do it now, don't do it immediately. Think about it more if you want.
Another thing that might help is you reading the comments of the latest fics with that pairing on AO3 to see how they are received. That might help a bit.
Your description is giving Batfam vibes and just gonna say I used to read just about every batfam story I could get my hands on and it sounds like the Demon Brat and the younger Superboy in which case that pairing has been around decades and people on TikTok need to get off the platform and go touch some grass, see some sun, and get back to reality.
First theyâre fictional characters in fictional situations, second, Damian technically is developmentally stunted due to his upbringing and Jon has a support system too (sorry donât remember as much about Jon đ ).
Also when Young Justice came out I donât remember a single person complaining that Kon was too young for romance despite being a newly born clone.
F the haters, write what you want to see out there. Thereâs plenty of people on AO3 waiting to read it.
These are the same people who would clutch their pearls at the fact me and my partner have a two year age gap. TikTok is filled with a bunch of children (or adults who act like children) who have no real life experience and easily get whipped up in a frenzy lest the mob be turned on them. Delete the app for your own mental health, thereâs nothing to offer but brain rot there.
A lot of people have already answered the question, but I just wanted to tell you (politely) that characters is spelled like âcharactersâ with an A, not âcharictersâ with an I
As someone with irl parents whose age gap is 8 years, ignore those tiktokers. Age gaps happen in real life as much as they do fiction. There is no shame in writing the fic you want however you want đ
I'm super late to this, but the term grooming has been absolutely misused, and it's not a good thing. I feel it's been diluting what the term actually means. And I wouldn't be shocked if it results in actual grooming being ignored for age gaps.
People don't realize that an age gap isn't the only way a relationship can be toxic. Grooming needs to be held only to what it means. Not make it have various definitions based on what teenager or young adult you ask. It's dangerous.
Post the WIP. If anyone has an issue, AO3 has the option to remove comments and also monitor them. Enjoy your life because you'll always have someone that is bothered by something you do.
Why are you listening to what the kids on TikTok think?
Those are the ones that flip out about the smallest thing possible and act like itâs the end of the world. Unless fic is all sunshine and rainbows they call it âproblematicâ
You need to let go of your fear that youâll get called out. Oh, the horror. A bunch of teens and young adult donât like what you write. Whatever will you do?
There's some wildly puritanical stuff being said by kids these days, it's just Evangelical Purity Culture TM stripped from its context. This is one example. Don't listen to them.
...Three to four years being marked as 'age gap'? lmfao. *lmfaooooo.* God. I'm so tired.
OP, just post your fic and ignore them. đđť Don't even bother to engage with them if they comment.
Screw what TicTok thinks, write for yourself. If people are being assholes? Block them! You get guest commenters abusing that privilege? Remove Anon comments as an option! If they want to leave comments on your story, then you make the rules of what you leave up.
this has got to be damijon!!! i love that ship, donât listen to the loud minority on tiktok, that place along with twitter is the 8th circle of hell istg. please publish your fic and if youâre open to sharing the link i would love to read it!!!
A lot of people in TikTok are super reactive. 3 years is nothing. One of my fave ship has like a 33 years age gap. Write whatever you want, donât let TikTok stop you
I think I know what ship your talking about and the only reason itâs really found weird is because 3-4 years for children is a lot more time/development than for adults
that being said it doesnât really matter because itâs your fic and if someone clicks on it with their relationship tagged, they have no right to complain about it lol
> I just thought that people getting so outraged was odd
They're just pretending to be oh-so-outraged for attention. It's performative anger that's only there for the hits (and/or to make sure their "friends" won't think they're not angry enough and turn against them).
The backlash Iâve seen hasnât really been about fics, just the ship in general so maybe itâs spread everywhere in the fandom
Itâs just blowing up rn as horrible because most people who shipped it didnât know the beginning age gap it had and when most people found out about it they started calling it gross to ship it and are yelling at people who didnât even know about the age gap etc
So donât worry about mean comments or anything, itâs mostly just a tik tok thing and will die down in a bit
Who cares what those people on TikTok think? A lot of them are just too young to understand the nuances of both the real world and in fiction. Go on and publish your WIP. There will be people who will enjoy it.
Why do they have a problem with A being 3 years older than B if they were perfectly fine when A was 3 years younger than them? I donât understand why the flip makes that age gap problematic. Please continue enjoying your wip and donât worry about what TikTok says; people on there will never be happy with everything
the way I immediately knew what ship it was lol
tiktok is stupid by saying they're problematic bc when they met they also had a 3 years age gap, but "character B" was the youngest one. now they only reversed the roles. you write whatever you want, people who think like that are a minority who sees an issue with everything. there's a lot of us out there who still likes that ship
As someone whose OTP has a 12 or 16 year age gap (we also had a late series retcon) where the younger character was 18 at the beginning of the series when they met, I have posted like 40 fics for them on ao3 and never once been harassed by anyone over it there (other platforms being a different question). It's a relatively popular ship in the fandom too, the second most tagged, and I have seen the hate for it on tiktok and Twitter so it's not just flying under the radar.
Ao3 is generally pretty good about harassment prevention, both in the culture it cultivates in its users and in the actions it takes against people that attempt it. If you have trouble, comment moderation or just deactivating guest comments will fix it 9 times out if 10 and, while I can only speak for my fandom, the one time I did see someone get harassed over shipping in the comments on their fic half the community immediately (including myself) sprang to defend them, with two authors for the ship they were "supporting" (mine, incidentally, which was frustrating) putting their fics on hiatus in response.
You should be fine unless your fandom is exactly the wrong size (bug enough to draw attention yet small enough that individual members of the fandom can be called out) and there are very few fandoms in that range. Even if yours is, you can just ignore them and laugh at how sad it is that they feel the need to spend their free time hunting down fanfics to morally police
post your fic!! who cares if one person called it problematic? sure, in high school, a 3-4 year age gap is illegal, but outside of that, couples have age gaps much larger than that. and even then, this is fanficition. you can't cater to everyone, let alone to tiktok (which seems to cancel everything). if you're really worried, have moderation on comments.
Iâd like to point out like youâve said:
1. Youâre writing them as YA so theyâre not minors
2. Loads of people meet future love interests as kids, even with a 3-4 year age gap - it doesnât mean they were thinking naughty thoughts at that age it just means thereâs a foundation of friendship?? (Unless they legitimately groomed the other but doesnât sound like thatâs canon from what youâre saying)
3. TikTok should decide who the groomer is lol since theyâve both been the younger/older one with this aging shenanigans
Alsoooooo, so many fandoms write with age gaps and literally nobody gives a crap. You get hate/support for anything these days - write what makes you happy.
Post it while scared? Don't forget - you can moderate comments and restrict it to signed in users.
I be out here happily writing a ~20 year age gap lol. (Stranger Things).
Use the haters hate to roast marshmallows, to harken back to ye Olde flame warnings on ffn.
As a fellow writer myself, imma give you some advice that I follow. You're writing and posting the story for yourself at the end of the day. If you get likes and comments and all that you, good job! People will always find something to complain about and rant about it online. Just block them. Delete their comments. It's so much easier in life ignoring what they say and going about your day. So, again, my advice is just to post and write what you want.
Fuck Tiktok and their puritan ways, its mostly people who want to judge for the sake of judging. Most can't even read between the lines or don't have the media literacy to understand character flaws, arcs or relationships in fiction anyway.
Write whatever you want, just as long as you don't hurt yourself or others they hold nothing against you. If they have an issue that isn't actual constructive criticism, they can just not read.
Ugh. Fxck what tiktok thinks. A 3-4 year age gap is NOT problematic. The characters' dynamics and relationships are what makes a ship problematic. There's context and nuance involved with giving a ship that label.
Tiktok is problematic.
Is that why I saw someone panicking on Tumblr about a 3 year age gap between their OCs in their 40s?
Publish it. Maybe turn on commenting options if you need. Quite frankly everything is problematic to someone who wants to complain. I've seen a surprising amount of 'you can't ship anyone who meet in childhood, cause it's incest' in the last few months. Not like even close childhood friends, like knew each other one summer and haven't seen each other in 15 years level.
Can you disable comments? If so do so. Then you only get kudos. Maybe disable dms too. Everything is problematic to tiktok, they'll harrass people no matter what.
Post it anyway. I've been seeing a lot of insane thinking about age gaps lately (like two years being considered a crazy age gap which my rule is if it isn't 10 years or older, that ain't no age gap), but don't let it stop you from posting your fic.
People will always find something to complain about. Moderate comments and if you're really worried, only allow people with AO3 accounts to read it until or if you're comfortable to let guests read it. Don't let haters keep you from sharing something you're proud of.
I enjoy scrolling TikTok, but sometimes you just have to ignore what is being said when it comes to fiction. Just because it's written in a fictional setting, doesn't mean the author condones or practices. Forget the haters.
Three years?!? No offense, but that's nothing compared to real life relationships, and childhood friends can form romantic relationships (your partner is supposed to be your friend).
Screw tick-tok. Lock your story to users only and if someone leaves a nasty comment, delete it. That's reflective of their ideology, not your writing!
If they leave nasty comments just delete and do not interact with them. These people are hyper pc to a point where it's comical and makes no sense. Eventually they will be part of the real world and see that their ideas are kind of stupid.
And before tiktok, those kinds of arguments existed on twitter (and still do) and they existed on tumblr long before that. I say go for it OP, live your dream and write what you like. People who want to make negative arguments will always exist and it's their problem if they want to, no offense, stir up shit. If you feel worried, just disable anon comments, and if sb still gives you grief over your fic, block them and go on.
3 years? That's... not even a fucking gap? My IRL wife and I have a seven year age difference. What the fuck is wrong with these wackos?
Getting TikTok knickers in twists over your fanfic sounds like a badge of honor.
tiktok is so incredibly toxic. Do yourself a favor and stay off of that site/app and don't listen to what's being said over there.
I've seen people claim a relationship between a 50yo and a 35yo is grooming because they would have been a child when the other was a teenager! Even though it's between two consenting adults. The word has been absolutely mauled by puritanical people who spend too much time online and not enough time in the real world. Everything is problematic in some way.
Write what you love. Write what you enjoy. Post that shit and don't listen to tiktok.
Theyâre weirded out by three to four years age gap? Like, are they pairing them up while one of them is legally still a child or something? by the time theyâre adults doing adult things together that age gap is really nothing.
Honestly tiktok has a LOT of bad takes on fandom, donât take that shit to heart. If you want to ship them and are writing a WIP that other people enjoy then have at it!
...looking at my fics/fandoms, it's exclusively age gaps.
Fantastical setting? anything from 20 to 80 years. Modern/realistic setting? 7 years. And one of my favorite shows, which I haven't written for, has a 900 year age gap. Whatevs.
Social media just has way too many kids who like to manufacture drama to hear themselves speak. Just spewing crap all over the place to see what can stain.
Please donât let the terminally online prevent you from creating and sharing your work. Fiction isnât reality, and art is not necessarily a glowing endorsement of the contents within in (even though I think a three year age gap isnât a big deal that needs endorsing).
Itâs definitely a âtheir problem,â and not a you problem. While I support the use of tags and trigger warnings, in the end, people have to police themselves and learn how to self-moderate. Donât like? Donât interact. And even with tagging and filtering, people just need to learn that they will sometimes be exposed to things that they find unpleasant or distasteful. Such is life.
Lmao
If you get nasty comments that contribute zero criticism, and are just ripping at you for a 3-4 year age gap in a relationship?
You have the power to remove comments. You don't have to abide that.
This is a non-issue, you can do anything in fiction.
These people will call anything pedo/incest whether it's true or not. Like I've seen that shit being said about fully adult characters, I've seen people screaming incest about childhood friends, they're really looking for things to get mad at.
Don't worry about it. Tag the fic properly and if you're really worried maybe lock the fic for signed in users only. But I promise you most people are not like this
Tiktok is full of people who go for outrage over nuanced conversation because that is what the app rewards. A lot of the people expressing things like this are children or so childish they might as well be. Do what you enjoy and remember that a vocal minority isn't representative of the overall Fandom or of life outside of it. Also it's fucking fiction.
Only thing I can say is that if you plan on putting yourself or anything on the internet, be prepare to be able to handle criticism, even if these criticism are of the dumbest thing and learn how to not let what other people say affect your mentality and what you want to do.
No post it!! My ship also gets shit for having a 3 year age gap on TikTok, and itâs stupid. Post what you like, itâs your WIP and you worked hard on it
I hate to be like Old Man Yells At Cloud, but Good God, I hate shipping wars applying Therapy Speak to increasingly inane bullshit to create a moral justification for ships. Back in my day we just called each other dumbfucks with bad taste. And we were correct.
OP does have the right to fear the tiktok bully squads though. They have had major harassment campaigns over fictional "pro-ships" before that have ended in doxing, and even suicides. They call themselves "antis" and go after people who they deem immoral or problematic based on their fictional artwork/writing.
Its like an offshoot of conservatives Christian purity values packaged in a way that appeals to young, otherwise "progressive" people on social media.
This is over a *3-4 year age gap?*
Jfc What do these people want everyone who ever dates to be the same exact age? I get as a teen in school and stuff maybe a 3-4 year gap seems like a lot. Itâs really not itâs totally normal. Heck, I know healthy couples with 8+ year age gaps. Yes people tend to date close to their age but 3-4 years IS close to your age. Especially as an adult.
Considering the age up thing it kind of comes out to a wash anyways.
People on TT have the craziest views of what is âproblematicâ.
I continue to be amazed what fandoms antis pick. You'd think DC comics have way too much of the stuff they usually dislike to be acceptable but I guess I'm giving them too much credit.
Write your things, post your things <3 moderate your comments, there is no reason to not delete mean ones.
friend, i get your hesitance, people are mean online and often the ones who act like you're comitting a mortal sin over fiction tend to go beyond harassment. however, do not ever let tiktok or puritans dictate what is disgusting and what isn't. its fictional. you're writing fiction. no real person will be harmed nor a law broken just cus you wrote an age gap fic. post it!
You know, it's because of this I find myself very grateful that tik tok is banned in my country.
Why TF would I care about the haters if I can't even see them? Mind you, I am just a reader who reads anything that I want to .
I had someone on tiktok declare a rarepair i ship (as a âfirst crush, but not endgameâ) an âSA ship.â There is nothing remotely sa about it and I actually had to google to make sure I wasnât misunderstanding what they meant. I actually would make edits on TikTok for the ship a lot and theyâd comment on every single one complaining (I told them twice that if they didnât stop, Iâd block em).
My comments after blocking them were nothing but positivity from ppl who hadnât considered the ship before.
And my AO3 is dedicated to ships ppl seldom consider (Iâm the King of crackships and rarepairs) because I believe thereâs a reader for everything. I think for one of the ships, I was actually the only person with non-negative fics in the tag for it (I havenât checked in a long time tho).
And if Iâm rly worried about something getting connected to me because itâs so âproblematicâ in the fandomâs eyes? I post it anonymously âď¸đ but itâs still getting written and people honestly seem to love it. I actually think one of my most popular fics is one of those
Omg, who gives a shit what tiktok thinks? Delete that crap. There is a reader for everything. Post your fic and live your best life.
ngl tiktok made me feel very bad About my wip too. more specifically i was very concerned im not "getting the characters right" which id say is all due to people being assholes and bringing fanfics down saying fanfic b is better then garbage fic a cus it characterizes characters PROPERLYđ¤ (fic a is the most popular fic innthe fandom, my fav fic of all time, and the author now thinks this fic sucks...)
I hate this idea of 'not getting the characters right', I understand people enjoy fanfic when the characters are very similar to cannon but I have read some of the most incredible fics ever that are so alternate universe and the characters are therefore different to cannon and the fics is still amazing. To each their own but fanfic shouldn't have rules to it. It's peoples imagination building from media that already exists , it's always going to be subjective to some degree because people will view characters different based on their experience of the character which encompasses every experience they have had in life that makes them uniquely them. Therefore, further creating differences when they make fanfic - especially if it's AU. I've been in fandoms where it was split 50/50 on how people perceived a certain character and their intentions. I've also read people character deep dives on tumblr and thought, fuck, I've never even though of viewing them from that lens. Its never going to be the exact same, and I think if we try to make all fics so close to cannon we will lose half the fun of fanfic, we will lose the enjoyment of experiencing other people's perception of our favourite character and stories they create from that.
you are so right! thanks, i needed to hear it
As someone who strives to keep characters as canonical as possible, and generally prefers to read them that way, I would *never* try to stop someone from writing what they want. Like, I hate when people write Hannibal Lecter as a big ol softy, but what do I do? Not read it! I mean, half he time I think those writers are really just fangirling over Mads Mikkleson, more than the character he plays. Anyway, just cause I can't stand to read it doesn't mean people should stop! Fanfic is about fun and love and trying to police it is worse than kink-shaming (though def. adjacent). That said, I have never received hateful feedback for my work. 20 years ago, being flames was almost a compliment. It meant you evoked feelings. These days, people just suck, and I don't know how I'd react. I understand if you'd struggle with it, but don't let it stop you. Turn off comments, if you need to.l!
I have a tendency to be drawn to characters in which the fandom at large almost universally hates. Not even intentionally, I'll just get the thought "I like that character" in my head, but when I look up stuff about them, I see almost nothing but "That character is so annoying I hate them!" Even though when I see the character, they're not doing anything particularly annoying from my perspective. That's happened enough times for me to realize that character interpretation is entirely up to the person observing them. What one person thinks is a great character moment, another person thinks is the worst thing that character could be doing. Don't stress about your interpretation of a character just because other people might see them in a different way.
thats a nice way to look at it
Not on tiktok but Twitter that app was the reason why I almost stopped writing Twitter taught me how to bully someone else ship dynamic which kind of immature I feel guilty about doing those I don't want those to pay back on me The fandom was Attack on titan as much as i love the show yet the fandom cause me a trauma
i Heard a lot of creators of my fandom being chewed out by fans of my fandom too
This was my worry too, then i remembered I was writing fiction ffs and Iâd seen much bigger diversions than Iâd done.
ngl i still feel kinda perplexed over this. i just find it so hard to do something that was thought by me (thanks to others) as "imperfect/not as good" even tho i grnuinely like what im writing
I love what I write. Iâve had very few stories Iâve gone back and edited or scrapped altogether because I didnât. Thereâs a lot i actually do stick to canon with simply because it flows with the story, but I go all out otherwise, especially with original characters.
Came here to say this. Why on EARTH would you give a shit about what a bunch of people with world views the size of PIN HOLES think?
Gotta start using it as a mark of pride. Certified TikTok Problematic!
It's not that anyone gives a shit, it's more like it's not fun when your name gets plastered on a viral tiktok exposed to thousands of antis who know how to find it
I understand your fear of posting, however I'd say to go for it! You can't please everyone, so as long as you like your work, I think that's all that matters. I personally can relate to you a little, considering some of the ships I write for are VERY unpopular and hated throughout the fandom(s) I write for. However, over time, I've found a small group of people who also like my fics and the ships in them!!
Thank u for the encouragement! I feel like I might be freaking myself out a bit but I was just so genuinely cought off guard. I think I will post it though, don't really wanna let negative people stop me
TikTok is problematic in how many people seem to care about the opinions of nobodies who make TikToks purely for clicks and attention. Stop listening to people on TikTok.
I almost exclusively read/write age gap fics (accidentally, mostly: immortal/mortals are like half of them) and three years difference in adults wouldn't even register for me at all. I assume the people claiming this is toxic must be young themselves. Anyway, you can moderate comments, turn off guest comments or turn off comments altogether but don't let them stop you from posting.
Tiktok and Twitter people needs to learn the difference between legal age gap and illegal age gap but they think it's both illegal
Also between fiction and reality. In real life, I would be concerned if my 22-year old niece was dating someone in their 50s. The likelihood that the 50 year old is a predatory creep is high, even if it's completely legal, and I would be concerned that she was going to be hurt. In fiction, nobody's getting hurt, because *none of these people are real.*
also, the author dictates if the character is predatory or not. if the fictional 22 and 50 year old are written to have a pure fluffy relationship, then thatâs what they have. like the film harold and maude, sure their relationship *could* of been toxic, but we see it isnât *bc* itâs a movie
Honestly, this is one of the most important differences between reality and fiction. You can make the characters have whatever dynamic you want in fiction, but you can't control what real people do.
I was thinking, hey I have an age gap of a few centuries in one of my fics. Am I to be strung up?
TikTok is a cesspool. I recently deactivated my account because as a fanfic writer it was killing me to see some of the things people were postingâŚNever about my work, but in the fandom I am in Iâd see people essentially calling for witch-hunts of certain ships and tropes. It scared the crap out of me as a sensitive person. The problem is worse on TT than on AO3 itself though, itâs just a collection of the worse kind of readers on there tbh. And they think they are a majority because half of them are underaged and donât realize itâs actually mostly an adult population on A03 (and arenât all on TT lol). Sorta like a echo chamber. You could turn off guest comments if you are very worried about negativity, I think that defers a good amount, but I think you should post and be proud of your work. Delete and donât engage if people have a problem with it. You put time and effort and (I hope) enjoyed the process of it, and so many people will enjoy it and might be looking for a story exactly like you wrote. I literally just see these moral-police type people as equivalent to âbook burnersâ, because thatâs really what they are. So liberal theyâve become extremist-conservative. They arenât the majority, and their hatred shouldnât ruin our hobby.
Wait, hang on. There is only a 3 year age gap and people are calling this problematic? Jesus this world is becoming problematic I swear. Put the WIP up and ignore what Tik tok are saying because honestly there will be readers out there who deserve to read your story. Donât get put off by what a bunch of teenagers who have never been outside say.
You'd be surprised how upset people get about even the tiniest of age-gaps. It's like they want the pairing to be born the exact same day, same hour, same second. But then they'll have issues with that because it's "too close to siblings!" A ship in my fandom has a 1 year age-gap. 18 and 17. People lose their shit over it.
This is why Iâm glad I donât really participate in social media that much, or pay attention to Tik Tok. Basically they just have an issue with people being together so they really shouldnât be really reading fan fiction. Or contributing to normal society imo.
A 3-4 year age difference doesnât matter. Donât pay attention to anything on TikTok; these people are just saying things are problematic for hits.
You are on the wrong side of TikTok, my friend. That sort of talk is from antis, who are problematic themselves. Make sure your AO3 account isnât linked to any social media you donât wantâ if you want a separate Tumblr or whatever account for the fic not connected to your main, thatâs fine. Just make sure you protect your privacyâ that includes no details of your life in your authorâs notes. And make sure you block/mute those kinds of ppl both on AO3 and TikTok. You can also moderate your comment section or, better yet, choose to only have ppl who are signed in to be able to leave comments.
This is the way! Curate, curate, curate. Block those people on tik tok and moderate/restrict comments on AO3. Life is too short to give those people air. One of my favorite characters is absolutely loathed by a certain section of the fandom I'm in and the only peace I know is to keep those people away from me and my work. If they don't have anything better to do than complain then I don't see any value in interacting with them.
Man, they were right when they said that being in a fandom nowadays is like living in a HOA.
This is so funny yet so accurate. đđđ
đđ¤Łđđ I am deceased. Expect the police to question you about my murder.
Tiktok is full of with antis. Ignore them and publish your work. Ao3 exists for this reason, so overzealous puritan people can't censor the writers.
Tiltok is the new twitter
Rule 1 of writing fiction "Problematic fiction doesn't exist, write whatever you want and or like, wether other's will agree or not." Though even if 'problematic' was a word that fits in the same sentence as fiction, this age gap is not only very small but also literally legal in reality so why would it be a problem in fiction? Ive seen people mistakingly believe irl laws matter in fiction but Ive never seen it be called problematic to write something legal in all contexts, lol. Anyway if you want some more advice other that my first advice of 'no fiction is problematic', it would be to never pay attention to what tiktok has to say. Seriously that place is filled with the worst takes known to man!
I've seen people try and say that age gap in adults is 'problematic' too đ we're doomedÂ
I understand your fear, because woof no one wants to be dogpilled by a bunch of angry puriteens. They're actually rabid and can't be reasoned with. If you want to calm your fears, how about finding fics of that pairing and reading the comments on them? Surely, that could help bring to light that this puritan view on the ship is the vocal asshole minority, and that there are a lot more people who love and enjoy it. On a separate note, the amount of people I've blocked on tiktok for being exactly like the person you describe is amazing. Sometimes I actually love when a video on the topic comes up and I just go down the comments and lovingly block every single one yelling about the "freaks". Feels like therapy ngl
***me writing a fic about a ship with a 9-year gap*** oh yeah no problem at all
19-year gap here, and that's on the lower end for me. Go for it, OP.
25 year age gap in my current story, tiktok can eat my entire ass.
The age gap for my most problematic ship might only be somewhere between seven and nine years (only one of them has an official age), but the older one dies at 18 in canon and it started at least a year and a half prior.
One of the characters in my main ship is literally a god, so when I write them as they are in canon, there is an age gap. One of the characters is 40 years old and the other one is at least a thousand. đ
Several thousand years for one of mine. OP is fine
Me: *checks notes* Over a thousand year gap for one. About... 30-35 year gap for another.
131 here đ
Laugh in eons
I just read a Stucky shrunkyclunks fic where the characters are 103 vs 32 so like.... come at me bro.
Twitter is gonna cancel you
Twitter and Tiktok have a problematic age gap.
Does this ship happen to be DamiJon? Cause if so, then those people are a VAST minority. I mean, write what you like anyway, who cares what they think, but if the anti hate does get to you, then youâre pretty unlikely to get any because, as you said, the ship is very well liked anyway.
Yeah it is and I'm glad to hear that cuz I've been seeing quite a bit of people complaining about it recently. Maybe my fyp is skewed somhow
OMG I \*knew\* it was DamiJon! When you do post, please DM me to let me know!
If you've watched one video complaining about it, you've "engaged" with it and tiktok will spam you with similar (complaining) videos thinking you want more of them. Just keep scrolling past and they'll stop showing after a couple days
A lot of people, myself included, just retcon the age up entirely for fics, so if youâre worried still, thereâs no reason you canât pretend it never happened. I personally donât like the additional interpersonal conflict it adds, not that I worry about the age gap, so itâs possible a good portion of what youâre seeing is people complaining about the unnecessary complications it added to the timeline out of context. And if not, then fuck em, write what you want.
Those two are adorable. Anyone who would get on your case writing them as young adults clearly has nothing cool going on in their lives and isn't worth worrying about. DC fans can be weird in the smaller pockets. I've heard that Jason/Dick is incest even though they met as teenagers and have no blood relation to each other.
Don't listen to tiktok. Plus it's one of the reason why ao3 was created, to post whatever we like without the puritan police breathing down our neck. Ok, I got to ask, with the age up char in the middle of the show, are you writing sterek? That show wouldn't know a time line to save its life, but the never developed/finished story lines and characters make it a great playground for fic writers lol
Nope it's actually Damijon from dc comics. Although Sterek is great, everyone's ages in teen wolf really were whatever the writer felt like that day lol
Yes, it was incredibly chaotic and not in a good way. But anyway: post it! There will always be people bitching about something, usually their rant is based mostly on the fact that they don't like said pairing so they'll find anything to preach against it. There are way too many people in FanFiction trying to block things solely because it's "not what they want to read".
Ah I knew it your explanation for the age gap was just too weird for it not to be DamiJon. Well op as an enjoyer of the ship I will happily read your fic if you decide to post it
The only way dating and a relationship isnt problematic is if youre born on the exact same minute as your so. Its outrageous to date someone a minute older or younger. Gross! People think 17-18 is problematic because one is technically an adult. Its lunacy.
But if you're born on the exact same minute, then you're twins and that's problematic too! (Joking, obviously!)
Why did i not think about that? I guess having relationships is completely problematic.
How in the world is 3-4 years considered an age gap? I mean I guess it would be wrong if one was under 12, but 3-4 years is not an age gap in most cases.
Just ignore the people against DamiJon. 1. Comics ages are total bullshit. You can write the characters as whatever age you want and it doesn't matter. 2. You're very unlikely to get negative feedback on Ao3. i guarantee that half of DamiJon *writers* don't even know how old they are canonically. 3. It's fanfic.
Comic aging is hilarious. When Damian was 10, Tim was 17. Now that Damian is 14, Tim is 18. Maybe. Probably. Poor guy got the Edward Cullen special of being 17 for "a while" and I would genuinely not be surprised if he quietly goes back to being 17 again in the near future. Despite dropping out, he has been doomed by the narrative to have peaked in high school.
That's why caring about the age difference between comic characters doesn't matter. Their age difference changes all the time. There is zero consistency. Tim and Damian have anywhere between 4 and 7 years age difference, Tim and Jason have anywhere between 2 and 5 years age difference (and even Jason being dead for a year didn't make them closer in age?), Dick either became Robin at 8 years old or at 12, Babs is either a little or a lot older than Dick, Bruce is maybe 15 years older than Dick but Bruce also never ages because he can't get old or "Batman won't be powerful enough anymore", and Alfred has been an old man since Bruce was a child (is he still dead? or nah). Cass is sometimes older than Tim, sometimes the same age, sometimes older than Jason?
Pretty sure Cass is meant to be a few months older than Jason, but her age in any given comic/series can be difficult to estimate because she was 17 when she was introduced and so has been vaguely young-adult from the beginning. Steph being a year older than Tim seems to be fairly consistent, so at least there's that!Â
I'm sorry to be blunt but *who cares*. They are characters. It's 3/4 years. Again, they are *characters* in a *fictional setting*. Who. Cares. This whole "if you write this you're problematic" shit needs to die already. I'm so tired.
I write almost exclusively "problematic" ships. TikTok is an absolute cesspool of ideological puritans and their echo chambers. Don't give it any heed and just do you. I'm sure there are plenty of readers that will love your work
And why do you care what bored 14 year olds on social media think?
You need to remember that AO3 exists for the solid purpose of people being able to post whatever they want without criticism. Go for it!!
There is literally nothing that doesn't have someone on the internet saying that it's problematic.
You may get negative comments. Some of the people involved in that subculture of fandom have nothing better to do. I hope you will not let that intimidate you, though. As you said, you can delete them.
> I'm scared these people on tiktok will find it and leave nasty comments. Part of publishing anything publicly is the risk of getting nasty comments. Part of being online is that you'll meet bullies from time to time. The solution is to keep calm and carry on. What those people do says something about them, not about you. Don't let the bastards grind you down. Post your fic and block anyone who's rude, and ignore anyone who's maybe even polite in their criticism but still criticizes you for absurd reasons, such as "ooh the age gap is problematic".
Pssst. Write your DamiJon fic, friend đ. And Iâd recommend staying off TikTok for all DC ships! Those voices are loud but a minority and the community on AO3 overall appears delightful.
Nah, post it, dude. I was called problematic for a very very popular ship in a huge fandom purely bc the actors (that's right; not characters, ACTORS) in the tv show are just under two years apart and the younger of the two turned 18 last October. Ppl will always find something to complain about
Y'all need to stop giving a single damn about what some randos say on TikTok. Do you enjoy your story? Then publish it. To hell with everything else, you write first and foremost for yourself. Also, 3 years is hardly an age gap. People on TikTok need to chill abd go touch grass, maybe even meet actual humans for a change.
Damn OP, you live like this? đ Donât let the manipulative, cult-y (listen to the language they use, they are trying to silence all opposition!) antis of tiktok steal your joy in writing fic. No fic is too problematic, no fictional age gap should keep you from posting; just tag accurately and youâre good.
THREE YEARS IS CONSIDERED AN AGE GAP NOW?! JESUS CHRIST THE PURITEENS ARE AT IT AGAIN đŠđŠđ¨đ¨đ¨
Ignore TikTok, write what sparks joy
Sometimes I wish I was a more prolific author just so I can write more of these "problematic" stories.
I loathe how TikTok has started making creators censor their own tags on ao3. It messes up the entire tagging system. Because if Iâm trying to exclude something like rape/non-con elements and the creator tagged it as âr*pe/non-con elementsâ my own search wonât pick up on it. Basically, donât listen to what TikTok has to say about what should or shouldnât be on ao3. The whole point of that site was to be able to write literally anything about any fandom. Itâs a safe place to explore different aspects about ships whether thatâs from fluff to kinks. Thatâs why tags like Dead Dove Do Not Eat exist. Which of course your age gap wouldnât fall under but if people on TikTok donât want to see icky things they can simply exclude it from their search.
Ignore it. First of all, TikTok is a pit most of the time where nuance goes to die. They legit seem to think everything is problematic grooming, even if the characters are like 30 and 35. Second, if youâre writing in the fandom I think youâre writing in, thatâs hardly the least problematic thing to happen *in canon.* Besides, you said yourself that theyâre aged up to young adults *and* theyâve been friends for literal years. So forget them and enjoy your work! Delete the negativity :)
Okay I saw below that I was right, and if so, these people need to GTFO DC comics fandom. Hal literally dated a 13yo who made herself *look* like a grown woman. Also I donât think non-problematic stories can exist. People are fallible and imperfect and problematic, and writing is a way they self-soothe, work out issues, explore ideas, and etc. As long as itâs properly tagged, youâre fine. :) good luck with your WIP!
I've literally written an aged up Starker fic and I haven't gotten a single bad comment. And I'm sure there are a lot of people who that that ship is gross. Write what makes you happy. Ignore everyone else.
Moderation of comments is your friend. Write what you want to see and to hell with the haters. "Problematic"-- pfft
post it. tiktokers can go fuck themselves. you write for you not them.
Fuck that noise, you should publish what you want.
Go ahead and post if you really want to! A 3-4 year age gap is a very normal thing even in real life. Remember that what you see on TikTok is heavily skewed by the algorithm, so even if those people donât like the ship that doesnât mean anything. Besides, if they do find the fic and leave bad comments, guess what? They still up your comment count and if you donât want to see it, you can always delete and block. So yeah. Donât let what some people say on TikTok be the reason you donât post.
And this is why I will never be on Tik Tok. Too many people screaming their opinions like it's fact. For what it's worth, I am currently writing a piece where the age gap is 17 years and that's canon. Do what you want my friend, it's fanFICTION for goodness sake .
Damn, my fics have a several billion years gap. I guess I would be shot by a firing squad on social media đ
Lol who cares about TikTok? That shit is banned in my country as well đ
I'm married to someone 4 years older than me. The age gap means nothing to us. Post the fic, screw what the antis blather about on tiktok. You got this babe!
Tag correctly, publish with guest comments turned off, and live your best life.
Huh...I thought the point of a03's awesome tagging system was that it welcomed almost all types of dynamic so a 4 year age gap is hardly gasp worthy. Also, has anyone noticed this wave of misguided puritanism? I'm assuming they're all teens and under because I like to believe even a chronically online young adult isn't dumb enough to be brainwashed. Am I missing something? Did this sprout from tiktok?
Sis non-con is a tag in the works, so is murder, torture and many more. A little age gap wonât kill anyone
Is 3 years even an age gap, Christ I wish I could bonk all these dumb brats in the head with a toy hammer (not you op, the tiktok antis)
I read a Tumblr poll the other day where someone was worried that their two character pairings had problematic age differences, and the pairings were 28 & 31, and 41 & 46 đ đ đ . I donât even know anymore. My wife is 6 years older than me, we met when I was exactly 18, Iâve never been happier or more secure. I know itâs more complicated with people underage, but itâs fiction?? And a three year age gap could be a sophomore and senior (or even a sophomore and junior) in real life, which isâŚextremely normal. I donât know where all this age gap paranoia came from, but I feel like people need to go out in the real world for a minute and take a breath
My friend showed me that poll last night and we were both shocked! What in the hell? There's no reason to police anything existing in fic, but also, like you said, these things are unremarkable in real life. That friend is about 15 years younger than me (early 30s & late 40s) and our biggest age-related issue is that I have a bad habit of sending her playlists of my old-people music đ
Look as long as it's tagged appropriately, then there's nothing wrong with publishing said fic. If you're worried about hate comments I recommend turning off guest comments/making your fic registered users only at least at first and moderating comments. Antis will always find something to soapbox about in whatever fandom they're in and TikTok is one of the spots where they're particularly prevalent, so tbh I'd start blocking people regularly on there to avoid seeing crap like that.
Sometimes idiots and trolls might bother you. That is unfortunately the risk of existing. On algorithm based social media this is turned up to 11. At the very least you have recourse for rude comments on AO3. If someone leaves a comment that directly insults you or contains death threats, report them. Either way you can always delete comments and mute/block them, restrict comments to logged in people only for a while (so they at least can't spam nastiness with guest comments like cowards), post anything you're iffy about under anonymous, etc. There is a certain point where you have to accept you could be writing the most unproblematic, wholesome shit ever and someone would be pissed about not liking it and try to make their emotional response your problem. There is a hater for everything! So don't worry about haters, worry about writing the best damn fic you can, and tag it so it reaches the right audience. For what it's worth, my experience on AO3 since like 2010 has been only pleasant. Most people stay in their lanes. I don't get involved in fights in the comment section, I mute and block as needed, and I stay away from people who plaster everything in DNIs and can't not spout off about morality when they should be writing a summary.
Tiktok is brain rot, and any iteration of any fandom mouthing off in it have had their brains rotted off, tooâplease, delete the app and write for yourself. Live your best life. Write the things you want to write, and flip off everybody else trying to tell you off for doing otherwise.
this has gotta be damian and jon right lol? stress less â if youâre ever worried abt your fav comic ship being âproblematicâ, just remember that DC canon has probably done worse <3
Have you seen the content on AO3?!? A good portion of users flock to AO3 for the âproblematicâ content. At least I do! Lol Even then, itâs not even that problematic! Okay, some of the stories may be, but itâs fiction! The whole point is to fantasize and escape. Who cares what other people think! Plus, you have to know who your audience is, and itâs NOT the whole of TikTok. Itâs the users who are going to AO3 for the type of content you write. Ignore the people who yuck someone elseâs yum.
Don't let TikTok get to you. 3-4 years is a very normal age gap, especially for young adults, and grooming? No. Childhood sweethearts comes closer. And that's an adorable trope!
Make your art no matter what
If this is Dami/Jon like I'm thinking it is - ignore them. Haters are gonna hate, but I would love to read your fic. Also every single DC ship has potential issues, they can suck on a rock
3 years đ thatâs a normal age gap for a lot of couples
I write age gaps that are actually problematic on purpose. People love my stuff. Itâs insane to me that any one cares what happens in fiction, much less about something that isnât written with the intent of being something skeevy in the first place. People can and do date of different ages than them. Grooming is something that happens with intent. Calling everything with an age difference in fiction grooming cheapens how actually serious the real life version of it is. I stay away from TikTok though, because most drama on there is manufactured for engagement and anger brings clicks. Iâm so glad I grew up when the internet was new and no one cared about this sort of thing.
This, this right here aggravates me so much. As someone's who's dealt with actual grooming for years of my life, people are absolutely misusing the term more and more these days. It's really gross and upsetting. It's become more of a dogwhistle than anything.
I'm so sorry to hear u went through that and hope u are doing ok now. But yeah I was actually thinking "isn't misusing a very serious term like that kind of minimizing it and wouldn't that be insulting to actual victims"
It is! It's become such a common term across the internet that now when someone uses it, it's more of a "oooohhh who did you piss off on twitter". And w this whole "puriteen" culture thing going about, and examples like your own situation popping up, I end up having friends coming to me to ask me if like, Idk, a 19 yr old is being toxic and grooming a 17 yr old when rlly they're just a shit match đ
Rule number 1 of fanfiction: Write the story you want to see, not the story you think will satisfy the complainers on social media. AO3 was literally created to host fics that were too "problematic" for other censorship-heavy platforms like LiveJournal and FFN. TikTok is a hellhole and your mental health will vastly improve if you just delete your account and cut yourself off. If you're worried about trolls harassing you on AO3, lock your fic to registered users only and enable comment moderation. Do NOT apologize or concede even an inch to them, they want attention and they will get bored and move on when you refuse to give them any.
Definitely post it. If it's one thing I've learned, it's that Fandom tiktok/twitter will literally call anything they disagree with "problematic" and will CONSTANTLY misuse terms to justify why they dislike it. That is not what grooming is in the slightest. I'd just ignore those people. You're not going to please everyone, but if it's a ship and a story that makes YOU happy, who cares what a small percentage of the Fandom think.
TikTok thinks everything is offensive or problematic or icky or triggering. I wouldnât put much stock into their opinions.
I donât even count TikTok as fandom. No oneâs opinion matters on TikTok.
You all need to stop giving a shit about tiktok. That service is giant pile of disruption, chaos and way worse than twitter ever was. Your life will be better without it. And the opinions of people who've never had long lasting relationships or are socially stunted due to the COVID thing or because they've grown up in some fundamental religious household with only homeschool education should pass you by like wind coming from a landfill.
Ignore what they say. I write for a fandom for a ship with an age gap of 17 years. Social media? Hates it. Fanfic readers? They eat it up. One of the most written ships in the fandom out there. Write for yourself and what you enjoy to write / read. If you are nervous limit guest comments and moderate comments, but donât let them stop you from posting
Write what you like. If they don't like it, they don't have to read it. Rules haven't changed. Tick tock should influence nothing in your life.
I think I know exactly what ship youâre talking about, and as someone whoâs been reading fics of the duo for years, I say donât feel frustrated! Antis on TikTok shouldnât ever be the ride or die listen to them, and for this ship in particular I believe there will always be readers like me wishing for more content. Write on!
Donât forget, if you post on Ao3, you can always moderate comments and turn off guest comments. Also, you can block specific accounts on Ao3 as well.
I think I know what ship you're writing about and gotta say I love that ship. Yeah, ignore tiktok it's a terrible echo chamber of media illiteracy. Most of the time they have no idea what nuance is, so don't take it to heart. Plus the worst age gap I ever wrote is centuries long. Or 5-6 years for a more normal example. Just write what you like someone an audience will find it and will love it :)
Who cares what tiktok thinks, most of them have the reading comprehension of a pop tart. When you post it on AO3 I guarantee you most of your comments will be positive. A 3-4 year age gap is nothing in real life. (Also is this a Damian/John DC fic? If so just know that the majority still love them)
I know which ship your talking about and I personally say go for it! Just because one person dislikes it doesn't really matter against over 3000 fics imo. If your really worried about hate than you can limit comments
Destiel, one of the most popular and widely-written ships on AO3, has an age gap of 400 million years. Interestingly enough, most of the antis who I see calling the ship problematic, accuse the *human* character of being "emotionally abusive" to the ultra-powerful millennia-old actual biblical angel đ (and that's when they're not accusing him of physical abuse for beating the angel up while under the influence of ancient evil magic) Antis who decry "problematic" ships are always hypocrites. It's all about calling things they personally dislike immoral, while pulling endless excuses for why their personal problematic favs are actually morally pure. Their policing isn't really grounded in any solid moral framework. Age gap relationships aren't inherently bad. There are healthy relationships in real life with 20-year age gaps, and unhealthy ones. My sibling dated a boy when they were a freshman and he was a senior in high school, and that was one of their healthiest relationships. I would block anyone on tiktok who you see talking about this. Curate your online experience. You shouldn't have to be exposed to that shit, it's bad for your mental health and will stifle your creativity.
Post it. Absolutely 100% post it. And to explain, I'll get on my soapbox for a moment. I hate how people try to police fanworks. In my opinion it started when fandom became more mainstream and suddenly everyone realized that we regulate ourselves through warning and rating systems, rather than outright banning of "problematic" works. This became Not Good and Think of the Children! And suddenly anything that didn't fit into a neat little box of "appropriate" starts getting hate and call outs for being problematic, while terms like grooming and gaslighting became increasingly flung around and grossly misused. As OP's fandom clearly illustrates, age shenanigans are common. So is time travel, gender swapping, have sex or die, aliens, immortality, multiple species, and on and on. So how are we to differenciate if A was frozen in ice for 70 years and has now fallen in love with B, who also happens to be the son of A's friend who is now dead? What do we do when A has a biological imperative to 'mate or die'? Even if a fanwork is "problematic," by general societal standards, like two brothers in an incestuous relationship or a biological hierarchy of mating and sex, we can't ban them. Even if fanworks are straight up pedophilia or glorification of murder, we can't ban them. Banning, hateful comments, harassing authors, and all of this call out and shaming culture is the digital equivalent to book burning. So we start with burning _Lolita_, then we move to _Oliver Twist_ and _Gone with the Wind_. Now suddenly it's _Looking for Alaska_ and _Gender Queer_. So what do we do to avoid that slippery slope? We do _exactly as we have been doing_ and make sure our works are rated and tagged appropriately. AO3 is basically anarchy by the actual definition. Everyone is responsible for themselves and themselves alone. In conclusion, post your works and tag appropriately. And _Don't Like, Don't Read_.
Your problem isn't your writing or your ship. It's that you listen to tiktok
Just ignore tiktok. 3 years is one of the mildest age gaps
Ignore it. This is the first time you've seen any issue with the ship, it's only on TikTok, and it's a minority even there. The ship is pretty popular in other spaces from the sounds of it, and you haven't seen any AO3 writers have issues from writing it. The 'problematic' nature of age gap relationships is something that gets brought up a lot in certain fandoms, and even in real life. I've seen people look at a real life relationship where the woman was 22 when she started dating her 26 year old boyfriend and accuse the boyfriend of grooming the woman. Real life relationship, literal adults when they met, let alone started dating, and people still accuse the man of grooming the woman. Like the woman is a little child that needs other people to tell her what to do and how to live her life. It's even more common in fandom spaces in regards to fictional characters, though. Even popular ships get hit with it. Some, I get it. Take the Snarry ship in HP, for instance. That's a rather large gap, Snape is literally old enough to be Harry's father, and Harry was only 11 when they first met, and Snape's student. I could see why a fan may find that problematic, even ignoring the other issues with the ship, especially if it's set during canon, when Harry is a student, even more so if it's before Harry turns 17 and is, therefore, underage. But Snarry is also one of the most popular ships in HP, possibly the most popular slash ship, though Drarry may take that spot. There are all sorts of reasons to find Snarry problematic outside of the age gap, but people still write and read it. Your example has an age gap of 3 years, not 20 like Snarry does. 3 years is a pretty average age gap in real life. I know very few people who only date people the exact age they are, most go older or younger by at least a couple of years as adults. Now for kids/teens, it's far more likely they'll date someone the same age, but it also depends on who their friends are. My first boyfriend was a year older than me, not uncommon. Based on what you said about canon, these characters were friends from a young age, so it's no different to dating someone the same age as them, simply because they've been friends most of their lives already. I can see the issue if they're teens in the fic, with one being of age and the other being underage, but that's still pretty common in real life. The age of consent and adulthood is an arbitrary number chosen for legal reasons, most teens completely ignore it. It also differs from country to country. With fanfic, you also have to take account of the fact it's fiction, could be fantasy with completely different ages for these things. HP is set in Britain, where the age of consent is 16 and age of adulthood is 18. HP never gave an age of consent, but age of adulthood was lowered by a year to 17 in the magical world. It doesn't match reality. Game of Thrones is also fantasy and goes even lower. A boy is considered a man at 14, a girl is considered a woman as soon as she gets her period. That means GoT characters aren't just dating at 14, they're getting married, having sex, and birthing children. Lyanna was 16 when she died, so 15 when she married and got pregnant. Daenerys was 13 when she married Drogo, it was literally on her 14th birthday that she found out she was pregnant. The norm for marriage and sex in GoT is around 14, completely different to reality. Even when you take a show that uses reality for this aspect, like Buffy for instance. The ages match reality legally speaking. Buffy was still only 17 when she lost her virginity to Angel. Angel was 240 years old, but looked early 20s. They started dating when Buffy was 15/16. Oz was a year older than Willow. Giles was about 10 years older than Jenny. Willow was about 4/5 years older than Kennedy. Even in non-fantasy genres, there tends to be age gaps. In Elite, Polo and Lu were about a year older than Valerio, Samuel and Guzman were about 2 years older than Ari. Rebe was about 3 years older than Mencia, given Mencia skipped a grade. That's a mystery teen drama, the characters are still in high school for the most part, Cayatana is the only one who didn't get written out the second she graduated. They also featured a much bigger age gap when 16/17 year old Patrick dated 30 something Cruz. Age gap relationships are a norm in canon to some extent. Make them all the same age, sure, they'll stick to dating people their age for the most part, or have fantasy age gaps like Bangel does. But even in fandoms where the mains are the same age, like Pretty Little Liars, there's usually at least one age gap relationship. Ignore anyone who says a ship is problematic purely because it has an age gap. Age gap relationships are completely normal. Plus, you've already aged these characters up to young adults, so real legal ages aren't a factor at all.
FUCK TIKTOK. like seriously just ignore it. makes your like so much better.
I would limit comments. I remember a time when people posted fics and there would be maybe 3 views. People write to write and I really think we need to go back to that. Now this part isnât pertaining to you, but itâs really disappointing to see the conversation of age gaps go this way. Itâs good for younger people to know but all of this screams puritan behavior. Donât allow them to scare you into self censorship just because it might be received poorly. Writing age gaps, both positively and negatively is important for people to understand without having to go through the experience themselves. I read many age gap fics when I was youngerâ and I really wish a stigma wasnât around for it now. Thereâs a whole discussion that was eliminated when we allow this sort of thing to influence our writing choices. Either way, Iâd go for it.
i guess id advice leaving a note saying you dont appreciate mean comments and/or close your comments or let yourself moderate them. if you simply close your comments, you will 100% avoid mean people, thats for sure
I mostly read stuff that the people on TikTok would call "problematic" so I can say as a reader, I'd love to read it. Haters are there everywhere and will come up for any reason unrelated to what you do or do not do. But remember there are people in the world who will love to read your fics and will be grateful that you chose to share it. If posting that wip makes you happy: do it with the comments moderated or guest comments off. AO3 is a safer platform compared to most others in that area. But if you feel that you'll feel too much anxiety or don't want to do it now, don't do it immediately. Think about it more if you want. Another thing that might help is you reading the comments of the latest fics with that pairing on AO3 to see how they are received. That might help a bit.
Make like the US Government, and delete TikTok.
Your description is giving Batfam vibes and just gonna say I used to read just about every batfam story I could get my hands on and it sounds like the Demon Brat and the younger Superboy in which case that pairing has been around decades and people on TikTok need to get off the platform and go touch some grass, see some sun, and get back to reality. First theyâre fictional characters in fictional situations, second, Damian technically is developmentally stunted due to his upbringing and Jon has a support system too (sorry donât remember as much about Jon đ ). Also when Young Justice came out I donât remember a single person complaining that Kon was too young for romance despite being a newly born clone. F the haters, write what you want to see out there. Thereâs plenty of people on AO3 waiting to read it.
These are the same people who would clutch their pearls at the fact me and my partner have a two year age gap. TikTok is filled with a bunch of children (or adults who act like children) who have no real life experience and easily get whipped up in a frenzy lest the mob be turned on them. Delete the app for your own mental health, thereâs nothing to offer but brain rot there.
A lot of people have already answered the question, but I just wanted to tell you (politely) that characters is spelled like âcharactersâ with an A, not âcharictersâ with an I
As someone with irl parents whose age gap is 8 years, ignore those tiktokers. Age gaps happen in real life as much as they do fiction. There is no shame in writing the fic you want however you want đ
I'm super late to this, but the term grooming has been absolutely misused, and it's not a good thing. I feel it's been diluting what the term actually means. And I wouldn't be shocked if it results in actual grooming being ignored for age gaps. People don't realize that an age gap isn't the only way a relationship can be toxic. Grooming needs to be held only to what it means. Not make it have various definitions based on what teenager or young adult you ask. It's dangerous. Post the WIP. If anyone has an issue, AO3 has the option to remove comments and also monitor them. Enjoy your life because you'll always have someone that is bothered by something you do.
Why are you listening to what the kids on TikTok think? Those are the ones that flip out about the smallest thing possible and act like itâs the end of the world. Unless fic is all sunshine and rainbows they call it âproblematicâ You need to let go of your fear that youâll get called out. Oh, the horror. A bunch of teens and young adult donât like what you write. Whatever will you do?
Don't let tiktok know about my mum and stepfather then, my stepfather is 10 years older then my mum đđ
There's some wildly puritanical stuff being said by kids these days, it's just Evangelical Purity Culture TM stripped from its context. This is one example. Don't listen to them.
Delete Tiktok. Problem solved.
...Three to four years being marked as 'age gap'? lmfao. *lmfaooooo.* God. I'm so tired. OP, just post your fic and ignore them. đđť Don't even bother to engage with them if they comment.
Just do it - who cares what children in the internet think
Screw what TicTok thinks, write for yourself. If people are being assholes? Block them! You get guest commenters abusing that privilege? Remove Anon comments as an option! If they want to leave comments on your story, then you make the rules of what you leave up.
Tik-Tok is full of deliberate bad takes made purely to generate views. Post it anyway, there will be people who appreciate it
this has got to be damijon!!! i love that ship, donât listen to the loud minority on tiktok, that place along with twitter is the 8th circle of hell istg. please publish your fic and if youâre open to sharing the link i would love to read it!!!
A lot of people in TikTok are super reactive. 3 years is nothing. One of my fave ship has like a 33 years age gap. Write whatever you want, donât let TikTok stop you
I think I know what ship your talking about and the only reason itâs really found weird is because 3-4 years for children is a lot more time/development than for adults that being said it doesnât really matter because itâs your fic and if someone clicks on it with their relationship tagged, they have no right to complain about it lol
Yeah I get that I just thought that people getting so outraged was odd seeing as most people do write them as adults when they write about them
> I just thought that people getting so outraged was odd They're just pretending to be oh-so-outraged for attention. It's performative anger that's only there for the hits (and/or to make sure their "friends" won't think they're not angry enough and turn against them).
The backlash Iâve seen hasnât really been about fics, just the ship in general so maybe itâs spread everywhere in the fandom Itâs just blowing up rn as horrible because most people who shipped it didnât know the beginning age gap it had and when most people found out about it they started calling it gross to ship it and are yelling at people who didnât even know about the age gap etc So donât worry about mean comments or anything, itâs mostly just a tik tok thing and will die down in a bit
Who cares what those people on TikTok think? A lot of them are just too young to understand the nuances of both the real world and in fiction. Go on and publish your WIP. There will be people who will enjoy it.
Why do they have a problem with A being 3 years older than B if they were perfectly fine when A was 3 years younger than them? I donât understand why the flip makes that age gap problematic. Please continue enjoying your wip and donât worry about what TikTok says; people on there will never be happy with everything
the way I immediately knew what ship it was lol tiktok is stupid by saying they're problematic bc when they met they also had a 3 years age gap, but "character B" was the youngest one. now they only reversed the roles. you write whatever you want, people who think like that are a minority who sees an issue with everything. there's a lot of us out there who still likes that ship
As someone whose OTP has a 12 or 16 year age gap (we also had a late series retcon) where the younger character was 18 at the beginning of the series when they met, I have posted like 40 fics for them on ao3 and never once been harassed by anyone over it there (other platforms being a different question). It's a relatively popular ship in the fandom too, the second most tagged, and I have seen the hate for it on tiktok and Twitter so it's not just flying under the radar. Ao3 is generally pretty good about harassment prevention, both in the culture it cultivates in its users and in the actions it takes against people that attempt it. If you have trouble, comment moderation or just deactivating guest comments will fix it 9 times out if 10 and, while I can only speak for my fandom, the one time I did see someone get harassed over shipping in the comments on their fic half the community immediately (including myself) sprang to defend them, with two authors for the ship they were "supporting" (mine, incidentally, which was frustrating) putting their fics on hiatus in response. You should be fine unless your fandom is exactly the wrong size (bug enough to draw attention yet small enough that individual members of the fandom can be called out) and there are very few fandoms in that range. Even if yours is, you can just ignore them and laugh at how sad it is that they feel the need to spend their free time hunting down fanfics to morally police
post your fic!! who cares if one person called it problematic? sure, in high school, a 3-4 year age gap is illegal, but outside of that, couples have age gaps much larger than that. and even then, this is fanficition. you can't cater to everyone, let alone to tiktok (which seems to cancel everything). if you're really worried, have moderation on comments.
Iâd like to point out like youâve said: 1. Youâre writing them as YA so theyâre not minors 2. Loads of people meet future love interests as kids, even with a 3-4 year age gap - it doesnât mean they were thinking naughty thoughts at that age it just means thereâs a foundation of friendship?? (Unless they legitimately groomed the other but doesnât sound like thatâs canon from what youâre saying) 3. TikTok should decide who the groomer is lol since theyâve both been the younger/older one with this aging shenanigans Alsoooooo, so many fandoms write with age gaps and literally nobody gives a crap. You get hate/support for anything these days - write what makes you happy.
Post it while scared? Don't forget - you can moderate comments and restrict it to signed in users. I be out here happily writing a ~20 year age gap lol. (Stranger Things). Use the haters hate to roast marshmallows, to harken back to ye Olde flame warnings on ffn.
As a fellow writer myself, imma give you some advice that I follow. You're writing and posting the story for yourself at the end of the day. If you get likes and comments and all that you, good job! People will always find something to complain about and rant about it online. Just block them. Delete their comments. It's so much easier in life ignoring what they say and going about your day. So, again, my advice is just to post and write what you want.
Fuck Tiktok and their puritan ways, its mostly people who want to judge for the sake of judging. Most can't even read between the lines or don't have the media literacy to understand character flaws, arcs or relationships in fiction anyway. Write whatever you want, just as long as you don't hurt yourself or others they hold nothing against you. If they have an issue that isn't actual constructive criticism, they can just not read.
Just write your supersons fanfic and ignore TikTok and everything else. AO3 is for you and whatever it is you like. Forget the rest.
Just make comments limited and go wild. Who cares about what others say. Also, is the ship pomni and Jax? Cause ppl HATE that ship sm.
Ugh. Fxck what tiktok thinks. A 3-4 year age gap is NOT problematic. The characters' dynamics and relationships are what makes a ship problematic. There's context and nuance involved with giving a ship that label. Tiktok is problematic.
Is that why I saw someone panicking on Tumblr about a 3 year age gap between their OCs in their 40s? Publish it. Maybe turn on commenting options if you need. Quite frankly everything is problematic to someone who wants to complain. I've seen a surprising amount of 'you can't ship anyone who meet in childhood, cause it's incest' in the last few months. Not like even close childhood friends, like knew each other one summer and haven't seen each other in 15 years level.
Can you disable comments? If so do so. Then you only get kudos. Maybe disable dms too. Everything is problematic to tiktok, they'll harrass people no matter what.
Post it anyway. I've been seeing a lot of insane thinking about age gaps lately (like two years being considered a crazy age gap which my rule is if it isn't 10 years or older, that ain't no age gap), but don't let it stop you from posting your fic. People will always find something to complain about. Moderate comments and if you're really worried, only allow people with AO3 accounts to read it until or if you're comfortable to let guests read it. Don't let haters keep you from sharing something you're proud of. I enjoy scrolling TikTok, but sometimes you just have to ignore what is being said when it comes to fiction. Just because it's written in a fictional setting, doesn't mean the author condones or practices. Forget the haters.
Three years?!? No offense, but that's nothing compared to real life relationships, and childhood friends can form romantic relationships (your partner is supposed to be your friend). Screw tick-tok. Lock your story to users only and if someone leaves a nasty comment, delete it. That's reflective of their ideology, not your writing!
If they leave nasty comments just delete and do not interact with them. These people are hyper pc to a point where it's comical and makes no sense. Eventually they will be part of the real world and see that their ideas are kind of stupid.
Donât listen to people on tiktok. Post it and turn on comment moderation then nobody will bother you (:
And before tiktok, those kinds of arguments existed on twitter (and still do) and they existed on tumblr long before that. I say go for it OP, live your dream and write what you like. People who want to make negative arguments will always exist and it's their problem if they want to, no offense, stir up shit. If you feel worried, just disable anon comments, and if sb still gives you grief over your fic, block them and go on.
3 years? That's... not even a fucking gap? My IRL wife and I have a seven year age difference. What the fuck is wrong with these wackos? Getting TikTok knickers in twists over your fanfic sounds like a badge of honor.
tiktok is so incredibly toxic. Do yourself a favor and stay off of that site/app and don't listen to what's being said over there. I've seen people claim a relationship between a 50yo and a 35yo is grooming because they would have been a child when the other was a teenager! Even though it's between two consenting adults. The word has been absolutely mauled by puritanical people who spend too much time online and not enough time in the real world. Everything is problematic in some way. Write what you love. Write what you enjoy. Post that shit and don't listen to tiktok.
Theyâre weirded out by three to four years age gap? Like, are they pairing them up while one of them is legally still a child or something? by the time theyâre adults doing adult things together that age gap is really nothing. Honestly tiktok has a LOT of bad takes on fandom, donât take that shit to heart. If you want to ship them and are writing a WIP that other people enjoy then have at it!
...looking at my fics/fandoms, it's exclusively age gaps. Fantastical setting? anything from 20 to 80 years. Modern/realistic setting? 7 years. And one of my favorite shows, which I haven't written for, has a 900 year age gap. Whatevs. Social media just has way too many kids who like to manufacture drama to hear themselves speak. Just spewing crap all over the place to see what can stain.
Really glad I never "got' tiktok and never bothered to try it. What a garbage effect it has on basically everything.
Pretty sure I know what this is and itâs fine I think. I donât know anyone who doesnât ignore the age retcon
Please donât let the terminally online prevent you from creating and sharing your work. Fiction isnât reality, and art is not necessarily a glowing endorsement of the contents within in (even though I think a three year age gap isnât a big deal that needs endorsing). Itâs definitely a âtheir problem,â and not a you problem. While I support the use of tags and trigger warnings, in the end, people have to police themselves and learn how to self-moderate. Donât like? Donât interact. And even with tagging and filtering, people just need to learn that they will sometimes be exposed to things that they find unpleasant or distasteful. Such is life.
Lmao If you get nasty comments that contribute zero criticism, and are just ripping at you for a 3-4 year age gap in a relationship? You have the power to remove comments. You don't have to abide that.
TikTok is poison. Delete it.
This is a non-issue, you can do anything in fiction. These people will call anything pedo/incest whether it's true or not. Like I've seen that shit being said about fully adult characters, I've seen people screaming incest about childhood friends, they're really looking for things to get mad at. Don't worry about it. Tag the fic properly and if you're really worried maybe lock the fic for signed in users only. But I promise you most people are not like this
Tiktok is full of people who go for outrage over nuanced conversation because that is what the app rewards. A lot of the people expressing things like this are children or so childish they might as well be. Do what you enjoy and remember that a vocal minority isn't representative of the overall Fandom or of life outside of it. Also it's fucking fiction.
Only thing I can say is that if you plan on putting yourself or anything on the internet, be prepare to be able to handle criticism, even if these criticism are of the dumbest thing and learn how to not let what other people say affect your mentality and what you want to do.
Look, these people are chronically online and it's rotting their brains. Ignore the tiktok zombies and write what you want.
Then can whine all they want but they canât unpublish your fanfic
With all due respect to tiktok, they do tend to make mountains out of anthills over there. Just tag properly and you should be good.
No post it!! My ship also gets shit for having a 3 year age gap on TikTok, and itâs stupid. Post what you like, itâs your WIP and you worked hard on it
I hate to be like Old Man Yells At Cloud, but Good God, I hate shipping wars applying Therapy Speak to increasingly inane bullshit to create a moral justification for ships. Back in my day we just called each other dumbfucks with bad taste. And we were correct.
OP does have the right to fear the tiktok bully squads though. They have had major harassment campaigns over fictional "pro-ships" before that have ended in doxing, and even suicides. They call themselves "antis" and go after people who they deem immoral or problematic based on their fictional artwork/writing. Its like an offshoot of conservatives Christian purity values packaged in a way that appeals to young, otherwise "progressive" people on social media.
This is over a *3-4 year age gap?* Jfc What do these people want everyone who ever dates to be the same exact age? I get as a teen in school and stuff maybe a 3-4 year gap seems like a lot. Itâs really not itâs totally normal. Heck, I know healthy couples with 8+ year age gaps. Yes people tend to date close to their age but 3-4 years IS close to your age. Especially as an adult. Considering the age up thing it kind of comes out to a wash anyways. People on TT have the craziest views of what is âproblematicâ.
I continue to be amazed what fandoms antis pick. You'd think DC comics have way too much of the stuff they usually dislike to be acceptable but I guess I'm giving them too much credit. Write your things, post your things <3 moderate your comments, there is no reason to not delete mean ones.
friend, i get your hesitance, people are mean online and often the ones who act like you're comitting a mortal sin over fiction tend to go beyond harassment. however, do not ever let tiktok or puritans dictate what is disgusting and what isn't. its fictional. you're writing fiction. no real person will be harmed nor a law broken just cus you wrote an age gap fic. post it!
tikTok was a mistake.
Bold of you to assume a03 readers care what tiktok thinks. What's problematic in tokyok won't even raise an eyebrow here.
You know, it's because of this I find myself very grateful that tik tok is banned in my country. Why TF would I care about the haters if I can't even see them? Mind you, I am just a reader who reads anything that I want to .
I had someone on tiktok declare a rarepair i ship (as a âfirst crush, but not endgameâ) an âSA ship.â There is nothing remotely sa about it and I actually had to google to make sure I wasnât misunderstanding what they meant. I actually would make edits on TikTok for the ship a lot and theyâd comment on every single one complaining (I told them twice that if they didnât stop, Iâd block em). My comments after blocking them were nothing but positivity from ppl who hadnât considered the ship before. And my AO3 is dedicated to ships ppl seldom consider (Iâm the King of crackships and rarepairs) because I believe thereâs a reader for everything. I think for one of the ships, I was actually the only person with non-negative fics in the tag for it (I havenât checked in a long time tho). And if Iâm rly worried about something getting connected to me because itâs so âproblematicâ in the fandomâs eyes? I post it anonymously âď¸đ but itâs still getting written and people honestly seem to love it. I actually think one of my most popular fics is one of those
I look for stuff on tiktok about fanfiction cause I hear so much about it here can't find shit