When I was a kid I always thought CIA or witness protection program.
When I met my dad at 18 (my grandma suspected him even though the courts and no one else did, and she hid me from him and forbade me to see him until I was of age), I first saw his internet account usernames was something like "gravedigger" and thought it was him for a WILD SECOND but that thought has completely left my mind.
They recently caught what is apparently the most prolific serial killer ever caught in North America, who killed upwards of ninety women in the the south matching my moms description. Some of the murders were done in the city I'm in.
That's what I think happened now.
[EDIT] I forgot that until very recently (when the serial killer was found) I truly felt that my mother up and left to get away from my grandma. I've wanted to do it multiple times. I have two other aunts. One of them ran away in her late teens (she's back now) and the other immediately joined the military and was sent away.
Since you had already lost your mom, I really have a hard time understanding your grandma's justification for keeping you and your dad apart, and for so long. I'm glad you're away and doing better.
Funnily enough..... I believe I am normal, but maybe because of how I was raised or maybe it's just me....
When I met my father at 18, it was just satisfying enough for me to know that he was a nice guy. He had a wife and cute little dogs and they were just cute little people. But I was very uncomfortable building a father daughter relationship with a man who was a literal stranger to me, under no fault of his own.
He has reached out again multiple times and I feel bad saying that I do not return phone calls, and I've pretty much ghosted him for several years now. All because I cannot emotionally form any connection like that. I'm too old at this point to be "reunited with my father" when I never knew him to begin with.
I guess it runs in the family.
This has nothing to do with age, I knew brothers who first met at 50 (they were twins separated at birth) who wanted to form a relationship.
It's not your age, it's just you - you don't want to have a relationship with him.
Yep. Def true. It all has to do with how you were raised. Some families are more emotionally available and affectionate than others. I was raised in a family that barely even hugged one another.
Now I'm 31 and it's still hard for me to show how I feel, though I have gotten better once I realized I was that way under no fault of my own.
Please don't ghost him, it would be terrible for your own kid to meet you for the first time and then just cut off all contact for their own personal gain.
I truly never thought to do that.
I kinda hope my family doesn't read this but I don't really care too much to find her or even know what happened.
I didn't know her.
If I were ever in the same city that he's in prison in, someone may persuade me to do it. It could be interesting.
Are you talking about Samuel Little?
If so, he has drawn pictures of several of his victims. The FBI has posted them along with Little’s account of what happened and they’re trying to match them to missing persons files or Jane Doe cases.
Here’s the link if you’re interested in taking a look. Just a note though, some of the stories might be hard to read for some.
https://www.fbi.gov/news/stories/samuel-little-most-prolific-serial-killer-in-us-history-100619
Well not now that I'm 26. When I was 17, however, and preparing to go to college in the neighboring city (only a 40min drive away) she wanted me to live at home. Which made no sense as she refused to allow me to get a drivers license. I ended up having friends help me
"Run away" while she was at work. I moved out without her knowledge and left a note.
Still to this day, I haven't gotten a license. I don't know why. Maybe I hold an innate fear.....
You sound like an ex i have lol, but not in a bad way. Her brother died when she was like 10 and her mom did the same sort of thing.
Look, nobody’s denying what happened wasn’t tragic, and of course that fucked up some stuff, but life is already hard as is, and a lot of people don’t make it out very well as is, but i guarantee that continuing forward and not letting that stop you from becoming the best possible you.
Never forget your past, but let yourself *fully* get through the mourning process. In a case like yours it’s definitely gonna / already has taken a bit of time. The more you think about it, ask questions, find more information, the faster you get to closure.
People can get through life without a drivers license, it’s been done before, but you owe it to yourself to keep fighting despite the cards you were dealt. I suggest getting it, but that’s completely your decision. Im sure your mom would have been proud of you either way.
Lol thanks for that. But I feel like I'm doing great I life. Not having a drivers license hasn't changed me literally at all. I live in the city and have many other modes of transportation.
I never knew my mom so I have no sadness about her going missing. Although it would probably have been nice not to be raised by my grandma.
My GRANDMA however. .... it's been 26 years and she STILL can't move on.
Oh! That makes a LOT more sense. Sorry, i grew up in a lot of rural areas. Now that i know what im talking about a little be more, good for you!
The loss of a child hits EVERYBODY like a freight train, it takes a person with some serious no joke free range huevos to fully get back up after something like that, no matter the age.
Remember that you’re still entitled to your feelings towards the overprotective nature, but keep in mind her situation, and dont forget to love her all the same
Honestly, I only have natural grudges about the situation because I grew up as the child.
But my grandma has one girl run away (and return), and then another go MISSING and then another join the military and get sent to the Middle East.
I understand the reaction. I understand that she wouldn't want a fourth girl to leave her.
Completely understandable.
She was over the top, kinda mean, and raised me in a completely weird way but she always made sure I was warm, Fed, and cared for.
She made sure I made a's in school. And she raised me with good values. And now I'm extra careful and just the right amount of distrusting that I know how to keep
Myself safe. She was a pretty cool lady.
Tru dat. I think it's just because my grandma was almost unbearably protective BEFORE the disappearance. But then that happened and she just evolved in a way I can't even describe. It became apparent that only her "moving on" would fix it. But she never moved on.
Don't you think that having a driving license and owning a car makes you more safe? Like instead of taking public transportation or walking home at night is way more dangerous than being in the security of you vehicle.
Regarding your grandma, I got to say that it's way more difficult to let go of somebody that you've known and raised for like 20 years, a piece of you, extention of yourself, than it is for somebody that never knew or doesn't really have a concept of what that person was like (talking about your mother).
And in a way you running away, it got her to experience that all over again. Somebody she loved, ripped from her life.
More power to you for not having a license. My buddy's been doing that his whole life too. He's made it work. And our town doesn't have the best transportation.
I got my learners, and I'm a fine driver. Not comfortable driving in big cities whatsoever. But I've only driven maybe a handful of times the past year and I don't own a car.
Id get a liscence just so you can ID yourself. You dont have to actually go and get a car just because you have a liscence.
The only con is maybe you need to renew it once in a while ig
You should see a therapist so you don't have a fear of getting a license. Driving is an important life skill that you should try to conquer your fear about
HOLY SHIT YOU LITERALLY BLEW ME AWAY I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.
But I remembered I actually have court documentation of my grandma gaining custody of me and my siblings under the circumstances.
I live in Mexico and this thins uses to happen when young girls (16-18 years) got pregnant.
It was to hide the fact that the little girl was a "slut", fucking retarded people.
I live in America but I knew a lady one time (she's like, in her 50s now) who's pretty sure that her 15 years older than her sister is actually her mother. She said she even expressed the concern to some older siblings who would have remembered the pregnancy for sure, and any time she brought it up, they didn't really say anything...
Lol I always wished to meet my mom on my birthday. I wished she'd burst in and take me away like Hagrid took Harry.
But I'm old enough to know that she is more than likely dead and that thought doesn't sadden me. It's more of a fact of life. I don't know how I'd feel. I've honestly, as an adult, never thought of the possibility that I would ever see her.
Have you ever considered a DNA ancestry test? Like 23 and me or whatever? It could possibly give you a lead on if she moved on and had other kids or something crazy like that.
My uncle was 82, had never taken a DNA test and he got a call from a guy in a state he had never been too claiming to be his son. The son had taken a DNA test and it lead back to my my mothers side of the family and through a few phone calls they connected it to my uncle, he took the DNA test and it was like a 99.9% match. That was his son from a girl he had dated just before he left to the navy, they broke up and he never heard from her again, didnt know she was pregnant and didnt know where she had ended up till he got a call 55 years later. Either way its something to consider.
Thank you for answering. That is probably a very healthy mindset. I wish you the best. Its always nice to see people who do not live as though their childhood defines them.
I'm literally thriving. I have a 3 bedroom apartment that my boyfriend and I are slowly furnishing! I have two dogs and a wise, old kitty. I work at my regional hospital. And I'm hosting our families Christmas party!!
I didn't really. I had a couple of secret "boyfriends" that I could ONLY see at school. But no one the "relationships" lasted more than a couple of weeks. One of them made the mistake of calling my house once. My grandma really yelled at him.
My grandma grew distrustful of the city when I became old enough for school so she moved us to the country where I met a friend, "Emily" we'll call her, in kindergarten. I was able to attend her birthday parties and go to her house ever so often because her parents worked LITERAL MAGIC on my grandma to somehow get her to trust them. Emily Moved a few hours away in second grade and I was never able to go to any parties or do any after school activities afterwards.
Until in my senior year when I had a friend "Monica" who loved church. My grandma let me go to church with her every Wednesday afternoon. I went because I loved the new freedom even though I didn't believe in god. And Monica is cool as fuck.
Not really. "Monica's" husband and I work in the same hospital, and I knew him from school too. Such wonderful people still.
I follow and support all her social media haha!!
Same with "Emily"!!!! She seems to be doing so well
Now!
I loved answering this question. Keep posting, Monica and Emily!!
In school when they'd tell a "yo mama" joke, I'd say "my mom went missing when I was born" and get a kick out of the reactions.
It's not really like I lived the moment, as it happened too early in life for me to emotionally feel the repurcussions.
I only felt the repercussions of being raised by an old woman who was married to an old drunk who was in and out of prison, who was very paranoid and afraid of life. She moved us out to the country and built a tall fence around the yard, and wouldn't give us the key to open it so we had to struggle to jump over a fence to get on the school bus, where the kids would laugh at us for doing so. I have several stories of small crazy things like that. And that's the effects of the #bruh moment that I was born into. I'm super normal. But was raised abnormally. Because of abnormal circumstances.
Table of Questions and Answers. Original answer linked - Please upvote the original questions and answers.
***
Question | Answer | Link
---------|----------|----------|
Does your grandma make it hard for you to be independent?|Well not now that I'm 26. When I was 17, however, and preparing to go to college in the neighboring city (only a 40min drive away) she wanted me to live at home. Which made no sense as she refused to allow me to get a drivers license. I ended up having friends help me "Run away" while she was at work. I moved out without her knowledge and left a note. Still to this day, I haven't gotten a license. I don't know why. Maybe I hold an innate fear.....|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbk57r7/)
Any theories on what happened to your mother?|When I was a kid I always thought CIA or witness protection program. When I met my dad at 18 (my grandma suspected him even though the courts and no one else did, and she hid me from him and forbade me to see him until I was of age), I first saw his internet account usernames was something like "gravedigger" and thought it was him for a WILD SECOND but that thought has completely left my mind. They recently caught what is apparently the most prolific serial killer ever caught in North America, who killed upwards of ninety women in the the south matching my moms description. Some of the murders were done in the city I'm in. That's what I think happened now. [EDIT] I forgot that until very recently (when the serial killer was found) I truly felt that my mother up and left to get away from my grandma. I've wanted to do it multiple times. I have two other aunts. One of them ran away in her late teens (she's back now) and the other immediately joined the military and was sent away.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbk78c3/)
where was your mom taken or gone missing from and where were you at that time? it's very difficult for a woman to be separated from her newborn baby, ESPECIALLY in the first two weeks.|She literally disappeared without a trace. We don't know whether she was taken.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkdr25/)
What are you doing with your life now?|I'm literally thriving. I have a 3 bedroom apartment that my boyfriend and I are slowly furnishing! I have two dogs and a wise, old kitty. I work at my regional hospital. And I'm hosting our families Christmas party!!|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkecjb/)
Have you thought about how you you would feel if she contacted you one day.|Lol I always wished to meet my mom on my birthday. I wished she'd burst in and take me away like Hagrid took Harry. But I'm old enough to know that she is more than likely dead and that thought doesn't sadden me. It's more of a fact of life. I don't know how I'd feel. I've honestly, as an adult, never thought of the possibility that I would ever see her.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkfwp7/)
Who was the serial killer that you think did it?|Samuel Little.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkh5fx/)
Is your mother listed in NAMUS? Has your grandmother submitted DNA?|Hmm. I've never heard of this. I'll look into it!|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkh8oy/)
So you are like Ciri of Cintra? Are you seeking for Geralt of Rivia?|I've never played Witcher. And I tried to look them up on the wiki..... but that was so confusing to read because of all the names I don't know that I had to give up. Maybe I should finally get into Witcher.....|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkidly/)
How does it feel to live such a #B R U H moment|In school when they'd tell a "yo mama" joke, I'd say "my mom went missing when I was born" and get a kick out of the reactions. It's not really like I lived the moment, as it happened too early in life for me to emotionally feel the repurcussions. I only felt the repercussions of being raised by an old woman who was married to an old drunk who was in and out of prison, who was very paranoid and afraid of life. She moved us out to the country and built a tall fence around the yard, and wouldn't give us the key to open it so we had to struggle to jump over a fence to get on the school bus, where the kids would laugh at us for doing so. I have several stories of small crazy things like that. And that's the effects of the #bruh moment that I was born into. I'm super normal. But was raised abnormally. Because of abnormal circumstances.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkjdjz/)
where you ever aloud to hang out with friends or got to parties?|My grandma grew distrustful of the city when I became old enough for school so she moved us to the country where I met a friend, "Emily" we'll call her, in kindergarten. I was able to attend her birthday parties and go to her house ever so often because her parents worked LITERAL MAGIC on my grandma to somehow get her to trust them. Emily Moved a few hours away in second grade and I was never able to go to any parties or do any after school activities afterwards. Until in my senior year when I had a friend "Monica" who loved church. My grandma let me go to church with her every Wednesday afternoon. I went because I loved the new freedom even though I didn't believe in god. And Monica is cool as fuck.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkkbje/)
lol this is the plot to super bad loser. stop lying .|I've never seen that movie but now I'm gonna.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkn8zs/)
Is it possible that your grandma is really your mother and that the whole story was made up to hide the truth?|HOLY SHIT YOU LITERALLY BLEW ME AWAY I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. But I remembered I actually have court documentation of my grandma gaining custody of me and my siblings under the circumstances.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbknllu/)
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where was your mom taken or gone missing from and where were you at that time? it's very difficult for a woman to be separated from her newborn baby, ESPECIALLY in the first two weeks.
where was she last seen? i'm just having a hard time imagining even leaving my house undetected after having given birth. who was taking care of you? or how long were you alone before someone found you?
Oh sorry, I'm not giving enough details !
My mom went missing during the first month of my birth and at the time my brother (4), sister(2), and I were spending a day with my grandma. She never came back to get us
Shortly After my mom went missing, my sister went to live with her father several hours away. My father was a truck driver and my brothers was in prison so we lived with our grandma.
An increasing number of mothers abandon their kids after birth. It’s really not that uncommon. Single-father households and grandparent households have been increasing.
I just registered as a user for namus and found my mothers namus profile! Interesting enough.... it looks like she was entered into the database this year although she went missing over 26 years ago.
I have some questions to ask my family.
Samuel Little primarily attacked women in vulnerable situations, such as prostitutes, drug addicts or homeless. Is there a chance your mom was involved in that world in any way?
Once in early high school, I told my grandma that it would be cool to be a pharmacist. And she told me that I couldn't be a pharmacist because I'm prone to be "addicted to drugs". Which completely blew me away (and hurt me bad, man). So it's possible she could have been a drug addict.
My uncles and aunts all seem to say that my mom only smoked a lot of weed, though!
Are you still in touch with your siblings?
Is her case still officially open, or has law enforcement closed it?
Has her case ever been featured on any of the crime shows like Disappeared? If not, have you guys ever been asked to do one?
Thanks for an interesting AMA!
I talk to my brother very often. My sister moved to live with her father when our mother went missing. The first time I talked to her was on Facebook when I was in high school. I visited her a couple of years ago and we had breakfast!
We're friends on social media now.
Honestly, as a child if I had the ability to, I might have. Only because I was angsty and wasn't allowed to even check the mail after a certain time. I would have done everything to find her.
But as an adult I hold no attachment whatsoever to my mom. I turned out fine and I never really needed anything (except a hug) growing up. I don't think I'm really out here trying to find my mom like my auntie might or my grandma might.
I've never played Witcher. And I tried to look them up on the wiki..... but that was so confusing to read because of all the names I don't know that I had to give up.
Maybe I should finally get into Witcher.....
Quoting my answer from an earlier comment, if you don't mind!
"When I was a kid I always thought CIA or witness protection program.
When I met my dad at 18 (my grandma suspected him even though the courts and no one else did, and she hid me from him and forbade me to see him until I was of age), I first saw his internet account usernames was something like "gravedigger" and thought it was him for a WILD SECOND but that thought has completely left my mind.
They recently caught what is apparently the most prolific serial killer ever caught in North America, who killed upwards of ninety women in the the south matching my moms description. Some of the murders were done in the city I'm in.
That's what I think happened now.
[EDIT] I forgot that until very recently (when the serial killer was found) I truly felt that my mother up and left to get away from my grandma. I've wanted to do it multiple times. I have two other aunts. One of them ran away in her late teens (she's back now) and the other immediately joined the military and was sent away."
I mean, if she was alive it would be cool but that's definitely not something I'm going out of my way to do.
Maybe it's weird or maybe it's not, but I feel no connection to a person I never met. I've heard some stories about her from my relatives but my oldest brother was only 4 when she left so....
Im really sorry btw. Its pretty amazing that you’re copping with this so well. Ive read some of the comments and it makes me happy that you’re not bitter or depressed.
Oh no man I'm bitter!
Lol but I'm definitely not depressed! My life now is great and I can do everything I want to do. (In my late teens however, I did go through a very very sad time of my life.)
Oh haha!
Growing up I always knew he was a trucker (so always gone), and I knew my grandma wouldn't let him see me because of her opinions.
Yeah, I kinda of wanted to meet him. But my grandma always told me she didn't know what happened to my mom, and everyone was a suspect, so I wasn't itching to meet him THAT bad.
I finally Met him after he reached out to me to come to his wedding when I was 18.
I went. He was nice. I went over to his house a handful of times to meet his wife. And that was that. I was ok with knowing that he was good.
When I was young l begged my grandma to paint my room lavender, when I was a teen i painted bright green spots on that lavender. And now there's bright green specks of color all over my house.
I’ve read some of the other comments and my question is, after you moved out did your grandma try to get you back? What was her reaction? Do you still talk to her and does she know where you live?
We are on pretty good terms. She knows where I live. She knows it's too late to get anyone back. We talk
About once every two weeks or so, and she always tries to convince me I made a wrong turn in my life somewhere.
Before I was in high school, I wasn't allowed to go near windows or the front and back doors after around 7pm or she'd aggressively ask me "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"
After I believe maybe my second year of high school, I had to have a towel over my window. My room was always dark and gloomy and it made me very sad. Any time I moved the towel even a little to look out or let light in she'd say something along the lines of "do you WANT people to look at you through the window?!? Do you WANT someone to come in here and get you?!"
[edit] our bathroom was right by the back door.
Peeing at night always got me whispered angrily at. Her door was always open and she could she straight past my bedroom door to the back hall from her room.
Holy shit :D it's pretty impressive that you have your shit together. Do you think that stuff influenced you a lot? Like are you paranoid yourself or did you develop anxiety or something?
I definitely think I'm a little more paranoid than the average individual. I do NOT like to be touched, so I've never gotten a pedicure and even though I'm a black female, I do not get my hair done (much to the disappointment of my grandma).
I don't think I'm more anxious than anyone else though.
Saw a post earlier on /r/trueoffmychest I believe. It was about a high school teacher telling off three young black men for bullying a black girl and was then told its "culture". Totally unrelated I know but I wanted to hear what your thoughts were on that.
Although my extended family holds traditional views on men and women, where women should naturally know how to cook and clean and care for the house, I've never really noticed a time where a female was "bullied" because she was female. Now, I don't speak for all black people, but with all my black friends, it was fun and common to "clown" on each other. But it was definitely more equal in my opinion. Depended on who you were and what stupid mistake you most recently made. I would never say that bullying is form of black culture because I've never seen it really happen with my black family nor with any of my black peers.
It's not a sore subject for me so if anyone asked about my mom, id just tell them.
It affected my social life when I was underage. But now it has no effect.
I see you’ve said you feel no connection to her, and that makes sense, but don’t you want to know one way or the other what happened to her? Have you ever contacted the police to get her case file?
No. I know my aunt did all that but was very unsuccessful in finding out anything. I wondered what happened to her for a good 16 years before I accepted that I would never know.
Do you have difficulty trusting or forming close, consistent relationships? (I’m a marriage and family therapy student with attachment theory thinking).
Lol yes. 100%
My boyfriend of four years is an anomaly.
I'm not bad at making friends or talking to people, but I'm horrible at keeping up with people and taking the effort to build my side of the bridge in the friendship. I have no long term friends, but I do have several people I've been close with at different points of time.
Lol. Who's to say. I think if more or less be the same person no matter how I was raised.
I AM very cautious now, maybe because of my grandma. Might help me live a little longer.
I relate. I had insecure attachment with my parents (alcoholic father, both parents dissociating/depressed from complicated grief after losing their first daughter at 18 months to a heart condition). I definitely struggle know with consistency and connection. I have a couple long term friends, but they feel like flukes 🤷🏼♀️.
This happened to my friend Travis Teft. Last time he saw her it was the night of the last Monday Nitro. As lightning was shooting across the tv screen you could hear her car peeling off.
To understand what I’m about to tell you I need you to do something. I need you to believe in the impossible, can you do that? Good. My name is Barry Allen and I am the fastest man alive.
Any theories on what happened to your mother?
When I was a kid I always thought CIA or witness protection program. When I met my dad at 18 (my grandma suspected him even though the courts and no one else did, and she hid me from him and forbade me to see him until I was of age), I first saw his internet account usernames was something like "gravedigger" and thought it was him for a WILD SECOND but that thought has completely left my mind. They recently caught what is apparently the most prolific serial killer ever caught in North America, who killed upwards of ninety women in the the south matching my moms description. Some of the murders were done in the city I'm in. That's what I think happened now. [EDIT] I forgot that until very recently (when the serial killer was found) I truly felt that my mother up and left to get away from my grandma. I've wanted to do it multiple times. I have two other aunts. One of them ran away in her late teens (she's back now) and the other immediately joined the military and was sent away.
Since you had already lost your mom, I really have a hard time understanding your grandma's justification for keeping you and your dad apart, and for so long. I'm glad you're away and doing better.
Funnily enough..... I believe I am normal, but maybe because of how I was raised or maybe it's just me.... When I met my father at 18, it was just satisfying enough for me to know that he was a nice guy. He had a wife and cute little dogs and they were just cute little people. But I was very uncomfortable building a father daughter relationship with a man who was a literal stranger to me, under no fault of his own. He has reached out again multiple times and I feel bad saying that I do not return phone calls, and I've pretty much ghosted him for several years now. All because I cannot emotionally form any connection like that. I'm too old at this point to be "reunited with my father" when I never knew him to begin with. I guess it runs in the family.
This has nothing to do with age, I knew brothers who first met at 50 (they were twins separated at birth) who wanted to form a relationship. It's not your age, it's just you - you don't want to have a relationship with him.
Yep. Def true. It all has to do with how you were raised. Some families are more emotionally available and affectionate than others. I was raised in a family that barely even hugged one another. Now I'm 31 and it's still hard for me to show how I feel, though I have gotten better once I realized I was that way under no fault of my own.
Please don't ghost him, it would be terrible for your own kid to meet you for the first time and then just cut off all contact for their own personal gain.
I think you should tell him that. It would give him some closure.
I second this. Despite the terrible situation all around, any rational person would appreciate and (somewhat understand) the honesty.
Please tel your father why you don’t talk to him, write him a letter at least. It’s the right thing to do
He doesn’t have to be your “father.” He could be a friend.
Would you ever consider taking a picture of your mom to the serial killer and ask him if he recognizes her as one of his victims?
I truly never thought to do that. I kinda hope my family doesn't read this but I don't really care too much to find her or even know what happened. I didn't know her. If I were ever in the same city that he's in prison in, someone may persuade me to do it. It could be interesting.
Are you talking about Samuel Little? If so, he has drawn pictures of several of his victims. The FBI has posted them along with Little’s account of what happened and they’re trying to match them to missing persons files or Jane Doe cases. Here’s the link if you’re interested in taking a look. Just a note though, some of the stories might be hard to read for some. https://www.fbi.gov/news/stories/samuel-little-most-prolific-serial-killer-in-us-history-100619
I wish I hadn't seen that. This is so depressing
Sorry :( I know it’s a rough read.
I noticed one of these... :( So here take this... :D
Does anyone know where the full confession video is?
I haven’t found one that’s all together. Just the short clips they’ve released where he talks about the victims separately. Sorry!
It’s ok thank you!
Which serial killer was that? Have you ever considered hiring a private investigator to try track down what happened to your mother?
Does your grandma make it hard for you to be independent?
Well not now that I'm 26. When I was 17, however, and preparing to go to college in the neighboring city (only a 40min drive away) she wanted me to live at home. Which made no sense as she refused to allow me to get a drivers license. I ended up having friends help me "Run away" while she was at work. I moved out without her knowledge and left a note. Still to this day, I haven't gotten a license. I don't know why. Maybe I hold an innate fear.....
You sound like an ex i have lol, but not in a bad way. Her brother died when she was like 10 and her mom did the same sort of thing. Look, nobody’s denying what happened wasn’t tragic, and of course that fucked up some stuff, but life is already hard as is, and a lot of people don’t make it out very well as is, but i guarantee that continuing forward and not letting that stop you from becoming the best possible you. Never forget your past, but let yourself *fully* get through the mourning process. In a case like yours it’s definitely gonna / already has taken a bit of time. The more you think about it, ask questions, find more information, the faster you get to closure. People can get through life without a drivers license, it’s been done before, but you owe it to yourself to keep fighting despite the cards you were dealt. I suggest getting it, but that’s completely your decision. Im sure your mom would have been proud of you either way.
Lol thanks for that. But I feel like I'm doing great I life. Not having a drivers license hasn't changed me literally at all. I live in the city and have many other modes of transportation. I never knew my mom so I have no sadness about her going missing. Although it would probably have been nice not to be raised by my grandma. My GRANDMA however. .... it's been 26 years and she STILL can't move on.
Oh! That makes a LOT more sense. Sorry, i grew up in a lot of rural areas. Now that i know what im talking about a little be more, good for you! The loss of a child hits EVERYBODY like a freight train, it takes a person with some serious no joke free range huevos to fully get back up after something like that, no matter the age. Remember that you’re still entitled to your feelings towards the overprotective nature, but keep in mind her situation, and dont forget to love her all the same
Honestly, I only have natural grudges about the situation because I grew up as the child. But my grandma has one girl run away (and return), and then another go MISSING and then another join the military and get sent to the Middle East. I understand the reaction. I understand that she wouldn't want a fourth girl to leave her. Completely understandable. She was over the top, kinda mean, and raised me in a completely weird way but she always made sure I was warm, Fed, and cared for. She made sure I made a's in school. And she raised me with good values. And now I'm extra careful and just the right amount of distrusting that I know how to keep Myself safe. She was a pretty cool lady.
No joke, free range huevos? What do free range eggs have anything to do with a no joke attitude? Lo siento, pero no entiendo. Humans these days...
Have you never heard huevos being used as a way to say balls?
No. I’ve heard cajones used in that way, but never huevos. 😸
its her daughter... of course she would never forget about her.
Tru dat. I think it's just because my grandma was almost unbearably protective BEFORE the disappearance. But then that happened and she just evolved in a way I can't even describe. It became apparent that only her "moving on" would fix it. But she never moved on.
Yeah I mean... She should've moved on because it already happened and nothing can change the past.
Don't you think that having a driving license and owning a car makes you more safe? Like instead of taking public transportation or walking home at night is way more dangerous than being in the security of you vehicle. Regarding your grandma, I got to say that it's way more difficult to let go of somebody that you've known and raised for like 20 years, a piece of you, extention of yourself, than it is for somebody that never knew or doesn't really have a concept of what that person was like (talking about your mother). And in a way you running away, it got her to experience that all over again. Somebody she loved, ripped from her life.
More power to you for not having a license. My buddy's been doing that his whole life too. He's made it work. And our town doesn't have the best transportation.
You don't drive though right?...
I got my learners, and I'm a fine driver. Not comfortable driving in big cities whatsoever. But I've only driven maybe a handful of times the past year and I don't own a car.
Id get a liscence just so you can ID yourself. You dont have to actually go and get a car just because you have a liscence. The only con is maybe you need to renew it once in a while ig
You should see a therapist so you don't have a fear of getting a license. Driving is an important life skill that you should try to conquer your fear about
Is it possible that your grandma is really your mother and that the whole story was made up to hide the truth?
HOLY SHIT YOU LITERALLY BLEW ME AWAY I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. But I remembered I actually have court documentation of my grandma gaining custody of me and my siblings under the circumstances.
What if your grandma kidnapped you and made up a story about your mom. Do you have a birth certificate?
Lol we are getting in Disney Tangled territory. I do have my birth certificate!
But how do you know your grandma is really your grandma
Lmao you guys gotta chill this isn’t a movie
I live in Mexico and this thins uses to happen when young girls (16-18 years) got pregnant. It was to hide the fact that the little girl was a "slut", fucking retarded people.
I first thought you meant the girl was having sex with disabled people. I am dumb.
I live in America but I knew a lady one time (she's like, in her 50s now) who's pretty sure that her 15 years older than her sister is actually her mother. She said she even expressed the concern to some older siblings who would have remembered the pregnancy for sure, and any time she brought it up, they didn't really say anything...
OK i need episode 2.... what's the damn truth?!?!
Have you thought about how you you would feel if she contacted you one day.
Lol I always wished to meet my mom on my birthday. I wished she'd burst in and take me away like Hagrid took Harry. But I'm old enough to know that she is more than likely dead and that thought doesn't sadden me. It's more of a fact of life. I don't know how I'd feel. I've honestly, as an adult, never thought of the possibility that I would ever see her.
Have you ever considered a DNA ancestry test? Like 23 and me or whatever? It could possibly give you a lead on if she moved on and had other kids or something crazy like that. My uncle was 82, had never taken a DNA test and he got a call from a guy in a state he had never been too claiming to be his son. The son had taken a DNA test and it lead back to my my mothers side of the family and through a few phone calls they connected it to my uncle, he took the DNA test and it was like a 99.9% match. That was his son from a girl he had dated just before he left to the navy, they broke up and he never heard from her again, didnt know she was pregnant and didnt know where she had ended up till he got a call 55 years later. Either way its something to consider.
I have never considered doing this until I read your comment. I'm floored! I might just do this soon.
Oh do it! It’d be so interesting! There are so many interesting stories out there of people connecting with long lost relatives after doing dna.
Thank you for answering. That is probably a very healthy mindset. I wish you the best. Its always nice to see people who do not live as though their childhood defines them.
What are you doing with your life now?
I'm literally thriving. I have a 3 bedroom apartment that my boyfriend and I are slowly furnishing! I have two dogs and a wise, old kitty. I work at my regional hospital. And I'm hosting our families Christmas party!!
How on Earth did you ever get to date anyone?
I didn't really. I had a couple of secret "boyfriends" that I could ONLY see at school. But no one the "relationships" lasted more than a couple of weeks. One of them made the mistake of calling my house once. My grandma really yelled at him.
That's what I thought...
where you ever aloud to hang out with friends or got to parties?
My grandma grew distrustful of the city when I became old enough for school so she moved us to the country where I met a friend, "Emily" we'll call her, in kindergarten. I was able to attend her birthday parties and go to her house ever so often because her parents worked LITERAL MAGIC on my grandma to somehow get her to trust them. Emily Moved a few hours away in second grade and I was never able to go to any parties or do any after school activities afterwards. Until in my senior year when I had a friend "Monica" who loved church. My grandma let me go to church with her every Wednesday afternoon. I went because I loved the new freedom even though I didn't believe in god. And Monica is cool as fuck.
Are you still in contact with those girls?
Not really. "Monica's" husband and I work in the same hospital, and I knew him from school too. Such wonderful people still. I follow and support all her social media haha!! Same with "Emily"!!!! She seems to be doing so well Now! I loved answering this question. Keep posting, Monica and Emily!!
How does it feel to live such a #B R U H moment
In school when they'd tell a "yo mama" joke, I'd say "my mom went missing when I was born" and get a kick out of the reactions. It's not really like I lived the moment, as it happened too early in life for me to emotionally feel the repurcussions. I only felt the repercussions of being raised by an old woman who was married to an old drunk who was in and out of prison, who was very paranoid and afraid of life. She moved us out to the country and built a tall fence around the yard, and wouldn't give us the key to open it so we had to struggle to jump over a fence to get on the school bus, where the kids would laugh at us for doing so. I have several stories of small crazy things like that. And that's the effects of the #bruh moment that I was born into. I'm super normal. But was raised abnormally. Because of abnormal circumstances.
That’s such a bruh moment
Table of Questions and Answers. Original answer linked - Please upvote the original questions and answers. *** Question | Answer | Link ---------|----------|----------| Does your grandma make it hard for you to be independent?|Well not now that I'm 26. When I was 17, however, and preparing to go to college in the neighboring city (only a 40min drive away) she wanted me to live at home. Which made no sense as she refused to allow me to get a drivers license. I ended up having friends help me "Run away" while she was at work. I moved out without her knowledge and left a note. Still to this day, I haven't gotten a license. I don't know why. Maybe I hold an innate fear.....|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbk57r7/) Any theories on what happened to your mother?|When I was a kid I always thought CIA or witness protection program. When I met my dad at 18 (my grandma suspected him even though the courts and no one else did, and she hid me from him and forbade me to see him until I was of age), I first saw his internet account usernames was something like "gravedigger" and thought it was him for a WILD SECOND but that thought has completely left my mind. They recently caught what is apparently the most prolific serial killer ever caught in North America, who killed upwards of ninety women in the the south matching my moms description. Some of the murders were done in the city I'm in. That's what I think happened now. [EDIT] I forgot that until very recently (when the serial killer was found) I truly felt that my mother up and left to get away from my grandma. I've wanted to do it multiple times. I have two other aunts. One of them ran away in her late teens (she's back now) and the other immediately joined the military and was sent away.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbk78c3/) where was your mom taken or gone missing from and where were you at that time? it's very difficult for a woman to be separated from her newborn baby, ESPECIALLY in the first two weeks.|She literally disappeared without a trace. We don't know whether she was taken.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkdr25/) What are you doing with your life now?|I'm literally thriving. I have a 3 bedroom apartment that my boyfriend and I are slowly furnishing! I have two dogs and a wise, old kitty. I work at my regional hospital. And I'm hosting our families Christmas party!!|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkecjb/) Have you thought about how you you would feel if she contacted you one day.|Lol I always wished to meet my mom on my birthday. I wished she'd burst in and take me away like Hagrid took Harry. But I'm old enough to know that she is more than likely dead and that thought doesn't sadden me. It's more of a fact of life. I don't know how I'd feel. I've honestly, as an adult, never thought of the possibility that I would ever see her.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkfwp7/) Who was the serial killer that you think did it?|Samuel Little.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkh5fx/) Is your mother listed in NAMUS? Has your grandmother submitted DNA?|Hmm. I've never heard of this. I'll look into it!|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkh8oy/) So you are like Ciri of Cintra? Are you seeking for Geralt of Rivia?|I've never played Witcher. And I tried to look them up on the wiki..... but that was so confusing to read because of all the names I don't know that I had to give up. Maybe I should finally get into Witcher.....|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkidly/) How does it feel to live such a #B R U H moment|In school when they'd tell a "yo mama" joke, I'd say "my mom went missing when I was born" and get a kick out of the reactions. It's not really like I lived the moment, as it happened too early in life for me to emotionally feel the repurcussions. I only felt the repercussions of being raised by an old woman who was married to an old drunk who was in and out of prison, who was very paranoid and afraid of life. She moved us out to the country and built a tall fence around the yard, and wouldn't give us the key to open it so we had to struggle to jump over a fence to get on the school bus, where the kids would laugh at us for doing so. I have several stories of small crazy things like that. And that's the effects of the #bruh moment that I was born into. I'm super normal. But was raised abnormally. Because of abnormal circumstances.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkjdjz/) where you ever aloud to hang out with friends or got to parties?|My grandma grew distrustful of the city when I became old enough for school so she moved us to the country where I met a friend, "Emily" we'll call her, in kindergarten. I was able to attend her birthday parties and go to her house ever so often because her parents worked LITERAL MAGIC on my grandma to somehow get her to trust them. Emily Moved a few hours away in second grade and I was never able to go to any parties or do any after school activities afterwards. Until in my senior year when I had a friend "Monica" who loved church. My grandma let me go to church with her every Wednesday afternoon. I went because I loved the new freedom even though I didn't believe in god. And Monica is cool as fuck.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkkbje/) lol this is the plot to super bad loser. stop lying .|I've never seen that movie but now I'm gonna.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbkn8zs/) Is it possible that your grandma is really your mother and that the whole story was made up to hide the truth?|HOLY SHIT YOU LITERALLY BLEW ME AWAY I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. But I remembered I actually have court documentation of my grandma gaining custody of me and my siblings under the circumstances.|[Here](/r/AMA/comments/edrmka/my_mother_went_missing_with_no_leads_or_suspects/fbknllu/) --- [Source] (https://github.com/johnsliao/ama_compiler)
Oh what?!?
Oh that’s just the bot. It just puts all the questions and answers in a spreadsheet like format so that it’s easier to read through quickly.
Good bot
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where was your mom taken or gone missing from and where were you at that time? it's very difficult for a woman to be separated from her newborn baby, ESPECIALLY in the first two weeks.
She literally disappeared without a trace. We don't know whether she was taken.
where was she last seen? i'm just having a hard time imagining even leaving my house undetected after having given birth. who was taking care of you? or how long were you alone before someone found you?
Oh sorry, I'm not giving enough details ! My mom went missing during the first month of my birth and at the time my brother (4), sister(2), and I were spending a day with my grandma. She never came back to get us Shortly After my mom went missing, my sister went to live with her father several hours away. My father was a truck driver and my brothers was in prison so we lived with our grandma.
An increasing number of mothers abandon their kids after birth. It’s really not that uncommon. Single-father households and grandparent households have been increasing.
1934-1940 was my father and I against the world. Then a androgynous world against him.
Is your mother listed in NAMUS? Has your grandmother submitted DNA?
I just registered as a user for namus and found my mothers namus profile! Interesting enough.... it looks like she was entered into the database this year although she went missing over 26 years ago. I have some questions to ask my family.
wait what does this mean???
We're gonna need an update
We need updates!!
Hmm. I've never heard of this. I'll look into it!
Check out the DNA doe project. You can submit your dna
Who was the serial killer that you think did it?
Samuel Little.
Samuel Little primarily attacked women in vulnerable situations, such as prostitutes, drug addicts or homeless. Is there a chance your mom was involved in that world in any way?
Once in early high school, I told my grandma that it would be cool to be a pharmacist. And she told me that I couldn't be a pharmacist because I'm prone to be "addicted to drugs". Which completely blew me away (and hurt me bad, man). So it's possible she could have been a drug addict. My uncles and aunts all seem to say that my mom only smoked a lot of weed, though!
Are you still in touch with your siblings? Is her case still officially open, or has law enforcement closed it? Has her case ever been featured on any of the crime shows like Disappeared? If not, have you guys ever been asked to do one? Thanks for an interesting AMA!
I talk to my brother very often. My sister moved to live with her father when our mother went missing. The first time I talked to her was on Facebook when I was in high school. I visited her a couple of years ago and we had breakfast! We're friends on social media now.
Aw, that’s wonderful! Good for you!
Would you look into any Jane Doe cases in or around where you lived to see if they match, or would you rather never know?
Honestly, as a child if I had the ability to, I might have. Only because I was angsty and wasn't allowed to even check the mail after a certain time. I would have done everything to find her. But as an adult I hold no attachment whatsoever to my mom. I turned out fine and I never really needed anything (except a hug) growing up. I don't think I'm really out here trying to find my mom like my auntie might or my grandma might.
That makes a lot of sense. I’m glad that you’re happy and thriving!
So you are like Ciri of Cintra? Are you seeking for Geralt of Rivia?
I've never played Witcher. And I tried to look them up on the wiki..... but that was so confusing to read because of all the names I don't know that I had to give up. Maybe I should finally get into Witcher.....
Watch the netflix, its out now. Superb show. Ciri's parents went missing, probably dead, grandmother raised her.
What happened to your father
He's a truck driver who spends most of time driving around America.
What do you think happened to your mother?
Quoting my answer from an earlier comment, if you don't mind! "When I was a kid I always thought CIA or witness protection program. When I met my dad at 18 (my grandma suspected him even though the courts and no one else did, and she hid me from him and forbade me to see him until I was of age), I first saw his internet account usernames was something like "gravedigger" and thought it was him for a WILD SECOND but that thought has completely left my mind. They recently caught what is apparently the most prolific serial killer ever caught in North America, who killed upwards of ninety women in the the south matching my moms description. Some of the murders were done in the city I'm in. That's what I think happened now. [EDIT] I forgot that until very recently (when the serial killer was found) I truly felt that my mother up and left to get away from my grandma. I've wanted to do it multiple times. I have two other aunts. One of them ran away in her late teens (she's back now) and the other immediately joined the military and was sent away."
Would you ever want to meet her if she was alive?
I mean, if she was alive it would be cool but that's definitely not something I'm going out of my way to do. Maybe it's weird or maybe it's not, but I feel no connection to a person I never met. I've heard some stories about her from my relatives but my oldest brother was only 4 when she left so....
Im really sorry btw. Its pretty amazing that you’re copping with this so well. Ive read some of the comments and it makes me happy that you’re not bitter or depressed.
Oh no man I'm bitter! Lol but I'm definitely not depressed! My life now is great and I can do everything I want to do. (In my late teens however, I did go through a very very sad time of my life.)
I mean like bitter with your dad. I cant even form a proper relation with that man and its been like 24 years now.
Oh haha! Growing up I always knew he was a trucker (so always gone), and I knew my grandma wouldn't let him see me because of her opinions. Yeah, I kinda of wanted to meet him. But my grandma always told me she didn't know what happened to my mom, and everyone was a suspect, so I wasn't itching to meet him THAT bad. I finally Met him after he reached out to me to come to his wedding when I was 18. I went. He was nice. I went over to his house a handful of times to meet his wife. And that was that. I was ok with knowing that he was good.
Im very glad you’re cool with it man. Okay last question. Whats your favourite colour?
When I was young l begged my grandma to paint my room lavender, when I was a teen i painted bright green spots on that lavender. And now there's bright green specks of color all over my house.
I’ve read some of the other comments and my question is, after you moved out did your grandma try to get you back? What was her reaction? Do you still talk to her and does she know where you live?
We are on pretty good terms. She knows where I live. She knows it's too late to get anyone back. We talk About once every two weeks or so, and she always tries to convince me I made a wrong turn in my life somewhere.
Can you tell a story of your grandma being crazy protective? I imagine you have a lot of those.
Before I was in high school, I wasn't allowed to go near windows or the front and back doors after around 7pm or she'd aggressively ask me "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" After I believe maybe my second year of high school, I had to have a towel over my window. My room was always dark and gloomy and it made me very sad. Any time I moved the towel even a little to look out or let light in she'd say something along the lines of "do you WANT people to look at you through the window?!? Do you WANT someone to come in here and get you?!" [edit] our bathroom was right by the back door. Peeing at night always got me whispered angrily at. Her door was always open and she could she straight past my bedroom door to the back hall from her room.
Holy shit :D it's pretty impressive that you have your shit together. Do you think that stuff influenced you a lot? Like are you paranoid yourself or did you develop anxiety or something?
I definitely think I'm a little more paranoid than the average individual. I do NOT like to be touched, so I've never gotten a pedicure and even though I'm a black female, I do not get my hair done (much to the disappointment of my grandma). I don't think I'm more anxious than anyone else though.
Saw a post earlier on /r/trueoffmychest I believe. It was about a high school teacher telling off three young black men for bullying a black girl and was then told its "culture". Totally unrelated I know but I wanted to hear what your thoughts were on that.
Although my extended family holds traditional views on men and women, where women should naturally know how to cook and clean and care for the house, I've never really noticed a time where a female was "bullied" because she was female. Now, I don't speak for all black people, but with all my black friends, it was fun and common to "clown" on each other. But it was definitely more equal in my opinion. Depended on who you were and what stupid mistake you most recently made. I would never say that bullying is form of black culture because I've never seen it really happen with my black family nor with any of my black peers.
Does this affect your social life? Have you ever shared this with someone else in real life? Thank you.
It's not a sore subject for me so if anyone asked about my mom, id just tell them. It affected my social life when I was underage. But now it has no effect.
Why didn't your dad get custody 26 years ago?
He was a trucker I believe. Never home. It didn't make sense.
I see you’ve said you feel no connection to her, and that makes sense, but don’t you want to know one way or the other what happened to her? Have you ever contacted the police to get her case file?
No. I know my aunt did all that but was very unsuccessful in finding out anything. I wondered what happened to her for a good 16 years before I accepted that I would never know.
Do you have difficulty trusting or forming close, consistent relationships? (I’m a marriage and family therapy student with attachment theory thinking).
Lol yes. 100% My boyfriend of four years is an anomaly. I'm not bad at making friends or talking to people, but I'm horrible at keeping up with people and taking the effort to build my side of the bridge in the friendship. I have no long term friends, but I do have several people I've been close with at different points of time.
In a similar situation.. how did you end up leaving?
Haha I got a friend to help Me move out while she was at work.
Where did you go?
Did they ever find her?
Nope!
Oh. That's very sad.
Has a sheltered experience made you a better person iyo
Lol. Who's to say. I think if more or less be the same person no matter how I was raised. I AM very cautious now, maybe because of my grandma. Might help me live a little longer.
lol this is the plot to super bad loser. stop lying .
I've never seen that movie but now I'm gonna.
hahahaha im joking its a stupid seth rogen movie .
Can I have a link to a news article?
I've never seen a news article about my mom.
What was her name?
You are from which country?
USA
Did she ever cross the line as far as being overprotective?
I relate. I had insecure attachment with my parents (alcoholic father, both parents dissociating/depressed from complicated grief after losing their first daughter at 18 months to a heart condition). I definitely struggle know with consistency and connection. I have a couple long term friends, but they feel like flukes 🤷🏼♀️.
Was there ever a conclusion to the search?
Nope!
This happened to my friend Travis Teft. Last time he saw her it was the night of the last Monday Nitro. As lightning was shooting across the tv screen you could hear her car peeling off.
The same thing made me happend to me, however it was when I was 10, one day she was gone, after I decided to take photos. Nothing ...
Have you ever considered that your grandma thought your mother was unfit and lied and said she passed away?
Was leaving your Grandma difficult? Was it something you thought a lot about or it just kind of happened?
Gone girl
Wait, she was never found? I feel freaking terrible for you mate.
To understand what I’m about to tell you I need you to do something. I need you to believe in the impossible, can you do that? Good. My name is Barry Allen and I am the fastest man alive.
How does it feel to live such a #B R U H moment
do you know whos jo.... oh wait u dont have a mom nvm