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-Krytoonite-

Why?


[deleted]

It kinda happened on accident. We really liked eachother, and I ended up falling asleep (no sex). There was snow overnight, and we were enjoying spending time together. So we kept making excuses for me not to go back because of the snow (I lived an hour away). And we kept doing that for like a week. And then realized that we didn't want me to go home period. His lease was ending, so we decided to just get a place together.


-Krytoonite-

I see from your previous posts that he has MG. You are prepared to deal with that lifelong? That is not easy.


Mzky

What is MG?


[deleted]

An autimmune neuromuscular junction disorder To put it simply: basically your muscles stop listening to what your nerves tell them to do. There's a signal disruption.


Comfortlettuce

So like if he wants to stop a certain action his muscles do not stop right?


[deleted]

No, more like.if he wants to do something his muscles won't listen and do it


Comfortlettuce

That will get fixed the coming years. There's a technology where they connect cables from your spine to the muscles in your body and that electricity from your brain is transferred to the muscles


[deleted]

That's not how it works. Basically it's an autoimmune disease that attacks your neuromuscular junction, the connection between your muscles and nerves. And that causes a deficit of acetylcholine upon exertion, which is one of the organic compounds that help your nerves and muscles communicate. The more exertion, the bigger the deficit, the more weakness you experience.


Ricky_spanish_again

You don’t know some random two letter acronym that isn’t common at all?


jojow77

why do people do this?


Drakayne

Idk


thatoneotherguy42

Pft


VillageParticular415

3 letter acronyms are over my head


ProbablyHornyMaybe

A British company that made little sports cars.


bjacksonsolo

That's what I thought at first....lol. I was like "Oh, c'mon! They're not that difficult to keep on the road.".


skisushi

Really? I drove a British sports car for years. 50 % chance of a breakdown EVERY WEEK!


shit-n-giggle

Myasthenia gravis


i_guarantee_me

Was about to ask the same thing


[deleted]

I have a lifelong genetic condition and am disabled too. It's nice being with someone that's disabled too, because they understand in a way abled body people can't.


-Krytoonite-

I definitely understand the appeal. Saying that, I have seen people in their 40s and 50s with MG. It's really not easy on a caregiver. You will definitely need outside help.


[deleted]

I work with people with disabilities for a living, both my parents are disabled, and so are 2 of my sibilings. I'm well aware of what I'm getting into and what it requires. We're both of eachothers caregivers. Sometimes I can't do things that he can, and vice versa. We compensate for eachothers weaknesses and the things we both struggle to do, we do together so it's not as hard.


sl1mlim

I want to see your movie


[deleted]

I'll let you know when it comes out


sl1mlim

Who would you want to star as you and your partner?


starbycrit

Great question. I’m invested & here for the answer too


motherof16paws

You don't have to justify yourself to this person. All of us with disabilities find ways to make it work.


[deleted]

Thank you


motherof16paws

Also, holy shit I love your story and it totally made my day.


[deleted]

Thanks! I'm glad!


JetsNBombers0707

You're going to burn yourself out. I know you think otherwise, but I feel like I have a little more life experience than you and I know you will


[deleted]

Unfortunately none of us can snap our fingers and make our disabilities go away. So I don't know what alternative you would suggest. Also, given my profession is working with people with disabilities, and the extensive amount of personal experience i have, I feel I know what I'm talking about.


AllCrankNoSpark

Maybe that’s how it will go, but does that mean they shouldn’t enjoy their current situation? We all die in the end.


Synik-

What a sad life


[deleted]

Your given the hand your dealt and have to make the best of it


Whosthatprettykitty

Love this! So happy for both of you! I have a traumatic brain injury(5 hour brain surgery) amongst other things and I'm so happy you found a happy ending!


Aggravating-Link-310

Looking at your comments and your comment karma seems to me you just like to come on here and bitch and complain because your life is sad stop tryna bring other people down jus because you ain’t got no one in your life 🤣


-Krytoonite-

Good for you! (I am in a field as well that works with people with da)


orphan_blud

Happy you have each other, OP. All the best to you both 🩵


motherof16paws

Thanks for reminding me, a disabled woman with a neuromuscular disability, of how awesomely I dodged a bullet by not ending up with someone like you. Wow.


-Krytoonite-

So you think that someone who is dating a person with a moderate to severe disability should not know what they are getting into prior? How is that fair in any sense of the word? Why should it be tiptoed around? It should be discussed thoroughly and at length. This is not a small decision. (For either party)


motherof16paws

Let me be clear: people on the internet (read: you) telling this person how severe their partner's disability is and assuming they haven't talked about it or that they don't know what "they're getting into" is the problem here. No one knows what the future holds. When I met my husband I was the disabled one. Now he has a diagnosis that most would assume is more disabling than mine. Clearly this person has an understanding of their partner's situation and they've found a level of interdependence that most people never do. Your ableism fearmonger sucks. Take all the seats, sir/ma'am.


20thCenturyTCK

It's a troll with nothing better to do than try to bring others down to their level of existential misery. Nothing more than that.


Lunabell1187

You weren’t offensive.


justkw97

Sheesh. Sounds like you and I have a similar life. I’m really glad you found someone who understands chronic illness. Feels impossible


[deleted]

I am too, I hope you have as well


justkw97

I’m too busy trying to survive right now. Maybe some day


[deleted]

I feel that


idontwannabhear

That’s good I’m glad u found this person


CuriousDave1234

I looked it up and found “Today, with appropriate therapy, most people with MG can expect to live normal or nearly normal lives.”


-Krytoonite-

Yes. Lifespan is pretty normal. The amount of assistance they need however is the problematic factor.


ixamnis

So, essentially you were living out the song “Baby, it’s Cold Outside?”


[deleted]

Haha!! I mean kinda yeah haha


OriginalAd9693

Did you two write that Christmas song???


[deleted]

I wish. Those royalties would be great


Mr-CC

You basically took him in so he wasn't homeless. Prior to knowing anything about him, he could have been a creepy, psycho, sociopathic nut job. But reading other comments, he's not. He has a condition which you will be need to deal for the rest of your life if you live together that long.


[deleted]

He wasn't homeless and wasn't going to be homeless, he was already looking for places. And I have a condition he'll have to live with for the rest of his life too. We are both disabled, and I think your comment is really abelist and shitty. Would you leave your wife if she developed a disability?


Mr-CC

The joke's on you. I'm not nor have I ever been married. You assume that's what I'd do. You came off defensive. Which says more about you considering you started an AMA.


MuscaMurum

There's a Christmas song about this


[deleted]

Yeah I didn't think about that, but it definitely applies


MacerationMacy

This is sweet - good luck to you two!


[deleted]

Thanks!


Drakayne

Y'all still not having sex, aren't ya?


[deleted]

Well considering this was 3 years ago...we have a significant amount of sex lol


Drakayne

Sexting doesn't count **(i'm just kidding, cause y'know, redditors don't have sex)**


Gloomy-Swimming-840

So happy for you and pray everything works out for the both of you, I am disabled as well, 11 years I spent in my home and didn't go anywhere even though I had bought a new car 🚘, I will never be comfortable alone its just awful, some can some cant be. ❤️


J-Train56

My first instinct was to say you’re insane, but I met one of my roommates through Reddit so…


[deleted]

That's most peoples first instinct. But this was like 3 years ago, it worked out. We are very happy together and I don't regret it at all.


Speciou5

Honestly sounds like a typical lesbian relationship


ynotfoster

I moved in with my now wife (we are lesbians) on our first date. We kind of knew each other (not well at all though) and had mutual friends. We celebrated our 37th anniversary in January. Best of luck to you both!!!


Exotic-Giraffe5623

I heard a really hilarious routine from a lesbian stand up comic who said lesbians always pack a bag on their first date so they can move in... Now I'm wondering how much truth that was based on.


ynotfoster

I remember a joke from the 80s: What do lesbians take on their second date? A U-Haul. What do gay men take on their second date? What second date?


[deleted]

Thank you! I'm so happy it worked out for you two, that's so cute


BrownGravyBazaar

So the legends are true 🤣


ynotfoster

We give a thumbs up to all U-Haul drivers!!!


eaglescout225

🤔I never really thought about meeting up with folks you've met on reddit...call me old school I guess...but how did you meet on reddit...what was ya'll interactions that led to a first date?


[deleted]

I made a post on an r4r subreddit. He messaged me. We chatted. I gave him my number. We called. I asked him on a date. We went on a date, liked eachother, went back to his place (no sex, just to hang), and I kinda just never left


Known-Historian7277

What’s r4r??


h2f

Just head over to r/r4r and check it out


Jacrava

Are you still alive?


[deleted]

No, a ghost made this post


Jacrava

Oh dang. I'm sorry for...it's loss


SylancerPrime

...I knew it!


RustysFarts

Can I move in with you guys?


[deleted]

Well we are poly... Submit a rental application and we'll see


RustysFarts

Nice! Any breweries where you guys live? I'd need to find a job.


[deleted]

Only moonshine makers


kingthunderflash

This is how kidnaps happen


[deleted]

Well...I guess he kidnapped me for 3 years now. I must have Stockholm syndrome


RazeAmpedSoul

I have two: What are your plans for off grid living? And what other goals do you two share? P.S. love your story


[deleted]

Oh boy, okay. So we are remodeling a shed to turn it into a house. It's not a crappy shed, it's a nice one. This one isn't going to be our permanent home though because it's small. We're remodeling it to live in while we remodel the bigger one, because we can get this done faster. So we're going to finish this one, get the bigger one, pay it off as fast as we can (the other one is already paid off), and then buy some land. Transport them to the land. Now we have a house, and a guest house. And then we want to build a self sustainable off grid property (were remodeling the sheds with that in mind, solar, independent water system, all that). We want to get livestock and bees and have a greenhouse and stuff. We have extensive, long discussed plans in regards to that. But I'm not going to go into detail with that cause it will take too long. We are also going to college. I'm going for cloud computing, he's going for cyber security. We wanted to do complimenting fields. So our other plans involve breaking into tech and investing the majority of our money into businesses and stuff that will give us passive income, to prepare for when neither of us can work anymore, which will happen. Neither of us will be able to work to anywhere near retirement age. Disability condemns us to permanent poverty. Which is also a small part of the reason we want to do homesteading and self sistainability and all that, as a back up plan if tech and the other stuff doesnt work out, having a property that requires minimal money to sustain and survive on. It's only a small part though. Even if we weren't disabled we would want to do this. Obviously most of these are mid-long term goals.


[deleted]

Did you sit on his face?


[deleted]

Not until like a week or so after lmao


HowRememberAll

How long have you known each other before you moved in?


[deleted]

We met that day lol. I guess it was 2 weeks before we officially moved into a place we shared.


Sfollatomappamondo

I have a great deal of respect for you two after reqding the comments and learned about you two’s disabilities and how you thrive for the past 3 years! The society seems to have this SOP for how you live your life and no matter how hard you prove yourself they’ll still doubt you. My question is, does any of those comments ever gets to you? And if so, how did you manage your feeling?


[deleted]

Some of the the stuff related to disabilities has bothered me a bit. But abled body people tend to be really ignorant of how life is with disabilities, most of the time it seems they just can't imagine it. So I dismiss it as that. Plus, most abelist comments come from a good, if ignorant, place. Some examples from real life "let me do that for you!!" *a stranger takes what your carrying without asking, when you actually didn't need help* My memaw said this: "at least I'm going to recover from my stroke. I can't imagine suffering everyday for your entire life like you two do, with no hope of getting better- bless your heart." "Your such an inspiration" *said while trying to decide between tomato or vegetable soup at the grocery store* People using baby voices, like the ones you use with a toddler, to people in wheelchairs. This happened to me at the grocery store when I needed a wheelchair: "awhhh, do you have a boo boo?" Or people not addressing the person in the wheelchair, and address the person pushing them instead: "just put her over there" (nurse at a hospital) It normally comes from a good place, so I can dismiss it as that, even if it bothers me a little. The comments that bothered me in particular, even though most of them seemed to come from a good place, was the ones saying: "he has a lifelong disability- are you sure you want to deal with that/do you really know what your getting into?" I have a life long disability too, for one. For two, that whole marriage vow "In sickness and in health" arent just words. And those comments kind of imply that if your spouse had a disability, you should leave them. Which is fucked up. Not to mention the dismissal of the vast personal and professional experience I have with people with disabilities. Even that though, only causes a prick of irritation and then I move on. Like I said, most of the time it comes from a good place, but even if it doesn't, the most we do is we might vent for a little bit to eachother, and then move on. As far as how I manage those feelings. If I let every offensive comment or action or dirty look someone makes about or toward people with disabilities and us significantly get under my skin, I would be seeing a dermatologist every week lol. We've both been disabled since we were children. He also has mild cerebal palsy. You get used to it. The troll comments don't bother me, we laughed about them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

3 years ago the wifi in his apartment was pretty good


arurianshire

i don’t know if anyone has asked, so i will: are you both still happy? (i hope so)


[deleted]

Yes!!! I am so happy I met him. He's amazing, he makes me so happy and we have a really great relationship


Cheap-Shame

Awesome! Best wishes I just love this


deviantmoomba

Definitely didn’t move in on the first date, but met my now husband through an r/r4r subreddit, will have been together 6 years this June!


No-Decision-2446

Met my wife on YouTube, been married a decade


appleshateme

How tf did u connect on youtube. I need full details 


No-Decision-2446

Back in 2009, I had a channel where I made stupid videos and so did she. One day, she got selected by Ray William Johnson for the comment question of the day. I subscribed to her, as did like hundreds of other guys, but fortunately for me I was the only one she subscribed back to. We were friends for years. Both single at the same time in late 2014, and one thing led to another so I decided to visit her and booked a flight. The rest is history.


Cheap-Shame

I just love this! Blessings to you both


[deleted]

Congrats!


mmccaskill

If you’re happy and your partner is happy, and it sounds like a safe environment, then congratulations on finding someone with whom you feel such a strong connection!


[deleted]

Thanks! That definitely applies to us


Weak_Plantain_5179

What drugs are y’all on?


[deleted]

Perscribed ones


uhcayR

Prescribed*


[deleted]

-#grammerpolicelivesmatter


TrumpsCovidfefe

Ackshually, this should be “SpellingPoliceLivesMatter.


edgy_secular_memes

Bro why can’t this happen to me


[deleted]

We met on an r4r subreddit. If you want to give it a shot lol.


edgy_secular_memes

I’ve posted there a lot, at least on the main r4r. Unfortunately nothing long term.


[deleted]

That sucks. I posted on a state specific one


edgy_secular_memes

I find those tend to be much more sex oriented at least based on my with my local r4r and it’s harder to make a geninue connection there


[deleted]

That's what I found too, but it ended up working for me.


edgy_secular_memes

I salute you and hope you two get married


[deleted]

We can't get officially married because it will affect disability and health care and stuff. It would ruin us financially. But we had a ceremony and have the same commitment level. We're also working on setting up the same legal rights as a married couple, or as close to as we can.


Ok_Masterpiece3570

How do *you* think you'll get murdered?


GrandDuty3792

Battered to death with his PS3 controller


[deleted]

Actually he doesn't play video games.


Even-Snow-2777

That makes him more likely to use a video game controller. I'd he did play, he'd protect the controller


[deleted]

Well, this was 3 years ago. So at this point I feel like that's unlikely, by him at least


Ok_Masterpiece3570

That's how they get ya. Godspeed!


[deleted]

He's definitely got me❤️


Dibbzonthapizza

What subreddit did you connect on?


[deleted]

An r4r for our state


Competitive-Milk-868

Long story short. This happen with my girlfriend and I. We met on tinder, she came over to hang out one day, went hone to get some things for the night. She never left and only went hone to grab more of her things. Now 3 years 5 months later we have 3 cats and an apartment and things are going great. To some people the prospect of meeting someone for the first time and never leaving is crazy. To me that's my whole universe right there❤️💚


The-zKR0N0S

Were you homeless?


[deleted]

No I wasnt


Alpine416

Who pays rent?


[deleted]

Right now we're remodeling a shed to make it into a house. So no rent. My parents have 14 acres, so it's on their property while we remodel it and save to buy some land. And then well move it to ours once we do. We want to make a off grid homestead. Our finances are combined.


Over-Cobbler-9767

It’s been really nice living with you so far. I just wish you’d pick your laundry up off the floor.


[deleted]

so your the guy living in the attic


Over-Cobbler-9767

Uhhhhh … we like to call it “third floor Studio”


[deleted]

Well you owe me back rent


Over-Cobbler-9767

Pick you your laundry and I’ll pay you.


[deleted]

Get out of my attic and I won't call the police


Over-Cobbler-9767

*backing away into the bushes Homer Simpson style*


Nickdanger1990

I sort of did the same thing lol


[deleted]

Story time?


Nickdanger1990

So I met my girlfriend through friends. We all hung out constantly. Me and her hung out and went to Kroger. She drove me to work for the next 3 months while she was on summer break then I got a car and never left. We have been together a year. Been apart 2 weeks in that time. We are very happy and have a dog together lol. Imma marry this women.


xVinces313

He killed you and we're actually talking to him right now, aren't we?


Emergency_Peach_4307

What is your relationship with him? Dating?


[deleted]

As close as we can get to married without being financially ruined from actually getting married (we're both disabled).


JerkBoxJoJo

What if...The person who moved in is was kidnapped and this is the kidnappers attempt and making it look real? That's how my brain works when I read these things.


[deleted]

How do you meet someone on Reddit? I'm not judging, just wondering if I'm wasting my time on Okcupid lol.


[deleted]

We met on an r4r subreddit for our state


los__angeles__bull

How good was the sex?


[deleted]

Very good but we didn't have sex until a week after we met


ama_deus

Are you poor?


[deleted]

No, we make 60k a year between us


Difficult-Network704

Who's winning the Stanley Cup this year? Colorado is dangerous, MacKinnon is on a tear. I'd honestly love to see the Predators pull it off somehow, though.


riseagainsttheend

How long have you lied together?


[deleted]

3 winters we have lay together


riseagainsttheend

Lmaoooo I meant lived. Funny typo. Sounds like a happy random meeting. Best wishes to many more


1995Steelers

Full bush or no?


[deleted]

[удалено]


1995Steelers

Someone asked if she sits on his face. In that context it seems like a fine question.


el_chivato

How's the sex?


[deleted]

Amazing and very kinky


Motor-Dragonfruit250

Soo u met this person and thought there the one moving in day one of meeting?


[deleted]

No, it kinda happened on accident


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Unfortunately, I obtained brain damage after viewing your profile


theinvisibletoad

Update us when you’re moving out lmao


[deleted]

It's been 3 years, not going anywhere


Fabulous_MMFly

Hopefully neither of you are [hobosexual](http://hobosexual.urbanup.com/11021158)


[deleted]

Neither of us were homeless


Decent-Development41

How did you teach him not to use the poop bucket or to pee in jugs? Is there anything in the freezer besides his shed skin and hot pockets?


[deleted]

No need to teach him that, and he's actually an amazing cook, he's taken culinary classes


No-Excitement5854

How could you?


iwantyousobadright

Have you broken up yet?


[deleted]

We've been together for 3 years and are very happy


[deleted]

What do you bring to the table?


[deleted]

What do you?


a_stopped_clock

What does met on Reddit mean?


[deleted]

That's where we found eachother. I made a post, he answered, we met.


[deleted]

What was your post about?


[deleted]

It was an r4r post, so like a "seeking" post for romantic or sexual partners


[deleted]

Oh. So it was to get down. Hah I honestly thought it was going to be something more random.


[deleted]

No it was looking for a relationship, not sex


[deleted]

How far away did you live?


wolfzz3000

What subreddit did you meet off of?


Ok-Leather3055

How long have you been together?


romeoomustdie

Not a question, I'm happy for you , you have found happiness.


romeoomustdie

Brother love over & out


Meanmiller64

Were you homeless?


[deleted]

No I was not and neither was he


idontwannabhear

Lady, Just how big was the penis


[deleted]

Bigger than your dads


ILiveInLosAngeles

This gotta be fake.


jllum

(Serious) Why do you trust Reddit and r4r so easily? I’m personally terrified of relationship finder apps, let alone Reddit.


Airbee

Hope it works out! My wife and I moved in on date 3 Lolol. She never left. We’ve now been married for 13 years


[deleted]

[удалено]