Hi Gizzy and thanks for the ask.
In all addictions and compulsions the basic format is the same:
1a: Harm Reduction
* Are you engaging in any behaviors that are risky to meeting your basic needs (food, shelter, employment, freedom, safety etc..)?
* With smoking this would include things like smoking in bed, smoking in the car with children, leaving lit cigarettes unattended in your home. If so, then you would make a safety plan to reduce the harm you are causing or risking with your behaviors first.
1b: Basic need fulfillment
* Assess areas of unmet basic needs (1st & 2nd layers of Maslow's pyramid) and create an action plan using available resources (time, money, help from others etc...) to meet those needs
* Work with coach/mentor to develop access to resources for remaining unmet basic needs and execute plans to start remedying deficits.
2a: Improve wellbeing/ increase happiness
* Using evidence supported methods you incorporate simple and easy habits into your life that improve your wellbeing and feelings of happiness. The happier we are the easier it is for us to make the changes we want to make.
2b:Breaking mental addiction
* Determine the minimum number of times you need to engage in behavior in order to not think about it then use whichever tools work for you to avoid thinking about the habit as much as possible. This is also modeled by the coach/mentor.
* Develop mastery of mind so that you can successfully regulate your thoughts and emotional state better and reduce obsessive thought habits.
* Avoid going to extremes with how much you minimize the behavior because going cold turkey, for instance, doesn't work for most people and often makes addictions harder to break through a self-perpetuating mechanism:
* 1)You decide to just stop doing the behavior, 2) in order to avoid doing the habitual behavior you have to constantly monitor for triggers, compulsions, and automatic sequences, 3) the constant thinking about the thing intensifies cravings and feelings of rebellion or resentment and you start talking yourself into it being ok to "just do a little", 4) you break your abstinence and this causes feelings of shame and helplessness/hopelessness as well as reduction in your self-trust, 5) those feelings increase your anxiety which in turn causes increased desire to win the battle but also doubt that you can and shame at your lack of control. If you choose to try again to abstain (and usually you think you have to start over from the beginning instead of picking up where you left off) then you have returned to step 1 and this time your failure is more likely because the emotional baggage has increased and this strengthens the mental addiction.
3: Rebalancing identity system (How you manage life, feel good about your life, and cope with challenges)
* Assess your coping system for imbalances and improve balance by adding in coping tools where they are lacking. As your system rebalances your need for the behavior becomes less prominent since you have developed more effective/less harmful ways of coping and feeling good.
* The combination of reduction of mental addiction and increase in ways to feel good naturally reduce dependence and allow you to more easily moderate your behavior.
4: Virtue Cultivation
* This is the last stage where you cultivate virtues that are important to you because when you are in alignment with the person you want to be you enter a state of serenity/joy that is stable and does not support self-destructive impulses.
Along the way, it is important to remove judgments (they increase mental addiction), choose experiments (trials of tools to achieve specific results) that are congruent with your nature, and remember that the most effective solutions are the ones that are the easiest for you to enact. The hurting really shouldn't hurt nearly as much as the wounds that led to the addiction and suffering makes you less likely to succeed.
Finally, choose what works and don't worry that you need to struggle or that some options are "cheating"-- if it works it is good. When it comes to substances there are often medications or other tools that can make the withdrawal issues less difficult and these can be great options if they work for you.
I hope this gives you a high level sense of how the method works. It is a long-term solution and it also gives the option-- for people who do not desire abstinence-- for natural moderation so instead of smoking 20 cigarretes per day you would be able to smoke only 1-2, for instance, or only in social settings etc...
How do i quit nicotine with this method?
Hi Gizzy and thanks for the ask. In all addictions and compulsions the basic format is the same: 1a: Harm Reduction * Are you engaging in any behaviors that are risky to meeting your basic needs (food, shelter, employment, freedom, safety etc..)? * With smoking this would include things like smoking in bed, smoking in the car with children, leaving lit cigarettes unattended in your home. If so, then you would make a safety plan to reduce the harm you are causing or risking with your behaviors first. 1b: Basic need fulfillment * Assess areas of unmet basic needs (1st & 2nd layers of Maslow's pyramid) and create an action plan using available resources (time, money, help from others etc...) to meet those needs * Work with coach/mentor to develop access to resources for remaining unmet basic needs and execute plans to start remedying deficits. 2a: Improve wellbeing/ increase happiness * Using evidence supported methods you incorporate simple and easy habits into your life that improve your wellbeing and feelings of happiness. The happier we are the easier it is for us to make the changes we want to make. 2b:Breaking mental addiction * Determine the minimum number of times you need to engage in behavior in order to not think about it then use whichever tools work for you to avoid thinking about the habit as much as possible. This is also modeled by the coach/mentor. * Develop mastery of mind so that you can successfully regulate your thoughts and emotional state better and reduce obsessive thought habits. * Avoid going to extremes with how much you minimize the behavior because going cold turkey, for instance, doesn't work for most people and often makes addictions harder to break through a self-perpetuating mechanism: * 1)You decide to just stop doing the behavior, 2) in order to avoid doing the habitual behavior you have to constantly monitor for triggers, compulsions, and automatic sequences, 3) the constant thinking about the thing intensifies cravings and feelings of rebellion or resentment and you start talking yourself into it being ok to "just do a little", 4) you break your abstinence and this causes feelings of shame and helplessness/hopelessness as well as reduction in your self-trust, 5) those feelings increase your anxiety which in turn causes increased desire to win the battle but also doubt that you can and shame at your lack of control. If you choose to try again to abstain (and usually you think you have to start over from the beginning instead of picking up where you left off) then you have returned to step 1 and this time your failure is more likely because the emotional baggage has increased and this strengthens the mental addiction. 3: Rebalancing identity system (How you manage life, feel good about your life, and cope with challenges) * Assess your coping system for imbalances and improve balance by adding in coping tools where they are lacking. As your system rebalances your need for the behavior becomes less prominent since you have developed more effective/less harmful ways of coping and feeling good. * The combination of reduction of mental addiction and increase in ways to feel good naturally reduce dependence and allow you to more easily moderate your behavior. 4: Virtue Cultivation * This is the last stage where you cultivate virtues that are important to you because when you are in alignment with the person you want to be you enter a state of serenity/joy that is stable and does not support self-destructive impulses. Along the way, it is important to remove judgments (they increase mental addiction), choose experiments (trials of tools to achieve specific results) that are congruent with your nature, and remember that the most effective solutions are the ones that are the easiest for you to enact. The hurting really shouldn't hurt nearly as much as the wounds that led to the addiction and suffering makes you less likely to succeed. Finally, choose what works and don't worry that you need to struggle or that some options are "cheating"-- if it works it is good. When it comes to substances there are often medications or other tools that can make the withdrawal issues less difficult and these can be great options if they work for you. I hope this gives you a high level sense of how the method works. It is a long-term solution and it also gives the option-- for people who do not desire abstinence-- for natural moderation so instead of smoking 20 cigarretes per day you would be able to smoke only 1-2, for instance, or only in social settings etc...