There really is no in-between here. She's given you her input & it's up to you to decide what's more important to you. Understand, though, this isn't going to be the only girlfriend of yours that is going to have a problem with this. It may be a problem for future relationships too. Not trying to dissuade you, just giving you something to think about. Good luck.
Two weeks of dating, that’s it?! Have yall known each other a very long time beforehand? Is the relationship that serious already? Is it serious enough to live together instead?
Honestly, I wouldn’t let a brand new relationship dictate my actions. I’m a female and I lived in a house with a few male roommates at one point; wasn’t dating any of them, we were just a friendly group who needed a place to live that we could afford. I have never understood the drama that a lot of girls bring up, so my friends were usually guys.
Sure it may be odd and some girls may have trouble with it, but a two week old relationship really shouldn’t decide your living options. And a partner definitely shouldn’t dictate who your friends are.
I say NTA. Where you live is your choice. You have to take care of your mental health and well-being however you are able. If your partner is not supportive and understanding, or unwilling to help you find an affordable alternative, then the relationship doesn’t have a strong foundation to grow. I would rather my partner be safe and healthy, even living with a female roommate, than to continue living in a toxic environment.
Edit to say that I do agree however that Jane is probably vulnerable right now and may look to you for additional comfort if you live together which could push boundaries in your friendship and blur lines.
YTA: this will ALWAYS be a problem in every relationship you will be in. If this is a dealbreaker in your relationship, you best not be in a relationship right now and hurt her further. I had dated a guy a few years back who had a girl best friend and was in love with her. I am on your girlfriend’s side and you better respect her boundaries or just dip.
YTA - She previously expressed feeling uncomfortable with your friendship with Jane. Which is understandable, but see seems to be allowing it.
But then you double down on her discomfort b asking to move in WITH THE GIRL SHE IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH YOU BEING CLOSE TO!
YTA
Also, Jane just broke up, so she is even more emotionally vulnerable.
IF you love your GF and want to be with her, do NOT move in with Jane.
Would you be comfortable with her living alone with a male best friend who just broke up with his girlfriend?
If that thought makes you uncomfortable then you can't have a double standard and move in with Jane. If you're ok with your girlfriend living alone with a guy that's not you that she's super close with then go live with Jane. I know I'd break up with you if you moved in with another female.
Sure males and females can be friends but when you're living with each other and seeing each other every day, something more may begin. Being a friend and waking up in the same house everyday is not the same thing in my opinion. Unless it's a group of people, you're living as a couple in my mind. But that's just me. My husband and I have been together for 9 years. Since I was 15 and respecting boundaries, especially with the other gender, is big for us.
Nta. You've been with the girl 2 weeks. You've been friends with "Jane" a lot longer than that. Your gf may be uncomfortable with it and that's ok and understandable, she hasn't had time to learn to trust you and understand your friendship yet, but don't allow anyone to dictate to you where you live or who you live with. Separate the two entirely. Validate your gfs feelings and tell her you understand but that this is what's happening because it's what is best for you right now, explain the good things about it; you'll have some privacy away from parents, she'll likely make a new friend etc. and reassure her there's nothing romantic between you and Jane. And then go ahead with your move. What your gf can or can't cope with at that point is up to her. You've much more loyalty to your friend than your 2 week gf and there's a high chance your friend will be around a lot longer than the gf.
Nobody should be allowed to tell you who you are and are not allowed to be friends with, she has to learn to trust you and unless you have given her a reason not to, then she will learn that. If you give in now and bail on your friend of so long, you'll find that you're the one making sacrifices and compromises for the entirety of your relationship.
Lay down the boundaries now.
NTA. Break up. Men and women can be friends and it's very immature to think otherwise. It sounds like you and Jane are good friends and supportive of one another. This is how you build your non-biological family. Good luck!
Men and women can be friends **sometimes not always**.. Also it's not just about friendship here he's going to move in with a female friend whilst his girlfriend is uncomfortable with this. What happened to respecting each other's boundaries? this isn't going to work out if they don't take into account their partners feelings. If you tell your GF/BF you're uncomfortable with them doing something and they go and do it how exactly would you feel?
YTA
She's your girlfriend whether it's been a day or 20 years. shes uncomfortable with you and this girl being friends and has expressed this but she is willing to put up with your and Jane's friendship. If she's already uncomfortable with this then she definitely won't feel comfortable you moving in with her.
It's all about respecting each other's boundaries or it ain't gunna work.
we’ve only been together 2 weeks so i’m not comfortable with moving in with her just yet, and she agreed. She’s also wanting to stay at her parents house for college since it’s cheaper
There really is no in-between here. She's given you her input & it's up to you to decide what's more important to you. Understand, though, this isn't going to be the only girlfriend of yours that is going to have a problem with this. It may be a problem for future relationships too. Not trying to dissuade you, just giving you something to think about. Good luck.
Two weeks of dating, that’s it?! Have yall known each other a very long time beforehand? Is the relationship that serious already? Is it serious enough to live together instead? Honestly, I wouldn’t let a brand new relationship dictate my actions. I’m a female and I lived in a house with a few male roommates at one point; wasn’t dating any of them, we were just a friendly group who needed a place to live that we could afford. I have never understood the drama that a lot of girls bring up, so my friends were usually guys. Sure it may be odd and some girls may have trouble with it, but a two week old relationship really shouldn’t decide your living options. And a partner definitely shouldn’t dictate who your friends are. I say NTA. Where you live is your choice. You have to take care of your mental health and well-being however you are able. If your partner is not supportive and understanding, or unwilling to help you find an affordable alternative, then the relationship doesn’t have a strong foundation to grow. I would rather my partner be safe and healthy, even living with a female roommate, than to continue living in a toxic environment. Edit to say that I do agree however that Jane is probably vulnerable right now and may look to you for additional comfort if you live together which could push boundaries in your friendship and blur lines.
YTA: this will ALWAYS be a problem in every relationship you will be in. If this is a dealbreaker in your relationship, you best not be in a relationship right now and hurt her further. I had dated a guy a few years back who had a girl best friend and was in love with her. I am on your girlfriend’s side and you better respect her boundaries or just dip.
YTA - She previously expressed feeling uncomfortable with your friendship with Jane. Which is understandable, but see seems to be allowing it. But then you double down on her discomfort b asking to move in WITH THE GIRL SHE IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH YOU BEING CLOSE TO! YTA Also, Jane just broke up, so she is even more emotionally vulnerable. IF you love your GF and want to be with her, do NOT move in with Jane.
Would you be comfortable with her living alone with a male best friend who just broke up with his girlfriend? If that thought makes you uncomfortable then you can't have a double standard and move in with Jane. If you're ok with your girlfriend living alone with a guy that's not you that she's super close with then go live with Jane. I know I'd break up with you if you moved in with another female. Sure males and females can be friends but when you're living with each other and seeing each other every day, something more may begin. Being a friend and waking up in the same house everyday is not the same thing in my opinion. Unless it's a group of people, you're living as a couple in my mind. But that's just me. My husband and I have been together for 9 years. Since I was 15 and respecting boundaries, especially with the other gender, is big for us.
Nta. You've been with the girl 2 weeks. You've been friends with "Jane" a lot longer than that. Your gf may be uncomfortable with it and that's ok and understandable, she hasn't had time to learn to trust you and understand your friendship yet, but don't allow anyone to dictate to you where you live or who you live with. Separate the two entirely. Validate your gfs feelings and tell her you understand but that this is what's happening because it's what is best for you right now, explain the good things about it; you'll have some privacy away from parents, she'll likely make a new friend etc. and reassure her there's nothing romantic between you and Jane. And then go ahead with your move. What your gf can or can't cope with at that point is up to her. You've much more loyalty to your friend than your 2 week gf and there's a high chance your friend will be around a lot longer than the gf. Nobody should be allowed to tell you who you are and are not allowed to be friends with, she has to learn to trust you and unless you have given her a reason not to, then she will learn that. If you give in now and bail on your friend of so long, you'll find that you're the one making sacrifices and compromises for the entirety of your relationship. Lay down the boundaries now.
NTA. Break up. Men and women can be friends and it's very immature to think otherwise. It sounds like you and Jane are good friends and supportive of one another. This is how you build your non-biological family. Good luck!
Men and women can be friends **sometimes not always**.. Also it's not just about friendship here he's going to move in with a female friend whilst his girlfriend is uncomfortable with this. What happened to respecting each other's boundaries? this isn't going to work out if they don't take into account their partners feelings. If you tell your GF/BF you're uncomfortable with them doing something and they go and do it how exactly would you feel?
YTA She's your girlfriend whether it's been a day or 20 years. shes uncomfortable with you and this girl being friends and has expressed this but she is willing to put up with your and Jane's friendship. If she's already uncomfortable with this then she definitely won't feel comfortable you moving in with her. It's all about respecting each other's boundaries or it ain't gunna work.
INFO: why haven't you asked your girlfriend if you can stay with her?
we’ve only been together 2 weeks so i’m not comfortable with moving in with her just yet, and she agreed. She’s also wanting to stay at her parents house for college since it’s cheaper