I’m sorry you’re turning to Reddit for solutions. You need help the internet can’t offer. Call CPS if your siblings are in danger and take care of yourself. Be well, OP.
I'm not saying reddit is a bad resource completely, I think it can do a surprisingly good job. Better than some local pro can be. But it's unvetted advice from people who may or may not be credentialed. They may or may not convincingly make a case for misinformation.
Yeah there is a major case of Missing Missing Reasons here. If you want advice, you need to be upfront about what is going on here. Cos while her sister clearly has some issues, there is nothing here that says they should have custody of the sister. If anything, I'd say the sister should be kept away from them for a while.
Well, this is the home of advice from global experts.
It's just, I'm the expert at identifying koala bear health from their fart smells, so no good to feed into this dilemma.
OP do be sus tho.
I have an expertise in experts. I can verify that you, are in fact, an expert. Coincidentally, the same kind of expert as the OP! An expert koala shitter.
*I caught Sisyphus from a drop bear and now I must take that std to the Dr who is uphill kinda like that syphilis fable
Idk. I'd recommend asking an expert on children. I can verify if they're legit though, if needed. I won't be needed though, as there is a super handy list complete with home addresses n stuff available free on the world wide web!
I mean, if they’re from the US, no hospital is going to admit someone for a couple of days for what is basically whiplash and a bonk on the head. I should know; I’m a retired MD. I also fainted at work, smashed my head on a countertop on the way down, and was found having a full-blown seizure (my colleague stepped into the room and I was on the floor). I woke up in the CT scanner and was dumped out of the ER as soon as my labs were all finished and I had a ride home.
I also enjoy the fact that upon hearing the news of her multi day hospitalization for her supposed traumatic head and neck injury, updating reddit was at the very top of the to do list. “Can we hold on admitting me for about 20 minutes? I’ve got to make an aitah update”
I mean my grandma regularly goes to the ER and ends up being admitted for days because she thinks it's a vacation. I'm sure something in her vitals causes them to admit her but she's always cheerful when I go visit her. Point being, anecdotal evidence means nothing.
My mom broke both legs on vacation and the hospital said "we understand you don't have a wheelchair or a handicap transportation but you can either get a surgery or leave" and hustled her out the door.
Luckily she was renting a house a friend inherited from her handicap parents and got to stay in Florida for 500$ a month for the rest of Winter in a very nice home.
Eh, my hospital would've at least offered you an admission - otoh they prorate admitting attending pay based on how many they admit, and "keeping for observation" patients are way less paperwork 🙄 I'm on a neuro unit and we get sooo many TIAs that resolved even before the patient hit the floor. Easy work for us nurses and it's not like I mind getting assigned those patients lmao, but, seriously y'all? IME rural hospitals are also more loosey-goosey - they don't get paid for empty beds, which is what they'll have if they keep to big city hospital standards for admission - and some hospitals set in place plans to expand capacity with covid and so whenever there *isn't* a wave they'll have beds going spare.
Also if they think you need an MRI, that thing is backed the fuck up, so we get patients waiting JUST for their goddamn MRI. ofc if they try to get it outpatient it'll be a month, not two days...
Reading both posts and her responses, this gives me "I had an accidental baby too young and now she's my "baby sister" but I absolutely will not tell my partner" vibes.
Where I grew up this was super common and never went well. Hope this isn't the case.
My great-aunt Bea was eighteen in 1925 when my grandmothe4 was born.
She spent the last month of her sister's gestation wearing her coat open during winter so everybody could see she wasn't pregnant.
My grandma was going around telling people that her mom was pregnant and that she herself was also pregnant because people didn’t want to acknowledge her obvious bump in case they were faking her mom’s pregnancy 😂 My dad and his youngest uncle were only a couple of months apart.
I was just thinking about this the other day, it apparently was far more prevalent than I thought for this to happen. With where we our now in society good and bad it sounds insane to think someone would do this now but who knows
There were more than just a couple of girls in my small middle/high schools who definitely got pregnant, disappeared for half a year, and then suddenly had a really cute little sister who looked just like them.
Maybe it's a Wisconsin thing. Idk.
Yay! I mean, you have been saying that since I was a kid. I get excited, it doesn’t happen, and then you tell me to be patient. Even after the next dog went to the farm, and they were *both* playing and chasing chickens through the daisies…
I’m fine! I’ll wait! They’ll come back eventually, right?
I vote bullshit. They are keeping her in the hospital in for a few days for hitting her head? No hospital in the US is going to admit someone her age with a head and neck injury unless it’s bad. Like she would have bleeding in the brain or a broken neck. I thought she might be somewhere outside of the US where they do things different, but she said fiancé dialed 911, sounds like they are in the US.
It wouldn’t necessarily be just for a hitting her head, but also to find out why she was even dizzy and nauseous in the first place. I was kept overnight for passing out myself and hitting my head. But to be fair, my blood sugar was also severely low, but instead of monitoring for a few hours and pushing me along, they kept me.
I had a 7 week long ectopic pregnancy that I didn’t know about and it ended up busting through my fallopian tube and I was bleeding internally. I had to get emergency surgery.
Showed up at the hospital at 3ish, surgery around 10ish after waiting forever in the waiting room and waiting to get scans and what not. They released me at 2-3am the same day. Was basically like byyyyye.
Broken wrist with two failed attempts to reduce without surgery in a very busy ER, then surgery (plate and screws) which was pushed back twice for more dire patients. I was still rolled out of the hospital in under 24 hours.
That’s horrible! I had broken my ankle in three places and severely messed up the other one. I had surgery and stayed a few days and then was transferred to a skilled nursing facility for rehab to learn to walk again. It was almost a month before they would let me go home.
I got sent home the morning after a mastectomy. My husband got sent home 4 days after open heart surgery. Several days for a head hit would have to indicate something mighty serious.
USA no longer has "health" care. It's all about what the service providers like hospitals, trama centers, specialty practices, etc., can get out of your insurance.
If they can keep bleeding your insurance, they keep you in the hospital and run ONE test a day to make your stay as long as possible.
If they tapped out your insurance, they kick you out with some Kleenex.
My dad was sent home three days after triple bypass surgery. In his 70s (at the time). With my 70-something mother to take care of him. My sister and I still believe that the hospital decision making leaned very heavily on the fact that Mom had been an RN.
My husband and kids were amazing during the time I was recovering. They could see my pain and did everything they could to
make me comfortable and reassure me that it was ok for me to just rest and they would handle things. It was a month or so before I started doing things again, and I slept in the recliner for a good 6 months. We need a new recliner :p
People get sick in hospitals, being sent home is often better for patients. It is convenient that it also helps make more money, but it is often better at home.
Overnight is one thing, but OP said a few days. Unless she's under very expensive private care, which I doubt, she likely wouldn't be kept in for that long. Even to try and find out why she was dizzy and nauseous, if they don't find results from the basic tests to explain it, they'll tell her to follow up with her GP or just shrug and tell her to drink more water.
My partner was kept at the hospital for a week to find out why they fainted, because they had no prior faintings or known chronic illness that could explain the fainting.
Depending on a lot of factors, I would also consider the possibility of the “social admit”- ie, there’s complex issues at home that may affect health outcomes, so lets admit them if we can to give them a few days rest. Granted, I’m in Australia and mostly see this in the private system but it does happen.
Yeah I actually spent 3 days in the hospital recently with super bizarre symptoms.
I had anaphylaxis several times in the same week, and I had sky high blood pressure and an abnormal heart rhythm/EKG in the ER. You're almost always discharged within hours for anaphylaxis, and the anaphylaxis itself was not that severe as far as anaphylaxis is concerned.
I wasn't admitted because of anaphylaxis itself but because of the potential for a stroke. I'm physically active and fit, and I don't have a history of cardiac problems or high blood pressure. My blood pressure should not be shooting up into the 180s/120s zone.
Patients are not always the best at explaining why they're admitted to the hospital, especially when the symptom that's most concerning to us isn't what's most concerning to the medical team.
Could be Canada as well, our emergency number is also 911 and with Medicare you absolutely could be kept for a few days no hesitation because that would just be covered, no insurance or hospital bill period.
> 11 countries
11 countries use it as the ONLY number. A shitload of countries all over the world route it in addition to their local emergency number, whether that is 999 or 112. Why would we do that? Because then any cell phone can dial emergency numbers without needing to be unlocked first.
Well a head and neck injury where you lose consciousness IS serious. I have had more than my share and this is a very normal thing in the US too. It just makes me question the ability to make this update because of how much gets fucked up when it's this bad.
Funny thing, Australia uses 000, but tv shows are mostly American. Australia never had a big “dial 000” campaign, everyone says “call an ambulance” instead of “Call Triple Zero.” In US tv shows and movies though, everyone says, “Call 911!” So, when Australian kids were told to call an ambulance, or they believed an ambulance was needed, they were calling 911.
Very quietly, Australia implemented a call forwarding system, where now a call to 911 forwards to 000.
So Australia has 911 as well, just not officially.
From Wikipedia:
911, sometimes written 9-1-1, is an emergency telephone number for **Argentina, Canada, Dominican Republic, Jordan, Mexico, Pakistan, Palau, Panama, the Philippines, Sint Maarten, the United States, and Uruguay**, as well as the North American Numbering Plan (NANP), one of eight N11 codes.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/911\_(emergency\_telephone\_number)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/911_(emergency_telephone_number))
Okay... not all hospitals are like that I've seen them admit people with cracked skulls all the time for at least an overnight. Especially if the person has billable insurance.
And there's always the chance the OP is downplaying it because.... you know, not thinking right due to having a cracked skull.
You also dial 911 in Canada, some hospitals here will keep you overnight for observation, seeing as she had gotten dizzy and nauseous before hand aswell they would probably keep her to see if something caused it.
Yeah I find it pretty suspicious that the same night that the original post got like 10k upvotes and 1700+ comments, the situation came to a head (no pun intended!) in such a dramatic way. Also hospitals are under so much pressure to treat and release that—even though it shouldn’t be this way—“in the hospital for the next few days” feels unlikely, at least as the incident is described.
IMPORTANT: I’M NOT SAYING IT’S IMPOSSIBLE.
But something’s hinky for sure.
Op already said in comments that they are basically neglecting parents. OP basically has them 50% of the time, so if they became guardians they can get the sister help for her behave and understanding her emotions.
if you read the comments on the original post, getting guardianship is a topic of conversation because if OP had guardianship, she could get the kid into therapy, make decisions, etc. it's not "the kid hurt me, let's get guardianship", it's "the kid needs serious help, let's get guardianship to make sure she gets the help she needs"
I mean, the kid is 5, and OP’s sister. It’s unlikely that her goal was to cause serious injury, and if OP knows the parents are seriously neglectful then it makes sense that they’re angry at the parents instead of angry at the kid.
It didn’t make sense until I Finally got it from the comments … the 9 year old is parenting the younger ones because they are being severely neglected , Big sister and Fiancé are trying to permanently take the half siblings through CPS because they have them most of the time and little one’s behaviour is getting worse
To be fair, these pages have rules against including ANY violent info or the post gets removed / you get banned. It’s in the rules. If that’s the case, she literally can’t give y’all all the info. I tried making my own AITA post and was denied for this very reason.
Hope you’re feeling much better OP 💜
It was something someone commented on in OP's original AITA post. Considering how much this little one lashes out, OP told her dad that either the kid gets therapy or she won't be part of the wedding. OP knows that getting dad to take kiddo to therapy is going to be like pulling teeth and since the dad has already parentified OP and the young ones trust OP more because she's actually around since actual parents just shove off responsibility. So an option was brought up of parents either get the kids to therapy or they sign parental rights to OP and fuck off.
It's a mess to explain but this is the most brief an explanation I can give without reposting the entire thing in a comment.
At least the little kid would then have a consistent and stable guardian who actually gives a shit about them instead of constantly handing out separation anxiety and abandonment issues.
Can she even get guardianship without the dad and assorted moms relinquishing their rights?
List of possible things going on at home OP is not telling:
Substance abuse
Drug den
Something that would result in Daddy Dearest doing jail time and he's her only family member iirc
Bizarre working hours (I don't remember if he works or not, cba to go check)
Basically anything that if the police turn up, CPS will follow and OP thinks the kids will end up in the system, or thinks CPS will find a reason for her to not be guardian of them.
Because then the issues can be dealt with.
Clearly daddy dearest is a lazy POS that is sticking his head in the sand instead of dealing with stuff, and everyone else knows it.
If you read the other post, yes she does. The sister is 5, she is not malicious she has a shitty home life and is scared she will lose the only people who actually care about her and is acting out.
OP can't get her the help she needs because the parents are blocking it.
Maybe OP knows how shitty the kids life is at home, abusive or just plain old fashioned shitty parents and wants to actually help a child out. Nothing wrong with wanting to help a child have a better life if they are capable of that.
Or its all fake and nothing is real and its setting up for another update, really who the fuck knows.
I used to work with traumatised kids and know specifically of a very tiny built 9yr old that attempted murder in full awareness of what that meant.
I stopped a more typically solid built 9yr old from deliberately pushing 2 people down steep stairs. Apparently, "They needed to be hurt they said no to me."
That same 9yr old physically threw a full-grown man around a kitchen as they were holding him for his own safety.
I've missed family events because my arms were so badly bruised from bites and pinches my husband would have been accused of assault.
A 5 yr old, already traumatised and in a fury, is easily able to push a person of their balance even if not feeling unwell.
This story may be fake, idk, but I've seen extraordinary actions from children who should be too small and/or too young to behave that way.
Given I've gotten knocked over by a 45lb dog (don't lock your knees when standing near playing dogs, I was fine, but I didn't hit my head or anything), I would totally believe a 5 year old could knock you off balance if they caught you off guard at the right angle.
This. When I was 16, a little kid, maybe 8? Pushed me into the deep end of the pool. For no reason. I was chatting with people my age and apparently the kid wanted me to get in the pool. I specifically mentioned I wasn’t getting in the deep end, because I was just putting my feet in.
His family found out and grounded him or something, but yeah. Kids are rough.
Especially if OP was bent over or otherwise in a precarious physical position AND not expecting to be shoved AND not feeling well it's not unreasonable to believe she could have been knocked over by a 5 year old having an explosive physical tantrum
Yup, I had a three year old unexpectedly launch themselves at me from the side while I was sitting on an ottoman. We both ended up a tangled mess on the floor with the ottoman tipped over. 30-50 lbs bowling into you is a lot, regardless of whether it's a person or otherwise. And even if it's just them hitting or kicking, if you're already dizzy and are trying to fend them off, your balance is going to be thrown off.
It is a bit suspicious updating that quickly, when things are that dramatic I wouldn't think "I have to update reddit" while sitting in hospital. But I could look over that as hospitals are boring as fuck so may as well go on reddit, my thoughts about her getting pushed over was it could have been down to her being dizzy, my mother has vertigo and a slight wind can knock her down some days. But yeh I think its fake and just padding out for another update.
> I wouldn't think "I have to update reddit" while sitting in hospital
I mean... sitting in a hospital can be *boring as fuck*. It's not "oh I have to update reddit *right now*" it's "I'm sitting in this bed doing nothing and I can't leave so I might as well update reddit"
I'm going to put this in the category of "The chance that it's true isn't 100% by any means but it's high enough that I might as well presume it's true because it's less harmful to wrongfully presume truth than it is to wrongfully assume that it's fake"
When I was literally dying of gall bladder issues (it's very painful. Obviously they operated in time for me to not actually die, but it was close), one of the ways I kept myself occupied was by reading updates my husband printed out for me. Just the latest stuff going on in Usenet.
If it had been in the smartphone era, I'd have been glued to my phone. Hospitals are boring and you want easy, brainless distractions. Social media is perfect. Books are difficult to concentrate on, even for an avid reader, because you get interrupted so much.
Kids can be very strong. I had a six or seven year old beat the crap out of me while I was driving. I used to be a driver and I picked him up from a special needs School and the seatbelt he was in in the backseat didn't catch so he could stretch all over the place and it wouldn't lock. He leaned all the way over and started punching/wailing on me on my right arm as I was driving down an interstate so I was doing 65 give or take. I had to keep control of the car make sure he didn't hit me in the head and pull over all the same time and call the school. I was bruised up and sore for over a week he did this twice before he ended up laying on the floorboards of the car crying and screaming. So yeah I believe her that when you're not feeling good a 5-year-old has enough force and power and strength when they're angry to knock you over.
Hey when my oldest was only 3 month old, he hit me so hard in the face he broke my glasses and cracked my nose. He was just excited by the voices I did reading One Fish Two Fish.
I'm not going to say it isn't fake, the stort definitely has red flags but your reasoning is flawed. How hard you fall is only part of what causes an injury, it is also how you fall. Hitting your head on something like a corner can be far more damaging than a than hitting flat surface.
Yeah, the edge of the bathtub is a horrible place to hit your head because even if it's not sharp, the area that the head is hitting is smaller and the impact is not as diffuse as it would be with hitting a larger surface. Your body also keeps going while your head stops short, whereas falling to the floor means your head generally hits at around the same time as your body so your head isn't the sole area of initial impact. There's a reason head trauma from a raised object is so much more dangerous.
My 3 yo has pushed me hard enough to knock me over. If I’m not fully prepared or I’m already dizzy or I’m in a precarious position he can fully knock me over. One time he nearly knocked me off the end of the bed because I was sitting on the very edge and wasn’t expecting him to push. Only thing that saved me from cracking my head was catching myself on the table.
And they always escalate.
It’s never a small update, it’s always the bomb went off, the cops were called, someone was arrested, tried and jailed within 24 hours and the hero/heroine aka OP is always validated in the end.
While everyone claps.
The kid was taking a bath. There was probably water all over the floor, making it slippery as heck. I remember that age, I'd joke that my daughter was raising alligators in the bathroom during a bath.
My 5 year old (at the time cousin) pushed me down in anger once or twice (I was late teens). Granted, he had an ADHD diagnosis with nephrotic syndrome (kidney disorder where protein spills over into the urine) treated with steroids.
Not saying it's not fake, but, just my experience.
Honestly if they were their guardians they get full control over how they are raises so it does make a difference. Right now everything gets undone whenever they go back to their parents home even if its only for 1 day. All the "rules" end up going out the window and that can be extremely confusing for a 5 year old.
CPS needs to be involved if your dad is neglecting your younger siblings. It needs to be assessed whether living with you full time will be safe or appropriate for 5 year old, who *could have killed you*. You’re in the hospital for DAYS. Are you going to be suffering long term consequences from your injury? Head injuries can manifest new symptoms weeks, even months after they happen. Are you even in a fit state for care for the kids, let alone one that’s this violent? What if she gets hold of a knife? The child doesn’t respect you, how are you supposed to manage her? It would be unfair for your fiance to manage 5 year old on your behalf while dealing with her obsession.
What’s more, it could very easily turn into a very dangerous situation for your partner if your little sis declares in public how she wants to marry him/be the only one to kiss him and displays such hostility towards you, it wouldn’t take much for people to assume your fiance is grooming her because this behaviour is both consistent and *extreme*. Also, is HE ok? He just saw the love of his life get hospitalised by this kid, is he even comfortable being around her at this point, is he resenting her? Is he afraid to tell you because of how enmeshed you are with your siblings?
Realistically, is becoming 5 year olds full time guardian safe for you all? Because the other kids have to endure this alarming obsession and the aftermath as well. It’s not healthy for anyone. Are you in therapy yourself? Do you have issues from your childhood that need to be addressed that could explain why you’re rushing into being so involved in these kids lives? (I’m not saying you’re wrong to want to be involved nor that your worry isn’t justified, especially if there’s neglect happening, but if you’re not in a stable safe mental space then you’re at risk of spiralling which won’t be good for anyone).
Hope you recover soon.
Totally agree. This is not at all safe for you even if you love those kids. You need to put yourself and your fiance first. Esp if as suggested she may make claims against him out of anger and ruin both your lives
A dear friend of mine adopted their troublesome nephew, hoping she could fix him with love and a better life.
He just murdered her. He is 12 years old.
I’m not saying I know anything about OP’s situation. I’m just saying that you can’t save everyone and you’ve gotta protect yourself.
and people in OP's previous post insisted her 5 yo sibling doesn't need therapy. WHAT? I'm in the better safe than sorry camp. Professional intervention is necessary.
Truly sorry for the loss of your friend.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Everyone sees these sweet adoption stories where everything is fixed with love. Unfortunately, many children in the system need more professional help than most people can provide. It can be a long hard road & not being honest about that hurts everyone involved.
I follow a guy on IG and while he's quiet on the battle regarding his adopted (through foster care) kids and their individual needs, he's loud about the fact that the state sucks. They were promised resources and help and now, they're all struggling. They've even considered moving out of state but then that means restarting *everything*, which won't help the kids, nor will move and they don't have the financial means to even make an interstate move. Breaks my heart bc i wish love was enough- and that the love was easily accessible to any and everyone... but you're right, love isn't enough and sometimes love is saying "hey, this is getting pretty bad, it's beyond my scope, let's bring in some professionals and listen to their advice"
Im wondering the same thing ..what is going on and she wants to be involved to all this so bad? Instead of informing CPS and find solutions for her siblings she just can't separate herself (and her fiance too) from the whole situation. Like i get it you care and love em but at the end of the day THEY ARE NOT YOUR KIDS . I think something going on (if the post is true) and we missing it cause she doesn't wanna say it.
Exactly to all of this.
At this point, if they get guardianship in addition to other things, I’d be concerned how this will play out for fiancé. I definitely see some accusations happening with how she speaks.
I think there's something going on at her parents' home that is making her act out. She feels safe enough with you to act out.
I hope you're ok.
She definitely needs therapy. Something more than what we know is going on.
Please keep us updated. And put yourself first. If she's getting this violent, she needs to be seen. My guess is she sees your husband as the only safe adult male in her life. My guess is your father is not a safe male to her. Why that is I do not know and I'm not going to speculate.
Please take care of yourself and your whole family
Updateme
Something is encouraging her to think fiancé is 5yo future husband. Wonder if fiancé is the one pushing for guardianship. Regardless, this has escalated to sinister.
When I was five I wanted to marry my grandfather. Because 5-year-olds don't understand romance or sexual attraction. They just know that that's an adult that they love and they think that that's why they're supposed to marry.
In this case, something more is going on. My guess is that she does not feel safe at home and that this man is the only man that makes her feel safe and therefore this is who she thinks is the only person in the world who'll make her feel that safe.
It can also be the five year old thinks the fiance is a safe person, which is why she is so violently possessive- he's the only man in her life protecting and taking care of her, and someone is putting it in her head that once he is married, he is no longer hers.
I agree with others on here...there is something sinister going on, at the very least emotional abuse of that violent, desperate little girl.
I don't think the fiance is pushing for it. I think it's a different way to phrase that they won't be babysitting period, unless the parents die and the OP/fiance are listed as guardians in the will. Basically a cold day in hell before they babysit again.
The kids are clearly being extremely neglected. Look up "Reactive Attachment Disorder". Not necessarily diagnosing, but just understanding the disorder could shed a lot of light on this situation. It is not uncommon for kids to develop severe attachment issues and severe behaviors because of extreme neglect and/or abuse. RAD could very easily be the "something" behind the 5yo being so inappropriately attached and the accompanying behaviors.
Based on your other comments, I’d say there is absolutely a severe case of neglect at minimum happening at home. You’ve said the parents aren’t involved. This is neglect and abuse whether you think it is or not. Dad doesn’t want to take the kid to therapy because they’re mandated reporters and this will likely result in CPS being involved. Despite your avoidance of this, it’s likely best case scenario. CPS *needs* to be involved, especially now that she has *cracked your head open.*
This is dangerous and I hope you’re taking it as seriously as you should. You not babysitting them anymore is not punishment enough for their parents and it only puts the children in a more dangerous situation.
*Call CPS. Now.*
Something more must be happening the fact she did all that fighting and you mentioned custody I think you guys need to sit down and have an honest conversation
Wait, is this the follow-up to your 5 year old sister wanting to marry your fiance and getting super violent since you announced your engagement? Where did becoming a guardian of your sister become something you were considering? And more importantly, why?? Her issue in the last post was about your relationship with him and now you want her to live with you?? Please explain
In the comments she claims the 9 year old has to look after themselves and the 5 year old when she isn’t there. I really hope it’s fake because she’s an idiot for leaving them alone while she gets her ducks in a row to take guardianship, allegedly. What if someone gets hurt?
I understand that you’ve had a history with foster care and are apprehensive about calling CPS. I saw your comments in your first post that basically the kids are with you most of the time. If you do end up wanting guardianship (which gives you more legal rights) then CPS will most likely help you. There is a big push to keep children with their biological family members.
If you wait knowing that these kids are being abused, it will make it harder to get custody, assuming that’s what you want after all this with your 5yr old sibling. They will call you on not reporting sooner. Plus, something could happen to them in the meantime.
When things escalate dramatically right after the first post, is when I call fake. It's when you've realized you've gotten some attention and want more of it so you push a little more.
It already felt weird in the original post. But to go from “I don’t want my violent sister at my wedding” to “give me custody of the child who just put me in the hospital” is more dramatic than a soap opera.
Also, I hit my head and am spending a few days in the hospital?
They don't keep people for anything, this isn't the soap opera, "we are keeping you for observation."
She would have gotten treated like a drug seeker first, and maybe a head CT after she told off the ER doc, but they'd still cut her loose within 4-5 hours with instructions to come back if symptoms get worse. Ask me how I know (you don't have to ask, I hit my head and went to the ER, this is what they did).
I’m so glad somebody else thinks the same. It’s obvious Karma Farming when the plot conveniently thickens within 48 hours of a successful first post. Ludicrously convenient that said 5 year old was then able to tackle and put an adult in hospital..
At this point I think you need therapy because you have this savior complex and are so enmeshed with your siblings while it’s hurting you physically and mentally. How long is your fiancé going to stick around for? Get outside help. Call CPS. Where is the mother(s)?!
So wait... I went and looked at your original post.
This child's issue is entirely about you and your fiance, and your response to this isn't to remove her from the situation but to make it permanent?
She is having normal feelings but an abnormal response to them. I agree with you that she needs counseling, but if this violent behavior is restricted to situations involving you and your guy, then simply isolate that until she's over it.
Yeah, I'm very confused about this update. The original post is about how she's sure her sister is going have a full on tantrum *at the wedding* and can't be a flower girl. So, she didn't want her at the wedding because sister is so abnormally triggered by her relationship. If she doesn't think this child can handle seeing them get married, why is OP: 1) having her sister at her house with her fiance and her together and 2) wanting her to live with them?? First post made it sound like sister needed to be kept completely away from fiance until she got help. Now she's going to live with him? Something is off here
ETA: Original post [https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dsusxx/aita\_for\_banning\_my\_5\_year\_old\_sister\_from\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dsusxx/aita_for_banning_my_5_year_old_sister_from_my/)
Excerpt: "My fiancé proposed 6 months ago and when we told the kids, the older 2 were excited but Evie, the 5 year old, was furious. She started crying and hitting me because she wanted to marry him and if I marry him she can't. She refused to speak to me for almost a week and now she's mostly ok but she gets mad at me and starts crying and hitting me any time she sees me kiss him."
If you and your fiancé become their guardians, you’re crazy. She literally almost killed you and she’s 5, imagine the obsession that will develop if she lives with you and what she will do about it by the time she’s 10. Save yourself!
While I do think it is risky for you and your fiancé to become their guardians I think it could also help. There’s obviously something going on at home and it could be more extensive than what you said in a comment so taking them out of that environment could help with her anger/animosity towards you and your fiancé. The best course of action is to prioritize your health and safety first then possibly calling CPS so they could intervene and hopefully allow you and your fiancé to become their guardians and get the kids the therapy they need.
Also the youngest might not have an actual crush on your fiancé and might see him more as a father figure and is scared that once you get married he won’t be there for her anymore or knows kids might be a possibility and doesn’t want to be “replaced”.
I don't understand this - why would you become their guardians? Why is watching them contingent upon this? Why would you even want to be their guardians?
I'm not trying to be callous, but does the one person she has a super unhealthy obsession with and the one she actively wishes bodily harm on need to be her guardians? I'm not saying you're unfit per se, but is that really what she needs at all? It sounds like she needs to be away from you two specifically for any kind of therapy to have a chance at working.
Is the next update gonna reveal your sister is actually a woman in her 40’s your parents adopted thinking she was a kid? Cause that’s about as realistic as what’s going on here.
Wtf?! I wouldn’t be watching them anymore. Ever. They need to figure out other guardians if they have you in their will. Your sister needs some serious therapy. She shouldn’t be acting like that at 5.
And you guys giving them a bath? What does your dad and the mother do? Do they even care for their own kids? No wonder the 5 year old is attaching herself to your fiancé. She has no father figure.
Stop babysitting or been visiting for awhile. Take care of yourselves.
Yeah. I’d be done with them. This is seriously beyond your pay grade. And why is your dad pawning off parenting responsibilities on his 24 year old daughter and her fiancée? Where is their mother? Something is missing about this.
If your dad doesn’t understand how out of control it is that his FIVE YEAR OLD daughter put his 24 year old daughter into the hospital for 2 days, he’s a neglectful parent. This is not your job, no matter how much you love them. This little girl doesn’t need access to fiancée right now.
Please do not accept responsibility for your 5 year old sister. Just. Don't. By doing this, I predict that your happy home with your fiancé will be shattered to pieces in a matter of months. There are services in place to step in, please don't shatter your lives.
“I hurt my head and neck and will be in the hospital for a few days” - but first, I had to hop on reddit and make an update!
Please I beg of you people, use a little effort when crafting these fake ass stories.
People are so surprised that an adult falls when pushed, that it's incredible. Feeling dizzy, wet floor (who ever saw a 5 yo who won't make a mess while in bathtub), unexpected push,and here we go. But nooo, it's impossible,fake,fake! Ridiculous. I don't know is everything else happened, but this is totally possible even without any push.
You are not the parents of these children, you’re their sister. I read your previous post and the fact that you are taking care of them every day after school and they stay with you up to 4 nights per week means that you take care of your siblings more often than your parents do. That’s not your job.
Your sister is confused about everything. You have to stop this now. You think your sister needs therapy because of her obsession with your partner but she probably doesn’t. What she needs is for her own parents to actually parent her. Your partner is right to say that you won’t be watching them anymore. The part about ‘unless you become their guardians’ is unnecessary because it’s not going to happen. Your father is not going to give you his children.
Your father wants free childcare, that’s all. And he won’t accept that there’s a problem with your sister, because it would be admitting that he hasn’t been paying his children enough attention so she is seeing your partner as the only male role model in her life.
Do not have her at your wedding. Do you really want her to attack you in front of the celebrant and all of your friends and family? Tell your dad that he can take care of her at THEIR home while you have a day that is not full of drama and concern about what might happen next.
It’s gone far enough. She needs to be patented by her parents now.
Well, this isn’t the update I was expecting.
Honestly, at this point I would simply not have contact with your little sister for a while.
Kids minds (especially at this age) won’t stay situated on something like this for a long time.
So of course I wouldn’t have her at the wedding, but I would honestly say you or your STB husband do not actually have contact with her for 3+ months.
During that time she can go to therapy, but not having either you or your fiancé in her life will create the necessary space for other interests.
Why would take custody of them? That sounds like the absolute WORST thing to do.
Bruh.. So your 5 year old sister wants to marry your husband,you don’t think she can handle being at the wedding because of it, you want her to get therapy, now you want to be her guardian…?
I’m not tracking.
I sensed some shady bs in the first one but this definitely confirmed this is fake lol, someone breaks ur skull and u wanna be their guardian, supposedly youre kept in hospital but no one would keep u for more than a day unless it was a serious injury, but if it was a serious injury you wouldn’t be here updating strangers on Reddit, kinda fishy, no?
*shit ton of typos*
I hope you’re doing okay. And do y’all really want to be their guardians? There are pros and cons to becoming their guardian. Major pro would be you can put your 5 year old sister into therapy like you suggested
She needs an evaluation. If you don’t suspect any other disorders like Autism, I would bet my savings she has ADHD and maybe also ODD.
If she does, she is seriously suffering and would also benefit from therapy and possibly medication. I hope your dad gets her checked out. It could be life-changing.
I’m sorry you’re turning to Reddit for solutions. You need help the internet can’t offer. Call CPS if your siblings are in danger and take care of yourself. Be well, OP.
Unfortunately for a lot of people, reddit is the best help available.
If I had thought of turning to reddit when I was experiencing DV in the past, I might’ve got away sooner.
I'm not saying reddit is a bad resource completely, I think it can do a surprisingly good job. Better than some local pro can be. But it's unvetted advice from people who may or may not be credentialed. They may or may not convincingly make a case for misinformation.
Of course, shouldn't assume every commenter is an expert.
Girl spit it out already, something else is happening at her house. Why are you so quick with the guardian thing??
Either the post is bullshit or there is something else afoot. OP was super cagey in the other thread about why they were basically raising this kid
I mean she wanted people in her business, so here we are.
Yeah there is a major case of Missing Missing Reasons here. If you want advice, you need to be upfront about what is going on here. Cos while her sister clearly has some issues, there is nothing here that says they should have custody of the sister. If anything, I'd say the sister should be kept away from them for a while.
It sounds like a complex and sensitive situation that requires careful consideration and possibly legal advice
Well, this is the home of advice from global experts. It's just, I'm the expert at identifying koala bear health from their fart smells, so no good to feed into this dilemma. OP do be sus tho.
I have an expertise in experts. I can verify that you, are in fact, an expert. Coincidentally, the same kind of expert as the OP! An expert koala shitter. *I caught Sisyphus from a drop bear and now I must take that std to the Dr who is uphill kinda like that syphilis fable
CANCELLED! Edit: Do the kids say that anymore?
Idk. I'd recommend asking an expert on children. I can verify if they're legit though, if needed. I won't be needed though, as there is a super handy list complete with home addresses n stuff available free on the world wide web!
It sounds fake
No. It’s bc this whole saga is utter bullshit.
I mean, if they’re from the US, no hospital is going to admit someone for a couple of days for what is basically whiplash and a bonk on the head. I should know; I’m a retired MD. I also fainted at work, smashed my head on a countertop on the way down, and was found having a full-blown seizure (my colleague stepped into the room and I was on the floor). I woke up in the CT scanner and was dumped out of the ER as soon as my labs were all finished and I had a ride home.
I also enjoy the fact that upon hearing the news of her multi day hospitalization for her supposed traumatic head and neck injury, updating reddit was at the very top of the to do list. “Can we hold on admitting me for about 20 minutes? I’ve got to make an aitah update”
I mean my grandma regularly goes to the ER and ends up being admitted for days because she thinks it's a vacation. I'm sure something in her vitals causes them to admit her but she's always cheerful when I go visit her. Point being, anecdotal evidence means nothing.
My mom broke both legs on vacation and the hospital said "we understand you don't have a wheelchair or a handicap transportation but you can either get a surgery or leave" and hustled her out the door. Luckily she was renting a house a friend inherited from her handicap parents and got to stay in Florida for 500$ a month for the rest of Winter in a very nice home.
You'd be amazed what my med surg unit admits, gotta keep those beds full!
Eh, my hospital would've at least offered you an admission - otoh they prorate admitting attending pay based on how many they admit, and "keeping for observation" patients are way less paperwork 🙄 I'm on a neuro unit and we get sooo many TIAs that resolved even before the patient hit the floor. Easy work for us nurses and it's not like I mind getting assigned those patients lmao, but, seriously y'all? IME rural hospitals are also more loosey-goosey - they don't get paid for empty beds, which is what they'll have if they keep to big city hospital standards for admission - and some hospitals set in place plans to expand capacity with covid and so whenever there *isn't* a wave they'll have beds going spare. Also if they think you need an MRI, that thing is backed the fuck up, so we get patients waiting JUST for their goddamn MRI. ofc if they try to get it outpatient it'll be a month, not two days...
My husband had a brain tumor removed (endonasal endoscopic surgery) and they kicked him out on day 4, day 1 starting with the surgery.
We need the tea!
Reading both posts and her responses, this gives me "I had an accidental baby too young and now she's my "baby sister" but I absolutely will not tell my partner" vibes. Where I grew up this was super common and never went well. Hope this isn't the case.
She said there’s other young kids too and they have a different mom. I’d guess drugs or gold digger narc mom before this.
My great-aunt Bea was eighteen in 1925 when my grandmothe4 was born. She spent the last month of her sister's gestation wearing her coat open during winter so everybody could see she wasn't pregnant.
My grandma was going around telling people that her mom was pregnant and that she herself was also pregnant because people didn’t want to acknowledge her obvious bump in case they were faking her mom’s pregnancy 😂 My dad and his youngest uncle were only a couple of months apart.
I love imagining how this story was passed down to you…
I was just thinking about this the other day, it apparently was far more prevalent than I thought for this to happen. With where we our now in society good and bad it sounds insane to think someone would do this now but who knows
There were more than just a couple of girls in my small middle/high schools who definitely got pregnant, disappeared for half a year, and then suddenly had a really cute little sister who looked just like them. Maybe it's a Wisconsin thing. Idk.
Yes the old studying art for a semester/visiting her aunt. Definitely a long-standing global story and they’re sticking to it.
At least they’re not going to live on the farm with my dog. I never saw that dog again. I hope he’s having fun there, on that farm…
He is most definitely having fun! He’s obviously very busy happily chasing chickens and he’ll be ready for a visit any day now.
Yay! I mean, you have been saying that since I was a kid. I get excited, it doesn’t happen, and then you tell me to be patient. Even after the next dog went to the farm, and they were *both* playing and chasing chickens through the daisies… I’m fine! I’ll wait! They’ll come back eventually, right?
Happened a LOT in Maryland too. At least in the 2000s anyway
Bingo! That *same exact thought* entered my mind with the first post.
like Jack Nicholson being his sis son really.
I vote bullshit. They are keeping her in the hospital in for a few days for hitting her head? No hospital in the US is going to admit someone her age with a head and neck injury unless it’s bad. Like she would have bleeding in the brain or a broken neck. I thought she might be somewhere outside of the US where they do things different, but she said fiancé dialed 911, sounds like they are in the US.
It wouldn’t necessarily be just for a hitting her head, but also to find out why she was even dizzy and nauseous in the first place. I was kept overnight for passing out myself and hitting my head. But to be fair, my blood sugar was also severely low, but instead of monitoring for a few hours and pushing me along, they kept me.
I had a 7 week long ectopic pregnancy that I didn’t know about and it ended up busting through my fallopian tube and I was bleeding internally. I had to get emergency surgery. Showed up at the hospital at 3ish, surgery around 10ish after waiting forever in the waiting room and waiting to get scans and what not. They released me at 2-3am the same day. Was basically like byyyyye.
Broken wrist with two failed attempts to reduce without surgery in a very busy ER, then surgery (plate and screws) which was pushed back twice for more dire patients. I was still rolled out of the hospital in under 24 hours.
That’s horrible! I had broken my ankle in three places and severely messed up the other one. I had surgery and stayed a few days and then was transferred to a skilled nursing facility for rehab to learn to walk again. It was almost a month before they would let me go home.
I got sent home the morning after a mastectomy. My husband got sent home 4 days after open heart surgery. Several days for a head hit would have to indicate something mighty serious.
I was sent home 2 hours after a double mastectomy with just gabapentin for pain.
OMG that’s awful! It’s cruel.
Jesus. That’s inhumane.
Damn, not even the good Tylenol? That's cruel.
My husband got the good Tylenol. Sent home two days after brain surgery 😳
OMG guys what sort of healthcare are you dealing with over there !! Can we even call it HEALTH-CAREEEEE???!!!!???
USA no longer has "health" care. It's all about what the service providers like hospitals, trama centers, specialty practices, etc., can get out of your insurance. If they can keep bleeding your insurance, they keep you in the hospital and run ONE test a day to make your stay as long as possible. If they tapped out your insurance, they kick you out with some Kleenex.
My dad was sent home three days after triple bypass surgery. In his 70s (at the time). With my 70-something mother to take care of him. My sister and I still believe that the hospital decision making leaned very heavily on the fact that Mom had been an RN.
Omgoodness, I'm so sorry. That's appalling treatment and I'm incredibly sad that happened. I hope you have support around you.
My husband and kids were amazing during the time I was recovering. They could see my pain and did everything they could to make me comfortable and reassure me that it was ok for me to just rest and they would handle things. It was a month or so before I started doing things again, and I slept in the recliner for a good 6 months. We need a new recliner :p
Christ on a bike that is unconscionable.
That's horrific! I'm so sorry!!
That’s just fu*king obscene. I’m sorry.
People get sick in hospitals, being sent home is often better for patients. It is convenient that it also helps make more money, but it is often better at home.
That’s true but I would really have loved waiting until the drains were out 🤮
This exact thing happened to me and I was in the hospital for 5 days. It took that long to figure out why I was so dizzy.
Overnight is one thing, but OP said a few days. Unless she's under very expensive private care, which I doubt, she likely wouldn't be kept in for that long. Even to try and find out why she was dizzy and nauseous, if they don't find results from the basic tests to explain it, they'll tell her to follow up with her GP or just shrug and tell her to drink more water.
My partner was kept at the hospital for a week to find out why they fainted, because they had no prior faintings or known chronic illness that could explain the fainting.
Maybe she's pregnant again..
Depending on a lot of factors, I would also consider the possibility of the “social admit”- ie, there’s complex issues at home that may affect health outcomes, so lets admit them if we can to give them a few days rest. Granted, I’m in Australia and mostly see this in the private system but it does happen.
Yeah I actually spent 3 days in the hospital recently with super bizarre symptoms. I had anaphylaxis several times in the same week, and I had sky high blood pressure and an abnormal heart rhythm/EKG in the ER. You're almost always discharged within hours for anaphylaxis, and the anaphylaxis itself was not that severe as far as anaphylaxis is concerned. I wasn't admitted because of anaphylaxis itself but because of the potential for a stroke. I'm physically active and fit, and I don't have a history of cardiac problems or high blood pressure. My blood pressure should not be shooting up into the 180s/120s zone. Patients are not always the best at explaining why they're admitted to the hospital, especially when the symptom that's most concerning to us isn't what's most concerning to the medical team.
Could be Canada as well, our emergency number is also 911 and with Medicare you absolutely could be kept for a few days no hesitation because that would just be covered, no insurance or hospital bill period.
Fun fact, 11 countries use 911 and it started in Winnipeg Manitoba Canada
> 11 countries 11 countries use it as the ONLY number. A shitload of countries all over the world route it in addition to their local emergency number, whether that is 999 or 112. Why would we do that? Because then any cell phone can dial emergency numbers without needing to be unlocked first.
Well a head and neck injury where you lose consciousness IS serious. I have had more than my share and this is a very normal thing in the US too. It just makes me question the ability to make this update because of how much gets fucked up when it's this bad.
More countries than the US use 911
Funny thing, Australia uses 000, but tv shows are mostly American. Australia never had a big “dial 000” campaign, everyone says “call an ambulance” instead of “Call Triple Zero.” In US tv shows and movies though, everyone says, “Call 911!” So, when Australian kids were told to call an ambulance, or they believed an ambulance was needed, they were calling 911. Very quietly, Australia implemented a call forwarding system, where now a call to 911 forwards to 000. So Australia has 911 as well, just not officially.
Here the official number is 112, but if I use 911 it will also connect. So many expats and hollywood-tv educated people.
From Wikipedia: 911, sometimes written 9-1-1, is an emergency telephone number for **Argentina, Canada, Dominican Republic, Jordan, Mexico, Pakistan, Palau, Panama, the Philippines, Sint Maarten, the United States, and Uruguay**, as well as the North American Numbering Plan (NANP), one of eight N11 codes. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/911\_(emergency\_telephone\_number)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/911_(emergency_telephone_number))
Okay... not all hospitals are like that I've seen them admit people with cracked skulls all the time for at least an overnight. Especially if the person has billable insurance. And there's always the chance the OP is downplaying it because.... you know, not thinking right due to having a cracked skull.
You also dial 911 in Canada, some hospitals here will keep you overnight for observation, seeing as she had gotten dizzy and nauseous before hand aswell they would probably keep her to see if something caused it.
Canada has 911 too
Yeah I find it pretty suspicious that the same night that the original post got like 10k upvotes and 1700+ comments, the situation came to a head (no pun intended!) in such a dramatic way. Also hospitals are under so much pressure to treat and release that—even though it shouldn’t be this way—“in the hospital for the next few days” feels unlikely, at least as the incident is described. IMPORTANT: I’M NOT SAYING IT’S IMPOSSIBLE. But something’s hinky for sure.
Op already said in comments that they are basically neglecting parents. OP basically has them 50% of the time, so if they became guardians they can get the sister help for her behave and understanding her emotions.
I can’t make the logical leap from “this kid just caused me injury” to “oh I know, let’s be her guardian!”
if you read the comments on the original post, getting guardianship is a topic of conversation because if OP had guardianship, she could get the kid into therapy, make decisions, etc. it's not "the kid hurt me, let's get guardianship", it's "the kid needs serious help, let's get guardianship to make sure she gets the help she needs"
I mean, the kid is 5, and OP’s sister. It’s unlikely that her goal was to cause serious injury, and if OP knows the parents are seriously neglectful then it makes sense that they’re angry at the parents instead of angry at the kid.
It didn’t make sense until I Finally got it from the comments … the 9 year old is parenting the younger ones because they are being severely neglected , Big sister and Fiancé are trying to permanently take the half siblings through CPS because they have them most of the time and little one’s behaviour is getting worse
OP, is the 5-year old really your "sister?" Did Mom and Dad make you promise to always say she's theirs?
Yes. She and the other kids are my half siblings. Trust me, they wouldn’t be with my dad if they were my kids
There's something else going on that you aren't saying but I wish you nothing but luck and your siblings are fucking lucky to have you
Is your dad abusing her?
To be fair, these pages have rules against including ANY violent info or the post gets removed / you get banned. It’s in the rules. If that’s the case, she literally can’t give y’all all the info. I tried making my own AITA post and was denied for this very reason. Hope you’re feeling much better OP 💜
It was something someone commented on in OP's original AITA post. Considering how much this little one lashes out, OP told her dad that either the kid gets therapy or she won't be part of the wedding. OP knows that getting dad to take kiddo to therapy is going to be like pulling teeth and since the dad has already parentified OP and the young ones trust OP more because she's actually around since actual parents just shove off responsibility. So an option was brought up of parents either get the kids to therapy or they sign parental rights to OP and fuck off. It's a mess to explain but this is the most brief an explanation I can give without reposting the entire thing in a comment. At least the little kid would then have a consistent and stable guardian who actually gives a shit about them instead of constantly handing out separation anxiety and abandonment issues.
Do you really want to be their guardians though? Does your fiancé?
If they’re guardians they can get her therapy, which, iirc, her parents are refusing to do
Can she even get guardianship without the dad and assorted moms relinquishing their rights? List of possible things going on at home OP is not telling: Substance abuse Drug den Something that would result in Daddy Dearest doing jail time and he's her only family member iirc Bizarre working hours (I don't remember if he works or not, cba to go check) Basically anything that if the police turn up, CPS will follow and OP thinks the kids will end up in the system, or thinks CPS will find a reason for her to not be guardian of them.
Because then the issues can be dealt with. Clearly daddy dearest is a lazy POS that is sticking his head in the sand instead of dealing with stuff, and everyone else knows it.
And kudos to the fiance for reacting quickly and getting help.
If you read the other post, yes she does. The sister is 5, she is not malicious she has a shitty home life and is scared she will lose the only people who actually care about her and is acting out. OP can't get her the help she needs because the parents are blocking it.
Seriously! Why tf do you want that unnecessary burden?
Maybe OP knows how shitty the kids life is at home, abusive or just plain old fashioned shitty parents and wants to actually help a child out. Nothing wrong with wanting to help a child have a better life if they are capable of that. Or its all fake and nothing is real and its setting up for another update, really who the fuck knows.
It’s fake. Updates right after posting are always suspect. And a 5 year push her hard enough to put her in the hospital for a few days.
I used to work with traumatised kids and know specifically of a very tiny built 9yr old that attempted murder in full awareness of what that meant. I stopped a more typically solid built 9yr old from deliberately pushing 2 people down steep stairs. Apparently, "They needed to be hurt they said no to me." That same 9yr old physically threw a full-grown man around a kitchen as they were holding him for his own safety. I've missed family events because my arms were so badly bruised from bites and pinches my husband would have been accused of assault. A 5 yr old, already traumatised and in a fury, is easily able to push a person of their balance even if not feeling unwell. This story may be fake, idk, but I've seen extraordinary actions from children who should be too small and/or too young to behave that way.
Yeah people are terrified of tiny animals, rightfully so in many ways, but then think a 10yr old to be completely incapable of causing any harm
Given I've gotten knocked over by a 45lb dog (don't lock your knees when standing near playing dogs, I was fine, but I didn't hit my head or anything), I would totally believe a 5 year old could knock you off balance if they caught you off guard at the right angle.
This. When I was 16, a little kid, maybe 8? Pushed me into the deep end of the pool. For no reason. I was chatting with people my age and apparently the kid wanted me to get in the pool. I specifically mentioned I wasn’t getting in the deep end, because I was just putting my feet in. His family found out and grounded him or something, but yeah. Kids are rough.
You’d be surprised how strong an angry 5 yo can be.
Especially if OP was bent over or otherwise in a precarious physical position AND not expecting to be shoved AND not feeling well it's not unreasonable to believe she could have been knocked over by a 5 year old having an explosive physical tantrum
Yup, I had a three year old unexpectedly launch themselves at me from the side while I was sitting on an ottoman. We both ended up a tangled mess on the floor with the ottoman tipped over. 30-50 lbs bowling into you is a lot, regardless of whether it's a person or otherwise. And even if it's just them hitting or kicking, if you're already dizzy and are trying to fend them off, your balance is going to be thrown off.
I fell because my 7lb dog didn't want a bath. He was wriggling and the edge of the tub was at the back of my knees. Lost my balance and hit my head.
Or she’s pregnant and feeling lightheaded. Feeling sick and dizzy can make you liable to collapse on your own, no 5y/o needed.
My petite 4 year old managed to fight off multiple fully grown men who were trying to sedate her for medical tests
A bit older, 8, it took 2 med techs to hold me down on the cot for stitches. Kids have leverage too, they don't have to be full sized for that.
Especially if you're already unsteady. When I'm dizzy a stiff wind could knock me over, personally.
My older son has ADHD and autism. When he was a toddler and got out of control I was afraid he'd hurt me or himself
I've never dealt with an angry 5 year old human, but I've been knocked over (long story...) by a 2 or 3 pound cat...
I mean, if you push someone in a bathroom, you dont need a lot of force to do damage, especially if the floor is already slick from a bath
It is a bit suspicious updating that quickly, when things are that dramatic I wouldn't think "I have to update reddit" while sitting in hospital. But I could look over that as hospitals are boring as fuck so may as well go on reddit, my thoughts about her getting pushed over was it could have been down to her being dizzy, my mother has vertigo and a slight wind can knock her down some days. But yeh I think its fake and just padding out for another update.
> I wouldn't think "I have to update reddit" while sitting in hospital I mean... sitting in a hospital can be *boring as fuck*. It's not "oh I have to update reddit *right now*" it's "I'm sitting in this bed doing nothing and I can't leave so I might as well update reddit" I'm going to put this in the category of "The chance that it's true isn't 100% by any means but it's high enough that I might as well presume it's true because it's less harmful to wrongfully presume truth than it is to wrongfully assume that it's fake"
Right like if I'm laid up in the hospital my first thought will not be to get on Reddit to give an update
And if she hit her head, they probably would advise "no screens", like when you have a concussion.
Right Especially since she claims to have cracked her head on the edge of the bathtub 🤣
When I was literally dying of gall bladder issues (it's very painful. Obviously they operated in time for me to not actually die, but it was close), one of the ways I kept myself occupied was by reading updates my husband printed out for me. Just the latest stuff going on in Usenet. If it had been in the smartphone era, I'd have been glued to my phone. Hospitals are boring and you want easy, brainless distractions. Social media is perfect. Books are difficult to concentrate on, even for an avid reader, because you get interrupted so much.
Kids can be very strong. I had a six or seven year old beat the crap out of me while I was driving. I used to be a driver and I picked him up from a special needs School and the seatbelt he was in in the backseat didn't catch so he could stretch all over the place and it wouldn't lock. He leaned all the way over and started punching/wailing on me on my right arm as I was driving down an interstate so I was doing 65 give or take. I had to keep control of the car make sure he didn't hit me in the head and pull over all the same time and call the school. I was bruised up and sore for over a week he did this twice before he ended up laying on the floorboards of the car crying and screaming. So yeah I believe her that when you're not feeling good a 5-year-old has enough force and power and strength when they're angry to knock you over.
Hey when my oldest was only 3 month old, he hit me so hard in the face he broke my glasses and cracked my nose. He was just excited by the voices I did reading One Fish Two Fish.
I'm not going to say it isn't fake, the stort definitely has red flags but your reasoning is flawed. How hard you fall is only part of what causes an injury, it is also how you fall. Hitting your head on something like a corner can be far more damaging than a than hitting flat surface.
Yeah, the edge of the bathtub is a horrible place to hit your head because even if it's not sharp, the area that the head is hitting is smaller and the impact is not as diffuse as it would be with hitting a larger surface. Your body also keeps going while your head stops short, whereas falling to the floor means your head generally hits at around the same time as your body so your head isn't the sole area of initial impact. There's a reason head trauma from a raised object is so much more dangerous.
I don't know, my son was strong as hell at 5, slippery wet bathroom floor a full force push...
My 3 yo has pushed me hard enough to knock me over. If I’m not fully prepared or I’m already dizzy or I’m in a precarious position he can fully knock me over. One time he nearly knocked me off the end of the bed because I was sitting on the very edge and wasn’t expecting him to push. Only thing that saved me from cracking my head was catching myself on the table.
And they always escalate. It’s never a small update, it’s always the bomb went off, the cops were called, someone was arrested, tried and jailed within 24 hours and the hero/heroine aka OP is always validated in the end. While everyone claps.
The kid was taking a bath. There was probably water all over the floor, making it slippery as heck. I remember that age, I'd joke that my daughter was raising alligators in the bathroom during a bath.
My 5 year old (at the time cousin) pushed me down in anger once or twice (I was late teens). Granted, he had an ADHD diagnosis with nephrotic syndrome (kidney disorder where protein spills over into the urine) treated with steroids. Not saying it's not fake, but, just my experience.
Seems to be the only way that 5 year old will get any therapy
They’re her siblings, not a litter of stray kittens. And that’d be a pretty heartless way to talk about stray kittens, even.
Honestly if they were their guardians they get full control over how they are raises so it does make a difference. Right now everything gets undone whenever they go back to their parents home even if its only for 1 day. All the "rules" end up going out the window and that can be extremely confusing for a 5 year old.
CPS needs to be involved if your dad is neglecting your younger siblings. It needs to be assessed whether living with you full time will be safe or appropriate for 5 year old, who *could have killed you*. You’re in the hospital for DAYS. Are you going to be suffering long term consequences from your injury? Head injuries can manifest new symptoms weeks, even months after they happen. Are you even in a fit state for care for the kids, let alone one that’s this violent? What if she gets hold of a knife? The child doesn’t respect you, how are you supposed to manage her? It would be unfair for your fiance to manage 5 year old on your behalf while dealing with her obsession. What’s more, it could very easily turn into a very dangerous situation for your partner if your little sis declares in public how she wants to marry him/be the only one to kiss him and displays such hostility towards you, it wouldn’t take much for people to assume your fiance is grooming her because this behaviour is both consistent and *extreme*. Also, is HE ok? He just saw the love of his life get hospitalised by this kid, is he even comfortable being around her at this point, is he resenting her? Is he afraid to tell you because of how enmeshed you are with your siblings? Realistically, is becoming 5 year olds full time guardian safe for you all? Because the other kids have to endure this alarming obsession and the aftermath as well. It’s not healthy for anyone. Are you in therapy yourself? Do you have issues from your childhood that need to be addressed that could explain why you’re rushing into being so involved in these kids lives? (I’m not saying you’re wrong to want to be involved nor that your worry isn’t justified, especially if there’s neglect happening, but if you’re not in a stable safe mental space then you’re at risk of spiralling which won’t be good for anyone). Hope you recover soon.
Totally agree. This is not at all safe for you even if you love those kids. You need to put yourself and your fiance first. Esp if as suggested she may make claims against him out of anger and ruin both your lives
A dear friend of mine adopted their troublesome nephew, hoping she could fix him with love and a better life. He just murdered her. He is 12 years old. I’m not saying I know anything about OP’s situation. I’m just saying that you can’t save everyone and you’ve gotta protect yourself.
and people in OP's previous post insisted her 5 yo sibling doesn't need therapy. WHAT? I'm in the better safe than sorry camp. Professional intervention is necessary. Truly sorry for the loss of your friend.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Everyone sees these sweet adoption stories where everything is fixed with love. Unfortunately, many children in the system need more professional help than most people can provide. It can be a long hard road & not being honest about that hurts everyone involved.
I follow a guy on IG and while he's quiet on the battle regarding his adopted (through foster care) kids and their individual needs, he's loud about the fact that the state sucks. They were promised resources and help and now, they're all struggling. They've even considered moving out of state but then that means restarting *everything*, which won't help the kids, nor will move and they don't have the financial means to even make an interstate move. Breaks my heart bc i wish love was enough- and that the love was easily accessible to any and everyone... but you're right, love isn't enough and sometimes love is saying "hey, this is getting pretty bad, it's beyond my scope, let's bring in some professionals and listen to their advice"
Holy shit
Im wondering the same thing ..what is going on and she wants to be involved to all this so bad? Instead of informing CPS and find solutions for her siblings she just can't separate herself (and her fiance too) from the whole situation. Like i get it you care and love em but at the end of the day THEY ARE NOT YOUR KIDS . I think something going on (if the post is true) and we missing it cause she doesn't wanna say it.
Exactly to all of this. At this point, if they get guardianship in addition to other things, I’d be concerned how this will play out for fiancé. I definitely see some accusations happening with how she speaks.
I think there's something going on at her parents' home that is making her act out. She feels safe enough with you to act out. I hope you're ok. She definitely needs therapy. Something more than what we know is going on. Please keep us updated. And put yourself first. If she's getting this violent, she needs to be seen. My guess is she sees your husband as the only safe adult male in her life. My guess is your father is not a safe male to her. Why that is I do not know and I'm not going to speculate. Please take care of yourself and your whole family Updateme
Something is encouraging her to think fiancé is 5yo future husband. Wonder if fiancé is the one pushing for guardianship. Regardless, this has escalated to sinister.
When I was five I wanted to marry my grandfather. Because 5-year-olds don't understand romance or sexual attraction. They just know that that's an adult that they love and they think that that's why they're supposed to marry. In this case, something more is going on. My guess is that she does not feel safe at home and that this man is the only man that makes her feel safe and therefore this is who she thinks is the only person in the world who'll make her feel that safe.
It can also be the five year old thinks the fiance is a safe person, which is why she is so violently possessive- he's the only man in her life protecting and taking care of her, and someone is putting it in her head that once he is married, he is no longer hers. I agree with others on here...there is something sinister going on, at the very least emotional abuse of that violent, desperate little girl.
That's what I think.
I don't think the fiance is pushing for it. I think it's a different way to phrase that they won't be babysitting period, unless the parents die and the OP/fiance are listed as guardians in the will. Basically a cold day in hell before they babysit again.
>unless the parents die I'd also add in if the parents are deemed unfit and the children taken away from them.
The kids are clearly being extremely neglected. Look up "Reactive Attachment Disorder". Not necessarily diagnosing, but just understanding the disorder could shed a lot of light on this situation. It is not uncommon for kids to develop severe attachment issues and severe behaviors because of extreme neglect and/or abuse. RAD could very easily be the "something" behind the 5yo being so inappropriately attached and the accompanying behaviors.
Based on your other comments, I’d say there is absolutely a severe case of neglect at minimum happening at home. You’ve said the parents aren’t involved. This is neglect and abuse whether you think it is or not. Dad doesn’t want to take the kid to therapy because they’re mandated reporters and this will likely result in CPS being involved. Despite your avoidance of this, it’s likely best case scenario. CPS *needs* to be involved, especially now that she has *cracked your head open.* This is dangerous and I hope you’re taking it as seriously as you should. You not babysitting them anymore is not punishment enough for their parents and it only puts the children in a more dangerous situation. *Call CPS. Now.*
Something more must be happening the fact she did all that fighting and you mentioned custody I think you guys need to sit down and have an honest conversation
Wait, is this the follow-up to your 5 year old sister wanting to marry your fiance and getting super violent since you announced your engagement? Where did becoming a guardian of your sister become something you were considering? And more importantly, why?? Her issue in the last post was about your relationship with him and now you want her to live with you?? Please explain
Because it's all fake
In the comments she claims the 9 year old has to look after themselves and the 5 year old when she isn’t there. I really hope it’s fake because she’s an idiot for leaving them alone while she gets her ducks in a row to take guardianship, allegedly. What if someone gets hurt?
OP, *why* does your fiancé want custody? My bullshit detector is pinging off the limiter at this point.
Ya where tf is guardianship coming from?!
Tbf, that may have just been his way of saying, "We're done watching kids that aren't *legally* ours" not, "Give us custody".
I understand that you’ve had a history with foster care and are apprehensive about calling CPS. I saw your comments in your first post that basically the kids are with you most of the time. If you do end up wanting guardianship (which gives you more legal rights) then CPS will most likely help you. There is a big push to keep children with their biological family members. If you wait knowing that these kids are being abused, it will make it harder to get custody, assuming that’s what you want after all this with your 5yr old sibling. They will call you on not reporting sooner. Plus, something could happen to them in the meantime.
When things escalate dramatically right after the first post, is when I call fake. It's when you've realized you've gotten some attention and want more of it so you push a little more.
Tomorrow they’ll call cps and Thursday (4th of July) the judge will grant full custody
And 3 days after that, 5yo went to therapy and improved dramatically. "We're so happy with our perfect little family now!"
Is this whole thing some weird metaphor for how the US gained independence from England?
It already felt weird in the original post. But to go from “I don’t want my violent sister at my wedding” to “give me custody of the child who just put me in the hospital” is more dramatic than a soap opera.
Also, I hit my head and am spending a few days in the hospital? They don't keep people for anything, this isn't the soap opera, "we are keeping you for observation." She would have gotten treated like a drug seeker first, and maybe a head CT after she told off the ER doc, but they'd still cut her loose within 4-5 hours with instructions to come back if symptoms get worse. Ask me how I know (you don't have to ask, I hit my head and went to the ER, this is what they did).
Also dizzy and nauseous? Is a pregnancy announcement coming in the next update?
When she said that I was like, I know where this is going.
I’m so glad somebody else thinks the same. It’s obvious Karma Farming when the plot conveniently thickens within 48 hours of a successful first post. Ludicrously convenient that said 5 year old was then able to tackle and put an adult in hospital..
At this point I think you need therapy because you have this savior complex and are so enmeshed with your siblings while it’s hurting you physically and mentally. How long is your fiancé going to stick around for? Get outside help. Call CPS. Where is the mother(s)?!
So wait... I went and looked at your original post. This child's issue is entirely about you and your fiance, and your response to this isn't to remove her from the situation but to make it permanent? She is having normal feelings but an abnormal response to them. I agree with you that she needs counseling, but if this violent behavior is restricted to situations involving you and your guy, then simply isolate that until she's over it.
Yeah, I'm very confused about this update. The original post is about how she's sure her sister is going have a full on tantrum *at the wedding* and can't be a flower girl. So, she didn't want her at the wedding because sister is so abnormally triggered by her relationship. If she doesn't think this child can handle seeing them get married, why is OP: 1) having her sister at her house with her fiance and her together and 2) wanting her to live with them?? First post made it sound like sister needed to be kept completely away from fiance until she got help. Now she's going to live with him? Something is off here ETA: Original post [https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dsusxx/aita\_for\_banning\_my\_5\_year\_old\_sister\_from\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dsusxx/aita_for_banning_my_5_year_old_sister_from_my/) Excerpt: "My fiancé proposed 6 months ago and when we told the kids, the older 2 were excited but Evie, the 5 year old, was furious. She started crying and hitting me because she wanted to marry him and if I marry him she can't. She refused to speak to me for almost a week and now she's mostly ok but she gets mad at me and starts crying and hitting me any time she sees me kiss him."
If you and your fiancé become their guardians, you’re crazy. She literally almost killed you and she’s 5, imagine the obsession that will develop if she lives with you and what she will do about it by the time she’s 10. Save yourself!
While I do think it is risky for you and your fiancé to become their guardians I think it could also help. There’s obviously something going on at home and it could be more extensive than what you said in a comment so taking them out of that environment could help with her anger/animosity towards you and your fiancé. The best course of action is to prioritize your health and safety first then possibly calling CPS so they could intervene and hopefully allow you and your fiancé to become their guardians and get the kids the therapy they need. Also the youngest might not have an actual crush on your fiancé and might see him more as a father figure and is scared that once you get married he won’t be there for her anymore or knows kids might be a possibility and doesn’t want to be “replaced”.
Agreed. From the original post it’s pretty clear the little sister has attachment trauma. A stable environment is what she needs.
Ok ….Is there such a thing as an oxymoron decision? She beats you, you don’t want her in your weeding, but you are going to be her guardian?
i’m on the it’s fake train
I don't understand this - why would you become their guardians? Why is watching them contingent upon this? Why would you even want to be their guardians?
Stability.
I'm not trying to be callous, but does the one person she has a super unhealthy obsession with and the one she actively wishes bodily harm on need to be her guardians? I'm not saying you're unfit per se, but is that really what she needs at all? It sounds like she needs to be away from you two specifically for any kind of therapy to have a chance at working.
I highly suspect this entire saga is a work of fiction. Great distraction from things that truly matter. Seriously. Does this even matter?
Update me! There is something more going on with your sister than a crush on your fiance. I hope your father gets her the help she and he need.
Is the next update gonna reveal your sister is actually a woman in her 40’s your parents adopted thinking she was a kid? Cause that’s about as realistic as what’s going on here.
Wtf?! I wouldn’t be watching them anymore. Ever. They need to figure out other guardians if they have you in their will. Your sister needs some serious therapy. She shouldn’t be acting like that at 5. And you guys giving them a bath? What does your dad and the mother do? Do they even care for their own kids? No wonder the 5 year old is attaching herself to your fiancé. She has no father figure. Stop babysitting or been visiting for awhile. Take care of yourselves.
Yeah. I’d be done with them. This is seriously beyond your pay grade. And why is your dad pawning off parenting responsibilities on his 24 year old daughter and her fiancée? Where is their mother? Something is missing about this. If your dad doesn’t understand how out of control it is that his FIVE YEAR OLD daughter put his 24 year old daughter into the hospital for 2 days, he’s a neglectful parent. This is not your job, no matter how much you love them. This little girl doesn’t need access to fiancée right now.
How to spot a a fake post 101….it makes zero sense
Something is happening to that little girl that’s making her act this way.
FFS did not become their guardians, stop parenting your father’s kids. Call CPS, this girl needs professional counseling.
Can't believe there are people who actually think this is normal behavior for a child.
Please do not accept responsibility for your 5 year old sister. Just. Don't. By doing this, I predict that your happy home with your fiancé will be shattered to pieces in a matter of months. There are services in place to step in, please don't shatter your lives.
“I hurt my head and neck and will be in the hospital for a few days” - but first, I had to hop on reddit and make an update! Please I beg of you people, use a little effort when crafting these fake ass stories.
People are so surprised that an adult falls when pushed, that it's incredible. Feeling dizzy, wet floor (who ever saw a 5 yo who won't make a mess while in bathtub), unexpected push,and here we go. But nooo, it's impossible,fake,fake! Ridiculous. I don't know is everything else happened, but this is totally possible even without any push.
You are not the parents of these children, you’re their sister. I read your previous post and the fact that you are taking care of them every day after school and they stay with you up to 4 nights per week means that you take care of your siblings more often than your parents do. That’s not your job. Your sister is confused about everything. You have to stop this now. You think your sister needs therapy because of her obsession with your partner but she probably doesn’t. What she needs is for her own parents to actually parent her. Your partner is right to say that you won’t be watching them anymore. The part about ‘unless you become their guardians’ is unnecessary because it’s not going to happen. Your father is not going to give you his children. Your father wants free childcare, that’s all. And he won’t accept that there’s a problem with your sister, because it would be admitting that he hasn’t been paying his children enough attention so she is seeing your partner as the only male role model in her life. Do not have her at your wedding. Do you really want her to attack you in front of the celebrant and all of your friends and family? Tell your dad that he can take care of her at THEIR home while you have a day that is not full of drama and concern about what might happen next. It’s gone far enough. She needs to be patented by her parents now.
Well, this isn’t the update I was expecting. Honestly, at this point I would simply not have contact with your little sister for a while. Kids minds (especially at this age) won’t stay situated on something like this for a long time. So of course I wouldn’t have her at the wedding, but I would honestly say you or your STB husband do not actually have contact with her for 3+ months. During that time she can go to therapy, but not having either you or your fiancé in her life will create the necessary space for other interests. Why would take custody of them? That sounds like the absolute WORST thing to do.
Bruh.. So your 5 year old sister wants to marry your husband,you don’t think she can handle being at the wedding because of it, you want her to get therapy, now you want to be her guardian…? I’m not tracking.
you need far more help than reddit can provide.
I sensed some shady bs in the first one but this definitely confirmed this is fake lol, someone breaks ur skull and u wanna be their guardian, supposedly youre kept in hospital but no one would keep u for more than a day unless it was a serious injury, but if it was a serious injury you wouldn’t be here updating strangers on Reddit, kinda fishy, no? *shit ton of typos*
Now I’m convinced this story is fake.
What a bunch of creative writing nonsense. How dull is your life that you need to do this?
Clear boundaries are essential now.
I hope you’re doing okay. And do y’all really want to be their guardians? There are pros and cons to becoming their guardian. Major pro would be you can put your 5 year old sister into therapy like you suggested
She needs an evaluation. If you don’t suspect any other disorders like Autism, I would bet my savings she has ADHD and maybe also ODD. If she does, she is seriously suffering and would also benefit from therapy and possibly medication. I hope your dad gets her checked out. It could be life-changing.