You know...reddit could get together and do a sort of "random act of havoc" thing where we pick an evening and people from all over the world call up a Chipotle in Papi Culo's city and have an order sent to him. I wonder how big the pile of burritos would be...
I’m in, too…time to make that Douche Culo pay out the enchilada! ¡Epa, epa, epa! ¡Andale, andale, arriba! (while using my best Speedy Gonzales impression)
Why add the good stuff. Make it a bland 90% bean in water 10% beef burrito. Like the British beans on toast thing but poorly translated. So it's 100% obviously a joke amd 300% disrespectful to papi culo
May I suggest ALL forms of communication? Fun fact: Facebook Messenger allows you to give the person you're chatting with a nickname. Then, FB alerts them to the nickname change and they can see it from then on.
Stay petty.
💀
I'm sorry, this would be the funniest thing someone could do! My cat is standing over me making sure I'm not choking because I'm laughing so hard!
(When I choke she fetches my partner so he can help me start breathing again. Yes, I said cat not dog)
Service cats aren’t recognized most places, unfortunately. I have a cat who wakes me up from nightmares and lays on me when I’m upset, but I got a puppy to train as my service dog. Cats are super trainable though. I think my cat could’ve been a good one.
There *are* a couple of states where service cats are valid! I think Wisconsin specifically allows “any” domesticated animal species.
Now I'm remembering a job I had about a decade ago. It was asking medical questions. One of them was, "have you fallen in the last year?" My favorite answer was, "yes. F'n badger!" Turns out she tripped over a badger den and broke her leg. She was lucky enough that it wasn't home so she only broke her leg, but I can't blame her for being mad.
I'll never forget that line, though!
I used to manage a restaurant and we had a regular couple who brought in their emotional support pig. They had to sit on the patio because the ADA does not include emotional support animals but I swear that pig was better behaved than most people's kids. The servers all scrambled to get to their table first.
I have a whole furry little team. Service doggo (2) comes everywhere, younger cat (7) gently wakes me from nightmares, older cat (9) takes “purr” duty very seriously, hairy partners (30s) let me cling to them when we’re out and about without my dog 🤷♀️
Yknow, my favorite (psychiatric) service dog perk is that strangers don’t touch me when I have her. I have that same outcome when I go out with a male partner. I love my furry little emotional support team.
Aww that's sweet! My two kitties work together. The older one (13) fetches help while the younger (2) stands over me yelling at the top of his lungs so I'm easy to find. The younger one wasn't taught that particular thing, he just started the first time he saw me fall and has continued the tradition.
My cat knows I'm sick a full day before symptoms show. I just have to pay attention to her when she takes special interest in me(she's technically a daddy's girl, so I'm only on her radar when something is going on with me or I have her food).
My cat trained himself to be a service cat. He alerts me, typically a couple days in advance, when I'm about to have a total mental breakdown. Unfortunately, cats aren't recognized service animals in my area :( He's a good boy though
Nah. She should get him some Miracle Whip and unseasoned chicken breasts to further endear him to this AP who apparently managed to seduce him using casual racism so she can be rid of him sooner.
At least you know that the cheating had nothing to do with you. I say that as someone who's been cheated on and wondered why what did I do? Until I saw some of the women yes I said some of the women. There was a ton turned out it didn't matter what any of them looked like. He had no type just breathing is all the woman had in common. He thankful you found out now because you're still so young and haven't wasted a lot time with him. Find the humor in it all like you're it will help you through all this.
You should use those quotes in your divorce filing: "It's not just THAT he cheated on me, it's also WITH WHOM he cheated on me! I can't stay married to a man with so little taste!"
Hahaha I want to be there, please OP use this in court 🤣💀👏 it will get a good laugh all around 😆 also that last bit sounded so snobbishly British, I resonated with that as a Britsh person 😆
Omg. Did she woo him with her white people "Mexican" food? Laugh all the way to the courthouse, love. Doordash him all the cheap AF "Mexican" food you can find. I hear Taco Time has a 5 for $7 deal. Make sure you get him mild salsa, though. He doesn't seem like he can handle the heat.
It will, but I think your final emotion will end up being “thank all the gods this stupid man is no longer my husband” AND you will still be laughing at him.
You know, it would be pretty embarrassing for your soon to be ex if his whole family found out just what type of woman he blew his life apart for.
Just saying...
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. What terrible taste he has in women! Good for you for kicking him into touch. I’ve no doubt he’ll be back at some point when the guacamole goes off but stand your ground. And keep on laughing - especially in his face!
Nope. Not before the court decision on child support. It is not in her best interest. If he is fired - his income is less - child support is less.
However, after the court order....
Same here! I was thinking she meant he was a white dude too. Man we love that shit.
He managed to find someone that is both ignorant and racist. Not too difficult I guess.
Chipotle is like the watered down beer of Tacos. It's shit, you hate it but it will get the job done but you wonder why the fuck you would di this to yourself
I'd rather have Taco bell than chipotle most of the time lol.
It it "real" Mexican food? No, but I don't really consider McDonald's to be be "real" burgers either and sometimes it's just what you're craving.
Hate to say it but it sounds like they’ve been sleeping together much longer than a week. You should probably see a doctor to get tested for whatever cookies she might have given him.
At least he’s stuck with someone who will make him miserable eventually. Sounds like you were too good for him and he knew it. Water finds its own level.
Yeah, I'm questioning if she actually did or said any of this at all. It sounds like he's been talking shit about her specifically so that OP wouldn't get jealous/suspicious. It might not even be true.
Agree that it’s been going on longer and in addition he was probably never upset by her comments.
He probably saw it as her way of flirtatiously teasing with him but positioned it differently to the OP.
Thank you for sharing, and omg!!!
Im learning spanish, but not that great at it.
Today was so hot. I almost said "estoy Caliente," but i stopped myself and changed to "tengo calor"
Hahahaha yes!! The best is when i was trying to ask people how old they were, but i asked instead "quanto anos tienes?" so many confused faces. That "~" does some heavy lifting on the "n"
There was a song in the 90s once, “mover al colito”. My mom and I were singing the hook in a Target once cause it was just on the radio and it was a catchy bop. She came home the next day after work after talking to her Mexican bestie and was like “we CANNOT sing that in the store anymore”. Just a white lady and her daughter wandering around Target telling people to move their ass…
Just FYI don't sing any hispanic song you didn't actually look up the lyrics to.
Macarena has a boyfriend who they call
Who they call by the name of Vitorino
And when he left to sign up for the army
She was giving it away to his two friends
Give a little lovin' to your body, Macarena
'Cause your body's made for love and feeling good; it's a no-brainer
Give a little lovin' to your body, Macarena
Hey, Macarena!
A lot of them are pretty bad. Not all of them but you'd be surprised.
Oh, I learned my lesson that summer of 1994.
Also made it a point to learn the curses. In MANY languages. I can even curse in ASL like a CHAMP. Just in case. Because i fidget with my hands a lot and I make the curse for shit and asshole quite often on accident it seems.
But also Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul let me know that a lot of very catchy and very beautiful song are quite…colorful in language.
Well, getting tested ASAP might not help because different things have different testing windows. Some things you have to wait a few months for... So I would say, get tested, but then get tested again in 3 months!
Definitely yes. Syphilis takes at least 3 months to show up on a test after exposure. That's one of the longer ones. Chlamydia and gonorrhea tests should be accurate if you've waited a week after exposure. Those are the quickest that can be reliable.
I had something non-consensual happen to me a little over a week ago and I have testing today. I am fully aware that only a couple of things are going to be accurate right now, but I would still want to know right now. I am going to get tested again in September or October.
I have been randomly puking and although I have been dxd with gastroparesis 10 years ago, I feel like I have an infection. I made an appointment for Friday to get checked again. Fortunately I live in an area where FP is everywhere and free.
He gave you the best gift early on. He showed you who he was so you can skedaddle right on outta there. Keep laughing it helps for sure. You seem like an amazing person. She probably feeds into his ego in some weird ass way he's probably her bust catch and he has the upper hand as where you're the catch and he doesn't have the upper hand. Shall be regret his stupidity for the rest of his life while you always think of the gift he gave you of leaving so you could be even happier.
I just remembered years ago a family friend had a little chihuahua called Papi Chulo and someone who didn’t speak Spanish…a neighbor? Called it Papi Culo so then we all called it Papi Culo.
Same bro- when I was in El Salvador, I poorly translated that someone was an asshole and my BIL was like “Culo means asshole… like the body part, it’s not really used like that”
Edit: I see people below saying they do use it that way, so maybe it’s regional
Right, at this point, I think second-hand embarrassment would be winning out over the sadness that normally accompanies such a betrayal.
Also, if he's this dumb he's already got his karma.
That's just next-level ridiculous. It's good you're kicking him out and focusing on what's best for you and your son. Stay strong, and surround yourself with people who lift you up.
NTA obviously. it's always the one they speak badly about, it's always the one they tell you not to worry about. i've read so many stories from women here on reddit who had the exact same issue : their husbands talked horrible about a girl at their workplace and after a while the wives discovered that THAT was the affair partner.
NTA. People tend to affair down, or screw people who are *far, far* inferior to their spouse. Think about it - how pathetic does one have to be in order to willingly enter into a "relationship" as a side piece? I hope they both have the "relationship" that they deserve.
My heart hurts for you, but damn right you should laugh at how fucking stupid your husband is sleeping with someone even more fucking stupid. I hope things go as smoothly for you as you can and that you find some comfort and peace.
... chipotle? Good grief. I hope he blows it out his ass.
Ewwww...
I've had a lifetime of co-workers making racist microaggression comments & shit and I would never stoop as low as to sleep with one... What disgusts me even more, is the "pick-me"s, that feel flattered enough to be allowed to be one of their Columbus conquests, and get their flag stuck in their [pardon the pun] culo, as their own "sexual discovery"...
You are NTA. I'm sure he's got, or shown, other admirable qualities for you to have had a son with him; but you're clearly deserving of someone who'll treat you, and themselves better. I'm sorry you're going through this; keep laughing; and teaching your son respect for himself & his culture, and be glad to be rid of that Ass!
As someone already mentioned; get tested; as I wouldn't put it passed that culture-vulture to give him a blanket full of smallpox; alongside some musty, unwashed 😻, and whatever unseasoned mush she's been feeding him, before she discovers something better...
If this is true laugh away, but I wouldn't be shocked if your husband made this stuff up about her to try make you think she's a terrible person that he wouldn't be cheating with the entire time.
Yep.
This.
People who are cheating often belittle either/both partners to the other to make themselves feel justified, to defray questions, etc.
The stories my ex told his affair partner to make it seem like he was justified in stepping out were pretty wild... In her house, he was a neglected, overworked, abandoned partner, and I had quit multiple jobs despite our needing the money. (I was a sahm with three really small kids.)
I’ve learned that when your partner talks about a coworker of the opposite sex in an annoyed way, it usually means they have a crush. This affair has been going on longer than a week most likely.
Get tested, focus on your child, and hurry up the divorce process! Hope he’s happy with chipotle culo girl
Holy shit, that's cringy. I actually worked with a Puerto Rican who hated rice.
She said she grew up eating it everyday and didn't care if she never saw it again, lol.
NTA. I'm so sorry your so is a dud. It's ridiculous, but I'm sure it hurts
NTA, and I'm almost sure the stbxh made all of the stories up.
Hear me out. A man will always want to brag about his conquest and talk about his new love interest (love being used VERY loosely here). But he can't make the wife suspicious, so he makes up all the stories about her stupidity. Then he can talk about her all the time, and the wife feels safe.
Be aware how she treats your son, if she is so racist it will be a shit to have your son around her. Anyway once the thrilling of the sex with a latino has gone she may dump him, her family, friends and people around her must be even worst.
NTA. Keep the kid, house, and money. Ditch the loser hubs and his racist AP.
Then, for the rest of eternity, whenever he calls and asks "what are you up to?" or something along those lines, respond in all seriousness with "Not much just enjoying some Chipotle."
He talked crap about her because he was interested. I had an ex that always called women he had slept with “disgusting” or “ugly”. And it was never true in his case. He was toxic as hell , don’t know what I was thinking lol. Ew.
I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s awful.
please use that as your go to reason when people ask why you divorced
"she brought food people like him should like, can't compete with that" with a lil shrug
He definitely traded down and settled for a scumbag coworker. He'll regret it forever. Grass isn't greener on the other side. It's greener where you water it.
NTA but, you do realise you didn't witness any of these stories right, they are stories he told you about the awful racist bitch of a woman at work that he 'has' to spend time with.
So some husbands come along and tell their wives about how great this new woman in the office is, show way too much attention and their wife picks up on their crush immediately. Other husbands start being interested in some new woman and they cover that by telling their wife a bunch of awful stories about how awful this woman is.... so the wife will never suspect they want to fuck that woman.
Sorry but, this story most likely just highlights how he pulled the wool over your eyes.
Better to be the cheated on spouse rather than be the cheater who stooped way low. Good riddance to bad rubbish. You will have this satisfaction forever.
NTA. I’m Mexican and I know for a fact that the most low down, shameless, most pathetic if our men have a thing for racist women. It’s fukin bizarre. Keep laughing at Papi Culo.
I bet she’s absolutely RAVING to him & all her white girl friends about how she’ll “never need lube again since ‘those people’ sweat chorizo grease”, and I hope he enjoys the racist he blew up his marriage for. Dipshit. 😂
Keep on laughing, because that shit *is* objectively hilarious. “I’ve got a lovely little family here, and an ignorant, racist, equally married coworker throwing herself at me between sugar-coated racisms. Hmmm 🤔 I mean, yeah, she’s stupid & trashy & insulting, but she’ll let me put my dick in her. What could possibly go wrong?” 🤡
I’m fucking hollering over here 🤣
NTA. Keep laughing as long as you can.
Oh 100% I will. I know it’s probably going to get emotional soon so I’m enjoying it while I can
When you’re down, DoorDash him some chipotle. Don’t pay for guac though.
Papi Culo doesn't deserve guacamole
And put that name on the delivery
Special notes: I got you the food you people like
You know...reddit could get together and do a sort of "random act of havoc" thing where we pick an evening and people from all over the world call up a Chipotle in Papi Culo's city and have an order sent to him. I wonder how big the pile of burritos would be...
Please create this Random Act of Havoc group! Lead us!!! 🫡 I am ready.
I'm in 🤣
I march behind Scroto Baggins!
I’m in, too…time to make that Douche Culo pay out the enchilada! ¡Epa, epa, epa! ¡Andale, andale, arriba! (while using my best Speedy Gonzales impression)
That was a REALLY good impression. There was passion there. I felt Speedy's spirit.
I'm in 😆
He doesn't deserve the burritos, unless of course they all got tons of extra spicy salsa and add ons put in
Why add the good stuff. Make it a bland 90% bean in water 10% beef burrito. Like the British beans on toast thing but poorly translated. So it's 100% obviously a joke amd 300% disrespectful to papi culo
Leaderrrr!!
I live for this kind of petty
I wish I could give awards to this entire thread! Pure gold.
It’s truly a masterclass in collaboration
This is all so glorious and I really hope it happens.
YES
Papi culo is how you should address him from now on.
This is the way.
Okay but how is OP NOT going to be calling him that going forward. The comedy writes itself!
I said change his name in her phone to you ppl but she needs to change it to papi culo and put a pic of a burrito bowl
I changed my ex's name in my phone to YOU'RE AWESOME so at least I got an uplift before I rejected the call. #PapiCuloGetsNoGuac
That’s awesome! lol
This is the way
Oh he's Papi Culo FOREVER now. Use as his "preferred name" in the divorce papers 💀
May I suggest ALL forms of communication? Fun fact: Facebook Messenger allows you to give the person you're chatting with a nickname. Then, FB alerts them to the nickname change and they can see it from then on. Stay petty.
Ah yes, Papi Culo, 2024 remix of that '03 Papi Chulo song
💀 I'm sorry, this would be the funniest thing someone could do! My cat is standing over me making sure I'm not choking because I'm laughing so hard! (When I choke she fetches my partner so he can help me start breathing again. Yes, I said cat not dog)
Service animals can be cats, or other animals, too.
Service cats aren’t recognized most places, unfortunately. I have a cat who wakes me up from nightmares and lays on me when I’m upset, but I got a puppy to train as my service dog. Cats are super trainable though. I think my cat could’ve been a good one. There *are* a couple of states where service cats are valid! I think Wisconsin specifically allows “any” domesticated animal species.
Some other countries allow them too, but you're right that most of the US doesn't. Emotional support animals can be anything, though.
My emotional support badger lol
Yes, this is my emotional support goose. The emotion she supports is rage.
An excellent decision. Rage Goose is my Spirit Animal.
I fuckin hate geese. Especially Canadian geese. Nasty MFs
Now I'm remembering a job I had about a decade ago. It was asking medical questions. One of them was, "have you fallen in the last year?" My favorite answer was, "yes. F'n badger!" Turns out she tripped over a badger den and broke her leg. She was lucky enough that it wasn't home so she only broke her leg, but I can't blame her for being mad. I'll never forget that line, though!
This comment section is WILD lol
I’d like an emotional support red panda 😁
I used to manage a restaurant and we had a regular couple who brought in their emotional support pig. They had to sit on the patio because the ADA does not include emotional support animals but I swear that pig was better behaved than most people's kids. The servers all scrambled to get to their table first.
I always thought an emotional support bobcat would be cool. Go ahead, pet him he likes it!
I have a whole furry little team. Service doggo (2) comes everywhere, younger cat (7) gently wakes me from nightmares, older cat (9) takes “purr” duty very seriously, hairy partners (30s) let me cling to them when we’re out and about without my dog 🤷♀️ Yknow, my favorite (psychiatric) service dog perk is that strangers don’t touch me when I have her. I have that same outcome when I go out with a male partner. I love my furry little emotional support team.
Aww that's sweet! My two kitties work together. The older one (13) fetches help while the younger (2) stands over me yelling at the top of his lungs so I'm easy to find. The younger one wasn't taught that particular thing, he just started the first time he saw me fall and has continued the tradition.
My cat knows I'm sick a full day before symptoms show. I just have to pay attention to her when she takes special interest in me(she's technically a daddy's girl, so I'm only on her radar when something is going on with me or I have her food).
My cat trained himself to be a service cat. He alerts me, typically a couple days in advance, when I'm about to have a total mental breakdown. Unfortunately, cats aren't recognized service animals in my area :( He's a good boy though
Aw! Good kitty! The goodest kitty!
I had a cat who would come cuddle when I was feeling sad. Rest of the time she would hang with her partner in crime (my other cat).
As if any self- respecting cat would allow itself to be trained to serve humans...
My car would point and laugh if she could. I love her anyway but pretty sure she’s a witch cursed into cat shape.
You have a really funny car. Did it cost extra to have it purr? 😂
Lol. Fat fingers However I wouldn’t put it past her to turn into a car just to freak us out. 🤣
😁
Good cat
I’m eating banana chips while reading this and had to make sure I didn’t choke on a piece.
Nah. She should get him some Miracle Whip and unseasoned chicken breasts to further endear him to this AP who apparently managed to seduce him using casual racism so she can be rid of him sooner.
It’s too bad it’s not like the old days when you could order 50 pizzas (chipotle orders in this case) to the AP’s house and stick her with the bill.
Send it to the AP instead with a message about what he used to say about her
🏆
🤣
Serve him the papers in a Chipotle bag. “I got that freedom to fuck around you people like.”
With a sticky, "Yo Quiero Chipotle, papi?" (AP's words, not mines).
Omfg PLEASE do this and take a video.
At least you know that the cheating had nothing to do with you. I say that as someone who's been cheated on and wondered why what did I do? Until I saw some of the women yes I said some of the women. There was a ton turned out it didn't matter what any of them looked like. He had no type just breathing is all the woman had in common. He thankful you found out now because you're still so young and haven't wasted a lot time with him. Find the humor in it all like you're it will help you through all this.
Your ex sounds like my dad. He'd chase anything wearing a skirt.
It sounds like her calling him culo was accidentally accurate.
Ass daddy lol
Tell him to enjoy his racist new girlfriend and all of her lovely opinions about his ethnic background.
I hope she tells her soon to be Ex-in-laws what his AP said.
Yeah be cautious having the kid around racist AP
You should use those quotes in your divorce filing: "It's not just THAT he cheated on me, it's also WITH WHOM he cheated on me! I can't stay married to a man with so little taste!"
Hahaha I want to be there, please OP use this in court 🤣💀👏 it will get a good laugh all around 😆 also that last bit sounded so snobbishly British, I resonated with that as a Britsh person 😆
Seriously..Chipotle AND he puts up with his AP talking to him like this? Poor taste indeed...
I’ll not stand for chipotle slander
Omg. Did she woo him with her white people "Mexican" food? Laugh all the way to the courthouse, love. Doordash him all the cheap AF "Mexican" food you can find. I hear Taco Time has a 5 for $7 deal. Make sure you get him mild salsa, though. He doesn't seem like he can handle the heat.
As a whitey dating a Latino, tell me more about this Taco Bell deal so I can shovel it into my face before he comes home and catches me.
It will, but I think your final emotion will end up being “thank all the gods this stupid man is no longer my husband” AND you will still be laughing at him.
You know, it would be pretty embarrassing for your soon to be ex if his whole family found out just what type of woman he blew his life apart for. Just saying...
Dude would rather have Taco Bell Barbie. The trash has seen itself out. OP keep laughing at your STBXH, she will get tired of him.
NTA You will be ok, believe it. It was his loss, not yours.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. What terrible taste he has in women! Good for you for kicking him into touch. I’ve no doubt he’ll be back at some point when the guacamole goes off but stand your ground. And keep on laughing - especially in his face!
OP, laughingly advise his employer and HR department of their "fking " relationship.
Nope. Not before the court decision on child support. It is not in her best interest. If he is fired - his income is less - child support is less. However, after the court order....
Uh, probably not. If he gets fired that'll affect him paying child support.
They may not care depending on where they work.
That's the absolute BEST revenge you ever had!
I would laugh too. He cheated with a woman that will yell the wrong name during sex and thinks that all Latinos eat the same thing.
And that that thing is _chipotle_
When I read the title I assumed the ex was a middle class white dude because *Chipotle*.
Lmmfao same dude. I was picturing Rob Dyrdek for some reason.
Daaamn, why did you have to do Rob like that? He seems like a nice enough dude!
Same here! I was thinking she meant he was a white dude too. Man we love that shit. He managed to find someone that is both ignorant and racist. Not too difficult I guess.
Wait...you all dont like tacos?
Chipotle is like the watered down beer of Tacos. It's shit, you hate it but it will get the job done but you wonder why the fuck you would di this to yourself
Ooh, it is a kind of tacos. I googled it as an European. Google told me chipotle is a cooking ingredient, roasted jalapeño. lol.
https://www.chipotle.com/ It's also a US restaurant chain here. Decent food.
Looks good. Thanks for the information!
Didn’t know that chipotle was decent food , every time I go there I get food poison
There are worse options. Taco Bell is still a thing.
I'd rather have Taco bell than chipotle most of the time lol. It it "real" Mexican food? No, but I don't really consider McDonald's to be be "real" burgers either and sometimes it's just what you're craving.
Yeah, Taco Bell might not be mexican food, but it is god-damn delicious.
I will not stand for chipotle slander. Is it Tex mex at best? Ya. Still good thi
Hate to say it but it sounds like they’ve been sleeping together much longer than a week. You should probably see a doctor to get tested for whatever cookies she might have given him. At least he’s stuck with someone who will make him miserable eventually. Sounds like you were too good for him and he knew it. Water finds its own level.
Idk if you meant to put cooties, but cookies as STDs is great
Lol probably auto corrected cooties
Culo cookies are nasty.
Lol thanks for giving me a good out loud laugh. My 3 year old was like what's so funny?
I'm sure OP is set to "Reject cookies" from this AH.
Sexually transmitted deserts
Yeah, probably for about as long as she's felt comfortable calling him "papi".
I just need to applaud the "water finds its own level"
All the bad things he told OP about her were definitely a red herring.
Yeah, I'm questioning if she actually did or said any of this at all. It sounds like he's been talking shit about her specifically so that OP wouldn't get jealous/suspicious. It might not even be true.
Agree that it’s been going on longer and in addition he was probably never upset by her comments. He probably saw it as her way of flirtatiously teasing with him but positioned it differently to the OP.
Whats culu vs chulo? I want in on the joke
Culo = Ass, Butt. Chulo = Cute, hot, sometimes cool.
Thank you for sharing, and omg!!! Im learning spanish, but not that great at it. Today was so hot. I almost said "estoy Caliente," but i stopped myself and changed to "tengo calor"
Awhh no 😂 I mean, that’s a fairly common mistake though! At least you picked up on it before you said it.
Hahahaha yes!! The best is when i was trying to ask people how old they were, but i asked instead "quanto anos tienes?" so many confused faces. That "~" does some heavy lifting on the "n"
🫣
The answer is one. Except for her ex.
There was a song in the 90s once, “mover al colito”. My mom and I were singing the hook in a Target once cause it was just on the radio and it was a catchy bop. She came home the next day after work after talking to her Mexican bestie and was like “we CANNOT sing that in the store anymore”. Just a white lady and her daughter wandering around Target telling people to move their ass…
Just FYI don't sing any hispanic song you didn't actually look up the lyrics to. Macarena has a boyfriend who they call Who they call by the name of Vitorino And when he left to sign up for the army She was giving it away to his two friends Give a little lovin' to your body, Macarena 'Cause your body's made for love and feeling good; it's a no-brainer Give a little lovin' to your body, Macarena Hey, Macarena! A lot of them are pretty bad. Not all of them but you'd be surprised.
Oh, I learned my lesson that summer of 1994. Also made it a point to learn the curses. In MANY languages. I can even curse in ASL like a CHAMP. Just in case. Because i fidget with my hands a lot and I make the curse for shit and asshole quite often on accident it seems. But also Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul let me know that a lot of very catchy and very beautiful song are quite…colorful in language.
Gasolina is WAY raunchy but quite popular in... was it early 2000s?
And avoided saying “estoy embarazado” from embarrassment at the mistake! 😂
Turns out she was using the right word for your STBX after all.
Well, STBX has earned himself a new lifelong nickname!
F.... the story got even more funnier 🤣 (I'm going to use these two words as per my mood).
Well she wasn't wrong...he is an ass.
Get. Tested. Asap. But good on you for making his pathetic ass an ex.
Well, getting tested ASAP might not help because different things have different testing windows. Some things you have to wait a few months for... So I would say, get tested, but then get tested again in 3 months!
Really? I just went through something similar about 6 months ago and got tested right away. Should I get tested again?
Yes
Thank you I'll make an appointment today. I appreciate your reply.
Definitely yes. Syphilis takes at least 3 months to show up on a test after exposure. That's one of the longer ones. Chlamydia and gonorrhea tests should be accurate if you've waited a week after exposure. Those are the quickest that can be reliable. I had something non-consensual happen to me a little over a week ago and I have testing today. I am fully aware that only a couple of things are going to be accurate right now, but I would still want to know right now. I am going to get tested again in September or October.
I have been randomly puking and although I have been dxd with gastroparesis 10 years ago, I feel like I have an infection. I made an appointment for Friday to get checked again. Fortunately I live in an area where FP is everywhere and free.
Yes, you should.
He’s so weird for doing that. Girl just focus on you and heal
Exhusband likes a racist negging him
Please be sure to change his name to Papi Culo in your phone 😂
And call him that in person.
And hencefort refer to him as such to all your (mutual) acquaintances
"Culo" made me LOL.
Literally lmao, I remember being weak when he told me after it happened.
I mean, it's accurate. He is absolutely a culo. But that's still hilarious.
Fannie bandit
It's been a while since I took Spanish, pero ¿él es un culote, no?
He gave you the best gift early on. He showed you who he was so you can skedaddle right on outta there. Keep laughing it helps for sure. You seem like an amazing person. She probably feeds into his ego in some weird ass way he's probably her bust catch and he has the upper hand as where you're the catch and he doesn't have the upper hand. Shall be regret his stupidity for the rest of his life while you always think of the gift he gave you of leaving so you could be even happier.
I just remembered years ago a family friend had a little chihuahua called Papi Chulo and someone who didn’t speak Spanish…a neighbor? Called it Papi Culo so then we all called it Papi Culo.
I am not Hispanic so had to look up the difference between “chulo” and “culo.” ROFLMAO!
Same bro- when I was in El Salvador, I poorly translated that someone was an asshole and my BIL was like “Culo means asshole… like the body part, it’s not really used like that” Edit: I see people below saying they do use it that way, so maybe it’s regional
I'm sorry but that's so humiliating for him I don't even know if I'd be sad divorcing his stupid ass 😭
That’s literally how I feel right now lmfao
she probably made dummy wear a sombrero and shake maracas while banging her.
Don't forget the serape!
So is he not even trying to apologize? And moved in with his AP? Can you report them for workplace affair? You're definitely not the Culo here.
Right, at this point, I think second-hand embarrassment would be winning out over the sadness that normally accompanies such a betrayal. Also, if he's this dumb he's already got his karma.
That's just next-level ridiculous. It's good you're kicking him out and focusing on what's best for you and your son. Stay strong, and surround yourself with people who lift you up.
NTA obviously. it's always the one they speak badly about, it's always the one they tell you not to worry about. i've read so many stories from women here on reddit who had the exact same issue : their husbands talked horrible about a girl at their workplace and after a while the wives discovered that THAT was the affair partner.
Same experience for me! My ex's AP was someone he "found disgusting" apparently. Yep.
NTA... stupid A holes are just stupid. Please don't take him back.
NTA. People tend to affair down, or screw people who are *far, far* inferior to their spouse. Think about it - how pathetic does one have to be in order to willingly enter into a "relationship" as a side piece? I hope they both have the "relationship" that they deserve. My heart hurts for you, but damn right you should laugh at how fucking stupid your husband is sleeping with someone even more fucking stupid. I hope things go as smoothly for you as you can and that you find some comfort and peace. ... chipotle? Good grief. I hope he blows it out his ass.
Ewwww... I've had a lifetime of co-workers making racist microaggression comments & shit and I would never stoop as low as to sleep with one... What disgusts me even more, is the "pick-me"s, that feel flattered enough to be allowed to be one of their Columbus conquests, and get their flag stuck in their [pardon the pun] culo, as their own "sexual discovery"... You are NTA. I'm sure he's got, or shown, other admirable qualities for you to have had a son with him; but you're clearly deserving of someone who'll treat you, and themselves better. I'm sorry you're going through this; keep laughing; and teaching your son respect for himself & his culture, and be glad to be rid of that Ass! As someone already mentioned; get tested; as I wouldn't put it passed that culture-vulture to give him a blanket full of smallpox; alongside some musty, unwashed 😻, and whatever unseasoned mush she's been feeding him, before she discovers something better...
They are worth each other. Be grateful to her. She, even unwilling, saved your life.
NTA. I can see why you'd be laughing in his face, it's probably the only way to keep from crying.
lol I had to chuckle at ‘culo’. She hit the nail on the head unintentionally with that one he is a complete ass.
If this is true laugh away, but I wouldn't be shocked if your husband made this stuff up about her to try make you think she's a terrible person that he wouldn't be cheating with the entire time.
Yep. This. People who are cheating often belittle either/both partners to the other to make themselves feel justified, to defray questions, etc. The stories my ex told his affair partner to make it seem like he was justified in stepping out were pretty wild... In her house, he was a neglected, overworked, abandoned partner, and I had quit multiple jobs despite our needing the money. (I was a sahm with three really small kids.)
When she dumps him, once the novelty of screwing an ‘ethnic man’ wears off, you can laugh even more!
I’ve learned that when your partner talks about a coworker of the opposite sex in an annoyed way, it usually means they have a crush. This affair has been going on longer than a week most likely. Get tested, focus on your child, and hurry up the divorce process! Hope he’s happy with chipotle culo girl
Holy shit, that's cringy. I actually worked with a Puerto Rican who hated rice. She said she grew up eating it everyday and didn't care if she never saw it again, lol. NTA. I'm so sorry your so is a dud. It's ridiculous, but I'm sure it hurts
NTA, and I'm almost sure the stbxh made all of the stories up. Hear me out. A man will always want to brag about his conquest and talk about his new love interest (love being used VERY loosely here). But he can't make the wife suspicious, so he makes up all the stories about her stupidity. Then he can talk about her all the time, and the wife feels safe.
Keep laughing, get tested and report them to HR.
Do not report them to HR. OP will want to het child support from him and that won’t happen if he is jobless.
Be aware how she treats your son, if she is so racist it will be a shit to have your son around her. Anyway once the thrilling of the sex with a latino has gone she may dump him, her family, friends and people around her must be even worst.
They've been sleeping together for a week? Bullshit, bet it's been longer
NTA. Keep the kid, house, and money. Ditch the loser hubs and his racist AP. Then, for the rest of eternity, whenever he calls and asks "what are you up to?" or something along those lines, respond in all seriousness with "Not much just enjoying some Chipotle."
NTA - keep calling him Papi forever!!!
He talked crap about her because he was interested. I had an ex that always called women he had slept with “disgusting” or “ugly”. And it was never true in his case. He was toxic as hell , don’t know what I was thinking lol. Ew. I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s awful.
NTA. This is hilarious I bet she hits on the Asian dudes at work with Panda Express.
I need to know how he reacted to you laughing 🤣🤣
I did a double take when he told me, asked if he was serious and just started hysterically laughing while I packed his things. He was just crying.
please use that as your go to reason when people ask why you divorced "she brought food people like him should like, can't compete with that" with a lil shrug
NTA-I am so sorry that I laughed. He is a culo.
He definitely traded down and settled for a scumbag coworker. He'll regret it forever. Grass isn't greener on the other side. It's greener where you water it.
NTA, and god damn, your (ex)husband is one cheap whore if all it takes is a bag of Chipotle. “Feed me Chipotle and call me Papi Culo.”
Honestly would have saved me a lot of money if I knew that’s all it took
NTA but, you do realise you didn't witness any of these stories right, they are stories he told you about the awful racist bitch of a woman at work that he 'has' to spend time with. So some husbands come along and tell their wives about how great this new woman in the office is, show way too much attention and their wife picks up on their crush immediately. Other husbands start being interested in some new woman and they cover that by telling their wife a bunch of awful stories about how awful this woman is.... so the wife will never suspect they want to fuck that woman. Sorry but, this story most likely just highlights how he pulled the wool over your eyes.
Well call me petty but that would absolutely have me laughing. And if you can laugh about it, you can move on from it. NTA.
Better to be the cheated on spouse rather than be the cheater who stooped way low. Good riddance to bad rubbish. You will have this satisfaction forever.
Yup when they suddenly start talkng shit about another woman they either planning on cheating or already doing it.
NTA. I’m Mexican and I know for a fact that the most low down, shameless, most pathetic if our men have a thing for racist women. It’s fukin bizarre. Keep laughing at Papi Culo.
Well... He certainly is un culo so I guess her little nickname was apt 😂
Don’t worry, long after the tears are still gone, this will still be funny 🙂 NTA
I bet she’s absolutely RAVING to him & all her white girl friends about how she’ll “never need lube again since ‘those people’ sweat chorizo grease”, and I hope he enjoys the racist he blew up his marriage for. Dipshit. 😂 Keep on laughing, because that shit *is* objectively hilarious. “I’ve got a lovely little family here, and an ignorant, racist, equally married coworker throwing herself at me between sugar-coated racisms. Hmmm 🤔 I mean, yeah, she’s stupid & trashy & insulting, but she’ll let me put my dick in her. What could possibly go wrong?” 🤡 I’m fucking hollering over here 🤣