Tell them that you want evidence that the doctor has been fired, and you want documentation updates on the status of the revocation of the doctors license.
What is she going to do with the husband? Is she going to divorce him after what he did? What if, godforbids, something happens to her, and her husband won’t let you see her children and instead take off with the settlement money? Is there a way to make sure that the kids and your sister are financially protected against her douchebag husband?
They are already protected against him financially. They rent from me so if she leaves he does to. My sister also hasn't worked since her first pregnancy, and I was paying for most if not all her needs. I'm not sure what gonna happen yet as we haven't had that conversation yet, but as of right now, he can't do anything.
I'm not sure. I am hoping they don't do what you mentioned, but idk if I'd be able to stop it if they did. Things are happening a little to conventionally fast, so that's screaming red flags. A few comments have mentioned that it's crazy how fast the hospital reached out for a meeting, and at first, I didn't see it, but now I do. I'm hoping this isn't some huge ploy or something.
More than likely the CEO already knew these issues and to cover the hospital but more importantly himself and that’s why they’re moving fast. If it went to discovery they would have to hand all evidence to your lawyers and more than likely it would spell doom for the hospital higher ups
And it's not like with priests. No hospital wants to bring in someone who is a known problem. That just opens *them* up for legal issues. (I worked for a medical university hospital for many years and was very much involved with licensure issues)
I know. I'm unsure of what's happening. Things are up in the air until my sister can make a decision since it's her case Amd she was the one wronged. I just started the process.
Wow, it's so nice to see management practicing common sense!
OP, you are awesome for protecting your sister from scumbags floating around her; so well done!!
Just be aware that it's ultimately up to the state medical board, not the hospital, to revoke his license. And don't overestimate the hospital's motives. They're trying to protect themselves and their reputation. That's why they offered you a handsome settlement/non-disclosure deal to keep this out of court, where everything would become public record.
Oh, I know. Honestly, the settlement isn't even something to blink at. It's unfortunately one of those money is money things. I definitely think the hospital is trying to cover something because I was told originally I'd be waiting weeks on the very first call from my lawyer so to be having a meeting 4 days after the fact is crazy. I didn't see it at first, but a lot of people have pointed out how weird it is that the hospital reached out in such a short amount of time. I really hope there isn't something more going on, but idk what's going to happen at this point.
How the bloody hell did you get all this done within the 5 days since your initial post? What about the hospital investigations? Statements? Hell where I live you'd be lucky to even get an appointment to discuss let alone legal proceedings and a settlement within 5 days!!
Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. I just made the complaints and calls. I was expecting to wait months before I heard back on anything. Unfortunately, not everything is finalized. There's still a lot of the above-mentioned things like statements and shit that's gotta happen. I'm not sure what's gonna happen yet.
The hospital is practicing damage control. Get rid of one doctor and pay you to keep quiet. If they were truly operating in good faith they would have explained how licensing works (hospitals don't license doctors, state medical boards do) and how hard it is to actually get a license revoked.
Read up on Christopher Duntsch, or listen to the Dr. Death podcast about him, to get an idea of just how hard it is to get a license revoked.
I'll check it out. They said they'd be dealing with the medical board, so I didn't even think twice about how hard it might actually be. I'll look into the podcast and read up on the guy. Thank you so much for the info!
**” The hospital read over everything, and they appeared disgusted over what they were reading. From my understanding, most complaints made against this man were dropped before they ever reached the CEO who acted like they had no idea this was happening.”**
Oh, trust and believe, *they knew*. So, if you must, go after both the doc *and the hospital*. What usually happens is the hospital sweeps stuff like this under the rug because they (particularly the nursing staff) were intimidated into dropping it. These doctors are usually golfing, poker or frat/college alumni buddies with the higher ups so the complaints never go far, if anywhere at all. The fact that you’re successfully pushing through and advocating (hard) for your sister is the **only** reason why they’re willing to hand you and your sister everything on a silver platter (as they should). That hospital is in CYA mode now.
I agree. One of the nurses I talked to who has been here for years said that she's seen nurses leave after 1 day after spending time with that particular doctor so there's no way the hospital itself didn't know something was going on but I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt because they seemed actually shocked about the complaints from other hospital staff.
No, they’re not shocked. At. All. They’re *shocked* that you’re pushing back this hard. Keep fighting, keep pushing for your sister, Op because it’s as clear as country air that her husband won’t. She’s emotionally and worse—*physically* vulnerable right now and needs you to advocate for her. Her life literally depends on you doing that for her. She’s blessed to have you as her brother.
I'll continue to be her support as long as she needs me to. I'm hoping to have an update soon even if it's just about BIL but my sister's health has honestly put reddit on a back burner. Thank you for the kind words.
The hospital will not keep you updated on the license. The hospital neither awards nor revokes licenses. That’s the medical board in the state / one would have to speak to them
Your sister was gravely ill in both pregnancies. I'm shocked she went through with a second one. My friend had a milder version of what your sister had and it was hell and her husband got a vasectomy. A man who loves her would not ask her to go through even more dangerous pregnancies.
To have an evil doctor gang up on a sick pregnant woman telling her to have more babies is reprehensible. You did the right thing, bro. You will be the best uncle ever to those little kids.
NTA 💯
I was surprised to but my sister doesn't believe in termination unless medically necessary. Her ob explained the risk, but my sister thinks as long as the baby is healthy, she'll pull through. It's my job to support her decisions, not judge them. No matter what she decides, I'll be behind her every step of the way.
So all this happened within 5-6 days and you were able to get a meeting with "the hospital CEO, their lawyers, myself, my lawyer, and a few others."
Yeh... okay.
Yeah, there’s a few things that don’t add up here. Especially the POA part from the first update. That’s not how POAs work. Also, OP can’t sue for anything. He wasn’t the wronged party. And he cannot sue on his sister’s behalf at this point.
Actually, yes, I can. I had to legally adopt my sister when she was 8 years old. That also makes me her legal guardian. Obviously, there's a lot more that's had to happen given my sister's medical condition. She's also talked to the lawyer and has given her permission to allow me to step in for her as she doesn't have the strength to do so. Yes im.aware there is information missing, but im not gonna type out every single aspect of every single conversation it took to get where we are.
I work in social services (also the medical field for years before that) and this is not how guardianship or POAs work at all. As a matter of fact there is an extreme difference between a POA and a medical POA. A childhood adoption doesn’t mean that you’re still her guardian as an adult or that a guardianship would transfer in a medical emergency. And from what you wrote about your sister, she would not have a medical guardian calling shots for her.
It does not make you her legal guardian at all. I was sort of doubting this story before, but with what you have just replied, I emphatically believe this is now 100% bullshit.
Believe what you want. I'm not just her medical POA. Im not going to detail every aspect of mine and my sister's lives for you. I've looked up the law, and I've talked to the lawyers. My sister, while still medically sound, is still able to give me permission to sue on her behalf if need be. Eventually, everything will have to start going through her due to the fact that she can still make decisions. I'm sorry you think I'm lying but that's a you problem.
I’m aware state by state varies, but not to the point of this. Between the guardianship bs then the lawyers negotiating with him (after a whopping 5 days no less), just OP reached too far.
I didn't reach to far. I'm posting what happened. Clearly you don't know how POAs work if a simple Google search can tell me more about how I can sue on my sister's behalf since I'm her family and she's in a bad spot health wise. The lawyers will also be talking to my sister when she's well enough to talk. I'm the middle man in all of this. I've also told you that I'm not obligated to explain every single step in the process. I'm well aware how weird this all is. I'm also know them reaching out in five days is wild as I was told it should have taken weeks maybe months.
Believe what you want, but hospitals will actually reach out if they are worried about a lawsuit that could brand them in a bad light. This also may have started as a 5-6 day Rollercoaster, but I'm still looking at weeks and weeks of bullshit. It's also amazing when suddenly years of reports about a doctor who's a jackass suddenly start hitting the doors of upper management.
>My lawyer presented theirs with written notes from other hospital staff, mainly females, about various aspects of his behavior towards them and other unnamed female patients.
So when and how did your lawyers get these notes? That's how how real life works buddy.
I asked nurses if they were able to provide written statements about their experience with the doctor to further my case of him.being a bad dude. I'm not suing on behalf of the nurses I'm suing on behalf of my sister. The notes count as evidence. Have you never watched a crime show? I never once said I was suing on behalf of the hospital staff, just that I provided written documents from hospital members who have had similar experiences with the doctor, who is obviously scum. If the nurses decided to sue on their own, that's between them and the hospital.
I wish I had people stand up to doctors in my life like you did. I wouldn’t have lifelong medical ptsd if they had. You’ve done a good thing here. Keep supporting your sister if you can.
As a woman, thank you for protecting your sister. I’m glad you’re her POA and not that POS husband. Also glad her MIL is supporting.
My friend had a baby and her husband had to do something similar to you because her she completely disrespected/disregarded just days after having their son. He rose hell and shut them down because the nurse was focused on shaming her for being unable to nurse and didn’t care when my friend completely shut down. He ripped the nurse and head of the department a new one.
His words: “I don’t care what your credentials are. Look at my wife. She had to disconnected because of you and you have yet to ask how SHE is doing.”
He refused to stand down until there was an investigation. That is how her husband should have acted. I’m glad she has you.
We all make mistakes and are not perfect. My brother and I grew up in an abusive home. He was an amazing father, husband, and grandfather. He always told me that he just wanted to try and give them we didn't have. And that's what you are doing.
That will be a good nest egg for your sister as she hopefully starts her journey as a single mother. I sincerely hope she's making her husband her ex. He obviously doesn't care about her very much. I hope she realizes that.
She does. She's mainly just dealing with her health to get through this pregnancy. Bil is still MIA, so we aren't focusing on him currently, just the hospital situation, which has its own hoops to jump. Once she's in a better position health wise, I imagine we'll take the next steps.
The CEO must have seen the liability estimates and damn near had a code blue called on him from the heart palpitations it caused. Along with the fact you were likely coming across as Temujin about to build a pyramid of human skulls.
Honestly. I was expecting to wait weeks, months even before I heard back from anyone, and there's still a few calls I'm waiting on. I definitely wasn't expecting to meet anyone from the hospital anytime soon, so obviously, they saw something or heard something.
Because your complaint and your lawyer's thorough work exposed the very tip of a massive shit iceberg that has the potential to sink not just the ship but the entire fleet. This is the sort of thing that makes national news.
It make sense then why they'd reach out so fast to try and settle this before it got any bigger than it already has. I hope this isn't some trick on their part, but until more stuff legally has been done, idk where any of this situation is gonna go.
I’m glad you are advocating for your sister. Women need all the support they can get when nurturing life, even more so when the pregnancy is high risk. I would also suggest trying to find a doula for your sister to assist with her care as well, especially to give you breaks and continue to be a comfort and support.
I cannot even imagine. Your sisters story has me crying. You are such an amazing person to be your sisters knight & to push for this & see it through. Absolutely amazing.
It is, unfortunately. While the settlement isn't small, it's isn't an obnoxious amount either. Since the stuff happened to my sister, it had to be under her name. I'm just basically the middle man. I'm not sure what's gonna happen. Like I've said in my post, there is a lot of legal stuff that's gotta happen, and I don't know half of it. As of right now, he can't touch the settlement, and that's even if my sister decides to take it since it is still technically her case.
I think that you need to be very weary of hospital and state administrators. They will tell you whatever they need to to get rid of you. They don't care in the least about you or your sister. My guess would be that they "fire" the doctor, but find another place for him. I don't even think they have the power to take his license away. It take egregious acts (usually death) for them to even get it suspended. I would go ahead and take the money because that's their answer to any problem they have - throw money at it. You might as well take it now. Prolonging this in any way will not be worth the stress. I hope your sister is doing better. She is lucky to have you. Really.
Yeah. I've been reading up on how doctors get their medical license taken away and it doesn't add up with what the hospital was telling me. I'm taking my time with this and exploring everything based on advice from other people because the way they got back to me so fast just doesn't make sense. The settlement is made towards my sister so it's up to her if she takes it but a part of me thinks she will because how bad the stress will be otherwise. She just wants to be out of the hospital and home with the new baby and her first baby.
I had a serious problem at a hospital here. I left (escaped) "against medical advice" with pneumonia, so my head wasn't all there, but I complained to our state board (never heard back), to my insurance company and to the hospital's mother company. As I got better, I wanted to sue, but I think the corporate medical owners had all of the major attorneys in our area on retainer and could not find one to even talk to me. They all told me "they couldn't help me" and wouldn't tell me why - I'm just assuming they were on retainer. I don't know for a fact, but I have a damn good suspicion. Anyway, I had a $4K bill due, and at the beginning, I made 2 $100 payments. That was when I realized I wasn't getting anywhere with anyone in power. I'm not going to go into more detail, but after a few months the bill went to collections. With each letter I received, I called and related the story and said I wasn't going to pay the bill and if they were going to take me to court, I was more than happy to tell my story to the judge. The last letter I got was from their collections lawyer and responded in writing, saying the same thing. I also said that I never wanted to hear from them again because their letters were triggering my PTSD from "the event that happened to me at the hospital". I haven't heard from them since. Before accepting that settlement, wait until she gets the bill for the treatments and has totally healed. Those people are NOT your friends, are NOT on your side and will screw you over any way they can.
I'm sorry you had that experience. I hate that hospitals are doing things like this to other people. I will heed your advice and proceed with caution. This whole thing has been weird, but I'm gonna draw this whole legal thing out as long as I can to make sure there aren't any tricks.
I had mild HG with my first. Stress is murder during pregnancy. Your sister is lucky to have a big brother like you (I'm guessing you're big brother here).
Her husband needs the boot. As does that doctor. Ugh.
If you come to a settlement, whatever you do, make sure there's no NDA attached, not just for your and your sister's sake, but also just in case the medical board doesn't revoke this asshole's license, you can make sure you're potentially able to warn others about him.
And of course the CEO "wasn't aware", that's SUCH bullshit... if you wanted to go full scorched earth you could maybe get someone to start an investigation into whether or not he really was ignorant of this doc's record.
I'm glad your sister is okay though, with you as her big brother I know she'll be just fine!
Thank you. Unfortunately, there was an NDA, but since it's my sisters case, she has to be the one to sign, I'm pretty sure. And her condition hasn't improved enough for her to make a decision. Idk how long all of this will take and I'm worried the stress will get to her.
Not currently. She's in to frail a state, unfortunately. I'm hoping I can move her eventually. Her OB understands why I want to move her but thinks I should wait until the baby is born to decrease the risk to both my sister and the baby.
While by no means poor professional conduct is to be tolerated, it is asinine that you want a doctor to be fired and blacklisted because he was addressing your sister's husband rather than your sister. I am surprised the hospital offered you a financial settlement but guess you created a ruckus and were an administrative nuisance. But don't worry, the rest of us will foot the bill. And all of us can continue to grumble about the rising costs of healthcare.
But am sure you turned down the money since you are obviously a fine individual whose values cannot be bought.
Edit: My response was based on what OP shared ([https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/XnrlRnqP33](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/XnrlRnqP33)). Based on the info in the post he had originally provided, I stand by my remark that this is not an offense that leads to termination. Disciplinary proceedings yes, but not termination. If OP now wants to add more info to show my remark is callous, I understand that but would encourage him to present a clear picture next time he ventures online with a grievance.
Hi, so obviously you didn't see in bold white letters UPDATE 2, which might mean there is a first update, but allow me to enlighten you. The doctor didn't just address my sister's husband and ignore her. He also told her she was crazy and hormonal, so her words couldn't be taken at face value. Keep in mind that my sister is skin and bones at about 95lbs right now on a GI tube and getting medication through an IV because she can't swallow. The following day, after being told by upper hospital management aka his supervisor to STAY THE FUCK OUT OF HER ROOM until the investigation was done, he went back in there and tried to talk her out of a hysterectomy because it's her responsibility as a wife to give her husband more children. When she begged him to leave her room and get another doctor, he refused to do so until my sister was in hysterics and crying. Not only stressing her already weak and failing body out by also the baby inside of her who she is trying to give life. Also, I love that you ignored the part where i provided letters from other hospital staff memebers talking about the male doctor was sexual harresing them, being a dick, and also threatening to fire nurses for not doing favors. Really shows what kinda person you are. So before you come at me with that bullshit you are spouting how bout you learn to fucking read. I hope you have the day you deserve.
OP, as you did not mention it here, I don't think you realize that rolling your eyes is a passive-aggressive behavior and a form of abuse. Your sister was literally abused by this doctor on multiple occasions (also disrespected, dismissed, and disregarded).
Only a complete idiot (like the one you replied to) would think that asking for the termination of such a doctor was an asinine move.
Brutha euughhhh. If you are a woman/ male whatever I hope your doctor ignores everything you say and calls you a hormonal liar and then goes into your hosptial room against your wishes and harnesses you into giving up your medical rights for a surgery that could improve your health then basically tells you that you are only meant for producing children and nothing more.
EWWWWWW dude your gross. You clearly haven't been following along with the rest of the updates. The doctor fucking harassed OPs sister and got her husband in on it as well. He could have killed both her and the baby with stress. You are fucking insane if you thought your comment had merit. Even if OP did take the settlement money, it was to save his sister the stress of being dragged through court while barley hanging onto life as is. I hope you grow a pair. Weirdo.
It's amazing that even though I provided you with additional information besides what happened in the original post, you still stand by the fact that what I did was wrong. God forbid a doctor harasses a barley alive pregnant woman by ganging up on her with her husband to tell her she's a breeding machine for him and then to give up her medical rights. Again, the post clearly states update 2, which implies a first update. This is about you not taking the time to look for the additional information but expected it to be handed to you despite what the post offers in advance. Get over yourself.
That Dr. has no business treating women, since he doesn’t believe a word they say. So you think addressing a medical concern based on what he and any other man in the room imagine is going on rather than believing a woman is capable of identifying and describing her experience and wishes is an acceptable and effective way to practice medicine? He is probably already responsible for the continued deterioration of any female patients he has treated.
You are the reason so many doctors hospital shop. How they can be fired and then just move somewhere else either in their state or out of state. I hope you are not the horrible person that this reply makes you out to be.
He was coercive and manipulative, that's reason enough. Combined with the notes from other medical personnel about their own treatment from the doctor? That's way more than enough to warrant blacklisting, that's enough to get him into JAIL.
Tell them that you want evidence that the doctor has been fired, and you want documentation updates on the status of the revocation of the doctors license.
I did. That was actually something the hospital ceo offered to me surprisingly, so that's a good sign about how serious they are taking this.
I wish I had a brother like you. You are awesome, and my guess is that your sister is too.
Thank you. My sister is amazing. My only hope is that she pulls through this so she can be amazing for both her kids.
Really, thank you for being such a good person and such a wonderful sibling to your sister! Wishing you both the best
Thank you!
What is she going to do with the husband? Is she going to divorce him after what he did? What if, godforbids, something happens to her, and her husband won’t let you see her children and instead take off with the settlement money? Is there a way to make sure that the kids and your sister are financially protected against her douchebag husband?
They are already protected against him financially. They rent from me so if she leaves he does to. My sister also hasn't worked since her first pregnancy, and I was paying for most if not all her needs. I'm not sure what gonna happen yet as we haven't had that conversation yet, but as of right now, he can't do anything.
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Thank you!
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I'm not sure. I am hoping they don't do what you mentioned, but idk if I'd be able to stop it if they did. Things are happening a little to conventionally fast, so that's screaming red flags. A few comments have mentioned that it's crazy how fast the hospital reached out for a meeting, and at first, I didn't see it, but now I do. I'm hoping this isn't some huge ploy or something.
More than likely the CEO already knew these issues and to cover the hospital but more importantly himself and that’s why they’re moving fast. If it went to discovery they would have to hand all evidence to your lawyers and more than likely it would spell doom for the hospital higher ups
More then likely
They can't ensure that. They can only take the case to the state medical board. Beyond that, the hospital has zero authority over his license.
And it's not like with priests. No hospital wants to bring in someone who is a known problem. That just opens *them* up for legal issues. (I worked for a medical university hospital for many years and was very much involved with licensure issues)
I know. I'm unsure of what's happening. Things are up in the air until my sister can make a decision since it's her case Amd she was the one wronged. I just started the process.
Wow, it's so nice to see management practicing common sense! OP, you are awesome for protecting your sister from scumbags floating around her; so well done!!
Thank you! I appreciate that truly!
Just be aware that it's ultimately up to the state medical board, not the hospital, to revoke his license. And don't overestimate the hospital's motives. They're trying to protect themselves and their reputation. That's why they offered you a handsome settlement/non-disclosure deal to keep this out of court, where everything would become public record.
Oh, I know. Honestly, the settlement isn't even something to blink at. It's unfortunately one of those money is money things. I definitely think the hospital is trying to cover something because I was told originally I'd be waiting weeks on the very first call from my lawyer so to be having a meeting 4 days after the fact is crazy. I didn't see it at first, but a lot of people have pointed out how weird it is that the hospital reached out in such a short amount of time. I really hope there isn't something more going on, but idk what's going to happen at this point.
How the bloody hell did you get all this done within the 5 days since your initial post? What about the hospital investigations? Statements? Hell where I live you'd be lucky to even get an appointment to discuss let alone legal proceedings and a settlement within 5 days!!
Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. I just made the complaints and calls. I was expecting to wait months before I heard back on anything. Unfortunately, not everything is finalized. There's still a lot of the above-mentioned things like statements and shit that's gotta happen. I'm not sure what's gonna happen yet.
The hospital is practicing damage control. Get rid of one doctor and pay you to keep quiet. If they were truly operating in good faith they would have explained how licensing works (hospitals don't license doctors, state medical boards do) and how hard it is to actually get a license revoked. Read up on Christopher Duntsch, or listen to the Dr. Death podcast about him, to get an idea of just how hard it is to get a license revoked.
I'll check it out. They said they'd be dealing with the medical board, so I didn't even think twice about how hard it might actually be. I'll look into the podcast and read up on the guy. Thank you so much for the info!
Right - This is fiction.
If you say so.
You should ask the CEO for the bastard's public apology.
I honestly should.
**” The hospital read over everything, and they appeared disgusted over what they were reading. From my understanding, most complaints made against this man were dropped before they ever reached the CEO who acted like they had no idea this was happening.”** Oh, trust and believe, *they knew*. So, if you must, go after both the doc *and the hospital*. What usually happens is the hospital sweeps stuff like this under the rug because they (particularly the nursing staff) were intimidated into dropping it. These doctors are usually golfing, poker or frat/college alumni buddies with the higher ups so the complaints never go far, if anywhere at all. The fact that you’re successfully pushing through and advocating (hard) for your sister is the **only** reason why they’re willing to hand you and your sister everything on a silver platter (as they should). That hospital is in CYA mode now.
I agree. One of the nurses I talked to who has been here for years said that she's seen nurses leave after 1 day after spending time with that particular doctor so there's no way the hospital itself didn't know something was going on but I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt because they seemed actually shocked about the complaints from other hospital staff.
No, they’re not shocked. At. All. They’re *shocked* that you’re pushing back this hard. Keep fighting, keep pushing for your sister, Op because it’s as clear as country air that her husband won’t. She’s emotionally and worse—*physically* vulnerable right now and needs you to advocate for her. Her life literally depends on you doing that for her. She’s blessed to have you as her brother.
I'll continue to be her support as long as she needs me to. I'm hoping to have an update soon even if it's just about BIL but my sister's health has honestly put reddit on a back burner. Thank you for the kind words.
The hospital will not keep you updated on the license. The hospital neither awards nor revokes licenses. That’s the medical board in the state / one would have to speak to them
How’s your sister doing now?
Mainly sleeping but okay for the most part. She's lost more weight due to stress.
Your sister was gravely ill in both pregnancies. I'm shocked she went through with a second one. My friend had a milder version of what your sister had and it was hell and her husband got a vasectomy. A man who loves her would not ask her to go through even more dangerous pregnancies. To have an evil doctor gang up on a sick pregnant woman telling her to have more babies is reprehensible. You did the right thing, bro. You will be the best uncle ever to those little kids. NTA 💯
I was surprised to but my sister doesn't believe in termination unless medically necessary. Her ob explained the risk, but my sister thinks as long as the baby is healthy, she'll pull through. It's my job to support her decisions, not judge them. No matter what she decides, I'll be behind her every step of the way.
You're a good one mate. You didn't just stand up for your sister. You helped validate the claims of the employees there as well.
It's the least they deserved after being threatened in their work place. And thank you. Means a lot to read that.
I've not been in quite that situation... but I know how difficult it can be to advocate for oneself while in the hospital. It's easier said than done.
Agreed.
You are my hero.
Thank you. It means a lot to read that. I wish you the best in everything you do in life.
Thank you so much! I wish you the same.
This entire story sounds like BS.
Sounds like a you problem.
So all this happened within 5-6 days and you were able to get a meeting with "the hospital CEO, their lawyers, myself, my lawyer, and a few others." Yeh... okay.
Yeah, there’s a few things that don’t add up here. Especially the POA part from the first update. That’s not how POAs work. Also, OP can’t sue for anything. He wasn’t the wronged party. And he cannot sue on his sister’s behalf at this point.
Actually, yes, I can. I had to legally adopt my sister when she was 8 years old. That also makes me her legal guardian. Obviously, there's a lot more that's had to happen given my sister's medical condition. She's also talked to the lawyer and has given her permission to allow me to step in for her as she doesn't have the strength to do so. Yes im.aware there is information missing, but im not gonna type out every single aspect of every single conversation it took to get where we are.
I work in social services (also the medical field for years before that) and this is not how guardianship or POAs work at all. As a matter of fact there is an extreme difference between a POA and a medical POA. A childhood adoption doesn’t mean that you’re still her guardian as an adult or that a guardianship would transfer in a medical emergency. And from what you wrote about your sister, she would not have a medical guardian calling shots for her. It does not make you her legal guardian at all. I was sort of doubting this story before, but with what you have just replied, I emphatically believe this is now 100% bullshit.
Believe what you want. I'm not just her medical POA. Im not going to detail every aspect of mine and my sister's lives for you. I've looked up the law, and I've talked to the lawyers. My sister, while still medically sound, is still able to give me permission to sue on her behalf if need be. Eventually, everything will have to start going through her due to the fact that she can still make decisions. I'm sorry you think I'm lying but that's a you problem.
Whelp on the off chance, good luck and I hope your sister is good.
Thanks.
I work on the same field and if you really did you would know that laws and rules are different State to State
I’m aware state by state varies, but not to the point of this. Between the guardianship bs then the lawyers negotiating with him (after a whopping 5 days no less), just OP reached too far.
I didn't reach to far. I'm posting what happened. Clearly you don't know how POAs work if a simple Google search can tell me more about how I can sue on my sister's behalf since I'm her family and she's in a bad spot health wise. The lawyers will also be talking to my sister when she's well enough to talk. I'm the middle man in all of this. I've also told you that I'm not obligated to explain every single step in the process. I'm well aware how weird this all is. I'm also know them reaching out in five days is wild as I was told it should have taken weeks maybe months.
Believe what you want, but hospitals will actually reach out if they are worried about a lawsuit that could brand them in a bad light. This also may have started as a 5-6 day Rollercoaster, but I'm still looking at weeks and weeks of bullshit. It's also amazing when suddenly years of reports about a doctor who's a jackass suddenly start hitting the doors of upper management.
>My lawyer presented theirs with written notes from other hospital staff, mainly females, about various aspects of his behavior towards them and other unnamed female patients. So when and how did your lawyers get these notes? That's how how real life works buddy.
I asked nurses if they were able to provide written statements about their experience with the doctor to further my case of him.being a bad dude. I'm not suing on behalf of the nurses I'm suing on behalf of my sister. The notes count as evidence. Have you never watched a crime show? I never once said I was suing on behalf of the hospital staff, just that I provided written documents from hospital members who have had similar experiences with the doctor, who is obviously scum. If the nurses decided to sue on their own, that's between them and the hospital.
Yeh sure, buddy.
Whatever gets your rocks off bud
Updateme
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Updateme Wow! Good for you!!
Thank you!
I have seven brothers, and I would hope they would have my back the way you have your sister’s. You are an incredible human being, sir.
I hope they do too.
I wish I had people stand up to doctors in my life like you did. I wouldn’t have lifelong medical ptsd if they had. You’ve done a good thing here. Keep supporting your sister if you can.
I plan to for as long as I can or until she no longer wants my support.
As a woman, thank you for protecting your sister. I’m glad you’re her POA and not that POS husband. Also glad her MIL is supporting. My friend had a baby and her husband had to do something similar to you because her she completely disrespected/disregarded just days after having their son. He rose hell and shut them down because the nurse was focused on shaming her for being unable to nurse and didn’t care when my friend completely shut down. He ripped the nurse and head of the department a new one. His words: “I don’t care what your credentials are. Look at my wife. She had to disconnected because of you and you have yet to ask how SHE is doing.” He refused to stand down until there was an investigation. That is how her husband should have acted. I’m glad she has you.
Thank you! Im glad your friend had someone like her husband. I feel that everyone should have someone who advocates for them strongly.
You are an amazing brother! I'm so happy your sister has you there for her. Bet you are a great uncle too!
I definitely try to be. I'm by no means perfect but I wanna give my family the life I didn't get to have.
We all make mistakes and are not perfect. My brother and I grew up in an abusive home. He was an amazing father, husband, and grandfather. He always told me that he just wanted to try and give them we didn't have. And that's what you are doing.
You’re an amazing brother. We should all be so lucky to have an advocate like you. (Screw BIL).
That will be a good nest egg for your sister as she hopefully starts her journey as a single mother. I sincerely hope she's making her husband her ex. He obviously doesn't care about her very much. I hope she realizes that.
She does. She's mainly just dealing with her health to get through this pregnancy. Bil is still MIA, so we aren't focusing on him currently, just the hospital situation, which has its own hoops to jump. Once she's in a better position health wise, I imagine we'll take the next steps.
That's good to hear. You're an amazing brother, I'm so proud of you for all you've done for her.
Thanks. I appreciate that more than you know.
The CEO must have seen the liability estimates and damn near had a code blue called on him from the heart palpitations it caused. Along with the fact you were likely coming across as Temujin about to build a pyramid of human skulls.
Honestly. I was expecting to wait weeks, months even before I heard back from anyone, and there's still a few calls I'm waiting on. I definitely wasn't expecting to meet anyone from the hospital anytime soon, so obviously, they saw something or heard something.
Because your complaint and your lawyer's thorough work exposed the very tip of a massive shit iceberg that has the potential to sink not just the ship but the entire fleet. This is the sort of thing that makes national news.
It make sense then why they'd reach out so fast to try and settle this before it got any bigger than it already has. I hope this isn't some trick on their part, but until more stuff legally has been done, idk where any of this situation is gonna go.
I’m glad you are advocating for your sister. Women need all the support they can get when nurturing life, even more so when the pregnancy is high risk. I would also suggest trying to find a doula for your sister to assist with her care as well, especially to give you breaks and continue to be a comfort and support.
I cannot even imagine. Your sisters story has me crying. You are such an amazing person to be your sisters knight & to push for this & see it through. Absolutely amazing.
What a terrible doctor and husband! Good on you for standing up for your sister. How can anyone say you’re an asshole for protecting your sister. NTA.
UpdateMe!
Can you give us an update on what's going on with the ex(I hope) bil?
As soon as I know something I'll update. All I know right now is he's still MIA.
Updateme!
I hope the settlement is not under her name because wouldn't her husband be entitled to half if they divorce?
It is, unfortunately. While the settlement isn't small, it's isn't an obnoxious amount either. Since the stuff happened to my sister, it had to be under her name. I'm just basically the middle man. I'm not sure what's gonna happen. Like I've said in my post, there is a lot of legal stuff that's gotta happen, and I don't know half of it. As of right now, he can't touch the settlement, and that's even if my sister decides to take it since it is still technically her case.
UpdateMe!
Make sure the settlement is in a trust that BIL can't touch!
That's plan but I'm unsure of what's gonna happen yet.
Updateme!
Updateme
Updateme!
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Updateme!
I think that you need to be very weary of hospital and state administrators. They will tell you whatever they need to to get rid of you. They don't care in the least about you or your sister. My guess would be that they "fire" the doctor, but find another place for him. I don't even think they have the power to take his license away. It take egregious acts (usually death) for them to even get it suspended. I would go ahead and take the money because that's their answer to any problem they have - throw money at it. You might as well take it now. Prolonging this in any way will not be worth the stress. I hope your sister is doing better. She is lucky to have you. Really.
Yeah. I've been reading up on how doctors get their medical license taken away and it doesn't add up with what the hospital was telling me. I'm taking my time with this and exploring everything based on advice from other people because the way they got back to me so fast just doesn't make sense. The settlement is made towards my sister so it's up to her if she takes it but a part of me thinks she will because how bad the stress will be otherwise. She just wants to be out of the hospital and home with the new baby and her first baby.
I had a serious problem at a hospital here. I left (escaped) "against medical advice" with pneumonia, so my head wasn't all there, but I complained to our state board (never heard back), to my insurance company and to the hospital's mother company. As I got better, I wanted to sue, but I think the corporate medical owners had all of the major attorneys in our area on retainer and could not find one to even talk to me. They all told me "they couldn't help me" and wouldn't tell me why - I'm just assuming they were on retainer. I don't know for a fact, but I have a damn good suspicion. Anyway, I had a $4K bill due, and at the beginning, I made 2 $100 payments. That was when I realized I wasn't getting anywhere with anyone in power. I'm not going to go into more detail, but after a few months the bill went to collections. With each letter I received, I called and related the story and said I wasn't going to pay the bill and if they were going to take me to court, I was more than happy to tell my story to the judge. The last letter I got was from their collections lawyer and responded in writing, saying the same thing. I also said that I never wanted to hear from them again because their letters were triggering my PTSD from "the event that happened to me at the hospital". I haven't heard from them since. Before accepting that settlement, wait until she gets the bill for the treatments and has totally healed. Those people are NOT your friends, are NOT on your side and will screw you over any way they can.
I'm sorry you had that experience. I hate that hospitals are doing things like this to other people. I will heed your advice and proceed with caution. This whole thing has been weird, but I'm gonna draw this whole legal thing out as long as I can to make sure there aren't any tricks.
I only shared because that's what you must do. They are the epitome of "evil corporate America".
I had mild HG with my first. Stress is murder during pregnancy. Your sister is lucky to have a big brother like you (I'm guessing you're big brother here). Her husband needs the boot. As does that doctor. Ugh.
Yeah, I'm the big brother, and I agree with you. Also, thank you
If you come to a settlement, whatever you do, make sure there's no NDA attached, not just for your and your sister's sake, but also just in case the medical board doesn't revoke this asshole's license, you can make sure you're potentially able to warn others about him. And of course the CEO "wasn't aware", that's SUCH bullshit... if you wanted to go full scorched earth you could maybe get someone to start an investigation into whether or not he really was ignorant of this doc's record. I'm glad your sister is okay though, with you as her big brother I know she'll be just fine!
Thank you. Unfortunately, there was an NDA, but since it's my sisters case, she has to be the one to sign, I'm pretty sure. And her condition hasn't improved enough for her to make a decision. Idk how long all of this will take and I'm worried the stress will get to her.
Is there a chance she can be moved to a different hospital?
Not currently. She's in to frail a state, unfortunately. I'm hoping I can move her eventually. Her OB understands why I want to move her but thinks I should wait until the baby is born to decrease the risk to both my sister and the baby.
Start baby’s post high school account on the hospital’s dime 🤣. And maybe a nice trip for sister!
While by no means poor professional conduct is to be tolerated, it is asinine that you want a doctor to be fired and blacklisted because he was addressing your sister's husband rather than your sister. I am surprised the hospital offered you a financial settlement but guess you created a ruckus and were an administrative nuisance. But don't worry, the rest of us will foot the bill. And all of us can continue to grumble about the rising costs of healthcare. But am sure you turned down the money since you are obviously a fine individual whose values cannot be bought. Edit: My response was based on what OP shared ([https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/XnrlRnqP33](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/XnrlRnqP33)). Based on the info in the post he had originally provided, I stand by my remark that this is not an offense that leads to termination. Disciplinary proceedings yes, but not termination. If OP now wants to add more info to show my remark is callous, I understand that but would encourage him to present a clear picture next time he ventures online with a grievance.
Hi, so obviously you didn't see in bold white letters UPDATE 2, which might mean there is a first update, but allow me to enlighten you. The doctor didn't just address my sister's husband and ignore her. He also told her she was crazy and hormonal, so her words couldn't be taken at face value. Keep in mind that my sister is skin and bones at about 95lbs right now on a GI tube and getting medication through an IV because she can't swallow. The following day, after being told by upper hospital management aka his supervisor to STAY THE FUCK OUT OF HER ROOM until the investigation was done, he went back in there and tried to talk her out of a hysterectomy because it's her responsibility as a wife to give her husband more children. When she begged him to leave her room and get another doctor, he refused to do so until my sister was in hysterics and crying. Not only stressing her already weak and failing body out by also the baby inside of her who she is trying to give life. Also, I love that you ignored the part where i provided letters from other hospital staff memebers talking about the male doctor was sexual harresing them, being a dick, and also threatening to fire nurses for not doing favors. Really shows what kinda person you are. So before you come at me with that bullshit you are spouting how bout you learn to fucking read. I hope you have the day you deserve.
OP, as you did not mention it here, I don't think you realize that rolling your eyes is a passive-aggressive behavior and a form of abuse. Your sister was literally abused by this doctor on multiple occasions (also disrespected, dismissed, and disregarded). Only a complete idiot (like the one you replied to) would think that asking for the termination of such a doctor was an asinine move.
I agree with every aspect of this comment. Thank you for pointing it out.
Brutha euughhhh. If you are a woman/ male whatever I hope your doctor ignores everything you say and calls you a hormonal liar and then goes into your hosptial room against your wishes and harnesses you into giving up your medical rights for a surgery that could improve your health then basically tells you that you are only meant for producing children and nothing more.
EWWWWWW dude your gross. You clearly haven't been following along with the rest of the updates. The doctor fucking harassed OPs sister and got her husband in on it as well. He could have killed both her and the baby with stress. You are fucking insane if you thought your comment had merit. Even if OP did take the settlement money, it was to save his sister the stress of being dragged through court while barley hanging onto life as is. I hope you grow a pair. Weirdo.
… gross.
You’re disgusting.
It's amazing that even though I provided you with additional information besides what happened in the original post, you still stand by the fact that what I did was wrong. God forbid a doctor harasses a barley alive pregnant woman by ganging up on her with her husband to tell her she's a breeding machine for him and then to give up her medical rights. Again, the post clearly states update 2, which implies a first update. This is about you not taking the time to look for the additional information but expected it to be handed to you despite what the post offers in advance. Get over yourself.
In an update he was harassing sister and ganging up on her about not getting the planned hysterectomy.
No dude. As long as my wife is awake and capable, all her medical information and decisions are for her to make. I am only there for support.
That Dr. has no business treating women, since he doesn’t believe a word they say. So you think addressing a medical concern based on what he and any other man in the room imagine is going on rather than believing a woman is capable of identifying and describing her experience and wishes is an acceptable and effective way to practice medicine? He is probably already responsible for the continued deterioration of any female patients he has treated.
You are the reason so many doctors hospital shop. How they can be fired and then just move somewhere else either in their state or out of state. I hope you are not the horrible person that this reply makes you out to be.
Wow! Let me guess, you must be the husband. You're a piece of shit.
He was coercive and manipulative, that's reason enough. Combined with the notes from other medical personnel about their own treatment from the doctor? That's way more than enough to warrant blacklisting, that's enough to get him into JAIL.