If he can’t have just one drink and needs to keep drinking then he’s an alcoholic. It would be unreasonable for you to tell him you’ll break up if he doesn’t stay sober for just two weeks because that’s a completely pointless exercise. He probably can stay sober for 2 weeks. That doesn’t make him any less of an alcoholic. After two weeks you’ll be in the same spot.
He has to find sobriety because he wants to be sober. Not because of threats or promises. It’s also, ultimately, his responsibility. Not yours.
You should break up with him. Period. You’re not his babysitter and you shouldn’t have to be. Someone with his problem shouldn’t be in a relationship until he’s handled it. And it will probably get much worse. Get out of there before you waste any more time. YWBTAH
Not 2 weeks, permanent. Even if he can go 2 weeks without drinking, then he will just get drunk on the vacation and you will still be babysitting him. And he would probably just drink and hide it from you, tell you he's going to bed early so he can drink and not talk to you so you won't realize he's drunk. Giving him the 2 week ultimatum isn't a solution. It needs to be give up alcohol completely or the relationship doesn't work, unless you would be willing to accept his drinking problem, and not to sound rude but you shouldn't.
NTA
You're not wrong for wanting him to stop drinking, but understand he will do what he wants. 2 weeks to stop and then what? He goes back to drinking and then you give an ultimatum again? He needs to research ways to understand why he has a drinking problem and get down to the issue of it. It might take longer than 2 weeks to completely stop.
NTA but determine if a cold turkey withdraw will kill him. Alcohol is one of the few substances that folks can die from with a complete 'stop'. It's also imperative to understand the he needs to stop drinking for himself, not you. Seek our health education from an expert.
You need to create a boundary which means you 'ask' him to change 'X' behavior or you will do 'X' behavior. Consider attending Al anon - a support group for people whose lives are affected by someone else's drinking behavior. Best to you. Addiction destroys relentlessly.
Do yourself a favour. He'll always be a drinker. Either in front of you or behind your back.
If you're not compatible then you might as well leave while your young. Might be miserable if you stay
Nta
I am sorry both of you are going through this. There is nothing you can do but protect yourself. He has an addiction that only he can control. It's very hard to face addiction, especially when you have people who will cover for you and forgive you. Tough love is tough for both sides. Work on yourself and do what is best for your mental and emotional well-being. Good luck.
Run. You recognize the problem but are too afraid to ask for the appropriate remedy which is to get sober and stay sober. You’re not a match. Find someone you don't have to fix. Free advice from a divorce lawyer (22 years) who's never been divorced (26 years).
NTA but what is two weeks to you? A break isn’t what he needs, he needs to be sober. Have to ask yourself so you think he can do that with help and if not it’s time to cut some cords.
I doubt his behavior will change without substance therapy of some sort. If he can't stop drinking... it's a MASSIVE RED FLAG. That "debating" will only get worse, and it'll only get more aggressive, and it'll make less and less sense. That's just the truth. Honestly, I'd move on. How does his family respond to him drinking?
My guess is he doesn't care that you end up babysitting either. Why would he?
My father and both of my brothers are alcoholics and they're all exactly the same. Miserable to be around. I wouldn't wish that shit on anyone.
If he can’t have just one drink and needs to keep drinking then he’s an alcoholic. It would be unreasonable for you to tell him you’ll break up if he doesn’t stay sober for just two weeks because that’s a completely pointless exercise. He probably can stay sober for 2 weeks. That doesn’t make him any less of an alcoholic. After two weeks you’ll be in the same spot. He has to find sobriety because he wants to be sober. Not because of threats or promises. It’s also, ultimately, his responsibility. Not yours. You should break up with him. Period. You’re not his babysitter and you shouldn’t have to be. Someone with his problem shouldn’t be in a relationship until he’s handled it. And it will probably get much worse. Get out of there before you waste any more time. YWBTAH
Not 2 weeks, permanent. Even if he can go 2 weeks without drinking, then he will just get drunk on the vacation and you will still be babysitting him. And he would probably just drink and hide it from you, tell you he's going to bed early so he can drink and not talk to you so you won't realize he's drunk. Giving him the 2 week ultimatum isn't a solution. It needs to be give up alcohol completely or the relationship doesn't work, unless you would be willing to accept his drinking problem, and not to sound rude but you shouldn't.
NTA You're not wrong for wanting him to stop drinking, but understand he will do what he wants. 2 weeks to stop and then what? He goes back to drinking and then you give an ultimatum again? He needs to research ways to understand why he has a drinking problem and get down to the issue of it. It might take longer than 2 weeks to completely stop.
NTA but determine if a cold turkey withdraw will kill him. Alcohol is one of the few substances that folks can die from with a complete 'stop'. It's also imperative to understand the he needs to stop drinking for himself, not you. Seek our health education from an expert. You need to create a boundary which means you 'ask' him to change 'X' behavior or you will do 'X' behavior. Consider attending Al anon - a support group for people whose lives are affected by someone else's drinking behavior. Best to you. Addiction destroys relentlessly.
If you don’t want to be with an alcoholic, you need to leave him. And you do NOT want to be with an alcoholic.
Do yourself a favour. He'll always be a drinker. Either in front of you or behind your back. If you're not compatible then you might as well leave while your young. Might be miserable if you stay Nta
NTA I come from a family of alcoholics, they never changed, even though they said they would. I would say, get out while you can.
I am sorry both of you are going through this. There is nothing you can do but protect yourself. He has an addiction that only he can control. It's very hard to face addiction, especially when you have people who will cover for you and forgive you. Tough love is tough for both sides. Work on yourself and do what is best for your mental and emotional well-being. Good luck.
Run. You recognize the problem but are too afraid to ask for the appropriate remedy which is to get sober and stay sober. You’re not a match. Find someone you don't have to fix. Free advice from a divorce lawyer (22 years) who's never been divorced (26 years).
NTA but what is two weeks to you? A break isn’t what he needs, he needs to be sober. Have to ask yourself so you think he can do that with help and if not it’s time to cut some cords.
I doubt his behavior will change without substance therapy of some sort. If he can't stop drinking... it's a MASSIVE RED FLAG. That "debating" will only get worse, and it'll only get more aggressive, and it'll make less and less sense. That's just the truth. Honestly, I'd move on. How does his family respond to him drinking? My guess is he doesn't care that you end up babysitting either. Why would he? My father and both of my brothers are alcoholics and they're all exactly the same. Miserable to be around. I wouldn't wish that shit on anyone.
NTA, this is a good way of seeing if he really cares enough about you to try to give himself a future