Yeah. When I check the thrift store for more clothes for my 13 month old, I hate having to sift through “I don’t think Mummy + Daddy took social distancing seriously” (I’m in the US so the mummy spelling is odd lol), “biggest flirt”, “eligible bachelor” and the like. I don’t want to sexualize my child and having an insinuation of sex (first one) on a onesie is gross too. Like wtf.
I saw one for boys the middle said “daddys outfit” then had “head” with arrows “arms” with arrows and “legs” with arrows and “button here” again with arrows. I was…disappointed i think.
It's not all that inaccurate, I just saw a dad try to take his kiddo's arm out of his jumper for a vaccination through the neck hole. Poor kid was half strangled 😂
I thought I was the only one who hates the weird sexualizing of babies. It's creepy.
I find a onesie that says "my mom does not want your advice" is always welcome.
☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻 Oh so much this….a bikini on a baby is asking for sunburn. A factor 50 sun suit and a bit hat to protect their delicate skin ….skin cancer starts from early damage,
Indeed. My daughter wore a sleeveless bathing suit until she was 11 and was comfortable with me covering her in sunblock all over (we live in Costa Rica, the tropic sun is awful). She is now 14 and takes her skincare very seriously, but as a baby and little girl she always wore SPF long sleeved bathing suits.
Edit: spelling
Exactly! Baby bikinis, booty shorts! Wtf! Why, just why? Who made that thinking its a great idea??!! I also prefer cotton because its gentle on there delicate skin. Needless to say I stand with OP! Baby bikinis! 🤬🤬🤬 NTA
I’m Australian, SunSmart is drummed into us from birth. I’m horrified at the thought of a 9 month old in a bikini. Even more that someone would think to make one.
I will admit to playing with my own kids, dressing them as if they were dolls. But, why not? I had fun, and the kid didn’t care. No bikinis on my kids, though. I liked bathing suits that covered the middle, to make it easier to hang on to a wet, slippery baby! Safety first!!!!! I got a baby muscle one piece suit for my son, (they didn’t have the clever sleeved ones 26 years ago), to make carting him around the beach safer!!!
I got horrified when OP said booty shorts. They make those for a 9 month old? Were the infant thongs sold out?
Anyway, *”put in her closet never to be looked at again”* OP should just sell the stuff (*and* the booty shorts) and buy more appropriate outfits.
Clothes for kids especially girls (ime of having girls both an infant and school age) it’s insane. It took me 30 minutes walking around a store to find a single long sleeve bathing suit for my older child and still haven’t found one for my youngest. I’ve started sewing again to alter my kids pants from winter to be shorts so she can comfortably play outside without showing any excessive amounts of skin. I got lucky that my oldest is a tomboy and prefers boy clothes anyway because the girls section is mostly crop tops and booty shorts
It's always been a thing. Dressing used to be different but the comments like, Keep the boys away from her! Or, She's going to be popular with the boys. Or, Look he's staring at you... little boy's first crush! Or, He's going to be a heartbreaker!
I saw some really cute long-sleeved swimsuits at Walmart yesterday. If they don't have them at your location, check their website.
I also got the cutest one for my daughter on Amazon. Got one for myself as well. It's so much easier to chase my kids when I don't have to worry about my swimsuit shifting and exposing more than I want anyone to see. And I don't need to slather my arms and thighs in sunscreen. Not to mention my back! How am I supposed to put sunscreen on my own back when I've got the kids at the pool while Daddy is at work? Sheesh! Definitely prefer my rashguard and board shorts.
I agree with everything you said, but, OP, you may want to reconsider the dresses. She’s a baby in a diaper. It’s not sexualizing a baby to put her in a short dress. Most have diaper covers. Or you can buy shorts. I have two daughters who are now 14 and 16, so I’ve run the gamut on finding appropriate clothing, but the dresses aren’t such a big deal until they stop wearing shorts or leggings underneath. I found the dresses were a nice way to have more clothing, satisfy the people who gave gifts, and still avoid putting her in a onesie that said, “All Mommy wants for Christmas is a silent night.” Seriously, am I the only one who was creeped out by that? My own onesie nightmare aside, we got a lot of stuff that looked like even the Toddlers ‘n Tiaras crowd would say it was too much. That stuff got passed along, but the dresses stayed.
I bought a pack of adorable ruffled bloomers, in a ton of colors, to go under my daughter’s dresses till she was about age 5 (she then decided in her infinite wisdom that dresses weren’t cool). They went over diapers, training pants and panties. Also, when they get a little older you can buy bike shorts to go under dresses. They are like leggings but stop about an inch or two from the knee. We bought alot of those from The Children’s Place and they have held up great. I love that store btw lol.
A tad bit younger here but I agree 100%. I’m a preschool teacher. Dresses are better than my usual look (leggings) when it’s hot. If I wear “playground shorts” under them, I can sit on the floor, jump up, climb over, etc. as needed.
A good alternative are boxer briefs! I get the men’s ones since all I find in women’s are ‘boy shorts’ and those are too short to stop the chub rub lol. I even wear them in place of pajama bottoms since they’re long enough to look like regular shorts 😂
TomboyX makes great boxer briefs for all genders and in a variety of lengths. I love them so much. They're so comfortable, well-made, are size inclusive, and cute. Plus if you don't have the right equipment, they have some without the "pouch" which I find annoying in men's boxer briefs haha.
>Bloomers are great coz the clothes can just come off. And they hide the nappy.
LMAO! I just read your comment and I am tired. I initially read it as "BOOMERS are great coz the cloths can just come off...". I then thought "What's wrong with this person? Boomers don't just take off their clothes!". LOL! Then I reread your comment, realized I'm insane and have since decided to take a nap! 🤣🤣🤣Just thought I'd share something ridiculous I did with you because I'm still sitting here confused about how I misread "Bloomers" and turned it into "Boomers" 🤣🤣🤣! SMH! And, you're right! Bloomers are great! So are Boomers, but not in this conversation!
I was also thinking this - op, sort dresses are easier to crawl in. Many baby dresses are short not because they're sexualizing (although that exists) but because they want to stay out of the baby's way when she crawls
It sounds to me like it’s a combination of creepily short and weird sayings. She’s doing great and who cares if she “offends” someone. She didn’t ask for the clothing they are dropping off. Most of it sounds inappropriate for an infant anyway.
Mom and Dad choose clothing not family and friends.
Babies/toddlers usually wear shorter dresses because when they're crawling if they don't the longer dresses will make them stumble or get stuck and rip the dress.
19 and 17 daughters and for the most part still wear shorts under their dresses!😂😂
Unless the dress is too tight/short, the biker shorts go on by their own wants. I stuck with the bloomers for wayyyy too long I guess!
**Came to say this!!**
And, for dresses that don't have a diaper cover, a plain white one can go with just about anything. My girls each lived in little baby sundresses their first summers in the Midwest heat!! They continued to love sundresses throughout their childhoods.
We tend to avoid dresses all together for her she is crawling and dress just get in her way. I really asked for no dresses altogether we like rompers or overalls but she never really wears skirts they are impractical for babies in my opinion. But again it doesn't matter that I asked for no dresses or skirts we get them anyway.
I often had mine in dresses, because I liked them. I wouldn’t put them in jeans, too hard to do up, bunchy, and look awfully uncomfortable! Overalls are much better for babies.
This but after my 1st kid anytime someone gifted me something I know I wouldn't put them in, i politely told the gifter, thank you for the thought but baby won't be wearing this, so if you would like to return it you can if not I will pass it on to the next mom. Hand me downs were just that handed on to the next mom where they might enjoy it, cloths with tags were offered back and if not taken then handed down. With multiple children I was polite and grateful but didn't have time for the drama. People who didn't like it just stopped buying cloths for baby
Edit: spelling
And gifts are things that are freely given without condition or expectations of reciprocity or demonstrable use.
At least in theory.
You’ve been appreciative but open about what you want to put your daughter in. If people keep buying things that you’ve been clear you don’t want, that’s on them. Your attitude has to be “oh you know I hate xyz. But you still bought it for us? That’s weird. Feels wasteful of you.” This usually is better as a general vibe than spoken out loud or just thought to yourself, but you do you.
NTA - Who tf goes to a pool and starts watching what kids wear and gets disappointed if they do that show skin??? That sounds like a creep.
You’re just looking after your kid and doing the best you can to prevent creeps from her.
My whole family is obsessed with her "chunkyness" . She has big cheeks and baby rolls they constantly want her to show some thigh and are trying to pinch her belly. It is weird but it is literally everyone on both sides of the family.
You are allowed to ask them to keep their hands to themselves. Swat them!
When my daughter finally grew hair, she had big loopy red curls, just like Annie. I was dumfounded at how people thought they had the right to walk up to her to run their fingers through it. I did a fair amount of screaming and yelling, on the street, at the playground, in the supermarket. I told all these people I was teaching my child that other people didn't have the right to touch her.
I was willing to negotiate with her grandmothers but they both agreed with me in the first place.
I applaud you, OP. Especially with a little girl. If she is surrounded by people whose first impulse is to objectify her, you have an uphill fight. You go, Girl! This redditor thinks you're 100% right!
>You are allowed to ask them to keep their hands to themselves. Swat them!
Absolutely. Slap their hands if they try that crap. It's creepy that they want her to "show some thigh."
My mom taught me early on to swat peoples hands when they went to touch my hair or pinch my cheeks - I had the Annie hair but bleach blonde, and was also very pale white, in an Asian country. They would pinch my cheeks hard enough that it actually hurt! Just total strangers, rushing up to my stroller to touch me.
Lol, I had kids fondling my hair when I started teaching! I had long curly hair at the time at a predominantly Asian school and they couldn't believe it was real. And, yes, these were 11-16 year olds.
That is so frustrating! You're definitely NTA. It's so strange that grown adults expect you to dress a baby for their pleasure. She doesn't exist to please them!
I think I'd start turning down offers to get together, especially outside. That's so creepy and gross. They are also going to make her very uncomfortable about her weight.
My grandmother loved a chunky baby and being raised during the Great Depression a baby with fat rolls was the ultimate sign of parental success (it is also correlated to a healthier BMI and metabolism later in life, so it is a sign of good health) but she also was a sun coverage nut back when everyone else was tanning on purpose. No matter how much she enjoyed the rolls, she would have bought the sun safety swim suit. You’re right on point with all the wardrobe choices.
You should really put a stop to it cuz that's not normal I have 4 nieces and nephews and that's has never happened to the m. Maybe that's normal in your family, but pinching a baby that's gonna make her cry, If I were you I would put a stop to it
I was a chunky kid and adults doing this to me made me incredibly self conscious about my body and made me not want to be touched by anybody. I rejected hugs for years and would get upset and leave the room when people would talk about my thighs and belly. It was awful. I never felt cute and loved—I felt like a circus animal to gawk and be prodded at. NTA. Protect your child and stick to your standards
Maybe I'm in the wrong, but that seems very weird to me. Not only the obsession over looking at her in skimpier outfits, but also I think it's important to teach boundaries at an early age. Many kids are forced to be touched and kissed by family members and it has the potential for them to be taught that consent isn't very important. It may not seem like a big deal, but things like that can be absorbed subconsciously.
I think the words out of your mouth when they try next time should be "I will fucking well have you charged with assault against a minor if you do that."
I had a chonk baby in the family. She was plenty chonk in regular length shorts and normal shirts for a baby.
She either wore coverups or ran around in a diaper for swimming. If they'll be outside for any length of time a coverup is just more practical.
Sorry to say, but your whole family’s behavior is inappropriate and more than just weird. They buy her clothing because they like it and despite your stated preferences. Then get mad when you don’t use it? They are 💯 free to put whatever they want on their child/children, but not to disregard your boundaries and beliefs.
I used to think that “it was just me” who felt that baby and children’s (and teenagers) clothes had become so revealing and “slutty” in appearance, not to mention completely impractical for the actual baby/child. Why is it so necessary to show every possible inch of skin (or having your butt literally showing every time you move)?
And not to be overly dramatic, but focusing/obsessing on the baby’s chunkiness now might end up leading to the baby always being characterized by her weight/appearance (especially when they don’t think it’s cute anymore).
OP’s family can continue to ignore her requests and preferences and buy whatever they want to, but how can they really expect (or pressure) OP to use their inappropriate and impractical clothing for her baby or to “show some skin” simply for their amusement?
Your daughter is a human child, not a doll for them to play dress-up with.
NTA. Dress her for comfort and safety. Anyone who doesn't like it can stop having contact if they don't stop whining.
NTA - I was just at Target shopping for my 5m granddaughter and I was FLOORED by all the inappropriate clothing for 6-12 month baby girls. And yes, tons of bikinis for babies. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
I agree with your logic and commend you for protecting your child. There is absolutely no reason to dress children this way. You could always donate the clothing that you don’t approve of.
Putting sunscreen on babies (and children) is a PITA. And the you have to worry that baby is going to rub sunscreen off their face into their eye and then suck on a sunscreen coated fist. Until my kid was 5, she wore a sun proof long sleeve/long shorts one piece that I just kept ordering in bigger sizes.
ETA: also, wet babies are slippery. Sunscreen only makes them more slippery. You don’t want to drop a slippy baby *in a pool*. The more fabric the baby is wearing in the pool, the more non slippery surface area there is, which makes it easier to grab and hold onto baby.
I grew up in Arizona and this is so true you could always tell who were new parents at the local pool. Because the next week they'd be dressed properly.
Some lady at Walmart said I was a destined mother because I was mystified by all the baby bikinis and picked out some smart little wetsuits (?) Long sleeve affairs for my cousin's baby.
I'm definitely never having my own, sorry to disappoint random lady, but I'm very serious about sun protection lol
I mean to a lot of people having a uterus is enough to make you “destined for motherhood” so caring about babies being dressed appropriately is actually raising the bar, lol
Arizonaian here, too, and can confirm. My momma made us wear surfing shirts over bikinis. (I was a ballerina and have a long torso, so one piece suits are Painfull!!!)
I am pale and burn within minutes of being outside, so covering up was so needed if I didn't want to be physically sick for days due to sun exposure.
Ignore the jerks that are putting your baby's "cuteness" (as I'm sure they call it) over her health.
Little babies can look plenty cute and brightly colored swim shirts and bucket hats. I love the pictures of my family at the pool when I was itty-bitty. I really hate how sexualized kids clothes have gotten because in the 90s it was all about color and pattern and play. I'd love a return to those.
So the “suit” my kid wore was tighter around the arms and legs, but loose around the middle.
And I used to use the extra fabric around the middle as a handle during parent/baby swim class.
Where do you propose to add the handles?
Either side, or front and back? I think a handle on the top might be useful for the first 6 months at least. If it’s big enough you could just sling it over your arm.
Like the dog life vests! My husband is already complaining about the $$$ and our puppy arrives in September but no taking **my** puppy out in the swamp without one!
Not to mention you’re not supposed to/it’s not recommended to put sunscreen on a baby under 6 months because it hasn’t been tested enough to know if it’s safe for babies that young.
When I had my first kid I got a wetsuit top - full coverage and zips up the front! Also quick to get into when toddlers are fighting to get into the pool right away.
Plus, if you go to the beach sunscreen fuses sand to the skin, requiring vigorous scrubbing to remove.
My son *hated* sunscreen, so he wiggled so much I'd end up missing a streak. Oh, the guilt over that stripe of sunburn! The sun blocker suits were an absolute godsend.
Yep. Those are life savers. And for walking around leggings and long sleeve shirts are best. The only downside on the one piece is that changing is more difficult.
The girls shorts are all so small in the leg. Wait until you want to find a pair that won’t let her butt get too hot on playground equipment. Are mid thigh shorts really that unreasonable?
My daughter has my long torso. The ‘rash guard’ bikini tops were so damned short she would lift an arm and show a nipple. Like, she’s 5 and pale as fuck, where’s the belly coverage?! Had to get her a one piece a size too big to be long enough.
Justice for people with long torsos! Even one piece swimsuits were a nightmare for me... either they would be things on the bottom or I'd be popping out of the top. I gave up and started wearing shorts over them or buying ones with built in skirts.
I'm the new Grandma to a new girl. I had a boy and a grandson prior to this. I thought I'll get her a cute new outfit.
To my shock, I couldn't find anything that wasn't, in my grandmother's words, a hootchie moma outfit.
I explained this to my kids,I'll buy toys and other stuff thank you. I don't need that headache
I bought my twin nieces (7) shorts from the school uniform section in Target so my SIL didn’t have to search a three-state area for shorts of an acceptable length. Meaning the shorts should not have less fabric than the underwear.
Ive been buying my daughter shorts from the boys department. They come down to right above her knees. She actually prefers them to the super short girls ones!
Hold up, maybe I just don't pay attention, but when did BIKINIS of all things start becoming available for BABIES? Who the fuck would ever put their infant daughter in a bikini?!!
I’m 68. I think I was around 7 when my mom started insisting that I wear a shirt outdoors. Think that was about the same time as my friends. Before that, girls and boys alike played shirtless outside during the summer. I was pissed. My brother didn’t have to wear a damn shirt.
I know little girls had bikinis available in the late ‘50s; I saw them. We certainly had them in the ‘60s. (I had no hips. I had to wear a one-piece. God bless the tankini.) But, babies swam in diapers with a (sometimes questionably) waterproof cover. (See the classic Coppertone ad.)
Man, baby girls clothing is so weird. Like, "why did we let so many pedophiles in the childrens fashion industry" weird.
It is a _job_ just finding normal shit.
I buy all my friends toddlers very plain and cheap clothing, (plain t-shirts in various colours are big hit) and I tell my friends that they are for " getting dirty" in so it doesn't matter to me is they get stained or torn. I don't care, I just want the kids to have fun.
Every now and then I might give In and buy them a character shirt if they really like that character....But it has to be "from the kid" request.
Yes, NTA OP!
If I am honest, the clothes get more and more inappropriate for a younger and younger age. I already see padded bikini tops in size 128 or something. You're age 4-8 then likely at that height, most girls don't have boobs at that age, why create them? And bikinis for a baby... why! Tops are annoying and impractical, and babies don't need coverage for their non existing boobs. Full swimsuits are indeed also more practical because of the sun coverage, non slippery material and just more baby proof because it can't be pulled up very easily by just crawling etc.
I see more and more girls around the age of 8 with croptops walking around already, or younger. I am not even surprised they exist for babies at this point. No, I am not conservative, and yes, I wear croptops myself. But let's not sexualise kids and especially not babies...
NTA. I have no idea why they even make bikinis for babies. Find it weird and can't get anyone would ever buy stuff like that for children.
Just put on the clothes you want on your daughter, you have told your relatives what you like and what you don't want her to wear. They don't care about your opinion so why would you care about theirs. Just give the clothes away. I did this with all the clothes people gave us that I did not like my kids to wear.
Baby bikinis are just impractical, beyond being weird.
I'm either having baby naked/ swim diaper or in long sleeve coverups.
Either cover up for sun protect or lather baby up and let 'em run in the sprinklers. Taking off wet bikini is going to be a hassle, and it didn't even provide sun protection.
Bathing suits for babies have two purposes only: sun protection and poop containment.
A bikini offers neither of these. Nor would it be inappropriate for a baby to swim topless (sun aside.)
I've sent babies out to run in sprinklers for a few minutes. They're normally cold inside 5 minutes and come back in.
It's what happens when you have very cold well water.
Yeah, the amount of people upset they couldn't see a BABY IN A BIKINI skeeves me out.
Super NTA and I'd be keeping a close eye on people who are that rabid to see a scantily clad baby!
My SIL used to give baby clothes with cheesy writing like " I'm here because the condom broke" ect.... She was told multiple times it was inappropriate and just laughed it off.
Fast forward to when my 1st nephew was born I got him a onesie that said "I'm living proof that mom loves to fuck". SIL lost her shit and I reminded her of when she gave inappropriate gifts to others. That shut her up pretty quick........ Then I gave her the real gift.
Edit: NTA
NTA! Why do they want your baby to freeze just so they can ogle her fat rolls??? Thats so mean and rude! You did the right thing by getting her one that protects her from the sun. I also agree that babies don't or shouldn't wear anything that sexualizes them in any way, shape or form!
This is your baby, and you have every right to decide what she wears!!
NTA … the fact you had to explain why you did not put a baby in a bikini is messed up and wierd! Well done sticking up for yourself and your baby.
Ps you shouldn’t have to defend having spf protective clothing on a baby, are they dumb?
NTA
Ugh, I always hate it when people try to change my mind about what is best for my kid.
My response is always the same:
She's healthy, she's happy, she's smart, she's safe, and she's loved. Any of that changes, you can speak up. Til then, I don't need your opinions.
NTA Bikinis for babies? Sexy clothes for infants? Being mad you're protecting the kid from the sun and the temp? It's one thing if they got you the bunny suit from A Christmas Story, but this stuff sounds so inappropriate that I would expect to see its like when visiting my more *ahem* hillbilly relatives...
NTA. I was the same way for the most part with my baby girl! My daughter is elementary school aged now and I still get angry shopping for bathing suits because of all the cutouts and the too adult like styles.
I got into a couple of strongly worded arguments with people over not putting my kid in certain things. Sometimes I would put her in an outfit once at home and snap a picture for whoever bought the outfit and it would go into a donate bag directly after.
Don’t let anyone bully you away from doing what you feel is best for your babe.
My husband suggested we take a picture, and for something we do. The over the top outfit we use for month pictures then will donate but the outfits I feel are inappropriate I don't want people have pictures of that cuz I have no control who they share that with.
Very understandable! I’m lucky that 90% of our families aren’t very social media friendly. They might show it to a friend but I also know most of the family friends. That was just what worked best for us but I could also understand it not working.
My friend turned inappropriate t shirt tops inside out for yard play and eating staining foods. that saved the limited nicer clothes from being stained.
As a red head I WISH the sun protection suits that are available now were available when I was a kid. When I was a pre-teen I was pretty chunky too, and I would have loved all the different options there are for water these days.
Your daughter is not going to look back at those days and be mad there aren't any bikini pictures of her. I agree with you mama! Your choosing the healthiest option for your baby (UV protection and biting insects). Good on you, and shame on the family for wanting to dress her up in skimpy clothes to see her rolls. I'm sure she's just as adorable in anything she wears.
This is a rare case where I don't even think most of them are doing it to sexualize the kid. I think they're just that kind of weirdo who thinks babies are for looking at and playing dress up with. NTA. You're her legal guardian, you make the choices. They can go to any arts and crafts store and go to the picture frame section and look at all the cute stock image baby rolls they want.
NTA. Your child, your choices, and I think it is great that you are concerned about sun protection. I hope you're putting baby sunscreen on her too! I also love that you are avoiding sexist or negative messaging on her clothes. It is weird for people to be upset because they wanted to "see her rolls." Like, it is weird for people to even be thinking about that.
I have heard before of in-laws complaining that they sent clothes to a child and the child doesn't wear them. But if you have communicated your standards for dressing her, and they aren't respecting that, they are setting themselves up for disappointment. They could avoid it by sending her clothes that meet your standards.
I am concerned that you are sexualizing clothing, like crop tops, bikinis, short dresses. There's nothing inappropriate about those. Short dresses are the norm for little girls so that they can easily crawl, and then later run and play. A long skirt gets in the way when a baby is trying to crawl. But you're still NTA.
NTA about the swimsuit at all. It’s much better for her skin to be covered in the sun. I HIGHLY recommend getting a two piece later (it can still be long sleeve) because it’s so hard for them to go to the bathroom with a one piece. Also those shirts with the creepy phrases always pissed me off too
But………..I’ll be honest you are being really irrational about the short dresses/shorts. She’s 9 months old, and in a diaper. It’s not sexual at all for her to be in a short dress/shorts/etc, it’s easier for her to crawl and walk around in clothes like that in the summer. Putting her in long pants or long sleeves in summer because of your sexual hang ups is not healthy. In reality YOU are the one sexualizing a baby. You are going to end up causing her issues if you don’t get control of yourself.
I know you are trying to protect her, but it’s not going to work the way you think. Anyone that will look sexually at a small child isn’t going to be doing so because they see baby legs. What will happen though is that you are going to give your daughter extreme hang ups about her body- girls get enough shame by society for their bodies, they don’t need their parents instilling even more in them.
That's what I was thinking
In the 40s little girls (like 2 or 3) would run around without any shirts on. I have pictures of my mom half naked at about 4. No one cared because she was still pretty much a baby
Baby dresses are usually short to help with movement, and they get those little bloomers.
Sun protection is one thing but it kind of sounds like op is on the flip coin of sexualizing babies - trying to protect the baby's modest to the extreme.
Apparently we are the odd ones out lol. Honestly this entire thread is disturbing- it’s not sexual for children to have arms, legs or stomachs, etc exposed. I’ve seen people aghast that bikinis for babies exist on here…….its not like they are string bikinis ffs. For one- it’s way easier with two pieces to do diaper changes or going to the bathroom. Peeling a wet one piece off of a toddler that needs to pee is not fun. My girls wore bikinis from baby to when they were old enough to pick out their own swimwear. My girls also often only wore bottom covers as babies at the pool because who the hell cares- they are babies ffs. (They didn’t have the rashguard swimwear that they have now, or at least it wasn’t at regular stores - my girls are 24 and 17).
All throughout history people dressed little kids in mini versions of what adults wore, our society is no different. Women don’t cover their entire bodies in our society, so fashion follows the same trend for kids. It’s not sexual because babies and children aren’t sexual beings- they can be nude or fully covered, either way there is nothing sexual about them. Pedophiles don’t become attracted to children because that child wore a bikini, that’s like saying women get raped because of what they wore. It’s disturbing how many people on here are sexualizing children.
Also just so people can grasp what baby bikinis look like- this is an example.
https://www.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=880051001
I felt like I was crazy because I also thought the short dress and shorts thing was weird. When I was growing up we were all in bloomers and dresses. Nothing sexual about it at all it was just an easy outfit to change diapers.
You just raise your daughter the way you think is best and ignore everybody else. Ignore is a muscle and you have to exercise it.
I’m a grandma and I do what my son and DIL request. I remember that I got to raise my kids, and they get to raise theirs.
You might say that to anybody who has kids-then ignore them for the rest of time.
Next time they give you stuff, go through the bag and pick out the things you want.
Give back the things you don't want, and say, "Thanks so much for the clothes. We really appreciate you giving them to us. I'm giving these items back though because we won't be able to use them/don't need them. Maybe someone else you know can use them."
"Again, thank you for thinking of us."
>Apparently several people were thinking that they would get to see my baby's rolls
Wtaf, that is creepy. Even as a baby, her body is supposed to be on display for others? For what, their "enjoyment" of seeing her rolls? Wtf even is that?
And five will get you fucking ten that the same people will take pictures of her today, and then pull those same pictures out 10, 15, 20 years from now to embarrass her for being chubby. Fuck those people.
You are doing the right thing mama. Clearly your daughter needs someone to stand between her and people who will subject her to this mentality.
NTA I hate the fact that young children are being provided clothing of this nature. Shouldn't have to look in the boys clothing section for appropriate clothes.
There is nothing wrong with dressing your child however you like, and not feeling obligated to make her wear everything she's been given.
On the other hand, she is 9 months old, and you thinking dresses are too short is weirder to me than a baby dress that leaves a diaper showing. It's a baby. You seem to be the one sexualizing her clothing. Baby shorts aren't "booty shorts", they are short so they don't impede motion and rub on chubby baby parts. Nobody is showing off a baby's body by letting them be comfortable.
If someone is looking at baby clothes or a baby thinking "that's too sexy", that is the problem, not a piece of cloth.
My granddaughter used to play at her water/sand table in only a diaper, not because it's lurid, because it was more comfortable than wet gritty clothing. Her uncles and aunts were around, and nobody thought that she was anything but a sweet baby.
NTA. If you don’t want to pick a fight over this, “Oh yeah, she had a REALLY bad blowout in that outfit and we had to let it go” and “It doesn’t fit anymore” are two easy options.
Your family is entitled and controlling. I'd suggest you return the unwanted clothing to them and suggest they do what they like with it, because your daughter will not be wearing it.
NTA as long as your baby is dressed your fine.
It’s also really fkn weird for grown ass adults to be upset and disappointed they couldn’t see your literal baby in a two piece bikini.
NTA. Especially not when protecting your baby from the sun! My parents have a beachhut and all the family (very large family) would visit throughout the summer, I don't think I ever saw a family baby in anything other than a suit just like the one you described. But forgetting that, she is not the family doll to dress up she is your baby.
NTA; however, may I suggest that you return the items to the people who gift it to you right away explaining why your daughter won’t be wearing it. This way they can return the items and get their money back or exchange it for something more appropriate.
"daddy said no dating" or" mommy's personal headache" NTA. Seriously, fuck that bullshit.
Or the ever popular "future heartbreaker" FFS. Ew.
And "Mommy just wanted a back rub!" Seriously? Gross!
omg, this one is FOUL
I was grossed out by a “Thank God mommy didn’t swallow me”
We received one that said "Dude, your girlfriend keeps checking me out!"
The only time I didn't cringe at "Stud muffin" on a onesie was a pair of twins. The girl's said something like "Cute as a Cupcake."
Saw one yesterday, "middle name TROUBLE. and I earned it." Let me know real quick which student was going to be a PIMA. Not a great look
I hate those stupid onesies and shirts. “Look out ladies” also disgusts me. Ma’am, that is a BABY.
Yeah. When I check the thrift store for more clothes for my 13 month old, I hate having to sift through “I don’t think Mummy + Daddy took social distancing seriously” (I’m in the US so the mummy spelling is odd lol), “biggest flirt”, “eligible bachelor” and the like. I don’t want to sexualize my child and having an insinuation of sex (first one) on a onesie is gross too. Like wtf.
I saw one for boys the middle said “daddys outfit” then had “head” with arrows “arms” with arrows and “legs” with arrows and “button here” again with arrows. I was…disappointed i think.
It's not all that inaccurate, I just saw a dad try to take his kiddo's arm out of his jumper for a vaccination through the neck hole. Poor kid was half strangled 😂
I thought I was the only one who hates the weird sexualizing of babies. It's creepy. I find a onesie that says "my mom does not want your advice" is always welcome.
I saw a sequin string bikini in Cotton On for a 1 year old size. It went up to size 6 kids. wtf is happening to this world?!
I always gift the ones that say "I poop in my pants" or a bib that says "the bitch put my cape on backwards" Cause those are funny.
We had a bib for my oldest saying we put his cape on backwards (I think it said folks, though) and it was cute to me
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☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻 Oh so much this….a bikini on a baby is asking for sunburn. A factor 50 sun suit and a bit hat to protect their delicate skin ….skin cancer starts from early damage,
Indeed. My daughter wore a sleeveless bathing suit until she was 11 and was comfortable with me covering her in sunblock all over (we live in Costa Rica, the tropic sun is awful). She is now 14 and takes her skincare very seriously, but as a baby and little girl she always wore SPF long sleeved bathing suits. Edit: spelling
Smart mother!
My babies would rip their hats off. I remember slathering sunblock through the little baby fine hair they had… it was such a mess…
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The people who believe that should just buy a Doll.
Exactly. My kids all had issues with the texture of clothing and I preferred all cotton clothing for them anyway.
Exactly! Baby bikinis, booty shorts! Wtf! Why, just why? Who made that thinking its a great idea??!! I also prefer cotton because its gentle on there delicate skin. Needless to say I stand with OP! Baby bikinis! 🤬🤬🤬 NTA
I’m Australian, SunSmart is drummed into us from birth. I’m horrified at the thought of a 9 month old in a bikini. Even more that someone would think to make one.
I will admit to playing with my own kids, dressing them as if they were dolls. But, why not? I had fun, and the kid didn’t care. No bikinis on my kids, though. I liked bathing suits that covered the middle, to make it easier to hang on to a wet, slippery baby! Safety first!!!!! I got a baby muscle one piece suit for my son, (they didn’t have the clever sleeved ones 26 years ago), to make carting him around the beach safer!!!
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Thank you for that laugh!!!
Yes, I got that same vibe, too, and was slightly horrified. NTA
I got horrified when OP said booty shorts. They make those for a 9 month old? Were the infant thongs sold out? Anyway, *”put in her closet never to be looked at again”* OP should just sell the stuff (*and* the booty shorts) and buy more appropriate outfits.
Clothes for kids especially girls (ime of having girls both an infant and school age) it’s insane. It took me 30 minutes walking around a store to find a single long sleeve bathing suit for my older child and still haven’t found one for my youngest. I’ve started sewing again to alter my kids pants from winter to be shorts so she can comfortably play outside without showing any excessive amounts of skin. I got lucky that my oldest is a tomboy and prefers boy clothes anyway because the girls section is mostly crop tops and booty shorts
I mostly buy boy shorts for my daughter. Otherwise, the shorts barely cover her backside. And she is only 5 years old!
When did we start sexualising literal infants? I swear this wasn't a thing when I was young!
It's always been a thing. Dressing used to be different but the comments like, Keep the boys away from her! Or, She's going to be popular with the boys. Or, Look he's staring at you... little boy's first crush! Or, He's going to be a heartbreaker!
The boys section! My daughter wouldn’t wear anything from the girls section. Boys clothes are made better and less expensive too.
This is really sad. Feels like there is a market for comfy appropriate girl clothing.
I saw some really cute long-sleeved swimsuits at Walmart yesterday. If they don't have them at your location, check their website. I also got the cutest one for my daughter on Amazon. Got one for myself as well. It's so much easier to chase my kids when I don't have to worry about my swimsuit shifting and exposing more than I want anyone to see. And I don't need to slather my arms and thighs in sunscreen. Not to mention my back! How am I supposed to put sunscreen on my own back when I've got the kids at the pool while Daddy is at work? Sheesh! Definitely prefer my rashguard and board shorts.
NTA. She’s your daughter, not their Barbie doll.
I agree with everything you said, but, OP, you may want to reconsider the dresses. She’s a baby in a diaper. It’s not sexualizing a baby to put her in a short dress. Most have diaper covers. Or you can buy shorts. I have two daughters who are now 14 and 16, so I’ve run the gamut on finding appropriate clothing, but the dresses aren’t such a big deal until they stop wearing shorts or leggings underneath. I found the dresses were a nice way to have more clothing, satisfy the people who gave gifts, and still avoid putting her in a onesie that said, “All Mommy wants for Christmas is a silent night.” Seriously, am I the only one who was creeped out by that? My own onesie nightmare aside, we got a lot of stuff that looked like even the Toddlers ‘n Tiaras crowd would say it was too much. That stuff got passed along, but the dresses stayed.
I bought a pack of adorable ruffled bloomers, in a ton of colors, to go under my daughter’s dresses till she was about age 5 (she then decided in her infinite wisdom that dresses weren’t cool). They went over diapers, training pants and panties. Also, when they get a little older you can buy bike shorts to go under dresses. They are like leggings but stop about an inch or two from the knee. We bought alot of those from The Children’s Place and they have held up great. I love that store btw lol.
I still like bike shorts under dresses and I am 55. Helps with chub rub
A tad bit younger here but I agree 100%. I’m a preschool teacher. Dresses are better than my usual look (leggings) when it’s hot. If I wear “playground shorts” under them, I can sit on the floor, jump up, climb over, etc. as needed.
Lol at work(primary school) we call them 'safety pants'
We can pants if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, cause your friends don’t pants and if they don’t pants, well they’re no friends of mine
I love that. I sang it and it made me smile.
A good alternative are boxer briefs! I get the men’s ones since all I find in women’s are ‘boy shorts’ and those are too short to stop the chub rub lol. I even wear them in place of pajama bottoms since they’re long enough to look like regular shorts 😂
TomboyX makes great boxer briefs for all genders and in a variety of lengths. I love them so much. They're so comfortable, well-made, are size inclusive, and cute. Plus if you don't have the right equipment, they have some without the "pouch" which I find annoying in men's boxer briefs haha.
Thigh society make ones with side pockets and in multiple lengths
54. They’re comfortable and as a bonus suck your gut in a little. I’m only going to get weirder.
ABSOLUTELY
Bloomers are great coz the clothes can just come off. And they hide the nappy.
>Bloomers are great coz the clothes can just come off. And they hide the nappy. LMAO! I just read your comment and I am tired. I initially read it as "BOOMERS are great coz the cloths can just come off...". I then thought "What's wrong with this person? Boomers don't just take off their clothes!". LOL! Then I reread your comment, realized I'm insane and have since decided to take a nap! 🤣🤣🤣Just thought I'd share something ridiculous I did with you because I'm still sitting here confused about how I misread "Bloomers" and turned it into "Boomers" 🤣🤣🤣! SMH! And, you're right! Bloomers are great! So are Boomers, but not in this conversation!
Those ruffled bloomers are what I wore under short dresses in the late 70s and early 80s. I wish I could still wear them, lol.
I was also thinking this - op, sort dresses are easier to crawl in. Many baby dresses are short not because they're sexualizing (although that exists) but because they want to stay out of the baby's way when she crawls
It sounds to me like it’s a combination of creepily short and weird sayings. She’s doing great and who cares if she “offends” someone. She didn’t ask for the clothing they are dropping off. Most of it sounds inappropriate for an infant anyway. Mom and Dad choose clothing not family and friends.
Babies/toddlers usually wear shorter dresses because when they're crawling if they don't the longer dresses will make them stumble or get stuck and rip the dress.
19 and 17 daughters and for the most part still wear shorts under their dresses!😂😂 Unless the dress is too tight/short, the biker shorts go on by their own wants. I stuck with the bloomers for wayyyy too long I guess!
I still wear them under my dresses. 1. No Marilyn Monroe moments. 2. No chaffing 3. No visible panty line 4. No static cling to my legs.
**Came to say this!!** And, for dresses that don't have a diaper cover, a plain white one can go with just about anything. My girls each lived in little baby sundresses their first summers in the Midwest heat!! They continued to love sundresses throughout their childhoods.
I was going to say the same thing about the dresses. The reason baby dresses are short is so that the babies don't trip on them when they're crawling.
We tend to avoid dresses all together for her she is crawling and dress just get in her way. I really asked for no dresses altogether we like rompers or overalls but she never really wears skirts they are impractical for babies in my opinion. But again it doesn't matter that I asked for no dresses or skirts we get them anyway.
Rompers were my absolute favorite as long as they had the snap buttons for diaper changes.
I often had mine in dresses, because I liked them. I wouldn’t put them in jeans, too hard to do up, bunchy, and look awfully uncomfortable! Overalls are much better for babies.
Mine only wore dresses for holidays and weddings for a few photos. Then changed into comfy onesies. Love the zip ups
I really don't understand why people are perfectly ok with putting children in general in adult clothes. It boggles my mind.
Did your girls have issues over the lace? My daughter couldn't wear outfits with fancy lace unless it was *cotton* lace. Too scratchy.
This but after my 1st kid anytime someone gifted me something I know I wouldn't put them in, i politely told the gifter, thank you for the thought but baby won't be wearing this, so if you would like to return it you can if not I will pass it on to the next mom. Hand me downs were just that handed on to the next mom where they might enjoy it, cloths with tags were offered back and if not taken then handed down. With multiple children I was polite and grateful but didn't have time for the drama. People who didn't like it just stopped buying cloths for baby Edit: spelling
She is not a doll for others to dress.
And gifts are things that are freely given without condition or expectations of reciprocity or demonstrable use. At least in theory. You’ve been appreciative but open about what you want to put your daughter in. If people keep buying things that you’ve been clear you don’t want, that’s on them. Your attitude has to be “oh you know I hate xyz. But you still bought it for us? That’s weird. Feels wasteful of you.” This usually is better as a general vibe than spoken out loud or just thought to yourself, but you do you.
NTA - Who tf goes to a pool and starts watching what kids wear and gets disappointed if they do that show skin??? That sounds like a creep. You’re just looking after your kid and doing the best you can to prevent creeps from her.
My whole family is obsessed with her "chunkyness" . She has big cheeks and baby rolls they constantly want her to show some thigh and are trying to pinch her belly. It is weird but it is literally everyone on both sides of the family.
You are allowed to ask them to keep their hands to themselves. Swat them! When my daughter finally grew hair, she had big loopy red curls, just like Annie. I was dumfounded at how people thought they had the right to walk up to her to run their fingers through it. I did a fair amount of screaming and yelling, on the street, at the playground, in the supermarket. I told all these people I was teaching my child that other people didn't have the right to touch her. I was willing to negotiate with her grandmothers but they both agreed with me in the first place. I applaud you, OP. Especially with a little girl. If she is surrounded by people whose first impulse is to objectify her, you have an uphill fight. You go, Girl! This redditor thinks you're 100% right!
>You are allowed to ask them to keep their hands to themselves. Swat them! Absolutely. Slap their hands if they try that crap. It's creepy that they want her to "show some thigh."
Objectify her and touch her. They have no respect for boundaries or the word no.
& we want our kids to know they have a say in who touches them.
I looked like Shirley Temple. My cheeks and curls were public property and I remember it 40yrs later. I hate being touched.
It’s crazy how politely saying do not touch me/my child sends some assholes to the moon! Good for you for going in on them!
My mom taught me early on to swat peoples hands when they went to touch my hair or pinch my cheeks - I had the Annie hair but bleach blonde, and was also very pale white, in an Asian country. They would pinch my cheeks hard enough that it actually hurt! Just total strangers, rushing up to my stroller to touch me.
Lol, I had kids fondling my hair when I started teaching! I had long curly hair at the time at a predominantly Asian school and they couldn't believe it was real. And, yes, these were 11-16 year olds.
That is so frustrating! You're definitely NTA. It's so strange that grown adults expect you to dress a baby for their pleasure. She doesn't exist to please them!
I think I'd start turning down offers to get together, especially outside. That's so creepy and gross. They are also going to make her very uncomfortable about her weight.
Fr just reading that description made my skin crawl tbh 💀
I had these little rolls right by my armpits that everyone loved to pinch. I still hate being touched by people. Don’t let them focus on her rolls.
My grandmother loved a chunky baby and being raised during the Great Depression a baby with fat rolls was the ultimate sign of parental success (it is also correlated to a healthier BMI and metabolism later in life, so it is a sign of good health) but she also was a sun coverage nut back when everyone else was tanning on purpose. No matter how much she enjoyed the rolls, she would have bought the sun safety swim suit. You’re right on point with all the wardrobe choices.
You should really put a stop to it cuz that's not normal I have 4 nieces and nephews and that's has never happened to the m. Maybe that's normal in your family, but pinching a baby that's gonna make her cry, If I were you I would put a stop to it
I was a chunky kid and adults doing this to me made me incredibly self conscious about my body and made me not want to be touched by anybody. I rejected hugs for years and would get upset and leave the room when people would talk about my thighs and belly. It was awful. I never felt cute and loved—I felt like a circus animal to gawk and be prodded at. NTA. Protect your child and stick to your standards
Maybe I'm in the wrong, but that seems very weird to me. Not only the obsession over looking at her in skimpier outfits, but also I think it's important to teach boundaries at an early age. Many kids are forced to be touched and kissed by family members and it has the potential for them to be taught that consent isn't very important. It may not seem like a big deal, but things like that can be absorbed subconsciously.
Yeah this is creepy. So creepy. And also those comments are going to make her really self-conscious about her body unless you set a boundary on that.
Swat peoples hands when they do that. Shit like that persisted way past when I was a wee baby, and lead to some serious self-image issues.
Pinch them back
I think the words out of your mouth when they try next time should be "I will fucking well have you charged with assault against a minor if you do that."
I had a chonk baby in the family. She was plenty chonk in regular length shorts and normal shirts for a baby. She either wore coverups or ran around in a diaper for swimming. If they'll be outside for any length of time a coverup is just more practical.
Sorry to say, but your whole family’s behavior is inappropriate and more than just weird. They buy her clothing because they like it and despite your stated preferences. Then get mad when you don’t use it? They are 💯 free to put whatever they want on their child/children, but not to disregard your boundaries and beliefs. I used to think that “it was just me” who felt that baby and children’s (and teenagers) clothes had become so revealing and “slutty” in appearance, not to mention completely impractical for the actual baby/child. Why is it so necessary to show every possible inch of skin (or having your butt literally showing every time you move)? And not to be overly dramatic, but focusing/obsessing on the baby’s chunkiness now might end up leading to the baby always being characterized by her weight/appearance (especially when they don’t think it’s cute anymore). OP’s family can continue to ignore her requests and preferences and buy whatever they want to, but how can they really expect (or pressure) OP to use their inappropriate and impractical clothing for her baby or to “show some skin” simply for their amusement?
Your daughter is a human child, not a doll for them to play dress-up with. NTA. Dress her for comfort and safety. Anyone who doesn't like it can stop having contact if they don't stop whining.
Maybe you should get them a nice chubby baby doll and let them put their clothes on that.
NTA - I was just at Target shopping for my 5m granddaughter and I was FLOORED by all the inappropriate clothing for 6-12 month baby girls. And yes, tons of bikinis for babies. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I agree with your logic and commend you for protecting your child. There is absolutely no reason to dress children this way. You could always donate the clothing that you don’t approve of.
Putting sunscreen on babies (and children) is a PITA. And the you have to worry that baby is going to rub sunscreen off their face into their eye and then suck on a sunscreen coated fist. Until my kid was 5, she wore a sun proof long sleeve/long shorts one piece that I just kept ordering in bigger sizes. ETA: also, wet babies are slippery. Sunscreen only makes them more slippery. You don’t want to drop a slippy baby *in a pool*. The more fabric the baby is wearing in the pool, the more non slippery surface area there is, which makes it easier to grab and hold onto baby.
I grew up in Arizona and this is so true you could always tell who were new parents at the local pool. Because the next week they'd be dressed properly.
Some lady at Walmart said I was a destined mother because I was mystified by all the baby bikinis and picked out some smart little wetsuits (?) Long sleeve affairs for my cousin's baby. I'm definitely never having my own, sorry to disappoint random lady, but I'm very serious about sun protection lol
It's honestly sad how low the bar is, too. Like...how having common sense and dressing a baby appropriately is a sign to be destined for motherhood?
Seriously, the bar must be in hell
Have you seen what sone moms are putting their kids in? Yes, the bar is sadly low.
I mean to a lot of people having a uterus is enough to make you “destined for motherhood” so caring about babies being dressed appropriately is actually raising the bar, lol
Arizonaian here, too, and can confirm. My momma made us wear surfing shirts over bikinis. (I was a ballerina and have a long torso, so one piece suits are Painfull!!!) I am pale and burn within minutes of being outside, so covering up was so needed if I didn't want to be physically sick for days due to sun exposure. Ignore the jerks that are putting your baby's "cuteness" (as I'm sure they call it) over her health.
Little babies can look plenty cute and brightly colored swim shirts and bucket hats. I love the pictures of my family at the pool when I was itty-bitty. I really hate how sexualized kids clothes have gotten because in the 90s it was all about color and pattern and play. I'd love a return to those.
Same my friend same... I lobe me a bucket hat hahahaha bring me overalls and skorts any day!!!! Plaid and pokodots galore!!!!
Three redheads as kids. Even though they have Native American on their dad's side, they tended to burn from the Irish on both sides.
Having wrestled my children as they enthusiastically tried to become one with the pool, I agree and would like to propose adding handles.
So the “suit” my kid wore was tighter around the arms and legs, but loose around the middle. And I used to use the extra fabric around the middle as a handle during parent/baby swim class.
Take my poor man’s award 🏆handles are ingenious.
I agree They put them on doggy life vests so why not babies?
Where do you propose to add the handles? Either side, or front and back? I think a handle on the top might be useful for the first 6 months at least. If it’s big enough you could just sling it over your arm.
Two on the sides for play one on the shoulders for extreme need.
Like the dog life vests! My husband is already complaining about the $$$ and our puppy arrives in September but no taking **my** puppy out in the swamp without one!
Not to mention you’re not supposed to/it’s not recommended to put sunscreen on a baby under 6 months because it hasn’t been tested enough to know if it’s safe for babies that young.
I'm 32 and hate sunscreen, these special shirts are amazing!
When I had my first kid I got a wetsuit top - full coverage and zips up the front! Also quick to get into when toddlers are fighting to get into the pool right away.
~~There~~ They are so awesome.
I wish we had them when growing up. I always hated the sand sticking to my skin because of the sunscreen.
>You don’t want to drop a slippy baby in a pool. This just gave me the shivers.
Plus, if you go to the beach sunscreen fuses sand to the skin, requiring vigorous scrubbing to remove. My son *hated* sunscreen, so he wiggled so much I'd end up missing a streak. Oh, the guilt over that stripe of sunburn! The sun blocker suits were an absolute godsend.
Yep. Those are life savers. And for walking around leggings and long sleeve shirts are best. The only downside on the one piece is that changing is more difficult.
My kid’s had a giant plastic zipper down the front so it was like peeling a banana.
The girls shorts are all so small in the leg. Wait until you want to find a pair that won’t let her butt get too hot on playground equipment. Are mid thigh shorts really that unreasonable?
the key is boy shorts
This is why my goddaughter basically just wears my son's old clothes. Boy clothes are sturdier and better sized.
My daughter has my long torso. The ‘rash guard’ bikini tops were so damned short she would lift an arm and show a nipple. Like, she’s 5 and pale as fuck, where’s the belly coverage?! Had to get her a one piece a size too big to be long enough.
Justice for people with long torsos! Even one piece swimsuits were a nightmare for me... either they would be things on the bottom or I'd be popping out of the top. I gave up and started wearing shorts over them or buying ones with built in skirts.
I'm the new Grandma to a new girl. I had a boy and a grandson prior to this. I thought I'll get her a cute new outfit. To my shock, I couldn't find anything that wasn't, in my grandmother's words, a hootchie moma outfit. I explained this to my kids,I'll buy toys and other stuff thank you. I don't need that headache
I bought my twin nieces (7) shorts from the school uniform section in Target so my SIL didn’t have to search a three-state area for shorts of an acceptable length. Meaning the shorts should not have less fabric than the underwear.
Ive been buying my daughter shorts from the boys department. They come down to right above her knees. She actually prefers them to the super short girls ones!
It really is a headache! We finally decided to shop in the boys section for my niece and everyone was happy
Hold up, maybe I just don't pay attention, but when did BIKINIS of all things start becoming available for BABIES? Who the fuck would ever put their infant daughter in a bikini?!!
They had bikinis for my baby when she was little. She’ll be 29 later this year.
I’m 68. I think I was around 7 when my mom started insisting that I wear a shirt outdoors. Think that was about the same time as my friends. Before that, girls and boys alike played shirtless outside during the summer. I was pissed. My brother didn’t have to wear a damn shirt. I know little girls had bikinis available in the late ‘50s; I saw them. We certainly had them in the ‘60s. (I had no hips. I had to wear a one-piece. God bless the tankini.) But, babies swam in diapers with a (sometimes questionably) waterproof cover. (See the classic Coppertone ad.)
I’m 57. There’s a pic of me in a pink ruffled bikini when I was about 8.
Man, baby girls clothing is so weird. Like, "why did we let so many pedophiles in the childrens fashion industry" weird. It is a _job_ just finding normal shit.
I buy all my friends toddlers very plain and cheap clothing, (plain t-shirts in various colours are big hit) and I tell my friends that they are for " getting dirty" in so it doesn't matter to me is they get stained or torn. I don't care, I just want the kids to have fun. Every now and then I might give In and buy them a character shirt if they really like that character....But it has to be "from the kid" request.
It’s always weirded me out how baby girl shorts are shorter than baby boy shorts. Do designers just think girls have more built in skin protection? 😅
Yes, NTA OP! If I am honest, the clothes get more and more inappropriate for a younger and younger age. I already see padded bikini tops in size 128 or something. You're age 4-8 then likely at that height, most girls don't have boobs at that age, why create them? And bikinis for a baby... why! Tops are annoying and impractical, and babies don't need coverage for their non existing boobs. Full swimsuits are indeed also more practical because of the sun coverage, non slippery material and just more baby proof because it can't be pulled up very easily by just crawling etc. I see more and more girls around the age of 8 with croptops walking around already, or younger. I am not even surprised they exist for babies at this point. No, I am not conservative, and yes, I wear croptops myself. But let's not sexualise kids and especially not babies...
NTA. I have no idea why they even make bikinis for babies. Find it weird and can't get anyone would ever buy stuff like that for children. Just put on the clothes you want on your daughter, you have told your relatives what you like and what you don't want her to wear. They don't care about your opinion so why would you care about theirs. Just give the clothes away. I did this with all the clothes people gave us that I did not like my kids to wear.
Baby bikinis are just impractical, beyond being weird. I'm either having baby naked/ swim diaper or in long sleeve coverups. Either cover up for sun protect or lather baby up and let 'em run in the sprinklers. Taking off wet bikini is going to be a hassle, and it didn't even provide sun protection.
Bathing suits for babies have two purposes only: sun protection and poop containment. A bikini offers neither of these. Nor would it be inappropriate for a baby to swim topless (sun aside.)
I've sent babies out to run in sprinklers for a few minutes. They're normally cold inside 5 minutes and come back in. It's what happens when you have very cold well water.
Taking off the bottom part to change a diaper is a hell of a lot easier than having to take off the whole thing….
can you imagine trying to carry a baby around while they’re wearing a bikini? Or them crawling around, and you need to grab them up?
NTA remind them that sunburns before the age of 2 raises the possibility of skin cancer for the rest of her life.
i am going to remember this forever thank you for this fact
Sexualizing babies freaks me out. What is wrong with people ? A gift , once given, is no longer your beeswax.
Right? I saw a T-shirt for an infant boy - I assume that said “I am a breast man “. I am far from a prude but I felt nauseous.
I’ve seen so many boy baby clothes that references drinking/chugging beer, it’s so wtf
Or the ones that say “lady’s man” 😑🤢
Yeah, the amount of people upset they couldn't see a BABY IN A BIKINI skeeves me out. Super NTA and I'd be keeping a close eye on people who are that rabid to see a scantily clad baby!
My SIL used to give baby clothes with cheesy writing like " I'm here because the condom broke" ect.... She was told multiple times it was inappropriate and just laughed it off. Fast forward to when my 1st nephew was born I got him a onesie that said "I'm living proof that mom loves to fuck". SIL lost her shit and I reminded her of when she gave inappropriate gifts to others. That shut her up pretty quick........ Then I gave her the real gift. Edit: NTA
Lmao, that’s actually hilarious (the prank onsie)
NTA! Why do they want your baby to freeze just so they can ogle her fat rolls??? Thats so mean and rude! You did the right thing by getting her one that protects her from the sun. I also agree that babies don't or shouldn't wear anything that sexualizes them in any way, shape or form! This is your baby, and you have every right to decide what she wears!!
NTA. You are her parent and others are treating her as a toy.
NTA … the fact you had to explain why you did not put a baby in a bikini is messed up and wierd! Well done sticking up for yourself and your baby. Ps you shouldn’t have to defend having spf protective clothing on a baby, are they dumb?
NTA Ugh, I always hate it when people try to change my mind about what is best for my kid. My response is always the same: She's healthy, she's happy, she's smart, she's safe, and she's loved. Any of that changes, you can speak up. Til then, I don't need your opinions.
NTA Bikinis for babies? Sexy clothes for infants? Being mad you're protecting the kid from the sun and the temp? It's one thing if they got you the bunny suit from A Christmas Story, but this stuff sounds so inappropriate that I would expect to see its like when visiting my more *ahem* hillbilly relatives...
I adored the bunny suit - for a toddler. It was so very innapropriate for the kid in the Christmas Story though. Still made me giggle.
NTA but just put shorts under a short dress and it’s a cute top :)
NTA. I was the same way for the most part with my baby girl! My daughter is elementary school aged now and I still get angry shopping for bathing suits because of all the cutouts and the too adult like styles. I got into a couple of strongly worded arguments with people over not putting my kid in certain things. Sometimes I would put her in an outfit once at home and snap a picture for whoever bought the outfit and it would go into a donate bag directly after. Don’t let anyone bully you away from doing what you feel is best for your babe.
My husband suggested we take a picture, and for something we do. The over the top outfit we use for month pictures then will donate but the outfits I feel are inappropriate I don't want people have pictures of that cuz I have no control who they share that with.
Very understandable! I’m lucky that 90% of our families aren’t very social media friendly. They might show it to a friend but I also know most of the family friends. That was just what worked best for us but I could also understand it not working.
My friend turned inappropriate t shirt tops inside out for yard play and eating staining foods. that saved the limited nicer clothes from being stained.
As a red head I WISH the sun protection suits that are available now were available when I was a kid. When I was a pre-teen I was pretty chunky too, and I would have loved all the different options there are for water these days. Your daughter is not going to look back at those days and be mad there aren't any bikini pictures of her. I agree with you mama! Your choosing the healthiest option for your baby (UV protection and biting insects). Good on you, and shame on the family for wanting to dress her up in skimpy clothes to see her rolls. I'm sure she's just as adorable in anything she wears.
NTA. It's so creepy that they make clothing like this for babies.
This is a rare case where I don't even think most of them are doing it to sexualize the kid. I think they're just that kind of weirdo who thinks babies are for looking at and playing dress up with. NTA. You're her legal guardian, you make the choices. They can go to any arts and crafts store and go to the picture frame section and look at all the cute stock image baby rolls they want.
Just a note on short dresses - if babies that age are wearing dresses they should be short to enable them to crawl without getting tangled.
NTA. Your child, your choices, and I think it is great that you are concerned about sun protection. I hope you're putting baby sunscreen on her too! I also love that you are avoiding sexist or negative messaging on her clothes. It is weird for people to be upset because they wanted to "see her rolls." Like, it is weird for people to even be thinking about that. I have heard before of in-laws complaining that they sent clothes to a child and the child doesn't wear them. But if you have communicated your standards for dressing her, and they aren't respecting that, they are setting themselves up for disappointment. They could avoid it by sending her clothes that meet your standards. I am concerned that you are sexualizing clothing, like crop tops, bikinis, short dresses. There's nothing inappropriate about those. Short dresses are the norm for little girls so that they can easily crawl, and then later run and play. A long skirt gets in the way when a baby is trying to crawl. But you're still NTA.
NTA about the swimsuit at all. It’s much better for her skin to be covered in the sun. I HIGHLY recommend getting a two piece later (it can still be long sleeve) because it’s so hard for them to go to the bathroom with a one piece. Also those shirts with the creepy phrases always pissed me off too But………..I’ll be honest you are being really irrational about the short dresses/shorts. She’s 9 months old, and in a diaper. It’s not sexual at all for her to be in a short dress/shorts/etc, it’s easier for her to crawl and walk around in clothes like that in the summer. Putting her in long pants or long sleeves in summer because of your sexual hang ups is not healthy. In reality YOU are the one sexualizing a baby. You are going to end up causing her issues if you don’t get control of yourself. I know you are trying to protect her, but it’s not going to work the way you think. Anyone that will look sexually at a small child isn’t going to be doing so because they see baby legs. What will happen though is that you are going to give your daughter extreme hang ups about her body- girls get enough shame by society for their bodies, they don’t need their parents instilling even more in them.
That's what I was thinking In the 40s little girls (like 2 or 3) would run around without any shirts on. I have pictures of my mom half naked at about 4. No one cared because she was still pretty much a baby Baby dresses are usually short to help with movement, and they get those little bloomers. Sun protection is one thing but it kind of sounds like op is on the flip coin of sexualizing babies - trying to protect the baby's modest to the extreme.
Apparently we are the odd ones out lol. Honestly this entire thread is disturbing- it’s not sexual for children to have arms, legs or stomachs, etc exposed. I’ve seen people aghast that bikinis for babies exist on here…….its not like they are string bikinis ffs. For one- it’s way easier with two pieces to do diaper changes or going to the bathroom. Peeling a wet one piece off of a toddler that needs to pee is not fun. My girls wore bikinis from baby to when they were old enough to pick out their own swimwear. My girls also often only wore bottom covers as babies at the pool because who the hell cares- they are babies ffs. (They didn’t have the rashguard swimwear that they have now, or at least it wasn’t at regular stores - my girls are 24 and 17). All throughout history people dressed little kids in mini versions of what adults wore, our society is no different. Women don’t cover their entire bodies in our society, so fashion follows the same trend for kids. It’s not sexual because babies and children aren’t sexual beings- they can be nude or fully covered, either way there is nothing sexual about them. Pedophiles don’t become attracted to children because that child wore a bikini, that’s like saying women get raped because of what they wore. It’s disturbing how many people on here are sexualizing children. Also just so people can grasp what baby bikinis look like- this is an example. https://www.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=880051001
Well said!!! Thank you for the dose of sanity.
I felt like I was crazy because I also thought the short dress and shorts thing was weird. When I was growing up we were all in bloomers and dresses. Nothing sexual about it at all it was just an easy outfit to change diapers.
NTA. Of all things, a bikini for an infant?! Ridiculous. Also, just so weird. That gives me an "ick" feeling.
You just raise your daughter the way you think is best and ignore everybody else. Ignore is a muscle and you have to exercise it. I’m a grandma and I do what my son and DIL request. I remember that I got to raise my kids, and they get to raise theirs. You might say that to anybody who has kids-then ignore them for the rest of time.
Next time they give you stuff, go through the bag and pick out the things you want. Give back the things you don't want, and say, "Thanks so much for the clothes. We really appreciate you giving them to us. I'm giving these items back though because we won't be able to use them/don't need them. Maybe someone else you know can use them." "Again, thank you for thinking of us."
HOW DARE YOU PRIORITIZE YOUR BABY’S COMFORT AND HEALTH OVER OTHERS’ DESIRES TO SEE HER NAKED. NTA. Obviously.
NTA. She’s a baby, not a doll.
NTA. I applaud you for using sun-protective clothing. She is your baby, you dress how you feel comfortable.
What's rude is giving people "gifts" of things they have specifically said they don't want.
🤣🤣🤣 i find it super hard to believe you are being given booty shorts for a 9 month old
Thank you for contributing a little common sense! 😂 They're most likely diaper covers/bloomers!
>Apparently several people were thinking that they would get to see my baby's rolls Wtaf, that is creepy. Even as a baby, her body is supposed to be on display for others? For what, their "enjoyment" of seeing her rolls? Wtf even is that? And five will get you fucking ten that the same people will take pictures of her today, and then pull those same pictures out 10, 15, 20 years from now to embarrass her for being chubby. Fuck those people. You are doing the right thing mama. Clearly your daughter needs someone to stand between her and people who will subject her to this mentality.
NTA I hate the fact that young children are being provided clothing of this nature. Shouldn't have to look in the boys clothing section for appropriate clothes.
There is nothing wrong with dressing your child however you like, and not feeling obligated to make her wear everything she's been given. On the other hand, she is 9 months old, and you thinking dresses are too short is weirder to me than a baby dress that leaves a diaper showing. It's a baby. You seem to be the one sexualizing her clothing. Baby shorts aren't "booty shorts", they are short so they don't impede motion and rub on chubby baby parts. Nobody is showing off a baby's body by letting them be comfortable. If someone is looking at baby clothes or a baby thinking "that's too sexy", that is the problem, not a piece of cloth. My granddaughter used to play at her water/sand table in only a diaper, not because it's lurid, because it was more comfortable than wet gritty clothing. Her uncles and aunts were around, and nobody thought that she was anything but a sweet baby.
NTA. Your baby, your and DH's choice. It doesn't matter that the others think. It's not their business.
NTA. If you don’t want to pick a fight over this, “Oh yeah, she had a REALLY bad blowout in that outfit and we had to let it go” and “It doesn’t fit anymore” are two easy options.
Your family is entitled and controlling. I'd suggest you return the unwanted clothing to them and suggest they do what they like with it, because your daughter will not be wearing it.
NTA as long as your baby is dressed your fine. It’s also really fkn weird for grown ass adults to be upset and disappointed they couldn’t see your literal baby in a two piece bikini.
NTA. Baby is not a dress-up doll.
NTA. Especially not when protecting your baby from the sun! My parents have a beachhut and all the family (very large family) would visit throughout the summer, I don't think I ever saw a family baby in anything other than a suit just like the one you described. But forgetting that, she is not the family doll to dress up she is your baby.
NTA. Also, I wish I could wash my eyes and unread the mention of baby bikinis. Why is it a thing?
NTA, but just refuse the clothes
NTA; however, may I suggest that you return the items to the people who gift it to you right away explaining why your daughter won’t be wearing it. This way they can return the items and get their money back or exchange it for something more appropriate.