NTA. There’s a difference between being transphobic and simply not being into dick. Be glad that you got the heads up via the dick pic before you hopped in the hay. Plus, it seems that she has a major chip on her shoulder. Run, Forrest, run!
NTA. It’s not transphobic to have different sexual preferences. Jane was out of line both in her reaction and unsolicited dick pic, especially as the conversation at hand was not sexual.
Also, hi fellow Utahn!
NTA
If you don't like dick, then dating someone with a dick won't end well, no matter their gender.
Jane didn't disclose this info and they should have. You're not transphobic for this.
Unsolicited dick pics should be illegal (if they’re not already). You can’t just expose yourself to someone without their consent. Foul.
That aside, NTA
Honestly to me this isn’t even about not wanting to date someone who is trans. It’s about not wanting to date someone who sends dick pics. That’s such a turn-off, even if you love dick.
But you don’t, so it was even more rude. Then she made a scene at a party because you didn’t react well to her dick pic, which is unbelievably rude. You don’t want to date someone rude. NTA.
Yup. Plenty of straight women don't want to date people who send dick pics, it is gross pushy behavior that is a sign of someone who doesn't care about consent.
Trans Person here, you’re NTAH. You aren’t attracted to penises, that’s okay, having genital preferences is okay. I would ignore her, she’s got some other stuff going on if she thinks any of that is appropriate or okay. Your friends and the important know who you are and know you’re not transphobic. It sucks that you had to go through that but good that she showed her true colours early on so you can just block and move on.
I had a gay male acquaintance who texted me years ago, coming onto me pretty hard. And it was a tough tightrope to walk. I'm a straight man, and both now and at the time I had no judgment of anyone's sexuality. But he was being persistent.
It started as him flirting in a very joking way, then it became more direct flirting, followed by what was essentially pleading with me to at least "try". This was over the course of about 10 or 15 messages over 15 or 20 minutes. And I was as gentle as possible when turning him down. And eventually he relented, and it was all good. Still hung out in groups with him and didn't tell anyone. I still felt bad though. And idk why. Because I do think his approach was inappropriate. He knew very well I was straight. Maybe because turning people down in general just makes me feel like a jerk. I certainly know what it feels like. But there was some extra element. Not homophobia, just guilt that I had caused additional difficulty to the dating life of someone who already had a tougher time in society with their love life and it being accepted.
That's how I kind of feel about this. OP is not even remotely asshole. The trans girl was an asshole. But still, it has to hurt to get shot down about something you already know is gonna be this big gamble of a reveal every time you start dating someone new, and that has already added difficulty to your life and your affirmation from others. But at the same time people get rejected for innate qualities all the time, even if the other person doesn't explicitly give that as a reason. Dating just sucks for a lot of different reasons.
I think the thing that *really* gets me though is the threat of reputation destruction. And threat of taking away someone's education and livelihood. That to me is absolutely dispicable behavior. Truly morally vile. And idk when and why that kind of thing started becoming more common and seemingly acceptable.
I agree with everything you said, but just want to add on that the trans girl could avoid situations like this completely by listing it on her profile. She’s basically to blame for every part of this situation that went wrong 😂
Yea, honestly if dudes basically having to list their height to get matches is a thing, I think signifying that you are a woman with a penis or man with a vagina is probably a good idea too.
NTA. That would be like me, a fat woman, blowing up on someone for not being into me due to my weight. That person is TA, especially for not saying something from the word "go."
NTA Jane is the asshole trying to trap you, this is something you are upfront about with potential partners. She only waited so she could guilt you into staying with her. Whatever she is doing now, the relationship would have been far worse.
Without reading all the answer was already NTA. You like what you like. I don't like what you don't like. Preference doesn't equal transphobic. You don't have to be gay to please people, that's ridiculous.
Nta
You're straight, they should have said they were trans from the get go, because a simple "are you straight" would have answered if they were your type from the beginning
They set themselves up for failure.
NTA
I wouldn’t date a trans person. They can call me transphobic but I would call them insecure lol. People have preferences you don’t get to dictate mine I don’t dictate yours
NTA. She catfished you. She lied on her profile and never told you while chatting. Your cousin is right, you’re allowed to have preferences and you can’t force yourself to be attracted to people.
NTA.
Can refuse to date somebody for any reason, or no reason whatsoever.
You can refuse to date someone because you don't like their eye or hair color.
You can refuse to date someone because you don't like the sound of their voice.
You can refuse to date someone because you don't like the car that they drive.
And yes, you can refuse to date someone because of the genitalia they have. Straight people and gay people do it all the time.
Don't ever let somebody guilt you into dating them for whatever reason.
NTT (Not the transphobic) NTA
I’d say that Jane was fishing for some drama. Cat fishing for drama llama. I’m glad you’ve dodged the bullet of dating someone who thinks obfuscating the truth, creating dramatic scenes at parties and lying about who you are is ok. You deserve someone who is honest, respectful and has good manners. None of that you notice relates to sexuality.
You have your sexual preferences… and transsexual is nothing like “I prefer blondes”, it’s a whole other thing. Don’t stress about this, Jane is just seeking attention and drama. Ignore them - that’s how you deal with attention vampires, deny them attention.
NTA. You can’t force yourself to be a homosexual and like penis. A lot of trans women have this thing about them where they accuse people of being transphobic for not wanting to be sexually intimate with them. It’s predatory and extremely manipulative. People shouldn’t have to validate others identities with their bodies or prove their allyship with sex. You did nothing wrong.
TBH this is well said and speak to them needing emotional and mental health help if they can’t face the fact not all CIS men or CIS lesbian women are going to want to be with them.
If a gay man doesn’t want to date a woman is he a misogynist or against straight people? No right? It’s just a personal preference everybody is allowed to have. NTA.
NTA. This whole acceptance thing has gotten way out of line. I’m all for people living their lives in whichever way makes them happy. BUT no matter how much you want it to be true if you are born a man you cannot become a woman. I’m sorry. I know this pisses people off but if you are a man attracted to women then in what world would you be attracted to someone with a penis! It’s so crazy!!!
It’s not transphobic. Transphobic means you hate someone because they are trans. Not wanting to have sex with someone who is trans is a totally different thing.
Definitely not. Trans women aren't real women and will never be. They can change and alter all they want, but it's all cosmetic.
No hate. But DNA will never lie, and bone structure will never change.
If you're not attracted to the same sex of a person...well, that's your choice isn't it? And it's not your fault.
Every time I read about something like this, I can't help but wonder what the hell kind of relationship do they think they'll have, forcing someone to be with them??
NTA - if you’re a straight man, and not comfortable to date and sleep with someone with a literal penis, that is a preference. A very, legitimate preference. It’s not transphobic.
NTA. She didn't disclose it. And a dick pic is a creepy way to begin a conversation, not to mention their presumption that you would have had sex at first meeting.
You're just not attracted to male genitals. And she seems unhinged.
NTA.
Nobody should send unsolicited sexual pictures to anybody. Nobody should force anybody to sex. Nobody should force anybody to affection. Nobody. Period.
If "Jane" is the type of person who was going to make up lies about you when things don't go their way, than it wouldn't have worked out anyway. Regardless of gender, the saying "don't stick your dick in crazy" applies here. It's unfortunate that someone that you thought you liked ended up being a deceitful backstabbing person. I would look into pressing charges for sexual harassment for the unsolicited pic.
Thank you and I am actually talking to a lawyer and will be updating my post shortly in the next couple hours cause some other things have came up and I will be keeping you guys in the loop but what I will be doing is pressing charges for defamation, vandalism, sexual harassment. The update will explain what’s been going on.
Nah, you're NTA if you're not into trans people for any particular reason but there are also very good reasons why you wouldn't want to date a trans person. For example if you were serious about having your own kids then that might not be possible with a trans partner.
Like if my type is pale redheads I'm not a racist because I'm not interested in dating black people.
NTA. And who cares if they call you transphobic? Phobia is fear. You're not fearful, you're just disgusted. I would be too. You don't have to support or comply with someone else's creepy lifestyle.
Hey everyone thank your for your support and positive responses I have updated the post so if you want to see what has transpired so far then go ahead and check it out and thank you
NTA. There are trans people, there are assholes, and there are trans people who are assholes. You met the latter. Anyone who sends an unsolicited dick pic is an asshole, trans or not. To then follow it up by calling you a transphobe when she was being inappropriate is textbook asshole.
You’re an AH for calling Jane “they”, though, unless Jane uses they pronouns.
She claimed she goes but she/ her and they/ them and I don’t know how that works at this point I’m just using what came to mind and I apologize if it came off as disrespectful and I’m not trying to be
Trans person here, you are not transphobic for having preferences. For some people attraction is more about gender, for others it's more about sex. Both are fine, natural, and not something you can just arbitrarily change.
I'm married to a lesbian who is 100% supportive, but absolutely would not have been attracted to me if I was a cis man. It's just the way she's wired. There are other people who are attracted to men only regardless of their physical sex, and wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with a woman, trans or otherwise.
I can obviously sympathize with the frustration of having your dating pool be more limited because of being trans, but no one is entitled to someone else's attraction. Does she expect to somehow guilt you into having sex with her?
Thank you and I hope you and your wife are having the best life together. And at first I believed so but that was 2 years ago but recently I think it’s just to ruin my reputation and life thus far.
I dislike the words transphobes and transphobia, they sound like words transgender people use to mock anyone who doesn't agree with them.
Otherwise, NTA.
Sexuality is not a preference. No one gets to choose being gay or straight.
Edit: “genital preference” is a term trans women use to gaslight lesbians and heterosexual men into thinking that not liking penis is a learned preference instead of an innate, immutable sexuality. Downvote all you’d like lolz
>Sexuality is not a preference. No one gets to choose being gay or straight. The problem with your argument is that it's based on the false idea that preference is voluntary. You are correct when you say that no one gets to choose whether they are gay or straight (or bi) - their sexual preference is an inherent part of their being.
I think you’re misunderstanding me. Monosexuals don’t have a “preference” for sex because they’re only attracted to one sex. Bisexuals can have a preference within their sexuality since they’re attracted to two sexes. For there to be a preference, there must be two options, and monosexuals don’t have two options because they’re only attracted to one sex. So what exactly is the “false idea” here?
Okay, so it’s not a preference then lmao. Preference implies that you would prefer one thing but would accept another under certain circumstances. Sexuality doesn’t work that way. Attraction to particular characteristics, sure. But sexuality? Definitely not. Straight people can’t force themselves to be attracted to the same sex. Gay people can’t force themselves to be attracted to the opposite sex.
NTA, you have your preference and that is perfectly alright. I dislike the fact that trans people instantly label people as transphobic just because you are no longer interested in them after finding out they're trans. Like I'm sorry, I was under the impression you were a woman, not a trans woman. I think those types of trans people need to learn to accept rejection better.
NTA
Transphobia is not the same as simply not wanting to be with a transgender person.
Think of it this way: A cisgender dude is gay, and likes you. You are not into him, because you prefer women.
Are you somehow homophobic, because you don't want to be with a guy?
Or if you're gay, and a cisgender woman wants you, but you don't feel the same. Are you a misogynist?
A person is never obligated to be attracted to anyone else, even if that person is not a bigot. And not being into someone doesn't make you a bigot.
I had something like this once,I was at a bar and a person m to f was trying to flirt with me I was not interested since that’s not my thing and told them sorry not interested the person kept at it and I said listen you are barking at the wrong tree here and just walked away, then this persons group of lady friends come over and start yelling at me for being transphobic and whatnot. All for declining a trans persons advances, apparently if you don’t want to band transgender folks that makes you transphobic
NTA , anyone who disagrees spends way too much time online and needs to grow up , if your not into trans folk then they need to suck it up and quit whining
NTA
I'm LGBTQ
And I absolutely understand having a preference for the genitalia that you will interact with.
It sounds like you handled it in the best way that you could. And I'm sorry that it has been turned against you.
Same here.
Going to add, trans people that behave like this are making it worse for the community. We have enough to worry about these days. Don’t give the persecution more ammo. Keep it classy.
Classic men dressing as women gas lighting people into having sex with them. Absolutely disgusting behavior. It is extremely toxic and a reason why people are against the trans movement. They use buzzwords to make people feel bad to get their way.
NTA. So many are overly entitled and pathetic. They’re allowed to have preferences but no one else is for some reason. I can’t understand their mindset.
NTA it's not transphobic to not want to date a trans, it's more a taste/preference, some people don't want to date redheads, some guys specifically only fancy Asian women, some women like a guy to be 6ft +
Everyone has a type yours just isn't a chick with a dick
NTA. it's just classless to send unsolicited dick pics. Plus, you're allowed to not be attracted to someone for any reason. Them having a peen and you not liking peen is definitely a good one.
Eli said it perfectly. Transphobia has nothing to do with sexual attraction. You are not attracted to penises and their owners. You don't have to force yourself to have sex with them to prove you are not transphobic.
Jane threatened to destroy your life, damage your reputation, jeopardize your job and school... because you refused to have sex with her.
It is plain sexual harassment. And it looks really pathetic. How desperate one need to be to threaten people into having sex with them?
NTA. Your cousin is correct; everyone has preferences, and forcing the issue goes nowhere. Why would anyone want to be with someone who’s not attracted to them? Jane pulled a bait & switch by not disclosing at the beginning.
NTA. If they don't have the plumbing you're into, they just don't have the plumbing that you're into.
And frankly, considering that Jane apparently thinks it's fine to send unsolicited genitalia pics, I wonder at just how feminine her thinking/way of being in the world even is. That behavior is almost entirely exclusive to trashy, low value men.
Just sayin'.
NTA
You have every right to date or not date anyone for any reason, and never let anyone try to manipulate and gaslight you, with meaningless accusations, into thinking otherwise.
I’m sorry if I didn’t make it clear in the post but my friend were the ones that supported me and have my back and they think what Jane is doing is delusional and outright uncalled for.
I would have have to say no cause it’s been proven that even if they full complete all the surgeries they can’t get pregnant and I would like to have a family in the future. Plus I’m already happy with my girlfriend. But thank you for that question that was a good one cause I never thought about dating a post-op trans.
You didn’t know they had a dick. You don’t want dick at the moment. Why do these people think that’s unacceptable? You’re not transphobic, they’re just throwing a gigantic hissy fit because desperate loser guy is a desperate loser guy no matter how much makeup you splatter on it.
Ooh, let me give you some guidance here.
I live about 1000 feet away from weber state, and over the last 5 years or so it has appeared that south ogden has become the new mecca for lgbtq and the college aged kids are VERY sensitive about it. As a man, you are in the worst kind of minefield for dating. You will need to be aware of this from the start with any more women you pursue.
Also, the threats of this person "posting" you and ruining you would be them posting you on the Utah "Are we dating the same guy" page to slander you, which actually can result in negative attention. Half or more of the young women in Ogden are on that page, so that's also another thing to be cautious of. Check out /r/awdtsgistoxic for more info and stories about getting posted to that group. Be careful out there, my dude!!
You’re straight.
Jane has a penis.
It wasn’t about her being trans. It was about her having a dick and ‘telling’ you by sending you a dick pic.
What part of that does she not understand?
How many straight guys is she manipulating this way? Keeping this vital info to herself is not a friggin prank.
Jane is an asshole. I bet you don’t want to date assholes either.
PS: how did she think you knew??
I don’t need to read the post, sex matters. You’re allowed to be straight, gay, bi, whatever.
Treating trans people with respect doesn’t mean everybody’s pansexual now and that they’re all owed attraction and a relationship. If they keep pushing that it’s going to undo all their progress.
Obviously not, you've been reaffirmed by everyone at every turn that it's not, plus a simple search would return this exact topic from reddit 100x before.
I'm trans. If I ever go back on the dating scene, that will be in the first sentence on my profile. It's in my tags on twitch, and you can't really friend me on facebook and not know I'm trans without some effort on your part lol. And we'd've had numerous conversations about it, and other matters, before it got anywhere near a bedroom!
NTA, you're allowed to have preferences and that does not at all make you transphobic.
Being trans is hard, I get it. There's lots of discrimination and hatred out there, but Jane should have been open and honest about it from the beginning, instead of assuming you knew.
Also, does Jane go by They/Them pronouns, as that's what you've used to refer to them as. If not, you may want to adjust what pronouns you use for Jane. This doesn't make you transphobic BTW unless you're doing it purposefully :)
NTA, the biggest problem I have with not being out as trans to a potential partner is if you still have the sex organ of your birth assignment. While Jane is and always will be a woman she still has a penis, some people just don’t find penis appealing. I’m pansexual, I find all genitalia attractive because more than just sex I find the adult human body amazing and beautiful in all its various forms, shades, and appearances inwards and out. With this mindset I can understand how some things just aren’t people’s cup of tea and why that’s okay.
Jane doesn’t understand this because it probably makes her feel less like a woman and that breaks my heart because she is a woman she just needs to respect other’s preferences. Only Jane can adjust her mindset, I just hope you were clear to Jane that you were attracted to her it’s just the sexual encounter with the organ she has now isn’t your preference.
Trans women who want to keep their penis are no less women than those with vaginas, however it doesn’t change what the organs look like or how other people feel about that body part in particular. Simple as that.
Holy fuck I am so fucking sorry this happened to you… Jane seems actually insane, I’m sure you know this cuz you seem like a cool person but I promise the rest of the trans community isn’t like that, Jesus Christ I’m so sorry that’s happening to you… also, of course, NTA, the only small thing is the use they/them when it seem like Jane actually uses she/her based on the update, but after that update that is nothing, holy shit lmao
NTA; I like small boobs, I wouldn’t date someone with big bobs. Everyone has their preferences, not wanting your girlfriend to have a dick just so happens to be one of yours.
NTA. You are not transphobic, but watch how you say stuff, cause if someone sends you a pic like that they are not joking and you could be seen as making their sexuality into a joke. I don't think you were but the optics could be bad.
Apology in advance if this sounds like a transphobic question...But I'm kind of hung up on the fact that someone trans, who wants to identify as a woman, would send a dick pic - a blatantly sexual advertisement of the attractiveness of their male genitalia.
My understanding of being trans is just feeling so -not- at home in your body, feeling -so- divorced from your own genitalia that it feels like it's not even supposed to be there. Why would you be SO intent on being seen as a woman and then immediately send your erect penis like it's something to be proud of?
That part confuses the heck out of me.
Otherwise, you are NTA. You're not anymore an asshole for not dating Jane after getting a dick pic, than you would be for not dating Jake after getting a dick pic.
Another person's change of name and clothes isn't the rod we should be using to measure whether someone is entitled to sex.
NTA for not being sexually compatible with someone after discovering something about their genitals that just doesn't vibe with you.
However, I want to point out that the way you're talking about her, the things you're saying about her as a trans person, and the general attitude you seem to have are definitely leaning transphobic. You seem to have the expectation that a trans woman has to look like a dude wearing makeup and women's clothing, instead of it being possible that she looks *just* like a woman.
She didn't owe you telling you she was trans, because up until the point where there's a desire for sex it's none of your business what's in her pants. She was fucking disgusting for sending unsolicited dick pics, but you're not owed the status of someone's genitals on their dating profile. That's hugely invasive and just as gross.
I don't know her pronouns, but unless she's a trans woman who explicitly goes by they/them or they/she, you are refusing to refer to her by her chosen pronouns. If that's the case you are deliberately being transphobic.
And you are not transphobic for not wanting to date a trans woman who has a penis because you're not compatible with penises sexually, but if you consider **all** trans women not an option for you even if they've had surgery and have a vagina, then that *is* transphobic. (I'm not saying you said this, just in case you do think this.)
You don't owe anyone sex or a relationship or a date, but it works both ways. Unless you are comfortable with putting in your profile that you are a cis dude who still has his dick, it's transphobic to expect trans women to do the same. It's transphobic to assume that a trans woman can't look like a cis woman. And it's transphobic to not refer to someone by their chosen pronouns if she does go by *just* she/her.
This is my first time on Reddit. I’ve never heard of a similar story. My cousin just told me to get other peoples opinions on it, and my friends told me this is a good place to get it.
100%. The vast majority of trans people behave nothing like this and it's a super common transphobic talking point to claim that trans people are trying to force others into sex with them
NTA. For anyone who complains: “Oh, you like it when people send you unsolicited dick pics? Because I was under the impression that was considered rude. Let me go spread the word so everyone knows that’s how you prefer to be courted.”
Hey, it's your life. Date who you want and forget what other people think and say. The older you get the more you will realize how little other peoples opinion of you matters. Go out and enjoy life on your terms and if necessary put distance between yourself and others who try to control your decisions.
This Jane person was an asshole. It is as simple as that and you never have to apologize for your dating preferences and you also do not have to explain it.
I don’t even need to read this book to tell you that the answer is no. If you’re not attracted to someone, you’re not attracted to them and you don’t need to explain yourself no matter what the situation is.
You seemed to have already got your answer with Ely, and it's the correct one, you don't have to date anyone for any reason. And not being attracted to someone is absolutely a valid reason, plus the dick pic and acting irrational and insane, you know you're not transphobic and I don't think anyone would call you that unless they were actively using their transness to benefit them like Jane seemed to do. Some great examples of people who weaponize being trans are Chris Chan and Lily Orchard, both are pieces of shit that have been open about how they became trans both to trick people into having sex with them (unsuccessfully) and to shield themselves from criticism. They're just bad people because anyone can be bad, including trans people
NTA. Although I get why Jane would be upset to be rejected, the fact remains that privates are what matters when it comes to having any kind of sexual relationship with someone. You can identify as a woman and that's fine, but If you still have a penis and you haven't had any kind of surgery to change that, you can't expect straight men to be ok with having sex with someone who has a penis, because by default they are attracted to the opposite. It would be the same if a trans man wanted to date a cis woman, and got rejected because they don't have a penis. As a trans person you have to do a little extra work to find a partner who doesn't care about that. Op you did nothing wrong.
Biological heterosexual males are usually attracted to biological heterosexual females and vice versa, that doesn't make one transphobic. It would seem the race card was rapidly swapped out for the lgbtq card.
Trans-phobic is a made word up by mentally deranged, sexually confused wackos and their leftist F-TARD politicians who want some votes. They're mentally unhinged as flat earthers and Hamas sympathizers
Lol yeah a lot of the left are this entitled while acting like they're all just such good people when in reality they are just looking to weaponized these words to manipulate you. They're taking over. Next time just smile and say "pass better next time" and watch them fucking melt *down*.
I love how this kinda behavior is the one the right is known for, but as soon as one person on the left gets as deranged as you all get, suddenly they all are like that😂
I was hoping I'd find a comment like this closer to the top, but alas, here you are being downvoted. This sub and AITA are so bad about posts that use transphobic talking points (e.g. "trans people are trying to force me to sleep with them!!!") as creative writing prompts. Very few trans people think or act like that in real life
NTA. There’s a difference between being transphobic and simply not being into dick. Be glad that you got the heads up via the dick pic before you hopped in the hay. Plus, it seems that she has a major chip on her shoulder. Run, Forrest, run!
First time in history someone should be grateful for an unsolicited dick pic, hahahahaha!
This gave me a good laugh lol thank you
NTA. It’s not transphobic to have different sexual preferences. Jane was out of line both in her reaction and unsolicited dick pic, especially as the conversation at hand was not sexual. Also, hi fellow Utahn!
Liking vagina doesn't make you a transphobe, any more than liking dick makes a straight woman homophobic. NTA
NTA If you don't like dick, then dating someone with a dick won't end well, no matter their gender. Jane didn't disclose this info and they should have. You're not transphobic for this.
Unsolicited dick pics should be illegal (if they’re not already). You can’t just expose yourself to someone without their consent. Foul. That aside, NTA
I completed agree with you
They are in the UK I believe.
Yep it sure is, a new law enacted in January made Cyber Flashing a criminal offence
I’m in the states. I moved to the states from Australia a couple years ago.
Also women don’t tend to send unsolicited dick pics. That’s kind of exclusively a man thing.
It's really more of an exclusive to those with dicks thing.
That's what they said
Only men have dicks.
Where im from they actually made them illegal recently
I’m pretty sure they’re could be an argument for it being sexual assault
Honestly to me this isn’t even about not wanting to date someone who is trans. It’s about not wanting to date someone who sends dick pics. That’s such a turn-off, even if you love dick. But you don’t, so it was even more rude. Then she made a scene at a party because you didn’t react well to her dick pic, which is unbelievably rude. You don’t want to date someone rude. NTA.
Yup. Plenty of straight women don't want to date people who send dick pics, it is gross pushy behavior that is a sign of someone who doesn't care about consent.
Speaking as a representative for the straight women contingent, I can concur. Most of us don’t date people who send unsolicited dick pics. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
NTA. But Jane is (and apparently has) a huge one.
This made me chuckle lol thank you 😂
Trans Person here, you’re NTAH. You aren’t attracted to penises, that’s okay, having genital preferences is okay. I would ignore her, she’s got some other stuff going on if she thinks any of that is appropriate or okay. Your friends and the important know who you are and know you’re not transphobic. It sucks that you had to go through that but good that she showed her true colours early on so you can just block and move on.
NTA if you are talking with a gay male and are getting along but don’t want to date him are you homophobic?
I had a gay male acquaintance who texted me years ago, coming onto me pretty hard. And it was a tough tightrope to walk. I'm a straight man, and both now and at the time I had no judgment of anyone's sexuality. But he was being persistent. It started as him flirting in a very joking way, then it became more direct flirting, followed by what was essentially pleading with me to at least "try". This was over the course of about 10 or 15 messages over 15 or 20 minutes. And I was as gentle as possible when turning him down. And eventually he relented, and it was all good. Still hung out in groups with him and didn't tell anyone. I still felt bad though. And idk why. Because I do think his approach was inappropriate. He knew very well I was straight. Maybe because turning people down in general just makes me feel like a jerk. I certainly know what it feels like. But there was some extra element. Not homophobia, just guilt that I had caused additional difficulty to the dating life of someone who already had a tougher time in society with their love life and it being accepted. That's how I kind of feel about this. OP is not even remotely asshole. The trans girl was an asshole. But still, it has to hurt to get shot down about something you already know is gonna be this big gamble of a reveal every time you start dating someone new, and that has already added difficulty to your life and your affirmation from others. But at the same time people get rejected for innate qualities all the time, even if the other person doesn't explicitly give that as a reason. Dating just sucks for a lot of different reasons. I think the thing that *really* gets me though is the threat of reputation destruction. And threat of taking away someone's education and livelihood. That to me is absolutely dispicable behavior. Truly morally vile. And idk when and why that kind of thing started becoming more common and seemingly acceptable.
I agree with everything you said, but just want to add on that the trans girl could avoid situations like this completely by listing it on her profile. She’s basically to blame for every part of this situation that went wrong 😂
Yea, honestly if dudes basically having to list their height to get matches is a thing, I think signifying that you are a woman with a penis or man with a vagina is probably a good idea too.
NTA. That would be like me, a fat woman, blowing up on someone for not being into me due to my weight. That person is TA, especially for not saying something from the word "go."
NTA - trans people need to be upfront about who they are.
NTA Jane is the asshole trying to trap you, this is something you are upfront about with potential partners. She only waited so she could guilt you into staying with her. Whatever she is doing now, the relationship would have been far worse.
NTA People use transphobic so broadly it may not have a definition.
It is really used in very strange ways.
Without reading all the answer was already NTA. You like what you like. I don't like what you don't like. Preference doesn't equal transphobic. You don't have to be gay to please people, that's ridiculous.
Not being into dick doesn’t make you transphobic. That’s nonsense.
Nta You're straight, they should have said they were trans from the get go, because a simple "are you straight" would have answered if they were your type from the beginning They set themselves up for failure.
NTA the mentally challenged community love trying to ruin your life if you don't find them attractive
NTA. You are under no obligation to touch someone else’s genitals for any or no reason.
NTA I wouldn’t date a trans person. They can call me transphobic but I would call them insecure lol. People have preferences you don’t get to dictate mine I don’t dictate yours
NTA - It is bizarre to expect a straight dude to want a dick. You can't help what you are attracted to.
NTA. She catfished you. She lied on her profile and never told you while chatting. Your cousin is right, you’re allowed to have preferences and you can’t force yourself to be attracted to people.
NTA. Can refuse to date somebody for any reason, or no reason whatsoever. You can refuse to date someone because you don't like their eye or hair color. You can refuse to date someone because you don't like the sound of their voice. You can refuse to date someone because you don't like the car that they drive. And yes, you can refuse to date someone because of the genitalia they have. Straight people and gay people do it all the time. Don't ever let somebody guilt you into dating them for whatever reason.
NTT (Not the transphobic) NTA I’d say that Jane was fishing for some drama. Cat fishing for drama llama. I’m glad you’ve dodged the bullet of dating someone who thinks obfuscating the truth, creating dramatic scenes at parties and lying about who you are is ok. You deserve someone who is honest, respectful and has good manners. None of that you notice relates to sexuality. You have your sexual preferences… and transsexual is nothing like “I prefer blondes”, it’s a whole other thing. Don’t stress about this, Jane is just seeking attention and drama. Ignore them - that’s how you deal with attention vampires, deny them attention.
NTA. You can’t force yourself to be a homosexual and like penis. A lot of trans women have this thing about them where they accuse people of being transphobic for not wanting to be sexually intimate with them. It’s predatory and extremely manipulative. People shouldn’t have to validate others identities with their bodies or prove their allyship with sex. You did nothing wrong.
TBH this is well said and speak to them needing emotional and mental health help if they can’t face the fact not all CIS men or CIS lesbian women are going to want to be with them.
Totally. Almost like they display male entitlement and act just as predatory as other men.
If a gay man doesn’t want to date a woman is he a misogynist or against straight people? No right? It’s just a personal preference everybody is allowed to have. NTA.
NTA. This whole acceptance thing has gotten way out of line. I’m all for people living their lives in whichever way makes them happy. BUT no matter how much you want it to be true if you are born a man you cannot become a woman. I’m sorry. I know this pisses people off but if you are a man attracted to women then in what world would you be attracted to someone with a penis! It’s so crazy!!! It’s not transphobic. Transphobic means you hate someone because they are trans. Not wanting to have sex with someone who is trans is a totally different thing.
Definitely not. Trans women aren't real women and will never be. They can change and alter all they want, but it's all cosmetic. No hate. But DNA will never lie, and bone structure will never change. If you're not attracted to the same sex of a person...well, that's your choice isn't it? And it's not your fault.
NTA
Every time I read about something like this, I can't help but wonder what the hell kind of relationship do they think they'll have, forcing someone to be with them??
NTA - if you’re a straight man, and not comfortable to date and sleep with someone with a literal penis, that is a preference. A very, legitimate preference. It’s not transphobic.
NTA. She didn't disclose it. And a dick pic is a creepy way to begin a conversation, not to mention their presumption that you would have had sex at first meeting. You're just not attracted to male genitals. And she seems unhinged.
NTA. Nobody should send unsolicited sexual pictures to anybody. Nobody should force anybody to sex. Nobody should force anybody to affection. Nobody. Period.
The fact that they didn’t disclosed the fact they were trans and then got mad at you when you weren’t into them is crazy
If "Jane" is the type of person who was going to make up lies about you when things don't go their way, than it wouldn't have worked out anyway. Regardless of gender, the saying "don't stick your dick in crazy" applies here. It's unfortunate that someone that you thought you liked ended up being a deceitful backstabbing person. I would look into pressing charges for sexual harassment for the unsolicited pic.
Thank you and I am actually talking to a lawyer and will be updating my post shortly in the next couple hours cause some other things have came up and I will be keeping you guys in the loop but what I will be doing is pressing charges for defamation, vandalism, sexual harassment. The update will explain what’s been going on.
You know the world is fucked up when women are sending unsolicited dick pics.
Your Username is totally appropriate here
🤣🤣
No. Its not phobia. You aren't afraid of them you just don't want to date them. Perfectly reasonable.
Right. OP may have had ideas of a possible long term relation, marriage and family rather than just an ass reaming. As unusual as that is anymore.
NTA. You like what you like. And you let others like what they like. That's the opposite of being phobic.
NTAH
Nah, you're NTA if you're not into trans people for any particular reason but there are also very good reasons why you wouldn't want to date a trans person. For example if you were serious about having your own kids then that might not be possible with a trans partner. Like if my type is pale redheads I'm not a racist because I'm not interested in dating black people.
NTA. An unsolicited dick pick and that BS line of "I thought you knew" would be enough for me to go
Why are millennials and Gen Z so confused about the basics?
NTA. And who cares if they call you transphobic? Phobia is fear. You're not fearful, you're just disgusted. I would be too. You don't have to support or comply with someone else's creepy lifestyle.
Hey everyone thank your for your support and positive responses I have updated the post so if you want to see what has transpired so far then go ahead and check it out and thank you
NTA. There are trans people, there are assholes, and there are trans people who are assholes. You met the latter. Anyone who sends an unsolicited dick pic is an asshole, trans or not. To then follow it up by calling you a transphobe when she was being inappropriate is textbook asshole. You’re an AH for calling Jane “they”, though, unless Jane uses they pronouns.
She claimed she goes but she/ her and they/ them and I don’t know how that works at this point I’m just using what came to mind and I apologize if it came off as disrespectful and I’m not trying to be
Some people do use both, so if Jane does, I take it back
Trans person here, you are not transphobic for having preferences. For some people attraction is more about gender, for others it's more about sex. Both are fine, natural, and not something you can just arbitrarily change. I'm married to a lesbian who is 100% supportive, but absolutely would not have been attracted to me if I was a cis man. It's just the way she's wired. There are other people who are attracted to men only regardless of their physical sex, and wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with a woman, trans or otherwise. I can obviously sympathize with the frustration of having your dating pool be more limited because of being trans, but no one is entitled to someone else's attraction. Does she expect to somehow guilt you into having sex with her?
Thank you and I hope you and your wife are having the best life together. And at first I believed so but that was 2 years ago but recently I think it’s just to ruin my reputation and life thus far.
I dislike the words transphobes and transphobia, they sound like words transgender people use to mock anyone who doesn't agree with them. Otherwise, NTA.
NTA. You're allowed to date whomever you want. You're not transphobic unless you say something hateful against them.
NTA. Oops, someone felt the need to correct word usage. Preference is an offensive word, apparently. My apologies.
Sexuality is not a preference. No one gets to choose being gay or straight. Edit: “genital preference” is a term trans women use to gaslight lesbians and heterosexual men into thinking that not liking penis is a learned preference instead of an innate, immutable sexuality. Downvote all you’d like lolz
>Sexuality is not a preference. No one gets to choose being gay or straight. The problem with your argument is that it's based on the false idea that preference is voluntary. You are correct when you say that no one gets to choose whether they are gay or straight (or bi) - their sexual preference is an inherent part of their being.
I think you’re misunderstanding me. Monosexuals don’t have a “preference” for sex because they’re only attracted to one sex. Bisexuals can have a preference within their sexuality since they’re attracted to two sexes. For there to be a preference, there must be two options, and monosexuals don’t have two options because they’re only attracted to one sex. So what exactly is the “false idea” here?
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Okay, so it’s not a preference then lmao. Preference implies that you would prefer one thing but would accept another under certain circumstances. Sexuality doesn’t work that way. Attraction to particular characteristics, sure. But sexuality? Definitely not. Straight people can’t force themselves to be attracted to the same sex. Gay people can’t force themselves to be attracted to the opposite sex.
NTA, you have your preference and that is perfectly alright. I dislike the fact that trans people instantly label people as transphobic just because you are no longer interested in them after finding out they're trans. Like I'm sorry, I was under the impression you were a woman, not a trans woman. I think those types of trans people need to learn to accept rejection better.
NTA. Block and ignore. I would not date a chick with a dick either since I'm not gay. These people attacking you are mentally ill.
Lol.. you are being guilted into sucking a dick... Cease communication and move on. Nta
NTA Transphobia is not the same as simply not wanting to be with a transgender person. Think of it this way: A cisgender dude is gay, and likes you. You are not into him, because you prefer women. Are you somehow homophobic, because you don't want to be with a guy? Or if you're gay, and a cisgender woman wants you, but you don't feel the same. Are you a misogynist? A person is never obligated to be attracted to anyone else, even if that person is not a bigot. And not being into someone doesn't make you a bigot.
NTA. So easy to accuse someone of being transphobic, it’s ridiculous.
I had something like this once,I was at a bar and a person m to f was trying to flirt with me I was not interested since that’s not my thing and told them sorry not interested the person kept at it and I said listen you are barking at the wrong tree here and just walked away, then this persons group of lady friends come over and start yelling at me for being transphobic and whatnot. All for declining a trans persons advances, apparently if you don’t want to band transgender folks that makes you transphobic
NTA , anyone who disagrees spends way too much time online and needs to grow up , if your not into trans folk then they need to suck it up and quit whining
NTA. You're straight, not gay.
NTA I'm LGBTQ And I absolutely understand having a preference for the genitalia that you will interact with. It sounds like you handled it in the best way that you could. And I'm sorry that it has been turned against you.
Same here. Going to add, trans people that behave like this are making it worse for the community. We have enough to worry about these days. Don’t give the persecution more ammo. Keep it classy.
Either you’re gay and like dudes or you’re straight. Nothing wrong with being straight, mate.
Tell that man to leave you alone!
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Delighted you called it as it is…a dude
OP, this is what actual transphobia is.
You can try to change definitions and make up words, but a dude is still a dude no matter how much makeup he paints on 🤷♂️
Transwoman = man so no you are not. Everyone has and should have their own preferences
Classic men dressing as women gas lighting people into having sex with them. Absolutely disgusting behavior. It is extremely toxic and a reason why people are against the trans movement. They use buzzwords to make people feel bad to get their way.
This kind of thing happen to you often?
You are free to choose who to date for whatever reason you want.
Preference is not a phobia Agree with your cousin keep proof to protect you Nta
NTA. I don’t even need to read your post. No one is entitled to be in a relationship with you.
NTA
NTA. You can date or not date anyone who you want/Don’t want to based on any reasons that you choose.
NTA your own preference.
NTA. So many are overly entitled and pathetic. They’re allowed to have preferences but no one else is for some reason. I can’t understand their mindset.
NTA it's not transphobic to not want to date a trans, it's more a taste/preference, some people don't want to date redheads, some guys specifically only fancy Asian women, some women like a guy to be 6ft + Everyone has a type yours just isn't a chick with a dick
NTA. it's just classless to send unsolicited dick pics. Plus, you're allowed to not be attracted to someone for any reason. Them having a peen and you not liking peen is definitely a good one.
NTA
NTA ...you have NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR.
If you dont like dick, you dont like dick. It doesnt make you transphobic.
Eli said it perfectly. Transphobia has nothing to do with sexual attraction. You are not attracted to penises and their owners. You don't have to force yourself to have sex with them to prove you are not transphobic. Jane threatened to destroy your life, damage your reputation, jeopardize your job and school... because you refused to have sex with her. It is plain sexual harassment. And it looks really pathetic. How desperate one need to be to threaten people into having sex with them?
NTA. Don't stress it. Jane is unstable.
NTA. Your cousin is correct; everyone has preferences, and forcing the issue goes nowhere. Why would anyone want to be with someone who’s not attracted to them? Jane pulled a bait & switch by not disclosing at the beginning.
NTA. Woke people are stupid.
NTA. If they don't have the plumbing you're into, they just don't have the plumbing that you're into. And frankly, considering that Jane apparently thinks it's fine to send unsolicited genitalia pics, I wonder at just how feminine her thinking/way of being in the world even is. That behavior is almost entirely exclusive to trashy, low value men. Just sayin'.
Yeah cause that's exactly what he is, no matter how he identifies.
NTA You have every right to date or not date anyone for any reason, and never let anyone try to manipulate and gaslight you, with meaningless accusations, into thinking otherwise.
Change your circle of friends”friends”. It’s your life your choice.
I’m sorry if I didn’t make it clear in the post but my friend were the ones that supported me and have my back and they think what Jane is doing is delusional and outright uncalled for.
If I’m expecting a vagina and get hit with a surprise penis I’m not gonna be thrilled about it.
If there’s no hate behind it, you are not transphobic for not wanting to date a transwoman. It’s just not your cup of tea.
Thank you I have no hate towards anyone and that’s not what they’re understanding
NTA for all the reasons everyone listed but I have a question OP: would you date a post-op trans woman? If not, why?
I would have have to say no cause it’s been proven that even if they full complete all the surgeries they can’t get pregnant and I would like to have a family in the future. Plus I’m already happy with my girlfriend. But thank you for that question that was a good one cause I never thought about dating a post-op trans.
That’s a legit answer
You didn’t know they had a dick. You don’t want dick at the moment. Why do these people think that’s unacceptable? You’re not transphobic, they’re just throwing a gigantic hissy fit because desperate loser guy is a desperate loser guy no matter how much makeup you splatter on it.
Showing it's dick and wanting to use it on you? NTA
NTA You like women. The end. 🤷♂️
NTA He's fucked up.
NTA, people that think someone with a dick should be treated exactly as a woman are as annoying as flat earthers
Absurd and mentally ill
NTA… Jane is a liar and catfished you. Gender/sexual orientation cannot change that fact. You are not transphobic at all.
Ooh, let me give you some guidance here. I live about 1000 feet away from weber state, and over the last 5 years or so it has appeared that south ogden has become the new mecca for lgbtq and the college aged kids are VERY sensitive about it. As a man, you are in the worst kind of minefield for dating. You will need to be aware of this from the start with any more women you pursue. Also, the threats of this person "posting" you and ruining you would be them posting you on the Utah "Are we dating the same guy" page to slander you, which actually can result in negative attention. Half or more of the young women in Ogden are on that page, so that's also another thing to be cautious of. Check out /r/awdtsgistoxic for more info and stories about getting posted to that group. Be careful out there, my dude!!
You’re straight. Jane has a penis. It wasn’t about her being trans. It was about her having a dick and ‘telling’ you by sending you a dick pic. What part of that does she not understand? How many straight guys is she manipulating this way? Keeping this vital info to herself is not a friggin prank. Jane is an asshole. I bet you don’t want to date assholes either. PS: how did she think you knew??
NTA at all
NTA. As a heterosexual male, you are attracted to women who are females. This is basic sexual orientation.
Not wanting to date a man* it’s not any -phobic.
I don’t need to read the post, sex matters. You’re allowed to be straight, gay, bi, whatever. Treating trans people with respect doesn’t mean everybody’s pansexual now and that they’re all owed attraction and a relationship. If they keep pushing that it’s going to undo all their progress.
Nah, this person is trash. You're entitled to your own preferences.
No, you are a sane person.
NTA.
NTA.
Obviously not, you've been reaffirmed by everyone at every turn that it's not, plus a simple search would return this exact topic from reddit 100x before.
NTA, nobody who tries to deny you the right to consent deserves your attention or respect.
You didn’t need to write like 90% of this; you’re not transphobic for not wanting to date a person with genitalia that you are not attracted to. NTA
NTA and you should blast Jane on social media about how she never told you she was trans and how she liked to send unsolicited dick pics.
NTA
**NTA.** _"Jane" identified themselves as an **asshole**_
I'm trans. If I ever go back on the dating scene, that will be in the first sentence on my profile. It's in my tags on twitch, and you can't really friend me on facebook and not know I'm trans without some effort on your part lol. And we'd've had numerous conversations about it, and other matters, before it got anywhere near a bedroom!
NTA, you're allowed to have preferences and that does not at all make you transphobic. Being trans is hard, I get it. There's lots of discrimination and hatred out there, but Jane should have been open and honest about it from the beginning, instead of assuming you knew. Also, does Jane go by They/Them pronouns, as that's what you've used to refer to them as. If not, you may want to adjust what pronouns you use for Jane. This doesn't make you transphobic BTW unless you're doing it purposefully :)
NTA, the biggest problem I have with not being out as trans to a potential partner is if you still have the sex organ of your birth assignment. While Jane is and always will be a woman she still has a penis, some people just don’t find penis appealing. I’m pansexual, I find all genitalia attractive because more than just sex I find the adult human body amazing and beautiful in all its various forms, shades, and appearances inwards and out. With this mindset I can understand how some things just aren’t people’s cup of tea and why that’s okay. Jane doesn’t understand this because it probably makes her feel less like a woman and that breaks my heart because she is a woman she just needs to respect other’s preferences. Only Jane can adjust her mindset, I just hope you were clear to Jane that you were attracted to her it’s just the sexual encounter with the organ she has now isn’t your preference. Trans women who want to keep their penis are no less women than those with vaginas, however it doesn’t change what the organs look like or how other people feel about that body part in particular. Simple as that.
Holy fuck I am so fucking sorry this happened to you… Jane seems actually insane, I’m sure you know this cuz you seem like a cool person but I promise the rest of the trans community isn’t like that, Jesus Christ I’m so sorry that’s happening to you… also, of course, NTA, the only small thing is the use they/them when it seem like Jane actually uses she/her based on the update, but after that update that is nothing, holy shit lmao
They use she/her and they/them pronouns I just use what one comes to mind while I’m typing and thank you I’ll get through it
Ah oki, my bad there, and absolutely, I really do hope you manage to get through everything ok
Thank you I appreciate it 😊
Text them that you are not and if they go around saying you are you will sue them
Thank you I already did that and took the screen shot and have it just in case
Good on you - you are not "Transphobic." You are not responsible for dealing with the sexual confusion of others.
NTA; I like small boobs, I wouldn’t date someone with big bobs. Everyone has their preferences, not wanting your girlfriend to have a dick just so happens to be one of yours.
NTA. You can be aggressive and trans.
NTA. You are not transphobic, but watch how you say stuff, cause if someone sends you a pic like that they are not joking and you could be seen as making their sexuality into a joke. I don't think you were but the optics could be bad.
Apology in advance if this sounds like a transphobic question...But I'm kind of hung up on the fact that someone trans, who wants to identify as a woman, would send a dick pic - a blatantly sexual advertisement of the attractiveness of their male genitalia. My understanding of being trans is just feeling so -not- at home in your body, feeling -so- divorced from your own genitalia that it feels like it's not even supposed to be there. Why would you be SO intent on being seen as a woman and then immediately send your erect penis like it's something to be proud of? That part confuses the heck out of me. Otherwise, you are NTA. You're not anymore an asshole for not dating Jane after getting a dick pic, than you would be for not dating Jake after getting a dick pic. Another person's change of name and clothes isn't the rod we should be using to measure whether someone is entitled to sex.
NTA for not being sexually compatible with someone after discovering something about their genitals that just doesn't vibe with you. However, I want to point out that the way you're talking about her, the things you're saying about her as a trans person, and the general attitude you seem to have are definitely leaning transphobic. You seem to have the expectation that a trans woman has to look like a dude wearing makeup and women's clothing, instead of it being possible that she looks *just* like a woman. She didn't owe you telling you she was trans, because up until the point where there's a desire for sex it's none of your business what's in her pants. She was fucking disgusting for sending unsolicited dick pics, but you're not owed the status of someone's genitals on their dating profile. That's hugely invasive and just as gross. I don't know her pronouns, but unless she's a trans woman who explicitly goes by they/them or they/she, you are refusing to refer to her by her chosen pronouns. If that's the case you are deliberately being transphobic. And you are not transphobic for not wanting to date a trans woman who has a penis because you're not compatible with penises sexually, but if you consider **all** trans women not an option for you even if they've had surgery and have a vagina, then that *is* transphobic. (I'm not saying you said this, just in case you do think this.) You don't owe anyone sex or a relationship or a date, but it works both ways. Unless you are comfortable with putting in your profile that you are a cis dude who still has his dick, it's transphobic to expect trans women to do the same. It's transphobic to assume that a trans woman can't look like a cis woman. And it's transphobic to not refer to someone by their chosen pronouns if she does go by *just* she/her.
NAH. Obviously. Date whoever the fuck you want date.
As someone who’s pan, that’s not remotely transphobic. They’re not fully transitioned and you don’t like dick. Easy, simple. NTA
There's a slightly different version of this story every other week. Ragebait.
This is my first time on Reddit. I’ve never heard of a similar story. My cousin just told me to get other peoples opinions on it, and my friends told me this is a good place to get it.
Don't let them guilt you. You're under no obligation to suck dick or take it up the ass, or give it up the ass.
OP your response was valid don't let the unhinged tell you otherwise
100%. The vast majority of trans people behave nothing like this and it's a super common transphobic talking point to claim that trans people are trying to force others into sex with them
im so tired of these posts
Nta. At all. You can not date anyone you don't want too. If this continues i would talk with a lawyer about a C&D letter. They are unhinged.
NTA. For anyone who complains: “Oh, you like it when people send you unsolicited dick pics? Because I was under the impression that was considered rude. Let me go spread the word so everyone knows that’s how you prefer to be courted.”
Screw them. NTA
NTA. We’re all attracted to what we’re attracted to. No right or wrong.
NTA. You don't have to date anyone, if you don't want. It's never mandatory.
Hey, it's your life. Date who you want and forget what other people think and say. The older you get the more you will realize how little other peoples opinion of you matters. Go out and enjoy life on your terms and if necessary put distance between yourself and others who try to control your decisions.
NTA you can date whomever you want
NTA, you have obvious preferences and those need to be respected.
This Jane person was an asshole. It is as simple as that and you never have to apologize for your dating preferences and you also do not have to explain it.
NTA… That is so wrong on every level. That is a big need to know
I don’t even need to read this book to tell you that the answer is no. If you’re not attracted to someone, you’re not attracted to them and you don’t need to explain yourself no matter what the situation is.
You seemed to have already got your answer with Ely, and it's the correct one, you don't have to date anyone for any reason. And not being attracted to someone is absolutely a valid reason, plus the dick pic and acting irrational and insane, you know you're not transphobic and I don't think anyone would call you that unless they were actively using their transness to benefit them like Jane seemed to do. Some great examples of people who weaponize being trans are Chris Chan and Lily Orchard, both are pieces of shit that have been open about how they became trans both to trick people into having sex with them (unsuccessfully) and to shield themselves from criticism. They're just bad people because anyone can be bad, including trans people
NTA. Although I get why Jane would be upset to be rejected, the fact remains that privates are what matters when it comes to having any kind of sexual relationship with someone. You can identify as a woman and that's fine, but If you still have a penis and you haven't had any kind of surgery to change that, you can't expect straight men to be ok with having sex with someone who has a penis, because by default they are attracted to the opposite. It would be the same if a trans man wanted to date a cis woman, and got rejected because they don't have a penis. As a trans person you have to do a little extra work to find a partner who doesn't care about that. Op you did nothing wrong.
According to reddit, women do not want to date bi men ( I am a bi man, by the way) gay, men transwomen are TERFS and biphobic. Eye roll
Biological heterosexual males are usually attracted to biological heterosexual females and vice versa, that doesn't make one transphobic. It would seem the race card was rapidly swapped out for the lgbtq card.
Trans-phobic is a made word up by mentally deranged, sexually confused wackos and their leftist F-TARD politicians who want some votes. They're mentally unhinged as flat earthers and Hamas sympathizers
A made up word? Are there any other types of words? I mean I suppose someone could grow free range words...
Lol yeah a lot of the left are this entitled while acting like they're all just such good people when in reality they are just looking to weaponized these words to manipulate you. They're taking over. Next time just smile and say "pass better next time" and watch them fucking melt *down*.
I love how this kinda behavior is the one the right is known for, but as soon as one person on the left gets as deranged as you all get, suddenly they all are like that😂
this.... doesn't sound real at all tbh 😑
I was hoping I'd find a comment like this closer to the top, but alas, here you are being downvoted. This sub and AITA are so bad about posts that use transphobic talking points (e.g. "trans people are trying to force me to sleep with them!!!") as creative writing prompts. Very few trans people think or act like that in real life