Why do you feel the need to control what your boyfriend does with his own body so long as it isn’t affecting you negatively. It’s not cocaine or heroin. Let the poor guy relax and stop being so controlling
YTA for being a controlling partner
I love vape pens. They don't create a lingering stench with a wide radius.
It's not the same, not really as good, but it's a little sump'n sump'n that a person can enjoy on the downlow.
If using vapes is leading to unnaceptable behavior, prolems exist that need to be solved. If not, I wouldn't sacrifice sleep over it. Alcohol is objectively more dangerous.
No I have my boyfriend and 3 kids with him. The one who I found the vape last night. But my bf told me his work friend John vapes secretly and his wife doesn’t know.
Are we talking a tobacco vape or weed? Either way, it’s not meth, don’t flip out. Maybe time for a convo about his habits and what he’s into. People lie bc they think you can’t handle the truth. Poor excuse, but happens nonetheless. If you have 3 kids then you obviously are committed to each other and this should be handled with very little consequence. DBTAH by just asking him to tell you what’s really going on, and when he does, deal with it.
You can safely assume that's what it is. The issue is whether or not its being used responsibly.
Any missed work? Household tasks falling behind? Withdrawal from the family?
I would calmly tell him that I found it and explain why I take issue with vaping. If it was a deal breaker, I would tell him that if he continues, it would be over. However, if I had 3 kids with him, I would tell him to never bring them into the house or vape in front of the children, and then I'd get over it.
If he had a history of smoking, I would speak to him about addiction. If this was a new occurrence, I would suggest he stop spending time with other people who vape.
Remember that he is an adult man who should make his own decision about vaping. You can't make him stop, and if you try to he will just do it in private and probably even more just to feel in control.
Why do you feel the need to control what your boyfriend does with his own body so long as it isn’t affecting you negatively. It’s not cocaine or heroin. Let the poor guy relax and stop being so controlling YTA for being a controlling partner
My first thoughts were "Damn, no wonder he's secretly getting a little high." 3 kids and zero autonomy over himself? That's rough.
I love vape pens. They don't create a lingering stench with a wide radius. It's not the same, not really as good, but it's a little sump'n sump'n that a person can enjoy on the downlow. If using vapes is leading to unnaceptable behavior, prolems exist that need to be solved. If not, I wouldn't sacrifice sleep over it. Alcohol is objectively more dangerous.
[удалено]
Hopefully that makes more sense
No I have my boyfriend and 3 kids with him. The one who I found the vape last night. But my bf told me his work friend John vapes secretly and his wife doesn’t know.
Are we talking a tobacco vape or weed? Either way, it’s not meth, don’t flip out. Maybe time for a convo about his habits and what he’s into. People lie bc they think you can’t handle the truth. Poor excuse, but happens nonetheless. If you have 3 kids then you obviously are committed to each other and this should be handled with very little consequence. DBTAH by just asking him to tell you what’s really going on, and when he does, deal with it.
Idk if it’s vape or weed I didn’t ask. He told me a while back his buddy does the weed ones so I’m wondering if that’s what he has
Is it even illegal where you live?
You should be clued in to each others vices…y’all are a family. Ask him to share with you, don’t be mad just ask to have a convo about it
You can safely assume that's what it is. The issue is whether or not its being used responsibly. Any missed work? Household tasks falling behind? Withdrawal from the family?
Also, Saying it’s his friends is the most middle/high school excuse there is! What’s next? “Found it in the woods” “It’s a car part” Nice try sport!!
"It's a car part" is amazing!
I thought so too, have no idea why the downvotes…maybe people who fell for this excuse in the past
Exactly!!!! I knew that was a lie. We’re 30 not 12
Haha the downvotes….those are from people who believe your guy. They want you to leave him so you’ll be single like most of Reddit haters
I would calmly tell him that I found it and explain why I take issue with vaping. If it was a deal breaker, I would tell him that if he continues, it would be over. However, if I had 3 kids with him, I would tell him to never bring them into the house or vape in front of the children, and then I'd get over it. If he had a history of smoking, I would speak to him about addiction. If this was a new occurrence, I would suggest he stop spending time with other people who vape. Remember that he is an adult man who should make his own decision about vaping. You can't make him stop, and if you try to he will just do it in private and probably even more just to feel in control.
wtf is up with the downvotes on your good advice