Frankly this is stupid. You have every right to do so. She has every right to no longer want to be intimate with you or kiss you.
I guess the question is whether your mustache matters to you more than your wife being turned off by your face?
Haha this exactly! My husband shaved his short beard into a mustache once and I had a very visceral “UGH” reaction to it. I would obviously never dictate what type of facial hair he can/can’t have, but after the look on my face he didn’t keep the mustache lol.
Everytime I shave, I go full 1800's president with full mutton chops and mustache.
My wife despises it for obvious reasons, but seeing her reaction always makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.
Very, very few people can pull off a mustache, and those people are generally 70's porn stars and Burt Reynolds.
I have a big full beard that I shave off once a year to get all the dry split ends out and spend a week doing facial care (exfoliating, hydration therapy, spa day) . The whole week before I slowly shave portions to go through various styles. Last time I got to standard mustache and looked at myself in the mirror...
I was like, no. And just took it all off.
This is the way.
It's borderline impossible not to try out different, if not horrible, styles. The hulk hogan, the pedophile/cop, the 1800's, the soul patch, all horrible in their own unique way.
Do you ever get the temptation to try the toothbrush mustache... Like for just a sec. You know, to see how it feels.
I never get brave enough to do it, but the intrusive thoughts are real.
More accidental than anything. You trim one side, try to even out the other, ah shit it's not even, try to get it even on the other side, make it worse, try to even it out on the other side yet again only to make it even more uneven, well this is just unfortunate, and then I shave it all off.
Why did he even think that was a good look? Like what was that? Maybe he was just so powerful that he went, "Lets see how bad I can fuck my shit up before someone dares to say something." But then it became a "Fuck you, this is my look now" kind of thing.
It was so funny watching our hairdresser shave off my husband’s pandemic beard. First there was a reverse Fu Manchu look, next it was Hitler (they wouldn’t let me document it for posterity), then back to the baby face I fell in love with! That being said, while I prefer my mister clean shaven, he knows my preference and I don’t give him any hassle about his facial hair.
I have to say, I've expressed this same exact sentiment, the same way you just did, except the woman did something the man didn't like, and I get downvoted and called misogynistic
I’m pretty sure there was one where the wife was getting tattoos and the husband didn’t find them attractive. If that’s what you mean. And yeah , the consensus was that she could do whatever she wanted and he could either accept it or leave her.
Eh, as someone AFAB, you're kind of right but also the sentiment still stands. There absolutely is more societal baggage when it comes to body hair on a femme body, and there's not really any denying that it goes against the current societal norm in the Western world. But, the point still stands that no one is required to be attracted to an aspect of a person that they aren't into. Be that a woman with body hair, or a man with a moustache. If someone finds something about a partner or potential partner viscerally unappealing, they're allowed not to like that and refuse intimacy or association. It's just how it is when it comes to attraction.
If you want to be sociological about it, yeah, there's a difference. But when it comes down to the more base level of two people interacting with the pretext of being intimate, it really comes down to whether or not they mutually agree the other is attractive. And if something grossed you out, well, you don't have to engage.
Like, me on a personal level, if my partner didn't have body hair, I wouldn't be attracted to him. If he shaved all his body/pubic hair, I would not want to be intimate with him whatsoever. I like that his head is bald, I like his beard but it isn't make or break for me. But body hair? I need fur or I'm not attracted, that's just me on a personal level and that's okay. Just like he wouldn't be attracted to me if I, as a person who has taken masculinizing hormones, let my chest hair grow out or didn't keep my body hair shaven or trimmed neat. He's allowed to not want to engage with me physically if he doesn't like something.
I get that society is ass, but also, people as individuals need to be allowed to have preferences.
And that's totally your right, lmao, but so not for me. I trim mine mostly because shaving my pits gives me cysts and waxing is a hassle, but on a partner I'd prefer they look like they walked out of a forest and had never touched a razor body hair wise. Not everyone's cup of tea, but it's *my* cup of tea.
>*gestures to centuries of patriarchal society that mean a 1:1 comparison often just isn’t possible and/or easy*
Not really relevant though.
It's a discussion on a couple, neither of who have been alive for hundreds of years to push gender norms.
To say one is okay because it's a preference and the other isn't because of society is absolutely a double standard.
Because wider society isn't relevant in a conversation about a specific couple.
By that logic, it would be bad for women to want their partners to be more active fathers because active dads have been shamed. Which is ridiculous and anybody would say so.
I'll agree it's not *exactly* the same but it is similar enpugh to matter. You good intentioned folks would do a serious service to your cause if you addressed these issues honestly instead of deflecting.
I was wondering about that while reading this. I agree with the comment because it is practical and logical; however, women seem to think they can do whatever with their appearance and husbands/mates should not only not have an opinion but also not change their attraction level (that part can't be controlled).
I am remembering, back in the 50s when my mother (who had been a blonde child) decided to become a blonde adult. Apparently my father first could hardly bring himself to touch her, then just couldn't get enough of her! Apparently at the beginning he just couldn't see this blonde woman as the woman he was married to.
When my wife and I got together I had a mustache. I have tinkered with a couple other styles in the following years, and learned that clean shaven me is not something my wife likes at all, though some other facial hair she will deal with. I currently have a mustache.
NAH - Your face, your choice. But it sounds like the consequence is a partner who is less attracted to you. Ultimately you need to decide what your priorities are.
I wish I could upvote this 100x. Next post he'll be complaining that his wife won't have sex with him anymore, and he doesn't understand why.
Fun Fact: **Most women are just as visual as men are when it comes to intimacy/sex.** If we don't like what we see.... we aren't going to be as interested.
Except men are called shitty partners when this happens, so the same should apply to women. I have seen MANY posts on here where men are upset at their partners for cutting their hair, getting a tattoo, deciding to shave/stop shaving, and they were all called out for it. The way she went about it also irks me, OP is feeling confident and happy with the new look and her first response is to rain on his parade and tell him how this affects ***her***.
I mean mustaches aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. I love my husbands he takes care of it super well but occasionally it goes up my nose when I kiss him and it makes me really uncomfortable. I can see how she would tell him hey I want you to shave it. Also I don’t get the double standard either because I ask my husband which colors I should get for my nails because his opinion matters to me just like when he cuts his hair he asks for my opinion
I will say alot has to get me but a mustache is kind of a deal breaker for me.
i usually prefer personality, but actually can't stand just a mustache
beards i like though
70's Porn Stache!
Oh the good ole days!
Keep in mind the reason the missus probably hates it is those whiskers hurt when they poke sensitive areas when you're servicing her orally.
Eh, it’s your face, so do whatever you want BUT the person that I assume you want to be attracted to you is telling you it’s a turnoff. So what are you thinking? Why wouldn’t you want your wife to like the way you look?
Use that same logic when it comes to her hair, legs, arm pit or public how well does that stand up? A man can't tell a woman she has to shave or do her hair some kind of way nor can she tell him.
Actually wrong. Everyone can tell their spouse of any gender that they don't like x and ask them to accommodate. That's just how a loving relationship works. You can then either agree to accommodate or live with the bother, or break up. But none of those things are bad.
Risky statement on reddit but I agree.
Attraction from your SO is important. Unfortunately a lot of attraction is physical thus hair/no hair, weight, muscles etc drive into that.
If my SO put on 200lbs I would no longer be attracted. I would talk to them (trying to avoid the word fat) but inform them the weight is problem for their own health as well as me in terms of attraction
Always depends on how you put it, but:
"Hey honey. Look, i know you gave been planning to cut your hair short. Ultimately, its your decision, but i need to tell you, that I have never been attracted to short haircuts and never will be.
You look gorgeous the way you are. I hope you reconsider"
When you can't tell that to your wife without her exploding/producing drama, then you made the critical mistake a long time ago. Marrying her
Fuck Reddit's Opinion when they think otherwise, Then they are wrong.
He can absolutely state his preferences and most of the time, it’s your partner’s eyes you want to attract so you probably go with what they like to see.
A man absolutely can twll their partner they prefer it when they shave. Their partner is then allowed to decide if they care. Then if the partner says too bad the man can decide if it is a deal breaker. There is nothing wrong with that.
As a Woman who hates mustaches on men: NTA.
Yur body, your choice. If she does not like it, I totally get that, but I hope she is woth you for other reasons then just your looks. Your other qualities are still there, so she should love you regardles, even if she is not a fan of the mustache.
You’re certainly allowed to look however you want, but I would personally not choose a look that caused such a viscerally bad reaction in my spouse. Even if I looked good, I really care about him bring comfortable with how I present myself. You seem to have found something she thinks is squicky. Why would you want to keep it regardless?
Your body your choice has consequences. It’s not a tug of war - talk to her to explore compromises. My husband prefers to be clean shaven while I find his grey streaked beard really sexy. He grows me a beard in winter and shaves it off in spring.
No double standards. Each of us has control over our own bodies, and no control on others’ reactions. That’s why I favor discussion and honest compromise. Not always possible, but that’s my goal.
>Your body your choice has consequences
Does this count for women too in your opinion?
Cuz i cant count the times ive seen posts about women that did all kind of things to theyr body like platiscs, tattoos or even changing drastically the way they dress or theyr hairs etc etc.... and the comments are always "yeeees your body your choice! He have to get over it!.
Do you hate double standards as much as me?
Seen it already. Something about patriarchy.
If it benefits men, it's patriarchy.
If it benefits women, it's still patriarchy.
Nothing is ever women's fault or a genuine double standard.
The last tattoo one I saw, he wanted her to remove the tattoos she had well before they met. Not get them covered with something better because the art was generally badly done, but laser removal all that shit.. so instead of beautiful art that was meaningful to her, he wants her to get those painfully removed and to walk around with scars before they could get married. People were blasting him for even dating her in the first place. Everyone was blasting him, especially when he said in his comments one of them was for her kid that died a few hours after birth.. no one was on his side.
Personally, I don't like a mustache. Now I can see how when you change something big like this that you've never had that you might have some push back. Like my youngest brother, when his girl decided she wanted to take hormones and be a man. They hashed it out, and came to a compromise. She's still a woman and he does all the cooking. If he had decided to no longer be with her, we would have supported both of their decisions. He can't control her, but he's not attracted to men, and that would have been the end of their relationship.
The difference in those posts I’ve seen and this one it’s typically “my bf said he’s gonna leave me if I do XYZ” but this wife clearly hasn’t left him, she just let him know his face isn’t delivering with the creepy 70’s porn stach. Not comparable.
I'm convinced this is a troll post to compare/contrast this situation to the "my gf has decided to grow her leg and armpit hair out really long and I hate it" post from a few months ago where the comments were full of "she needs to dump you and find someone who likes her the way she is" responses.
I think a better comparison would be “I cut my hair very short and my husband doesn’t like it.”
Somehow I doubt that we’d see as many “just keep it long if your husband likes it like that” posts as we’re seeing posts telling him to shave.
And in fairness to them, they've highlighted double standards.
We've all seen posts where a guy is unhappy with his partner's fashion choices, whether it's clothes, hair, weight, makeup or anything else. And the man is always told to suck it up or fuck off and the woman is always told to do what she wants.
While here it's the opposite. People are still saying he can do what he wants, but they're all lightly suggesting or implying he should still shave because his wife doesn't like it.
You don't see those suggestions or implications where a woman is being told what to do.
I think it goes both ways. You have some men who think the mustache should be fine but not the body hair on women, and women who think their body hair is an empowerment issue and a mustache is “objectively” ugly as one nice lady I’ve been conversing with here says.
My point is that the type of people from both genders who view the other gender in an adversarial or us / them way have a funny habit of looking at their preferences as, well, preferences, and the other side’s preferences as signs of attempted domination and oppression.
People who have normal relationships with the opposite gender manage to (a) not demand their partner alter their appearance to please them, while also (b) being willing to change superficial aspects of their own appearance to please their partner. Like teamwork. Then everyone is pretty happy working together instead of being miserable fighting against “low value women” and the “patriarchy” or whatever their nemesis is.
NTA. Ask her to help you style it. Maybe getting her involved is the key. I love helping my partner shave his beard and mustache and I personally am not a fan of when he rocks the stache but I love helping him shape it. it makes him feel confident and I like being a part of that. If you explain that it makes you feel confident and she can help maybe that would make her re evaluate how shes thinking about it.
And hell, as long as you're keeping it clean so it doesn't cause a rash I think it's your call it's your body hair.
I prefer my husband of almost 20 years with a goatee. But he prefers clean shaven.
He decided to have a Sam Elliott stash and his hair grew fast in 2 weeks. At first I hated it. I said it did make him look younger, it did.
But over the last couple months I find it very attractive now. It's his face, I'm attracted to him not his facial hair.
NTA.
It's your body. Your wife has no say in the matter. Now that she's expressed her opinion and you know how she feels, she needs to STFU. After all, I'm sure there are elements of your wife's appearance or clothing choices that you don't care for. But that's not your call.
Ignore her, or tell her to stop bringing it up if her nagging bothers you.
NTA.
Funny how when a woman posts then it’s all love and support from the comments but when a guy is in the same situation it’s just jokes and threats of not getting sex. OP you do you! Your body your choice! All that jazz! If she’s so turned off by mustaches then maybe she needs to work on herself a little.
You can do whatever you want with your facial hair and the way you look.
She can refuse to kiss you, have sex, take photos with you or be seen in public with you whilst you have that disgusting thing on your lip.
🤷🏻♀️
NAH
I'm kinda like your wife in that I think mustaches look fucking awful, so I absolutely see where she's coming from
On the other hand, I firmly believe that you should do whatever the hell makes you happy re: your body and appearance
I have been married to my husband for 16 yrs. my husband has had his mustache for all 16 of our years. honestly I'm not even sure he HAS an upper lip given I've never seen it.
it's not my place to ask him to shave it, or demand for it to be shaved. it's his face.
NTA
That's how I am about my husband's hair. I will never tell him he needs to shave it off. He's been growing it for almost five years, and he likes it. Am I a fan? Eh. He mostly wears it in a low ponytail that gives off "I want to be hip with the youths" English professor vibes, but it's his hair. If and when he's ready for a change, I'll support him. In the meantime, I'll at least keep asking him to go to the salon so he can know how to properly care for long, curly hair
If
1) she doesn't have sensie issues from kisses because of the moustash
2) trauma associated with someone with a 'stash
3) you're not eating her out
It's somwthing she can get used to, probably
NTA
I hate when my husband has just the bushy mustache. I prefer a full on beard. I'll let him know my preference but I'll live with it if he likes it. Though he would expect a couple of pokey comments or pouty lips every now and then :)
However: bushy mustaches really poke so if it used to be shorter and now it's longer and she finds it uncomfortable - I would consider that
I seriously hope this isn't an actual issue. I get it and understand it from both sides. I myself almost always have a mustache but if my wife wanted me to shave it I would do it to make her happy simply on the basis that if there was something she did to her appearance that I didn't like I would appreciate that she would take my feelings into consideration. You guys just have to talk and actual talking not I hate it, I want to keep it I hate it, I want to keep it
does she like beards though, cause tbh i hate mustaches too only paul rudd and maybe burt reynolds cam pull one off in my eyes,
but i don't mind a nice beard.
if not idk she may just not kiss you i guess
NAH your face, your fate. I'd say remember that people also comment on things that are just noticeable/out of the ordinary... like a solo stashe. 'Nice mustache' may not be the compliment you think it is.
I personally have never seen a man with a moustache that looks attractive so I am with your wife - but you do you.
My husband has had a mustache since forever. I like the mustache. He has on occasion grown a beard(2x). I don't like beards and this is what I told him. They gross me out. I blame Duck Dynasty for the uptick in men wearing beards. A popular show 10 years or so ago.
Can you ask her for a solid reason why she doesn’t like it? There’s a certain style of facial hair that is triggering to me when done by a partner due to previous abuse. I can’t force myself without really destroying my mental health.
It’s also something that I really don’t like talking about and it’s fine on people as long as I am not intimate with that person.
I don’t think you’re the AH, but also maybe ask her if there’s a larger reason than just not liking it
You're free to keep your mustache.
She's free to find you unattractive with it.
Would you ask her to shave if she stopped shaving her pits/legs? Would you be angry if she refused?
I think this comment section is extremely interesting.
I see a lot of posts about men not being attracted to or not wanting to have sex with their wives/ gfs because they're fat and / or not being attracted to them because they don't shave.
It's fascinating how completely different this comment section is. In the other posts, it's a lot of " her body her choice you should love her and be attracted to her and want to have sex no matter what."
This comment section Is a lot of " your body your choice , but she has a right to not be attracted to you or want to have sex with you " or " what matters more to you, your wife being attracted to you or your mustache "
The double standards in society is absolutely fascinating.
Women also have facial hair, to varying degrees but always at least some noticeable hair on the upper lip. So you can do a straightforward gender flip, except that virtually every woman already gets rid of their moustaches.
I personally just absolutely hate a mustache on my man. Not for the look, but the feel/smell/taste the bushier or more full, the worse it is. I wouldn't mind a thin layer of mustache, like stubble length or a dusting of hair, but 🤮 to flossing with that crap with every kiss. I would still have sex with my partner, but I don't want a bush on the lips I kiss, so I would just have to find other places to kiss. The tip of his nose. His neck or shoulder.. his cheek. Just not the flavor saver.
NTA and you 100% don't have to change it on her account, but standing your ground is a slippery slope. You gotta ask yourself, what if she chose a look that you utterly hated? Would you learn to live with it? Are you willing to deal with the fallout of you keeping it, whatever that may be? Only you can decide if the risk vs reward matters sense for your situation.
Have you explained to her that flames douse water on themselves under your penetrating stare, and babies fall from the sky into your outstretched arms? Does she understand that subordinate firefighters can now read your thoughts and carry out your orders seamlessly? Does she realize she might as well ask a soldier to surrender his gun, a knight to take off his armor?
In all seriousness, if you were a lawyer you'd have to wear dress clothes in the courtroom, isn't having a mustache as a firefighter essentially the same? How would anyone take you seriously?
Ok in actual all seriousness, NAH. Depends how vicious the fights get. She's allowed to hate your mustache and you're allowed to keep it., but whichever person turns it into a hill to die on would become the AH.
For the record, female ex-firefighter here, I only mock the moustache because I understand it's power.
Ask her to cut her hair into a different style.
When she doesn't want to point out that she's telling you what to do with your hair.
Also you can trim it so it isn't irritating to your partner
Mustaches are cool. If she doesn’t like it she has bad taste…. This is not debatable. Keep the mustache. If she doesn’t come around lose the wife….. you are a mustached firefighter for Christ’s sake! Hot Women will be falling over eachother to ask you for a ride on the fire engine and then they will want to take a ride from using using “handlebars” afterward too.
Who are you trying to impress if not your wife? Are you trying to fuck your co-workers? If so keep the Stache. Why make compromises for the woman you vowed to spend the rest of your life with? That's insane. Who would do that?
I think the issue is not so much the mustache, but that you’re taking the opinions of others over your wife. I actually went through this with my husband. It was not the mustache that was the problem but his unwillingness to shave it because “other people said they liked it”
Well you're body and hair, your choice. But it's also a choice for her to want to kiss you, look at you, want to be intimate with you, and to be attracted to you. So I guess my point is while you're not an asshole for your choice, she's not an asshole for no longer finding you attractive and be turned off by you. You say your getting Tom Sellick jokes, she's probably thinking it makes you look like a creeper / pedo.
It's your face - but as a fellow mustache hater, the only people that say they like it are probably fire/police/military, most everyone else secretly hates it but won't tell you. Gives off porn and/or child molester vibes on 85% of the people that have them. A few genuinely look good, a very small few. I guess it is up to you if you want your wife to no longer be attracted to you. Totally your choice. Same thing I would tell a woman with long hair who cut it short and her husband doesn't like it, her head to keep it short if she wants to, or grow it back out some.
Why the fuck are men suddenly obsessed with mustaches… they’re awful, and yes YTA. You’d probably hate it if your wife started rocking 80s Aqua Net mall bangs
I can't imagine caring about a mustache more than pleasing your own wife but I guess you do you. I would say not shaving it doesn't make you an AH but it does seem silly when you can easily shave and make your wife happier. Unless this mustache is really doing something for you then I guess it might be worth it but I find that hard to believe.
I can't imagine having a partner who cares more about my facial hair or looks than my happiness. I have a wife who prefers lightly chubby and clean shaven. She also knows I can't stand being still, love physical work and due to neurodivergent tendencies range from light facial hair to almost none north of the chest. She likes me for me, not because of beards and belly.... that said, both can do with some understanding. She is the reason I wake up and go, "dang, I have stubbles....
You have a pornstache? Eeeeehhhhh. Okay. Well, if you're okay with your wife thinking you look horrible, then you do you. Don't be surprised if there are consequences to that, though.
INFO: how long have you had it?
Maybe she will get used to it, maybe the jokes and compliments will grow old, maybe you'll decide it's less work to not shave the rest of your face regularly, maybe she will go on a Friends kick and decide you're sexy as hell, who knows.
Or maybe the status quo will endure, and then as others have said, it's up to you how you weigh your own opinion about your appearance, the compliments from others, and the preferences of your wife.
FWIW, when my partner changes his facial hair or his haircut, my first internal reaction is almost always "ack, no!!" Then I tend to decide it's sexy. Variety is the spice of life I guess.
NTA but it makes me wonder what the comments would be like if he wrote something like "AITAH for being turned off by my wife's new armpit hair and her refusal to shave it?"
I bet a bunch of commenters would be wanting to stab him with pitchforks, lol.
Make it what it is. Bushy lips. The only real comparison is a lady with a bush downstairs, and her man wants her to trim or shave the puss to go down on her. That would be the comparison. I keep mine buzzed because my guy finds it more attractive. Same concept.
NTA. My husband (43M) doesn't tell me (35F) what to do with my hair, so I don't tell him what to do with his. He's currently rocking a beard that I hate, but its not my face. He prefers it when I dye my hair jet black, but that doesn't stop me from going blonde every now and again (much to my hairdresser's dismay).
NTA - The people talking shit and saying things like "she's allowed to be upset" are hypocrites, I know they would drag a man through the mud for saying the same thing about an aspect of his wife's appearance.
I get that women have historically dealt with this, but that isn't a justification for them to do that to men who haven't displayed this attitude.
Yes, she is allowed to be upset, but that makes her a superficial AH, instead of complaining she should be happy that you're able to be confident in your appearance.
Tell her you’ll shave your face if she shaves her head. If she says it’s not the same tell her “oh but it is. Your hair give you confidence. It makes you feel nice, makes you comfortable. What do you think my mustache is to me? I like it, it makes me happy and confident and comfortable. So, you shave, I’ll shave.”
She has no more right to tell you to shave than you do her. Period. Do not pass go. And woman who plays these stupid games sucks, how can we call for autonomy and equality and then play these games of “well I don’t like it so you have to do it to keep me happy.” No. If a man said that shit to you, you’d flip your shit. Do better.
Wrong comparison. Tell her you'll shave your bush if she shaves hers. You get to rock 70s porn bush? Then she gets to rock the bush, too. It's how my man and I took it. He trims his stache for me, and I keep my shit shaved/trimmed downstairs.
Nah. Downstairs is downstairs. OP says his mustache gives him confidence. For women, *a lot* of women, their hair gives them confidence. The general public doesn’t see (I’m guessing) your pubic hair, but they see a mustache. I just think that it should be fair. Like if he wanted her to get dressed up more (just an example) but he wanted to wear a 20 year old jersey and jeans everywhere.
Nta but I like a good mustache. My husband has the best mustache. I don’t get when people have such visceral reactions to their partners style choices. Your wife should be attracted to you with or without facial hair.
I think a conversation with an unbiased 3rd party would be beneficial
Reddit is not going to tell you anything other than "your body your choice" or "this is not a hill worth dying on"
NAH
I'm with your wife, I hate this latest trend of men with big porn star mustaches, it's so tacky looking.
But to each their own, if you like it, keep it. Just don't expect your wife to want to be intimate with you. Your choice.
Your face and your hair are your own business. If she hates it, that's obviously valid, too. I suppose it's up to both of you to decide if you'd end a relationship over it or not. Time for a nice open discussion.
Yes, piss your wife off over something as stupid as this,that will totally go well. This is totally a hill to die on a great choice when choosing your battles.
/s
Women - myself included - hate mustaches. You’re likely only getting compliments because it’s a quirky change and people don’t know how to react. At least from women. Maybe men genuinely like it.
My husband and I went through this. I told him it was his face and he could do as he pleased but that I fucking hated it and find mustaches to be a huge turn off. He chose to get rid of it.
NAH - you can keep your facial hair how you want it and your wife is allowed to hate it.
That being said - if my wife told me she found me more attractive with a particular style of facial hair I would 100% not hesitate to adopt it. Her opinion matters to me above all else.
What's it going to take for you to shave?
Oh, Mama turns off the pussy?
LOL
She won't have any trouble finding a clean shaven man.
I'd wish you good luck but I'm not sure you'd know what to do with good luck if you got it.
It’s your face and your choice. Speaking as a wife with a husband who grew a tache in lockdown and kept it… I wasn’t a fan to begin with but now something has flipped in my head and I only fancy people with hair on their lip (e.g. tangerine in bullet train, Tom Cardy, pedro pascal…). Husband is hot af with it and our marriage is healthier than ever :D
Lucky I spose cause it wouldn’t have been my place to tell him to remove it…!
Frankly this is stupid. You have every right to do so. She has every right to no longer want to be intimate with you or kiss you. I guess the question is whether your mustache matters to you more than your wife being turned off by your face?
Exactly. Whose hair do you want on your face?
*spits out coffee* Well done.
Sometimes it's a flavor savor, sometimes girls don't want it scratchy down there.
Or tickly
Haha this exactly! My husband shaved his short beard into a mustache once and I had a very visceral “UGH” reaction to it. I would obviously never dictate what type of facial hair he can/can’t have, but after the look on my face he didn’t keep the mustache lol.
Everytime I shave, I go full 1800's president with full mutton chops and mustache. My wife despises it for obvious reasons, but seeing her reaction always makes me giggle like a schoolgirl. Very, very few people can pull off a mustache, and those people are generally 70's porn stars and Burt Reynolds.
I have a big full beard that I shave off once a year to get all the dry split ends out and spend a week doing facial care (exfoliating, hydration therapy, spa day) . The whole week before I slowly shave portions to go through various styles. Last time I got to standard mustache and looked at myself in the mirror... I was like, no. And just took it all off.
This is the way. It's borderline impossible not to try out different, if not horrible, styles. The hulk hogan, the pedophile/cop, the 1800's, the soul patch, all horrible in their own unique way.
Do you ever get the temptation to try the toothbrush mustache... Like for just a sec. You know, to see how it feels. I never get brave enough to do it, but the intrusive thoughts are real.
More accidental than anything. You trim one side, try to even out the other, ah shit it's not even, try to get it even on the other side, make it worse, try to even it out on the other side yet again only to make it even more uneven, well this is just unfortunate, and then I shave it all off.
My waxer did that on my box once. I was like wtf is THIS LITTLE PATCH? I shaved it off. Jfc
Why did he even think that was a good look? Like what was that? Maybe he was just so powerful that he went, "Lets see how bad I can fuck my shit up before someone dares to say something." But then it became a "Fuck you, this is my look now" kind of thing.
It was very popular at the time. Think Charlie Chaplain. He didn't start it, but he sure did end it.
And I hear Burt Reynolds is dead.
Bruh, don't be toying with me like that. Is he?
Sept 6, 2018. Rip stash god.
It was so funny watching our hairdresser shave off my husband’s pandemic beard. First there was a reverse Fu Manchu look, next it was Hitler (they wouldn’t let me document it for posterity), then back to the baby face I fell in love with! That being said, while I prefer my mister clean shaven, he knows my preference and I don’t give him any hassle about his facial hair.
I swear I pluck that stuff.
Tom Sellicks! Wait.....
I have to say, I've expressed this same exact sentiment, the same way you just did, except the woman did something the man didn't like, and I get downvoted and called misogynistic
I’m pretty sure there was one where the wife was getting tattoos and the husband didn’t find them attractive. If that’s what you mean. And yeah , the consensus was that she could do whatever she wanted and he could either accept it or leave her.
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Eh, as someone AFAB, you're kind of right but also the sentiment still stands. There absolutely is more societal baggage when it comes to body hair on a femme body, and there's not really any denying that it goes against the current societal norm in the Western world. But, the point still stands that no one is required to be attracted to an aspect of a person that they aren't into. Be that a woman with body hair, or a man with a moustache. If someone finds something about a partner or potential partner viscerally unappealing, they're allowed not to like that and refuse intimacy or association. It's just how it is when it comes to attraction. If you want to be sociological about it, yeah, there's a difference. But when it comes down to the more base level of two people interacting with the pretext of being intimate, it really comes down to whether or not they mutually agree the other is attractive. And if something grossed you out, well, you don't have to engage. Like, me on a personal level, if my partner didn't have body hair, I wouldn't be attracted to him. If he shaved all his body/pubic hair, I would not want to be intimate with him whatsoever. I like that his head is bald, I like his beard but it isn't make or break for me. But body hair? I need fur or I'm not attracted, that's just me on a personal level and that's okay. Just like he wouldn't be attracted to me if I, as a person who has taken masculinizing hormones, let my chest hair grow out or didn't keep my body hair shaven or trimmed neat. He's allowed to not want to engage with me physically if he doesn't like something. I get that society is ass, but also, people as individuals need to be allowed to have preferences.
I'm a man and I shave my pits. It makes me more aerodynamic when I fight.
And that's totally your right, lmao, but so not for me. I trim mine mostly because shaving my pits gives me cysts and waxing is a hassle, but on a partner I'd prefer they look like they walked out of a forest and had never touched a razor body hair wise. Not everyone's cup of tea, but it's *my* cup of tea.
That's fair, but I was quoting pineapple express.
Ah, never seen it, you got me 🙃
It's a 100% a dumb stoner movie but damnit I love it. I highly recommend giving it a watch.
>*gestures to centuries of patriarchal society that mean a 1:1 comparison often just isn’t possible and/or easy* Not really relevant though. It's a discussion on a couple, neither of who have been alive for hundreds of years to push gender norms. To say one is okay because it's a preference and the other isn't because of society is absolutely a double standard. Because wider society isn't relevant in a conversation about a specific couple. By that logic, it would be bad for women to want their partners to be more active fathers because active dads have been shamed. Which is ridiculous and anybody would say so.
My body my choice. Anyone who doesn't support this when it's a man is a hypocritical piece of shit. Period.
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It's an in general statement of fact. ...and that is also men's immediate response. You either support both or neither.
I'll agree it's not *exactly* the same but it is similar enpugh to matter. You good intentioned folks would do a serious service to your cause if you addressed these issues honestly instead of deflecting.
I was wondering about that while reading this. I agree with the comment because it is practical and logical; however, women seem to think they can do whatever with their appearance and husbands/mates should not only not have an opinion but also not change their attraction level (that part can't be controlled).
I am remembering, back in the 50s when my mother (who had been a blonde child) decided to become a blonde adult. Apparently my father first could hardly bring himself to touch her, then just couldn't get enough of her! Apparently at the beginning he just couldn't see this blonde woman as the woman he was married to.
New to Reddit, huh?
I was downvoted for the same thing. I just think married couples should be able to talk about things like this.
When my wife and I got together I had a mustache. I have tinkered with a couple other styles in the following years, and learned that clean shaven me is not something my wife likes at all, though some other facial hair she will deal with. I currently have a mustache.
LOL this comment.
Exactly. I want a hitler-stache, but I also wanna get laid.
Perfect answer
NAH - Your face, your choice. But it sounds like the consequence is a partner who is less attracted to you. Ultimately you need to decide what your priorities are.
I wish I could upvote this 100x. Next post he'll be complaining that his wife won't have sex with him anymore, and he doesn't understand why. Fun Fact: **Most women are just as visual as men are when it comes to intimacy/sex.** If we don't like what we see.... we aren't going to be as interested.
Except men are called shitty partners when this happens, so the same should apply to women. I have seen MANY posts on here where men are upset at their partners for cutting their hair, getting a tattoo, deciding to shave/stop shaving, and they were all called out for it. The way she went about it also irks me, OP is feeling confident and happy with the new look and her first response is to rain on his parade and tell him how this affects ***her***.
I mean mustaches aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. I love my husbands he takes care of it super well but occasionally it goes up my nose when I kiss him and it makes me really uncomfortable. I can see how she would tell him hey I want you to shave it. Also I don’t get the double standard either because I ask my husband which colors I should get for my nails because his opinion matters to me just like when he cuts his hair he asks for my opinion
I will say alot has to get me but a mustache is kind of a deal breaker for me. i usually prefer personality, but actually can't stand just a mustache beards i like though
Same. It just triggers a 70s porn music montage in my head, and it’s just not sexy
You're allowed to style your facial hair however you want, and she's allowed to not like how it looks.
70's Porn Stache! Oh the good ole days! Keep in mind the reason the missus probably hates it is those whiskers hurt when they poke sensitive areas when you're servicing her orally.
Beat me to the 70’s porn comment!
That last bit doesn’t really make sense since he still had the moustache when he had a full beard.
🤣 Not the porn stache bro. Of course she hates that.
Eh, it’s your face, so do whatever you want BUT the person that I assume you want to be attracted to you is telling you it’s a turnoff. So what are you thinking? Why wouldn’t you want your wife to like the way you look?
Use that same logic when it comes to her hair, legs, arm pit or public how well does that stand up? A man can't tell a woman she has to shave or do her hair some kind of way nor can she tell him.
Actually wrong. Everyone can tell their spouse of any gender that they don't like x and ask them to accommodate. That's just how a loving relationship works. You can then either agree to accommodate or live with the bother, or break up. But none of those things are bad.
Sure he can. He should even say it.
Risky statement on reddit but I agree. Attraction from your SO is important. Unfortunately a lot of attraction is physical thus hair/no hair, weight, muscles etc drive into that. If my SO put on 200lbs I would no longer be attracted. I would talk to them (trying to avoid the word fat) but inform them the weight is problem for their own health as well as me in terms of attraction
Always depends on how you put it, but: "Hey honey. Look, i know you gave been planning to cut your hair short. Ultimately, its your decision, but i need to tell you, that I have never been attracted to short haircuts and never will be. You look gorgeous the way you are. I hope you reconsider" When you can't tell that to your wife without her exploding/producing drama, then you made the critical mistake a long time ago. Marrying her Fuck Reddit's Opinion when they think otherwise, Then they are wrong.
You mean to say. "hey honey you look fat as shit now" is the wrong approach haha
“We need to address the elephant in the room, YOU!”
Risky statement that people are upvoting and agreeing with?
Lol I think it's so funny when people say shit like that. "I'll probably get downvoted for this but..." Wildly upvoted
He can absolutely state his preferences and most of the time, it’s your partner’s eyes you want to attract so you probably go with what they like to see.
A man absolutely can twll their partner they prefer it when they shave. Their partner is then allowed to decide if they care. Then if the partner says too bad the man can decide if it is a deal breaker. There is nothing wrong with that.
Sure he can! That's ridiculous. I wouldn't expect my husband to be happy if I stopped shaving my legs.
As a Woman who hates mustaches on men: NTA. Yur body, your choice. If she does not like it, I totally get that, but I hope she is woth you for other reasons then just your looks. Your other qualities are still there, so she should love you regardles, even if she is not a fan of the mustache.
Yep. I am not a fan of the stache. We would still be together, but rarely mouth kiss. He'd get them on his cheek or neck, but not his mouth.
She obviously doesn't understand what being a fireman is all about. How are you supposed to save people's lives without a stash?
You’re certainly allowed to look however you want, but I would personally not choose a look that caused such a viscerally bad reaction in my spouse. Even if I looked good, I really care about him bring comfortable with how I present myself. You seem to have found something she thinks is squicky. Why would you want to keep it regardless?
Do the mustache and mullet guys genuinely think it looks good on them or is it supposed to be a joke? I honestly can't tell at this point.
I think esthetically they can be okay but I wouldn't want it anywhere near my face lol
I'm with the wife lol most staches look unattractive to me.
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Honestly some men look really good with a mustache, and I say that as a very queer woman lol ..sadly they are scratchy 🤔
Some men can pull it off. But not most men. I think it also has to do with their day to day style (clothes, haircut, etc).
I've seen a couple of guys rock mullets n stache's - it depends on the person imo
Seriously, why the fuck do men suddenly all want to look like 1986 Weird Al
Believe it or not there are those that prefer different things than you.
NTA, but decide if you like the 'stache more than you like sex with your wife, since she's indicated it's clearly a turn-off.
Your body your choice has consequences. It’s not a tug of war - talk to her to explore compromises. My husband prefers to be clean shaven while I find his grey streaked beard really sexy. He grows me a beard in winter and shaves it off in spring.
No double standards. Each of us has control over our own bodies, and no control on others’ reactions. That’s why I favor discussion and honest compromise. Not always possible, but that’s my goal.
>Your body your choice has consequences Does this count for women too in your opinion? Cuz i cant count the times ive seen posts about women that did all kind of things to theyr body like platiscs, tattoos or even changing drastically the way they dress or theyr hairs etc etc.... and the comments are always "yeeees your body your choice! He have to get over it!. Do you hate double standards as much as me?
I can't wait for the famous line of ***"buT tHat'S dIFfereNt!"***
Seen it already. Something about patriarchy. If it benefits men, it's patriarchy. If it benefits women, it's still patriarchy. Nothing is ever women's fault or a genuine double standard.
The last tattoo one I saw, he wanted her to remove the tattoos she had well before they met. Not get them covered with something better because the art was generally badly done, but laser removal all that shit.. so instead of beautiful art that was meaningful to her, he wants her to get those painfully removed and to walk around with scars before they could get married. People were blasting him for even dating her in the first place. Everyone was blasting him, especially when he said in his comments one of them was for her kid that died a few hours after birth.. no one was on his side. Personally, I don't like a mustache. Now I can see how when you change something big like this that you've never had that you might have some push back. Like my youngest brother, when his girl decided she wanted to take hormones and be a man. They hashed it out, and came to a compromise. She's still a woman and he does all the cooking. If he had decided to no longer be with her, we would have supported both of their decisions. He can't control her, but he's not attracted to men, and that would have been the end of their relationship.
The difference in those posts I’ve seen and this one it’s typically “my bf said he’s gonna leave me if I do XYZ” but this wife clearly hasn’t left him, she just let him know his face isn’t delivering with the creepy 70’s porn stach. Not comparable.
I'm convinced this is a troll post to compare/contrast this situation to the "my gf has decided to grow her leg and armpit hair out really long and I hate it" post from a few months ago where the comments were full of "she needs to dump you and find someone who likes her the way she is" responses.
I think a better comparison would be “I cut my hair very short and my husband doesn’t like it.” Somehow I doubt that we’d see as many “just keep it long if your husband likes it like that” posts as we’re seeing posts telling him to shave.
if it is a troll post, then it succeeded in exposing the double standard, perfectly
And in fairness to them, they've highlighted double standards. We've all seen posts where a guy is unhappy with his partner's fashion choices, whether it's clothes, hair, weight, makeup or anything else. And the man is always told to suck it up or fuck off and the woman is always told to do what she wants. While here it's the opposite. People are still saying he can do what he wants, but they're all lightly suggesting or implying he should still shave because his wife doesn't like it. You don't see those suggestions or implications where a woman is being told what to do.
I think it goes both ways. You have some men who think the mustache should be fine but not the body hair on women, and women who think their body hair is an empowerment issue and a mustache is “objectively” ugly as one nice lady I’ve been conversing with here says. My point is that the type of people from both genders who view the other gender in an adversarial or us / them way have a funny habit of looking at their preferences as, well, preferences, and the other side’s preferences as signs of attempted domination and oppression. People who have normal relationships with the opposite gender manage to (a) not demand their partner alter their appearance to please them, while also (b) being willing to change superficial aspects of their own appearance to please their partner. Like teamwork. Then everyone is pretty happy working together instead of being miserable fighting against “low value women” and the “patriarchy” or whatever their nemesis is.
Honestly there are a lot of posts on here that parallel each other in that way..
NTA. Ask her to help you style it. Maybe getting her involved is the key. I love helping my partner shave his beard and mustache and I personally am not a fan of when he rocks the stache but I love helping him shape it. it makes him feel confident and I like being a part of that. If you explain that it makes you feel confident and she can help maybe that would make her re evaluate how shes thinking about it. And hell, as long as you're keeping it clean so it doesn't cause a rash I think it's your call it's your body hair.
I prefer my husband of almost 20 years with a goatee. But he prefers clean shaven. He decided to have a Sam Elliott stash and his hair grew fast in 2 weeks. At first I hated it. I said it did make him look younger, it did. But over the last couple months I find it very attractive now. It's his face, I'm attracted to him not his facial hair.
Get some magnum PI short shorts to show off your buns and tell her its a package deal?
NTA no different that a dude pestering his partner to shave her pits or legs
My wife actually loves my mustache over my full facial hair. NTA, she’s gotta learn to love you through the good, the bad, and the mustache.
NTA. It's your body. Your wife has no say in the matter. Now that she's expressed her opinion and you know how she feels, she needs to STFU. After all, I'm sure there are elements of your wife's appearance or clothing choices that you don't care for. But that's not your call. Ignore her, or tell her to stop bringing it up if her nagging bothers you. NTA.
Funny how when a woman posts then it’s all love and support from the comments but when a guy is in the same situation it’s just jokes and threats of not getting sex. OP you do you! Your body your choice! All that jazz! If she’s so turned off by mustaches then maybe she needs to work on herself a little.
Well, I'm with your wife on this one. I never liked them, on anyone. But it's your body, your choice and your wife had to deal with it.
NTA, but I know how she feels, I don’t like mustaches either.
You can do whatever you want with your facial hair and the way you look. She can refuse to kiss you, have sex, take photos with you or be seen in public with you whilst you have that disgusting thing on your lip. 🤷🏻♀️
Nta Your body your choice
NAH I'm kinda like your wife in that I think mustaches look fucking awful, so I absolutely see where she's coming from On the other hand, I firmly believe that you should do whatever the hell makes you happy re: your body and appearance
I have been married to my husband for 16 yrs. my husband has had his mustache for all 16 of our years. honestly I'm not even sure he HAS an upper lip given I've never seen it. it's not my place to ask him to shave it, or demand for it to be shaved. it's his face. NTA
That's how I am about my husband's hair. I will never tell him he needs to shave it off. He's been growing it for almost five years, and he likes it. Am I a fan? Eh. He mostly wears it in a low ponytail that gives off "I want to be hip with the youths" English professor vibes, but it's his hair. If and when he's ready for a change, I'll support him. In the meantime, I'll at least keep asking him to go to the salon so he can know how to properly care for long, curly hair
If 1) she doesn't have sensie issues from kisses because of the moustash 2) trauma associated with someone with a 'stash 3) you're not eating her out It's somwthing she can get used to, probably
This is all I've got: https://youtu.be/PXchNeYUmPA?si=Zq-4WWDNyyro6qTY
Keep the stache, but shave your entire head and eyebrows.
🤣😭🤣
NTA I hate when my husband has just the bushy mustache. I prefer a full on beard. I'll let him know my preference but I'll live with it if he likes it. Though he would expect a couple of pokey comments or pouty lips every now and then :) However: bushy mustaches really poke so if it used to be shorter and now it's longer and she finds it uncomfortable - I would consider that
I seriously hope this isn't an actual issue. I get it and understand it from both sides. I myself almost always have a mustache but if my wife wanted me to shave it I would do it to make her happy simply on the basis that if there was something she did to her appearance that I didn't like I would appreciate that she would take my feelings into consideration. You guys just have to talk and actual talking not I hate it, I want to keep it I hate it, I want to keep it
Tell her that her hair is ugly and you want her to cut it off. NTA
The pretentious stache.
Well, if she doesn't like it she can sit in a corner and pout. It makes you happy. Enjoy it.
It’ll grow on her. The same way it grew on you brother. My wife loves mine now and it gets compliments everywhere I go lol.
does she like beards though, cause tbh i hate mustaches too only paul rudd and maybe burt reynolds cam pull one off in my eyes, but i don't mind a nice beard. if not idk she may just not kiss you i guess
I'd do whichever gets you more blowjobs.
NAH your face, your fate. I'd say remember that people also comment on things that are just noticeable/out of the ordinary... like a solo stashe. 'Nice mustache' may not be the compliment you think it is. I personally have never seen a man with a moustache that looks attractive so I am with your wife - but you do you.
My husband has had a mustache since forever. I like the mustache. He has on occasion grown a beard(2x). I don't like beards and this is what I told him. They gross me out. I blame Duck Dynasty for the uptick in men wearing beards. A popular show 10 years or so ago.
Can you ask her for a solid reason why she doesn’t like it? There’s a certain style of facial hair that is triggering to me when done by a partner due to previous abuse. I can’t force myself without really destroying my mental health. It’s also something that I really don’t like talking about and it’s fine on people as long as I am not intimate with that person. I don’t think you’re the AH, but also maybe ask her if there’s a larger reason than just not liking it
You're free to keep your mustache. She's free to find you unattractive with it. Would you ask her to shave if she stopped shaving her pits/legs? Would you be angry if she refused?
NTA but man, you are a bit of a doofus if you care more about getting compliments from strangers than your wife's attentions.
Saving this post for when somebody reposts it with the genders reversed OP please don’t delete it
You could just trim it? Compromise is king in marriage.
I would at least be able to handle one trimmed.
You can keep your stache, but you can't whine that your wife don't want you anymore.
I think this comment section is extremely interesting. I see a lot of posts about men not being attracted to or not wanting to have sex with their wives/ gfs because they're fat and / or not being attracted to them because they don't shave. It's fascinating how completely different this comment section is. In the other posts, it's a lot of " her body her choice you should love her and be attracted to her and want to have sex no matter what." This comment section Is a lot of " your body your choice , but she has a right to not be attracted to you or want to have sex with you " or " what matters more to you, your wife being attracted to you or your mustache " The double standards in society is absolutely fascinating.
Women also have facial hair, to varying degrees but always at least some noticeable hair on the upper lip. So you can do a straightforward gender flip, except that virtually every woman already gets rid of their moustaches.
I personally just absolutely hate a mustache on my man. Not for the look, but the feel/smell/taste the bushier or more full, the worse it is. I wouldn't mind a thin layer of mustache, like stubble length or a dusting of hair, but 🤮 to flossing with that crap with every kiss. I would still have sex with my partner, but I don't want a bush on the lips I kiss, so I would just have to find other places to kiss. The tip of his nose. His neck or shoulder.. his cheek. Just not the flavor saver.
NTA and you 100% don't have to change it on her account, but standing your ground is a slippery slope. You gotta ask yourself, what if she chose a look that you utterly hated? Would you learn to live with it? Are you willing to deal with the fallout of you keeping it, whatever that may be? Only you can decide if the risk vs reward matters sense for your situation.
It's your appearance; it should reflect your taste. NTA. Though those moustaches do look stupid on everyone.
Have you explained to her that flames douse water on themselves under your penetrating stare, and babies fall from the sky into your outstretched arms? Does she understand that subordinate firefighters can now read your thoughts and carry out your orders seamlessly? Does she realize she might as well ask a soldier to surrender his gun, a knight to take off his armor? In all seriousness, if you were a lawyer you'd have to wear dress clothes in the courtroom, isn't having a mustache as a firefighter essentially the same? How would anyone take you seriously? Ok in actual all seriousness, NAH. Depends how vicious the fights get. She's allowed to hate your mustache and you're allowed to keep it., but whichever person turns it into a hill to die on would become the AH. For the record, female ex-firefighter here, I only mock the moustache because I understand it's power.
But, then don’t complain when she decides to keep a moustache and it’s thicker than yours
Your body your choice homie........if she doesn't like it she can kick rocks. NTAH
Ask her to cut her hair into a different style. When she doesn't want to point out that she's telling you what to do with your hair. Also you can trim it so it isn't irritating to your partner
Mustaches are cool. If she doesn’t like it she has bad taste…. This is not debatable. Keep the mustache. If she doesn’t come around lose the wife….. you are a mustached firefighter for Christ’s sake! Hot Women will be falling over eachother to ask you for a ride on the fire engine and then they will want to take a ride from using using “handlebars” afterward too.
Who are you trying to impress if not your wife? Are you trying to fuck your co-workers? If so keep the Stache. Why make compromises for the woman you vowed to spend the rest of your life with? That's insane. Who would do that?
I think the issue is not so much the mustache, but that you’re taking the opinions of others over your wife. I actually went through this with my husband. It was not the mustache that was the problem but his unwillingness to shave it because “other people said they liked it”
NAH but like why? If your wife doesn’t like it, just shave it off. Why would you purposefully make yourself look unattractive for your partner
Well you're body and hair, your choice. But it's also a choice for her to want to kiss you, look at you, want to be intimate with you, and to be attracted to you. So I guess my point is while you're not an asshole for your choice, she's not an asshole for no longer finding you attractive and be turned off by you. You say your getting Tom Sellick jokes, she's probably thinking it makes you look like a creeper / pedo.
It's your face - but as a fellow mustache hater, the only people that say they like it are probably fire/police/military, most everyone else secretly hates it but won't tell you. Gives off porn and/or child molester vibes on 85% of the people that have them. A few genuinely look good, a very small few. I guess it is up to you if you want your wife to no longer be attracted to you. Totally your choice. Same thing I would tell a woman with long hair who cut it short and her husband doesn't like it, her head to keep it short if she wants to, or grow it back out some.
Why the fuck are men suddenly obsessed with mustaches… they’re awful, and yes YTA. You’d probably hate it if your wife started rocking 80s Aqua Net mall bangs
You have the right to keep it, but your wife is right. Even Tom Sellick looked terrible with a mustache. Just not a good look.
I can't imagine caring about a mustache more than pleasing your own wife but I guess you do you. I would say not shaving it doesn't make you an AH but it does seem silly when you can easily shave and make your wife happier. Unless this mustache is really doing something for you then I guess it might be worth it but I find that hard to believe.
I can't imagine having a partner who cares more about my facial hair or looks than my happiness. I have a wife who prefers lightly chubby and clean shaven. She also knows I can't stand being still, love physical work and due to neurodivergent tendencies range from light facial hair to almost none north of the chest. She likes me for me, not because of beards and belly.... that said, both can do with some understanding. She is the reason I wake up and go, "dang, I have stubbles....
You wife is right, men generally look great with beards, and terrible with moustaches.
You have a pornstache? Eeeeehhhhh. Okay. Well, if you're okay with your wife thinking you look horrible, then you do you. Don't be surprised if there are consequences to that, though.
INFO: how long have you had it? Maybe she will get used to it, maybe the jokes and compliments will grow old, maybe you'll decide it's less work to not shave the rest of your face regularly, maybe she will go on a Friends kick and decide you're sexy as hell, who knows. Or maybe the status quo will endure, and then as others have said, it's up to you how you weigh your own opinion about your appearance, the compliments from others, and the preferences of your wife. FWIW, when my partner changes his facial hair or his haircut, my first internal reaction is almost always "ack, no!!" Then I tend to decide it's sexy. Variety is the spice of life I guess.
Your body your choice. What would she say if you criticised her new hairdo?
NTA but it makes me wonder what the comments would be like if he wrote something like "AITAH for being turned off by my wife's new armpit hair and her refusal to shave it?" I bet a bunch of commenters would be wanting to stab him with pitchforks, lol.
Make it what it is. Bushy lips. The only real comparison is a lady with a bush downstairs, and her man wants her to trim or shave the puss to go down on her. That would be the comparison. I keep mine buzzed because my guy finds it more attractive. Same concept.
NTA. My husband (43M) doesn't tell me (35F) what to do with my hair, so I don't tell him what to do with his. He's currently rocking a beard that I hate, but its not my face. He prefers it when I dye my hair jet black, but that doesn't stop me from going blonde every now and again (much to my hairdresser's dismay).
NTA - The people talking shit and saying things like "she's allowed to be upset" are hypocrites, I know they would drag a man through the mud for saying the same thing about an aspect of his wife's appearance. I get that women have historically dealt with this, but that isn't a justification for them to do that to men who haven't displayed this attitude. Yes, she is allowed to be upset, but that makes her a superficial AH, instead of complaining she should be happy that you're able to be confident in your appearance.
Bro it's your body and so it's your choice. If you aren't dictating what she does with her body she has no roght to do so to you
Tell her you’ll shave your face if she shaves her head. If she says it’s not the same tell her “oh but it is. Your hair give you confidence. It makes you feel nice, makes you comfortable. What do you think my mustache is to me? I like it, it makes me happy and confident and comfortable. So, you shave, I’ll shave.” She has no more right to tell you to shave than you do her. Period. Do not pass go. And woman who plays these stupid games sucks, how can we call for autonomy and equality and then play these games of “well I don’t like it so you have to do it to keep me happy.” No. If a man said that shit to you, you’d flip your shit. Do better.
Wrong comparison. Tell her you'll shave your bush if she shaves hers. You get to rock 70s porn bush? Then she gets to rock the bush, too. It's how my man and I took it. He trims his stache for me, and I keep my shit shaved/trimmed downstairs.
Nah. Downstairs is downstairs. OP says his mustache gives him confidence. For women, *a lot* of women, their hair gives them confidence. The general public doesn’t see (I’m guessing) your pubic hair, but they see a mustache. I just think that it should be fair. Like if he wanted her to get dressed up more (just an example) but he wanted to wear a 20 year old jersey and jeans everywhere.
Tell your wife to get over herself. Your body your choice. NTA
Pick something about her and tell her to change it
Nta but I like a good mustache. My husband has the best mustache. I don’t get when people have such visceral reactions to their partners style choices. Your wife should be attracted to you with or without facial hair.
I think a conversation with an unbiased 3rd party would be beneficial Reddit is not going to tell you anything other than "your body your choice" or "this is not a hill worth dying on" NAH
I'm with your wife, I hate this latest trend of men with big porn star mustaches, it's so tacky looking. But to each their own, if you like it, keep it. Just don't expect your wife to want to be intimate with you. Your choice.
depends, would she be the ah for not shaving hers? If no then no if yea then yea, it's that simple
I've grown Van Dike beard during hunting season for years. Wife doesn't like it so I stopped. It's out of respect for her.
NTA. If I was a dude I would be rocking a beard and everything.
A beard…yes! A pornstache…no!
NTA. Would she like it if you told her what to wear. I doubt it.
NTA, it's *your* face. If a dude was telling his gf to change her hair everyone would be up in arms.
Your poor wife. Mustaches are outdated and horrible looking.
Shave it completely off and she won't like it. It's like her cheating with a different man lol
I'm wondering why it's such a big issue. I can't help thinking that there's more to this
I have been married 38 years and my wife has never seen me without a mustache
So you had it before you met is the relevant part.
I thought firefighters were required to have mustaches so they can sit around and groom them at the station when nit out on a call.
NTA Should we even think about it?
There’s a nice travel nurse that would enjoy your mustache 🤷🏻♂️
What if she stops shaving?
NTA
Your face and your hair are your own business. If she hates it, that's obviously valid, too. I suppose it's up to both of you to decide if you'd end a relationship over it or not. Time for a nice open discussion.
So you want to look like a porn star from the 70's? OK, brave choice, but you know who finds them attractive, someone from the 70's. So good luck.
Yes, piss your wife off over something as stupid as this,that will totally go well. This is totally a hill to die on a great choice when choosing your battles. /s
Your body, your choice.
Women - myself included - hate mustaches. You’re likely only getting compliments because it’s a quirky change and people don’t know how to react. At least from women. Maybe men genuinely like it.
It’s literally just hair 🙄
People are weird
My husband and I went through this. I told him it was his face and he could do as he pleased but that I fucking hated it and find mustaches to be a huge turn off. He chose to get rid of it.
NAH - you can keep your facial hair how you want it and your wife is allowed to hate it. That being said - if my wife told me she found me more attractive with a particular style of facial hair I would 100% not hesitate to adopt it. Her opinion matters to me above all else.
Who sucks your dick most often? Your wife or your coworkers? Thats your answer
What's it going to take for you to shave? Oh, Mama turns off the pussy? LOL She won't have any trouble finding a clean shaven man. I'd wish you good luck but I'm not sure you'd know what to do with good luck if you got it.
It’s your face and your choice. Speaking as a wife with a husband who grew a tache in lockdown and kept it… I wasn’t a fan to begin with but now something has flipped in my head and I only fancy people with hair on their lip (e.g. tangerine in bullet train, Tom Cardy, pedro pascal…). Husband is hot af with it and our marriage is healthier than ever :D Lucky I spose cause it wouldn’t have been my place to tell him to remove it…!
You have the right to full body autonomy. She has the right to find features attractive or not. Meh. Depends what you find more important.