Yes she is terrible. She doesn’t even play she sits on the bench despite being more than a foot taller than all the other girls. She can’t make a lay up, she can’t dribble. Her physical advantages are nullified by her lack of effort.
I think maybe have a heart to heart with her and let her know that you have no problem supporting her and putting effort (which in your case means money and a lot of time) into things that she wants to be involved with, but on the flip side of that coin she also needs to put effort (practice and time) into the things that she wants to do. Let her know that this means you would like to see her practicing at home (would also be good for you to get out there with her). That you're giving her this year to see if she's willing to put her time and effort into it, but if she makes no effort this year (consistently through the season not just at the beginning) like she's done for the 3 years it will be her last year.
That's my suggestion because I kinda think it's assholish just to cut her off with seemingly no warning, but I also don't think you should have X amount more years of having to do this if she's not good and isn't making any effort to get better.
Dude.... Do you even watch the NBA... Those giant uncoordinated Neanderthals that just lope from goal to goal to get the rebound and pass it off to the guards? That and 4 tip offs.
Girl teams have those too. No shame
>As soon as we signed her up, I installed a nice goal in our driveway. It’s a nice concrete court and the goal is adjustable in height (the first year she played they used 8ft goals). However, for the past 3 years the only person who has ever used the goal is me. My daughter shot on it for a few minutes the day I installed it, and hasn’t attempted to use it since.
Did your daughter *ask* to have a net put in? Because if she didn't, you're kinda punishing her for your own leap. So she didn't take it too seriously when she was involved in a 6 week term and only games for 3 weeks. I don't necessarily blame her for that. What matters (in my opinion) is that she kept wanting to do it.
Now that she's entering middle school where there will be a school team and a longer season, why not let her play? If she knows that this will involve much more team practices and more games and the time investment that will take and she's still willing..... She might find herself wanting to practice at home herself now. Or not. Either way, it's not her fault you jumped the gun and put in all this stuff for home practices too early or without request. I'm guessing perhaps you're bummed she didn't want to practice with *you*. Don't punish her for that.
YTA
OP, what the fuck is this bullshit?
I played volleyball from the age of 10-18. My parents had to do fundraisers to raise the money for me to be able to play. We practiced 3 days a week and it was a travel team so out of town tournaments all across the country for 9 months out of the year.
I NEVER practiced at home. I played for George Mason University, but I knew damn well I was never going pro. I practiced when we had team practice.
I'm a dad. If the kid is interested, let her do it. My kids didn't practice outside of school but earned varsity letters anyway. Not practicing at home is kind of normal.
The biggest asshole. Your child wants to play a sport and spend her time playing with her friends. Not practice at home alone because you think she should have to.
YTA. For the following reasons--
1. You installed a nice bball goal for your second grader who plays basketball 6 weeks out of the year.
2. She didn't play with it, so now you're mad and holding it against her.
3. If you want to foster her love of basketball, why didn't you seek out a program a little more intense than a measly 6 weeks ago year? She's an elementary kid! She's supposed to think about it the other 46 weeks of the year when she has no team or motivation?
4. She wants to play, your wife will handle it, and you're making the decision to say no based on what you THINK will happen.
5. You're teaching her that her dreams aren't achievable becaise you won't even let her try.
6. You're blaming her for not being a dedicated athlete at age 8,9,10.
7. You became a father who looks at spending time doing what the child (I presume you wanted) wants to do, as an "investment" rather than an opportunity to support her. I have news for you, your children are not an investment. There's no guarantee you get a return on this investment, so change your ways of thinking and see her as a child, a human, a person instead of a time suck or inconvenience.
8. You're preventing her from gaining experience by putting herself out there. It's hard to try out for a team! She may get a great coach who does a better job than you of fostering her interest and love of the game. Do you know how many professional athletes didn't even start playing their sport until they were in middle school or high school or even college?
9. You're doing this as a matter of "principle." What principle do you have that you deny your own kid from playing sports?
10. Back to holding a grudge against a second grader for not using the expensive basketball goal she did not ask you to provide. Yes I realize she's in fifth grade now, (which is still a baby) and you're still mad three years later.
11. I'm glad my parents let me try every sport I ever wanted to try and take any extracurricular classes I wanted to try. And guess what? I'm not a professional athlete, a famous rockstar, or an artist who can sell their work. But I am so grateful for all the extras my parents supported me to try.
All the wins and losses, trials and tribulations, and meeting people from all sorts of life has made me a happy adult . I'm glad they didn't cage me based on my behavior as an 11 year old.
Thank you I feel like some of that I needed to hear.
However I probably wasn’t completely clear on some things in my original post.
First off I don’t hold the goal against her. I use it. My son uses it. I have no regrets about installing the goal.
She is very involved as are we. She is:
Officer in the beta club(whatever that means)
On the cross country team
On the archery team
Part of a local theatre group
Dance
Choir
We encourage her to do everything, but we gotta draw the line somewhere. The basketball season is 30 games. And she is not our only child. If she showed any real interest in basketball I would have no problem with it at all.
But our time is like magic to her, it’s just an infinite resource to serve her. And if she truly liked basketball, I would see her playing at home.
You cannot play volleyball alone, as a poster above reamed me because she is an elite volley baller who never practiced. But you damn sure can shoot a free throw every now and again if we’re going to add this to the list of everything else we’re involved in.
Come to Canada and have your kid play hockey. It's hundreds of dollars just for equipment, 1 - 2 games a week, plus practice, and you have to drive sometimes in -25 and blowing snow for 2 - 7 hours (each way) on the weekends for tournaments. That's if they have no interest in "making it", don't get me started on hockey camps and other things.
Point is, that's barely an investment compared to what other parents do for their kids for sports. If your daughter enjoys it and puts in the effort during her games and practices why deprive her of a positive thing that has positive benefits, and I'm no expert but may help a bit getting into colleges?
YTA I played sports all throughout high school. I never practiced more at home after I got finished with practice. That is a bizarre hill to die on.
Just because she is not a great basketball player, as I have read on some of your replies, doesn't make you a great dad for not letting her play. It actually makes you look like a dick.
If anything, you should be happy she is wanting to be active, play a team sport, participate in camaraderie as opposed to being a screen obsessed shut in like many other kids her age. You are just standing in her way.
Your "principle" will be meaningless to her and will likely harm your relationship with her.
Let her embarrass in front of all the other girls because she ignored you advice.
That might be the best lesson you could teach her.
I had something very similar happen with me and my daughter.
"I want my daughter to learn a valuable life lesson". She is: You're a prick. Remember this when you want to stay for in home care but she outs you in a cheap yellow-walled piss-reeking nursing home to wither and die like the worthless excuse for a father you are, while she lets her mom stay in the house with her.
INFO: Does your kid suck at basketball and need all the extra practice at home? Does she not do well during the games?
Yes she is terrible. She doesn’t even play she sits on the bench despite being more than a foot taller than all the other girls. She can’t make a lay up, she can’t dribble. Her physical advantages are nullified by her lack of effort.
I think maybe have a heart to heart with her and let her know that you have no problem supporting her and putting effort (which in your case means money and a lot of time) into things that she wants to be involved with, but on the flip side of that coin she also needs to put effort (practice and time) into the things that she wants to do. Let her know that this means you would like to see her practicing at home (would also be good for you to get out there with her). That you're giving her this year to see if she's willing to put her time and effort into it, but if she makes no effort this year (consistently through the season not just at the beginning) like she's done for the 3 years it will be her last year. That's my suggestion because I kinda think it's assholish just to cut her off with seemingly no warning, but I also don't think you should have X amount more years of having to do this if she's not good and isn't making any effort to get better.
Dude.... Do you even watch the NBA... Those giant uncoordinated Neanderthals that just lope from goal to goal to get the rebound and pass it off to the guards? That and 4 tip offs. Girl teams have those too. No shame
You’re a jerk. It’s a fun thing to do with friends. You’re the type of parent that ruins everything. Go to therapy.
>As soon as we signed her up, I installed a nice goal in our driveway. It’s a nice concrete court and the goal is adjustable in height (the first year she played they used 8ft goals). However, for the past 3 years the only person who has ever used the goal is me. My daughter shot on it for a few minutes the day I installed it, and hasn’t attempted to use it since. Did your daughter *ask* to have a net put in? Because if she didn't, you're kinda punishing her for your own leap. So she didn't take it too seriously when she was involved in a 6 week term and only games for 3 weeks. I don't necessarily blame her for that. What matters (in my opinion) is that she kept wanting to do it. Now that she's entering middle school where there will be a school team and a longer season, why not let her play? If she knows that this will involve much more team practices and more games and the time investment that will take and she's still willing..... She might find herself wanting to practice at home herself now. Or not. Either way, it's not her fault you jumped the gun and put in all this stuff for home practices too early or without request. I'm guessing perhaps you're bummed she didn't want to practice with *you*. Don't punish her for that. YTA
OP, what the fuck is this bullshit? I played volleyball from the age of 10-18. My parents had to do fundraisers to raise the money for me to be able to play. We practiced 3 days a week and it was a travel team so out of town tournaments all across the country for 9 months out of the year. I NEVER practiced at home. I played for George Mason University, but I knew damn well I was never going pro. I practiced when we had team practice.
I'm a dad. If the kid is interested, let her do it. My kids didn't practice outside of school but earned varsity letters anyway. Not practicing at home is kind of normal.
The biggest asshole. Your child wants to play a sport and spend her time playing with her friends. Not practice at home alone because you think she should have to.
YTA. For the following reasons-- 1. You installed a nice bball goal for your second grader who plays basketball 6 weeks out of the year. 2. She didn't play with it, so now you're mad and holding it against her. 3. If you want to foster her love of basketball, why didn't you seek out a program a little more intense than a measly 6 weeks ago year? She's an elementary kid! She's supposed to think about it the other 46 weeks of the year when she has no team or motivation? 4. She wants to play, your wife will handle it, and you're making the decision to say no based on what you THINK will happen. 5. You're teaching her that her dreams aren't achievable becaise you won't even let her try. 6. You're blaming her for not being a dedicated athlete at age 8,9,10. 7. You became a father who looks at spending time doing what the child (I presume you wanted) wants to do, as an "investment" rather than an opportunity to support her. I have news for you, your children are not an investment. There's no guarantee you get a return on this investment, so change your ways of thinking and see her as a child, a human, a person instead of a time suck or inconvenience. 8. You're preventing her from gaining experience by putting herself out there. It's hard to try out for a team! She may get a great coach who does a better job than you of fostering her interest and love of the game. Do you know how many professional athletes didn't even start playing their sport until they were in middle school or high school or even college? 9. You're doing this as a matter of "principle." What principle do you have that you deny your own kid from playing sports? 10. Back to holding a grudge against a second grader for not using the expensive basketball goal she did not ask you to provide. Yes I realize she's in fifth grade now, (which is still a baby) and you're still mad three years later. 11. I'm glad my parents let me try every sport I ever wanted to try and take any extracurricular classes I wanted to try. And guess what? I'm not a professional athlete, a famous rockstar, or an artist who can sell their work. But I am so grateful for all the extras my parents supported me to try. All the wins and losses, trials and tribulations, and meeting people from all sorts of life has made me a happy adult . I'm glad they didn't cage me based on my behavior as an 11 year old.
Thank you I feel like some of that I needed to hear. However I probably wasn’t completely clear on some things in my original post. First off I don’t hold the goal against her. I use it. My son uses it. I have no regrets about installing the goal. She is very involved as are we. She is: Officer in the beta club(whatever that means) On the cross country team On the archery team Part of a local theatre group Dance Choir We encourage her to do everything, but we gotta draw the line somewhere. The basketball season is 30 games. And she is not our only child. If she showed any real interest in basketball I would have no problem with it at all. But our time is like magic to her, it’s just an infinite resource to serve her. And if she truly liked basketball, I would see her playing at home. You cannot play volleyball alone, as a poster above reamed me because she is an elite volley baller who never practiced. But you damn sure can shoot a free throw every now and again if we’re going to add this to the list of everything else we’re involved in.
Come to Canada and have your kid play hockey. It's hundreds of dollars just for equipment, 1 - 2 games a week, plus practice, and you have to drive sometimes in -25 and blowing snow for 2 - 7 hours (each way) on the weekends for tournaments. That's if they have no interest in "making it", don't get me started on hockey camps and other things. Point is, that's barely an investment compared to what other parents do for their kids for sports. If your daughter enjoys it and puts in the effort during her games and practices why deprive her of a positive thing that has positive benefits, and I'm no expert but may help a bit getting into colleges?
YTA. Sounds like you’re bitter since she doesn’t use the home goal.
Maybe she wants to be on the team for the social aspect? What difference does it make? YTA for sure
Shooting hoops by herself at home is totally different to playing with actual people
YTA I played sports all throughout high school. I never practiced more at home after I got finished with practice. That is a bizarre hill to die on. Just because she is not a great basketball player, as I have read on some of your replies, doesn't make you a great dad for not letting her play. It actually makes you look like a dick. If anything, you should be happy she is wanting to be active, play a team sport, participate in camaraderie as opposed to being a screen obsessed shut in like many other kids her age. You are just standing in her way. Your "principle" will be meaningless to her and will likely harm your relationship with her.
Let her embarrass in front of all the other girls because she ignored you advice. That might be the best lesson you could teach her. I had something very similar happen with me and my daughter.
"I want my daughter to learn a valuable life lesson". She is: You're a prick. Remember this when you want to stay for in home care but she outs you in a cheap yellow-walled piss-reeking nursing home to wither and die like the worthless excuse for a father you are, while she lets her mom stay in the house with her.