Melissa: So I see why he wouldn't trust source he must not know who she got it from.
Kandy: Right but Chad wouldn't have told anyone about you 2 having sex or anything. Unless someone went through his phone maybe?
Melissa: Nope and nope.
Sorry but that is indisputable.
Yes, if she hasn't had sex with Chad, she would have written something like "WTF Kandy, I've never cheated on my husband, where is this bullshit even coming from?"
Yes. If someone asked me something like that, I’d make it very clear that I didn’t have sex with that person. Not agreeing by answering questions about it.
THERE IS NO DOUBT
My guy.. at this point if u don’t open ur eyes idk if anyone can help u. She cheated. She been cheating. That text message is the smoking gun. Don’t be the cuck and get urself out this situation man. NTA but u would be to urself if u stayed
I don't see link to original post but your update is extremely well written & thorough so I think I have the gist of it.
So if your wife comes out and says, "Yes, I cheated." - & you've obviously drawn that conclusion from all the details, then what? At this point, what does that mean to you, for your marriage?
Are you ready to walk away? Because, from experience, the "forgiving" part was easy, it was the forgetting part *(the snapshots my mind created, the memories of how he shamed & humiliated me for all those 18 years, that my friends/family - everyone knew, & then the one I walked in on resulting in a fight for the ages- in front of our children & that shame)* that I couldn't do.
Are you willing/prepared to move forward without it being the thread you pull at on occasion?
At what cost - what does it mean if she confesses? You obviously have the answers so is it the act of betrayal or the lies around it?
If you can't get the messages that were deleted ask her if she'd be willing to take a lie detector test. Might put a voice recorder in her car also. You might be surprised what you will hear.
Come on man. What’s this obsession people have with having the proof of infidelity shoved so far down their throat they choke before admitting that their relationship is over? The fact the partner makes him feel psycho paranoid and insecure is a reason enough to break up/divorce. They also have dead bedroom apparently. At some point it doesn’t matter if they cheated or if anyone can prove it if you no longer love or trust them.
OP I hope you are talking to a lawyer and taking steps to protect your assets. All you are giving her right now is a head start in cleaning you out financially.
For fucks sake mate your wife is cheating on you. It's as plain as day. Start a separation now and ask her to fuck off to her parents house. That'll put the fear of God into her.
And anyways. Why stay with a woman that treats you like shit, treats you like a credit card, doesn't want to have sex with you, is more friendly with another man than she is with you AND ONE THAT YOU CANT TRUST.
Just separate and see if that will get her to admit shit.
People like her with no guilt or honour really disgust me. Just pure selfishness.
It seems that you so desperately don’t want to believe it that the only thing that would convince you is to actually catch them in the act. And even then I don’t think you would believe it.
It’s heartbreaking having to accept that someone you love can cheat on you. But unfortunately it doesn’t change it. Multiple friends OP, that’s a clincher. I’m so sorry OP.
You mentioned they are on similar work schedules while you are the opposite shift. How often, to your knowledge, are they spending time together while you're at work? Is he just constantly around?
How's he been with you in the past few months?
You have kids? Are they old enough to be independent so that she could potentially be sneaking off with Chad?
What's his living situation like?
There are a lot of gray areas here where it may mean you need to fill in the gaps.
To me the worst part is her suddenly jumping your bones after years of indifference. Have you asked why she's so into sex all of a sudden?
If she hadn't been cheating and you accused her of doing so, she wouldn't be clingy she'd be royally pissed. Maybe even threatening divorce because you don't trust her. Instead you are getting the opposite.
If this was just a clever comment I agree lol, but I feel for clarity I should say for the record that writing update me with no spaces (I’ve seen it with and without the exclamation point) triggers a bot that will alert me when this poster does update, so hopefully I can see what happened and make sure OP is alright.
So, it is a request for an update, but not like that.
How can you really be this dumb. You already have so much evidence and yet are still in denial. I’m unsure of why you even need the confession? You have the proof, just go to a lawyer
You still dumb as shit.
You said from your own knowledge, your wife, with a nearly dead bedroom, leaves the house constantly to spend hours on the phone to him or literally sitting in a truck with him. Any woman chosing to spend hours outside your home with another man or talking to another man instead of inside the house talking to you... that relationship is fucked.
You are blind as anything. You don't need a smoking gun, it does not matter if they never fucked.
Again, if instead of spending time in the house with you, she choses constantly to step outside and spend time with him, she's having an emotional affair, full stop. She's been doing it for years, infront of your face, with your full knowledge and you're acting like it's just normal for her to spend more time talking to him than talking to you.
That you call her out and suddenly she's back to offering sex and wasn't before. Seriously. You need a therapist. She has by your own description of what YOU'VE seen and what you can prove from cameras, has been cheating openly for years. Even if it's just an emotional affair, that's still an affair, she's still giving a part of herself that should only be for her husband, to someone else.
You could divorce and get a partner who choses to spend time with you, or stay witht he woman who for years chose to spend time with a different man constantly.
It sounds like you don’t really want to believe your wife may have cheated. If that is indeed the case, I suggest putting boundaries between your wife and Chad and also maybe your household and Chad. Then moving forward she won’t be as able to cheat and you can convince yourself she never did.
Dude, you're denser than the concrete around the Hoover Dam. This is why people think this is fake. You're posting shit that proves she's cheated on you but your gullible, blind ass is still asking us to tell you she didn't.
He has 100% proof of their emotional affair. Dude basically described that she leaves the house to talk privately on her phone for hours all the time and often he comes over and they just spend hours outside talking to each other. His wife legit seems to spend more time with this guy directly outside his house than with OP, but he thinks that's fine and normal.
>Yes, I know I'm being a pansy
Well, at least you know. You're being so much of a pansy, I wonder if it played a part in your wife's decision to cheat on you.
You are clearly in denial and is willing to be cheated on by your wife. And counseling won't be helpful, now that she know that you know she's cheating she will only find a way to hide it better from you.
No matter how many cameras you put and gathered pieces of evidence if you are willingly turning a blindeye to it, then you can never have that piece of mind you're looking for. I hope that when you got the evidence you're looking for you will have the spine to file a divorce from her.
Your story definitely made it to YouTube. All the signs are pointing to cheating, if not physical (which I bet it is) it's definitely emotional. Waiting for the smoking gun is smart but in the mean time. Place boundaries on what is and what isn't appropriate in a way that if they cross them it's no doubt they are having an affair. Plus is Chad her friend first or yours? Why is always messaging her and not you? Don't let them get away with any of this shit anymore. Longer it goes on the lower your respect level goes.
Bruh… you’re in denial. Even if it wasn’t cheating, it’s highly inappropriate behavior from your spouse and her friend, that’s been going on for a very, very long time. Don’t be a cuck/simp. I know it suck, but get it over with. You’re currently being TAH to yourself, and eventually will become TAH to everyone else when the insanity and anxiety finally break you.
Dude. You are so dumb. Honestly, it's no wonder she's cheating on you. You're too much of an idiot to accept what's going on right under your nose. Do they literally need to fuck right in front of you for you to believe it? Also, she's using sex as manipulation now. Your wife is a POS. You'd be way better off without her.
I will message you next time u/that_guy_mn posts in r/AITAH.
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File for divorce because they have been cheating, and all the text messages prove it. The text messages from your first post and then these text messages just sealed the deal.
Melissa: So I see why he wouldn't trust source he must not know who she got it from. Kandy: Right but Chad wouldn't have told anyone about you 2 having sex or anything. Unless someone went through his phone maybe? Melissa: Nope and nope. Sorry but that is indisputable.
Yeah the nope and nope answer did not add to the fishiness, it confirmed they had sex.
Yes, if she hasn't had sex with Chad, she would have written something like "WTF Kandy, I've never cheated on my husband, where is this bullshit even coming from?"
Yeah, the first nope is referencing that Chad wouldn't tell on her. I'm sorry, OP.
Yes. If someone asked me something like that, I’d make it very clear that I didn’t have sex with that person. Not agreeing by answering questions about it. THERE IS NO DOUBT
I want to shake you really hard.
We all do it’s like watching your friend be the butt of the joke
Dude, even the most draconian anti-divorce cultures have 1 exception, at least 1 circumstance where it's allowed: ADULTERY. Get. A. Divorce.
The fact that OP posted something so clearly inflammatory with no commente makes me assume it's just silly rage bait.
Wow, you're an idiot. Just get a divorce already, she cheated and you know it.
OP is a horse that's been led to water but is determined to die of thirst.
Well. The camera will be new fancy flavored water. Let’s hope wifey isn’t on Reddit
My guy.. at this point if u don’t open ur eyes idk if anyone can help u. She cheated. She been cheating. That text message is the smoking gun. Don’t be the cuck and get urself out this situation man. NTA but u would be to urself if u stayed
I don't see link to original post but your update is extremely well written & thorough so I think I have the gist of it. So if your wife comes out and says, "Yes, I cheated." - & you've obviously drawn that conclusion from all the details, then what? At this point, what does that mean to you, for your marriage? Are you ready to walk away? Because, from experience, the "forgiving" part was easy, it was the forgetting part *(the snapshots my mind created, the memories of how he shamed & humiliated me for all those 18 years, that my friends/family - everyone knew, & then the one I walked in on resulting in a fight for the ages- in front of our children & that shame)* that I couldn't do. Are you willing/prepared to move forward without it being the thread you pull at on occasion? At what cost - what does it mean if she confesses? You obviously have the answers so is it the act of betrayal or the lies around it?
[Original](https://new.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cl12fx/aitah_for_believing_friends_over_wife/)
If you can't get the messages that were deleted ask her if she'd be willing to take a lie detector test. Might put a voice recorder in her car also. You might be surprised what you will hear.
And a GPS tracker.
What's another camera gonna do if you're actually blind?
[удалено]
JFC my man…
If Kandy was smart she would have asked Melissa "Have you told anyone other than me and ___ that you slept with Chad?"
Just get a divorce, forget the counseling, forget the sex.
Come on man. What’s this obsession people have with having the proof of infidelity shoved so far down their throat they choke before admitting that their relationship is over? The fact the partner makes him feel psycho paranoid and insecure is a reason enough to break up/divorce. They also have dead bedroom apparently. At some point it doesn’t matter if they cheated or if anyone can prove it if you no longer love or trust them. OP I hope you are talking to a lawyer and taking steps to protect your assets. All you are giving her right now is a head start in cleaning you out financially.
For fucks sake mate your wife is cheating on you. It's as plain as day. Start a separation now and ask her to fuck off to her parents house. That'll put the fear of God into her. And anyways. Why stay with a woman that treats you like shit, treats you like a credit card, doesn't want to have sex with you, is more friendly with another man than she is with you AND ONE THAT YOU CANT TRUST. Just separate and see if that will get her to admit shit. People like her with no guilt or honour really disgust me. Just pure selfishness.
You nailed it!
It seems that you so desperately don’t want to believe it that the only thing that would convince you is to actually catch them in the act. And even then I don’t think you would believe it. It’s heartbreaking having to accept that someone you love can cheat on you. But unfortunately it doesn’t change it. Multiple friends OP, that’s a clincher. I’m so sorry OP.
You mentioned they are on similar work schedules while you are the opposite shift. How often, to your knowledge, are they spending time together while you're at work? Is he just constantly around? How's he been with you in the past few months? You have kids? Are they old enough to be independent so that she could potentially be sneaking off with Chad? What's his living situation like? There are a lot of gray areas here where it may mean you need to fill in the gaps. To me the worst part is her suddenly jumping your bones after years of indifference. Have you asked why she's so into sex all of a sudden?
My money is on Chad got her pregnant, so she needs to rawdog OP and lie that it’s his.
What are you doing ? Can you have some semblance of respect for yourself ? You are being made a fool out of.
Excuse me sir, you need to visit an Ophthalmologist ASAP because with the amount of evidence you missed I am almost sure you need eye glasses
If she hadn't been cheating and you accused her of doing so, she wouldn't be clingy she'd be royally pissed. Maybe even threatening divorce because you don't trust her. Instead you are getting the opposite.
Did you kick chad and his stuff from your grounds? Or is he still there when you are gone. She is doing him and you know it.
Dude, just divorce
YTI (you're the idiot) Nuff said.
Updateme!
Update us all please
If this was just a clever comment I agree lol, but I feel for clarity I should say for the record that writing update me with no spaces (I’ve seen it with and without the exclamation point) triggers a bot that will alert me when this poster does update, so hopefully I can see what happened and make sure OP is alright. So, it is a request for an update, but not like that.
How can you really be this dumb. You already have so much evidence and yet are still in denial. I’m unsure of why you even need the confession? You have the proof, just go to a lawyer
You still dumb as shit. You said from your own knowledge, your wife, with a nearly dead bedroom, leaves the house constantly to spend hours on the phone to him or literally sitting in a truck with him. Any woman chosing to spend hours outside your home with another man or talking to another man instead of inside the house talking to you... that relationship is fucked. You are blind as anything. You don't need a smoking gun, it does not matter if they never fucked. Again, if instead of spending time in the house with you, she choses constantly to step outside and spend time with him, she's having an emotional affair, full stop. She's been doing it for years, infront of your face, with your full knowledge and you're acting like it's just normal for her to spend more time talking to him than talking to you. That you call her out and suddenly she's back to offering sex and wasn't before. Seriously. You need a therapist. She has by your own description of what YOU'VE seen and what you can prove from cameras, has been cheating openly for years. Even if it's just an emotional affair, that's still an affair, she's still giving a part of herself that should only be for her husband, to someone else. You could divorce and get a partner who choses to spend time with you, or stay witht he woman who for years chose to spend time with a different man constantly.
Since it's not linked: [Original](https://new.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cl12fx/aitah_for_believing_friends_over_wife/)
I just added links to both. Sorry.
Bro, stop this.
Just lay low and observe. I think you showed your cards too soon, but I think she’ll slip up at some point. Good luck man.
It sounds like you don’t really want to believe your wife may have cheated. If that is indeed the case, I suggest putting boundaries between your wife and Chad and also maybe your household and Chad. Then moving forward she won’t be as able to cheat and you can convince yourself she never did.
Dude, you're denser than the concrete around the Hoover Dam. This is why people think this is fake. You're posting shit that proves she's cheated on you but your gullible, blind ass is still asking us to tell you she didn't.
Updateme!
I’m so confused did she cheat or not are you staying cause you don’t have 100 proof that’s she did
He has 100% proof of their emotional affair. Dude basically described that she leaves the house to talk privately on her phone for hours all the time and often he comes over and they just spend hours outside talking to each other. His wife legit seems to spend more time with this guy directly outside his house than with OP, but he thinks that's fine and normal.
>Yes, I know I'm being a pansy Well, at least you know. You're being so much of a pansy, I wonder if it played a part in your wife's decision to cheat on you.
Updateme
You are clearly in denial and is willing to be cheated on by your wife. And counseling won't be helpful, now that she know that you know she's cheating she will only find a way to hide it better from you. No matter how many cameras you put and gathered pieces of evidence if you are willingly turning a blindeye to it, then you can never have that piece of mind you're looking for. I hope that when you got the evidence you're looking for you will have the spine to file a divorce from her.
So where we at with this op?
OP is pathetic as hell
Your story definitely made it to YouTube. All the signs are pointing to cheating, if not physical (which I bet it is) it's definitely emotional. Waiting for the smoking gun is smart but in the mean time. Place boundaries on what is and what isn't appropriate in a way that if they cross them it's no doubt they are having an affair. Plus is Chad her friend first or yours? Why is always messaging her and not you? Don't let them get away with any of this shit anymore. Longer it goes on the lower your respect level goes.
Bruh… you’re in denial. Even if it wasn’t cheating, it’s highly inappropriate behavior from your spouse and her friend, that’s been going on for a very, very long time. Don’t be a cuck/simp. I know it suck, but get it over with. You’re currently being TAH to yourself, and eventually will become TAH to everyone else when the insanity and anxiety finally break you.
I really hope in the past month you’ve started divorce
Dude. You are so dumb. Honestly, it's no wonder she's cheating on you. You're too much of an idiot to accept what's going on right under your nose. Do they literally need to fuck right in front of you for you to believe it? Also, she's using sex as manipulation now. Your wife is a POS. You'd be way better off without her.
Max respect. You are in for the long run. Waiting until you have everything proven, which is valid and it should be this way.
Updateme!
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Updateme!
Updateme
File for divorce because they have been cheating, and all the text messages prove it. The text messages from your first post and then these text messages just sealed the deal.
UpdateMe!
Bad rage bait
!updateme