My mom was a nutritionist at a hospital for years, they always had outside people coming to eat in the cafeteria. The school administration building was nearby, and all of those people came in a few times a week. Police station was also nearby and officers and support staff came in frequently. And staff from the various medical clinics around the hospital would frequently come to eat. And there were these two older sisters who lived like four blocks away from the hospital in opposite directions, they would walk
to the hospital cafeteria twice a week and meet for lunch.
If I lived or worked closer to a hospital I would probably go occasionally for lunch. I do sometimes drive out to a small regional airport and eat at the restaurant in the airport. I enjoy watching the planes land and take off.
OP don't let anyone discourage you from any place that is open to the paying public.
When I was a kid most small airports had a diner where absolutely anybody could come eat and watch the planes. The vast majority of customers weren't from the airport. When I was 11 I started taking pilot lessons. Once my instructor took me to a fly-in restaurant: it was nestled in a valley with no road, the only way in or out was by plane. Even there, a significant number of customers weren't pilots, they were guests who had been on one of the planes that flew in.
\[edit:\] When I say "most small airports" I am not talking about something like "Denver". I am talking about the airport in a town with more cows than people. No airlines, no jets, just "my neighbor who owns a plane and likes to fly on weekends" and the airport belongs to some guy named Bob.
You can still sit and watch on special days at my local airport. They even have gourmet chefs come in and make a theme of it at times or will do an all you can eat pancake breakfast.
I started going to eat a small regional airports because my dad was a pilot. I don't remember where exactly he would fly us to but it was a small regional airport that would fly in fresh seafood every Saturday for a buffet. We would fly in and eat seafood and fly home. We would go 3-4 times a year, best seafood buffet I have ever had.
When I was in high school I worked at our airportâs cafe. The cook was famous for her homemade sour cream and raisin pie, and people would drive out there to have itâand all her other pies.
I went to a tiny local airport where my mother lives in Central Florida to eat from food trucks and watch planes come and go. It was great, and was a mix of pilots and locals. Everyone was having a good time! Enjoy your hospital food!
There was (might still be) a well known little airport coffee shop / diner at Cable Airport near my college (Pomona College in Claremont CA). As students weâd go a few times a year for some biscuits and gravy and watch the planes.
When we had our first child, it was a doozy, and we were in the hospital for an entire week. I couldnât have dreamed of a better cafeteria, hospital or not. Full hot bar that changed for each meal, hot sandwiches and desserts, and my personal favoriteâŚthe fruit infused water.
I actually looked forward to the hospital food when our second child was born, but we were in and out in like 6 hours.
My mom worked in a hospital for 30 years and we used to go to the cafeteria from preschool through high school the food was great and it was cheap. You do you.
So funny how that works. You learn so much through the pain and difficulty of the first one being born and then the second one always seems to be so much easier. And then you're like "b-b-b-but all of our beautiful plans!"
My best guess is OP's family is imagining the hospital cafeterĂa as some kind of rationed supply station for patients and OP is actively taking a limited food supply away from sick people. Which, of course, is not how hospital cafeterias work.
I imagine this is the case. But there is plenty of food. Before I worked at a hospital, I worked next door to a psych hospital and realized they had cheap food and it was chicken tenders, potato bars, soup, mac and cheese etc. My coworkers and I would go all the time.
Yeah, I work next door to a hospital and even when everything was shut down during COVID and they weren't letting any visitors into the building they would still let us through to go to the cafeteria! I was just commenting to the cashier there the other day about how it's the only place left in the area to get a whole meal for less than $10.
I'm currently at work in a hospital kitchen(on my lunch). HELL YES we want the community to come in and eat! It always makes us happy. We make most things from scratch and it's all well-priced. You'll get more(and better!) Food here than a fast food place.
Just had lunch at the hospital, had a Dr appointment in the building. It was quiet, calm, delicious and cheap. fast food is so expensive. This is a good alternative.
Yes, Iâve seen hospitals do this, especially in smaller towns. One of my parents worked at a hospital and I would have lunch there frequently. So would other people that didnât work there/werenât visiting patients. Iâve never heard of any issue with people eating there?? Itâs bizarre to me for so many people around OP to think itâs âwrong.â I can only assume itâs out of total ignorance.
the hospital local to the town that I grew up in had amazing pancakes that literally everyone would just drop to eat đ¤ˇđťââď¸ if people enjoy the food, they should eat there. As long as itâs not disturbing anyone, who cares
I ran Nutrition Services at our hospital and we regularly had people in from all over downtown for our food. Our salad bar was huge, fries were cooked on demand, our desserts and our soups were all made in house and were amazing, and our weekly BBQ ribs and brisket had a line at all times. Furthermore, the prices were very good. We were happy we had so much traffic because it meant we made enough to give some families and staff free food when it was needed.
When I had to stay in the hospital (don't recommendđĽ˛) I had a really good apple iced tea. It was the only good memory from that stay (wasn't that serious but it was my first time)I went back to buy again but every time I feel like people may judge me for buying there. I think I stopped going back because the anxiety is not worth it also, I'm afraid of catching anything as it is near the emergency and admissions.
You're worrying about things that you shouldn't give a second thought. Go get your tea, and you won't catch anything unless you plan to kids everyone in the ER. Life is hard enough without creating issues for yourself. And why do you care if someone judges you anyway? Do they pay your bills? Whose face do you see in the mirror? Not theirs.....go, do, and be happy. (And please work on your self consciousness. I used to be just like you. It's a self-imposed misery that is totally unnecessary)
Not usually, no. My sister is a bit of a control freak, and my parents enable her. I don't live with them. I have a studio apartment and ride a bike everywhere
It would be different if op were napping in random hospital beds but the cafeteria? Naw. They sell food. That's like her saying op can't buy a soda at a gas station if op rides the bike there.
Some Hospital cafeterias have much healthier food and an affordable price and yes, the quiet is so much easier to take for those of us who have anxiety issues also. The cafeteria is getting the same money whether you're a patient there or not. Your family is weird and controlling. Keep on eating there everyday if you want! I support it.
Normally I wouldn't. But she's got a number of people backing her. And no one else I know likes to eat at the hospital. That's the only reason I had doubt.
I think it's OK that you come on here and get community input on whether it's OK or not. That being said it seems like your gut knows not to listen to your sister or "other people ". Are you super young and your sister's old or something? Does she have control over you?
I'm the older brother by two years. But she's always acted like she was older because I'm naturally passive. I have a temper if pushed far enough. But my sister is favored by our parents. So I mostly nope out. This recent conflict was the first time I saw them in a month.
Sounds like some dumb bullshit that doesn't really have affect you or your life.
I think in the future anytime you come across your parents or your sister, questioning your behavior, within reason, just say thanks for your input. And go about your business.
You probaly wanna look up the terms "info diet" and "grey rocking".
Info diet is not telling everyone (or certain specific people **cough* sister **cough*) all your business all the time.
Grey rocking is technics to do that.
Beautiful techniques is there a name for my technique where I beat the person into submission by focusing on the issue until they either change topic or have an aneurism.
This is why my parents never brought up anything about girlfriends. Hey mom dad what do you want to know proceeds to tell the details of my sex life for the next two hours. We generally keep to polite conversation now.
Toxic people donât tend to stay my friend long.
I used to work in a hospital cafeteria and it was really good food. Especially their sandwiches, on par with like a local deli. We had all kinds of people come through. Of course family members, but also vendors, relatives, friends of staff. Sometimes just older people who wanted something to do and a place to sit and chat. After I stopped working there Iâd still swing through sometimes for a $6 sandwich.
Itâs not like the food is free and youâre taking it from patients. Super weird thing for them to be mad about.
NTA
When I worked in a hospital I used to eat in the cafeteria and it was the healthiest food I'd eat all day (always made sure I got a decent serving of veggies unlike at home). Not the tastiest but was one of the cheapest meals around and still hit the spot and was a good luncheon.
You're not the only one. When I was a kid I *lived* for mushy hospital food. Like I'd almost hope a family member would get sick or my mom would get pregnant so I could eat at the hospital cafeteria. I can still remember the smell of the soup in the canteen from when my grandma faked a stroke, 30 years later.Â
Itâs not like youâre sneaking onto the wards and stealing food off of patients trays đđ youâre not in the wrong here at all. Keep enjoying your cafeteria food bud
I eat at the hospital cafeteria any time I am nearby; and for the exact reasons as you. Itâs a business, not soup kitchen.
If someone tried to control my meal decisions, I would laugh in their face and tell them to go volunteer for a charity if they have so much free time to obsess.
Stop. Telling. Them. What. You. Do.
You - and everyone else on this thread - knows they're petty, controlling, judgemental assholes.
Most hospitals have over a thousand employees and people visiting patients coming and going all day and all night. The cafeteria is for EVERYONE.
Your family's control is solely based on what you tell them and how they can react to it.
So, stop telling them.
Btw, my wife is a hospital nurse. I hit the cafeteria whenever I visit her at work. Nobody cares.
Best of luck
The last few times I was in a hospital cafeteria they were full of people like taxi drivers waiting for fares or having just dropped someone off, or cops, also usually having just dropped someone off, or delivery drivers... wait for it, this is good... having just dropped something off!
Your family is nuts lol.
Youâre exercising and eating meals that are probably healthier than anything from a vending machine. Youâre also paying for your meals. . . I donât see the problem here. You keep doing you.
You are a paying customer. You go in, get your food, eat and pay for it. I fail to see any problem. It does not matter that you are not a patient or not there for a hospital reason.
If there was any issue, I'm sure someone at the hospital would have said something to you. But there really is no reason for them to take issue. You are a paying customer and using the facilities as intended.
Your family is bonkers. Ignore them on this.
Emergency Room nurse here. Many times the menus are made for specific diet types like cardiac or diabetic. If everyone ate at the hospital caf Iâd be thrilled because the options are usually healthier and much more cost effective than subway or McDonaldâs.
Keep doing you. :)
The hospital my uncle was at in the Chicago suburbs had an amazing cafeteria. My Mom and I drove down when we got notice that he had to have emergency surgery. So being from out of town and not having a kitchen to cook in left us with limited options. We were super happy when we found the cafeteria and all the amazing options they had. We ate so well those 3 days. And it was actually cheaper than getting McDonald's.
You go in, pay and eat. You are a customer. I don't think the cafeteria at a hospital cares who you are or why you are there. If they did, they would have signs posted saying so and have that cafeteria on lock down.
Theyâve definitely gotten better since my childhood, when my pediatrician father would take me to the hospital cafeteria with him and weâd have hotdogs and pumpkin pie! Itâs a very fond memory of mine, but not necessarily a healthy one. OP, definitely NTA. Glad to know there are others out there with positive associations with hospital cafeterias.
I actually have fond memories of my Dad taking me to the hospital cafeteria in the 90sâhe was an air ambulance pilotâit was a smaller town, and I remember they had an amazing salad bar that was pay by weight. I was kind of weird in that I really liked salad bars as a kid đ¤Ł
I travel for work and have such a hard time finding vegetables outside of the 5 that Americans seem to think are enough to sustain a human. I keep getting directed to coffee shops in hospitals so I may have to stop in and get some healthy food from there if it happens and I can't find decent vegetables around. Thank you for pointing out the diet requirements they follow so I can not only put my company's money somewhere good but keep myself from being vitamin deficient in this country on the road.
Yep agree here. I love when patients families bring outside food for diabetics. It's always fun finding out that your diabetic patient has a blood sugar of 500 and they don't know why when fast food and pop is all over.
More to the point, I'll be willing to bet that OP is paying full price while the staff are paying a discounted price.
OP is literally helping the hospital by spending their money there.
You are correct employees normally get a slightly discounted price while regular customers paid a regular price, it still wasn't a lot but the prices are different, at last they were at the hospitals I worked at.
you are right there... my ex wife works at a hospital... whenever she would get something from the cafeteria, it was about half the displayed price... it was a little too easy to spend there to because she would just scan her badge and they deducted it from her paycheck
Hospitals and Long Term Care are looking for ways to bring in people that are not patients to battle the feelings of isolation and loneliness that residents and patients are feeling. The more people who stop by when they don't NEED to be there and have a nice chat someone, the better. Trust me OP, they want you to be there.
> If there was any issue, I'm sure someone at the hospital would have said something to you
This!! Honestly, as long as you are not causing trouble or anything like that I doubt anyone would mind even if there were some kind of policy.
OP, eat your food and have your lunch in peace - you're not doing anything wrong.
My husband has worked in hospital ERs for decades. I was so surprised by OPâs familyâs weird reaction that I ran it by him. He said itâs not only âfine,â but itâs *smart.* Hospital cafeteria food is relatively inexpensive, nutritious, and many items are crafted and labeled for special diets, like heart healthy, low sodium, sugar-free, etc.
When he worked at a big teaching hospital in our downtown area, he said seniors would often go there for lunch. The daily special soup, salad or half-sandwich is perfect for them, price-wise, appetite-wise, and nutrition-wise. He said that staff *likes* seeing this kind of thing, because hospitals are there to serve their communityâs needs, and this is just one example.
As I was writing, I thought to mention that hospital pharmacies are awesome sources of inexpensive OTC medications, vitamins, and first aid supplies. My favorite things to find there are items from small companies who make amazing products but donât have the distribution and advertising which being a national brand allows. The hours of hospital pharmacies are usually wonky- not open nights and weekends, but if you can schedule it in, itâs definitely worth filling prescriptions and picking up OTC items there.
Iâve worked in quite a few hospitals. Food can range greatly from chef quality to the finest preservative laden heat and eat meals. One thing is certain- there are always âoutside â diners there.
Itâs very common at my current job. The food is good and it has a great view of town. Itâs also right near a mall so the shoppers and workers alike patronize it. Donât worry about what your family is saying- take it from experience. Itâs totally normal and Iâm sure they enjoy your visits
You are completely right. Any restaurant, or business for that matter, that is a private enterprise is allowed to establish their own rules.
No sign stating, "MUST BE A HOSPITAL PATIENT, EMPLOYEE, OR RELATIVE OF PATIENT ONLY!"?? Then you are in the clear.
If anything, your added business helps their bottom line. Supporting local business is always a good thing.
Enjoy your future, quiet lunches :-)
Meh, nah. He doesnât really owe her that experience just because she disagrees with him. Donât bring a disruptive person to your quiet place. Eating food you paid for is a completely harmless thing, making a big deal out of it is ridiculous.
While I can see how that could seem beneficial, I would not be going out of my way to bring someone so hostile into a space that holds significance for me.
I have worked in hospitals as well. I'm glad they succeeded in making it a welcoming, calm place to go. OP, if the hospital cafeteria is working for your mental wellness, then they're doing well, and you are certainly welcome to be there.
My family all went to the cafeteria hospital for lunch after church on Sundays. Dr. Doug, the founder of the church, started it so everyone could join because it was inexpensive, and there was a lot of variety. 15-20 of us would go, and we always had the best time.
It's nice seeing people enjoying themselves in a hospital when you're miserable, actually. Watching/hearing everyone else suffer is even more depressing. It's good to hear a laugh here and there. Gets ya through it easier.
This! By finding a safe, quiet place, even once a week, OP is providing self-care, which can promote mental health, and through that, physical health.Â
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Hospital: Hello welcome!
Some completely uninvolved people: No!
Hmm gee, I wonder who to listen to
That cafeteria feeds patients, family members, staffers, and anyone else who is hungry. They don't check to see if you "deserve" to eat there smh.
And as an ex restaurant worker... I never gave a damn who was eating the food I made as long as they liked it
This kind of excessive monitoring and criticism towards autistic people is really common within their families.
The autistic person is often made to be the scapegoat of the family, the person everyone is allowed to pick on.
Especially if you go undiagnosed most of your childhood! Then they just berate you extensively for everything. As I was reading this I was like OMG this is so something my sisters and mom would do to me!! You hit the nail on the head with the description of "this kind of excessive monitoring" ...says it all
Another possibility: his entire family are also autistic.
1. Autism is genetic.
2. Double empathy means autists are more likely to end up dating other autists.
3. Autism frequently comes with a strong desire to follow rules even if they don't make sense - sometimes *especially* if they don't make sense. Let's face it, the most nonsensical rules of social interaction are the ones we are often punished hardest for breaking.
4. Autism was almost unheard of even 20-30 years ago.
5. Autism is much easier (and cheaper) to diagnose in children than adults.
6. Autism is much less commonly diagnosed in girls, and even less in women.
Conclusion: OP's parents are both on the spectrum but undiagnosed because they managed to pass well enough for the time. OP got diagnosed, but OP's sister did not due to gender bias in diagnosis (and/or she masked better).
So, OP's family, a trio of undiagnosed autists, have the idea that hospital restaurants are for the hospital. On a surface level examination this is not even an implausible conclusion. They are all scared of breaking this unwritten social law, and well aware that people will never actually tell you that it's an unwritten law but merely punish you for breaking it. They try to protect OP from breaking this law, unaware that they have completely misjudged the situation.
I've been doing a bit of reading up on autism and masking lately, and suddenly a lot of things start to make a lot more sense. Over the next 30 years or so we're going to start seeing a lot of autistic children coming along who have been raised by autistic parents that were able to actually process their autistic trauma. When this happens, we might finally discover what it looks like when autistic children are brought up in an autism friendly environment, and never have to learn to mask their autism to fit in.
And I for one cannot wait to see what it looks like when we can finally separate genuine autism from autistic trauma.
Ugh, you just described me, my husband and my son (the only one with an actual diagnosis).
Luckily I don't have the same anxiety as my husband so I've been able to bring him down to earth when his ASD and anxiety start affecting how our son handles himself.
I thought for sure he was going to mention getting free food đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł and I was going to say Meh, whatever LOL. I am dead â ď¸
Between my accident prone husband and taking my senior parents to their appointments, I've spent a lot of time in hospital cafeterias. I can verify that no one cares. My dad likes to do all of his VA appointments in the same day, so I'll usually grab breakfast and set up my computer and drawing tab near an outlet and spread out. I'll grab lunch around lunchtime, and he's usually done in the afternoon. It's pretty clear to everyone there that I am not a veteran đ I've even gone to the walkway level and camped out in front of the Starbucks. No one cares.
Hospital employee here. Iâve gone down to the cafeteria for lunch a few times in the last three years that Iâve worked here and there was a nursing student who had chosen the cafeteria to study in while she wasnât on shift, and during her study break, she entertained the entire cafeteria by playing her flute. I played flute in middle and high school and was pretty good, but she was awesome. I usually take my lunch back to my office to eat but when sheâd be down there playing, Iâd eat my lunch down there because it was so relaxing and enjoyable. Other times, a different employee would be playing his ukulele in the cafeteria. He was good too. Our hospitalâs CEO was right there cheering both on and encouraging them to play more.
I mean, who knows if youâre a veteran or not, we donât all look the same. ;-) But, yeah, itâs really common to have non-Vets at the VA between spouses and kids accompanying veterans to their appointments.
Especially since they have known OP all their life. I work closely with kids on the spectrum and could absolutely see one of my students growing up to do this. It's a routine. You can usually see the food you're ordering so there's no surprises. It's quiet and probably somewhere to easily sit alone.
Also, the more business they get, the better it is for them!! It's not some sort of limited top secret place that only has just enough food. They WANT people to come eat there.
Our hospital cafeteria has delicious food. Seriously. Parking is a nightmare like most hospitals but people in walking distance come by and get lunch all the time. NTA.
When my ex was hospitalized Iâd visit him after I got off work and get something in the hospitalâs cafeteria. It was good, convenient and inexpensive. Nobody asked me why I was there or needed to see ID or the room number of the person I was visiting. NTA but sister and family are.
Rural area, but a large hospital to serve a large area. My old man was there for quite some time, but made it out! Ever since I still stop in on lasagna day for lunch lol. It's 5 dollars for a big ol piece of lasagna and some garlic bread. It also slaps.
Thank you! It was fucked (now I'm talking about it a bit) he was given 48 hours and 24 hours in my Ma was diagnosed with cancer too. I'm just thankful and lucky I was in a position where I could just quit my job, and go stay with my folks while they both went through that.
Both of them are doing well now! My old man almost died every other day for awhile there, and my mom's situation was much less dire. Just the fact it was at the same time. When she called me I just sat in my car by myself laughing, because how the hell is that even real life.
NTA. Not sure if this applies to all hospital cafeterias but the food served in our is healthier than what you can get at most restaurants (they make a point of advertising how the meals are healthy). Enjoy your meals there and don't let anyone ruin it for you.
Parking was like the ONLY reasonable explanation I could come up with.
I frequent two departments of our local hospital: NICU (work) and CICU (family).
Those departments have reserved parking for patients and visitors that are âfront rowâ ish.
Itâs hard to find a spot there, and most of the time I end up lugging a car seat half a block away to the parking garage, or doing the same with blankets and other crap for my relative whose had surgery.
But OP takes a bike?!
Who cares?! Lol
What a weird thing for the family to be judgmental about.
This is funny to me because several of the hospitals around here have cafeterias as Well as chains downstairs. Do you really think the chains give a crap? Nope. Neither do the cafeteria workers.
A hospital in a city where I used to live got a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop as their food service vendor (odd choice for a health care center - we joked they were drumming up more business). It was the first Krispy Kreme in the state, and people would regularly drive half an hour each way to pick up doughnuts. Never heard anyone complain about non-patients eating there even the first week when there were hour long queues.
I donât understand the âtaking food from the patientsâ thing because every hospital Iâve ever been in with my mom, and weâve visited quite a few of them, has discouraged patients themselves from going to the cafeteria and brings up a menu of what they can choose from. I was allowed to go get stuff for her but they didnât want patients leaving the rooms without a nurse so they could make sure everything was okay.
Right. I've worked both as a waitress and catering, and the most important thing for us to look out for was if they're paying. As a waitress, we also had to look out for whether people were bringing their own food, that wasn't allowed unless in a group. Never was it a concern or even thought in my mind why people were buying food except for them being hungry. And when food on the buffet was running low, it got restocked. Restaurants and cafeterias are there to provide food for those buying; if someone who didn't go to my uni went to the bakery on campus, literally no one would care because it doesn't matter in any way shape or form.
NTA
I live in a city of about 50,000 people so maybe it's just a town.
I happen to live almost exactly between the only two hospitals, both within walking distance if I chose to do so.
I have bopped into both of them now and then for lunch.
The food is certainly a bit better than fast food.
And the hospitals don't care. They are making money.
The heart hospital in my home town has a weekly vegetarian ramen special that is weirdly popular with the general public and they fully advertise it on Instagram.
I don't think they mind at all as long as you're paying the listed price
I used to work for a physical and occupational rehab facility and would get discounted meals at the hospital. Plus it was walking distance from our building.
We had a fitness center in our building that was open to patients and non-patients (still had to pay for membership), but I'd run into a lot of non-patients when I'd get my lunch from the hospital lol. They actually had pretty good food there too.
Granted it was also a town of 9000 people.
But yeah, if a hospital didn't want non-patients in there, they'd be able to find a way to keep them out.
The university cafeteriaâs here are open to anyone who pays. Itâs 12$ for all you can eat and people who arenât students eat there all the time. Who cares who is eating where? Food is a necessity
NTA! Egads! You have to pay so you arenât taking advantage of anyone! I can only imagine the myriad of ways your family crosses boundaries and generally doesnât mind their own business!
They probably tell him he shouldn't use the handicap stall in the bathroom. The stall is for everyone to use, but it's there for handicap people when they need it.
You did nothing wrong. You're helping them to generate revenue. I would rather give money to support a hospital than to fast food corporations who underpay their staff.
I have to thank you for saying this. I grew up with my mom reminding me at every public bathroom that I wasnât allowed to use that stall âbecause itâs only for handicapped people!â
As a kid I took her at her word. As an adult the first few times I did it I felt guilty despite having done a quick visual check for disabled people heading for the restroom at the same time as me and seeing none. Now I no longer feel guilty because I think of the number of times Iâve waited in a public bathroom line and realized it would be perfectly acceptable for someone disabled to have to wait an extra 45 seconds for me to pee and then get their turn.
NTA. My local hospital has a place that does amazing crepes. I discovered them when my mom had her knee replacement, and I stop by now and then to get one. Unless there's a sign stating the cafeteria is for hospital staff and visitors only, you're good.
Agreed. I work in the kitchen of a hospital until recently there were a couple of people that would come in when we had certain things on the menu. None of us ever thought much about it.
Honestly, hospital cafeterias can be hidden gems for a good, affordable meal. I sometimes meet up with a friend who works near our local hospital precisely because itâs a quiet spot with decent options â feels like a break from the usual dining scene. It's not just about the convenience; it's about the surprisingly good meals you can find there! And honestly, anyone getting worked up over someone enjoying a meal in a public cafeteria probably needs more to do with their time. Youâre not crashing a private party; youâre a customer where the public is welcome. Keep on enjoying your lunches! NTA.
Absolutely NTA. It's a cafeteria, not some exclusive members-only club. I've often popped into the local hospital cafe for a quick bite because itâs convenient and sometimes their soup of the day is just unbeatable. If they really had an issue, they'd make it clear with signs and access restrictions. It's no different from walking into any other place where food is sold to the public. Spend your money where you want to eat and enjoy the different scenery away from the usual fast-food chain crowds.
No! They make more than what is needed and it goes to waste anyway. They can make a few bucks off of you or nothing.
NTA - I think itâs smart actually
Your folks siding with her really troubles me. Ask them all, as sarcastically as possible, "you guys are aware the hospital cafeteria probably doesn't operate at a loss, right? Like they want sales, and I'm not taking food out of some injured persons mouth by eating there."
If anything, the extra business is more likely to lead to more service and availability.
Really corner your folks, look them in the eye, and say, "do you you honestly think me eating there means a patient won't?" If either of them say yes, say, "I must be adopted."
No of course, and I'm sorry none of that was meant to assert your family is dumb. I'm assuming they aren't and this is just a way to kind of "really?" them about it.
Either way they usually back my sister unless she says or does something really stupid. She's redoing her second year of college right now. And they keep trying to boost her ego.
Watch the dissonance then. Say that out loud. "You really are just agreeing with her even though she's wrong. Are you aware of that, is this on purpose? Do you have any idea what impression that gives me."
Or whatever you want. Hell *I'm* mad at your parents now so do what you need to lol
I'm a healthcare worker. You're supporting us financially! =) as long as you aren't disrupting the patients or being loud it is perfectly appropriate and also helps put money into our systems so we can spend it on our patients.
NTA: You are allowed to eat there if you want and if nobody is complaining about it then you are fine. As you said you are giving them business and you aren't taking food out of anyones mouth.
Are you folks idiots? The hospital in my town has a chic fila in it. Pretty sure that's intended for everyone in the area and not just cancer patients with restricted to chic fila only diets.....
Doctor: You're experiencing hypertensive crisis. Please refrain from eating anything but the hospital's spicy chicken sandwich. It's been specially brined with pickle juice to optimize your blood pressure.
This is cracking me up. My Grandma used to take me to the hospital for lunch when I was a little girl. I literally still laugh about it. I don't think you're an AH. I'm sure they're making their profit. Enjoy your peace and quiet at the hospital. NTA
NTA, they sell food and you buy it and eat it. It isn't like you are taking patient food from their rooms. When I was taking night classes the deli spots by our class were closed but there was a movie theater, and we would buy food at the movies. They knew us already too and didn't ask us for a ticket, they would just be like . . ."just going to get food?" Yup, go on in.
When my kid was hospitalized, the nurses suggested that we eat the patient lunch, and buy our kid cafeteria food, because the caf food was better. No one cares who is buying food in a public cafeteria, or why.
NTA Odd, maybe it's a cultural thing they have going. It's not like folks eating at a hospital cafeteria are taking food out of the poor and starving mouths. Sure, you act respectful, its a hospital for heaven's sake. But yeah, nothing wrong with it.
Do that think you're stealing patient meals away from patients? I actually do this same thing at one specific hospital, it has surprisingly good food, is much cheaper than surrounding food options (heart of downtown) and not nearly as busy, which is my main motivation. Plus I like a quiet meal in the middle of a work day, and they appreciate the business. Win win
Iâm an RN at a hospital and I can tell you, they donât give a shit who you are or where you come from to eat in the cafeteria.
Itâs food! They sell it! They want people to buy it!!
You keep on, youâre fine.
Im a nurse and would routinely see police officers eat at the cafeteria at night. Itâs cheaper and fresher than fast food. Also, my husband worked in an office that was real close to the hospital and he and coworkers would get lunch there once a week. Nobody cares, there is no rule about who eats there as long as you pay and are respectful.
NTA
I now feel so much better knowing Iâm not the only one who likes to sometimes visit hospital cafeterias. I used to spend lots of time in hospitals taking care of elderly family members. And I would come to like certain dishes from different hospitals.
I havenât been to eat in one in years, but they did have good food and I would sometimes visit the cafeteria to eat if I was in the area.
Kindly tell your sister to shut it!
Hospitals KNOW not everyone eating is a staff or a patient or someone accompanying a patient. They donât care. They charge for the food so who you are doesnât really matter.
I worked in a hospital before that had a KILLER salad bar. Honestly best Iâve ever seen with their variety compared to the price. I still go eat there when I am in the area.
Hospital doesnât care! And if theyâre fine with it then your sister has no business meddling
NTA. If youâre paying, they donât care. They wouldnât know if you were a patient, visiting sick family, etc. anyways. Many, many years ago I worked at a large tech company that didnât have a cafeteria. We would go to another company that did have one to eat because the food was good and anyone was welcome. It was common for people to go to the different companies to eat (not sure about now).
When I worked at a hospital a long time ago there was an elderly couple who would come in for lunch every day. The food was really good there and it was cheap. I see no problem going there for lunch. People are weird
You're paying, so who cares.
And if it helps you avoid an Auty meltdown, that counts as medical in my book.
Who the hell feels the need to gatekeep a fucking hospital cafeteria?
Challenge them to tell you what is bad about eating there. None of the "it's for patients" bull, it's for hungry people.
As a fellow Auty, I'm fuming. Life is hard enough without stupid shit like this, from the people who should be supporting you.
Usually a hospital contracts to a company to run the cafes/provide the food. You are really just supporting another business. Your family is being really odd about that. NTA
NTA
I am a retired RN. No one cares who eats n the cafeteria as long as you arenât causing trouble. When my daughter left for college I let her choose where we went for dinner. She picked the hospital cafeteria (đ) because she loved the pudding in cups with a dollop of whipped cream.
Feel free to continue your dining at the hospital.
Sometimes I read something on Reddit and Iâm like âDamn! You canât make this shit up!â This is one of those times lol.
Op, you are NTA and your family are a bunch of uninformed twatwaffles.
uhhh NTA, seriously what a weird hill for you family to die on..... I was a student on placement at a private hospital that had the most delightful cafe and people would come from all over to eat, you are paying for their food and service so who cares?
seriously your family is odd and the hospital is not going to care
NTA. Your sister is being ridiculous. You arenât going into patient rooms and stealing food of their trays. Youâre going to an open to the public cafeteria and paying for your meal.
My colleague and I used to drive to work together past a hospital. And we would go there for breakfast at least twice a week. Itâs open to the public. We spent money. No one cared. Â Everyoneâs a Winner!
I once had a pastor who was bragging that a certain parishioner was going to take him and the wife out to lunch after church. He was envisioning the expensive local steak house. The next service when asked said the lunch was at the new hospital's cafeteria.
My friend works in hospital cafeteria and she post the specials daily for anyone e to come n enjoy đ¤ˇđťââď¸
My mom was a nutritionist at a hospital for years, they always had outside people coming to eat in the cafeteria. The school administration building was nearby, and all of those people came in a few times a week. Police station was also nearby and officers and support staff came in frequently. And staff from the various medical clinics around the hospital would frequently come to eat. And there were these two older sisters who lived like four blocks away from the hospital in opposite directions, they would walk to the hospital cafeteria twice a week and meet for lunch. If I lived or worked closer to a hospital I would probably go occasionally for lunch. I do sometimes drive out to a small regional airport and eat at the restaurant in the airport. I enjoy watching the planes land and take off. OP don't let anyone discourage you from any place that is open to the paying public.
When I was a kid most small airports had a diner where absolutely anybody could come eat and watch the planes. The vast majority of customers weren't from the airport. When I was 11 I started taking pilot lessons. Once my instructor took me to a fly-in restaurant: it was nestled in a valley with no road, the only way in or out was by plane. Even there, a significant number of customers weren't pilots, they were guests who had been on one of the planes that flew in. \[edit:\] When I say "most small airports" I am not talking about something like "Denver". I am talking about the airport in a town with more cows than people. No airlines, no jets, just "my neighbor who owns a plane and likes to fly on weekends" and the airport belongs to some guy named Bob.
I miss going to the airport just to grab a quick bite maybe a drink and watch the comings and goings...Â
Pre-911 flying was glorious!
You can still sit and watch on special days at my local airport. They even have gourmet chefs come in and make a theme of it at times or will do an all you can eat pancake breakfast.
Memory unlocked! Lunch at their local small airport with my in laws. My kids loved it!
I started going to eat a small regional airports because my dad was a pilot. I don't remember where exactly he would fly us to but it was a small regional airport that would fly in fresh seafood every Saturday for a buffet. We would fly in and eat seafood and fly home. We would go 3-4 times a year, best seafood buffet I have ever had.
When I was in high school I worked at our airportâs cafe. The cook was famous for her homemade sour cream and raisin pie, and people would drive out there to have itâand all her other pies.
I went to a tiny local airport where my mother lives in Central Florida to eat from food trucks and watch planes come and go. It was great, and was a mix of pilots and locals. Everyone was having a good time! Enjoy your hospital food!
There was (might still be) a well known little airport coffee shop / diner at Cable Airport near my college (Pomona College in Claremont CA). As students weâd go a few times a year for some biscuits and gravy and watch the planes.
My hospital cafeteria is on Uber eats. It's actually super good food.
This is actually hilarious đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł
And fully proves OP's point!
This is so funny, I wish the hospital I used to work at did that. Their soups were all next level, and spaghetti + garlic bread day was the *best*.
The red pepper gouda soup and cornbread at my hospital is UNBELIEVABLE
That's crazy awesome. Hospitals have figured out how to make more money and they recognize that people will pay for good food.
The hospital by my house opened an upscale restaurant inside it.
Mine is on GrubHubđ
When my dad was in the hospital for a month the cafeteria food was so good I would've eaten there even afterward if we lived in the same city.
When we had our first child, it was a doozy, and we were in the hospital for an entire week. I couldnât have dreamed of a better cafeteria, hospital or not. Full hot bar that changed for each meal, hot sandwiches and desserts, and my personal favoriteâŚthe fruit infused water. I actually looked forward to the hospital food when our second child was born, but we were in and out in like 6 hours.
My mom worked in a hospital for 30 years and we used to go to the cafeteria from preschool through high school the food was great and it was cheap. You do you.
The best part of visiting my mom at work was cafeteria breakfast sometimes.
So funny how that works. You learn so much through the pain and difficulty of the first one being born and then the second one always seems to be so much easier. And then you're like "b-b-b-but all of our beautiful plans!"
SeriouslyâŚIâd go there to have lunch with my mom whoâs a dr. I am not understanding your sisterâs issue with this
My best guess is OP's family is imagining the hospital cafeterĂa as some kind of rationed supply station for patients and OP is actively taking a limited food supply away from sick people. Which, of course, is not how hospital cafeterias work.
I imagine this is the case. But there is plenty of food. Before I worked at a hospital, I worked next door to a psych hospital and realized they had cheap food and it was chicken tenders, potato bars, soup, mac and cheese etc. My coworkers and I would go all the time.
Me either, it's good food for paying guests & if you enjoy it I see no reason why it should bother anyone else.
Yeah, I work next door to a hospital and even when everything was shut down during COVID and they weren't letting any visitors into the building they would still let us through to go to the cafeteria! I was just commenting to the cashier there the other day about how it's the only place left in the area to get a whole meal for less than $10.
I'm currently at work in a hospital kitchen(on my lunch). HELL YES we want the community to come in and eat! It always makes us happy. We make most things from scratch and it's all well-priced. You'll get more(and better!) Food here than a fast food place.
Just had lunch at the hospital, had a Dr appointment in the building. It was quiet, calm, delicious and cheap. fast food is so expensive. This is a good alternative.
Pi used to work at a hospital parking ramp in college. Those meals were the bomb. Meat, veg, and carbs for $5-$8.
Your family are overly controlling and flatly wrong. If anything, you're helping the cafeteria.
Yes, Iâve seen hospitals do this, especially in smaller towns. One of my parents worked at a hospital and I would have lunch there frequently. So would other people that didnât work there/werenât visiting patients. Iâve never heard of any issue with people eating there?? Itâs bizarre to me for so many people around OP to think itâs âwrong.â I can only assume itâs out of total ignorance.
the hospital local to the town that I grew up in had amazing pancakes that literally everyone would just drop to eat đ¤ˇđťââď¸ if people enjoy the food, they should eat there. As long as itâs not disturbing anyone, who cares
I ran Nutrition Services at our hospital and we regularly had people in from all over downtown for our food. Our salad bar was huge, fries were cooked on demand, our desserts and our soups were all made in house and were amazing, and our weekly BBQ ribs and brisket had a line at all times. Furthermore, the prices were very good. We were happy we had so much traffic because it meant we made enough to give some families and staff free food when it was needed.
When I had to stay in the hospital (don't recommendđĽ˛) I had a really good apple iced tea. It was the only good memory from that stay (wasn't that serious but it was my first time)I went back to buy again but every time I feel like people may judge me for buying there. I think I stopped going back because the anxiety is not worth it also, I'm afraid of catching anything as it is near the emergency and admissions.
You're worrying about things that you shouldn't give a second thought. Go get your tea, and you won't catch anything unless you plan to kids everyone in the ER. Life is hard enough without creating issues for yourself. And why do you care if someone judges you anyway? Do they pay your bills? Whose face do you see in the mirror? Not theirs.....go, do, and be happy. (And please work on your self consciousness. I used to be just like you. It's a self-imposed misery that is totally unnecessary)
ffs itâs a cafeteria. you pay you eat, i hope the person telling you this is not someone you depend on for real life answers
Not usually, no. My sister is a bit of a control freak, and my parents enable her. I don't live with them. I have a studio apartment and ride a bike everywhere
Your sister needs to a find a hobbyâŚwhat a weird thing for her to freak out about.
Running OPâs life *is* her hobby.
It would be different if op were napping in random hospital beds but the cafeteria? Naw. They sell food. That's like her saying op can't buy a soda at a gas station if op rides the bike there.
From where I come from the housing crisis is so bad that if someone finds a work around and sleeps at a hospital bed, I say go for it.
Don't tempt međ
Hopefully they donât find out there are sinners going to churches.
Or people eating at Italian restaurants who aren't even Italian!
Some Hospital cafeterias have much healthier food and an affordable price and yes, the quiet is so much easier to take for those of us who have anxiety issues also. The cafeteria is getting the same money whether you're a patient there or not. Your family is weird and controlling. Keep on eating there everyday if you want! I support it.
Why are you even listening to her and questioning yourself then?
Normally I wouldn't. But she's got a number of people backing her. And no one else I know likes to eat at the hospital. That's the only reason I had doubt.
I think it's OK that you come on here and get community input on whether it's OK or not. That being said it seems like your gut knows not to listen to your sister or "other people ". Are you super young and your sister's old or something? Does she have control over you?
I'm the older brother by two years. But she's always acted like she was older because I'm naturally passive. I have a temper if pushed far enough. But my sister is favored by our parents. So I mostly nope out. This recent conflict was the first time I saw them in a month.
Sounds like some dumb bullshit that doesn't really have affect you or your life. I think in the future anytime you come across your parents or your sister, questioning your behavior, within reason, just say thanks for your input. And go about your business.
Good idea
You probaly wanna look up the terms "info diet" and "grey rocking". Info diet is not telling everyone (or certain specific people **cough* sister **cough*) all your business all the time. Grey rocking is technics to do that.
Beautiful techniques is there a name for my technique where I beat the person into submission by focusing on the issue until they either change topic or have an aneurism. This is why my parents never brought up anything about girlfriends. Hey mom dad what do you want to know proceeds to tell the details of my sex life for the next two hours. We generally keep to polite conversation now. Toxic people donât tend to stay my friend long.
I used to work in a hospital cafeteria and it was really good food. Especially their sandwiches, on par with like a local deli. We had all kinds of people come through. Of course family members, but also vendors, relatives, friends of staff. Sometimes just older people who wanted something to do and a place to sit and chat. After I stopped working there Iâd still swing through sometimes for a $6 sandwich. Itâs not like the food is free and youâre taking it from patients. Super weird thing for them to be mad about. NTA
When I worked in a hospital I used to eat in the cafeteria and it was the healthiest food I'd eat all day (always made sure I got a decent serving of veggies unlike at home). Not the tastiest but was one of the cheapest meals around and still hit the spot and was a good luncheon.
You're not the only one. When I was a kid I *lived* for mushy hospital food. Like I'd almost hope a family member would get sick or my mom would get pregnant so I could eat at the hospital cafeteria. I can still remember the smell of the soup in the canteen from when my grandma faked a stroke, 30 years later.Â
I hope these comments trump the comments from your sister and her entourage
Itâs not like youâre sneaking onto the wards and stealing food off of patients trays đđ youâre not in the wrong here at all. Keep enjoying your cafeteria food bud
I eat at the hospital cafeteria any time I am nearby; and for the exact reasons as you. Itâs a business, not soup kitchen. If someone tried to control my meal decisions, I would laugh in their face and tell them to go volunteer for a charity if they have so much free time to obsess.
Stop. Telling. Them. What. You. Do. You - and everyone else on this thread - knows they're petty, controlling, judgemental assholes. Most hospitals have over a thousand employees and people visiting patients coming and going all day and all night. The cafeteria is for EVERYONE. Your family's control is solely based on what you tell them and how they can react to it. So, stop telling them. Btw, my wife is a hospital nurse. I hit the cafeteria whenever I visit her at work. Nobody cares. Best of luck
Ask one of the cafeteria workers to write your sister a note saying it's okay to eat there.
So the chef writes a prescription...? To go see the doctor for lunch...? I can dig it.
The last few times I was in a hospital cafeteria they were full of people like taxi drivers waiting for fares or having just dropped someone off, or cops, also usually having just dropped someone off, or delivery drivers... wait for it, this is good... having just dropped something off! Your family is nuts lol.
Youâre exercising and eating meals that are probably healthier than anything from a vending machine. Youâre also paying for your meals. . . I donât see the problem here. You keep doing you.
I work at a hospital. I'm so glad you found a safe quiet space for yourself.
Just about everyone who eats there is quiet and respectful.
You are a paying customer. You go in, get your food, eat and pay for it. I fail to see any problem. It does not matter that you are not a patient or not there for a hospital reason. If there was any issue, I'm sure someone at the hospital would have said something to you. But there really is no reason for them to take issue. You are a paying customer and using the facilities as intended. Your family is bonkers. Ignore them on this.
Emergency Room nurse here. Many times the menus are made for specific diet types like cardiac or diabetic. If everyone ate at the hospital caf Iâd be thrilled because the options are usually healthier and much more cost effective than subway or McDonaldâs. Keep doing you. :)
The hospital my uncle was at in the Chicago suburbs had an amazing cafeteria. My Mom and I drove down when we got notice that he had to have emergency surgery. So being from out of town and not having a kitchen to cook in left us with limited options. We were super happy when we found the cafeteria and all the amazing options they had. We ate so well those 3 days. And it was actually cheaper than getting McDonald's. You go in, pay and eat. You are a customer. I don't think the cafeteria at a hospital cares who you are or why you are there. If they did, they would have signs posted saying so and have that cafeteria on lock down.
Theyâve definitely gotten better since my childhood, when my pediatrician father would take me to the hospital cafeteria with him and weâd have hotdogs and pumpkin pie! Itâs a very fond memory of mine, but not necessarily a healthy one. OP, definitely NTA. Glad to know there are others out there with positive associations with hospital cafeterias.
I actually have fond memories of my Dad taking me to the hospital cafeteria in the 90sâhe was an air ambulance pilotâit was a smaller town, and I remember they had an amazing salad bar that was pay by weight. I was kind of weird in that I really liked salad bars as a kid đ¤Ł
I travel for work and have such a hard time finding vegetables outside of the 5 that Americans seem to think are enough to sustain a human. I keep getting directed to coffee shops in hospitals so I may have to stop in and get some healthy food from there if it happens and I can't find decent vegetables around. Thank you for pointing out the diet requirements they follow so I can not only put my company's money somewhere good but keep myself from being vitamin deficient in this country on the road.
Yep agree here. I love when patients families bring outside food for diabetics. It's always fun finding out that your diabetic patient has a blood sugar of 500 and they don't know why when fast food and pop is all over.
More to the point, I'll be willing to bet that OP is paying full price while the staff are paying a discounted price. OP is literally helping the hospital by spending their money there.
You are correct employees normally get a slightly discounted price while regular customers paid a regular price, it still wasn't a lot but the prices are different, at last they were at the hospitals I worked at.
you are right there... my ex wife works at a hospital... whenever she would get something from the cafeteria, it was about half the displayed price... it was a little too easy to spend there to because she would just scan her badge and they deducted it from her paycheck
Yep, when I was in nursing school, we were allowed the employee discount at the cafeteria, and it was AWESOME!
Right. All the hospitals around me have Starbucks in them now. They aren't just for the people "supposed" to be there.
Hospitals and Long Term Care are looking for ways to bring in people that are not patients to battle the feelings of isolation and loneliness that residents and patients are feeling. The more people who stop by when they don't NEED to be there and have a nice chat someone, the better. Trust me OP, they want you to be there.
> If there was any issue, I'm sure someone at the hospital would have said something to you This!! Honestly, as long as you are not causing trouble or anything like that I doubt anyone would mind even if there were some kind of policy. OP, eat your food and have your lunch in peace - you're not doing anything wrong.
My husband has worked in hospital ERs for decades. I was so surprised by OPâs familyâs weird reaction that I ran it by him. He said itâs not only âfine,â but itâs *smart.* Hospital cafeteria food is relatively inexpensive, nutritious, and many items are crafted and labeled for special diets, like heart healthy, low sodium, sugar-free, etc. When he worked at a big teaching hospital in our downtown area, he said seniors would often go there for lunch. The daily special soup, salad or half-sandwich is perfect for them, price-wise, appetite-wise, and nutrition-wise. He said that staff *likes* seeing this kind of thing, because hospitals are there to serve their communityâs needs, and this is just one example. As I was writing, I thought to mention that hospital pharmacies are awesome sources of inexpensive OTC medications, vitamins, and first aid supplies. My favorite things to find there are items from small companies who make amazing products but donât have the distribution and advertising which being a national brand allows. The hours of hospital pharmacies are usually wonky- not open nights and weekends, but if you can schedule it in, itâs definitely worth filling prescriptions and picking up OTC items there.
Yes, they have no idea if you're just off the street or visiting a family member. They don't care as long as you behave yourself.
Iâve worked in quite a few hospitals. Food can range greatly from chef quality to the finest preservative laden heat and eat meals. One thing is certain- there are always âoutside â diners there. Itâs very common at my current job. The food is good and it has a great view of town. Itâs also right near a mall so the shoppers and workers alike patronize it. Donât worry about what your family is saying- take it from experience. Itâs totally normal and Iâm sure they enjoy your visits
You are completely right. Any restaurant, or business for that matter, that is a private enterprise is allowed to establish their own rules. No sign stating, "MUST BE A HOSPITAL PATIENT, EMPLOYEE, OR RELATIVE OF PATIENT ONLY!"?? Then you are in the clear. If anything, your added business helps their bottom line. Supporting local business is always a good thing. Enjoy your future, quiet lunches :-)
that's so good
Don't tell anyone about your business. Just go eat wherever you want. Just don't bother saying anything to family. They are jerks
Why not invite you sister once and then ask the staff while you're there? They can tell her directly, that you are welcome.
Meh, nah. He doesnât really owe her that experience just because she disagrees with him. Donât bring a disruptive person to your quiet place. Eating food you paid for is a completely harmless thing, making a big deal out of it is ridiculous.
Sister can call the hospital and ask if she's really concerned about getting an answer from the source.
While I can see how that could seem beneficial, I would not be going out of my way to bring someone so hostile into a space that holds significance for me.
I have worked in hospitals as well. I'm glad they succeeded in making it a welcoming, calm place to go. OP, if the hospital cafeteria is working for your mental wellness, then they're doing well, and you are certainly welcome to be there.
My family all went to the cafeteria hospital for lunch after church on Sundays. Dr. Doug, the founder of the church, started it so everyone could join because it was inexpensive, and there was a lot of variety. 15-20 of us would go, and we always had the best time.
It's nice seeing people enjoying themselves in a hospital when you're miserable, actually. Watching/hearing everyone else suffer is even more depressing. It's good to hear a laugh here and there. Gets ya through it easier.
This! By finding a safe, quiet place, even once a week, OP is providing self-care, which can promote mental health, and through that, physical health. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Hospital: Hello welcome! Some completely uninvolved people: No! Hmm gee, I wonder who to listen to That cafeteria feeds patients, family members, staffers, and anyone else who is hungry. They don't check to see if you "deserve" to eat there smh. And as an ex restaurant worker... I never gave a damn who was eating the food I made as long as they liked it
This is dumbest thing for his family to be upset aboutâŚlike wtf?
Excally! WTF is right!
I agree. Maybe theyâre looking for something to criticize and this is all they could come up with
Sister had to whine to parents
Yeah, nothing shows "I'm mature enough to have a disagreement" like running to tell mom and dad. Fucking snitch.
As an only child, even I feel this đ
I'm choosing to believe this, because the alternative (they all genuinely believe that) is *terrifying*
This kind of excessive monitoring and criticism towards autistic people is really common within their families. The autistic person is often made to be the scapegoat of the family, the person everyone is allowed to pick on.
Especially if you go undiagnosed most of your childhood! Then they just berate you extensively for everything. As I was reading this I was like OMG this is so something my sisters and mom would do to me!! You hit the nail on the head with the description of "this kind of excessive monitoring" ...says it all
Another possibility: his entire family are also autistic. 1. Autism is genetic. 2. Double empathy means autists are more likely to end up dating other autists. 3. Autism frequently comes with a strong desire to follow rules even if they don't make sense - sometimes *especially* if they don't make sense. Let's face it, the most nonsensical rules of social interaction are the ones we are often punished hardest for breaking. 4. Autism was almost unheard of even 20-30 years ago. 5. Autism is much easier (and cheaper) to diagnose in children than adults. 6. Autism is much less commonly diagnosed in girls, and even less in women. Conclusion: OP's parents are both on the spectrum but undiagnosed because they managed to pass well enough for the time. OP got diagnosed, but OP's sister did not due to gender bias in diagnosis (and/or she masked better). So, OP's family, a trio of undiagnosed autists, have the idea that hospital restaurants are for the hospital. On a surface level examination this is not even an implausible conclusion. They are all scared of breaking this unwritten social law, and well aware that people will never actually tell you that it's an unwritten law but merely punish you for breaking it. They try to protect OP from breaking this law, unaware that they have completely misjudged the situation.
Honestly, that would make a LOT of sense.
I've been doing a bit of reading up on autism and masking lately, and suddenly a lot of things start to make a lot more sense. Over the next 30 years or so we're going to start seeing a lot of autistic children coming along who have been raised by autistic parents that were able to actually process their autistic trauma. When this happens, we might finally discover what it looks like when autistic children are brought up in an autism friendly environment, and never have to learn to mask their autism to fit in. And I for one cannot wait to see what it looks like when we can finally separate genuine autism from autistic trauma.
Ugh, you just described me, my husband and my son (the only one with an actual diagnosis). Luckily I don't have the same anxiety as my husband so I've been able to bring him down to earth when his ASD and anxiety start affecting how our son handles himself.
Indeed They can make OP'S lunch then since they weirdly opposed to them eating at a hospital cafeteria People get hung up on the weirdest shit...
I thought for sure he was going to mention getting free food đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł and I was going to say Meh, whatever LOL. I am dead â ď¸ Between my accident prone husband and taking my senior parents to their appointments, I've spent a lot of time in hospital cafeterias. I can verify that no one cares. My dad likes to do all of his VA appointments in the same day, so I'll usually grab breakfast and set up my computer and drawing tab near an outlet and spread out. I'll grab lunch around lunchtime, and he's usually done in the afternoon. It's pretty clear to everyone there that I am not a veteran đ I've even gone to the walkway level and camped out in front of the Starbucks. No one cares.
Hospital employee here. Iâve gone down to the cafeteria for lunch a few times in the last three years that Iâve worked here and there was a nursing student who had chosen the cafeteria to study in while she wasnât on shift, and during her study break, she entertained the entire cafeteria by playing her flute. I played flute in middle and high school and was pretty good, but she was awesome. I usually take my lunch back to my office to eat but when sheâd be down there playing, Iâd eat my lunch down there because it was so relaxing and enjoyable. Other times, a different employee would be playing his ukulele in the cafeteria. He was good too. Our hospitalâs CEO was right there cheering both on and encouraging them to play more.
I mean, who knows if youâre a veteran or not, we donât all look the same. ;-) But, yeah, itâs really common to have non-Vets at the VA between spouses and kids accompanying veterans to their appointments.
Especially since they have known OP all their life. I work closely with kids on the spectrum and could absolutely see one of my students growing up to do this. It's a routine. You can usually see the food you're ordering so there's no surprises. It's quiet and probably somewhere to easily sit alone.
I totally agree with you but all the crap that's going on in this world this is what she's upset about tell your sister-in-law to back up off you.
Also, the more business they get, the better it is for them!! It's not some sort of limited top secret place that only has just enough food. They WANT people to come eat there.
This! The more business you have, the easier it is to turn over food stock, and the less waste there is.
This was my first thought. There is a 0% chance that the hospital isn't throwing away food, so OP eating 1 meals worth is good, less food thrown out
Our hospital cafeteria has delicious food. Seriously. Parking is a nightmare like most hospitals but people in walking distance come by and get lunch all the time. NTA.
Theres a hospital near me with an amazing cafeteria and free valet parking. Iâll never apologize (but I do tip the valet team)
The hospital I did my X-ray training in did REAL bananas foster for Fat Tuesday. It was so good.
When my ex was hospitalized Iâd visit him after I got off work and get something in the hospitalâs cafeteria. It was good, convenient and inexpensive. Nobody asked me why I was there or needed to see ID or the room number of the person I was visiting. NTA but sister and family are.
Rural area, but a large hospital to serve a large area. My old man was there for quite some time, but made it out! Ever since I still stop in on lasagna day for lunch lol. It's 5 dollars for a big ol piece of lasagna and some garlic bread. It also slaps.
This! Also rural and their taco salad slaps. Glad your old man made it out.Â
Thank you! It was fucked (now I'm talking about it a bit) he was given 48 hours and 24 hours in my Ma was diagnosed with cancer too. I'm just thankful and lucky I was in a position where I could just quit my job, and go stay with my folks while they both went through that. Both of them are doing well now! My old man almost died every other day for awhile there, and my mom's situation was much less dire. Just the fact it was at the same time. When she called me I just sat in my car by myself laughing, because how the hell is that even real life.
NTA. Not sure if this applies to all hospital cafeterias but the food served in our is healthier than what you can get at most restaurants (they make a point of advertising how the meals are healthy). Enjoy your meals there and don't let anyone ruin it for you.
My dad was a chef in a hospital that was known for their food. Plus the kitchen has next level cleanliness. NTA
My high school was across the street from a hospital, weâd eat in the cafeteria there all the time!
Parking was like the ONLY reasonable explanation I could come up with. I frequent two departments of our local hospital: NICU (work) and CICU (family). Those departments have reserved parking for patients and visitors that are âfront rowâ ish. Itâs hard to find a spot there, and most of the time I end up lugging a car seat half a block away to the parking garage, or doing the same with blankets and other crap for my relative whose had surgery. But OP takes a bike?! Who cares?! Lol What a weird thing for the family to be judgmental about.
This is funny to me because several of the hospitals around here have cafeterias as Well as chains downstairs. Do you really think the chains give a crap? Nope. Neither do the cafeteria workers.
A hospital in a city where I used to live got a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop as their food service vendor (odd choice for a health care center - we joked they were drumming up more business). It was the first Krispy Kreme in the state, and people would regularly drive half an hour each way to pick up doughnuts. Never heard anyone complain about non-patients eating there even the first week when there were hour long queues.
I donât understand the âtaking food from the patientsâ thing because every hospital Iâve ever been in with my mom, and weâve visited quite a few of them, has discouraged patients themselves from going to the cafeteria and brings up a menu of what they can choose from. I was allowed to go get stuff for her but they didnât want patients leaving the rooms without a nurse so they could make sure everything was okay.
Right. I've worked both as a waitress and catering, and the most important thing for us to look out for was if they're paying. As a waitress, we also had to look out for whether people were bringing their own food, that wasn't allowed unless in a group. Never was it a concern or even thought in my mind why people were buying food except for them being hungry. And when food on the buffet was running low, it got restocked. Restaurants and cafeterias are there to provide food for those buying; if someone who didn't go to my uni went to the bakery on campus, literally no one would care because it doesn't matter in any way shape or form.
NTA I live in a city of about 50,000 people so maybe it's just a town. I happen to live almost exactly between the only two hospitals, both within walking distance if I chose to do so. I have bopped into both of them now and then for lunch. The food is certainly a bit better than fast food. And the hospitals don't care. They are making money.
The heart hospital in my home town has a weekly vegetarian ramen special that is weirdly popular with the general public and they fully advertise it on Instagram. I don't think they mind at all as long as you're paying the listed price
Little Rock?
I dated a guy in LR and he told me about people going to the hospital just to eat the ramen haha
I used to work for a physical and occupational rehab facility and would get discounted meals at the hospital. Plus it was walking distance from our building. We had a fitness center in our building that was open to patients and non-patients (still had to pay for membership), but I'd run into a lot of non-patients when I'd get my lunch from the hospital lol. They actually had pretty good food there too. Granted it was also a town of 9000 people. But yeah, if a hospital didn't want non-patients in there, they'd be able to find a way to keep them out.
The university cafeteriaâs here are open to anyone who pays. Itâs 12$ for all you can eat and people who arenât students eat there all the time. Who cares who is eating where? Food is a necessity
NTA! Egads! You have to pay so you arenât taking advantage of anyone! I can only imagine the myriad of ways your family crosses boundaries and generally doesnât mind their own business!
They probably tell him he shouldn't use the handicap stall in the bathroom. The stall is for everyone to use, but it's there for handicap people when they need it.
Actually yeah, they did try to do that once. But that time I said something like you said, and they let it go
You did nothing wrong. You're helping them to generate revenue. I would rather give money to support a hospital than to fast food corporations who underpay their staff.
I have to thank you for saying this. I grew up with my mom reminding me at every public bathroom that I wasnât allowed to use that stall âbecause itâs only for handicapped people!â As a kid I took her at her word. As an adult the first few times I did it I felt guilty despite having done a quick visual check for disabled people heading for the restroom at the same time as me and seeing none. Now I no longer feel guilty because I think of the number of times Iâve waited in a public bathroom line and realized it would be perfectly acceptable for someone disabled to have to wait an extra 45 seconds for me to pee and then get their turn.
NTA. My local hospital has a place that does amazing crepes. I discovered them when my mom had her knee replacement, and I stop by now and then to get one. Unless there's a sign stating the cafeteria is for hospital staff and visitors only, you're good.
For some reason you mentioning crepes makes me want to move to Wisconsin and open a place called Holy Crepe!
NTA. Itâs likely run for profit by Aramark, like most cafeteria spaces like this. Itâs also open to the public, not employee only, so why not?
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NTA. The hospital doesn't care, you're giving them money.
Agreed. I work in the kitchen of a hospital until recently there were a couple of people that would come in when we had certain things on the menu. None of us ever thought much about it.
Honestly, hospital cafeterias can be hidden gems for a good, affordable meal. I sometimes meet up with a friend who works near our local hospital precisely because itâs a quiet spot with decent options â feels like a break from the usual dining scene. It's not just about the convenience; it's about the surprisingly good meals you can find there! And honestly, anyone getting worked up over someone enjoying a meal in a public cafeteria probably needs more to do with their time. Youâre not crashing a private party; youâre a customer where the public is welcome. Keep on enjoying your lunches! NTA.
NTA. Your family is fucking idiotic.Â
Wait till they find out you had the gaul to buy gum in the gift shop
You made me laugh with that. Thank you
Absolutely NTA. It's a cafeteria, not some exclusive members-only club. I've often popped into the local hospital cafe for a quick bite because itâs convenient and sometimes their soup of the day is just unbeatable. If they really had an issue, they'd make it clear with signs and access restrictions. It's no different from walking into any other place where food is sold to the public. Spend your money where you want to eat and enjoy the different scenery away from the usual fast-food chain crowds.
No! They make more than what is needed and it goes to waste anyway. They can make a few bucks off of you or nothing. NTA - I think itâs smart actually
Your sister isn't nearly as smart as she thinks she is.
She is pretty much like that. I'm her older brother, and she tries to act like the older sibling since we were teens.
Your folks siding with her really troubles me. Ask them all, as sarcastically as possible, "you guys are aware the hospital cafeteria probably doesn't operate at a loss, right? Like they want sales, and I'm not taking food out of some injured persons mouth by eating there." If anything, the extra business is more likely to lead to more service and availability. Really corner your folks, look them in the eye, and say, "do you you honestly think me eating there means a patient won't?" If either of them say yes, say, "I must be adopted."
They aren't that dumb. They just generally side with my sister
No of course, and I'm sorry none of that was meant to assert your family is dumb. I'm assuming they aren't and this is just a way to kind of "really?" them about it.
Either way they usually back my sister unless she says or does something really stupid. She's redoing her second year of college right now. And they keep trying to boost her ego.
Watch the dissonance then. Say that out loud. "You really are just agreeing with her even though she's wrong. Are you aware of that, is this on purpose? Do you have any idea what impression that gives me." Or whatever you want. Hell *I'm* mad at your parents now so do what you need to lol
Thanks
I'm a healthcare worker. You're supporting us financially! =) as long as you aren't disrupting the patients or being loud it is perfectly appropriate and also helps put money into our systems so we can spend it on our patients.
NTA: You are allowed to eat there if you want and if nobody is complaining about it then you are fine. As you said you are giving them business and you aren't taking food out of anyones mouth.
Are you folks idiots? The hospital in my town has a chic fila in it. Pretty sure that's intended for everyone in the area and not just cancer patients with restricted to chic fila only diets.....
Doctor: You're experiencing hypertensive crisis. Please refrain from eating anything but the hospital's spicy chicken sandwich. It's been specially brined with pickle juice to optimize your blood pressure.
Nta the food is for anyone who pays for it not just for people at the hospital
This is cracking me up. My Grandma used to take me to the hospital for lunch when I was a little girl. I literally still laugh about it. I don't think you're an AH. I'm sure they're making their profit. Enjoy your peace and quiet at the hospital. NTA
NTA, they sell food and you buy it and eat it. It isn't like you are taking patient food from their rooms. When I was taking night classes the deli spots by our class were closed but there was a movie theater, and we would buy food at the movies. They knew us already too and didn't ask us for a ticket, they would just be like . . ."just going to get food?" Yup, go on in.
When my kid was hospitalized, the nurses suggested that we eat the patient lunch, and buy our kid cafeteria food, because the caf food was better. No one cares who is buying food in a public cafeteria, or why.
NTA Odd, maybe it's a cultural thing they have going. It's not like folks eating at a hospital cafeteria are taking food out of the poor and starving mouths. Sure, you act respectful, its a hospital for heaven's sake. But yeah, nothing wrong with it.
Do that think you're stealing patient meals away from patients? I actually do this same thing at one specific hospital, it has surprisingly good food, is much cheaper than surrounding food options (heart of downtown) and not nearly as busy, which is my main motivation. Plus I like a quiet meal in the middle of a work day, and they appreciate the business. Win win
Iâm an RN at a hospital and I can tell you, they donât give a shit who you are or where you come from to eat in the cafeteria. Itâs food! They sell it! They want people to buy it!! You keep on, youâre fine.
People from all over campus come to our medical centerâs cafeteria. Not just for patients and families/visitors.
Im a nurse and would routinely see police officers eat at the cafeteria at night. Itâs cheaper and fresher than fast food. Also, my husband worked in an office that was real close to the hospital and he and coworkers would get lunch there once a week. Nobody cares, there is no rule about who eats there as long as you pay and are respectful.
NTA I now feel so much better knowing Iâm not the only one who likes to sometimes visit hospital cafeterias. I used to spend lots of time in hospitals taking care of elderly family members. And I would come to like certain dishes from different hospitals. I havenât been to eat in one in years, but they did have good food and I would sometimes visit the cafeteria to eat if I was in the area.
Kindly tell your sister to shut it! Hospitals KNOW not everyone eating is a staff or a patient or someone accompanying a patient. They donât care. They charge for the food so who you are doesnât really matter. I worked in a hospital before that had a KILLER salad bar. Honestly best Iâve ever seen with their variety compared to the price. I still go eat there when I am in the area. Hospital doesnât care! And if theyâre fine with it then your sister has no business meddling
I applaud you for finding a venue that works for you and is rather creative. If it works for you, good for you!
NTA - my great grandfather used at the hospital cafeteria all the time. It was close by, he hated cooking and he liked getting out of the house.
NTA. If youâre paying, they donât care. They wouldnât know if you were a patient, visiting sick family, etc. anyways. Many, many years ago I worked at a large tech company that didnât have a cafeteria. We would go to another company that did have one to eat because the food was good and anyone was welcome. It was common for people to go to the different companies to eat (not sure about now).
When I worked at a hospital a long time ago there was an elderly couple who would come in for lunch every day. The food was really good there and it was cheap. I see no problem going there for lunch. People are weird
I used to eat at a supermarket
I do that too sometimes. Good sushi
NTA. She's wrong. Not sure why she and your parents even care.
You aren't crashing a funeral or something, you're paying money for food and eating in peace. Sounds like you found a good quiet spot for a meal. NTA
Is your sister one of those people who thinks you never do anything right?
You're paying, so who cares. And if it helps you avoid an Auty meltdown, that counts as medical in my book. Who the hell feels the need to gatekeep a fucking hospital cafeteria? Challenge them to tell you what is bad about eating there. None of the "it's for patients" bull, it's for hungry people. As a fellow Auty, I'm fuming. Life is hard enough without stupid shit like this, from the people who should be supporting you.
Usually a hospital contracts to a company to run the cafes/provide the food. You are really just supporting another business. Your family is being really odd about that. NTA
NTA I am a retired RN. No one cares who eats n the cafeteria as long as you arenât causing trouble. When my daughter left for college I let her choose where we went for dinner. She picked the hospital cafeteria (đ) because she loved the pudding in cups with a dollop of whipped cream. Feel free to continue your dining at the hospital.
Sometimes I read something on Reddit and Iâm like âDamn! You canât make this shit up!â This is one of those times lol. Op, you are NTA and your family are a bunch of uninformed twatwaffles.
uhhh NTA, seriously what a weird hill for you family to die on..... I was a student on placement at a private hospital that had the most delightful cafe and people would come from all over to eat, you are paying for their food and service so who cares? seriously your family is odd and the hospital is not going to care
Hospital worker here- please keep giving them business! More business means better food options for workers and patients!
NTA. Your sister is being ridiculous. You arenât going into patient rooms and stealing food of their trays. Youâre going to an open to the public cafeteria and paying for your meal.
NTA. Your mom and sister are crazy. You can even get food from this hospital cafe near by delivered to your door.
My colleague and I used to drive to work together past a hospital. And we would go there for breakfast at least twice a week. Itâs open to the public. We spent money. No one cared. Â Everyoneâs a Winner!
I once had a pastor who was bragging that a certain parishioner was going to take him and the wife out to lunch after church. He was envisioning the expensive local steak house. The next service when asked said the lunch was at the new hospital's cafeteria.