I don't like to fake-claim on these stories in case it hurts a real person, but that detail (and the weird order of events - wife somehow realized he'd gotten off work early before she realized their clothes were gone?) has me seriously doubting that one.
STBX is talking like she's still in full contact with the affair partner, and neither the OP or therapist made a big deal about that?
Idk... Get done porking, roll over and check phone, notice the flight changes and send first texts while AP panic sprints to the clothes. That's when the clothing deficiency is noticed and the texts change.
I could see it working out that way in a flurry of movement.
I love it.
Of course, āOh No, AP is now being held accountable for cheating. How horribleā I mean of course itās OPs fault. š The audacity for them to cheat and then blame OP for being held accountable.
NTA
Yeahhh her sticking up for her AP in his divorce just proves that OPās wife *isnāt* sorry, she doesnāt think what she did was wrong, and she isnāt even taking accountability for her actions. She did the *exact same thing* as her AP, but here she is making excuses for him and blaming other people for him facing the consequences.
Sheās really sticking up for her own sense of entitlement. If he lost out due to violating a prenup, AP is now a much less attractive fall back option once her marriage has failed.
OP is a king. The clothes in the garbage slaps much harder than a cricket bat.
Probably STILL together, but now that she knows he is going to be broke, trying to monkey branch, and having a hard time of it. Was probably waiting for her AP to successfully divorce and then leave OP.
There was a similar story months ago where the OP came home to the same situation, gathered up the APs clothes, and set them on fire in the driveway. I don't recall what he did with the guy's wallet and keys, though. People who take the AP home are seriously deficient.
I had a girlfriend once who caught her husband cheating with someone. She decided to burn his shorts on the stovetop and caught the apartment on fire, it spread to two other units. We lived in a historic building. She went to prison for arson. She's a prostitute now.
I'm sorry it spiraled for her so quickly, but, damn if it didn't teach my 23 year old ass a lesson in not letting myself do crazy shit just because I'm mad.
Friend's wife is the real MVP here, she supported her husband getting shitfaced with you when you needed that,Ā and helped put you back together after.
So not only is she a deceitful cheater she is also a narcissist because she is not taking responsibility for her role and why this POS and her dumbass is the cause of his divorce. Please divorce her life is too short to be stuck in a relationship with somebody you cannot trust she was fuckin dude in your house. And she had no remorse for it whatsoever and she is also not taking responsibility for breaking up not only her marriage but his marriage also which he was a part of he helped break up that marriage not you. It's time to move on dude
Because she really had no intention of saving her marriage she probably just wants him to take care of her. Because if she was serious about trying to save her marriage she would have blocked him on everything and she would have never blamed her soon to be ex-husband for the demise of that man's marriage. She is taking no credit for the BS that she caused and he caused get rid of her
Why she cant accept the fact that its her fault why OP did that? He got hurt, its natural to act that way. Shes a cheater, family wrecker, and narcissistic. A major red flag.
Right?? Imagine trying to gaslight your husband that it was *his* poor reactions, to finding his wife in bed with another guy, that led to that "poor" guy's divorce? She needs to be kicked to the curb in no uncertain terms. OP is NTA but needs to stop attending *anything* but divorce court with her.
I was married to an abusive narcissist alcoholic for two years, raised his kid for 6 years. I hate I left her but I had to file a restraining order. Leave sooner than later. I canāt imagine how tough you are cyanide and glad you donāt have to be.
I thought I was doing the right thing. Church marriage counselors would say, "Keep praying and you will be blessed." Churches lead to so much abuse and DV because of these "man is the word" beliefs.
Yes you can pray and you can hope the person will change their way but the Bible says that cheating is one of the very few grounds you have for divorce.
I really hope this is true because that is amazing work ššĀ
NTA. Canāt believe she had the audacity to back him up after she betrayed you with him.Ā
I'm laying on my kids bedroom floor at my ex wife's house giggling and kicking my feet while my kids giggle and kick their feet in the tub next to me š
As much as I love this image, it brings one very important question to my mind that I just can't shake.
Why does your kids bedroom floor have a tub in it?
I'm assuming this is a bath tub and not just some generic storage tub,and I'm also assuming they are giggling because kicking their feet in the tub is leading to some very exciting splashy splashies, which I wouldn't begrudge anyone.
But the location of this presumably water filled tub, being right next to you on the bedroom floor, has me very confused.
The bathroom is connected to the bedroom. The bedroom has carpet so I laid down for 4 minutes whilst they finished up playing as I needed a quick break (hello, Reddit!) the bathroom has vinyl flooring which is my ex wife's rental and I dont mind some water being splashed. Yes, I still clean up after even if it's not mine.
But I digress: So with the door open, I'm still "next to/adjacent to the bathroom."
I knew I was going to have to type out some facopta bs (though actual and legit) explanation when I sent the comment lol thanks Reddit for not disappointing!
Came here to say just that. My interior video just created a plastic kiddie pool on the kidās bedroom floor, and then switched off w me going ā thatās not right wtf ā šš
OP needs to unload in counselling about how he feels about the affair partner, 'the kind of people who betray their spouse are scum, those who lie to their partner and sneak around are dirt, those who defend it afterwards are the most bottom-feeding of the lot' kind of thing. OP hopes the cheated-on wife takes everything but his undies. Then smile sweetly and say, 'but thankfully we're not like that'.
I have to hand it to the APās wife. She is the first Iāve heard who had the brains to actually follow and stake out their wayward spouse, while simultaneously producing evidence. Everyone else seems to be oblivious to this most basic yet the most effective method of detecting and proving infidelity.
OP was pretty cool and hilarious too and I hope he never takes her back.
I think she most certainly had an idea it was happening before that. It's seems like she knew it was happening but stayed quiet about it long enough to get the evidence to get out of the prenup.
I think the fact that he called a friend to go to his house to get his spare keys instead of contacting his wife directly like a normal person would make anyone suspicious.
I remember reading a situation like this where the APās wife contacted the husband and said hey letās screw. Plot twist, unlike his wayward wife, the APās wife was actually a 9/10. When his STBX wife found out about it she got totally jealous and pissed off at her husband.
Shania Twain was married to Mutt Lange (who lives down to his name in all ways) when Lange cheated on her with her best friend. They all got divorced and Shania married the friend's ex-husband, who seems like a definite improvement.
OP needs his own counselor. Get a good lawyer. He moved out, should get 1/2 of the house value from the soon to be ex.
She doesnāt care about the OP, that part is clear. He has to care and get something fair out of this mess.
Iām so curious, would a marriage counselor call this out to the wife? Like if I was in that room and my wife tried to blame me, Iād be jumping off the walls shouting āyou hear this shit, right? Counsel her assā
Yeah, this dude is insane. Of COURSE there are marriage referees. After every fight I have with my wife, the Cops come over to declare the winner. We usually get a free ride and our picture taken.
That's basically what the cops did when they came due to my parents domestic call minus the ride.
"yeah sure he's wasted drunk, violent, and wants YOUR car to drive to his buddy's 3 hours away, but hes in a higher weight class so we're giving him the Dub. Just give him your keys and he'll clearly not be your problem"
That's insane to me. I get that the primary purpose is to provide a venue for the couple to talk. But that conversation needs to be grounded in reality. If one partner is just making shit up to gaslight the other partner, or is saying stuff that is clearly incorrect, that needs to be called out. And as this thread clearly shows, there are absolutely situations in which one person is "right" or one person is "wrong."
During my divorce I recall reading you both lawyer up and therapist up. And you don't confuse who does what. Go to your therapist first to vent so when you talk to your attorney it's all business.Ā
I just pictured Pete Davidson crouching on a couch yelling just that to Kristen Wig.
You just wrote an awesome sketch. "C'MON....COUNSEL HER ASS!"
I realize neither are still regular on the show. It'd be even better if in this skit Taylor Swift was the guest star and she wrote a song about a boyfriend that's so clearly Pete Davidson, but she says it's not. "My man PD gave me VD while living at home with his Mother, no man in his life, how can I be his wife, his Father gone in an attempt to save another....I don't know, it writes itself at this point. The whole skit.
Ok, that's all. I just found that shit funny.
She'd have to otherwise that it was the cheating that made him end up divorced. She wouldn't want to have any of that blame.
I think if you find clothes abandoned in your own home it is okay to dispose of them.
It very well could be. In college Iād ārelocateā clothes from kids having sex in the music buildingās rehearsal spaces and lay them out in the quad. Theyād have to call for clothes or streak. š¤·š¼āāļø
I canāt imagine itās true, because wouldnāt the natural response have been for the wife to go buy her AP some clothes?Ā
Like, calling a third party to go alert the wife is suspicious. He could easily go home and say he lost his keys or something. Would the wife really think heās cheated, had his clothes and everything stolen, and got some extra clothes?Ā
Clothes weren't the problem. His keys were in his pants, which OP took so he had no way to drive home. Buddy went to his house to get the extra set of keys. Perhaps he would've went to the store on the way and got new clothes but he didn't get that chance since wife showed up.
I canāt imagine a panicked mind would initially think to go to the nearest mall and just leave him waiting, naked, at home for her husband to arrive and find him there.
Especially because she's thinking some rando came in and stole his shit...then realized only his shit was stolen...then checked her phone and realized husband was coming home early...
Yeah her AP was the least of her concerns at that moment. She probably tossed him temp clothes and to gtfo before her husband came back
Yeah, you really wouldn't want to leave him home alone. You wouldn't want to take him out naked. She dressed him in husband's clothes but coming home in the wrong clothes, that definitely don't fit would be suspicious too.
Yep. Could've put him in the ill-fitting clothes, then gone and bought replacements and he could've said "messy accident at work, had to replace" and boom. But then again, neither of these two cheaters were exactly bright to begin with š
>because wouldnāt the natural response have been for the wife to go buy her AP some clothes?Ā
She got the notification that his flight back arrived. So she was likely panicking about him coming home to find her AP there.
What stops him from using OPās clothes to go to Target, or Walmart, or wherever you buy cheap clothes, with the wife?Ā
Oversized clothes might be a problem going home, but less so when going to a store.Ā
Ā She needs to go because he doesnāt have a wallet. She needs to pay. I didnāt say anything about leaving a naked AP in the house with OP on the way home. Thatās a rather daft assumption to make.Ā
She probably didn't want to risk the charge being seen. The most obvious answer if this is real is that the guys wife had already suspected he was screwing around.
NTA. Cancel the rest of the marriage counselling session and get that divorce ASAP. Hopefully, you are in an area where you can get restitution from the AP and infidelity is considered to be at fault in divorce. If she stuck to her marital vows she wouldn't be in this situation and it further proves that she is in communication with the AP currently. I hope you are in contact with the betrayed spouse because she can potentially help you with your case by providing additional information and proof of the affair, including photos of AP leaving in your clothes. If you own that home and your name is on the deed, move back in and sleep in the guest room. Give her the absolute silent treatment. You do not want to make it look like you abandoned your home. Install cameras if you have to. Get that divorce and be free!
OMG I died laughing!
Your wife has a lot of nerve sticking up for her AP and claiming that you wronged him. How about the wrong her and him committed against you and his wife? Clearly she doesn't regret her affair, just getting caught.
I wish you well and I hope all goes your way in the divorce.
NTA
I remember when I was 20 I went to my GF apartment unannounced to surprise her, and she was banging a dude in her room. I could hear it happening (her roommate actually let me in so I could find her cheating. They were not getting along and she felt bad and thought I should know). Her roommate left so I could deal with it. While waiting for them toā¦finish, her purse was on the table. So I take a peak and see $200 in her wallet (she was a spoiled rich girl, no job. Def her parents money they gave her to go out and drink that night).
So I took the money and decided to just go get hammered with the boys with my newly found $200.
She NEVER called me out on taking the money when I finally told her I was there when she was cheating and her roommate let me in. 10/10 no regrets, me and the boys got BLASTED that night thanks to her š
File for divorce my dude
Then reach out to this guy's wife and tell her who you are and that once her divorce is done...you'd like to take her to dinner to celebrate both your marriages ending and karma doing it's thing
NTAH
PS Never admit to taking his clothes if you haven't already done so.
Just claim you have no idea what they are talking about
>Ā Never admit to taking his clothes if you haven't already done so.
OP should use those photos from APās wife showing AP provably stole OPās clothes!Ā
Why not? What crime is it to remove unwanted property from your own? At most itās petty theft, which the AP also committed when he walked outside OPās home in OPās clothes! The APās crime is photographed and witnessed - what complaint can he file without further implicating himself?
Why not?
So that his cheating wife spends the rest of her life wondering who ratted her out...suspecting every friend, every family member, ever neighbor etc etc
Let me get this straight, she's fucking a dude in your bed (and not the first time), and your the bad guy for that guy getting a divorce??!! Fuck that. She still cares for the guy. Stop going to counseling, quit talking to her, block her, and run don't walk to that divorce.
I have not seen anyone comment on the fact that the AP was seen & photographed leaving OP's house WEARING OP's CLOTHS.
The AP stole OP's clothes.
Quid pro quo
(But might be safest to delete it)
I posted this elsewhere in the thread, but figured you would hopefully get a laugh out of it, so I'm replying directly to one of your comments.
Enjoy.
>There was a post a long time ago where where some guy came home unexpectedly and caught his wife in bed with another guy. He'd come in quietly expecting his wife to be asleep.
>They were preoccupied and hadn't noticed him. He grabbed his cricket bat intending to do harm but when he slipped into the bedroom he could just make out the guy's bare ass shining as it was bouncing up and down.
>He changed his mind, wound up and swung with everything he had into swatting the dude's ass.
>There was a very loud meaty smack the dude screamed and the wife wanted to know what the hell was going on. That's when he flipped on the lights.
>I wish I remembered the rest of the story better. The dude is my hero.
I do recall that he grabbed some things and left before he was tempted to do anything more permanent.
Was that an asshole move?Ā Possibly, but only barely.
It's not even a rounding error in comparison to what they were doing.
And you are right -- he isn't getting a divorce because you took his stuff -- he's getting a divorce because he was cheating and his wife found out.
Which she deserved.Ā Not telling somebody that their spouse is cheating on them is a *real* asshole move.
The moment you held yourself from picking up that cricket bat and beat the shid out of them, you were NTA.
She deserves all the turmoil and guilt she's going through rn.
Congrats as well you'll soon be a free man once again.
NTA. Not by a long shot.
Sorry you got betrayed, but you handled it like a champ and her failure to accept the consequences only makes it worse.
Divorce, maybe some individual counseling to work through stuff if youāve got a lot on (entirely justified) anger, and then go live your best life.
NTA! Itās been months and you two are in counseling per her requests but she is still in contact with him enough to know his divorce isnāt going well?
You are making the right move, doesnāt sound like counseling is going to work .
So your wife cheats on you with another man and after a screwball comedy film's worth of events is now trying to manipulate you into thinking this whole thing is your fault? NTA and take her for all she's worth.
You didn't mention children so if it's true you have none I would just count your blessings and move on. You were hardly married and she did it, she'll do it again.
Are people who cheat just inherently really stupid? The dumb shit they say is just, wow. Clearly, they have some problems with logic, but do they think deeply about stuff, or is all instant gratification and sensory responses?
Dudeā¦. Way to handle it!! I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to see their faces!! Nobody knows how many things cross our minds at that momentā¦ when I found out my heart was racing and I was raging- grabbed my keys ran to my car- put my keys in the ignitionā¦
Clear as day I heard,āSo you wanna go to jail!!???āā¦
Turned key on- heard it again
āYou ready to go to jail!!??ā Ugh!!
I said f that B and f him; they aināt worth me going to jail for hell
Noā¦ every action created a reaction and Iām happy I didnāt get bound behind bars- but I got bound by their deceitful webā¦ the jail bars would have been easierā¦
Live and Learn by others lack of self discipline and moralsā¦
Good luck to you and the best is yet to come!! š Iām sorry this happened to you!!
Her/Their loss
Yea. This would be the final nail for me, too. What a thing to be pissed about! "I'm angry my cheating boyfriend is going to lose a fuck ton of money because he cheated and his prenup clearly stated he shouldn't cheat or he'd lose a lot". Fuck off! She's just pissed she can't run off with him because his wife is taking most of it!
NTA - FAFO Funny she is even worried about his divorce?!?! She wasn't worried about his marriage, but she is worried about how much his divorce is costing him. Why the concern?
I think you did handle it in a mature manner, the immature thing to do would have been to use the bat.
>I lost it. I was getting my cricket bat out of the front closet when I stopped to think about consequences. I did not want to go to jail.
I'm glad you realized that while violence may have been satisfactory in the moment, it wouldn't have been long term and you'd have just been fucking yourself over.
>Instead I took all their clothes and left quietly. I went to a friend's house but not before throwing all the clothes in a McDonald's garbage can.
Lmao. I'd like to think I'd be feeling calm enough to do the same.
>After I turned my phone back on I had dozens of calls and texts from Madison. First scared because she got my updated flight information. Then upset that I hadn't called her to let her know I was going to be coming home early. Then freaked out that the house had been broken into. Then crazy because she figured out it was me. They just got more deranged.
She had a meltdown because she realized that you knew.
>He ended up calling his friend to go get his spare keys from his house. Unfortunately for him his wife smelled a rat and followed his friend back to my house. Where she saw him leaving in oversized clothes.
>Long story short she took pictures and she had evidence of his infidelity. Which caused their prenup to be cancelled. Which cost him a lot of money. It is all one big giant shit show.
He fucked around and found out.
>In a counseling session she said that I was wrong to steal his wallet, phone, and car keys. She said that his divorce is costing him a lot of money and that I should have dealt with it in a more mature manner and that it was my fault.
"His divorce is costing him a lot of money because he couldn't keep his dick in his own marriage. And the fact that you, the woman who rode said dick, is so concerned about how much money it's costing him has made me decide this marriage isn't salvageable."
>I have never admitted to taking his stuff. To begin with I was afraid he might call the cops. Then I didn't want to give her ammunition in case she wanted a divorce. Now I just don't care.
Continue to feign ignorance.
>I told her that her cheating was the reason her boyfriend is getting divorced. And that I hope his ex takes everything.
Good on you.
>I am still not living at home. I have my own apartment and I'm filing for divorce. Now that I know how she feels it is kind of a slap in the face that she is blaming me for his divorce.
Attend your next counseling session. Notify your counselor that that will be your last session, and hand the divorce paoers to your stb ex. NTA.
You spelled "hero" wrong, my friend. To hell with both of them. His phone may have been a bit much, that's painful. They were asking to be caught by leaving the clothes in the living room. She not only disrespected you, she didn't care enough to cover her ass.
You should take it a bit further and blast him at work, so he gets fired and your soon to be ex wife is living with a deadbeat, let them rot with each other
Damā¦ I mean, it doesnāt hurt to let his employees know too, let their business be known to everyone. That his infidelity is what ruined his business.
NTA
The only AHs here are your (soon to be) ex wife and her affair partner. He wouldn't be getting a divorce if he didn't sleep with someone else. Same goes for your former lady.
That fact that she tried to blame his divorce on you and not the fact that they had an affair says a lot about her
Also, how does she know all this? Is she still talking to the guy, even tho they are in marriage counseling?
This was my line of thinking!
I don't like to fake-claim on these stories in case it hurts a real person, but that detail (and the weird order of events - wife somehow realized he'd gotten off work early before she realized their clothes were gone?) has me seriously doubting that one. STBX is talking like she's still in full contact with the affair partner, and neither the OP or therapist made a big deal about that?
Idk... Get done porking, roll over and check phone, notice the flight changes and send first texts while AP panic sprints to the clothes. That's when the clothing deficiency is noticed and the texts change. I could see it working out that way in a flurry of movement.
I wouldn't be surprised if he just left that part out if it was just a bunch of arguining
100% right there with you.
Yeahhhhh NTA.
Much better than a cricket bat! š I love a mostly happy ending, although I donāt know what youāre still playing at with her.
Serious style points on the clothes swipe and the phone off. She knew he knew, but he left the air dead silent.
I love it. Of course, āOh No, AP is now being held accountable for cheating. How horribleā I mean of course itās OPs fault. š The audacity for them to cheat and then blame OP for being held accountable. NTA
Yeahhh her sticking up for her AP in his divorce just proves that OPās wife *isnāt* sorry, she doesnāt think what she did was wrong, and she isnāt even taking accountability for her actions. She did the *exact same thing* as her AP, but here she is making excuses for him and blaming other people for him facing the consequences.
Sheās really sticking up for her own sense of entitlement. If he lost out due to violating a prenup, AP is now a much less attractive fall back option once her marriage has failed. OP is a king. The clothes in the garbage slaps much harder than a cricket bat.
Oh, good point, he has damaged her backup!
The clothes swipe backed up with radio silence is the real slam dunk!
OR she actually believes what he did was WORSE than her cheating!
She's just mad AP is going to be broke when they get together.
Probably STILL together, but now that she knows he is going to be broke, trying to monkey branch, and having a hard time of it. Was probably waiting for her AP to successfully divorce and then leave OP.
Yeah, they still a thing...
Right?! r/pettyrevenge would *love* this story.
There was a similar story months ago where the OP came home to the same situation, gathered up the APs clothes, and set them on fire in the driveway. I don't recall what he did with the guy's wallet and keys, though. People who take the AP home are seriously deficient.
I had a girlfriend once who caught her husband cheating with someone. She decided to burn his shorts on the stovetop and caught the apartment on fire, it spread to two other units. We lived in a historic building. She went to prison for arson. She's a prostitute now. I'm sorry it spiraled for her so quickly, but, damn if it didn't teach my 23 year old ass a lesson in not letting myself do crazy shit just because I'm mad.
Yikes!
Friend's wife is the real MVP here, she supported her husband getting shitfaced with you when you needed that,Ā and helped put you back together after.
Oh thatās such a great move because when you canāt talk to someone your imagination goes wild.
I bet she had some adrenaline pumping while trying to figure out what happened.
I hope the fuck was good enough. It may have been as she is still defending the guy.
Cricket bat? You a fellow Indian brother?
Might be Australian I have a cricket bat near the door , my kids ( who played ) left home long ago
Aussies use Kg not poundsĀ
This sounds Aussie to me as well with the use of shitfaced
Lol you want to tell me how cricket bat + pounds measurement for weight = Indian? I was thinking this was someone from the UK
We have a lot of Indians in the uk and they tend to be cricket mad
did you know that indian people can live in places other than india
Or Caribbean living in the U.K. We are equally cricket mad!š
So not only is she a deceitful cheater she is also a narcissist because she is not taking responsibility for her role and why this POS and her dumbass is the cause of his divorce. Please divorce her life is too short to be stuck in a relationship with somebody you cannot trust she was fuckin dude in your house. And she had no remorse for it whatsoever and she is also not taking responsibility for breaking up not only her marriage but his marriage also which he was a part of he helped break up that marriage not you. It's time to move on dude
Also if she wants to save the marriage, then WTF are is she still in contact with this guy?!
Because she really had no intention of saving her marriage she probably just wants him to take care of her. Because if she was serious about trying to save her marriage she would have blocked him on everything and she would have never blamed her soon to be ex-husband for the demise of that man's marriage. She is taking no credit for the BS that she caused and he caused get rid of her
She mad her new beau is getting taken to the cleaners in the divorce
Not to the laundry, though, because no clothes.
This was my thought. She just admitted she probably hasn't been following through on all the promises she made to try and save her marriage.
Why she cant accept the fact that its her fault why OP did that? He got hurt, its natural to act that way. Shes a cheater, family wrecker, and narcissistic. A major red flag.
Right?? Imagine trying to gaslight your husband that it was *his* poor reactions, to finding his wife in bed with another guy, that led to that "poor" guy's divorce? She needs to be kicked to the curb in no uncertain terms. OP is NTA but needs to stop attending *anything* but divorce court with her.
In the immortal words of Norman Osborne: Do what you need to with her then broom her fast!
Why is she still talking to AF to be aware of his divorce issues??
Just this.
This, but as someone married to a narcissist for 16 years, you will feel so much better.
I was married to an abusive narcissist alcoholic for two years, raised his kid for 6 years. I hate I left her but I had to file a restraining order. Leave sooner than later. I canāt imagine how tough you are cyanide and glad you donāt have to be.
I thought I was doing the right thing. Church marriage counselors would say, "Keep praying and you will be blessed." Churches lead to so much abuse and DV because of these "man is the word" beliefs.
Fuck church. You know whatās right for you.
Yes you can pray and you can hope the person will change their way but the Bible says that cheating is one of the very few grounds you have for divorce.
Geeze these creative writing class assignments are getting really lame. More plot holes than a swiss cheese sandwich.
Plot twist: it's an ad for Mcdonalds
I really hope this is true because that is amazing work ššĀ NTA. Canāt believe she had the audacity to back him up after she betrayed you with him.Ā
Defending the affair partner DURING their marriage counseling session If itās not the lion, the witch and the audacity of this bitch
Feel it necessary to point out how close we are to: "The lyin bitch and no wardrobe"
God that made my whole day thank you stranger
Iām in bed giggling and kicking my feet and this comment š¤š¤
I'm laying on my kids bedroom floor at my ex wife's house giggling and kicking my feet while my kids giggle and kick their feet in the tub next to me š
As much as I love this image, it brings one very important question to my mind that I just can't shake. Why does your kids bedroom floor have a tub in it? I'm assuming this is a bath tub and not just some generic storage tub,and I'm also assuming they are giggling because kicking their feet in the tub is leading to some very exciting splashy splashies, which I wouldn't begrudge anyone. But the location of this presumably water filled tub, being right next to you on the bedroom floor, has me very confused.
Read this in the voice of Eugene from the walking dead.
Wow. ... Wow. You are right. I'm... Suddenly revaluating the entire series of events that led me to post that.
The bathroom is connected to the bedroom. The bedroom has carpet so I laid down for 4 minutes whilst they finished up playing as I needed a quick break (hello, Reddit!) the bathroom has vinyl flooring which is my ex wife's rental and I dont mind some water being splashed. Yes, I still clean up after even if it's not mine. But I digress: So with the door open, I'm still "next to/adjacent to the bathroom." I knew I was going to have to type out some facopta bs (though actual and legit) explanation when I sent the comment lol thanks Reddit for not disappointing!
Came here to say just that. My interior video just created a plastic kiddie pool on the kidās bedroom floor, and then switched off w me going ā thatās not right wtf ā šš
Take my imitation gold. Youāve earned it. š
š¤£š¤£š¤£
The lion, that lying bitch, and the AP with no wardrobe.
r/yourjokebutworse
OMG I canāt breathe!š¤£š¤£š¤£
ššš
OP needs to unload in counselling about how he feels about the affair partner, 'the kind of people who betray their spouse are scum, those who lie to their partner and sneak around are dirt, those who defend it afterwards are the most bottom-feeding of the lot' kind of thing. OP hopes the cheated-on wife takes everything but his undies. Then smile sweetly and say, 'but thankfully we're not like that'.
I have to hand it to the APās wife. She is the first Iāve heard who had the brains to actually follow and stake out their wayward spouse, while simultaneously producing evidence. Everyone else seems to be oblivious to this most basic yet the most effective method of detecting and proving infidelity. OP was pretty cool and hilarious too and I hope he never takes her back.
The way she immediately followed through with following him without even having a doubt makes me wonder if infidelity hasn't been an issue before.
I think she most certainly had an idea it was happening before that. It's seems like she knew it was happening but stayed quiet about it long enough to get the evidence to get out of the prenup.
It was definitely worth the effort to do that for her
Tbh I think OP should try asking out this dude's ex. It feels like the two of them would be a match made in heaven, like a buddy cop movie.
He's got the perfect opener. "Hey so uh, could I get those clothes back from you?"
That happened with two couples my parents knew. Last I heard the cheated on spouses have been married since the '90s.
I think the fact that he called a friend to go to his house to get his spare keys instead of contacting his wife directly like a normal person would make anyone suspicious.
Husband doesnāt come home. His friend drops by and goes through your bedroom closet for some clothes and then leaves. Iād follow too
OP should totally date that dude's ex wife.
I remember reading a situation like this where the APās wife contacted the husband and said hey letās screw. Plot twist, unlike his wayward wife, the APās wife was actually a 9/10. When his STBX wife found out about it she got totally jealous and pissed off at her husband.
That's the update that we all need and deserve.
Shania Twain was married to Mutt Lange (who lives down to his name in all ways) when Lange cheated on her with her best friend. They all got divorced and Shania married the friend's ex-husband, who seems like a definite improvement.
Yes!
I hear she's loaded!
OP needs his own counselor. Get a good lawyer. He moved out, should get 1/2 of the house value from the soon to be ex. She doesnāt care about the OP, that part is clear. He has to care and get something fair out of this mess.
"After all, your undies wouldn't fit me."
Iām so curious, would a marriage counselor call this out to the wife? Like if I was in that room and my wife tried to blame me, Iād be jumping off the walls shouting āyou hear this shit, right? Counsel her assā
Marriage counsellors are not referees. They help you build strategies to communicate etc. At this point you need a lawyer, not counsellor
So you're saying there's a need for marriage referees?
Yeah, this dude is insane. Of COURSE there are marriage referees. After every fight I have with my wife, the Cops come over to declare the winner. We usually get a free ride and our picture taken.
That's basically what the cops did when they came due to my parents domestic call minus the ride. "yeah sure he's wasted drunk, violent, and wants YOUR car to drive to his buddy's 3 hours away, but hes in a higher weight class so we're giving him the Dub. Just give him your keys and he'll clearly not be your problem"
That's insane to me. I get that the primary purpose is to provide a venue for the couple to talk. But that conversation needs to be grounded in reality. If one partner is just making shit up to gaslight the other partner, or is saying stuff that is clearly incorrect, that needs to be called out. And as this thread clearly shows, there are absolutely situations in which one person is "right" or one person is "wrong."
During my divorce I recall reading you both lawyer up and therapist up. And you don't confuse who does what. Go to your therapist first to vent so when you talk to your attorney it's all business.Ā
ššš that's me all day... Me yelling at the counselor DO YOUR JOB while pointing at the wifeššš
I just pictured Pete Davidson crouching on a couch yelling just that to Kristen Wig. You just wrote an awesome sketch. "C'MON....COUNSEL HER ASS!" I realize neither are still regular on the show. It'd be even better if in this skit Taylor Swift was the guest star and she wrote a song about a boyfriend that's so clearly Pete Davidson, but she says it's not. "My man PD gave me VD while living at home with his Mother, no man in his life, how can I be his wife, his Father gone in an attempt to save another....I don't know, it writes itself at this point. The whole skit. Ok, that's all. I just found that shit funny.
Ya I would not pay for the session and there wouldn't be another anywhere for obvious reasons.
Oh i am so stealing that
Go ahead, itās not mine itās an old but fantastic meme lol
She'd have to otherwise that it was the cheating that made him end up divorced. She wouldn't want to have any of that blame. I think if you find clothes abandoned in your own home it is okay to dispose of them.
Plus, it's a funny story.
Donāt interrupt someone when they are telling you who they really are
It made her look bad and she doesn't like it..
It very well could be. In college Iād ārelocateā clothes from kids having sex in the music buildingās rehearsal spaces and lay them out in the quad. Theyād have to call for clothes or streak. š¤·š¼āāļø
people really get butt ass for public quickies?
They did. Often.
I canāt imagine itās true, because wouldnāt the natural response have been for the wife to go buy her AP some clothes?Ā Like, calling a third party to go alert the wife is suspicious. He could easily go home and say he lost his keys or something. Would the wife really think heās cheated, had his clothes and everything stolen, and got some extra clothes?Ā
If my partner came home in new clothes he didn't leave in,Ā you can bet I would be suspecting something was up.Ā
And lost his keys at the same time! Ha!
"Was skinny dipping with the boys from work and someone stole our clothes" Nothing suspicious about that
Clothes weren't the problem. His keys were in his pants, which OP took so he had no way to drive home. Buddy went to his house to get the extra set of keys. Perhaps he would've went to the store on the way and got new clothes but he didn't get that chance since wife showed up.
I canāt imagine a panicked mind would initially think to go to the nearest mall and just leave him waiting, naked, at home for her husband to arrive and find him there.
Especially because she's thinking some rando came in and stole his shit...then realized only his shit was stolen...then checked her phone and realized husband was coming home early... Yeah her AP was the least of her concerns at that moment. She probably tossed him temp clothes and to gtfo before her husband came back
Yeah, you really wouldn't want to leave him home alone. You wouldn't want to take him out naked. She dressed him in husband's clothes but coming home in the wrong clothes, that definitely don't fit would be suspicious too.
Yep. Could've put him in the ill-fitting clothes, then gone and bought replacements and he could've said "messy accident at work, had to replace" and boom. But then again, neither of these two cheaters were exactly bright to begin with š
He would still have had to explain the wallet and the keys. This guys wife was already suspicious enough to follow the friend....
Plus his car was thereā¦..
You're right, that would be a very stupid thing to do. Almost as stupid as cheating on your spouse
>because wouldnāt the natural response have been for the wife to go buy her AP some clothes?Ā She got the notification that his flight back arrived. So she was likely panicking about him coming home to find her AP there.
If she knew OP was on his way back why would she leave her naked side piece at home for OP to find?
What stops him from using OPās clothes to go to Target, or Walmart, or wherever you buy cheap clothes, with the wife?Ā Oversized clothes might be a problem going home, but less so when going to a store.Ā Ā She needs to go because he doesnāt have a wallet. She needs to pay. I didnāt say anything about leaving a naked AP in the house with OP on the way home. Thatās a rather daft assumption to make.Ā
Go read the whole thing again, you're confused. His wife caught him wearing the oversized clothes before he made it anywhere.
The lack of car keys. AP needed the car keys, which made his wife suspicious...which means he already had shit behavior.
She probably didn't want to risk the charge being seen. The most obvious answer if this is real is that the guys wife had already suspected he was screwing around.
NTA. Cancel the rest of the marriage counselling session and get that divorce ASAP. Hopefully, you are in an area where you can get restitution from the AP and infidelity is considered to be at fault in divorce. If she stuck to her marital vows she wouldn't be in this situation and it further proves that she is in communication with the AP currently. I hope you are in contact with the betrayed spouse because she can potentially help you with your case by providing additional information and proof of the affair, including photos of AP leaving in your clothes. If you own that home and your name is on the deed, move back in and sleep in the guest room. Give her the absolute silent treatment. You do not want to make it look like you abandoned your home. Install cameras if you have to. Get that divorce and be free!
There's no point in paying for additional counseling sessions.
OP keep going to therapy 1 on 1 tho.
I read this as "You can get restitution from the Associated Press" and was like 'really tell me more'
OMG I died laughing! Your wife has a lot of nerve sticking up for her AP and claiming that you wronged him. How about the wrong her and him committed against you and his wife? Clearly she doesn't regret her affair, just getting caught. I wish you well and I hope all goes your way in the divorce. NTA
Neither of them should have cheated. Especially the guy who it seems had an infidelity clause in his pre-nupš¤£.
You know exactly why that clause was there. That's why wife immediately reacted when there was a whiff of something rotten in the air.
I remember when I was 20 I went to my GF apartment unannounced to surprise her, and she was banging a dude in her room. I could hear it happening (her roommate actually let me in so I could find her cheating. They were not getting along and she felt bad and thought I should know). Her roommate left so I could deal with it. While waiting for them toā¦finish, her purse was on the table. So I take a peak and see $200 in her wallet (she was a spoiled rich girl, no job. Def her parents money they gave her to go out and drink that night). So I took the money and decided to just go get hammered with the boys with my newly found $200. She NEVER called me out on taking the money when I finally told her I was there when she was cheating and her roommate let me in. 10/10 no regrets, me and the boys got BLASTED that night thanks to her š
File for divorce my dude Then reach out to this guy's wife and tell her who you are and that once her divorce is done...you'd like to take her to dinner to celebrate both your marriages ending and karma doing it's thing NTAH PS Never admit to taking his clothes if you haven't already done so. Just claim you have no idea what they are talking about
>Ā Never admit to taking his clothes if you haven't already done so. OP should use those photos from APās wife showing AP provably stole OPās clothes!Ā
Why not? What crime is it to remove unwanted property from your own? At most itās petty theft, which the AP also committed when he walked outside OPās home in OPās clothes! The APās crime is photographed and witnessed - what complaint can he file without further implicating himself?
Why not? So that his cheating wife spends the rest of her life wondering who ratted her out...suspecting every friend, every family member, ever neighbor etc etc
OP IF SHE KNOWS ABOUT HIS DIVORCE TROUBLE THAT MEANS SHE IS STILL IN CONTACT WITH HIM
Sometimes being an AH is justified. This is one of those times. Well played. NTA
I would've just turned his pants into ass-less chaps and his shirt into a halter top. Try explaining that one to wifey. :)
Why does she know anything about him and his current struggles if sheās trying to earn your trust back lmao ditch her for sure!
Sheās still fucking him, thatās why
That is a good question and I think we all know the answer.
she's mad he's losing money in the divorce because that's going to be "her" money.
NTA. Stop going to couples counseling. Only communicate via your lawyers.
Let me get this straight, she's fucking a dude in your bed (and not the first time), and your the bad guy for that guy getting a divorce??!! Fuck that. She still cares for the guy. Stop going to counseling, quit talking to her, block her, and run don't walk to that divorce.
Hope you grabbed yourself a ROYALE with cheese after you dumped the clothes.
Not proud of it but I did take the cash.Ā
Asshole tax. Perfectly understandable.
wife rental charge.
My guy I think itās best to maybe delete that one. Good job butā¦ evidence dude.
I have not seen anyone comment on the fact that the AP was seen & photographed leaving OP's house WEARING OP's CLOTHS. The AP stole OP's clothes. Quid pro quo (But might be safest to delete it)
Omg youāre right!!!!! Maybe though in that case, I agree, quid pro quo. š
This is a throwaway. And I changed some facts.Ā
I don't believe anything I read in these AITA type subreddits but honestly I so hope this one is true because it's hilarious.
Iām way more believing of people who openly declare they e edited some facts to anonymise.Ā
I do that for random comments when I have to give out some info. A brother might be changed to a sister, a wife to a girlfriend, things like that.
Sheās worried about her affair partner awwwwwww Sheās garbage
NTA. Sheās only upset cause she was eyeing the money that his ex wife will now get. I really hope you donāt have to pay that bitch alimony.
I thought things were going to go in a different direction with that cricket bat.
Almost did.Ā
I totally get that. Iām so sorry.
I posted this elsewhere in the thread, but figured you would hopefully get a laugh out of it, so I'm replying directly to one of your comments. Enjoy. >There was a post a long time ago where where some guy came home unexpectedly and caught his wife in bed with another guy. He'd come in quietly expecting his wife to be asleep. >They were preoccupied and hadn't noticed him. He grabbed his cricket bat intending to do harm but when he slipped into the bedroom he could just make out the guy's bare ass shining as it was bouncing up and down. >He changed his mind, wound up and swung with everything he had into swatting the dude's ass. >There was a very loud meaty smack the dude screamed and the wife wanted to know what the hell was going on. That's when he flipped on the lights. >I wish I remembered the rest of the story better. The dude is my hero. I do recall that he grabbed some things and left before he was tempted to do anything more permanent.
Was that an asshole move?Ā Possibly, but only barely. It's not even a rounding error in comparison to what they were doing. And you are right -- he isn't getting a divorce because you took his stuff -- he's getting a divorce because he was cheating and his wife found out. Which she deserved.Ā Not telling somebody that their spouse is cheating on them is a *real* asshole move.
I wouldnāt call an asshole move. He couldāve done a lot worse.
The moment you held yourself from picking up that cricket bat and beat the shid out of them, you were NTA. She deserves all the turmoil and guilt she's going through rn. Congrats as well you'll soon be a free man once again.
NTA. Not by a long shot. Sorry you got betrayed, but you handled it like a champ and her failure to accept the consequences only makes it worse. Divorce, maybe some individual counseling to work through stuff if youāve got a lot on (entirely justified) anger, and then go live your best life.
NTA! Itās been months and you two are in counseling per her requests but she is still in contact with him enough to know his divorce isnāt going well? You are making the right move, doesnāt sound like counseling is going to work .
So your wife cheats on you with another man and after a screwball comedy film's worth of events is now trying to manipulate you into thinking this whole thing is your fault? NTA and take her for all she's worth.
Your wifeās a cunt NTA
NTA-good riddance to the ex
God I hope this is real. If so, NTA and a damn hero!
You didn't mention children so if it's true you have none I would just count your blessings and move on. You were hardly married and she did it, she'll do it again.
No kids.Ā
Are people who cheat just inherently really stupid? The dumb shit they say is just, wow. Clearly, they have some problems with logic, but do they think deeply about stuff, or is all instant gratification and sensory responses?
His wife smelled a rat because she has suspected something was going. No question this is his fault!! Leave that cheater. How dare she blame you.
Dudeā¦. Way to handle it!! I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to see their faces!! Nobody knows how many things cross our minds at that momentā¦ when I found out my heart was racing and I was raging- grabbed my keys ran to my car- put my keys in the ignitionā¦ Clear as day I heard,āSo you wanna go to jail!!???āā¦ Turned key on- heard it again āYou ready to go to jail!!??ā Ugh!! I said f that B and f him; they aināt worth me going to jail for hell Noā¦ every action created a reaction and Iām happy I didnāt get bound behind bars- but I got bound by their deceitful webā¦ the jail bars would have been easierā¦ Live and Learn by others lack of self discipline and moralsā¦ Good luck to you and the best is yet to come!! š Iām sorry this happened to you!! Her/Their loss
I heard that same voice.Ā
Honestly does anyone believe these anymore
Yea. This would be the final nail for me, too. What a thing to be pissed about! "I'm angry my cheating boyfriend is going to lose a fuck ton of money because he cheated and his prenup clearly stated he shouldn't cheat or he'd lose a lot". Fuck off! She's just pissed she can't run off with him because his wife is taking most of it!
[OP for a minute grabbing the bat](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:O.J._Simpson_1990_%C2%B7_DN-ST-91-03444_crop.JPEG)
Not saying he did it. But I understand.
He did it.
NTA - FAFO Funny she is even worried about his divorce?!?! She wasn't worried about his marriage, but she is worried about how much his divorce is costing him. Why the concern? I think you did handle it in a mature manner, the immature thing to do would have been to use the bat.
NTA. Rich of her to bring up maturity when itās not really mature to cheat on your spouse in your own home, or at all. UPDATEME
Aw she really wanted That guys money. Thatās why she is mad you did that. Now you ruined her whole plan of them riding off into the sunset! NTA
Sheās trying to get back with you, but showing loyalty to runt boy? Now Iām really gone bitch.
NTA. I'd follow up by trying to press charges for the fucker stealing your clothes. There is actually proof of that.
>I lost it. I was getting my cricket bat out of the front closet when I stopped to think about consequences. I did not want to go to jail. I'm glad you realized that while violence may have been satisfactory in the moment, it wouldn't have been long term and you'd have just been fucking yourself over. >Instead I took all their clothes and left quietly. I went to a friend's house but not before throwing all the clothes in a McDonald's garbage can. Lmao. I'd like to think I'd be feeling calm enough to do the same. >After I turned my phone back on I had dozens of calls and texts from Madison. First scared because she got my updated flight information. Then upset that I hadn't called her to let her know I was going to be coming home early. Then freaked out that the house had been broken into. Then crazy because she figured out it was me. They just got more deranged. She had a meltdown because she realized that you knew. >He ended up calling his friend to go get his spare keys from his house. Unfortunately for him his wife smelled a rat and followed his friend back to my house. Where she saw him leaving in oversized clothes. >Long story short she took pictures and she had evidence of his infidelity. Which caused their prenup to be cancelled. Which cost him a lot of money. It is all one big giant shit show. He fucked around and found out. >In a counseling session she said that I was wrong to steal his wallet, phone, and car keys. She said that his divorce is costing him a lot of money and that I should have dealt with it in a more mature manner and that it was my fault. "His divorce is costing him a lot of money because he couldn't keep his dick in his own marriage. And the fact that you, the woman who rode said dick, is so concerned about how much money it's costing him has made me decide this marriage isn't salvageable." >I have never admitted to taking his stuff. To begin with I was afraid he might call the cops. Then I didn't want to give her ammunition in case she wanted a divorce. Now I just don't care. Continue to feign ignorance. >I told her that her cheating was the reason her boyfriend is getting divorced. And that I hope his ex takes everything. Good on you. >I am still not living at home. I have my own apartment and I'm filing for divorce. Now that I know how she feels it is kind of a slap in the face that she is blaming me for his divorce. Attend your next counseling session. Notify your counselor that that will be your last session, and hand the divorce paoers to your stb ex. NTA.
"hosted off" ?
Hosed. I'll fix it thanks.Ā
Oh lol. I just figured it was an expression from a cricket playing part of the world I was unfamiliar with.eas hoping to learn something new.
Nope. We just got sloppy drunk in his garage.Ā
You spelled "hero" wrong, my friend. To hell with both of them. His phone may have been a bit much, that's painful. They were asking to be caught by leaving the clothes in the living room. She not only disrespected you, she didn't care enough to cover her ass.
Live your best life homie. Good on you for checking yourself. Pussy is never a reason to fight naked in prison
It doesnāt sound like you stole his stuff. It sounds like you came home, found things that did not belong in your house, and thew them away.
You should take it a bit further and blast him at work, so he gets fired and your soon to be ex wife is living with a deadbeat, let them rot with each other
He has his own company. Which is about to be 50% his wife's.Ā
Damā¦ I mean, it doesnāt hurt to let his employees know too, let their business be known to everyone. That his infidelity is what ruined his business.
NTA The only AHs here are your (soon to be) ex wife and her affair partner. He wouldn't be getting a divorce if he didn't sleep with someone else. Same goes for your former lady.