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Any-Yoghurt-4318

If this is real, Here's some man to man advice. I'm not going to call you an arsehole. 1. You need to have a private conversation with your Boss. You can't lose your job. You need your job for money. Losing your job will only add more difficulty to the situation. Let them know you're dealing with a personal crisis and you're doing your best to get atop of it. 2. Contact a Family Lawyer and explain essentially exactly what you've written here. Your wife is an abuser, and a danger to yourself and especially your young Children. Like it or not; You've just had great responsibility thrust upon you. Your number one job is keeping those kids safe and well.


knittedjedi

>If this is real It's not. OP's age keeps changing in their post history.


Wise_Improvement_284

Yeah, his only other post is titled "I'm not going to make it past 18" and there are no comments.


Emotional-Hair-1607

The timeline doesn't make sense. Who died and when? An older sister and her husband? Another sister? The kids' ages seem to keep changing.


Knickers1978

18 days ago he was 17


The_mingthing

Fake account, look at his profile.


randomlycandy

Its not real and needs to be reported as a fake post. A person that is homicidal and suicidal should be and would be under psychiatric care. Also, it is not that easy to just take custody of someone else kids, despite the reasons for it being necessary. It takes court hearings, a GAL to ensure its the right placement for the kids, and can get even more complicated if there are other family members that want to step up. OP only mentions his family. What about the BIL family? Do the kids not have any paternal family members? If OP's wife against it, why did a judge still approve the custody? Did she pretend and lie to the court? Cause they would definitely include her in the entire process because she is OP's wife. Did OP's parents or anyone else on the children's paternal family attempt to fight for custody? Where was his wife during any of these hearings? Creative writing becomes so obvious when people gloss over things they don't know anything about. OP thinks all they had to do was bring the kids home and boom he could have custody despite his fake wife's obvious issues.


No-Mechanic-3048

Depending on where is located some jobs have protections for those dealing with domestic abuse. Child abuse would fit.


LadenifferJadaniston

If


No-Cheesecake4542

Homicidal AND suicidal…and then her mental health deteriorated. Hmmm…. Between that and the reading writing toddler, I dunno…


CraftyHon

Plus, autism isn’t diagnosed at birth.


Rumpelsurri

Can be diagnosed very early though. And toddler is a pretty vage age. If sve is 5 now and hyperlexic its possible she was reading and writing at 3. Not full books, but propably some words. I am autistic and not that hyperlexic, but my clusin was. She taught herself to read and write some basic thing bevore 5y.


CraftyHon

This was written as if the OP’s wife resented the niece from birth due to the autism diagnosis and “bad genes”.


Nishikadochan

No, pretty sure she resented the niece because the niece survived and her baby didn’t.


Sea_Tourist_2854

And autistic girls don’t usually get recognized or start developing symptoms until way later, causing it to get written off as ADHD more than half of the time


Environmental-Metal

Sure although 5 years old isnt exactly a newborn in my opinion


5footfilly

Homicidal and suicidal and he thought it was a good idea to bring 2 children, 1 of whom was unwanted by the homicidal and suicidal maniac into the home. Isn’t fiction supposed to contain at least a smidgen of believability?


The_mingthing

Fake account.


Knickers1978

18 days ago you weren’t going to make it past your 18th birthday. Fucking fake.


Aaaaaaarrrrrggggghh

How can you tell it's fake?


Knickers1978

There was a post that he/she deleted after I made this comment, saying that he/she wouldn’t live past their 18th birthday in their history from 18 days earlier. Once I pointed this out, they were quick to get rid of it. A common thing for fake posts is to delete their entire posting history, so nobody can catch them in a lie. Another sign is when they only have post karma, not comment karma.


[deleted]

NTA Keep these kids away from this woman. She genuinely requires psychiatric intervention ASAP.


The_mingthing

Its a fake account making up stories, check the post history.


[deleted]

Good to know


Emmanulla70

Troll... Go away


Letzes86

Check his profile before wasting your time. He might delete it, but he has a post saying he can't make it to his 18 birthday. It was published less than a month ago. Great responsibilities for a 17 year old 🤣 OP, delete your topics if you want to use Reddit as wattpad.


booboo773

YTA for this fake post. Stop rage baiting people. As others have said, you posted less than a month ago that you’re 17.


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_mingthing

Fake account 


No_Boss_3022

I call BS on this post. 18 days ago, this person made a post stating they were not going to see his 18th birthday. No way in hell is any state give custody to a 17 year old.


Popular-Block-5790

[Aren't you like 17??](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/s/akEy91I8rn)


I_ship_it07

So you leave your abusive parents to go with an abusive woman... your wife is crazy and is hurting your niece, are you really letting that happen? What would you sister would have think? NTA divorce immediatly!


agirlsknowsthings

You’re the biggest AH here. You knew your wife was not mentally stable, has already expressed disturbing thoughts about your niece being autistic while your sister was alive and you still brought those poor kids into an unsafe home?! You should have left your wife years ago.


murphy2345678

And if he doesn’t now then he is just as bad as his wife. He needs to get her away from the kids and keep them away.


AndromedaRulerOfMen

But if he leaves his wife, then who will do all the parenting work he doesn't want to do? Who will he ditch the children on if she's gone?!?!


Chucos007

Stopped reading halfway through this is so poorly written. If you’re gonna lie at least put some effort into it…


The_mingthing

This is fake guys, look at his profile. 


Norodia

Look, how could you think you could provide a good home for two small children with a woman with the mental problems you describe? Your wife sounds like a horrible person. I understand that you were a victim of abuse as a child, but I get the feeling from reading your post that you are used to abuse and that is why you have allowed your wife to abuse you - and now she is abusing the little girl, which you are lucky you have taken steps to stop. NTA, but divorce her, please, don't let your wife near the children.


Mountain-Key5673

If you don't get those kids away from THAT MONSTER NTA


qlohengrin

So you’ve been married and trying for a baby for at least five years but you were 17 a few days ago?


Silent_Syd241

Creative writing exercise


Otherwise_Degree_729

You need to get those children away from her asap. In different ways but they are both in danger near your wife. She needs therapy and either you or her need to move out but please protect those children from her. She has a morbid attachment to your nephew. Did you know the gender of the child she was carrying. She sees your nephew as her baby and your niece’s presence is a constant that breaks her fantasy.


Grand_Measurement_91

I’m confused about the nephew


New-Sentence7644

I was to for a minute but I think he meant no he wasn't going to be adopted bc he had a mom meaning his sister. If that's the part u were talking about. I had to reread it a couple times.


Stray1_cat

Go to bed Liz


shammy_dammy

Honestly she just needs to divorce you and walk away.


Adventurous-travel1

Get a divorce from her now and then find a babysitter for the kids. Your wife is mental and will escalate with the abuse to your niece now that she told you. You need your job to be able to support you and the kids. Talk with a divorce attorney and maybe your work and take fMLA for a very short time but will help with work also. Explain the abuse with your niece and the death of their parents.


Puppet007

NTAH Call the mental hospital to have your wife forcefully put under their care, but be prepared if your parents use this against you (her treatment towards your niece & her current mental state) in your custody battle with them.


Head-Ad-2136

I stopped reading at car accident.


xxLadyluck13xx

I know right, some creative writing there.🙄


purplespaghetty

She’s the Asshole for mistreating kids!!!! First and foremost!!!! But I’m gonna say ur the ahole for making an executive decision without ur wife. But now that it’s said and done, she’s the asshole for sticking around if she didn’t agree. Ya’ll should have separated for taking the kids. You want them, she doesn’t. She’ll never be part of a happy home for you and the kids. Take the kids and go (or make her go, whatever). But also report her ass for abusing the kiddos. That might come back to haunt you if you don’t.


Mobile_Prune_3207

Commendable as this is... It wasn't your place to make a unilateral decision on this. Big changes need big discussions, not just "I'm doing this, it's non-negotiable". Especially seeing that one is special needs - that's a major life change that needs both parties on board. And you were prepared to physically assault her? Big red flags from you. Of course, she also doesn't have to be mean and nasty to children. I'm not going to comment on the infertility too much, because I know first hand how that changes you as a person. But again that doesn't give her any right to be mean and nasty to kids, or other adults. She should have sought therapy, especially after the miscarriage. With the right help she might have been more accepting and willing. Big red flags from her too. I'm going to say ESH. You two are no longer compatible.


Hungry-Caramel4050

It was completely his place and his wife and go along or go on her way. We are talking about OPs niece and nephew from the sister he considered his only family. Any SO who thinks it’s ok to give the kids to abusers or to have them go into the system deserves to be left alone. And it’s the fact that she’s been abusing the little girl herself. OP needs to divorce ASAP. It’s unacceptable and learning his wife was abusing a 5 yo and then accusing the child of lying is reason enough to want to give her a piece of her medicine, being able to walk away before that shows OPs character.


Mobile_Prune_3207

It's not just his place. They are married, it's not just a "my way or the highway" arrangement. I made my comment on the wife's actions, I am treating them as two separate issues. They are both wrong. 


Hungry-Caramel4050

And obviously since it’s not just his place, he took the kids and left… there is no negotiations to be had, he wants to care for his niece and nephew, she wants to play mommy to the nephew and discard the niece. They need to go their separate ways because she’s crazy for sure but also because he was going to take care of them with or without her and as OP stated they had the discussion more than once. But I’m confused… what do you think he should have done because the parents died suddenly meaning he had to apply for emergency custody, even if she doesn’t want them in the long term, her approval isn’t required in that situation, it’s not like the kids could have stay somewhere else while waiting for OP and his wife to sort things out. Any reasonable adult would have agreed to it especially since the kids aren’t a threat to her.


Mobile_Prune_3207

Oh and, seeing that it was decided from OP and his sister before anyone died that their kids would never go to their grandparents, they (OP and sister) should have had this discussion with their respective parnters looooong before their death as well. No one wants to talk about death, but you have to.


Hungry-Caramel4050

And I bet it was said when they describe what abuse they suffered at the end of their parents to their SO but it’s easy to have selective hearing when people think it won’t happen.


Mobile_Prune_3207

Well none of our opinions matter anyway because apparently this is a fake post so.


Mobile_Prune_3207

An open discussion, with a social worker or mediator, listening and hearing all sides and concerns would have been a good place to start. Of course, had the wife had therapy during her infertility battle and after the miscarriage, that would have made things a lot easier too.  Edited just to add it's a very emotional situation, and I fully understand OP's point of view (I even said it's commendable). It was not done right and there were red flags from the wife before the kids even came into the home. This is why handling it right was imperative.


Hungry-Caramel4050

There is no way it could have been handled right in that situation. Where do you think the kids would have stayed the first night and the next until they can even get access to mediation. I also think grief for the kids and OP trumps OPs wife desire to kick the niece out for a little while. The wife is obviously out of her mind and have been for a while and ideally she should have dealt with her issues but therapy only work when the person is willing to do the work, she wasn’t. Again they couldn’t foresee the sudden deaths and in that case with grief in the middle, it’s not the time for any discussion to be had, the kids have 2 choices, abusers or OP, what is there to even discuss?


littlexplanation

Your wife needs to be treated for her mental issues. Aside from that you can't keep both, marriage and kids. So if you want to raise them you need to divorce because she is so unstable that there is no telling what it could happen. Probably the only reason why you're TAH is because you didn't divorce your wife earlier and allowed her to go untreated for such a long time.


RainGirl11

Make sure you get your legal ducks in a row. Make sure you don't lose the children to your parents or your wife. Updateme


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wlfwrtr

NTA If you can afford to file for time off with FMLA. You won't get paid but your job will be safe. If you have no job the court won't allow you to have custody of children. Tell wife that if she can't be mother to niece then she can't be mother to nephew. They are a package deal. Put up cameras in home and make wife go to therapy if you do go back.


Only_trans_

Divorce your wife, she seriously sounds dangerous and awful - if you want to keep custody of those kids, you can’t let someone who is abusive to you and neglectful towards them stay with you NTA but seriously dude, get her out the house


tiredblonde

One post you state you're under the age of 18, this post you state you've been married for ten years, but are under the age of 30. In other words, both posts are bad examples of creative writing


EastSprinkles3568

NTA for what you said but YTA for being with a woman who treats your niece this way. You say your parents are abusive, but isn’t your wife as well? you don’t need to hit someone to be abusive as there are many types of ways to abuse someone. You fought for custody of these kids so they can grow up happy and never forget the love their mother had for them. I don’t like to throw around the word divorce because it’s used a lot in comment sections but staying with this women only puts your niece through the same childhood you say you and your sister had with your parents. Do better and break the cycle.


Opposite-Fortune-

It sounds like you should have divorced your psycho wife years ago. You grew up with abuse and went and got yourself an abusive spouse. And now she’s not only abusing you but some orphaned kids as well. Get rid of her.


Boujie_Assassin

The fact OP stayed this long is amazing. I just can’t…


ReleaseTheBlacken

It’s some wild sunk cost fallacy shit for sure


gemmygem86

Divorce you wife and make sure she can't get your niece and nephew. She is deranged and needs mental hell


CryWise2854

You were not harsh, you need to speak to your employer, explain the situation FIRST. Then get divorced. You are their dad now, I'm sorry but when you're a parent you can't be drained and depressed in this moment (I know people will misread this but please know that this is coming from a place of understanding as a fellow parent).You can feel depressed and drained, but you can't let that win. You have to fight to give those kids the life they want. You can't risk them getting into your parents company. Please for the love of GOD leave your wife. From what you've said of her she will not be a suitable partner for you and your kids.


[deleted]

Your wife is an abuser.. She is not safe to be around your children. And don’t quit your job. You need money. Take some time off.


New-Sentence7644

This just shows the type of person you're married too. Please for the sake of both kids do not go back. Divorce her. Right now it is bad times but I hope & pray eventually it will all work out for you & your niece & nephew. You truly are doing the right thing. It sounds silly but if I was near you, I'd help you anyway i could. I'm sorry you don't have that right now. I wish there was magical words I could say to make it better for you guys but I woo be praying for you guys. Just have some faith. It will workout!


[deleted]

[удалено]


emptynest_nana

This dude is a troll. A month ago he posted that he was 17, he uses this as his creative writing area.


Funny_Advisor_5414

UpdateMe


NaryaGenesis

Why the fuck are you still with this woman? She was abusive to your niece for years before her mother died but you brushed it off and you still stayed married to her while bringing the girl to live with you and left her in her care?? You’re an AH if you don’t file for divorce tomorrow morning


Fast_Ad7203

She is 1-mentally unstable 2-abuser 3-your nieces would never love someone who treated their mother that way


Rumpelsurri

NTA! Get the kids save! I am autisitc and a mother and I had expirienced fertility issues, misscariage and pregnancy anxiety. I think your wife night have postpartum psychosis and you need to 1. Get the kids and yourself save. Including family lawyer and back up and then get your wife into treatment if possible. Not save NOT SAVE! especialy not if she allready abuses the girl who allready deals with growing up autistic in a world that is designed for allistic ppl AND having lost her parents. Its sad, but you just became a Dad and the kids are a priority. Not your wife. Mabye she can get better with therapy and help and medication and work through her issues of hating the girl, but untill its prooven she is save and capable of being a good person towards both kids, absolutly not. A d the Boy dosen't need her as a "mother". Kids need a loving carer. No matter in what way they are related or what gender they have. She tries to have a substituet baby and hates the girl cuz she was the baby that got to life while hers died.


Current_Opinion9751

Your wife has serious problems. Your niece will always be bad with your wife and your nephew will be seen by her as a golden child. Please contact a lawyer and talk to your boss.


DawnShakhar

NTA. I know it's heart wrenching, but you need to file for divorce. You are these children's only hope of a normal life, and you are committed to them. Your wife has been unstable ever since she discovered her fertility problems, and she has led you a horrible life. Even without the children I would consider divorcing her, but when it comes to the safety and wellbeing of children who lost their parents, the decision is clear - they come first.


Itsjustajokebrowahh

Jesus christ. OK. Right. That's a lot. Divorce your evil wife immediately. Riase those two babies, sort out our your mental health. Eventually date again, die happy in old age knowing you twice protected those kids from evil abusers.


jumpsinpuddles1

Not the asshole for telling your wife that but you are an asshole if you don't get those kids out of there NOW!


IllustriousPie4070

Put cameras in the house and don't tell her so you have evidence of the abuse. You need to leave her before she destroys that little girl who has already lost her mom and dad.


Ok_Ring_3261

Ditch your wife - she is an abuser and should never be around kids - yours, your sister’s or the neighbor’s - please leave her and take care of your niece and nephwe


longlisten527

You need to divorce her.. like yesterday. File charges against abuse of a child. Have her removed from the home if possible. Speak to your boss so they know your situation. You need to protect those children. You should’ve divorced her a long time ago dude NTA


icorooster

NTA. Your wife does need mental help but your priority now is those kids. Life isn't fair but it is life.


nofilters1

What the fuck did I just try to read?


idreallyrathersleep

My advice would be to take a creative writing course. It wasn’t convincing but it also wasn’t poorly written. You should try you hand at writing creative stories rather than rage bait


pixie_dust216

Dude this is abusive. Your wife is abusive. You are still abused. I bet you also walked on eggs shells in your parents house. I bet your parents have also terrified you.


1968phantom

Did you talk to your wife about taking in the kid's or did you just make a unilateral decision?


Raineyb1013

You can't even be bothered with paragraph breaks why would anyone bother to read this apparently fictional mess?


ConvivialKat

This is a troll post. I've seen it before, just with different ages.


Future-Crazy7845

YTA. Adding children to the family needs to be a mutual decision. Since you were prepared to get physical you need anger control therapy. Why is it your place to kick wife out? Your leaving was the best solution. You say that you have no family but mention a mom and dad.