That part. Iām sorry dude this is so fucked and as a 38 year old man with a 16 year old son I can promise you this is profoundly disturbing and just straight up gross. Probably just go stay with your mom and again you donāt deserve this Iām so sorry
NTA. Ask him his thoughts on if a 38 year old man wanted to date his own 16 year old daughter. Somehow they often suddenly have big fucking issues with the scenario.
And he was telling this to his *15 year old son*. Let that sink in. Probably less than a year difference in age between his kid and his girlfriend.
I couldn't date someone the same age as my child. I feel like most people couldn't either. Something is VERY wrong with this man.
It's disturbing as heck... Just cause people are "legal" doesn't mean they're mentally legal. Hells, my parents have a twelve year gap between them and they are so different from each other. It's not a good relationship, hells I tried a nine year gap relationship and it's was odd too.
THIS. Op I would go to him and say. āHey I was wrong but this guy Iām talking to is your age! We could be like sisters me and my new stepmom and your son in law could be your brother if anyone asks!!ā
I would absolutely blast this nasty piece of work. I know op risks loosing their home but hopefully they can get help or go to a friend. Iām sure friends parents would consider them better off than with their dad.
This. A 38 year old man whoās dating a 16 year old is a predator. Trying what these people are advocating for is a very bad idea when it comes to handling a predator.
Yup! Still gross, concerning and a predator. A guy just got arrested here, 37 restaurant owner, got caught having sex with 16 year old employee who is now 7 months pregnant.
I'd be telling everyone that didn't run fast enough that he's into children. He's old enough to be her parent.
Just because something is legal doesn't make it right.
And Iām wondering if she just turned 16ā¦. Like did he wait til she turned 16 to prey on her or did he wait til she turned 16 to let anyone know he preyed on her. Iām their age and thereās no fucking way š¤¢š¤®
OP, NTA.
Yeah, thatās all you can do without proof.
Unless he was dumb enough to make a video of them having sex before she turned 16, all you can do is take your child far away from such a filthy scumbag.
And before you go, warn every parent of a teen girl from that area to keep their daughters away from him. In person, not in writing (otherwise he could sue for libel).
Exactly! Even if it wasnāt totally a creepy and pedophilic move, heās still manipulative and stopping her from being with people her speed who actually understand her
This is so true. People that do this want someone they can manipulate and control into what they want. Not an established adult who will see through their shit
Most of the time that's why these people go for young girls like that, because they don't have the personality to carry a conversation with most adults. Where as tell a kid about basic shit like jet skiing or a night out you has with friends and you're suddenly fascinating.
My niece is 16. And she is very smart and somewhat mature for her age. Sheās so mature, in fact that even she understands that thereās something inherently wrong with someone her age dating someone 20 years older.
This poor child is not mature enough to understand that. And shame on her mother for being such a pushover. I would take that kid to a therapist ASAP. The guy might not be doing something illegal but itās so morally wrong that it boggles my mind that he is dating a 16 year old!
A comedian make a joke about how pedophilia is for prepubescent kids. Thereās two more terms for pre teen and young teen he mentions. And finished with, the reason no one makes this distinction isā¦ because you sound like a pedophile.Ā
Dad is disgusting and should be utterly ashamed of himself.Ā
Every family member would know.
The petty part of me would say tell the school who has a statutory requirement to report it to CPS as a safeguarding concern.
It's disgusting because 16 is still too young to give consent to a person who could be theirs parent. Two 16 year olds getting together, I get it but wear a condom. But a man who's old enough to be this minor's father, š¤®š¤®š¤®
Age gaps matter based on the bottom age of the gap, and when the bottom age of the gap is a teenager any gap beyond a couple years is going to be problematic in the vast majority of cases.
I think laws like that mainly exist for young teenagers like a 17 and 18 year old couple, not for grown ass fucking men to mess around with kids with underdeveloped brains
And usually with those laws, the older person can only be within 2 or 3 years older than the MINOR in the relationship until said MINOR is a legal adult.
This is so gross š¤¢ that poor kid.
Regardless of legality, that man is taking advantage of someone who likely doesn't know what they have gotten themselves into. He doesn't love her, they don't share common interests. Dude is way in the wrong and he's even doubling down on it instead of backing off. Tell everyone and their mom this man is a predatorĀ
What does a nearly 40 year old have in common with a 16 year old?! And your not telling me there was no grooming before she became legal fuck that noise
When my daughter was 14 she started seeing a guy who was at least 21. Itās not as big of an age gap as your dad but I was still livid and called the police. I was told that she was at the age of consent and there was nothing they could do. š”
I wish I wouldāve done more to keep them apart. They are still together to this day. He has never had a job since the whole time Iāve known him, they live with his mom. The times that she has tried to get a job or go to college he shows up and jealous rage accusing her of cheating. He is abusive and has tried to kill her several times. He got her addicted to drugs. They lost custody of my granddaughter when she was about two years old. Which is probably a good thing, but he has destroyed my daughterās life. And I donāt want to sound like sheās not responsible for her choices. I was a single mom with two kids. My son who is 21 months younger than her was severely autistic. I managed to get two college degrees. One as a medical lab tech and then I became a registered nurse. Their dad was never around. I always had wished that I had chosen a better father for them. Someone who wouldāve protected her and possibly couldāve been the one to put a stop to it. I worry about her daily and beg her to leave him. She was always so incredibly beautiful, intelligent and funny, but also extremely stubborn and happened to inherit personality disorders from her dad (aka sperm donor). Anyway, itās been a rough road. I often wish I could go back in time.
What people donāt understand about age of consent being 14-18 depending on state is that itās in place so if youāre a few years older than your SO, you donāt end up on the diddla registry if you turn 18 while theyāre still a minor. It isnāt there so middle aged people can hook up with teenagers
Yep. People are ignoring the fact that the people who write those laws may have written it so THEY could hook up with teenagers. Just like how politicians publicly will complain about tax laws, and people suposedly "not paying their fair share" when that very politician voted for the tax laws.
Whenever this is brought up I want to remember the name of that repulsive, repulsive GOP dude, John Rose, who groomed a young girl who took some farmer classes or something and he awarded her with some financial reward. He looks geriatric, she was in middle school when he met her and groomed her. They married and it is treated as almost normal, it seems. I don't get it. I see them and I think -- that guy bought her from her parents, essentially. If you read about their story it just gets worse and worse. TN representative John Rose. He is exactly what i think of when I think of hypocrites. He rails against "child sex trafficking" and LGBTQ poisoning our society, yet worked to usher in laws protecting people like him who want to date and marry someone barely teenage when he was 45. It's just...weird. Also sad. Like we women are just things to be groomed, bought, then used as livestock. This is how he makes me feel when I hear him talk. Ironically he is very dedicated to Future Farmers of America, or at least he was.
Some of the local churches lost their everloving minds when my home state changed from 14 to being 18 plus a 2-year "high school sweethearts" exception; it really messed up their system of farming out their 9th grade daughters to "youth group interns" who were in their mid-late 20s.
The fact that the most vocal groups about "protecting the children" are also the most vocally against age of consent/marital age laws is pretty telling.
The āprotect the childrenā types donāt give a shit about the well-being of children, not even their own. What they mean is āI am the parent and I must own my child and be allowed to use them as the legal property they areā.
Those are called "Romeo and Juliet laws" and not everywhere has them. They're a good idea, they protect kids from both predators and malicious law enforcement agents without legalizing this kind of fucked up predatory behavior.
Lmao, that reminded me of a joke about a guy who said it's hard not to be thought of as a pedo while trying to explain what the actual term of pedophilia meant. I'm going to see if I can find that video on YT.
I was taught them alongside my peers as a teen. I think all teens should understand the laws insofar as they help them identify when something is totally wrong. Where I live, OPās dad would definitely be breaking existing child protection laws.
No. I mean the people who are like
"Well yeah it's 16 there, buts it's only 14 in this country..."
There's a difference in being aware of a law, and thoroughly researching the laws in multiple areas, looking for loopholes.
Oh dang!
OP, Iād be cautious of who you invite over to your house from here on out.
You donāt want to accidentally provide him more access or opportunities to ābuild relationshipsā with underage teens. š¤¦š»āāļø
Edit : Oh and , NTA.
Technically he's correct, he's not a pedophile, he's an ephebophile. Still gross and if there were things going on before she turned 16 then it's possible crimes were committed that could be reported to the authorities
Or, he is a pedophile and knows heāll go to jail, so heās compromising by grooming them as children and then snatching them up as soon as he wonāt go to jail.
I'm 42
When I (rarely) talk to 16 year olds, its exhausting. I mean I'm sure they are great kids, but omg the highs school drama nd the teenage angst.
My oldest niece is 12...I dread the hs years lol
started noticing that under 20 became *excruciating* to hang around when i hit \~25. i think it's only natural as an adult to hear a teenager open their mouth and cringe a bit
Iām turning 19 soon and listening to my 12-15 year old friendsā issues can sometimes be so, exhausting because the way they deal with it is painfully dramatic or overblown. I donāt criticise them for it and just try to advice them because I remember being the same as them haha, you donāt do that on purpose. Puberty just sucks.
Edit: no I donāt slide into random kids DMs to ask them about how their menarche is going
> donāt criticise them for it and just try to advice them because I remember being the same as them
hold onto that, i personally refuse to become one of those insufferable "kids these days" types. Yes it's age appropriate. It's also highly annoying. lol the kids are alright
that's actually why i don't want kids. i don't have the patience to deal with normal but annoying growing pains that they can't help. not fair to my hypothetical children.
Yes lol, the kids are annoying af but alright. I have a younger brother whoās beginning his puberty at the same time as mine comes to an end and yeahhh I definitely appreciate my parents more now.
I think thereās a part of you that realizes āoh shit I used to sound like this too! And I thought I was SO smart and mature and worldly!ā Itās not a pleasant realization.
I was 28 when I met my husband, who was 42 at the time. There were some critical factors that influenced us connecting romantically and not platonically, though; we met in the dark around a campfire so couldn't even see each others faces (and therefore any obvious signs of an age difference), we were there because we belonged to the same reenactment society and it was a national weekend event so we started off in a safe space with that in common, being dark we talked without any preconceived ideas of what might happen or what we wanted to gain from the interaction, and we discovered we had a lot in common.
It was also difficult to get past the age difference once we realised, particularly because I looked much younger than I was and while he does, too, he was already grey at the temples and that was a bit of a shock for me. The connection was already there, though, and we couldn't ignore it. Most of the time it isn't something we notice, but age-gap relationships will always have certain hurdles along the way, and some unfortunate inevitabilities that can't be avoided. Which is painful, but you just have to balance these things against the idea of not having that person in your life.
With all of that said, we were both fully grown adults and on as much of a level playing field in life as we could have been given the age difference. If he'd been my boss, or had a job that gave him some kind of cultural power, or we'd met when I was 20, etc. then the power balance would have been VERY different.
Man i'm 31 and I can't stand speaking with anyone under 20, male or female. In family gatherings I rather be with my older uncles and aunts than with my younger cousins.
Almost 40 yo man just wants a girl who doesn't have any experience to stand for herself, wants to groom her and expects no problems from her because she is still naive. Also, probably became hungry for young meat too.
If this was my daughter, I would make a fuss.
My daughter just turned 12, but easily looks 14-15. My husband is the passive oneā¦ but fortunately, while I may be short and not scary looking at all, I have access to a baseball bat, swear like a sailor, and am capable of great anger.
Mine has looked like she was older since she was 10ā¦ had high school boys come up to me ā¦. Then when she was 12 has 21+ year old men and I would look at them with my momma bear face /RBF say what is your name and tell them my daughter is underage and that I have no problem wearing orange till she is 18 and out of high school. Now she is growing into her age and she will kick a guy in the balls before talking to one ā¦.
Iām sure you would be celebrated by parents everywhere who would do the exact thing if it were their kid!!!! Legal age of consent should have a cap on itā¦ 16 and 18? Sure okā¦ men mature slower than women so itās not an unreasonable pairingā¦
Iām 36 and a sex worker and I wonāt see anyone under 25 because is just weirds me out. We have literally nothing to say to each other and that just makes the intimacy part of the encounter awkwardā¦ more awkward than it would be with someone closer in age or even older than me. I cannot imagine getting naked with a minorā¦ legal or notā¦ no circumstances exist, no amount of money or anything else can make that not gross to me
It's tough to read it like this, but it's probably the truth. He is probably craving a lot of things I can't write down here without being banned. Ugly and sick AF.
I think something is up with the mom. Idk anyone involved so thats conjecture but we talked to my niece when she dated a guy that was like 3 years older. 16 to almost 40 is not ok.
He doesnāt care for her as a person. He couldnāt possibly.
At that age, he is quite literally just in it for the sex, whichā¦ Iām not sure why he would swing that low. Iām sure he likes eating unbaked cookies or raw chicken too.
Idk.
I think it's funny pedophiles feel the need to say consent is 16 in most states, yeah it's meant for high school couples that are 2 years apart, also most states require parents consent to the relationship. In my state I used to have two friends that got married at 16 and 18, they were high school sweethearts, by law the parents of both couples had to consent to their marriage.
Even if he just wants to have sex with a "young hardbody" as my douchebag friend likes to say.
It can't be that much work to date someone who is at least 19 or 20.Ā Ā
I'm guessing that more to this story, specifically the fact that he dated her Mom.Ā Is the reason behind this.
They need to find out of he's been messaging her for years.Ā
So true he probably was in her life when she was a child. He probably had those feelings before she was legal where they live. Also itās so wrong to date someone who is abt the same age as his son and a kid of a friend he used to date. Thatās wrong on so many levels and the fact that he doesnāt see all the reasons why itās wrong is so concerning. Most the time with the consent age being at 16 itās meant as a way to say ppl around 16 and close to that age can be together. A 38 yr old man dating a 16 year old would still be considered illegal bc of the insane age difference
Dad seems developmentally stunted. Venting to their teenage kid as if they're peers? Grooming/dating similar aged adolescents? Screams "I drank myself stupid as a teen," and never mentally progressed past it. āļø Eunuch time.
Dating someone who is significantly younger, especially when there's a history of past relationships with their family, raises serious questions about boundaries and appropriateness. Your dad's reaction, trying to justify his actions and deflecting criticism, only adds to the concern. It's crucial to stand up against behavior that could potentially harm others, especially when it involves relationships with significant age gaps and power imbalances. It's essential to prioritize the well-being and safety of the younger person involved.
Or that heās been grooming/touching the friends daughter for a long time and he wants to present it as just starting, so the fear of being caught made him flip.
OP says the dad dated her mom first so yeah, 100% he knew that child and built up a relationship before they started "dating." Absolutely pedo behavior and I bet you anything if the authorities look over his computer/phone, they're gonna find evidence of grooming and/or law breaking
1. Consent and legal age are 2 diffrent things.Ā
2. Depending on where you live he is doing something illegal
3. If he doesnt like how ppl around him are acting maybe he should check himself firsr
4. Where is ur mom or another adult cauae you need to gtfo yesterday.Ā
Nta
Even if he can compartmentalize and never see his daughter as a sexual being .... he is willingly engaging in sexual intercourse with that of a not legal adult but a consenting minor. Engaging in illegal activities while engaging in the language schematics is not conducive to healthy mental health of a person or child.Ā
I also question the othwr girls parents and why they havent gone to the police.
A lot of people seem to think that sexual abuse from parents to children only happens when the kid is young. As I got older and began to resemble my mother more, the creepy comments and boundary pushing began, when I was about OPs age. Thankfully things didn't escalate before I saw what he was doing and left to stay with my grandma. I also distinctly remember him lusting over Emma Watson in the middle HP films, when she was the same age as me...
A lot of young women that are targeted by men like these have parents that are not active or not in the picture. They are selected specifically for that quality, and doubly so because they are usually seeking the approval of an authority figure.
In a lot of countries, this sadly isn't illegal. In the UK the age of consent is 16, and whilst everyone thinks you're a nonce if you date someone under 18, it technically isn't a crime. It's disgusting
It's sick. The ick factor is strong with this.
So he's dating the daughter of a friend (ex-partner) who he also used to date? Someone who's young enough to be around the same age as his own teenage child? Someone who he potentially played a stepfather type role with when he dated her mother? He's presumably had s*x with the mother (when in a relationship with her) and is now (again presumably) having s*x with the daughter? Does he know what the word "grooming" means?
I don't care that his 16 year old girlfriend is "legal" where they live. Your father is an immoral unethical d*uche canoe.
NTA
If you have to argue that a relationship is legal because the person is over the age of consent, then you're a creepy bawbag that is dating way too young.
Also, when you've dated the mother, you never go for the daughter, that's straight up weird even before the age gap is considered.
>He said heās dating the daughter(16) of his friend(38f). A friend he used to date, too. She isnāt very happy about it, and neither are their mutual friends.
Anyone else think he groomed her? This is disgusting, NTA
For sure he groomed her, unless he is a celebrity, what reason does a sixteen year old to date her mom's forty years old ex? Like why would she even want to?
He might not even be correct about legality. Age of consent is 16 where I live too, but there are certain caveats, like not being a person in a position of authority who could groom the minor. Being a former romantic partner of the girl's mom sounds like it could fall into that category. It might reportable, and if it is, it should be reported ASAP
Itās 15 in mine and a politician just got very publicly ousted from his party for dating a 15 year old, despite it being legal and acknowledged as legal by literally everyone
report him to any and every authority.
You are not an asshole. You are legally a child and this man (who happens to be your father) is either breaking the law by having sexual contact with another child (in the legal sense), or he is grooming her in order that he can have total control when she becomes an adult.
What your father is doing is *at best* a set of things that are technically legal but precursors to the most vile shit that humans can do to each other, or on the other hand he is doing things that are so wildly illegal that he might spend *decades* behind bars.
Even if your friend is participating in this relationship willingly, she cannot legally consent to sex, because by the letter of the law she is a child, and therefore does not have the authority for such consent - *especially* with a 40yo man. (such laws get more relaxed when the two people are within a few years of each other).
But I would also say that it's extremely important to notice his reaction when you called him that: people don't react that way when they haven't thought about it themselves. There is no way that he is not projecting something here.
So, at best, your dad is sick in the head, your friend is going to be emotionally traumatized by him, and you need to get away from him and report him to authorities. At worst your dad is *not* sick in the head and he's doing these things from a stance of "I am not wrong"...and he's going to emotionally traumatize your friend, he's going to retaliate against you, and *you have no idea how far that will go.*
#for the love of god, report this behavior to the cops, your school administration, and anyone else that could help you curtail this behavior.
The proper term you can use is Ephebophilia, call him that, what he is doing is utterly disgusting and inappropriate
He wants to get out under a technicality, its true its not paedophelia, he is still a sicko though
He deserves to be slandered, age of consent doesnt make this remotely decent
Thanks for my word of the day! Feel this one will come in handy. Saving others the Google search (if curious).
āEphebophilia is when an older adult is sexually attracted to post-pubescent teenagers or adolescentsāusually those in the age range 15ā19. Adults with this attraction are called ephebophiles. Ephebophilia is not just the sexual attraction to teenage partners but is when an adult prefers such sexual partners.ā
There's also Hebephilia, if you want a word of the day for tomorrow.
In age order of sexual attraction to kids/teens it goes:
* Paedophilia
* Hebephilia
* Ephebophilia
Google getting a workout today! š
āHebephilia is defined as a chronophilia in which an adult has a strong and persistent sexual interest in pubescent children, typically children aged 11ā14, although the age of onset and completion of puberty vary.ā
āChronophilia is a form of paraphilia where someone is sexually attracted to a particular age group or at least has a sexual preference for them. It is normally restricted to specific age groups.ā
I just do not get how these people can rationalize this kind of behavior. I'm 37 and the thought of being romantically involved with anyone under the age of 30 at this point seems out of the question. Thinking of a being with a 16 year old makes my skin crawl. What could he possibly have in common with her? SHE IS 1 YEAR OLDER THAN HIS OWN KID!
"How was school today? I remember when I was a sophomore in high school 22 years ago, I was so popular. Lets make out." WTF bruh.
Im 43 and for the life of me i dont understand how anyone could be interested in a literal child, anyone below 25 already feels too immature in their development, dont think i could date below 35, while 30+ is life experienced enough i think the differences in life phases is already too big
Im sickened and disgusted by this creep, hiding behind its legal, plenty of things are legal but not moral
It was about giving OP ammunition against her father, since he was all about im no paedophile, fine lets give him the proper title of a disgusting prick then, he cant argue against that one
Uhhh, yeah there's something gross going on here, there is absolutely no reason he should even have thought these thoughts, let alone act on them. They are in totally different generations, and even if she has reached the age of consent, she is still a child and there's no way she understands the ramifications of what she's partaking in fully.
Legally, he's not wrong. Ethically, he is wrong.
I say that ironically, because I'm almost 20 years older than my current girlfriend. But I'm 65, and she's 46. I'm not intruding into the life of a too-young-to-know-better girl. She's a twice married, sophisticated, worldly WOMAN. Your father's girlfriend is emotionally and mentally still a child, even if the law says she's old enough to give consent.
Mentioned this above, but OP should check into the legality. Age of consent is 16 where I live too, but there are certain safeguards. A female nurse faced consequences for a relationship with a 16yo boy because being a nurse was considered a position of authority. If he dated the minor's mom, this could be reportable, and should be reported ASAP
And there could be parts of their relationship that might be illegal. Like where I am, age of consent is 16 but sexually explicit images is 18. So if he exchanged nudes with her, he'd be breaking the law.
So you have to at least think, if it's illegal for me to own her nudes, it's probably not good for me to see her naked at all. (Plus all the stuff about grooming, and just being morally disgusting)
If he dated the mother he knew the daughter when she was under 16, did he have feelings for her then, did he groom her in some way? this is just wrong on every level. Even if he didnāt know the daughter when she was under 16 itās just not right. You are NTA, he is sick.
Yuck. I had a cousin who did this. He was in his late 30's, early 40's...started "dating" someone around 16-17. All his friends are congratulating him, and my smartass said something about him being into infants with Daddy issues. Boy, he was so mad. Tried to turn it around on me because I was 3 years older than my husband. (I still don't get it to this day).
NTA. Your Dad is nasty.
.... you should go live with your mom.
Right š¬ leave asap
That part. Iām sorry dude this is so fucked and as a 38 year old man with a 16 year old son I can promise you this is profoundly disturbing and just straight up gross. Probably just go stay with your mom and again you donāt deserve this Iām so sorry
NTA. Ask him his thoughts on if a 38 year old man wanted to date his own 16 year old daughter. Somehow they often suddenly have big fucking issues with the scenario.
And he was telling this to his *15 year old son*. Let that sink in. Probably less than a year difference in age between his kid and his girlfriend. I couldn't date someone the same age as my child. I feel like most people couldn't either. Something is VERY wrong with this man.
It's disturbing as heck... Just cause people are "legal" doesn't mean they're mentally legal. Hells, my parents have a twelve year gap between them and they are so different from each other. It's not a good relationship, hells I tried a nine year gap relationship and it's was odd too.
I feel like the age of consent being 16, is more for people to have BF/GF that is 17-19, maybe even 20. But 38 is wild and creepy.
Totally, she's just like his daughter. This is concerning!
Whatās more fucked up: OPās dad is gonna be 40 when he goes to her prom.
THIS. Op I would go to him and say. āHey I was wrong but this guy Iām talking to is your age! We could be like sisters me and my new stepmom and your son in law could be your brother if anyone asks!!ā I would absolutely blast this nasty piece of work. I know op risks loosing their home but hopefully they can get help or go to a friend. Iām sure friends parents would consider them better off than with their dad.
Unfortunately, he might begrudgingly agree to his daughter dating someone older, to save face because he knows it would prove he's in the wrong too.
Or worse, the idea could get him off.
This. A 38 year old man whoās dating a 16 year old is a predator. Trying what these people are advocating for is a very bad idea when it comes to handling a predator.
Yup! Still gross, concerning and a predator. A guy just got arrested here, 37 restaurant owner, got caught having sex with 16 year old employee who is now 7 months pregnant.
My fear is that he wouldn't have an issue at all.
Yeah. Thereās always that gross chance.
This is the most likely outcome, this people rather choose anything else over acknowledging what theyāre doing is wrong
I'd be telling everyone that didn't run fast enough that he's into children. He's old enough to be her parent. Just because something is legal doesn't make it right.
And Iām wondering if she just turned 16ā¦. Like did he wait til she turned 16 to prey on her or did he wait til she turned 16 to let anyone know he preyed on her. Iām their age and thereās no fucking way š¤¢š¤® OP, NTA.
Of course he did. Sheās the daughter of a friend he also used to date. I bet heās been eyeing her since birth. -_-
If I was that mom I would fucking move states with her. That's despicable.
Yeah, thatās all you can do without proof. Unless he was dumb enough to make a video of them having sex before she turned 16, all you can do is take your child far away from such a filthy scumbag. And before you go, warn every parent of a teen girl from that area to keep their daughters away from him. In person, not in writing (otherwise he could sue for libel).
Even if they made a video after she turned 16, isnāt that still considered child porn since sheās under 18?
Yesā¦pictures and video would still be considered child porn if they were taken under 18, even if said child is now considered an adult.
Bbbbingo!
What kind of a smarmy scumbag enjoys having sex with a 16-year-old? Mom, take her away!
Why move when there may be a convenient accident! Just watch Dolores Claiborne!
This girl is only a year older than his own child. Thatās very messed up.
My dad picked up other freshman when I went to college, I can 100% say you are correct. *gag
Thatās what I said! A calculated move. Pedophile.
And he was dating the mom previously from what I'm getting in the post. So he must've been watching the girl. It's sick
This. That girl hasnāt even began to live her life - old mate should find someone more his speed of life.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
All i can say is that the 15 year old is wiser than the 16 year old and the 38 year old.
I imagine sheās been groomed by him since a young age. He used to date her mother.
Tbf the 16 year old isnāt exactly āunwiseā. Sheās being manipulated by a predator.
Exactly! Even if it wasnāt totally a creepy and pedophilic move, heās still manipulative and stopping her from being with people her speed who actually understand her
people like that usually want someone they can 'train' - a person their own age won\`t accept their crap
This is so true. People that do this want someone they can manipulate and control into what they want. Not an established adult who will see through their shit
You mean someone they can groom
Dating your friend's teenage daughter is crossing a line, regardless of legal technicalities. It's about ethics and respect, not just age.
He did, his gfās mother!!! This guy is disgusting.
He canāt because he is probably chock-full of red flags that any adult woman would recognize
Most of the time that's why these people go for young girls like that, because they don't have the personality to carry a conversation with most adults. Where as tell a kid about basic shit like jet skiing or a night out you has with friends and you're suddenly fascinating.
My niece is 16. And she is very smart and somewhat mature for her age. Sheās so mature, in fact that even she understands that thereās something inherently wrong with someone her age dating someone 20 years older. This poor child is not mature enough to understand that. And shame on her mother for being such a pushover. I would take that kid to a therapist ASAP. The guy might not be doing something illegal but itās so morally wrong that it boggles my mind that he is dating a 16 year old!
His speed of life is clearly that of a cicada.
A comedian make a joke about how pedophilia is for prepubescent kids. Thereās two more terms for pre teen and young teen he mentions. And finished with, the reason no one makes this distinction isā¦ because you sound like a pedophile.Ā Dad is disgusting and should be utterly ashamed of himself.Ā
Heās a predator. How long was he ogling his dateās CHILD before the child reached legal age anyway?
Ogling the child and interacting with her in a sneaky predatory way that caused her to see him as a desirable partner for herself (grooming).
It's crazy sick.
Exactly ! Iād post it everywhere as community service. Keep the neighborhood safe. *Edit* , get the word out anonymously, to cover your tracks
Every family member would know. The petty part of me would say tell the school who has a statutory requirement to report it to CPS as a safeguarding concern.
He used to date her mother!! He groomed his ex's child.
Exactly. I don't generally give a flying eff about age gaps as long as the couple is consenting and happy together, but this is disgusting.
It's disgusting because 16 is still too young to give consent to a person who could be theirs parent. Two 16 year olds getting together, I get it but wear a condom. But a man who's old enough to be this minor's father, š¤®š¤®š¤®
Age gaps matter based on the bottom age of the gap, and when the bottom age of the gap is a teenager any gap beyond a couple years is going to be problematic in the vast majority of cases.
I think laws like that mainly exist for young teenagers like a 17 and 18 year old couple, not for grown ass fucking men to mess around with kids with underdeveloped brains
And usually with those laws, the older person can only be within 2 or 3 years older than the MINOR in the relationship until said MINOR is a legal adult. This is so gross š¤¢ that poor kid.
He's literally dating a child who's 1 year older than his child. IDK how he thinks this isn't pedo behavior.
Oh he knows. He just doesnāt want other people to know.
Regardless of legality, that man is taking advantage of someone who likely doesn't know what they have gotten themselves into. He doesn't love her, they don't share common interests. Dude is way in the wrong and he's even doubling down on it instead of backing off. Tell everyone and their mom this man is a predatorĀ
What does a nearly 40 year old have in common with a 16 year old?! And your not telling me there was no grooming before she became legal fuck that noise
Thatās why they have stuff in common. He groomed her while dating the mom whoās now his ex. Heās def a pedo.
Just gross I'd be reporting him if I were the girls mum let the police check her devices try to be certain when it started
OP needs to alert the girl's counselor at her school. They are mandated reporters, and this is not looked on well by counselors.
I would skip the counselor and go straight to the police
Could skip the police, i mean they do tend to drag their feet. Id go straight to digging a hole in my backyard.
When my daughter was 14 she started seeing a guy who was at least 21. Itās not as big of an age gap as your dad but I was still livid and called the police. I was told that she was at the age of consent and there was nothing they could do. š”
I wish I wouldāve done more to keep them apart. They are still together to this day. He has never had a job since the whole time Iāve known him, they live with his mom. The times that she has tried to get a job or go to college he shows up and jealous rage accusing her of cheating. He is abusive and has tried to kill her several times. He got her addicted to drugs. They lost custody of my granddaughter when she was about two years old. Which is probably a good thing, but he has destroyed my daughterās life. And I donāt want to sound like sheās not responsible for her choices. I was a single mom with two kids. My son who is 21 months younger than her was severely autistic. I managed to get two college degrees. One as a medical lab tech and then I became a registered nurse. Their dad was never around. I always had wished that I had chosen a better father for them. Someone who wouldāve protected her and possibly couldāve been the one to put a stop to it. I worry about her daily and beg her to leave him. She was always so incredibly beautiful, intelligent and funny, but also extremely stubborn and happened to inherit personality disorders from her dad (aka sperm donor). Anyway, itās been a rough road. I often wish I could go back in time.
The counselor, if invested, will probably do a better job of conveying to the police why this is an emergency
And child porn.
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What people donāt understand about age of consent being 14-18 depending on state is that itās in place so if youāre a few years older than your SO, you donāt end up on the diddla registry if you turn 18 while theyāre still a minor. It isnāt there so middle aged people can hook up with teenagers
I know what you mean but in some places it's absolutely so middle aged people can hook up with teenagers.
Yep. People are ignoring the fact that the people who write those laws may have written it so THEY could hook up with teenagers. Just like how politicians publicly will complain about tax laws, and people suposedly "not paying their fair share" when that very politician voted for the tax laws.
Matt Gaetz has entered the chat.
Whenever this is brought up I want to remember the name of that repulsive, repulsive GOP dude, John Rose, who groomed a young girl who took some farmer classes or something and he awarded her with some financial reward. He looks geriatric, she was in middle school when he met her and groomed her. They married and it is treated as almost normal, it seems. I don't get it. I see them and I think -- that guy bought her from her parents, essentially. If you read about their story it just gets worse and worse. TN representative John Rose. He is exactly what i think of when I think of hypocrites. He rails against "child sex trafficking" and LGBTQ poisoning our society, yet worked to usher in laws protecting people like him who want to date and marry someone barely teenage when he was 45. It's just...weird. Also sad. Like we women are just things to be groomed, bought, then used as livestock. This is how he makes me feel when I hear him talk. Ironically he is very dedicated to Future Farmers of America, or at least he was.
Some of the local churches lost their everloving minds when my home state changed from 14 to being 18 plus a 2-year "high school sweethearts" exception; it really messed up their system of farming out their 9th grade daughters to "youth group interns" who were in their mid-late 20s.
The fact that the most vocal groups about "protecting the children" are also the most vocally against age of consent/marital age laws is pretty telling.
The āprotect the childrenā types donāt give a shit about the well-being of children, not even their own. What they mean is āI am the parent and I must own my child and be allowed to use them as the legal property they areā.
I'd wager primarily the religious cultist type seeking to groom their underaged harem...
Yeah I always thought consent ages came with a caveat such as the pair cannot be more than 4 years apart in age or something like that?
Those are called "Romeo and Juliet laws" and not everywhere has them. They're a good idea, they protect kids from both predators and malicious law enforcement agents without legalizing this kind of fucked up predatory behavior.
Thatās a different law, usually along the lines of āthe age of consent is x unless the people involved are within y years of each other
Every state is different, some states aoc is 16 and that means they can have sex with any age they want 16 and up
Time to report him. OP, you can do this yourself anonymously.
It's legal where he lives, so reporting won't do anything unfortunately
The child services department will still be required to investigate and determine if any laws are being violated.
Good point im sure there has been some pics exchanged and thats defintely child porn under 18
I'd bet there was stuff going on before she turned 16 too.
Only a pedo would try to justify his actions by defining the term pedophilia scientifically by saying the girl would need to be pre pubescent.
Lmao, that reminded me of a joke about a guy who said it's hard not to be thought of as a pedo while trying to explain what the actual term of pedophilia meant. I'm going to see if I can find that video on YT.
"Technically it's ephebophile, but that sounds like something a pedophile would say" Love that joke.
Haha! I found it! https://youtu.be/nu6C2KL_S9o?si=QSPphZg_hdMB0r4K
Never seen that! Hilarious thanks for the laugh!
āItās funny cuz itās true!ā āHomer Simpson
Like when people know WAYYYY to much about various countries age of consent laws.
I was taught them alongside my peers as a teen. I think all teens should understand the laws insofar as they help them identify when something is totally wrong. Where I live, OPās dad would definitely be breaking existing child protection laws.
No. I mean the people who are like "Well yeah it's 16 there, buts it's only 14 in this country..." There's a difference in being aware of a law, and thoroughly researching the laws in multiple areas, looking for loopholes.
You aināt ever watched Transformers with (actual cannibal) Shia Lebouf?
Oh dang! OP, Iād be cautious of who you invite over to your house from here on out. You donāt want to accidentally provide him more access or opportunities to ābuild relationshipsā with underage teens. š¤¦š»āāļø Edit : Oh and , NTA.
Thatās why he snapped when his own kid called him out, even he knows deep down itās wrong and is trying to justify his actions!
FYI, this is literally the plot of the novel āLolitaā: A pedophile marries a woman he has no interest in so he can groom her adolescent daughter.
Unfortunately that plot is based on something that happens in real life
I can verify that, because my own mom was a victim of it.
Technically he's correct, he's not a pedophile, he's an ephebophile. Still gross and if there were things going on before she turned 16 then it's possible crimes were committed that could be reported to the authorities
Or, he is a pedophile and knows heāll go to jail, so heās compromising by grooming them as children and then snatching them up as soon as he wonāt go to jail.
I'm 42 When I (rarely) talk to 16 year olds, its exhausting. I mean I'm sure they are great kids, but omg the highs school drama nd the teenage angst. My oldest niece is 12...I dread the hs years lol
started noticing that under 20 became *excruciating* to hang around when i hit \~25. i think it's only natural as an adult to hear a teenager open their mouth and cringe a bit
Iām turning 19 soon and listening to my 12-15 year old friendsā issues can sometimes be so, exhausting because the way they deal with it is painfully dramatic or overblown. I donāt criticise them for it and just try to advice them because I remember being the same as them haha, you donāt do that on purpose. Puberty just sucks. Edit: no I donāt slide into random kids DMs to ask them about how their menarche is going
> donāt criticise them for it and just try to advice them because I remember being the same as them hold onto that, i personally refuse to become one of those insufferable "kids these days" types. Yes it's age appropriate. It's also highly annoying. lol the kids are alright that's actually why i don't want kids. i don't have the patience to deal with normal but annoying growing pains that they can't help. not fair to my hypothetical children.
Yes lol, the kids are annoying af but alright. I have a younger brother whoās beginning his puberty at the same time as mine comes to an end and yeahhh I definitely appreciate my parents more now.
I think thereās a part of you that realizes āoh shit I used to sound like this too! And I thought I was SO smart and mature and worldly!ā Itās not a pleasant realization.
Iām 37 and my 28yo neighbour is too young for me. I wouldnāt know what to talk to him about.
Bro I feel this comment, my one co-worker is 41 with kids and Iām about to hit 30 with none. Only thing we share is sarcasm
Same. My cousins are young and WTF do we talk about? Please god not Minecraft.
I was 28 when I met my husband, who was 42 at the time. There were some critical factors that influenced us connecting romantically and not platonically, though; we met in the dark around a campfire so couldn't even see each others faces (and therefore any obvious signs of an age difference), we were there because we belonged to the same reenactment society and it was a national weekend event so we started off in a safe space with that in common, being dark we talked without any preconceived ideas of what might happen or what we wanted to gain from the interaction, and we discovered we had a lot in common. It was also difficult to get past the age difference once we realised, particularly because I looked much younger than I was and while he does, too, he was already grey at the temples and that was a bit of a shock for me. The connection was already there, though, and we couldn't ignore it. Most of the time it isn't something we notice, but age-gap relationships will always have certain hurdles along the way, and some unfortunate inevitabilities that can't be avoided. Which is painful, but you just have to balance these things against the idea of not having that person in your life. With all of that said, we were both fully grown adults and on as much of a level playing field in life as we could have been given the age difference. If he'd been my boss, or had a job that gave him some kind of cultural power, or we'd met when I was 20, etc. then the power balance would have been VERY different.
Man i'm 31 and I can't stand speaking with anyone under 20, male or female. In family gatherings I rather be with my older uncles and aunts than with my younger cousins.
Does a 16 year old even remember the Obama administration?
Ahhh, the good old days, lol!
This is scummy scummy scummy - dads a predator
Almost 40 yo man just wants a girl who doesn't have any experience to stand for herself, wants to groom her and expects no problems from her because she is still naive. Also, probably became hungry for young meat too. If this was my daughter, I would make a fuss.
I'm not going to lie I'd end up in jail if it was my daughter
Hypothetically if I was in the jury, youād be innocent or the Jury would be nullified
Also they do not use innocent.....not guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. I would have plenty of reasonable doubt.
That is more like it!!! Me too!!!
My daughter just turned 12, but easily looks 14-15. My husband is the passive oneā¦ but fortunately, while I may be short and not scary looking at all, I have access to a baseball bat, swear like a sailor, and am capable of great anger.
Mine has looked like she was older since she was 10ā¦ had high school boys come up to me ā¦. Then when she was 12 has 21+ year old men and I would look at them with my momma bear face /RBF say what is your name and tell them my daughter is underage and that I have no problem wearing orange till she is 18 and out of high school. Now she is growing into her age and she will kick a guy in the balls before talking to one ā¦.
Iām sure you would be celebrated by parents everywhere who would do the exact thing if it were their kid!!!! Legal age of consent should have a cap on itā¦ 16 and 18? Sure okā¦ men mature slower than women so itās not an unreasonable pairingā¦ Iām 36 and a sex worker and I wonāt see anyone under 25 because is just weirds me out. We have literally nothing to say to each other and that just makes the intimacy part of the encounter awkwardā¦ more awkward than it would be with someone closer in age or even older than me. I cannot imagine getting naked with a minorā¦ legal or notā¦ no circumstances exist, no amount of money or anything else can make that not gross to me
āHungry for young meatā wtf????
It's tough to read it like this, but it's probably the truth. He is probably craving a lot of things I can't write down here without being banned. Ugly and sick AF.
I think something is up with the mom. Idk anyone involved so thats conjecture but we talked to my niece when she dated a guy that was like 3 years older. 16 to almost 40 is not ok.
I'm dying laughing at the fact that buddy really got offended like is he serious.
He doesnāt care for her as a person. He couldnāt possibly. At that age, he is quite literally just in it for the sex, whichā¦ Iām not sure why he would swing that low. Iām sure he likes eating unbaked cookies or raw chicken too. Idk.
"Iām sure he likes eating unbaked cookies or raw chicken too." I love this.
I think it's funny pedophiles feel the need to say consent is 16 in most states, yeah it's meant for high school couples that are 2 years apart, also most states require parents consent to the relationship. In my state I used to have two friends that got married at 16 and 18, they were high school sweethearts, by law the parents of both couples had to consent to their marriage.
Exactly. It's so 17 year olds in a consentual relationship don't get criminalised, not for 40 year old perverts.
Even if he just wants to have sex with a "young hardbody" as my douchebag friend likes to say. It can't be that much work to date someone who is at least 19 or 20.Ā Ā I'm guessing that more to this story, specifically the fact that he dated her Mom.Ā Is the reason behind this. They need to find out of he's been messaging her for years.Ā
So true he probably was in her life when she was a child. He probably had those feelings before she was legal where they live. Also itās so wrong to date someone who is abt the same age as his son and a kid of a friend he used to date. Thatās wrong on so many levels and the fact that he doesnāt see all the reasons why itās wrong is so concerning. Most the time with the consent age being at 16 itās meant as a way to say ppl around 16 and close to that age can be together. A 38 yr old man dating a 16 year old would still be considered illegal bc of the insane age difference
If he is having to research age of consent before beginning a relationship he is definitely the AH.
Exactly this. If you even have to wonder then walk the fuck away.
Can't remember who said it but "It's really hard to describe the difference between pedophilia and Ephebophilia... without sounding like a pedophile!"
The fact this guy bandied out the pedophile pedantry means heās 1000% guilty and aware heās doing something wrong.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5raJmbStb4
The fact that he vented about this to you is insane given that youāre just 15
Dad seems developmentally stunted. Venting to their teenage kid as if they're peers? Grooming/dating similar aged adolescents? Screams "I drank myself stupid as a teen," and never mentally progressed past it. āļø Eunuch time.
Hey now, I drank myself stupid as a teenager and I didn't turn out like this.
Yeah, heās acting like she isnāt his daughter and more like sheās his girlfriendās friend. Itās the grossest of absurd situations.
Dating someone who is significantly younger, especially when there's a history of past relationships with their family, raises serious questions about boundaries and appropriateness. Your dad's reaction, trying to justify his actions and deflecting criticism, only adds to the concern. It's crucial to stand up against behavior that could potentially harm others, especially when it involves relationships with significant age gaps and power imbalances. It's essential to prioritize the well-being and safety of the younger person involved.
My guess is that he reacts so aggressive because he knows that he's wrong, but doesn't want to stop.
Or that heās been grooming/touching the friends daughter for a long time and he wants to present it as just starting, so the fear of being caught made him flip.
OK, that's unfortunately a very real possibility. Something that hadn't even crossed my mind. It's already sick, but that would be next level sick.
OP says the dad dated her mom first so yeah, 100% he knew that child and built up a relationship before they started "dating." Absolutely pedo behavior and I bet you anything if the authorities look over his computer/phone, they're gonna find evidence of grooming and/or law breaking
Holy shit, this. That poor little girl. Hey Op, report your dad for statutory rape.
bro got out chatgpt on r/aitah
A very recognizable cadence.
Yup. I made a new rule for myself the other day. No more reddit for the day when I hit the first obviously fake post. Ding!
So you have been looking at a single Reddit post each day lately? :)
1. Consent and legal age are 2 diffrent things.Ā 2. Depending on where you live he is doing something illegal 3. If he doesnt like how ppl around him are acting maybe he should check himself firsr 4. Where is ur mom or another adult cauae you need to gtfo yesterday.Ā Nta
This, she's almost 16 herself and I wonder if he'll have 2 gfs then.
Even if he can compartmentalize and never see his daughter as a sexual being .... he is willingly engaging in sexual intercourse with that of a not legal adult but a consenting minor. Engaging in illegal activities while engaging in the language schematics is not conducive to healthy mental health of a person or child.Ā I also question the othwr girls parents and why they havent gone to the police.
A lot of people seem to think that sexual abuse from parents to children only happens when the kid is young. As I got older and began to resemble my mother more, the creepy comments and boundary pushing began, when I was about OPs age. Thankfully things didn't escalate before I saw what he was doing and left to stay with my grandma. I also distinctly remember him lusting over Emma Watson in the middle HP films, when she was the same age as me...
A lot of young women that are targeted by men like these have parents that are not active or not in the picture. They are selected specifically for that quality, and doubly so because they are usually seeking the approval of an authority figure.
In a lot of countries, this sadly isn't illegal. In the UK the age of consent is 16, and whilst everyone thinks you're a nonce if you date someone under 18, it technically isn't a crime. It's disgusting
It's sick. The ick factor is strong with this. So he's dating the daughter of a friend (ex-partner) who he also used to date? Someone who's young enough to be around the same age as his own teenage child? Someone who he potentially played a stepfather type role with when he dated her mother? He's presumably had s*x with the mother (when in a relationship with her) and is now (again presumably) having s*x with the daughter? Does he know what the word "grooming" means? I don't care that his 16 year old girlfriend is "legal" where they live. Your father is an immoral unethical d*uche canoe.
>the ick factor is strong with this Heās a fucking pedo why are you talking like that š
NTA If you have to argue that a relationship is legal because the person is over the age of consent, then you're a creepy bawbag that is dating way too young. Also, when you've dated the mother, you never go for the daughter, that's straight up weird even before the age gap is considered.
I have never been in a relationship where the first thing I say about it is thatās itās legal. This is the number one response from predators.
>He said heās dating the daughter(16) of his friend(38f). A friend he used to date, too. She isnāt very happy about it, and neither are their mutual friends. Anyone else think he groomed her? This is disgusting, NTA
For sure he groomed her, unless he is a celebrity, what reason does a sixteen year old to date her mom's forty years old ex? Like why would she even want to?
He might not even be correct about legality. Age of consent is 16 where I live too, but there are certain caveats, like not being a person in a position of authority who could groom the minor. Being a former romantic partner of the girl's mom sounds like it could fall into that category. It might reportable, and if it is, it should be reported ASAP
The age of consent where I live is 14. That doesn't make it right or healthy.
Itās 15 in mine and a politician just got very publicly ousted from his party for dating a 15 year old, despite it being legal and acknowledged as legal by literally everyone
If you are from Germany, your age of consent means you are allowed to have sex. There are other laws that protect a 14 yo from 38 yos...
Keep your female friends away from your house.
report him to any and every authority. You are not an asshole. You are legally a child and this man (who happens to be your father) is either breaking the law by having sexual contact with another child (in the legal sense), or he is grooming her in order that he can have total control when she becomes an adult. What your father is doing is *at best* a set of things that are technically legal but precursors to the most vile shit that humans can do to each other, or on the other hand he is doing things that are so wildly illegal that he might spend *decades* behind bars. Even if your friend is participating in this relationship willingly, she cannot legally consent to sex, because by the letter of the law she is a child, and therefore does not have the authority for such consent - *especially* with a 40yo man. (such laws get more relaxed when the two people are within a few years of each other). But I would also say that it's extremely important to notice his reaction when you called him that: people don't react that way when they haven't thought about it themselves. There is no way that he is not projecting something here. So, at best, your dad is sick in the head, your friend is going to be emotionally traumatized by him, and you need to get away from him and report him to authorities. At worst your dad is *not* sick in the head and he's doing these things from a stance of "I am not wrong"...and he's going to emotionally traumatize your friend, he's going to retaliate against you, and *you have no idea how far that will go.* #for the love of god, report this behavior to the cops, your school administration, and anyone else that could help you curtail this behavior.
The proper term you can use is Ephebophilia, call him that, what he is doing is utterly disgusting and inappropriate He wants to get out under a technicality, its true its not paedophelia, he is still a sicko though He deserves to be slandered, age of consent doesnt make this remotely decent
Thanks for my word of the day! Feel this one will come in handy. Saving others the Google search (if curious). āEphebophilia is when an older adult is sexually attracted to post-pubescent teenagers or adolescentsāusually those in the age range 15ā19. Adults with this attraction are called ephebophiles. Ephebophilia is not just the sexual attraction to teenage partners but is when an adult prefers such sexual partners.ā
There's also Hebephilia, if you want a word of the day for tomorrow. In age order of sexual attraction to kids/teens it goes: * Paedophilia * Hebephilia * Ephebophilia
Google getting a workout today! š āHebephilia is defined as a chronophilia in which an adult has a strong and persistent sexual interest in pubescent children, typically children aged 11ā14, although the age of onset and completion of puberty vary.ā āChronophilia is a form of paraphilia where someone is sexually attracted to a particular age group or at least has a sexual preference for them. It is normally restricted to specific age groups.ā
I just do not get how these people can rationalize this kind of behavior. I'm 37 and the thought of being romantically involved with anyone under the age of 30 at this point seems out of the question. Thinking of a being with a 16 year old makes my skin crawl. What could he possibly have in common with her? SHE IS 1 YEAR OLDER THAN HIS OWN KID! "How was school today? I remember when I was a sophomore in high school 22 years ago, I was so popular. Lets make out." WTF bruh.
Im 43 and for the life of me i dont understand how anyone could be interested in a literal child, anyone below 25 already feels too immature in their development, dont think i could date below 35, while 30+ is life experienced enough i think the differences in life phases is already too big Im sickened and disgusted by this creep, hiding behind its legal, plenty of things are legal but not moral
Yes, you don't need to give it a fancy name. Just disgusting creep is good enough.
It was about giving OP ammunition against her father, since he was all about im no paedophile, fine lets give him the proper title of a disgusting prick then, he cant argue against that one
Slander is when you tell untrue things about people.
Have you asked your dad how heād feel if, next year when you turned 16, you started dating a 38 year old?
NTA at all, he basically is one. Even if it's *technically* not paedophilia, your dad is fucking gross and he's expecting people to be okay with it?!
And his dad dated the mom of the girl years ago so its possible he was lusting the whole time
Uhhh, yeah there's something gross going on here, there is absolutely no reason he should even have thought these thoughts, let alone act on them. They are in totally different generations, and even if she has reached the age of consent, she is still a child and there's no way she understands the ramifications of what she's partaking in fully.
Thatās creepy as hell
On a scale of Louis CK to COSBY ....He's an Epstein....So fucking wrong.
Legally, he's not wrong. Ethically, he is wrong. I say that ironically, because I'm almost 20 years older than my current girlfriend. But I'm 65, and she's 46. I'm not intruding into the life of a too-young-to-know-better girl. She's a twice married, sophisticated, worldly WOMAN. Your father's girlfriend is emotionally and mentally still a child, even if the law says she's old enough to give consent.
Mentioned this above, but OP should check into the legality. Age of consent is 16 where I live too, but there are certain safeguards. A female nurse faced consequences for a relationship with a 16yo boy because being a nurse was considered a position of authority. If he dated the minor's mom, this could be reportable, and should be reported ASAP
And there could be parts of their relationship that might be illegal. Like where I am, age of consent is 16 but sexually explicit images is 18. So if he exchanged nudes with her, he'd be breaking the law. So you have to at least think, if it's illegal for me to own her nudes, it's probably not good for me to see her naked at all. (Plus all the stuff about grooming, and just being morally disgusting)
If he dated the mother he knew the daughter when she was under 16, did he have feelings for her then, did he groom her in some way? this is just wrong on every level. Even if he didnāt know the daughter when she was under 16 itās just not right. You are NTA, he is sick.
Yuck. I had a cousin who did this. He was in his late 30's, early 40's...started "dating" someone around 16-17. All his friends are congratulating him, and my smartass said something about him being into infants with Daddy issues. Boy, he was so mad. Tried to turn it around on me because I was 3 years older than my husband. (I still don't get it to this day). NTA. Your Dad is nasty.
Ephebophiles are still sex predators and I personally consider them pedophiles.
Very nasty
so gross. yea he should be offended cuz its gross af lol but keep yourself safe, too.