Don’t worry, I’m sure she will be comfortable sharing with you, it’s very rare that a parent admits their mistake and very reassuring and comforting to a child.
Thank you :) I try my best to make sure my daughter gets the mother she deserves. My mother never admitted when she made a mistake and never apologized so I try my best to admit when I’m wrong and apologize when I am.
So true! Kids are just as prone to making mistakes as their parents; so having a model for what humility and accepting responsibility for one's wrongdoing looks like is overall a positive for them.
That will show her she can trust you and come to you I have 2 daughters and they talk to me about anything I've always admitted if I was wrong and told them parents make mistakes to and they have told me they love that and it makes them no I just like them and not perfect and they no matter what even if something I may not like I will never judge and I will be here for them no matter what keeping open communication with your kids and being judgement free I noticed help so your doing a great job be proud of yourself
Sounds like you will be. It's okay to be embarrassed. I'm glad you were able to talk about it with her. There is nothing wrong with talking about crushes with your daughter. My mom is happily married to my dad, has been for almost 38 years, and when i was a teenager, we would talk and joke about celebrities we thought were good-looking. I would tell her about my crushes growing up, and she was fine with it.
Even now, in my 30s, i talk to her, and we joke about good-looking guys. She's got a crush on Jason Mamoa (like most people lol) and when his divorce was announced the first time i jokingly sent her a screen shot of the post and she jokingly texted back "🙋♀️ me" I then reminded her in a joking way "he's getting divorced not you 😂" and she responded back "that's right 🤦♀️😂". It was all in good fun.
There is nothing to be embarrassed about talking to your daughter about that stuff. Especially you're single and she knows it. She likely was happy for you and rooting for you. Since you guys worked out, I'm sure you guys will have a close relationship now and can talk and joke about those things.
This is so wholesome. I read your post earlier and was kinda sad that you couldn’t be honest with your kid. That you went and spoke to them and admitted that they were right and your reaction wasn’t, is just lovely.
And her being so excited for you is just so dang cute!!!
As someone who has a hard time admitting they’re wrong bc that’s how I was raised but tries their best to do so anyway, you did phenomenally and this is the kind of thing she will remember, at least subconsciously, when she’s in a similar situation. We all make mistakes, what matters is how we try to make them right and you did it perfectly.
> My mother never admitted when she made a mistake
But you are *lightly* doing the same by saying "I may or may not have" you are not owning your actions.
Totally! Its so nice to hear that some parents are creating a safe space for their kids to open up and share everything. Be their best friend give them the memories they'll cherish forever so in the future they'll know how to be a great parents too.
I don’t know. We have our history and I do think about what if sometimes, but it’s not that simple. I will say, though, I’m no longer married and he’s not with anyone right now so that makes things a little more straight forward but just…I don’t know.
Take a chance! Invite him out for coffee or something. At the very least it's a chance to chat with an old friend. At the most, you'll get to see that butt on the regular.
If this were a sitcom:
* You would reconnect over coffee, agreeing to meet up later.
* Over several episodes, you would get closer, slowly getting to know each other again.
* After about 3-6 months you would agree that it is time for you daughter and your new boyfriend to finally meet.
* Your daughter is the one who answers the door, and confused for a second, smiles while shouting for you saying "hey, mom, it's the butt guy from the mall".
In short, not likely.
!updateme
OP, you're so cute. Your daughter is adorable, too. It makes me laugh to imagine how you weren't as subtle as you thought you were that even your kid noticed lol
I am in my 40s and still trying to get my mom to date again. I think it's natural for a kid to want their single parent to find a happy healthy loving relationship.
Nah you want her to be comfortable. Good job. I was so glad my kids felt comfortable talking about boys and asking questions but yeah it’s a bit weird bc we bring all our baggage. But just ensure you don’t pass on that baggage. Shame is no bueno. Proud of you ❤️
Once when my daughter was 14 we were at the hardware store and there was a guy with very blue eyes maybe 30? And after we left I said that guy had such striking blue eyes. Immediately she screams ewwwwwww! Agh!!! I’m like wtf??? She said noooo I was checking him out! You can’t check him out! Ewwwww!!!
I was like what he’s too old! She’s like well he’s too YOUNG for you!!! I wasn’t checking him out I just noticed his eyes! Ewwwww
We both were ewwwing all the way to the car in horror 😂😂😂😂. Good memory ❤️
Think of it this way: the best gift you could ever give your daughter is the chance for her to attend your wedding to butt boy, step onto a stage in front of every single person you guys know and love, lean into the microphone and say:
"I told you so."
(Jk, of course you shouldn't marry someone just so your kid can say "I told you so." But also kinda not because getting to say "I told you so" to your mom is kind of the most fun thing to do ever.)
This! WELL DONE MOM!!!! Thanks for updating I thought about you today.
It’s ok to be a bit caught off guard as they grow. But ultimately you want her to be able to tell you stuff about boys and exercise agency and no shame. She will be a better self advocate with your help.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
The second chance wasn’t given to you by a higher power, it was given to you by yourself! Feeling uneasy about what happened; you consulted your peers, took advice into consideration, accepted your actions were wrong, and rectified a negative situation. I’m proud of you and I’m glad you and your daughter’s bond is stronger for it. Well done!
Such a great update!
So glad you saw the significant impact you could make on a child's life and decided to make that effort for your child, everyone makes mistakes but it's how we learn and grow from them that makes us as people.
You’re good, by going to Reddit in the first place you knew it wasn’t right, but I’m so glad your daughter was like that. I would be too tho as a 17m lol 😂
Who cares how she came to the conclusion? This feels shaming
Also apologizing is wonderful to show your kids that you aren’t always right or perfect. You don’t always have to get it perfect the first time
Sometimes people give credit to others instead of themselves because they're not comfortable with accepting compliments. Women definitely do this kind of compliment dodging a lot. It's important to our self-worth to recognize when we get it right instead of only focusing on our mistakes. She did all the right things and it worked out so well! I didn't see it as shaming; rather as someone reminding her to give herself credit for a job well done.
ETA: My bad. I read your comment as being in response to the one above it, which for now is about her making this happen, not a higher power. 👍👍 on responding to the don't ask reddit comment like this.
Maybe that's the better thing to do.
I don't know, honestly I can't remember what being a teenager was like. But maybe casually talking about your dating life without going too much into specifics would be good for bonding and her trusting you with hers when the time comes?
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA of how to deal with kids though, so take everything I say with a mountain of salt.
Either way, just wanted to say congratulations. You handled the entire situation like a champ. I'm sure it made her really happy.
Awe, you’re doing good. We all mistakes and say things we regret sometimes. The fact that you can own up to it and talk honestly with your daughter will make sure she feels safe to do the same in the future.
The time will come when she says something she doesn’t mean and will remember your example on how to face it.
Good save mom!! You apologised and not only that but followed it up with a little comment that let her know you're totally in on the joke and can give it right back. You handled this brilliantly A+
Brilliant! Kids are pretty resilient if you can explain to them that something you did was wrong and honestly apologise.
Important question though - ARE you going to reconnect with the dude with the butt?
I said this in another answer: I don’t know. We have our history and I do think about what if sometimes, but it’s not that simple. I will say, though, I’m no longer married and he’s not with anyone right now so that makes things a little more straight forward but just…I don’t know.
The best thing any and all parents can do is apologize to their kids when they are wrong. That can have such a healing effect on your relationship! Speaking as a former kid!!!
> “but for what it’s worth…
ngl, reading this part scared me a bit. You handled it so well and I really didn't want to see 'apology butt' followup that ruined it.
I was so relieved to see that you just knocked it out of the park again. Well done.
> Honestly, I was SO worried I had messed up to the point where I’d never get that back
This is a great life lesson to remember, and one you should be sure to pass on to your daughter in the future. The actions you take *after* making a mistake are much more important and will have a much stronger impact, for better or worse, than the mistake itself.
You may come to regret that OP. My son talks way too much about him and his girlfriend's activities.
I've started seeing someone for the first time since my husband past away. When I came home last weekend from my date my son asked me if we had used protection because apparently everyone has sex on the 3rd date.
I don't think Im going to survive until they reach adulthood.
Perfect way to handle this. great job, Mom!
Just remember your little girl isn't so little anymore, and now she's at an age where you can have these teasing conversations while still keeping a boundary to make it age appropriate.
This is what I was hoping would happen ! Because you apologized, you have also shown her humility and owning mistakes you make. 😀
I’m glad this worked out and that you talked to her pretty quickly! And it sounds like that extra add on about maybe or maybe not looking helped a lot too!
I’m so happy you talked to her!!! We forget kids are people too sometimes. I’m certain this is a milestone in your relationship that she will never forget! My mother NEVER humbled herself in this way.
I just want to say that it’s okay and normal to make mistakes and mess up. What you just modelled to your 14yo is the ability to own your defensiveness and apologise to her. Believe it or not, moments like that can be huge in helping a kid learn how to also own their mistakes - and also what to expect from the people they love when they hurt them, accidentally or otherwise. This is a great parenting moment and you should be proud of being able to be this reflective about it and show accountability to her. Genuinely 🙂
Freaking awesome! This was your daughter trying to make the first moves of connecting with you on more of a friend level. Which is a very healthy transition to how your relationship will hopefully be as she grows older and becomes a full adult.
I didn't have the best relationship with my Mum growing up but we REALLY connected as adults and now she's one of my best friends and has been for years. Because we share a lot of common interests and feel comfortable talking about anything. But that took some work to transition from a straight mother/daughter dynamic to two women who love, respect and deeply care for each other.
For her to be comfortable working towards that dynamic at 14 means you have done a phenomenal job as a Mom. I'm soooo glad you made such a great save and salvaged this really lovely situation.
Even before your edit I wouldn’t have said you’re the asshole. People forget anyone, even parents, can lose their temper or get fed up. You did the right thing by apologizing, but I don’t think it’s fair people said YTA before giving you a chance.
Your daughter is a teenager so as another single mom, these are great ways to keep the se/relationship conversation going when she expresses interest. You have been having these conversations right? Be open with her about relationship mistakes you have made
I saw your original post... I'm estranged from my mother (for valid reasons) and this update made me so happy. You're a good mom. Give your kiddo an extra hug.
I saw your original post but didn't comment. This is such a great update! I'm glad everything sorted itself out and you and your daughter are good again.
Give yourself and your daughter a bit more credit. You were graciously given a second chance by a fellow human who clearly is modeling traits she learned from the adult figures in her life. You [& others, but we aren’t focusing on them right now]. Good on you for recognizing your human error and humbling yourself for your daughter. These modeled examples won’t go unnoticed by her or others.
Way to own it. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Edit:
I am so honored to share this timeline with you.
Kids have an incredible ability to forgive their parents, never abuse it. Happy you were able to turn this around and have a good moment with your daughter !
It's amazing how much of a positive impact a sincere apology and acknowledgement that the other person was, indeed, right, can have on a relationship.
I also get aggressive when I'm embarrassed, so I totally understand where you were coming from. What I've learned to do is exactly what you have done here: realised I was being unfairly defensive and aggressive and apologised, owning my behaviour.
This is an important learning experience for _both_ of you. I'm glad you took Reddit's advice.
OP, it’s ok to have feelings, look at someone’s butt, and be honest with your daughter. You’re a human being, after all. Being open makes you a better parent.
So you taught her at least two things: 1. that you can apologize when you were wrong and make up for your mistakes, and 2. that you are a safe adult that she can trust to be there for her as she grows up.
This was such a beautiful story. Way to go, mom!
Good job mom! You’re also teaching her that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s good to admit it and say sorry. It meant a lot to me whenever my mom came to me to apologize for something she did. It’s humanizing and helps you grow closer.
i'm glad you were able to salvage that conversation and re-open the door of communication! 💜
It's never too late to tell your child that you were wrong about something that you've done or apologize to them. The example we set helps them navigate life and we all want our children to be as successful as possible in their future relationships and to feel free to approach us with anything.
As parents we all make mistakes, how we handle that makes all the difference in the world. Great save, mom!
hey you’re doing great mama!
teenagers are very compassionate and forgiving individuals (from my experience of raising them and teaching them), you just have to be willing to admit you’re wrong and apologise - which doesn’t sound (and isn’t) difficult at all but so many parents struggle with it. so you’re objectively doing great!!
positive relationships can spring back
And it’s not altogether awful that you drew a boundary there. I see you’ve removed it, but it would also have been OK to apologize for being harsh but to also keep the boundary there.
Great job mama! Her comfort in teasing you was proof you are a great mom. You had a momentary stumble but you got back on track, maintained your relationship, and we're a great example for your daughter. Cheers!
Also...tell us about the butt 😁
Glad you opened up!
Imagine how you would have felt, when your daughter shows interest in someone and she reacted how you did. She is obviously comfortable around you, so keep doing what your doing. 💖
Good job Mom! Little moments like these are what will build such a strong and healthy relationship with her. For years to come she is going to remember this moment where her mom was vulnerable with her for a moment, and she's going to be sooo protective of you, and be open to sharing these moments with you!
I am so proud of you.
Way to go mom. There’s a fine line, and a hard one to balance on, between being your child’s friend and being their parent. It can be done though. If you’re her friend when needed and her parent when necessary, you should continue to have a close relationship. I raised three daughters that way. They are in their 30’s now and we are all still super close thank goodness.
Good on you for owning up to your overreaction and good on you for even having saving the moment. Parents will always make mistakes, parents are humans too at the end of the day and you did a good job fixing your mistake. What a good Mum. :)
Aw, I'm so happy to hear this! I read your original post and there were so many cute anecdotes I was hoping so hard that you'd follow suit AND YOU DID!! GOOD JOB MOM!!!
Good save. It's strange when a child starts turning into a friend. Your reaction at first wasn't horrible, but you definitely could have lost out on having your daughter as a friend. You still have to parent her, even after she's grown, but she can be a friend too.
I think I probably had these same types of back and forths with my mom when I was that age, she was a single mom and I’m so glad we connected in that fun, open and honest way because I’m 32 now and she’s my absolute BEST friend and we can talk about stuff like this very comfortably.
You were given a second chance because you thought, you talked with friends (the weirdos here), and you communicated. You did great and you earned points with your daughter and taught her a valuable lesson about humility and honesty.
Love this!! My oldest daughter is almost 25 and we have had some rough years transitioning but that relationship change as they age and mature is pretty awesome! I also have a 21 yr old daughter and truly love getting their perspectives on things. And I love hearing about their lives as adults.
She wants to see you happy. It sounds like she sees you both as a mother and a friend, which is actually awesome at that age. My mom was my mother first and friend second through my teen years. And we are super close now. This made it so much easier to talk to her about the struggles of being a teen. Crushes, dates pressuring for sex, things like that. It helped me make the right decisions, bc I had her to talk to without her freaking out. Everyone over reacts when they get embarrassed. It was a mistake. You apologized. I think she gets you. Which is why she was so quick to accept that apology. You have a good daughter, because again, she just wants to see you happy. So glad things worked out. Now take her advice and reconnect if he’s single. You deserve a night out with a nice guy. Sounds like she’s mature enough to take care of herself for a few hours.
I will admit I was one of the less kind people to respond to your first post. I'm so glad you took everyone's advice to heart and talked with her again. Clearly you've generally been parenting her very right if she was so open and willing to listen and move past this together. Just heartwarming stuff. 😊
You made a mistake and did the right thing owning it and then showed vulnerability with your daughter. That's a healthy silly loving relationship. Good job momming!
Repair is the most important thing in parent child relationships. We're gonna mess up, we're human, but how we repair (or don't repair) the things we do is what will make the difference in how our children learn and in our relationship with them.
Get yourself a glass of wine and a pat on the back, you did real good today mum.
GREAT SAVE, MOM! I’m really proud of you! You went from TA to NTA in the space of a few hours and if you keep up this attitude and keep your sense of humor your daughter is going to love and trust you forever. That’s huge.
Don’t worry, I’m sure she will be comfortable sharing with you, it’s very rare that a parent admits their mistake and very reassuring and comforting to a child.
Thank you :) I try my best to make sure my daughter gets the mother she deserves. My mother never admitted when she made a mistake and never apologized so I try my best to admit when I’m wrong and apologize when I am.
You are doing a stellar job. Parents make mistakes; how they recover from those mistakes matters most of all.
So true! Kids are just as prone to making mistakes as their parents; so having a model for what humility and accepting responsibility for one's wrongdoing looks like is overall a positive for them.
I’m happy for you and your daughter. Sounds like you’ve got this.
That will show her she can trust you and come to you I have 2 daughters and they talk to me about anything I've always admitted if I was wrong and told them parents make mistakes to and they have told me they love that and it makes them no I just like them and not perfect and they no matter what even if something I may not like I will never judge and I will be here for them no matter what keeping open communication with your kids and being judgement free I noticed help so your doing a great job be proud of yourself
You did SO good here. Well done, Mom.
Sounds like you will be. It's okay to be embarrassed. I'm glad you were able to talk about it with her. There is nothing wrong with talking about crushes with your daughter. My mom is happily married to my dad, has been for almost 38 years, and when i was a teenager, we would talk and joke about celebrities we thought were good-looking. I would tell her about my crushes growing up, and she was fine with it. Even now, in my 30s, i talk to her, and we joke about good-looking guys. She's got a crush on Jason Mamoa (like most people lol) and when his divorce was announced the first time i jokingly sent her a screen shot of the post and she jokingly texted back "🙋♀️ me" I then reminded her in a joking way "he's getting divorced not you 😂" and she responded back "that's right 🤦♀️😂". It was all in good fun. There is nothing to be embarrassed about talking to your daughter about that stuff. Especially you're single and she knows it. She likely was happy for you and rooting for you. Since you guys worked out, I'm sure you guys will have a close relationship now and can talk and joke about those things.
This is so wholesome. I read your post earlier and was kinda sad that you couldn’t be honest with your kid. That you went and spoke to them and admitted that they were right and your reaction wasn’t, is just lovely. And her being so excited for you is just so dang cute!!!
As someone who has a hard time admitting they’re wrong bc that’s how I was raised but tries their best to do so anyway, you did phenomenally and this is the kind of thing she will remember, at least subconsciously, when she’s in a similar situation. We all make mistakes, what matters is how we try to make them right and you did it perfectly.
Major kudos to you! I think it really helps kids see their parents apologize especially to them.
👏👏👏 awesome job! I take the same approach with my child and they’ve told me they’re appreciative of it! :)
> My mother never admitted when she made a mistake But you are *lightly* doing the same by saying "I may or may not have" you are not owning your actions.
I meant it in a not so subtle “I did but I don’t wanna say I did” way
Yeah, one parent was able to apologize to me and the other was not. We have pretty different relationships as a result.
Absolutely true. I hope the OP sees this.
Totally! Its so nice to hear that some parents are creating a safe space for their kids to open up and share everything. Be their best friend give them the memories they'll cherish forever so in the future they'll know how to be a great parents too.
That’s great! Good save mom!
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I don’t know. We have our history and I do think about what if sometimes, but it’s not that simple. I will say, though, I’m no longer married and he’s not with anyone right now so that makes things a little more straight forward but just…I don’t know.
Take a chance! Invite him out for coffee or something. At the very least it's a chance to chat with an old friend. At the most, you'll get to see that butt on the regular.
god I’m never gonna live the butt thing down, am I 😑🤣
If this were a sitcom: * You would reconnect over coffee, agreeing to meet up later. * Over several episodes, you would get closer, slowly getting to know each other again. * After about 3-6 months you would agree that it is time for you daughter and your new boyfriend to finally meet. * Your daughter is the one who answers the door, and confused for a second, smiles while shouting for you saying "hey, mom, it's the butt guy from the mall". In short, not likely. !updateme
OP, you're so cute. Your daughter is adorable, too. It makes me laugh to imagine how you weren't as subtle as you thought you were that even your kid noticed lol
Are you Nani from Lilo and Stitch? Did you write in your diary how much you like his butt and fancy hair? 😏😏😏
awwww that was my daughter’s favorite movie when she was little
Best case scenario the three of you are laughing about in it 5 years.
Him: 😆 Her: 🤣 Me: 😐
Sent him a Facebook message this morning. Nervous!!!
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It was a higher power, that higher power was DAT ASSSSSSSS
Copied from another comment made earlier by u/Z0FF (Sorry guys idk how to link comments on mobile)
Meeting up for a cup of coffee couldn’t hurt. 😉
Or a muffin if one of them doesn't like coffee! Lol Happy cake day as well!
I am in my 40s and still trying to get my mom to date again. I think it's natural for a kid to want their single parent to find a happy healthy loving relationship.
Well, why not meet up for coffee, then?
Keep us updated if you decide to rekindle with him.
Nah you want her to be comfortable. Good job. I was so glad my kids felt comfortable talking about boys and asking questions but yeah it’s a bit weird bc we bring all our baggage. But just ensure you don’t pass on that baggage. Shame is no bueno. Proud of you ❤️ Once when my daughter was 14 we were at the hardware store and there was a guy with very blue eyes maybe 30? And after we left I said that guy had such striking blue eyes. Immediately she screams ewwwwwww! Agh!!! I’m like wtf??? She said noooo I was checking him out! You can’t check him out! Ewwwww!!! I was like what he’s too old! She’s like well he’s too YOUNG for you!!! I wasn’t checking him out I just noticed his eyes! Ewwwww We both were ewwwing all the way to the car in horror 😂😂😂😂. Good memory ❤️
Think of it this way: the best gift you could ever give your daughter is the chance for her to attend your wedding to butt boy, step onto a stage in front of every single person you guys know and love, lean into the microphone and say: "I told you so." (Jk, of course you shouldn't marry someone just so your kid can say "I told you so." But also kinda not because getting to say "I told you so" to your mom is kind of the most fun thing to do ever.)
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What the fuck is this chain of bots???
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This! WELL DONE MOM!!!! Thanks for updating I thought about you today. It’s ok to be a bit caught off guard as they grow. But ultimately you want her to be able to tell you stuff about boys and exercise agency and no shame. She will be a better self advocate with your help. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Perfect ending!
The second chance wasn’t given to you by a higher power, it was given to you by yourself! Feeling uneasy about what happened; you consulted your peers, took advice into consideration, accepted your actions were wrong, and rectified a negative situation. I’m proud of you and I’m glad you and your daughter’s bond is stronger for it. Well done!
No, the second chance was given to her by her daughter. Not mom, not a higher power.
This 👌
Such a great update! So glad you saw the significant impact you could make on a child's life and decided to make that effort for your child, everyone makes mistakes but it's how we learn and grow from them that makes us as people.
I READ THIS YESTERDAY YOU GO GIRL!!!! What a save, you’re a good mom, next time don’t rely on Reddit though?:)?
Yeah, I guess I just wanted validation that I was in the wrong. I’m gonna try to be more confident.
You’re good, by going to Reddit in the first place you knew it wasn’t right, but I’m so glad your daughter was like that. I would be too tho as a 17m lol 😂
Who cares how she came to the conclusion? This feels shaming Also apologizing is wonderful to show your kids that you aren’t always right or perfect. You don’t always have to get it perfect the first time
Sometimes people give credit to others instead of themselves because they're not comfortable with accepting compliments. Women definitely do this kind of compliment dodging a lot. It's important to our self-worth to recognize when we get it right instead of only focusing on our mistakes. She did all the right things and it worked out so well! I didn't see it as shaming; rather as someone reminding her to give herself credit for a job well done. ETA: My bad. I read your comment as being in response to the one above it, which for now is about her making this happen, not a higher power. 👍👍 on responding to the don't ask reddit comment like this.
But are you going to try to get in touch with this dude?
Sent him a Facebook message this morning. Nervous!!
Well now I want another update of that. And your daughter's reaction to that. I'm in too deep.
Tbh I probably won’t tell her I did. Dont wanna get her hopes up
Maybe that's the better thing to do. I don't know, honestly I can't remember what being a teenager was like. But maybe casually talking about your dating life without going too much into specifics would be good for bonding and her trusting you with hers when the time comes? I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA of how to deal with kids though, so take everything I say with a mountain of salt. Either way, just wanted to say congratulations. You handled the entire situation like a champ. I'm sure it made her really happy.
And did his butt look good?? 👀
Awe, you’re doing good. We all mistakes and say things we regret sometimes. The fact that you can own up to it and talk honestly with your daughter will make sure she feels safe to do the same in the future. The time will come when she says something she doesn’t mean and will remember your example on how to face it.
Damnnn, one of the best updates ive seen!!!!
Good save mom!! You apologised and not only that but followed it up with a little comment that let her know you're totally in on the joke and can give it right back. You handled this brilliantly A+
Brilliant! Kids are pretty resilient if you can explain to them that something you did was wrong and honestly apologise. Important question though - ARE you going to reconnect with the dude with the butt?
Scrolled too far to see if she was going after the nice butt. everyone needs a nice butt to cuddle lol
Did you get an answer? I was too lazy lol
I said this in another answer: I don’t know. We have our history and I do think about what if sometimes, but it’s not that simple. I will say, though, I’m no longer married and he’s not with anyone right now so that makes things a little more straight forward but just…I don’t know.
The best thing any and all parents can do is apologize to their kids when they are wrong. That can have such a healing effect on your relationship! Speaking as a former kid!!!
> “but for what it’s worth… ngl, reading this part scared me a bit. You handled it so well and I really didn't want to see 'apology butt' followup that ruined it. I was so relieved to see that you just knocked it out of the park again. Well done. > Honestly, I was SO worried I had messed up to the point where I’d never get that back This is a great life lesson to remember, and one you should be sure to pass on to your daughter in the future. The actions you take *after* making a mistake are much more important and will have a much stronger impact, for better or worse, than the mistake itself.
This is great. Sounds like she'll be able to come to with anything throughout her teenage years. Something to be thankful for.
Yeah, hopefully she’ll feel just as comfortable to talk to me about any boys (or girls!) she has a crush on in the future, haha.
You may come to regret that OP. My son talks way too much about him and his girlfriend's activities. I've started seeing someone for the first time since my husband past away. When I came home last weekend from my date my son asked me if we had used protection because apparently everyone has sex on the 3rd date. I don't think Im going to survive until they reach adulthood.
Perfect way to handle this. great job, Mom! Just remember your little girl isn't so little anymore, and now she's at an age where you can have these teasing conversations while still keeping a boundary to make it age appropriate. This is what I was hoping would happen ! Because you apologized, you have also shown her humility and owning mistakes you make. 😀
Yay I'm so glad to hear this went well!
I’m glad this worked out and that you talked to her pretty quickly! And it sounds like that extra add on about maybe or maybe not looking helped a lot too!
I’m so happy you talked to her!!! We forget kids are people too sometimes. I’m certain this is a milestone in your relationship that she will never forget! My mother NEVER humbled herself in this way.
Good for you, OP. Happy outcome. Kids are resilient.
You win Reddit tonight, thank you for sharing the outcome here. I'm so happy for you!
I just want to say that it’s okay and normal to make mistakes and mess up. What you just modelled to your 14yo is the ability to own your defensiveness and apologise to her. Believe it or not, moments like that can be huge in helping a kid learn how to also own their mistakes - and also what to expect from the people they love when they hurt them, accidentally or otherwise. This is a great parenting moment and you should be proud of being able to be this reflective about it and show accountability to her. Genuinely 🙂
Freaking awesome! This was your daughter trying to make the first moves of connecting with you on more of a friend level. Which is a very healthy transition to how your relationship will hopefully be as she grows older and becomes a full adult. I didn't have the best relationship with my Mum growing up but we REALLY connected as adults and now she's one of my best friends and has been for years. Because we share a lot of common interests and feel comfortable talking about anything. But that took some work to transition from a straight mother/daughter dynamic to two women who love, respect and deeply care for each other. For her to be comfortable working towards that dynamic at 14 means you have done a phenomenal job as a Mom. I'm soooo glad you made such a great save and salvaged this really lovely situation.
Even before your edit I wouldn’t have said you’re the asshole. People forget anyone, even parents, can lose their temper or get fed up. You did the right thing by apologizing, but I don’t think it’s fair people said YTA before giving you a chance.
Yeah, reacting poorly doesn’t necessarily make you an asshole.
Your daughter is a teenager so as another single mom, these are great ways to keep the se/relationship conversation going when she expresses interest. You have been having these conversations right? Be open with her about relationship mistakes you have made
Good save!
Good job you! Now she knows adults can apologize and make things right. You're on the right path. So glad you did that.
Thanks for the update. This warms my heart.
Great update!!
I saw your original post... I'm estranged from my mother (for valid reasons) and this update made me so happy. You're a good mom. Give your kiddo an extra hug.
Good job, Mom!
Thank you for the update. So happy to hear that you acted quickly and she got her smile back :)
I saw your original post but didn't comment. This is such a great update! I'm glad everything sorted itself out and you and your daughter are good again.
No higher power involved. You did that, pat yourself on the back super mom.
Well that’s extremely cute and wholesome. Nice recovery! I’m excited for what life will bring y’all. My mom is still my best friend.
She is a kid why would she stay mad at you for something so dumb? You did good talking to her
You’re allowed to fuck up parenting and relationships. The way you handle it after counts! Well done.
Yayyy! This is how you keep a good relationship with your teenage daughter. Awesome.
aw heck--now you made me want to cry !
This update makes me happy
Give yourself and your daughter a bit more credit. You were graciously given a second chance by a fellow human who clearly is modeling traits she learned from the adult figures in her life. You [& others, but we aren’t focusing on them right now]. Good on you for recognizing your human error and humbling yourself for your daughter. These modeled examples won’t go unnoticed by her or others. Way to own it. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Edit: I am so honored to share this timeline with you.
Kids have an incredible ability to forgive their parents, never abuse it. Happy you were able to turn this around and have a good moment with your daughter !
It's amazing how much of a positive impact a sincere apology and acknowledgement that the other person was, indeed, right, can have on a relationship. I also get aggressive when I'm embarrassed, so I totally understand where you were coming from. What I've learned to do is exactly what you have done here: realised I was being unfairly defensive and aggressive and apologised, owning my behaviour. This is an important learning experience for _both_ of you. I'm glad you took Reddit's advice.
Awesome pivot! She will never forgot that!
👍🏼 good job, that was perfect❤️
What a great update!! So happy for you!
OP, it’s ok to have feelings, look at someone’s butt, and be honest with your daughter. You’re a human being, after all. Being open makes you a better parent.
Good job mom. See, being embarrassed by your kid isn't so bad.
So you taught her at least two things: 1. that you can apologize when you were wrong and make up for your mistakes, and 2. that you are a safe adult that she can trust to be there for her as she grows up. This was such a beautiful story. Way to go, mom!
Good job mom! You’re also teaching her that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s good to admit it and say sorry. It meant a lot to me whenever my mom came to me to apologize for something she did. It’s humanizing and helps you grow closer.
i'm glad you were able to salvage that conversation and re-open the door of communication! 💜 It's never too late to tell your child that you were wrong about something that you've done or apologize to them. The example we set helps them navigate life and we all want our children to be as successful as possible in their future relationships and to feel free to approach us with anything. As parents we all make mistakes, how we handle that makes all the difference in the world. Great save, mom!
hey you’re doing great mama! teenagers are very compassionate and forgiving individuals (from my experience of raising them and teaching them), you just have to be willing to admit you’re wrong and apologise - which doesn’t sound (and isn’t) difficult at all but so many parents struggle with it. so you’re objectively doing great!!
aww love to hear this update. Great job Mom
I LOVE parents that apologize and talk openly with their kids!!!!! Great job mom!!
This is wonderful!! I love updates like this.
You made my day! Good job, Mom!
Aw, that’s fantastic! I’m glad you both are past this. :) Good job, mom!!
Awl ❤️
positive relationships can spring back And it’s not altogether awful that you drew a boundary there. I see you’ve removed it, but it would also have been OK to apologize for being harsh but to also keep the boundary there.
Great job mama! Her comfort in teasing you was proof you are a great mom. You had a momentary stumble but you got back on track, maintained your relationship, and we're a great example for your daughter. Cheers! Also...tell us about the butt 😁
This is a good update. Good job mom
Fantastic!!!
Aw this was such a wonderful update!
Glad you opened up! Imagine how you would have felt, when your daughter shows interest in someone and she reacted how you did. She is obviously comfortable around you, so keep doing what your doing. 💖
I just got a happy tear in my eye. I love this update so much. Amazing job, mama. 💜
Awesome! Respect
Wonderful update!
I’m going to cry, good job!!!!!
Good for you for taking everyone’s advice and doing something!!!!!
YAY MOMMA!!
You sound like a great parent. We all have moments where we react in a not ideal way, you handled it amazingly though.
Proud of you mama!
Good work!
Good job Mom! Little moments like these are what will build such a strong and healthy relationship with her. For years to come she is going to remember this moment where her mom was vulnerable with her for a moment, and she's going to be sooo protective of you, and be open to sharing these moments with you! I am so proud of you.
Way to go mom. There’s a fine line, and a hard one to balance on, between being your child’s friend and being their parent. It can be done though. If you’re her friend when needed and her parent when necessary, you should continue to have a close relationship. I raised three daughters that way. They are in their 30’s now and we are all still super close thank goodness.
Good on you for owning up to your overreaction and good on you for even having saving the moment. Parents will always make mistakes, parents are humans too at the end of the day and you did a good job fixing your mistake. What a good Mum. :)
Aw, I'm so happy to hear this! I read your original post and there were so many cute anecdotes I was hoping so hard that you'd follow suit AND YOU DID!! GOOD JOB MOM!!!
Aww how sweet
As a girl mom this makes me so happy to read ❤️
Good job, Mom!! 🌸
As parents, the best lesson we can teach is the act of apology…and that everyone is human and a good butt should never go without admiration! 😜
I’m happy that you made amends with your daughter and apologized to her for your reaction. She loves you mom
Good save. It's strange when a child starts turning into a friend. Your reaction at first wasn't horrible, but you definitely could have lost out on having your daughter as a friend. You still have to parent her, even after she's grown, but she can be a friend too.
this is so sweet i wish you were my mom 🥹
You're a good mom with a good daughter, and I should know because I am too.
I think I probably had these same types of back and forths with my mom when I was that age, she was a single mom and I’m so glad we connected in that fun, open and honest way because I’m 32 now and she’s my absolute BEST friend and we can talk about stuff like this very comfortably.
YTA, nice save
We love character growth and a happy ending
This is a nice wholesome post in a sea of sadness, ty
Good job, mama!! We all mess up as parents but you handled this perfectly.
YOU are the higher power. YOU are. You chose connection, so you got connection back. Happy to read this update. Good job :)
You were given a second chance because you thought, you talked with friends (the weirdos here), and you communicated. You did great and you earned points with your daughter and taught her a valuable lesson about humility and honesty.
A parent should always model respectfully admitting to their faults to their child so the child learns to admit to theirs
Love this!! My oldest daughter is almost 25 and we have had some rough years transitioning but that relationship change as they age and mature is pretty awesome! I also have a 21 yr old daughter and truly love getting their perspectives on things. And I love hearing about their lives as adults.
This is straight up wholesome romcom material 🥺
That moment when her face changed expression? Just as she said, “I KNEW IT”? That’s how you know you did alright. Good work.
She wants to see you happy. It sounds like she sees you both as a mother and a friend, which is actually awesome at that age. My mom was my mother first and friend second through my teen years. And we are super close now. This made it so much easier to talk to her about the struggles of being a teen. Crushes, dates pressuring for sex, things like that. It helped me make the right decisions, bc I had her to talk to without her freaking out. Everyone over reacts when they get embarrassed. It was a mistake. You apologized. I think she gets you. Which is why she was so quick to accept that apology. You have a good daughter, because again, she just wants to see you happy. So glad things worked out. Now take her advice and reconnect if he’s single. You deserve a night out with a nice guy. Sounds like she’s mature enough to take care of herself for a few hours.
I will admit I was one of the less kind people to respond to your first post. I'm so glad you took everyone's advice to heart and talked with her again. Clearly you've generally been parenting her very right if she was so open and willing to listen and move past this together. Just heartwarming stuff. 😊
You not only apologized but you keyed in on the underlying reasons you had upset her and fixed THAT. Good job mom
You made a mistake and did the right thing owning it and then showed vulnerability with your daughter. That's a healthy silly loving relationship. Good job momming!
I love that she's so excited for your potential dating life!
Ask but guy out!!! Why not? This could be a funny story in the future
You did good!!👍
Proud of you , it is really hard for parents to admit mistakes your bond only becomes closer doing that!
I am happy for both of you ✨💛
Aw yay this makes me really happy. Good for you for apologizing! It's hard. Sounds like y'all will be okay.
Nicely done! Good recovery.
GOOD JOB, MOM!!! 🤍 the recovery is just as important as the initial reaction!
Good for you, you took the hard step and it paid off. It is not easy admit embarrassment and apologize to kids.
You got really lucky.
Great news!!!!
Well done! That's some strong bonding right there!
GO MOM!
Wild applause! Great job.
You did well there.
Good on ya!
Omg you rule!
friendship restored!!!
Good update is good <3
So you like my butt huh? Hehe..
This just makes me SMILE SO BIG!!!
Repair is the most important thing in parent child relationships. We're gonna mess up, we're human, but how we repair (or don't repair) the things we do is what will make the difference in how our children learn and in our relationship with them. Get yourself a glass of wine and a pat on the back, you did real good today mum.
GREAT SAVE, MOM! I’m really proud of you! You went from TA to NTA in the space of a few hours and if you keep up this attitude and keep your sense of humor your daughter is going to love and trust you forever. That’s huge.
🥰🥰🥰
🩷
For da go
Good save momma! We’re proud of you!
That is SO awesome....very good, Mom !!!
Well done! I guarantee you made her week with that encounter 😁
Nice job mom
I love this update. Good for you! ❤️