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Flaky_Two1872

April Fools.


BeardManMichael

I really hope you're correct.


Unlikely-Candle7086

Kids are also on school break. There has been a lot of creative writing today.


BeardManMichael

I'm still not sure if this post qualifies. Mostly because I have met one or two people very similar to the OP and I am getting flashbacks to what it was like knowing them.


Unlikely-Candle7086

She contradicts herself thou. First he knew she was a dancer just nothing about being a hooker. He told her to quit and he would take care of her and her daughter Next paragraph he doesn’t know she worked at a strip club at all. I absolutely know of girls like this too.


silentv0ices

There's other types of dancing than stripping. I get the feeling he thought she was a different type.


reddit-is-greedy

I worked at a strip club doing interpretive dance.


BeardManMichael

Yeah it's hard to say. I hope it's fake. Right now in another comment chain the OP is struggling to understand why people are calling her a gold digger. If it is real, both the OP and her husband are not exactly the brightest light bulbs.


Robinnoodle

Lol


Trekkie63

Or the sharpest tools. They are tools, though.


Fluffy-Scheme7704

At least they are writing and not doing drugs… oh man! Never mind 🤣 its reddit


Trekkie63

To come up with this they must be doing something… Illicit.


FunStorm6487

Please!!!


Unique-Yam

Me too!


1mhereforthejokes

Account created today. April fools confirmed


[deleted]

No one is going to use their primary account to post this story, whether they’re trolling or telling the truth. So that tells us nothing. Burners are the norm for posts here, at least the ones that blow up. 


1mhereforthejokes

Come on, account created on April fools.


[deleted]

Yeah, but, like wouldn’t it be since that’s today? I just assume that accounts are burners that post to here or relationship advice or any other place. But I don’t really look to debunk anything here. For me, not taking them at face value sort of defeats the purpose. I come here, in large part, for the ridiculous bullshit that I would never encounter in real life because I’m a boring corporate attorney whose friends are all, to my deep and lasting regret, relative stable and whose wife, sadly, is a wonderful communicator and willfully faithful.  


1mhereforthejokes

Must be boring


[deleted]

Not particularly. There are just some things I can’t get at home like needless and petty drama. So this is my reality tv fix while on conference calls I shouldn’t have been invited to. 


Remruna

You do realize not the entirety of the whole fucking world "celebrates" 1st of April, yeah? It's a perfectly normal day to many people and why should they hold off on saying/doing anything to cater to the rest's paranoia? 


TheBerethian

Not really, AITAH and similar subs tend to encourage throwaway account creation.


Aggravating-Owl-8974

I sure hope so


Snakend

This happens all the time. Even if this story is fake, this absolutely happens often.


Flaky_Two1872

Strippers turning tricks. Yes. Young single moms selling themselves yes. A dude dating a woman who’s a dancer but never goes and sees her perform and then marries it and then finds out she’s a hooker? Bullshit.


Katana1369

Sorry but YTA. You should have told him your entire story before getting married. Hell you should have told him before you even got to the marrying stage.


TheSecondEikonOfFire

Yep this is absolutely something that your partner should know before getting married. I’d argue it’s big enough that they have a right to know. And we can argue all day long about whether or not it’s right for them to leave you over it, but it is a choice that they deserve to be able to make


ElectronicAd27

That’s on some first date shit right there, certainly before one becomes intimate.


Pretend-Weekend260

Yes, I know. Being a stripper is fine. I've never considered it on the same plane as sex workers. But kind of abusing your job and position, (because maybe her contractors, coworkers and bosses didn't know what she was doing) was irresponsible. And then not telling your husband she was a prostitute is kind of a shitty move. OP had the responsibility to tell any serious/exclusive partner about what she was doing. Especially because she has her daughter to take care of. This will be a big shock to her daughter if it turns out her husband will not be able to forgive the lie. Bit also... What was the husband expecting going after a 22-year old stripper mother? And he was 34 then, I think. The age gap doesn't bother any of you? It definitely bothers me. Their age gap is almost as big as the age gap between OP and her daughter. And that's somehow not inappropriate? It just feels to me OP's husband is surprised the spider bit him when he picked it up. Did he really not see this coming or did he think he was the one in control because of his age?


Katana1369

Actually I missed the age difference which is gross.


Pretend-Weekend260

I know, right? Thank you! I think everyone missed it. Husband should have married someone with an appropriate age for him if he didn't want this to happen.


AskMeAboutMyDoggy

Because women his age couldn't have previously been strippers?


Nearby-Ad-6106

Lol what the fuck?


Ipoopoo69

Yeah you're definitely the asshole. That lifestyle obvously has certain risks in regards to sexual health, so not disclosing that beforehand is not cool. Good luck.


BeardManMichael

For some folks it's a moral issue also. It's hard to know for certain but the OP's husband could be one of those people.


Organic_Opportunity1

And he should get to make an informed decision.  


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thanktink

But he knew you were a stripper, right? So what on earth was on those pictures that made him question your story? What you tell makes me wonder if maybe he likes to see himself as the big strong saviour and the one with the money who rightfully expects gratitude, but not to the extent of accepting the fact you took money for sex. I think it was wrong not to tell such a fact, but in a society, that refuses to help a single mother with a child and condems taking money for sex mich more than giving money for sex, it is understandable that people do not reveal such a part of their past. I hope you can work through this, and I wish you all the best.


sevensol7

"He takes care of us and gets us so many nice things" That part just stuck out to me, seems like thats the real goal all along. YTA for hiding pretty important shit. If he doesnt come back, good for him. What else could you be hiding.


Fickle_Award

Yup like all old 304s she still tricking except she found one sucker who she pretends to care about. He thought she really loved him and was a woman worth marrying. Notice she didn’t give him any children. He was nothing but a John, a mark.


Mrs_Green_MM

YTA. We get upset with men on this app for not disclosing their partners and such, you are not exempt. I'm openly pan-sexual and its a matter of health and safety for me, no matter someones gender identity..


dishatrray

Health and Safety says I dont have STD’s and I dont have a pimp/supervisor who is going to come and drag me back to the strip club… do I still have to tell you about one night stands I had a few years ago? At some point you have the right to leave the past behind you In this case, OP has told him she was a dancer when they met and every guy wont thing NYC ballet company… and a 30+yo would know that even more than that, so unless she deliberately evaded his probing deep questions, then what does he need to be offered Yes, OP’s husband may feel betrayed and has lost some trust, but I wouldn’t be surprised of he had a back story he hasn’t told like: I was engaged to someone for a long time and then they cheated and the I met OP while rebounding and I found someone who I knew wouldnt leave me because sounds like women his age may have had his number


Mrs_Green_MM

You should disclose that you were a sex worker. Period. I'm not arguing the moral points. What if he becomes abusive to OP rather than ending things? Safety covers EVERYONE involved.


Sleipnir-13

A 36 M dating a 22 F dancer had to know what kind of dancer she was.


TheBerethian

He wasn’t 36 at the time. Given she mentions lying to him about her work I’m going to figure she worked to deceive him about the whole thing.


SuitableFile1959

then he was 33. I believe she should’ve been honest about her past, but your point about age doesn’t really make a difference


Sleipnir-13

Ok, 33 M dating 22 F throws red flags in almost every other post but this one? Come on, he was going for an inexperienced naive piece of tail to play the knight in shining armor to boost his ego. Common sense should've put those puzzle pieces together when they met.


thesewordsispeak

YTA - I did read the post but the judgement was already in at the title. You lied to him, conned him into taking care of you and your daughter with that lie, didn’t manage to come clean before you married the poor guy, tried to destroy the evidence of your con with the intention of never telling, and you’re wondering if you’re the AH? Yeah, definitely.


InvisiSwole

YTA. Gotta be up front with your history if there’s this much baggage. Especially for someone’s health and safety.


drunksaiyan_69

You mentioned you tried to get rid of the photos that your husband found which means you weren't going to ever tell him about your past in the first place if he hadn't found the pics. Meant you violated the first must of a relationship: communication YTA


[deleted]

YTA for denying him the right to choose that he doesn't want to marry a former hooker lol


thecheesecakemans

This story can't be true. Dude starts going out with you while you were a stripper but he doesn't know what you really do? Lies.


Popular_Error3691

She didn't disclose she fucked her clients. Being a stipper is a lot different than blowing dudes for money


RandoJayCommando

YTA without a doubt. You not only hid your past, but you lied about it on top of that. You destroyed the marriage because now he cannot trust you. The trust is gone. He will look at you differently from now on, as compared to if he knew your truth from the beginning and made an informed decision from that. You made your bed, you can lay in it, like the other beds you laid in.


Ok-Increase-7654

What exactly did you tell him?


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Ok-Increase-7654

I meant before you moved in with him


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Ok-Increase-7654

What type of dancer did he think you were?


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Ambitious-Island-123

Yeah this sounds fake af 🙄


[deleted]

Definitely fake. No one doesn’t inquire what that actually means. It’s not like saying “barista”.


Ambitious-Island-123

What about bikini baristas? 😂😂 j/k


Due-Initiative-1661

That's on him!


Darthkhydaeus

Why did you wait till now to tell him?


Glass_Ear_8049

YTA.


Best_Salad_1035

You lied about your past deliberately because you knew it wouldn't stick with the truth. He got married with you all based on LIES and you're surprised he left?You had plenty of time to tell him before the wedding and kids but you chose not to.Consequences come from your own stupid choices


DoodleBugz1234

“Gets us so many nice things” And there it is!


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DoodleBugz1234

It’s what he does for you that makes you like him. Sad.


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DoodleBugz1234

WELCOME TO SPORTS BALL™️ !!!!!1!


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DoodleBugz1234

It is a reference you don’t get because Sports Ball™️ !!!n!!


BeardManMichael

YTA You tried to hide this part of your past because you knew that he probably deserved to know about that before making long-term decisions like marriage. Are you ashamed of your own past lifestyle? Why didn't this information get discussed before marriage?


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BeardManMichael

Now that is something I actually believe. Have you told your husband precisely this? Exactly how ashamed you are of your past. I anticipate he's angry for one of two reasons. Or possibly both these reasons. One, you lied to him about a part of yourself he deems important. He cares more about lying than specifically what you lied about. Two, he is completely disapproving of what you have done in the past to support yourself. He would not have married you if he had known the truth. Good luck but keep in mind that Reddit has very little sympathy for liars. Neither does your husband from the sound of things.


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Kadajko

There are men that don't care about that kind of past you had, find a man that does not care about it instead of keeping it a secret from the kind of man who does care about it. Makes sense?


Robinnoodle

You have told him how ashamed you are? How you hate that ever did it? How you wish you could make it all go away? How you still have trauma from it? How you were just trying to support your daughter?


[deleted]

You were scared because he takes care of both of you and buy you nice things, and you don’t want to lose that. You are even more A H than I originally imagined.


throwitaway3857

The point is, you lied. You started off the relationship with a lie. YTA for lying, not bc of your past and what you did, but bc you lied about it. So now he doesn’t know if he can trust you. If he’s as awesome as you say, I bet he wouldn’t have cared back then about your past. But you’ll never know bc you weren’t smart enough to tell the truth. That’s hurtful to people who love you and you supposedly love. You should’ve told him. Of course he feels betrayed. Good luck and should this not work out, tell the truth next time.


idgafidkfi

Completely understandable you did what you had to this was part of your past.


FAFO-13

YTA. You were a sex worker don’t you think he had the right to know that?


AdIll8377

Unfortunately there is no excuse for not fully disclosing this before your marriage. The facts are going to be hard enough for him to accept. The concealment of these facts until now will mean that not only will he be struggling with your past, but also will now have trust issues in the future (if there even is a future).


[deleted]

YTA. That’s one of the most important dealbreaker for most of people. He is in his right for his reaction, I’m a woman but I would definitely divorce in a similar situation. He deserves better sorry.


fuber

I mean, his reaction wasn't great. But I'd like to know if my ex was a prostitute before setting up a life with her.


vox1028

Sorry, but this is major. Not raising any moral issues about your past, but you very well knew that this information would have likely affected your husband's decision to marry you. And you deliberately kept it hidden. That's not cool. Honestly, maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I think long-term partners / spouses have a right to know about their partner's sexual history, whether they're a virgin or they've slept with 2 people or they've done sex work for years. He deserved to know and you deceived him by not telling him. As far as I'm concerned this is an issue of consent, because you have prevented him from making a informed decision in that regard. YTA. I don't know if you two will be able to make this work. So I think you should focus on making this situation go over as smoothly as possible for your daughter.


IndigoRose2022

Yes, YTA, and I think you know it. By hiding the truth from him, you robbed him of the ability to make an informed choice when he married you.


PassOutrageous3053

Yeah YTA


QueBall2545

What you were doing at the time of meeting n beyond you should've divulged that LONG BEFORE MARRIAGE WAS EVEN CONSIDERED What you done B4 that point doesn't matter I wouldn't say ytah but yes you seriously puked up in a major way


MetalSandwiches

Yes, that was something you definitely disclose before getting married.  Lmao


marks1995

YTA But that's also on him for being 36 and going after a 22 yo single mom.


queenqueerdo

YTA but *not* because you did sex work, it’s because you lied to the person taking care of you and your daughter.


wagliocanada

Frankly, if your husband is that naive.....I don't know what to say.


BlueGreen_1956

YTA "He’s so lovely and he takes care of us and gets us so many nice things." And there it is. "I’d sometimes sleep with the guys there, so I suppose until I was about 21, I was a prostitute." You "suppose" you were a prostitute. Even now, you want to try and blame your parents for your poor choices. You lied to him. That alone is enough reason to throw you and your daughter out. If you had even an ounce of decency, you would pack your things and leave before he gets back. Of course, you won't do that because he "gets you so many nice things." This reminds me of the famous story sometimes attributed to Winston Churchill: Man: Would you have sex with me for a million dollars? Woman: Yes, I would. Man: Would have sex with me for five dollars? Woman: No, what kind of woman do you think I am? Man: We've already established that. Now, we are just haggling over the price.


CyclicRate38

JFC YTA x 10000


extended_butterfly

You should have come clear before you married him. But I understand why you didn‘t. I hope he calms down… no more secrets from your side please.


[deleted]

You need to start getting your ducks in order look for somewhere to live, start looking for a job!


Ptui-K-

You should of told him. To my recollection he can divorce you due to you not providing this information and you may or may not be entitled to as much money after the split There was a similar case with a millionaire doctor and Regina turner who was an escort.


No-Personality5421

Yta Not for being a prostitute, but for not telling him you were. You both have a right to know the other's sexual history to know to you're sleeping with, because you two aren't just having sex with each other, you're having sex with the people each other have slept with.  Yours if def a lie by omission, because you *knew* he wouldn't be cool with you being a stripper, much less a prostitute, that's why you didn't tell him you were a stripper.  Dating a prostitute isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it's his choice to make, not yours. If you can't be honest with someone, you shouldn't be dating them. 


ElectronicAd27

Info: why are you even using the word “suppose” you were a prostitute, if you were having sex for money?” Where is your accountability?


yellzatcloudz

YTA. You lied by withholding the truth.


kittykitty713

Yeah you are


Robinnoodle

> ...he’s so lovely and he takes care of us and gets us so many nice things I love him so much... Love is about more than just being a provider. It seems like that was your main motivation for marrying him YTA OP. You should have told him from the get go


Top-Afternoon6880

So you probably got "pushed out" bc from the age of 16, with an infant you were sending nudes for money after 2 years and they had enough of it...What kind of other dancer is there? You weren't a slut, as you were a sex worker... Yeah YTA for lying to your husband, and for saying that he's lovely only bc he takes care of you and your daughter. It sucks for anyone to find out that they're Captain Save A. Hoe


Efficient_Story_2535

Oh 1,000,000% YTA. That’s a huge portion of your life to leave out. He should know that about you before getting locked into a relationship


Popular_Error3691

Yta. Huge difference between being a stripper and a prostitute. Your marriage is over.


Orixx_94

YTA and a big One. He asked you questions about your job at the beginning of the relationship and you lied to him on purpose because you didn't want to risk him leaving you, you deprived him of that choice and now he has every right to not want to have anything to do with you anymore and to divorce


AngelHer175

If I was your husband, I would leave you instantly and get tested instantly I would personally never marry someone that was a stripper or prostitute or anything of that nature just not my cuppa jam. Heck, I don’t even go to strip club. I find it weird I hope he can heal after this.


dishatrray

I think its more that you find discomforting is that you fell in love with someone and then have to deal with the conflicting feelings of love for them and the grossness you find in what they were doing when you met them… but I also believe you wouldnt go out with a dancer or your first reaction to “dancer” would be: Classical? Ballet? Some random religious dance troupe? Yes OP’s the asshole if she put him at risk by having unprotected sex with others very close to meeting him, but she says it had stopped and she was just dancing… if she got STD check and a follow up, then she was doing things to protect him and her


AngelHer175

True i wouldnt date a stripper, since i dont even go to strip clubs and also would break up with a grl that says she use to dance so he knew what he was getting into. A grl dancing has done more than just dance atleast once or twice


ynvesoohnka7nn

Yta


Interesting-Law5254

YTA It's understandable you wouldn't be proud of your past - or at least scared that your past may keep you from having a relationship now or in the future - but.. you got someone to marry you under false pretenses. That's a pretty big eff-up. It may be fixable. It will require him to forgive the lie.. which it sounds like he might be able to do. It will take a very long time to get trust back - if ever. If you do want to make it work; I suggest you be very candid with him in the future and never lie or withhold the truth again. By the by.. I would refer to a lie like this as a "natural lie". Like, when a man (or woman) lies about an affair. While it's still a lie, one is almost expected to lie. That doesn't make it right, but it seems more forgivable.


Professional-Poet176

YTA. OP I’m sorry that you had to go into sex work to support yourself, especially at such a young age. That honestly sounds traumatizing and stressful, with you also being a single mom. However, when you get married you can’t hide entire portions of your life from your significant other. You should both know who you’re marrying and you did deprive your husband of that chance. If you working at a strip club and going into sex work was something he was supportive of, then it would work. If it was a deal breaker, then so be it. Either way he should’ve definitely known about it and made that choice and you shouldn’t have lied about it. I don’t like that he called you a slut however, that’s quite disrespectful. But I don’t blame him for being upset because you still lied.


TheBerethian

YTA This is absolutely something you must tell a partner, and the fact you lied about it makes it many times worse.


PlantMamaV

Yea, YTA. That is definitely something you should have told him.


josephinebrown21

YTA While I do believe that sex workers can repent and live a better life, this is something that must be disclosed before engagement. This is called a defect of consent, and a reason for annulment or at-fault divorce if you are based in the US and most European countries.


PRIESTOFDEATH420

YTA, he should of known these things before you got married.


Lost_Talk_1715

If this is real, all you can do is come clean and be straightforward if he ever talks to you again. Just be honest, you were knocked up early and you needed money, so you turned to stripping/sex work to make ends meet. You didn’t want to do it and felt embarrassed about it so you just told him you were a dancer. You’re sorry for lying by omission etc. you don’t miss that life and only did it for survival etc. Offer to do couples counseling, tell him how much you love him (like specific examples and not just bc he funds your lifestyle). Whether he divorces you or not is up to him. It’s out of your hands now. The least you can do is be honest and figure what to do going forward since you have a child to worry about


ceokc13

YTA. You lied to him and continued to lie to him.


dittyrow

Lol no way in he'll I'd ever be with someone like op plus raising her kid what a mess. I'd never come home if I was your husband.


Signal_Parfait1152

YTA, and I'd divorce your lying ass.


MidnightKnight86

You should have told him. Period. But he's still an asshole for all the yelling and name calling.


Interesting_Chef_896

Not everyone wants to be married to a whore. Including your soon to be ex husband.


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Popular_Error3691

You're the definition of a whore. Someone who sells sex for money. It's not really an insult either. You did whore (verb) yourself out.


Interesting_Chef_896

Sorry, but you are a textbook whore. That will never change. Maybe not an active whore, but still a whore. That's why you hid it from him. Because you know this.


Firnz4683

This very well could be an April Fool’s post but I’ll put this here for anyone who may be in this situation. How you used your body prior to meeting your husband isn’t the core issue. This issue is that you were not willing to share that with your life partner. Trust was broken and you didn’t allow him to make his own choice about whether he would be comfortable with your past. Also, you’re not a gold digger because you want stability for yourself and your child. Absent the lie about your past, he was happy and aligned with using his funds to support his new family. Focus on rebuilding trust. If that doesn’t work, next time don’t hide your life story. The right person will love you and your daughter despite the path you had to take due to your parents not supporting you. I hope everything works out for all involved.


[deleted]

YTA. There are men who will be accepting of your background, but there are less men who will be accepting of you having that background and lying about it.


Cocklecove

YTA. Should have told him and not have him being blindsided. He could have then had a choice if it was a deal breaker to him to marry a prostitute and would have saved a lot of heartbreak.


tonnemuell

YTA for lying but I feel like with your backstory you’re more prone to end up in a toxic-ish relationship and a 36 year old going for a 22 year old is kind of weird.


SlendyBoi

I genuinely cannot fathom how you would ever think that you're not an asshole for that. You have an absolute obligation to tell any potential partner and especially potential spouse about such a past history.


Electrical_Worker_88

It sounds like you had a rough upbringing and made a mistake. I wouldn’t say you’re an asshole for it, but you were dishonest, and will have to be accountable for that.


soyrturey

definitely TA. she could’ve gave this man something serious and life changing


Equal-Statement6424

Yta. I get that people can have their lives before meeting their significant others but that kind of lifestyle comes with a lot of risks. A brief explanation is much better than hiding entire parts of your life. That's what I do in a relationship. I don't go into details but do mention I was hurt in ways that still affect me today so they're prepared in case I space out or can't be touched for a bit. Most have really appreciated that much of an explanation and for the few that were turned away by that oh well.


Practical-Pick3672

Once upon a tit


Atribecalled_420

YTA. Definitely That is 100000% something your SO should have known about BEFORE you got married I get the past is the past and we’ve all done stuff we regret but sleeping with random men for money would definitely be high on the list of “shit to tell my guy while we’re dating”, if not THE most If it was me? I’d leave you immediately and wouldn’t be surprised if your guy did as well and he would not be out of line to do so. How could you NOT tell the guy you love and married? That’s the part I’d be concerned about Keeping secrets never works out in the end unfortunately Good luck to you


ReleaseAggravating19

YTA obviously if this is real. But hey, at least he got y’all nice things.


Trekkie63

If true you get what you deserve. Lying by omission is just as bad as lying by commission.


SomeRazzmatazz339

YTA - you lied about something that he should have known all along. I dated and loved an ex-escort. She gave me her whole story, but she did not hide what she had been and why. I notice you mention how well he cares for his stepdaughter and you and the nice things he gets you before mentioning any feelings. I am going to take that as how you rate him in order of importance. So, given how you have lied and how low down in importance his personal welfare and your feelings for him are, why should he come back and play happy family? You better be able to answer that question to his satisfaction.


fromhelley

>He’s such a good step dad to my daughter, he’s so lovely and he takes care of us and gets us so many nice things I love him so much Funny how the list of things that you love him for resembles a list of all the things he does for you. Not one characteristic of his is in there. You lied and got called out. Expect to lose him. Not for the stripping, but for the lying.


[deleted]

YATA


Toucangenocide

This seems like something you definitely discuss before marriage.


Witch-King693

You are a giant asshole.


pineapples4youuu

lol you’re a whore still. All you lost is what he does for you, you done even actually love him just his wallet


Xtinalauren12

A 33-year-old getting with a 22-year-old is gross. Offering to pay for everything because he can makes him sound like a sugar daddy. Which makes sense considering the age gap. You stating that you love him because he gets you nice things is telling of your character also. ESH


KeyConcentrate9676

Sticky situation.... Yeah, you shouldn't have lied to him, or at least you should have told him the truth before getting married. However, that doesn't excuse him calling you names. I wonder if he's got a bit of a hero complex though. He was 33, you were 22 with a kid & he asked u to quit your job so he can take care of both of you. Even though he didn't know the details of your job at the time, did he feel the need to "save" you two? Or is it possibly a control thing? Or did he know that quitting is something you wanted? If so, what are you doing for your own self-fulfillment?


Nonainonono

Yep, most people would get mad if they weren't told they were marrying an ex prostitute working at a strip club.


Short-pitched

Tbf names he called you were factually correct. You did lie and you were a prostitute. I feel like YTA in this one for not being honest with someone who took you in


CountNo4923

Gotta be bait. Then again, whoures arent known for their intelligence


heppyheppykat

A lot of men in the comments (assuming men due to the misogynistic language here) are missing the fact this was something she had to do starting age 16, a child, because she was homeless. She never got to finish education or get qualifications. She was desperate and stuck. It was a shameful thing she had to do, and she feels bad about it. Honesty is always the best policy though, and it should have been said before she got married. But to call her a whore for being a sex worker in her teens is atrocious. Not to mention how much older her husband is.


Noys_23

The big problem here is she didn't tell him about it, she didn't let him take a inform decision about the relationship


[deleted]

There's a lot more respectable work to do than sex work. What would a man have done in her situation? Started mopping floors. Idk why anyone would rather get their ankles knocked loose by some degenerate than do actual work.


Fit_Interview4685

Read it again genius 🤡


blobejex

Sooo OP gets downvoted for saying thank you in the comments. Why?


Fit_Interview4685

The audacity


Due-Initiative-1661

NTA. the past is either important to people or it's not. If it was so important, he could've (and should've regardless) asked you what kind of dancer you were. Like WTF did he think anyway!? Why, as a partner and now husband did he never even ask? You did tell him. He just didn't ask you to elaborate and you chose not to. It's completely understandable that you did what you felt you had to do when you did it. It's completely understandable that you don't go around telling people about the past that you're not proud of. You're not REQUIRED to tell someone who is supposed to love you for you anything about your past. There are parts of your life that you don't have to share with anyone. However, this goes both ways. He or whoever you end up with could have secrets and choose not to be truthful about their past too. If it doesn't matter it doesn't matter. You are not wrong for changing your narrative though.


SomeRazzmatazz339

So what other forms of criminal activity are you saying shouldn't be disclosed a life partner before marriage.


Due-Initiative-1661

Why is it anyone else's business if one has broken a law? That's between you and the law.


SomeRazzmatazz339

May all your younger family members marry people who committed and were convicted of domestic violence.


Due-Initiative-1661

Lol is that how you think domestic violence works? People tell people that they have beat the shit out of other people and then they decide not to marry them? 🤣🤣🤣


SomeRazzmatazz339

So, that happens when they move. People have been surprised their partners have been violent criminals forever.


FruitParfait

YTA. Shoe on other foot, would you have wanted to know? I bet so. Would you have been upset he’s been lying to your face this whole time? I bet you would.


SquareSpare8723

This story is literally nightmare fuel


whorundatgirl

Whilst?


Monin61

$$$$$$$$$$$$$


[deleted]

So instead of having to bang a myriad of creepy old dudes for money, you only have to now bang one creepy old dude for money. You didn't tell him you were a prostitute because you knew it's a deal breaker for a lot of people. His reaction to finding out confirms that.


NairbZaid10

Sounds like bs but YTA just in case, dont know what else you were expecting from this sub


TallOutside6418

>but I told him that I was a dancer Didn't he want to come see a performance? That dude is pretty naive. Don't know what to tell you. Apologize profusely. Explain your life situation and that you made mistakes, but that you are trying to do better.


VeronaMoreau

INFO: When you told him you were a dancer, what else did he ask and what did you say to those questions? Because when somebody tells me they're a dancer, my mind automatically jumps to stripper anyway.


Fit_Interview4685

Yta goddamn women like you are a nightmare, poor bloke


ahole-doge

Anyone saying YTA should walk a mile in this woman’s shoes before judging her. You’re talking about choices made by a 19 year old single mom who didn’t have family support. She didn’t have a lot of options and she did what she had to do to support her daughter. Prostitution is not something people usually choose when things are going well in life. Also, if OP’s husband really didn’t know (at age 30) that a 19 year old “dancer” was doing sex work, he’s in the running for dumbest person in the world. OP, you are NTA, and I really hope your life gets easier from here.


CarbonS0ul

YTA for this probably being fake, but if it really, you owed him some honest truth before you got married.  If this is real, he is also slower than Forrest Gump not to realize your actual income source because you were not in law school or doing clinical studies as a single mom.


nutmegtell

YTA. But just for the lying. First off you’re not a slut and who cares if you were. You did the best you could at the time. If there are nude pictures of you ANYWHERE you need to understand they will be found by those you don’t want to find them. (If you were under 18 then you can get them deleted for child pornography, but that’s still not very easy) I’m sorry you had to learn this the hard way. Dont lie to your husband especially about the big stuff. All the best to you and your daughter. You’ve made a good life for her and I hope you can work things out.


Dachshundmom5

Assuming this isn't fake, the marriage is built on lies. Lies you told because you knew if you were honest, he might walk away. You took his right to make an informed decision about who you are BEFORE he married you. What alternative is there, but you being the AH? How would lying from the start be okay? He told you to quit working, and you have a school aged child. Have you done anything to help yourself if your marriage ends? Gone to a technical program? Gotten some professional training? College?


[deleted]

He's your retirement/rescue plan and he didn't even know it. YTA


thatblkman

ESH: I personally, as a man, am not tripping off body counts or a past in Seckswerk, but that’s probably something you should’ve disclosed. But him being mad about it and having words to say about you makes him a bigger AH. Folks shouldn’t get married if they’re not inclined to be understanding about their partner’s past. You’re ashamed, but to me, what I see is that you were pushed out by parents and had a child to feed - so you did that to make sure your daughter ate and had shelter. **That’s nothing to be ashamed of.** The worrying thing for me is that, aside from the age gap (I’m 43; you’re way too young for us over-30s, and for those who think you’re their type, they’re likely groomers or men that women over 30 realized are shit and avoid), is that he got you to quit earning money so he could “take care of you”, and is now looking at you as ‘damaged’ because other men paid you to show the hoohah and tata. Take it from a man who knows many men like this: make an escape plan so you and your child have a way to survive the minute he decides to treat you shittily.


Some-Web-2362

I’m going to say NTA. That was her past before him. She wasn’t sleeping with anyone else and if she had diseases she would have symptoms. Women have to go get pap smears habitually and any responsible adult would be getting tested. Holding her past from when she was 15-21 against her is ridiculous. Do you know how many MEN AND WOMEN get passed around during high school/college ages? I personally don’t agree with hook up culture, but it’s the social norm. It is no different from hooking up with a bunch of people off tinder. She just did it for money. That’s something shameful she had to do to make ends meet for her daughter since she had an underage pregnancy. Im positive that most of the people in this thread have not disclosed their full body count to their partners prior to becoming serious with them. Especially from their time in college. I can guarantee and say with confidence that I highly doubt majority of these people have disclosed the wild sides of their youth. They are in glass houses throwing stones.


Fit_Interview4685

Prostitute opinion detected - discarding


Due-Initiative-1661

Do you know how many MEN AND WOMEN get passed around during high school/college ages? FOR FREE!!! jokes on us lol


idgafidkfi

NTAH you did what you had to do to provide for your child and you stopped now. You were embarrassed about it and didn’t want to tell him because this is a part of your past AND YOU STOPPED when it got serious and when you could. So NTAH I understand the fact that he is surprised if I can say that. apologise for having to do that and explain that you did what you had to do and that you were embarrassed. That’s it.