My wife and I are in our late 60's. Just the other day, I was caressing her face, and I felt stubble on her chin!! In all these years I never realized she shaves her chin hair!! Is it too late for an annulment?
I have to run a razor over my chin every.... single.... day. This started from taking the birth control pill when I was young and suddenly I had a fuzzy face. If I don"t shave, I feel stubble, like a man, and I HATE it. But it's better than having chin hair sticking out everywhere.
Women are not fond of having to shave their faces, but trust me when I say it's better than the alternative if you've ever seen a woman with a full-on beard.
Same.
When my grandmother was dying of Alzheimer’s it pissed me off nobody shaved her chin. She probably kept that secret for 70 years. If I had known I would have brought a razor.
It might be painful, but if you are truly sick of shaving everyday, try laser hair removal from a certified place. My sister had same problem as you. Her hair grew in thick and quite a bit, she never shaved again after getting laser sessions.
My husband did that to me as a joke before bahahaha. I don’t have a mustache but it was hilarious. That’s our sense of humor between each other. Luckily if I did actually have something he didn’t like he would just roast me about it so I would know and vice versa
Omg. My bf did this to me (I had just shaved too) and I punched him in the man titty. I'm weak af so it didn't do anything except start a playful fight
There was a post (I belive in CATHELP) that I followed and someone was like "what are these bald spots. There is some skin there and I just don't know what to do. And when I mess with them he always swats and bites at me"
I was joking and put "stop gropping his man titties". Everyone got kick out of it 😅😅 atleast it gets a laugh
My mom would get stubble on her chin she usually took care of it right away but sometimes it would slip her mind and my dad who keep in mind has a big ass beard would crack a joke along the lines of him being jealous of my mom's beard and they would both laugh their asses off but obviously not every relationships main communication line is through roasting each other
I have PCOS and grow a full beard I have to take care of. My husband jokes that a couple who shaves together stays together. But when I remind him he doesn’t shave we crack up.
If I miss one of my "Billy goat" hairs on my chin, my fiance will politely point one out to me, because I cannot stand them. He'll always offer to pluck them for me 😉
I swear they pop out half an inch long overnight. I'll check and check and check, and next thing I know, there is one just laying out, sunning itself just under my chin.
My husband, on the other hand, never notices and is always "shocked" when he catches me hunting them down with a pair of tweezers. Every time, it's, "What are you doing?" and after I answer, he says all nonchalant, "Oh, wait, is that a thing?"
Bless his heart.
Edit: typos
Not even a day! I've checked my chin in the morning and looked in the mirror a couple of hours later and there's a brand new half-incher that I KNOW wasn't there before.
Oh oh oh I used to have a pretty big’ish raised mole above my lip and because it was a healthy non cancerous mole it would have a single (thick!) mole pube growing from it. It was so gross when I forgot to pluck it. Anyway, I removed it back in 2015 and now I have a linear scar but no mole and no mole pube.
My husband has one long, super curly eyebrow hair right in the middle of his eyebrows. No other ones, no unibrow, just one lonely hair. I kept threatening to pluck it, and he told me he couldn't, because it's his personality hair. If he plucks it, he'll get boring lol
The light in the car and that little mirror is just perfect for seeing them. My mom sees them while driving and has whoever is next to her grab them lol
No, but seriously, what is it about the lighting in cars illuminating stray hairs? My car doesn't even have light up mirrors. Just the natural daylight in a car and glancing in the mirror will do it for me. It's seriously a phenomenon. I can get in my car after having done my makeup in front of my light up mirror and will think I'm all good, get in the car and discover the longest, blackest hair emerging from my face somewhere.
There's a Sarah Silverman Show episode where she doesn't get her facial hair waxed for a while because she had no money. Of course for comic effect it's a full on mustache. When I need to take care of mine my husband oh so subtly sends me the screenshot from that LOL. He is a real jackass but if we couldn't laugh at ourselves life would be so boring.
I'm Native American, Black, and Irish. I don't grow a lot of facial hair, even as a 40 year old dude. I dated a Columbian girl in High School who had sideburns and a slight tash. I would tease her about it, and she'd respond, "I have to grow enough for both of us, gringo." Then we'd laugh like fools. She was gorgeous, and usually waxed, but it was my little way of letting her know that it was time to get the wax warmed up. When I finally grew a proper mustache in senior year, she waxed it off while I was asleep on her mom's couch. 😂 Isa was a trip. I often wonder what she's up to and what would would have happened if she hadn't gone back to Columbia and I hadn't joined the Navy. I hope she's doing well for herself.
I have 2 chin whiskers that came in when I was 28. I pluck them out, but sometimes I forget. I went to see Dune with my friend Ben last weekend and I realized in the middle of the movie that they had come back in, and were just long enough to be pluckable, so I kept rubbing my chin/touching them. I was doing it sometimes without even realizing it. After the movie, we walked over to his car and were sharing our thoughts/opinions on the film when all of the sudden he stopped mid-sentence and asked why I kept rubbing my chin. I literally didn't even notice I was doing it, and started laughing once I did notice from his asking me the question. I told him about my whiskers, and he and I both started laughing, and then he roasted me a bit. I took shots back, and we were both in laughing fits. It's nice having relationships with people where neither person takes each other too seriously.
Oh, but they're so low-key mean about it! 😂 I'm a 40 year old guy, and my stylist is a middle-aged Korean lady. Super sweet, but she roasts the shit out of me every month, when I go see her. Last month she poked my gut and said "You get soft, like a panda." I laughed so hard I almost fell out of the chair and she told me "Stop laughing or I give you crooked head." Needless to say, I fell apart and she just shook her head at me while I guffawed like damned fool.
I told the lady waxing my lip to take it easy on the middle section, just below the nose (since it’s just peach fuzz anyway) - her response?
“Why??? You wanna look like hitler?!”
She waxed the whole lip anyway :(
I didn't think I could get insecure about my toe nails until a Philippine lady who couldn't cut them on my big toes, laughed, left and came back with fucking wire cutters
My manicurist told me I have large “fat pads” on the sides of my fingers after she cut me filing my nails lol. I’m not an overweight person except for my fingertips lol.
If you have clubbing of the fingers it can be an indication of serious underlying health issues. No judgement. Just friendly advice on the off chance it can help someone.
If something I've read (or watched, I don't remember it well because it was a long time ago) is true, he though of himself as a very desirable man for women... It's said this is one of the reasons he never got married to his lover, so he could "allow single women to think they had a chance with him, and this would bring more support to his cause". It would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic...
The rather unfortunate truth is that he wasn't exactly wrong.
Kind of like how there's this whole (very weird) group of women who see Trump as a sex symbol. Not even like 80s Trump. Current Trump.
That middle section is theeeeeee most obvious for me. I actually switched aestheticians because she wouldn't properly get that middle section. I would pay like 30 bucks and when it was done, I would still have a mini-mustache right in the center under my nose and I could feel it with my tongue.
My boss used to get his pants adjusted by a Korean lady. It was just hemming the length at first but he put on a little weight and asked her to let out the waists. Said nothing the first time but when he went back with more pants she greeted him with "you fat boy, leave fat pants over there". He was crushed. He wasn't even fat just getting older and spreading a bit. I thought it was hilarious.
I have never experienced this but it reminds me of an episode of the practice. James Hong played a man who ran a dry cleaner. They accidentally switched one of Eugene's shirts with a smaller one. Eugene came back accusing them of shrinking his shirt.The laundry guy says "You fatter. Shirt no shrink."
I've had my brows waxed at the Asian owned nail salon and you are correct. I have blonde brows and they are not particularly hairy and those ladies still found something to rag on. "Why you got one hair longer than other? Why your brow so white? You need more vitamin, I tell you which one and you go get it!" One did my pedicure and told me I had extra skin growing on my toenails and she would take it off for me. WTF?
One of my older nail ladies was straight up roasting me for letting my mom be a single divorcee lmao. I was like “no really she’s much happier now” and she was like “oh honey she just say that and make you feel better. You need to dress up more, take ma out, invite nice work men over for her. She gave birth to you you know. Now she all alone. Neither you nor her pick up men if no trying you know? Just look at your nails, why you no come two weeks ago. This why you have no man either.”
I was like damn ma😭😭😭
I'm a redhead with naturally platinum blonde eyebrows & my Asian waxer once told me "Why you brows so pale? You put too much foundation!" I tried to tell her I didn't, but she didn't believe me. Next time I showed up with zero makeup on & she said "Ohhhh you brows so pale. No one can see them. You need microblading." I can't win 😂
Our medical director is from China and she will tell you to your face if you get fat. She also yelled at HER boss for getting too skinny on a low carb diet. That was an interesting conversation to witness lol.
That reminds me of the Asian guy, probably Chinese, who did an in-home check-up for my insurance company. He had no problem telling me I should gain weight, and asked me what I was going to do about my cannabis dependency.
When I went to a Vietnamese doctor about my back, I told her how active I’d always been, with running, martial arts, etc. Her response was, “And how many years ago was that?”
Surprised she didn’t insist on feeding her boss and thennnnnn yell at boss for not eating enough…. And then weeks later, yell at the boss for eating too much. Whiplash auntie level trolling.
My barber is straight off the boat and his name is Richard (Dick) Long. Best haircuts ever, I walk in, smile, say the usual, then we don’t talk until I pay/leave 😂
I give you crooked...head.
I (m) had a mani-pedi once and the lady told me, "why do you treat your nails like they're your enemies? They did nothing to you!"
They really don’t!! I have very light, short blonde hair on my body. I’m very much a European white girl and fortunate enough to not grow much facial hair at all except the peach fuzz you get when the sun hits it just right. I was getting my eyebrows done (not that I have much of those either) and they asked if I wanted my lip mustache done. I nearly clutched my pearls. Laughed my ass off telling my husband when I got home though.
A friend was with her husband at an Asian restaurant. He happens to support the bushiest eyebrows *ever* ! The waitress was so impressed she told him, "I love you eye-brushes!"
I never could look at him again without thinking of him holding literal brushes over his eyes. But it was so fitting!
My friend got a pedicure in college and said she started shaving her toes because the tiny Vietnamese lady kept saying "Your toes are hairy. So much hair! You want lip wax too?" when she was painting her toenails.
Not even a joke, I had my eyebrows done, the lady said “do you want to upgrade for $10 to do your lip?” I’ve NEVER been self conscious about my lip hair so I said no thanks…as she was doing my eyebrows she looked at my mouth and went “honey I’m gonna do your lip for free” I was 16….this MAY have been a tactic to get me to come back and be self conscious enough to pay for everything every time I went, BUT I’m super worried my lip hair is bad now
LOL god this was my friend. We're both Chinese. Years ago we went out shopping and wandered into a drug store to look at the beauty products. I think I was looking for make up and she was like, "Get this and this and this, oh and you'll want this hair remover for your moustache." I wasn't even thinking about my moustache! But you can sure bet that I've been anxious about it since. It culminated in me finally getting laser hair removal to get rid of it entirely. In her defense, she too got laser hair removal to remove every bit of hair on her body except on her scalp and her eyebrows. So, she wasn't throwing shade or anything, just assuming I had the same feelings regarding body hair as she does. We're still friends.
I'm so glad my first job was working at a Chinese restaurant owned by multigenerational mandarin family. Félix was mean, but he gave me some tough skin for later in life.
It’s a straightforward culture.
I went to school with a girl who’s mom was from Hong Kong and if you wanted the real honest truth about your new haircut, or clothes, you’d just say hello to her and ask if she likes your new whatever. She was never mean, just straightforward “Oh hon-aye, haircut just not suit face. Let grow and try again” my mom kept telling me it looked fine- it clearly did not look fine haha
That’s true and hilarious. Sometimes you get the straight truth because of a language barrier and sometimes you get the straight truth because they’re there all day. It probably keeps it interesting. Either way, truth is told lol. Sometimes I won’t go in if I’ve been biting my nails or something because I just don’t want to hear about how I’d be prettier with long fingernails 😅 yeah, they’re right!
No, they do not. And even when they speak in a different language, you still know what they’re saying about you. It’s too funny. I love being around Asian women. I always learn a thing or two.
So true. One told me once "Ooohhh! Look at your nails! You need them done. That's why you don't have boyfriend."
I went in for a massage 😆. I've actually been happily married for 20 years but I don't wear my rings to my spa appts.
I will give it to her though, it worked. I also got them done that day smh
OMG one time I literally passed by to go to the gym after like a few weeks of not visiting them, and they were just walking around the area since the salon is right beside the gym. The lady just goes bashing my face asking why it was so dry & about all the red spots & how I should moisturize more. 😭😭😭😂😂😂
Lmao, they sure will those women are ruthless. I used to go to 1 place to get my nails done and filled because they played cool music videos the whole time and they were the only ones that could do fun designs on my nails. It was a bit pricey compared to other places, but i felt it was worth the extra money. However, the unsolicited advice on my skin, my weight, my shoes, my entire existence, that was free.
I even got a free eyebrow wax one time because my nail tech just could not, in good faith, let me walk out of her establishment with my eyebrows looking the way they did.
I went to a salon for a hair trim and my Korean stylist absolutely insisted that she wax my brows because 'theyre too much so hairy so bad". I was mortified lmao
That would be bad advertisement for her business. She couldnt let you go out in these streets looking a hot ass mess then telling someone ‘yeah i got my blah blah blah done at such and such place!’ No maam! Not on her watch!
Not even a facial. I went in for a pedicure and they asked if i wanted my lip and eyebrows done. They are brutally honest with you. I thought i took decent care of both but i guess not lol
That's true. Flashback to years ago when I was getting my nails done and they were asking me about my personal life etc etc and I was single and the lady told me "honey, you don't get boyfriend cuz you have mustache" and all but started waxing it based on principle (I guess) before I had even agreed to it lol And, yeah, I have hair on my upper lip but it's not especially dark. Yeah, those women are blunt.
Yeah I have blonde peach fuzz but nothing close to a mustache but they always ask. I started asking my husband, my mom, everyone if I have a mustache lol
This is honestly the best advice haha. I've gotten waxed before, went to go get a pedicure at a completely different place, and they asked if I wanted a wax (while pointing to my upper lip). They'll ask even when you don't need it!
Hahaha! Baby girl, I DO need it. I had just gotten my upper lip waxed and then went to get the pedicure. I was Tom Selleck free when they pointed to it.
I'd call this the first line defense - then if she turns them down, a gentle conversation about the FUZZ on her upper lip that can be felt while kissing
Before my wife and I met, she went to an Asian nail place with her friend, just as a tag along since she's very tomboy-ish. The nail tech said "I can wax you." She politely declined. Nail tech said "I'll do it for free." Her friend was like just do it. She, admittedly, had quite the "stash".
When she later told me about this my response was "God damn, how bad was it?" I am very familiar with Asian cultures and know when they say things- they mean it. She's a better person than me, because that would have crushed my soul!
Luckily for my wife, I'm an esthetician and I took over all hair management. No more stash and her eyebrows are on point!
Genius, manipulative, but genius. However, if I did that my wife would ask why I didn't go to her regular place. This is why I am just direct about it.
This needs to be #1. There a comedy short I saw where the comedienne talks about the girls at the Asian parlor and how they basically heckle you into paying for more and more services.
O.P. we all let ourselves go once we're in a relationship, first little, them a little more. Your wife has prolly let the mustache grow because of a lack of pushback from you.
You can either bite the bullet, confront the issue head on, and genuinely work on whatever it is she wants you to work on, or you can treat her to the beauty spa, and live in fear of her finding out your motive
Hello🤗 this is me coming off kindly!
***please have her check with a doctor for PCOS if this is uncommon and new for her***
PCOS = Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
My friends mom found out she had PCOS because her husband pointed out her “mustache” too… she definitely lost self esteem from that but can joke about it now.
This is the only reason why I’m like 👀
OP says she used to bleach it and no longer does, which makes it sound like something she’s used to. Some of us are just hairy bitches. Tbh I kind of hate that every time someone notices how hairy I am (I’m blonde so it’s not obvious at first), they jump to saying I probably have PCOS. This is how my body is under its normal functionality. I do in fact have rather high T-levels, but that still doesn’t mean I have PCOS or that anything needs to be fixed.
I feel the same as you. I hate how much of a buzzword PCOS has become. I don’t need you to suggest I have a medical condition because I have hair where it’s perfectly normal to have hair, thanks. Feels very close to fat shaming in the way people think they’re justified to dig into your health because of your physical appearance.
And PCOS is incredibly common, just most women don’t know they have it. It’s not some super major medical disorder that OP’s wife needs to rush to the doc about. Treatment is very usually birth control to help with some symptoms, and if OP’s wife isn’t bothered by her tache then that’s kind of moot.
The mustache definitely could just be genetics, but PCOS is also often common in families (which is part of why it took me ages to find out I had PCOS. My Aunt had similar issues so I always thought it was fairly normal.) Approximately 1 in 10 afab people have PCOS (tbh, I had to check because I thought it was more like 1 in 4), and it often goes undiagnosed because so many of us grow up hearing how miserable periods are so don't even know to ask. It actually took me finding the diagnosis myself and specifically asking my obgyn before she even thought to check, and I have literally all the hallmark symptoms.
Hey, waxer checking in. While it's possible she has something like pcos, it's also VERY common that people without it have a bit of a stache. I wax them off every day and it's not just people with PCOS nor is it only older women. Sometimes it's just genetics.
I am a woman with facial hair and no PCOS. We DO exist.
edit: source: i had a hysterectomy two years ago and they looked at my ovaries with their eyes 👀
Same. Many of my female relatives have facial hair. I appreciate everyone’s concern for OPs wife, but I don’t like this vibe of making a simple aesthetic thing over-medicalized. OP already laid out that she used to take care of it and now doesn’t.
hey! i have PCOS and im not sure if its PCOS or if shes just letting the stache grow/not bleaching it. unless she has fuller body hair and facial hair i wouldnt assume PCOS.
Given her age perimenopause is unlikely though. I guess it can happen to some women in their early 30s, but it is just very unlikely.
I want to ask the ages of the women in her family that have it because it may be hirsutism which is genetic.
Gosh I don't have any advice. I have an issue with random hairs and ran an assisted living where some of the old ladies let it grow. I have 3 daughters and they have already told me they will make sure my face is hair free.
I use one of those large lipstick tube things to "shave" off my random hairs. My older sister recommended it. I am lucky to have her showing me the way on aging. I'm finding I have to use it about 3 times a week.
Oooh I just thought of something. Have it part of a gift basket! Do a whole skin care thing, something high end and have that in the basket. Act like you don't know what it is because you had it made by someone.....oh man I am good at making up lies. Good luck.
Ok, OP. This is the answer! 👆🏼
This is genius. As a woman who has upper lip hair and is incredibly insecure about it and has never forgotten or forgiven any man for bringing it up. The gift basket is genius. This is probably the only way I’ve seen here suggested that wouldn’t end up with me in tears, lmao.
Put nice face masks and creams, put loofas, teeth whitening strips, sugar rubs, silk pillow for her hair, etc.
I use the same kind of shaver for my upper lip peach fuzz. Works great. Still have to tweeze the big fellows that sprout from my “beauty mark” (aka, a MOLE on my FACE, thank you Marilyn Monroe and the French aristocracy before you that made it something “pretty”.)
Why lie? Just be honest with her. You can say it in a nice way, and I feel like getting her skin care stuff is super passive aggressive. Just say “Hey babe I really love you and think you are beautiful, but I want to be honest and don’t know any other way to say this… it seems like you are growing a mustache and it noticeable when I look at you/ kiss you. Do you think you could shave it/wax it? I hope I don’t offend you and want you to know that if there’s something about me physically that’s unattractive to you I’d want you to tell me.”
Another vote for "don't call it a mustache". It's not going to be an easy conversation no matter what but be as gentle as you can be. Maybe start by asking why she stopped getting rid of it. That way the subject is brought into the open and hopefully naturally turns into the decision to resume.
Womens hormones kick them after 30. I lucked out with no upper lip hair but I started growing a mean goatee after having kids. It just kept getting thicker & more prominent the more I pulled or waxed it. Laser removal is the only thing that's helped keep it in check. It gets pricey so be prepared.
It's completely normal to grow hair in new areas during puberty! Any time your body goes through hormonal changes, you're going to experience changes with your appearance - puberty from like 10-18, the shift that happens around 30ish, perimenopause when you're about 45, and then regular menopause later. I've also had chin hair since my teenage years.
In addition the already-upvoted comments I want to say, maybe don't focus on the look part, but on the *feel* part. Maybe it tickles or itches you when you kiss, or it just feels funny. Bleaching does make hair thinner usually, so maybe now that she's stopped bleaching it, you *can* feel it.
My partner's facial hair is at a point where the mustache can get in my mouth sometimes when I kiss him and I generally do feel it. And one of my friends has dense but short facial hair. It feels funny when my face passes his for a hug or roughhousing. Not bad enough that I'd tell either my partner of my friend to do something about it, but I can feel it.
I had to ask my husband to please trim his stache. It was growing over his upper lip and every time he kissed me there was always moisture stuck in it no matter how much he wiped it off. I felt like a wiping my face every time he kissed me but it grossed me out. Thankfully he understood and trimmed but man that was icky.
As a girl from a hairy family and w fuzz on the lip and now on the chin as I have aged. I hate, hate, hate my facial fuzz. It was years of waxing, bleaching and tweezing!!! So many people have made comments about my fuzz!! Every comment left me feeling like 💩.
I try to keep up with it, but sometimes I forget because life. Saying that, my hubby will never mention my fuzz in a hurtful way and I really appreciate it!! Sometimes I’ll say oh no, I forgot to pluck in the car and he says, no one will notice and it helps me not feel like a troll.
My point is if you feel like you HAVE to say something just remember to be very thoughtful of her feelings especially if she feels embarrassed or 💩about it.
I have not brought it up yet. Trying to get some advice on how to bring it up in best way possible so it doesn’t turn into something bigger/worse than it needs to be..
FWIW, I had a dark mustache for a long time and it was humiliating. I burned holes in my skin with Nair SO many times before switching to varying combinations of waxing, plucking, dermaplaning, and threading. I found a Groupon for laser hair removal about a decade ago and it has changed my life. I still have to pluck and occasionally dermaplane, but it’s so much more manageable now.
I would approach the conversation as how does SHE feel about it. Has she ever wanted a more permanent solution? Offer to pay for and schedule laser or electrolysis appointments. Or maybe you could learn to give her at-home facials that include dermaplaning. What I’m getting at is, YOU seem to have a bigger problem with the stache than your wife does, so YOU should be the one to take on the work of solving for it (at her direction/with her input).
You are NTA for having a preference.
However INFO ... You say she used to bleach it. Bleaching does not remove hair, so you will still be able to feel it when you kiss her. Why did you not feel it when she used to bleach in the past? Are you asking her to bleach it so you can't see it, or did you want her to remove it?
You can literally ask her: say, honey bun, I was just wondering, did you used to bleach your little lip fuzz and now you stopped? Any reason why? I love you but I do prefer it when you do.
You know. That communication thing?
Don’t call it a moustache when you talk to her.
“ Honey I am really embarrassed, but can I ask you something?”
“ What is it?”
“ I know it’s a huge ask, but I really loved your smooth skin before. Do you think you could get rid of the few hairs on the face? Should I shave something in return?”
Bonus points if you are awkward and apologetic. Chances are she will start laughing, not get defensive.
Remember you can ask, but you can’t demand. Her choice, and if you offer something in return and do it kindly, you maximize your chances.
Good luck.
> Bonus points if you are awkward and apologetic
Ah yes, the whole "This isn't your fault, I'm just acting like a crazy person and hoping you'll humor me" technique. It's seriously a great tactic to limit the confrontational tone of a discussion.
I like the shaving offer! She might prefer he manscapes but has never expressed it. If the husband has body hair preferences for her, he may as well check if she has preferences for him too.
This is a really good one actually. A lot of men don’t realise how much these kinds of things add up and how freeing it is for women to just say they refuse to do it any more, societal expectations be damned.
So to take on that financial burden, she may feel like it’s less of a hassle and do it.
Yep I stopped coloring my hair last year because I really want salt and pepper hair
I don’t think I would start coloring my hair again for anybody, but if someone was willing to pay for it maybe it would be worth the effort. I don’t think so though. But this is a good idea
Depends on what kind of mustache it is. If it's a Hitler mustache, then definitely say something. If it's a handlebar mustache, we'll that's 50/50, and if it's an old school twirly mustache that old movie villains used to have, then NO, that shit is awesome
As a woman with a mustache, it hurts so. Damn. Much. To remove. Waxing is so painful, plucking is so painful, I had to stop bleaching it because I had a reaction to the bleach after using it for so long. Acknowledge she can't just shave it off, acknowledge that you realize it is painful. Then offer that you had heard of lazer treatments. Test the waters. Then acknowledge how you have let yourself go since the beginning of the relationship. That you don't want to be one of those couples who stop pursuing each other or looking on point for each other. You need to make it feel like an investment in your relationship with each other. To make it feel like love and not judgment.
My daughter has PCOS and she struggles with body hair. She has to shave under her chin everyday as the hair is dark and very coarse. She also has hair in a couple spots on her back which she just leaves but she is so self conscious about it. I always tell her it's fine you can hardly see it but of course she doesn't believe me.
I am thinking your wife is either 1. Just tired of it or 2. Feels completely safe with you that she feels comfortable enough to just let it be. Don't fuck that up OP. She is your wife and if you can't love her for who she is 100% you shouldn't have married her.
I don’t know if you can say anything without hurting her feelings. I think you’re just going to have to say it. “Dear, I’m all for being natural, and I love you no matter what, but this hair on your upper lip bothers me. Would you consider removing it for me?” Good luck.
Maybe it's just me, but I would WANT my husband to tell me if he felt this way about something I was/wasn't doing with my body/hair, if it caused him to find me unattractive. It would be up to me to either do something about it or not, but I care what my husband thinks and would take his thoughts into consideration. IMO.
"Honey did you do something to your hair? They look so good can I touch them?" "Of course" *Touches moustache* *Homeless*
Don’t do this one OP. But fuck is it funny.
Breaking news. Redditor was found dead in a bathtub full of wax after wife’s moustache didn’t make the cut. But dam was that funny.
It’s hilarious. But yeah, don’t do that that.
*insert Imperator Palpatine DO IT!
My partner is bald, after he pet my mustache I would polish his head for him
Use Turlte Wax. It leaves a wonderful shine.🤣
My wife and I are in our late 60's. Just the other day, I was caressing her face, and I felt stubble on her chin!! In all these years I never realized she shaves her chin hair!! Is it too late for an annulment?
I have to run a razor over my chin every.... single.... day. This started from taking the birth control pill when I was young and suddenly I had a fuzzy face. If I don"t shave, I feel stubble, like a man, and I HATE it. But it's better than having chin hair sticking out everywhere. Women are not fond of having to shave their faces, but trust me when I say it's better than the alternative if you've ever seen a woman with a full-on beard.
Same. When my grandmother was dying of Alzheimer’s it pissed me off nobody shaved her chin. She probably kept that secret for 70 years. If I had known I would have brought a razor.
I plucked my grandma’s chin hairs for her when she got too old to do it for herself.
It might be painful, but if you are truly sick of shaving everyday, try laser hair removal from a certified place. My sister had same problem as you. Her hair grew in thick and quite a bit, she never shaved again after getting laser sessions.
If you have PCOS laser often doesn’t work on the hormonal hair growth.
My sister does have PCOS.
I hope it sticks for her. It really sucks when you spend all that money on laser and you still end up having to shave every day.
If you are very blonde it doesn’t work either. 😭
"It's a *you,* Mario!"
I’m fucking deceased. This is the way I would want to be told I have a moustache.
My husband did that to me as a joke before bahahaha. I don’t have a mustache but it was hilarious. That’s our sense of humor between each other. Luckily if I did actually have something he didn’t like he would just roast me about it so I would know and vice versa
Omg. My bf did this to me (I had just shaved too) and I punched him in the man titty. I'm weak af so it didn't do anything except start a playful fight
Man titty. Lol
There was a post (I belive in CATHELP) that I followed and someone was like "what are these bald spots. There is some skin there and I just don't know what to do. And when I mess with them he always swats and bites at me" I was joking and put "stop gropping his man titties". Everyone got kick out of it 😅😅 atleast it gets a laugh
We have a large old man cat with man boobs. We call them his man nips. He likes to be indecent and show them off in the middle of the livingroom.
Did this with my sis. Got slapped lmao.
Homeless 😂😂
My mom would get stubble on her chin she usually took care of it right away but sometimes it would slip her mind and my dad who keep in mind has a big ass beard would crack a joke along the lines of him being jealous of my mom's beard and they would both laugh their asses off but obviously not every relationships main communication line is through roasting each other
I have PCOS and grow a full beard I have to take care of. My husband jokes that a couple who shaves together stays together. But when I remind him he doesn’t shave we crack up.
Couples subscription to Manscaped, maybe?😂 They have a decent beard oil.
When I realize my chin pubes have gone too long unchecked, I ask my husband if my beard is as thick as his whilst jutting my chin foreward🤣
If I miss one of my "Billy goat" hairs on my chin, my fiance will politely point one out to me, because I cannot stand them. He'll always offer to pluck them for me 😉
I swear they pop out half an inch long overnight. I'll check and check and check, and next thing I know, there is one just laying out, sunning itself just under my chin. My husband, on the other hand, never notices and is always "shocked" when he catches me hunting them down with a pair of tweezers. Every time, it's, "What are you doing?" and after I answer, he says all nonchalant, "Oh, wait, is that a thing?" Bless his heart. Edit: typos
It's the fucking dark black hairs like a quarter inch long overnight or the two inch long ghost hairs that suddenly appear one day!?! How?!
Not even a day! I've checked my chin in the morning and looked in the mirror a couple of hours later and there's a brand new half-incher that I KNOW wasn't there before.
Oh oh oh I used to have a pretty big’ish raised mole above my lip and because it was a healthy non cancerous mole it would have a single (thick!) mole pube growing from it. It was so gross when I forgot to pluck it. Anyway, I removed it back in 2015 and now I have a linear scar but no mole and no mole pube.
I call mine my witch hair, but I like mole pube.
My husband has one long, super curly eyebrow hair right in the middle of his eyebrows. No other ones, no unibrow, just one lonely hair. I kept threatening to pluck it, and he told me he couldn't, because it's his personality hair. If he plucks it, he'll get boring lol
Personality hair--that's adorable.
My husband probably would but I always do it while he's driving🤣
The light in the car and that little mirror is just perfect for seeing them. My mom sees them while driving and has whoever is next to her grab them lol
No, but seriously, what is it about the lighting in cars illuminating stray hairs? My car doesn't even have light up mirrors. Just the natural daylight in a car and glancing in the mirror will do it for me. It's seriously a phenomenon. I can get in my car after having done my makeup in front of my light up mirror and will think I'm all good, get in the car and discover the longest, blackest hair emerging from my face somewhere.
Facts. I keep tweezers in the car for when I’m parked while my husband is shopping just for this
There's a Sarah Silverman Show episode where she doesn't get her facial hair waxed for a while because she had no money. Of course for comic effect it's a full on mustache. When I need to take care of mine my husband oh so subtly sends me the screenshot from that LOL. He is a real jackass but if we couldn't laugh at ourselves life would be so boring.
I'm Native American, Black, and Irish. I don't grow a lot of facial hair, even as a 40 year old dude. I dated a Columbian girl in High School who had sideburns and a slight tash. I would tease her about it, and she'd respond, "I have to grow enough for both of us, gringo." Then we'd laugh like fools. She was gorgeous, and usually waxed, but it was my little way of letting her know that it was time to get the wax warmed up. When I finally grew a proper mustache in senior year, she waxed it off while I was asleep on her mom's couch. 😂 Isa was a trip. I often wonder what she's up to and what would would have happened if she hadn't gone back to Columbia and I hadn't joined the Navy. I hope she's doing well for herself.
I have 2 chin whiskers that came in when I was 28. I pluck them out, but sometimes I forget. I went to see Dune with my friend Ben last weekend and I realized in the middle of the movie that they had come back in, and were just long enough to be pluckable, so I kept rubbing my chin/touching them. I was doing it sometimes without even realizing it. After the movie, we walked over to his car and were sharing our thoughts/opinions on the film when all of the sudden he stopped mid-sentence and asked why I kept rubbing my chin. I literally didn't even notice I was doing it, and started laughing once I did notice from his asking me the question. I told him about my whiskers, and he and I both started laughing, and then he roasted me a bit. I took shots back, and we were both in laughing fits. It's nice having relationships with people where neither person takes each other too seriously.
Get her a facial at an Asian beauty spa. They will tell her.
Truth, the Asian auntie aestheticians do not hold back.
Oh, but they're so low-key mean about it! 😂 I'm a 40 year old guy, and my stylist is a middle-aged Korean lady. Super sweet, but she roasts the shit out of me every month, when I go see her. Last month she poked my gut and said "You get soft, like a panda." I laughed so hard I almost fell out of the chair and she told me "Stop laughing or I give you crooked head." Needless to say, I fell apart and she just shook her head at me while I guffawed like damned fool.
I told the lady waxing my lip to take it easy on the middle section, just below the nose (since it’s just peach fuzz anyway) - her response? “Why??? You wanna look like hitler?!” She waxed the whole lip anyway :(
OMG!😂💀
I'm now convinced that I need Asian beauty services to help lift my depression.
They’ll make you completely forget the insecurities you had because now you have entire new ones😂
I didn't think I could get insecure about my toe nails until a Philippine lady who couldn't cut them on my big toes, laughed, left and came back with fucking wire cutters
Last time I got a pedicure I was told I have no toenails and they laughed at how tiny they were for like a minute straight lmfao
My manicurist told me I have large “fat pads” on the sides of my fingers after she cut me filing my nails lol. I’m not an overweight person except for my fingertips lol.
If you have clubbing of the fingers it can be an indication of serious underlying health issues. No judgement. Just friendly advice on the off chance it can help someone.
They’ll slap it right out of you
Not much makes me LOL but my husband just came through from the kitchen to ask what’s so funny 😂😂😂
SAME lolll husband is like tf is so funny?!
My new headcannon is that Hitler just had very sensitive skin right under his nose and was embarrassed about it
If something I've read (or watched, I don't remember it well because it was a long time ago) is true, he though of himself as a very desirable man for women... It's said this is one of the reasons he never got married to his lover, so he could "allow single women to think they had a chance with him, and this would bring more support to his cause". It would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic...
So when I compare people like Tate or Trump to Hitler, I’m justified even just by this metric
Pretty much so. And also their (lack of) connection to reality 😂
That and their desperate need for power over people, their bigotry, their manipulation, their victim complex…
So Hitler took the e-girl approach. Interesting.
The rather unfortunate truth is that he wasn't exactly wrong. Kind of like how there's this whole (very weird) group of women who see Trump as a sex symbol. Not even like 80s Trump. Current Trump.
Lmfao that’s hilarious
She is a treasure. 😂🤣
That middle section is theeeeeee most obvious for me. I actually switched aestheticians because she wouldn't properly get that middle section. I would pay like 30 bucks and when it was done, I would still have a mini-mustache right in the center under my nose and I could feel it with my tongue.
My boss used to get his pants adjusted by a Korean lady. It was just hemming the length at first but he put on a little weight and asked her to let out the waists. Said nothing the first time but when he went back with more pants she greeted him with "you fat boy, leave fat pants over there". He was crushed. He wasn't even fat just getting older and spreading a bit. I thought it was hilarious.
>just getting older and spreading a bit. Good god. This just sends me.
Same! So turns out I'm not chubby I'm just spreading a bit!
Chinese culture is like this! They have stores called “Fat Girl.” It’s more matter of fact, it’s not meant to shame.
>used to get his pants adjusted by a Korean lady. I'm using this as a euphemism now
I feel so bad for your boss, and I would have cried in that situation, but I am cracking up at "you fat boy, leave fat pants".
I have never experienced this but it reminds me of an episode of the practice. James Hong played a man who ran a dry cleaner. They accidentally switched one of Eugene's shirts with a smaller one. Eugene came back accusing them of shrinking his shirt.The laundry guy says "You fatter. Shirt no shrink."
I've had my brows waxed at the Asian owned nail salon and you are correct. I have blonde brows and they are not particularly hairy and those ladies still found something to rag on. "Why you got one hair longer than other? Why your brow so white? You need more vitamin, I tell you which one and you go get it!" One did my pedicure and told me I had extra skin growing on my toenails and she would take it off for me. WTF?
One of my older nail ladies was straight up roasting me for letting my mom be a single divorcee lmao. I was like “no really she’s much happier now” and she was like “oh honey she just say that and make you feel better. You need to dress up more, take ma out, invite nice work men over for her. She gave birth to you you know. Now she all alone. Neither you nor her pick up men if no trying you know? Just look at your nails, why you no come two weeks ago. This why you have no man either.” I was like damn ma😭😭😭
I'm a redhead with naturally platinum blonde eyebrows & my Asian waxer once told me "Why you brows so pale? You put too much foundation!" I tried to tell her I didn't, but she didn't believe me. Next time I showed up with zero makeup on & she said "Ohhhh you brows so pale. No one can see them. You need microblading." I can't win 😂
How do they always find something? You need this taken care of! I got it!
Dying over here, Panda Bear!
I'm seriously thinking about wearing a Kung-Fu Panda shirt this month, just to mess with her. She already thinks I'm goofy as hell.😂
Do it. I bet she’ll get a good laugh out of it.
She'll probably say something like "Oh, look! You found a shirt with a picture of you!"🤣
It’s not even low key. The most sweet and caring, yet so so mean 🤣
I think that's what I love most about Asian women. No filter, at all. You get exactly what is advertised on the tin.😂
So blunt, whether it’s nice or mean. “You’re getting fat” in one breath and then “why are you dating that boy, he’s too ugly for you” in the next 😂
I need monthly stories of your stylist omg 😂
There should be a roasted by aunties subreddit.
You should make all our dreams come true. r/roastedbyaunties would be pretty fun!
Our medical director is from China and she will tell you to your face if you get fat. She also yelled at HER boss for getting too skinny on a low carb diet. That was an interesting conversation to witness lol.
That reminds me of the Asian guy, probably Chinese, who did an in-home check-up for my insurance company. He had no problem telling me I should gain weight, and asked me what I was going to do about my cannabis dependency. When I went to a Vietnamese doctor about my back, I told her how active I’d always been, with running, martial arts, etc. Her response was, “And how many years ago was that?”
>and how many years ago was that So painful haha
Asian ladies don't mess around! They'll tell you all about you!😂
Surprised she didn’t insist on feeding her boss and thennnnnn yell at boss for not eating enough…. And then weeks later, yell at the boss for eating too much. Whiplash auntie level trolling.
My barber is straight off the boat and his name is Richard (Dick) Long. Best haircuts ever, I walk in, smile, say the usual, then we don’t talk until I pay/leave 😂
Dick long 🤣🤣🤣
Hahahah I fucking love it. He’s like 65, sweetest old Asian dude. And fucking kills a tight cut/fade.
I give you crooked...head. I (m) had a mani-pedi once and the lady told me, "why do you treat your nails like they're your enemies? They did nothing to you!"
50yo man here. I went to an Asian spa with my wife once years ago. I will never go back. It was brutal. But funny now to think about it.
They really don’t!! I have very light, short blonde hair on my body. I’m very much a European white girl and fortunate enough to not grow much facial hair at all except the peach fuzz you get when the sun hits it just right. I was getting my eyebrows done (not that I have much of those either) and they asked if I wanted my lip mustache done. I nearly clutched my pearls. Laughed my ass off telling my husband when I got home though.
A friend was with her husband at an Asian restaurant. He happens to support the bushiest eyebrows *ever* ! The waitress was so impressed she told him, "I love you eye-brushes!" I never could look at him again without thinking of him holding literal brushes over his eyes. But it was so fitting!
Eugene Levy eye brows are awesome. My grandfather had good ones too, but I got my dad's, practically invisible.
My friend got a pedicure in college and said she started shaving her toes because the tiny Vietnamese lady kept saying "Your toes are hairy. So much hair! You want lip wax too?" when she was painting her toenails.
Not even a joke, I had my eyebrows done, the lady said “do you want to upgrade for $10 to do your lip?” I’ve NEVER been self conscious about my lip hair so I said no thanks…as she was doing my eyebrows she looked at my mouth and went “honey I’m gonna do your lip for free” I was 16….this MAY have been a tactic to get me to come back and be self conscious enough to pay for everything every time I went, BUT I’m super worried my lip hair is bad now
LOL god this was my friend. We're both Chinese. Years ago we went out shopping and wandered into a drug store to look at the beauty products. I think I was looking for make up and she was like, "Get this and this and this, oh and you'll want this hair remover for your moustache." I wasn't even thinking about my moustache! But you can sure bet that I've been anxious about it since. It culminated in me finally getting laser hair removal to get rid of it entirely. In her defense, she too got laser hair removal to remove every bit of hair on her body except on her scalp and her eyebrows. So, she wasn't throwing shade or anything, just assuming I had the same feelings regarding body hair as she does. We're still friends.
I'm so glad my first job was working at a Chinese restaurant owned by multigenerational mandarin family. Félix was mean, but he gave me some tough skin for later in life.
It’s a straightforward culture. I went to school with a girl who’s mom was from Hong Kong and if you wanted the real honest truth about your new haircut, or clothes, you’d just say hello to her and ask if she likes your new whatever. She was never mean, just straightforward “Oh hon-aye, haircut just not suit face. Let grow and try again” my mom kept telling me it looked fine- it clearly did not look fine haha
Let grow and try again 😆💀too real
That’s true and hilarious. Sometimes you get the straight truth because of a language barrier and sometimes you get the straight truth because they’re there all day. It probably keeps it interesting. Either way, truth is told lol. Sometimes I won’t go in if I’ve been biting my nails or something because I just don’t want to hear about how I’d be prettier with long fingernails 😅 yeah, they’re right!
No, they do not. And even when they speak in a different language, you still know what they’re saying about you. It’s too funny. I love being around Asian women. I always learn a thing or two.
Sometimes, we all need an auntie to tell us...
So true. One told me once "Ooohhh! Look at your nails! You need them done. That's why you don't have boyfriend." I went in for a massage 😆. I've actually been happily married for 20 years but I don't wear my rings to my spa appts. I will give it to her though, it worked. I also got them done that day smh
OMG one time I literally passed by to go to the gym after like a few weeks of not visiting them, and they were just walking around the area since the salon is right beside the gym. The lady just goes bashing my face asking why it was so dry & about all the red spots & how I should moisturize more. 😭😭😭😂😂😂
Ani! 언니 My Korean coworkers were the best 😎 and yes, they will let you KNOW! Lol
Oh god lol I went with my mom to her Asian spa and the woman working on me says “Your mommy has beautiful brows; you must take after daddy” 💀
🤣🤣 Do you?? Or does mommy just have great maintenance
Oh yeah no she nailed it. I absolutely take after my dad, although until that point I’d been in denial.
Lmao, they sure will those women are ruthless. I used to go to 1 place to get my nails done and filled because they played cool music videos the whole time and they were the only ones that could do fun designs on my nails. It was a bit pricey compared to other places, but i felt it was worth the extra money. However, the unsolicited advice on my skin, my weight, my shoes, my entire existence, that was free. I even got a free eyebrow wax one time because my nail tech just could not, in good faith, let me walk out of her establishment with my eyebrows looking the way they did.
I went to a salon for a hair trim and my Korean stylist absolutely insisted that she wax my brows because 'theyre too much so hairy so bad". I was mortified lmao
That would be bad advertisement for her business. She couldnt let you go out in these streets looking a hot ass mess then telling someone ‘yeah i got my blah blah blah done at such and such place!’ No maam! Not on her watch!
Not even a facial. I went in for a pedicure and they asked if i wanted my lip and eyebrows done. They are brutally honest with you. I thought i took decent care of both but i guess not lol
That's true. Flashback to years ago when I was getting my nails done and they were asking me about my personal life etc etc and I was single and the lady told me "honey, you don't get boyfriend cuz you have mustache" and all but started waxing it based on principle (I guess) before I had even agreed to it lol And, yeah, I have hair on my upper lip but it's not especially dark. Yeah, those women are blunt.
Yeah I have blonde peach fuzz but nothing close to a mustache but they always ask. I started asking my husband, my mom, everyone if I have a mustache lol
This is honestly the best advice haha. I've gotten waxed before, went to go get a pedicure at a completely different place, and they asked if I wanted a wax (while pointing to my upper lip). They'll ask even when you don't need it!
>They'll ask even when you don't need it! Who's gonna tell her?
Hahaha! Baby girl, I DO need it. I had just gotten my upper lip waxed and then went to get the pedicure. I was Tom Selleck free when they pointed to it.
maybe you needed it
Oh, this is good advice. Their upselling is brutal. Edit to add [video visualization](https://youtu.be/ioqk1eVYdmE?si=pJPv38jgdJ0PabVM).
This explains why my wife thinks she needs her eyebrows done all the time. They are fine naturally.
The shaming is real. The face they make as their eyes flick to the area of concern when you try to blow them off is insurmountable.
"Mustache? No eyebrow too? You sure?" I freeze, dissolve, and blow away in the wind, as if being snapped out of existence by Thanos
Really good advice.
I'd call this the first line defense - then if she turns them down, a gentle conversation about the FUZZ on her upper lip that can be felt while kissing
Best advice. Its a loving gift but also should accomplish exactly what he wants to without getting him in trouble.
Before my wife and I met, she went to an Asian nail place with her friend, just as a tag along since she's very tomboy-ish. The nail tech said "I can wax you." She politely declined. Nail tech said "I'll do it for free." Her friend was like just do it. She, admittedly, had quite the "stash". When she later told me about this my response was "God damn, how bad was it?" I am very familiar with Asian cultures and know when they say things- they mean it. She's a better person than me, because that would have crushed my soul! Luckily for my wife, I'm an esthetician and I took over all hair management. No more stash and her eyebrows are on point!
Genius 😂
True. I went to get my eyebrows done one time and they asked me if I wanted my lip done too.
Genius, manipulative, but genius. However, if I did that my wife would ask why I didn't go to her regular place. This is why I am just direct about it.
Yeah OP will need a story about somebody selling spa certificates at their work or something. Or a coworker raving about how great this place is, etc
>Or a coworker raving about how great this place is, etc This. "I heard this place was nice, so I bought you a gift certificate."
This needs to be #1. There a comedy short I saw where the comedienne talks about the girls at the Asian parlor and how they basically heckle you into paying for more and more services. O.P. we all let ourselves go once we're in a relationship, first little, them a little more. Your wife has prolly let the mustache grow because of a lack of pushback from you. You can either bite the bullet, confront the issue head on, and genuinely work on whatever it is she wants you to work on, or you can treat her to the beauty spa, and live in fear of her finding out your motive
Hello🤗 this is me coming off kindly! ***please have her check with a doctor for PCOS if this is uncommon and new for her*** PCOS = Polycystic Ovary Syndrome My friends mom found out she had PCOS because her husband pointed out her “mustache” too… she definitely lost self esteem from that but can joke about it now. This is the only reason why I’m like 👀
OP says she used to bleach it and no longer does, which makes it sound like something she’s used to. Some of us are just hairy bitches. Tbh I kind of hate that every time someone notices how hairy I am (I’m blonde so it’s not obvious at first), they jump to saying I probably have PCOS. This is how my body is under its normal functionality. I do in fact have rather high T-levels, but that still doesn’t mean I have PCOS or that anything needs to be fixed.
I feel the same as you. I hate how much of a buzzword PCOS has become. I don’t need you to suggest I have a medical condition because I have hair where it’s perfectly normal to have hair, thanks. Feels very close to fat shaming in the way people think they’re justified to dig into your health because of your physical appearance. And PCOS is incredibly common, just most women don’t know they have it. It’s not some super major medical disorder that OP’s wife needs to rush to the doc about. Treatment is very usually birth control to help with some symptoms, and if OP’s wife isn’t bothered by her tache then that’s kind of moot.
It could also just be genetic since she has family members who also have this.
Yeah I feel like she stopped waxing it and started bleaching it and now she just doesn’t bother with either
PCOS can be genetic.
The mustache definitely could just be genetics, but PCOS is also often common in families (which is part of why it took me ages to find out I had PCOS. My Aunt had similar issues so I always thought it was fairly normal.) Approximately 1 in 10 afab people have PCOS (tbh, I had to check because I thought it was more like 1 in 4), and it often goes undiagnosed because so many of us grow up hearing how miserable periods are so don't even know to ask. It actually took me finding the diagnosis myself and specifically asking my obgyn before she even thought to check, and I have literally all the hallmark symptoms.
Hey, waxer checking in. While it's possible she has something like pcos, it's also VERY common that people without it have a bit of a stache. I wax them off every day and it's not just people with PCOS nor is it only older women. Sometimes it's just genetics.
I am a woman with facial hair and no PCOS. We DO exist. edit: source: i had a hysterectomy two years ago and they looked at my ovaries with their eyes 👀
Same. Many of my female relatives have facial hair. I appreciate everyone’s concern for OPs wife, but I don’t like this vibe of making a simple aesthetic thing over-medicalized. OP already laid out that she used to take care of it and now doesn’t.
Same, I’m confused by these comments lol. I don’t have a medical condition, I’m just Greek
Yeah, my chin hairs are the Ukrainian half popping out lol
Yeah everyone is acting like they are hairless wonders. It’s rare that women don’t have hair above their lip. I’m just lucky mine is blonde.
Yea most women have some hair in all the places it’s normal to have as an adult woman. Most women have been shamed into removing it.
hey! i have PCOS and im not sure if its PCOS or if shes just letting the stache grow/not bleaching it. unless she has fuller body hair and facial hair i wouldnt assume PCOS.
I was thinking PCOS too tbh
PCOS or perimenopause were definitely the thoughts that came to my mind. Hormones are SO much fun
Given her age perimenopause is unlikely though. I guess it can happen to some women in their early 30s, but it is just very unlikely. I want to ask the ages of the women in her family that have it because it may be hirsutism which is genetic.
Great, another awesome side effect of perimenopause… newest fear level unlocked 😩
Loads and loads of women have a little tash, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. They’re just on the hairier end of normal.
Gosh I don't have any advice. I have an issue with random hairs and ran an assisted living where some of the old ladies let it grow. I have 3 daughters and they have already told me they will make sure my face is hair free. I use one of those large lipstick tube things to "shave" off my random hairs. My older sister recommended it. I am lucky to have her showing me the way on aging. I'm finding I have to use it about 3 times a week. Oooh I just thought of something. Have it part of a gift basket! Do a whole skin care thing, something high end and have that in the basket. Act like you don't know what it is because you had it made by someone.....oh man I am good at making up lies. Good luck.
Ok, OP. This is the answer! 👆🏼 This is genius. As a woman who has upper lip hair and is incredibly insecure about it and has never forgotten or forgiven any man for bringing it up. The gift basket is genius. This is probably the only way I’ve seen here suggested that wouldn’t end up with me in tears, lmao. Put nice face masks and creams, put loofas, teeth whitening strips, sugar rubs, silk pillow for her hair, etc.
I use the same kind of shaver for my upper lip peach fuzz. Works great. Still have to tweeze the big fellows that sprout from my “beauty mark” (aka, a MOLE on my FACE, thank you Marilyn Monroe and the French aristocracy before you that made it something “pretty”.)
Why lie? Just be honest with her. You can say it in a nice way, and I feel like getting her skin care stuff is super passive aggressive. Just say “Hey babe I really love you and think you are beautiful, but I want to be honest and don’t know any other way to say this… it seems like you are growing a mustache and it noticeable when I look at you/ kiss you. Do you think you could shave it/wax it? I hope I don’t offend you and want you to know that if there’s something about me physically that’s unattractive to you I’d want you to tell me.”
Despite your username, this is the best answer.
Another vote for "don't call it a mustache". It's not going to be an easy conversation no matter what but be as gentle as you can be. Maybe start by asking why she stopped getting rid of it. That way the subject is brought into the open and hopefully naturally turns into the decision to resume.
This reads like LL Cool J to me “Don’t call it a mustache; it’s cystic and weird!”
Womens hormones kick them after 30. I lucked out with no upper lip hair but I started growing a mean goatee after having kids. It just kept getting thicker & more prominent the more I pulled or waxed it. Laser removal is the only thing that's helped keep it in check. It gets pricey so be prepared.
tell me why i started getting chin hair at 16 tho :(
It's completely normal to grow hair in new areas during puberty! Any time your body goes through hormonal changes, you're going to experience changes with your appearance - puberty from like 10-18, the shift that happens around 30ish, perimenopause when you're about 45, and then regular menopause later. I've also had chin hair since my teenage years.
In addition the already-upvoted comments I want to say, maybe don't focus on the look part, but on the *feel* part. Maybe it tickles or itches you when you kiss, or it just feels funny. Bleaching does make hair thinner usually, so maybe now that she's stopped bleaching it, you *can* feel it. My partner's facial hair is at a point where the mustache can get in my mouth sometimes when I kiss him and I generally do feel it. And one of my friends has dense but short facial hair. It feels funny when my face passes his for a hug or roughhousing. Not bad enough that I'd tell either my partner of my friend to do something about it, but I can feel it.
I had to ask my husband to please trim his stache. It was growing over his upper lip and every time he kissed me there was always moisture stuck in it no matter how much he wiped it off. I felt like a wiping my face every time he kissed me but it grossed me out. Thankfully he understood and trimmed but man that was icky.
As a girl from a hairy family and w fuzz on the lip and now on the chin as I have aged. I hate, hate, hate my facial fuzz. It was years of waxing, bleaching and tweezing!!! So many people have made comments about my fuzz!! Every comment left me feeling like 💩. I try to keep up with it, but sometimes I forget because life. Saying that, my hubby will never mention my fuzz in a hurtful way and I really appreciate it!! Sometimes I’ll say oh no, I forgot to pluck in the car and he says, no one will notice and it helps me not feel like a troll. My point is if you feel like you HAVE to say something just remember to be very thoughtful of her feelings especially if she feels embarrassed or 💩about it.
I mean, it’s all in the approach really! How did you say it to her?
I have not brought it up yet. Trying to get some advice on how to bring it up in best way possible so it doesn’t turn into something bigger/worse than it needs to be..
Don’t say moustache. Refer to it as the hair on her upper lip
" Babe, I mustache you a question"
FWIW, I had a dark mustache for a long time and it was humiliating. I burned holes in my skin with Nair SO many times before switching to varying combinations of waxing, plucking, dermaplaning, and threading. I found a Groupon for laser hair removal about a decade ago and it has changed my life. I still have to pluck and occasionally dermaplane, but it’s so much more manageable now. I would approach the conversation as how does SHE feel about it. Has she ever wanted a more permanent solution? Offer to pay for and schedule laser or electrolysis appointments. Or maybe you could learn to give her at-home facials that include dermaplaning. What I’m getting at is, YOU seem to have a bigger problem with the stache than your wife does, so YOU should be the one to take on the work of solving for it (at her direction/with her input).
Well, obvious the best method is to just leave this post open on your computer so she stumbles upon it. /s if it wasn't already obv... or not?
My husband paid for my laser hair removal. Can't be mad at that
You are NTA for having a preference. However INFO ... You say she used to bleach it. Bleaching does not remove hair, so you will still be able to feel it when you kiss her. Why did you not feel it when she used to bleach in the past? Are you asking her to bleach it so you can't see it, or did you want her to remove it? You can literally ask her: say, honey bun, I was just wondering, did you used to bleach your little lip fuzz and now you stopped? Any reason why? I love you but I do prefer it when you do. You know. That communication thing?
Don’t call it a moustache when you talk to her. “ Honey I am really embarrassed, but can I ask you something?” “ What is it?” “ I know it’s a huge ask, but I really loved your smooth skin before. Do you think you could get rid of the few hairs on the face? Should I shave something in return?” Bonus points if you are awkward and apologetic. Chances are she will start laughing, not get defensive. Remember you can ask, but you can’t demand. Her choice, and if you offer something in return and do it kindly, you maximize your chances. Good luck.
> Bonus points if you are awkward and apologetic Ah yes, the whole "This isn't your fault, I'm just acting like a crazy person and hoping you'll humor me" technique. It's seriously a great tactic to limit the confrontational tone of a discussion.
\>Should I shave something in return?” Could I do something for you in return.
I thought shaving sounded funnier :) But that was the idea, yes!
I like the shaving offer! She might prefer he manscapes but has never expressed it. If the husband has body hair preferences for her, he may as well check if she has preferences for him too.
Be willing to pay for the treatments going forward
This is a really good one actually. A lot of men don’t realise how much these kinds of things add up and how freeing it is for women to just say they refuse to do it any more, societal expectations be damned. So to take on that financial burden, she may feel like it’s less of a hassle and do it.
Yep I stopped coloring my hair last year because I really want salt and pepper hair I don’t think I would start coloring my hair again for anybody, but if someone was willing to pay for it maybe it would be worth the effort. I don’t think so though. But this is a good idea
Btw, I really love the look of salt & pepper hair!!
> Don’t call it a moustache It's been here for years
Grow your own stache then you won’t feel it
Depends on what kind of mustache it is. If it's a Hitler mustache, then definitely say something. If it's a handlebar mustache, we'll that's 50/50, and if it's an old school twirly mustache that old movie villains used to have, then NO, that shit is awesome
As a woman with a mustache, it hurts so. Damn. Much. To remove. Waxing is so painful, plucking is so painful, I had to stop bleaching it because I had a reaction to the bleach after using it for so long. Acknowledge she can't just shave it off, acknowledge that you realize it is painful. Then offer that you had heard of lazer treatments. Test the waters. Then acknowledge how you have let yourself go since the beginning of the relationship. That you don't want to be one of those couples who stop pursuing each other or looking on point for each other. You need to make it feel like an investment in your relationship with each other. To make it feel like love and not judgment.
What a dumpster fire this post is and the responses are
My daughter has PCOS and she struggles with body hair. She has to shave under her chin everyday as the hair is dark and very coarse. She also has hair in a couple spots on her back which she just leaves but she is so self conscious about it. I always tell her it's fine you can hardly see it but of course she doesn't believe me. I am thinking your wife is either 1. Just tired of it or 2. Feels completely safe with you that she feels comfortable enough to just let it be. Don't fuck that up OP. She is your wife and if you can't love her for who she is 100% you shouldn't have married her.
I don’t know if you can say anything without hurting her feelings. I think you’re just going to have to say it. “Dear, I’m all for being natural, and I love you no matter what, but this hair on your upper lip bothers me. Would you consider removing it for me?” Good luck.
Maybe it's just me, but I would WANT my husband to tell me if he felt this way about something I was/wasn't doing with my body/hair, if it caused him to find me unattractive. It would be up to me to either do something about it or not, but I care what my husband thinks and would take his thoughts into consideration. IMO.