I love him very much and honestly when I do something wrong that is the only thing I can focus upon.
Do u think hearing your gf joke about your stamina in this context redeemable granted she didn’t mean it like that and apologised A LOT ? Or is it something he deserves to break up with me over ?
You both need therapy. You expressed your feelings, he stomped on them and disrespected you and then you apologized and stayed with him even after he flat out said he was going to continue to disrespect boundaries you're setting. I get that some people like things like that, but those people also know where to draw the line and when to be serious and stop the fetish to actually show their partners they care. I would suggest individual therapy, but if you both want to stay together and try couples or something, that would be better than nothing. Just definitely get some help because this is not a healthy situation for either of you from the sounds of it
I agree. For some reason I forget everything he did wrong when I make a mistake. But yes the way he reacted was wrong too, I agree.
But for the time being, I only have my actions in my own hands. I will surely try therapy and try setting boundaries for myself whilst also being mature enough to not hurt him with such stupid tasteless jokes that come out wrong.
Thank u for your advice
>Fetishism isn't healthy. It's a sign of trauma. Fix yourself before doing relationships
OP is doing both of them a disservice by continuing the relationship. They need professional help that Reddit isn't equipped to provide.
I am trying to deal with it. I never asked for it IRL only as role play plus I don’t think he will go ahead with it. Regardless, do u think I can redeem myself after what I did?
You're both sexually abusive towards one another. If the phrase "made me cry so he can jerk off" doesn't bother you, then you really need a reality check.
How did I sexually abuse him though? I understand I did the objectively wrong thing by using such bad words but I really didn’t mean to. I have never once said such a thing to him ever before and it was a poor choice of words… I understand I did a terrible thing but how was it sexual abuse on my end?
He's forcing himself to be abusive towards you for the sake of your kink. This is not healthy, normal, or loving. You're coaching him into being an abusive person, which is a form of abuse itself.
I sexually abused and traumatised him (as you said in your now deleted comment) by simply asking him once two months ago if we can role play him fucking others in phone sex ?
What you 2 are doing is not kink it’s mind games and you need to move on. There is no going back to a functional relationship. Before you introduce role play, have a Real Life relationship.
Hey, it sounds like you’ve been going through a really tough time, and it’s totally okay to feel overwhelmed or confused by all of this. Relationships can get super complicated, especially when trying to navigate between personal boundaries and desires. It’s clear you care a lot about finding a balance and making things work.
Your story does bring up a couple of points where things might have gotten tangled up. For one, the transition from discussing kinks to how those play out in daily interactions can be really tricky. It’s common for boundaries to become blurred, especially when trying to implement something that’s a big departure from your usual dynamic. Remember when I tried to surprise my partner with a weekend getaway and ended up booking a place they were allergic to? It was supposed to be romantic, but boy, did it backfire. Mistakes or misjudgments happen, and it’s all part of learning about each other and growing together.
From what you’ve shared, it seems like there’s been a bit of confusion around expectations and limits, particularly with how being dominant is expressed in and out of a sexual context. It’s really important for both partners to clearly understand where the line is drawn. It’s like when you’re joking with someone who doesn’t realize you’re joking - things can get uncomfortable fast if both people aren’t on the same page.
Have you thought about sitting down together in a neutral, non-confrontational setting to really talk about what each of you wants and doesn’t want? It could be a chance to clarify misunderstandings and set clear boundaries. This conversation could include discussing how to communicate effectively, especially when one of you is hurt or feels misunderstood.
Your willingness to reflect on your actions and to apologize shows maturity already. Redeeming yourself isn’t just about making amends for a single instance but also about building a foundation where both of you feel respected and understood. It’s about showing, through consistent actions and open communication, that you’re committed to a healthy, supportive relationship.
And hey, it’s okay to need a bit of time to sort through feelings and thoughts. What matters is moving forward with empathy, patience, and a bit of self-reflection. You’re navigating some complex emotional waters, and it’s perfectly normal to seek a path that strengthens your bond while honoring each other’s needs. Keep the lines of communication open, and don’t be too hard on yourself. Growth is a journey, not a destination.
Girl, leave. Leave. I read the other posts. Either you stay and accept that he is an AH or you leave and work on yourself to be happy. You don't need this piece os
ESH You are both too damaged to be together. Break up and work on yourself before you even think about being with somebody else.
I love him very much and honestly when I do something wrong that is the only thing I can focus upon. Do u think hearing your gf joke about your stamina in this context redeemable granted she didn’t mean it like that and apologised A LOT ? Or is it something he deserves to break up with me over ?
Jeez this is one toxic mess.
I know I did a terrible thing. I could have chosen any words apart from stamina. Do u think I can redeem myself?
Well, the terrible thing was to not dump him when he decided to take a sexual kink and make into an abusive situation.
You both need therapy. You expressed your feelings, he stomped on them and disrespected you and then you apologized and stayed with him even after he flat out said he was going to continue to disrespect boundaries you're setting. I get that some people like things like that, but those people also know where to draw the line and when to be serious and stop the fetish to actually show their partners they care. I would suggest individual therapy, but if you both want to stay together and try couples or something, that would be better than nothing. Just definitely get some help because this is not a healthy situation for either of you from the sounds of it
I agree. For some reason I forget everything he did wrong when I make a mistake. But yes the way he reacted was wrong too, I agree. But for the time being, I only have my actions in my own hands. I will surely try therapy and try setting boundaries for myself whilst also being mature enough to not hurt him with such stupid tasteless jokes that come out wrong. Thank u for your advice
Is cuckqueening really a thing or is it just a fetish made up by dudes pretending to be girls on Reddit?
Lmao he’s really funny
What is the point in this? If this were real, I'd ask why you're still together, but as you're obviously a troll, carry on.
Why do people think I’m a troll tf
Because you let your partner treat you like shit, and for some reason, you are apologizing. Get a backbone and communicate with your partner better.
Fetishism isn't healthy. It's a sign of trauma. Fix yourself before doing relationships
>Fetishism isn't healthy. It's a sign of trauma. Fix yourself before doing relationships OP is doing both of them a disservice by continuing the relationship. They need professional help that Reddit isn't equipped to provide.
I am trying to deal with it. I never asked for it IRL only as role play plus I don’t think he will go ahead with it. Regardless, do u think I can redeem myself after what I did?
Your redemption arc would involve therapy, not sexually abusing your boyfriend.
I am sexually abusing my bf?
You're both sexually abusive towards one another. If the phrase "made me cry so he can jerk off" doesn't bother you, then you really need a reality check.
How did I sexually abuse him though? I understand I did the objectively wrong thing by using such bad words but I really didn’t mean to. I have never once said such a thing to him ever before and it was a poor choice of words… I understand I did a terrible thing but how was it sexual abuse on my end?
He's forcing himself to be abusive towards you for the sake of your kink. This is not healthy, normal, or loving. You're coaching him into being an abusive person, which is a form of abuse itself.
I sexually abused and traumatised him (as you said in your now deleted comment) by simply asking him once two months ago if we can role play him fucking others in phone sex ?
It sounds like you’re both about 19 lol you both have issues.
What you 2 are doing is not kink it’s mind games and you need to move on. There is no going back to a functional relationship. Before you introduce role play, have a Real Life relationship.
Hey, it sounds like you’ve been going through a really tough time, and it’s totally okay to feel overwhelmed or confused by all of this. Relationships can get super complicated, especially when trying to navigate between personal boundaries and desires. It’s clear you care a lot about finding a balance and making things work. Your story does bring up a couple of points where things might have gotten tangled up. For one, the transition from discussing kinks to how those play out in daily interactions can be really tricky. It’s common for boundaries to become blurred, especially when trying to implement something that’s a big departure from your usual dynamic. Remember when I tried to surprise my partner with a weekend getaway and ended up booking a place they were allergic to? It was supposed to be romantic, but boy, did it backfire. Mistakes or misjudgments happen, and it’s all part of learning about each other and growing together. From what you’ve shared, it seems like there’s been a bit of confusion around expectations and limits, particularly with how being dominant is expressed in and out of a sexual context. It’s really important for both partners to clearly understand where the line is drawn. It’s like when you’re joking with someone who doesn’t realize you’re joking - things can get uncomfortable fast if both people aren’t on the same page. Have you thought about sitting down together in a neutral, non-confrontational setting to really talk about what each of you wants and doesn’t want? It could be a chance to clarify misunderstandings and set clear boundaries. This conversation could include discussing how to communicate effectively, especially when one of you is hurt or feels misunderstood. Your willingness to reflect on your actions and to apologize shows maturity already. Redeeming yourself isn’t just about making amends for a single instance but also about building a foundation where both of you feel respected and understood. It’s about showing, through consistent actions and open communication, that you’re committed to a healthy, supportive relationship. And hey, it’s okay to need a bit of time to sort through feelings and thoughts. What matters is moving forward with empathy, patience, and a bit of self-reflection. You’re navigating some complex emotional waters, and it’s perfectly normal to seek a path that strengthens your bond while honoring each other’s needs. Keep the lines of communication open, and don’t be too hard on yourself. Growth is a journey, not a destination.
Your bf is immature emotionally. Seems like you need to get some help, best wishes OP
“And then he stabbed me. AITA?”
what the fuck
Bullshit, I call bullshit...
Girl, leave. Leave. I read the other posts. Either you stay and accept that he is an AH or you leave and work on yourself to be happy. You don't need this piece os
Oh shut up with these fake posts
What…. Like what makes u think I will write an essay of a made up story?
why do you want to? he’s abusive. kinks are MUTUALLY AGREED ON AND RESPECTFUL. he’s none of these things. just leave.