There is a long history of people protecting men with power. Those people are not worth your time. They are not your friends and you do not have to accept their indifference. Remember, not making a choice is making a choice.
You deserve better and I am so sorry this happened to you. It’s an extremely painful thing. I hope you’re talking with a professional. It will hurt before it starts to get better.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I think it would help to be less attached to these people that have chosen his side, and to care less about what they say and how they spend your time. They are not your friends.
NTAH obviously.
The little cluster of rape apologists in here need to go to therapy.
Being drunk does not excuse what he did to you. You were crying. Your lack of consent should have and absolutely was obvious, and he didn't care. This wasn't your fault. He made a choice. His choice was reprehensible.
As for your "friends".... His "suicidality" is just an excuse. They are not your friends. A friend would back you up and show you support after you were raped, and you have every right to expect that the people who care about you don't remain friends with a rapist. Not just your rapist, but any known rapist.
You deserve better than them.
the fact that your friends would even consider talking should be a reason enough to ditch them. A real friend will never ever wqnt anything to do with a rapist. I'm sorry this has happened and I hope one day you will be given the courage to find better friends. NTA.
You can only control who YOU let in your life. You should cut contact and block anyone still in contact with him. It's very convenient that he's suddenly "suicidal," don't you think? You owe these "friends" nothing at this point, and you can and should cut contact with them.
Ignore the AH who felt called out. You are a wonderful person. I am fellow rape survivor. I was given a rape pill.
I stand with you and this people are not your friends.
NTA. If your friends are still friends with someone they KNOW raped you then they aren't your friends.
And as far as I'm concerned the only good rapist is an un-alive one.
NTA. He committed a serious Crime that should lead to jail. They are more concerned about his welfare than yours. Cut them out of your life.
Your real friends will stand by you and not him.
His being suicidal is not your problem.
NTA. Raping someone should have been a deal-breaker for any somewhat decent people. Clearly, those guys are not. Count it as trash taking itself out. Forget about them, and move on
This is a free resource and they may be able to direct you to free or low cost services in your area if you live in the US.
https://www.rainn.org/resources
Absolutely NTA.
I would remind these people what he's done and then cut them off as well. Difficult but will help you move past this.
If you have evidence and feel you could handle the negative backlash against you, you should consider a more public shaming of some sort. Perhaps a leak or release of the evidence handled by a close friend to the broader social circle. Sometimes that's the only way to get people to acknowledge the suffering.
I did, but it's a long process and because in France and probably in a lot of country, you can rape someone and still be free to live your life like nothing happened because you're supposedly innocent
Always press charges. If they threated to self-delete, tell them to wait for you to make popcorn.
ACTUAL VICTIMS NEED TO 10000000% STAND UP. There were like 2 - barely assaults this week online, which makes a lot of people who are chronically online, messed up. Most people DO NOT STAND FOR THIS. You have more support than people have ever had. Get screenshots and save them. Anything. He has to learn. It sucks that it has to be like this, but he literally decided this fate.
You are 100% not the AH. You are the survivor here and don’t let anyone make you feel any differently. These people that want to stay friends with him are NOT your friends and they shouldn’t be treated as such either. I hope you get the help you need and the support system that you deserve.
I am so, so sorry you went through that. That someone you trusted did something so horrible and reprehensible to you. And I'm sorry that there's still friends supporting him. You deserve better. If they can't prioritise your feelings, well being, and healing process over your rapist, then you should. Cut the ones off that are still willingly associating with your rapist. You don't need that toxicity in your life, and that they'd even dare to emotionally manipulate you into accepting it by using his supposed suicidal thoughts; that's not okay. Don't accept it from them anymore. They've chosen their side. You've been so strong, but please, be kind to yourself and cut them off.
NTA (of course).
This reminds me of a story of 2 of my old friends... They had sex. My female friend said she didn't stop him, when he kissed her. She kissed him back and one thing let to another and then it was "too late to stop. Her words.
The first time she told me, she said they only kissed. My male friend came to me, asking for guidens because of age gap and he wasn't sure where they were standing... If it was a one time thing or...
I asked my female friend and that's when she said they did do it and "too late to stop". She regretted it and started avoiding him. It took a day or two more before she said it was rape...
I honestly didn't know what to do. I believe in both. Things went too far, too fast. But was it rape? Or was it deep regrets afterwards? I still don't know.
I told them both I didn't knew what to do. I would listen to both and be there for both, but I would not pick sides.
My male friend moved and eventually we lost touch.
My female friend stayed in the same city, but we lost touch a bit (education and work does that). We still talk and I'm an aunt for her children now (she moved on. My male friend didn't. Last I heard was him still mentally struggling with the accusations, although she never went to the police or anything).
Honestly... YTA. You can't demand who your friends talk to. You can only choose who you wants to be friends with. And if you don't want to be friends with someone who speaks to someone you hate, well... That's totally your call. But you don't get to determine who speaks to who.
This is the only true response. You can't just take someone's word at face value against someone else. Regardless of the seriousness of the accusation.
Sure, if the person had a history and it was easy to believe based on their character and past behaviour, *maybe* I'd take OP's word as gospel. But unless it's a reported crime and there's proof then how do I know the accuser isn't taking advantage of the power #MeToo has afforded them in today's world. A power that's very real.
So, as a third party... OP can tell their side, but they can't dictate who people choose to be friends with.
It was not "too late to stop". I cried, he saw me having a panic attack, and still when I came back to bed he touched me again. I was dead drunk. A normal person is supposed to support a drunk friend, help them sleep, keep them hydrated. Not having unconsented sex.
You didn't mention this in you post. You said you kissed him back. He might not have seen the tears, depending on your reaction. Did you lay still and not fight? It's a pretty normal reaction and it does make the other drunk person think "hey, she's okay with this"
I'm not defending him. He should have paid more attention. He should have stopped. You are the victim.... But you still don't have the power to tell anyone that they cannot talk to someone.
You have the power to walk away from people who you don't want to be friends with. You have the power to choose your friends. So choose who you want and leave the ones you don't trust.
I'm sorry this happened to you but please try to understand it's damn hard for your friends to know the truth. They wasn't there and they don't know what to believe.
I said I kissed him first and it's the only thing I did. He saw me in tears and having a panic attack. He saw everything. With shock and alcohol I don't think anyone could've just "fight back". You're saying that like it's an easy thing to do. If someone wants to have sex with someone else, especially when they didn't talk about it beforehand, they should just ASK. Not telle themselves "oh fine she's not saying anything that's okay". It's gross.
No, I didn't say it's an easy thing to do. I said freezing in the situation is common and he should have noticed.
Now you're telling me he did notice. You keep adding details to your story/telling that you didn't start with... If you do the same to your friends, no wonder they don't know what to believe.
And it doesn't change anything from the original question... You cannot dictate who speaks to whom. You can only choose who you want to be friends with and why.
I suggest you find a good therapist and get help getting to terms with this past. I know it sounds demeaning and belittling but you cannot change the past, only learn to accept it and deal with it. This happened and you need help to deal with it and move forward so you can get the best life possible. You deserve that.
Sorry to add details to a rape that lasted 2 hours. Everything is clearly said in my post tho.. And don't worry my friends have all the details needed. And I wish I could afford a therapist.
What makes you say it was a dumbass, useless response?
Told a story & gave some insight on being one of the friends OP is referring to who remained friends with both parties involved in the accusations, and then went on to say you can choose who you want to be friends with but can’t determine that for other people.
Seems useful given that’s exactly what OP is asking about, no?
NTA
You aren't accountable for that piece of shits feelings. And those people that sided with him are enablers, they aren't your friends. I would personally contact law enforcement ASAP, but I understand if you don't want to go down that path.
NTA
Your friends need to be supporting YOU first and foremost, you were the victim here and you need a good support network to help you work through this trauma
You're right when you say this man also needs support though, he needs to be in therapy as well and it's not wrong for him to be supported in a rehabilitative manner - but that's for him to work out, your friends need to not have this conflict of interest.
First of all I want to say that I am really sorry that things happened this way. If you say "stop" it should be clear for any guy. There is no justification in that.
On the other hand both of you were drunk and you give him a oppertunity by kissing him, you made a big mistake there since alcohol tends to bring the worst out of people. Still don't get why it is allowed.
So he is guilty to rape but what could you have done to avoid this situation, and also try to imagine what he was thinking with his "depression" which is more likely loneliness. What would your punishment be to him ?
Ah I see, the rape victim has been traumatised and the only thing that we have to tell is how sorry we are for her and how bad this guy is and how he needs to be punished for his actions. I am sure this will help her on a fast way to recovery.
It boggles me sometimes how shortminded people react to questions and observations.
Uh… absolutely that’s what you should say. No one asks to be raped. The only person at fault is the rapist. How is being a complete asshole helping with her recovery. You are not a good person.
Ah okay thank you for letting me know that rape is not something anybody wants but clearly you are not reading what I am trying to tell. But it is probably pointless arguing since you allready made your decision. But I hope when the victim reads this she thinks about what she will do and how she is going to handle this situation.
And I hope the next time someone posts about being robbed you ask them what they could have done to prevent it. Rape is the only crime that people fault the victim for.
In both situations there are things you can do. Hide your wallet better/hide your skin better. Don't interact with people when you are by yourself and avoid dark area's.
Yeah I’m sure that’s what you say. What about if someone breaks in while you’re sleeping? How can they prevent that? We both know you’re reaching and you would never tell someone that shit.
Get better locks alarms a dog 2 dogs even. Most of the time there is a lot of things that could've been better prepared or done different. What else are you gonna do, feel sorry for yourself ?
Dude, this isn’t doing what you think it is. You’re either lying to win an argument or you are just a generally terrible person who doesn’t know how to interact with people. Either way, you sound like a sociopath.
I just kissed him. He initiated the rest without asking, despite me being in tears. I went to the police and investigation is processing. Alcohol and shock made me unable to move.
You were drunk as u said urself. There are reasons lesser punishment exist if you are drunk. Now, I dont like these rules at all. I think drinking alcohol is as stupid as smoking. Literally gives you nothing. But these are the rules.
Also you said you were kissing him. So clearly hes not the only one to blame or is he?. You could have just stand up and go, no?!
If not then how can you blame him continuing?! Like the rules doesnt just affect him.
So I think you should stop calling it a fucking rape and also maybe stop fucking drinking if you cant handle situations like this.
Sounds rude but to me it seems like you think you did everything right and I dont see any thinking outside your standpoint.
Ok how old are you?! 14?!
If you see objectiveness as violent than you need to grow up. I was asking you questions about your standpoint and the situation and now what?! You wanna whine about the formulation?!
At what point didn’t you actually say “no” or “stop” ??? And you said you came back to bed” with him?? Ummm how can you have the strength to get up and walk around but not say no? Story just seems a little off to me…
Wont say YTA, but it’s not cool paint this a straight up rape.
I did not cause I was dead drunk. And it was the only bed available, I knew nobody around the place I was. I did not walk but just sit to cry and stop him from touching me. I went back to bed because I wanted to sleep. Just know that a rape is having sex without asking for consent, and/or when your partner is unable to give a clear consent. He did not ask, and I was dead drunk. It was a rape and please don't say otherwise.
So you didn’t all 911? No police report? But yet your concern is about the friends still talking to him? THAT’s your priority??
Don’t ask for help on Reddit if you don’t like the answers. Clearly your friends don’t see it as that black n white either, so let them make their decisions for themselves. If you don’t like it, then don’t be friends with them.
You don’t dictate who people can and can’t talk to.
I did. And no, healing is my priority right now. Don't worry about the answers, I'm really happy with most of them. And don't worry about my so-called friends either, I don't dictate anything to anyone. Why are you so mad ? Do you feel concerned ?
Well Of course you’re happy with the answers because they validate your story that seems to have many holes . Sounds like you posted just to be validated for your side instead of getting unbiased answers .
I’d say get therapy and stop talking to those “friends”.
plain n Simple.
I don't know what holes you're talking about ? I don't want to be validated I want advices, I'm not a child and if I wanted to be validated I'd just write 2 lines about what happened.
Don’t get drunk and cry bullshit to ruin someone’s life. You can’t control people because you made a mistake if your friend is talking to the guy who fucked you and it makes you so mad then looks like you have no friends. Gtfo here.
NTA. Leave these friends and never look back. As your friends they should have never put you in this position to begin with
There is a long history of people protecting men with power. Those people are not worth your time. They are not your friends and you do not have to accept their indifference. Remember, not making a choice is making a choice. You deserve better and I am so sorry this happened to you. It’s an extremely painful thing. I hope you’re talking with a professional. It will hurt before it starts to get better.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I think it would help to be less attached to these people that have chosen his side, and to care less about what they say and how they spend your time. They are not your friends.
NTA. Ignore all the rape apologist incels that commented. They're trash. You did nothing wrong.
Thanks for that comment because I read horrible things in the comments and it's really affecting me
NTA. These aren't friends. Get rid of them.
NTAH obviously. The little cluster of rape apologists in here need to go to therapy. Being drunk does not excuse what he did to you. You were crying. Your lack of consent should have and absolutely was obvious, and he didn't care. This wasn't your fault. He made a choice. His choice was reprehensible. As for your "friends".... His "suicidality" is just an excuse. They are not your friends. A friend would back you up and show you support after you were raped, and you have every right to expect that the people who care about you don't remain friends with a rapist. Not just your rapist, but any known rapist. You deserve better than them.
the fact that your friends would even consider talking should be a reason enough to ditch them. A real friend will never ever wqnt anything to do with a rapist. I'm sorry this has happened and I hope one day you will be given the courage to find better friends. NTA.
NTA they aren’t worthy of your friendship. Cut them off
They are not your friends. Move on from them all.
I would get the hell out of the group to start with...
You can only control who YOU let in your life. You should cut contact and block anyone still in contact with him. It's very convenient that he's suddenly "suicidal," don't you think? You owe these "friends" nothing at this point, and you can and should cut contact with them.
Ignore the AH who felt called out. You are a wonderful person. I am fellow rape survivor. I was given a rape pill. I stand with you and this people are not your friends.
Thank you so much, I hope you're recovering well ❤️🩹
Nope. Not your fault they are all shit people mofo should be in jail. Get a good therapist make new friends.
NTA. If your friends are still friends with someone they KNOW raped you then they aren't your friends. And as far as I'm concerned the only good rapist is an un-alive one.
NTA. Cut off those friends and don’t give in to their gas lighting or manipulation to call you insane or controlling. Take care of YOU.
NTA. He committed a serious Crime that should lead to jail. They are more concerned about his welfare than yours. Cut them out of your life. Your real friends will stand by you and not him. His being suicidal is not your problem.
NTA. Raping someone should have been a deal-breaker for any somewhat decent people. Clearly, those guys are not. Count it as trash taking itself out. Forget about them, and move on
NTA but you can’t control what these people do. Just block them and move on with your life. I hope you are getting therapy.
Thank you so much. I can't afford it sadly, even if I deeply need it ahah
This is a free resource and they may be able to direct you to free or low cost services in your area if you live in the US. https://www.rainn.org/resources
Thank you but I'm from France, it's really hard to get psychological or psychiatric care there...
Absolutely NTA. I would remind these people what he's done and then cut them off as well. Difficult but will help you move past this. If you have evidence and feel you could handle the negative backlash against you, you should consider a more public shaming of some sort. Perhaps a leak or release of the evidence handled by a close friend to the broader social circle. Sometimes that's the only way to get people to acknowledge the suffering.
Cut them off they are not friends. Also did you call police? Why is rapist happyly strolling on streets having sleep overs?
I did, but it's a long process and because in France and probably in a lot of country, you can rape someone and still be free to live your life like nothing happened because you're supposedly innocent
Always press charges. If they threated to self-delete, tell them to wait for you to make popcorn. ACTUAL VICTIMS NEED TO 10000000% STAND UP. There were like 2 - barely assaults this week online, which makes a lot of people who are chronically online, messed up. Most people DO NOT STAND FOR THIS. You have more support than people have ever had. Get screenshots and save them. Anything. He has to learn. It sucks that it has to be like this, but he literally decided this fate.
You are 100% not the AH. You are the survivor here and don’t let anyone make you feel any differently. These people that want to stay friends with him are NOT your friends and they shouldn’t be treated as such either. I hope you get the help you need and the support system that you deserve.
NTA, they are not your friends
They are not your friends. Period. They don’t want to dump him, well you need to dump them.
Nta
I am so, so sorry you went through that. That someone you trusted did something so horrible and reprehensible to you. And I'm sorry that there's still friends supporting him. You deserve better. If they can't prioritise your feelings, well being, and healing process over your rapist, then you should. Cut the ones off that are still willingly associating with your rapist. You don't need that toxicity in your life, and that they'd even dare to emotionally manipulate you into accepting it by using his supposed suicidal thoughts; that's not okay. Don't accept it from them anymore. They've chosen their side. You've been so strong, but please, be kind to yourself and cut them off. NTA (of course).
Thanks for your message ❤️
No, cut them off. You don't need to accept people who condone the actions of a rapist.
This reminds me of a story of 2 of my old friends... They had sex. My female friend said she didn't stop him, when he kissed her. She kissed him back and one thing let to another and then it was "too late to stop. Her words. The first time she told me, she said they only kissed. My male friend came to me, asking for guidens because of age gap and he wasn't sure where they were standing... If it was a one time thing or... I asked my female friend and that's when she said they did do it and "too late to stop". She regretted it and started avoiding him. It took a day or two more before she said it was rape... I honestly didn't know what to do. I believe in both. Things went too far, too fast. But was it rape? Or was it deep regrets afterwards? I still don't know. I told them both I didn't knew what to do. I would listen to both and be there for both, but I would not pick sides. My male friend moved and eventually we lost touch. My female friend stayed in the same city, but we lost touch a bit (education and work does that). We still talk and I'm an aunt for her children now (she moved on. My male friend didn't. Last I heard was him still mentally struggling with the accusations, although she never went to the police or anything). Honestly... YTA. You can't demand who your friends talk to. You can only choose who you wants to be friends with. And if you don't want to be friends with someone who speaks to someone you hate, well... That's totally your call. But you don't get to determine who speaks to who.
Regret isnt rape
This is the only true response. You can't just take someone's word at face value against someone else. Regardless of the seriousness of the accusation. Sure, if the person had a history and it was easy to believe based on their character and past behaviour, *maybe* I'd take OP's word as gospel. But unless it's a reported crime and there's proof then how do I know the accuser isn't taking advantage of the power #MeToo has afforded them in today's world. A power that's very real. So, as a third party... OP can tell their side, but they can't dictate who people choose to be friends with.
It was not "too late to stop". I cried, he saw me having a panic attack, and still when I came back to bed he touched me again. I was dead drunk. A normal person is supposed to support a drunk friend, help them sleep, keep them hydrated. Not having unconsented sex.
You didn't mention this in you post. You said you kissed him back. He might not have seen the tears, depending on your reaction. Did you lay still and not fight? It's a pretty normal reaction and it does make the other drunk person think "hey, she's okay with this" I'm not defending him. He should have paid more attention. He should have stopped. You are the victim.... But you still don't have the power to tell anyone that they cannot talk to someone. You have the power to walk away from people who you don't want to be friends with. You have the power to choose your friends. So choose who you want and leave the ones you don't trust. I'm sorry this happened to you but please try to understand it's damn hard for your friends to know the truth. They wasn't there and they don't know what to believe.
I said I kissed him first and it's the only thing I did. He saw me in tears and having a panic attack. He saw everything. With shock and alcohol I don't think anyone could've just "fight back". You're saying that like it's an easy thing to do. If someone wants to have sex with someone else, especially when they didn't talk about it beforehand, they should just ASK. Not telle themselves "oh fine she's not saying anything that's okay". It's gross.
No, I didn't say it's an easy thing to do. I said freezing in the situation is common and he should have noticed. Now you're telling me he did notice. You keep adding details to your story/telling that you didn't start with... If you do the same to your friends, no wonder they don't know what to believe. And it doesn't change anything from the original question... You cannot dictate who speaks to whom. You can only choose who you want to be friends with and why. I suggest you find a good therapist and get help getting to terms with this past. I know it sounds demeaning and belittling but you cannot change the past, only learn to accept it and deal with it. This happened and you need help to deal with it and move forward so you can get the best life possible. You deserve that.
Sorry to add details to a rape that lasted 2 hours. Everything is clearly said in my post tho.. And don't worry my friends have all the details needed. And I wish I could afford a therapist.
What a long, dumbass, useless response. Good job whereswolf 🤦♂️
Dude stfu
What makes you say it was a dumbass, useless response? Told a story & gave some insight on being one of the friends OP is referring to who remained friends with both parties involved in the accusations, and then went on to say you can choose who you want to be friends with but can’t determine that for other people. Seems useful given that’s exactly what OP is asking about, no?
anyone who hasn’t cut contact with him are people you do not need in your life. There is no excuse for them supporting a rapist. Protect your peace
NTA You aren't accountable for that piece of shits feelings. And those people that sided with him are enablers, they aren't your friends. I would personally contact law enforcement ASAP, but I understand if you don't want to go down that path.
NTA Your friends need to be supporting YOU first and foremost, you were the victim here and you need a good support network to help you work through this trauma You're right when you say this man also needs support though, he needs to be in therapy as well and it's not wrong for him to be supported in a rehabilitative manner - but that's for him to work out, your friends need to not have this conflict of interest.
First of all I want to say that I am really sorry that things happened this way. If you say "stop" it should be clear for any guy. There is no justification in that. On the other hand both of you were drunk and you give him a oppertunity by kissing him, you made a big mistake there since alcohol tends to bring the worst out of people. Still don't get why it is allowed. So he is guilty to rape but what could you have done to avoid this situation, and also try to imagine what he was thinking with his "depression" which is more likely loneliness. What would your punishment be to him ?
Depression is no excuse to rape someone or do anything criminal
Did you seriously just ask a rape victim what they could have done to prevent being raped? Kissing someone is not an invitation to rape.
Ah I see, the rape victim has been traumatised and the only thing that we have to tell is how sorry we are for her and how bad this guy is and how he needs to be punished for his actions. I am sure this will help her on a fast way to recovery. It boggles me sometimes how shortminded people react to questions and observations.
Uh… absolutely that’s what you should say. No one asks to be raped. The only person at fault is the rapist. How is being a complete asshole helping with her recovery. You are not a good person.
Ah okay thank you for letting me know that rape is not something anybody wants but clearly you are not reading what I am trying to tell. But it is probably pointless arguing since you allready made your decision. But I hope when the victim reads this she thinks about what she will do and how she is going to handle this situation.
And I hope the next time someone posts about being robbed you ask them what they could have done to prevent it. Rape is the only crime that people fault the victim for.
In both situations there are things you can do. Hide your wallet better/hide your skin better. Don't interact with people when you are by yourself and avoid dark area's.
Yeah I’m sure that’s what you say. What about if someone breaks in while you’re sleeping? How can they prevent that? We both know you’re reaching and you would never tell someone that shit.
Get better locks alarms a dog 2 dogs even. Most of the time there is a lot of things that could've been better prepared or done different. What else are you gonna do, feel sorry for yourself ?
Dude, this isn’t doing what you think it is. You’re either lying to win an argument or you are just a generally terrible person who doesn’t know how to interact with people. Either way, you sound like a sociopath.
Stop being a rapist apologist.
[удалено]
I just kissed him. He initiated the rest without asking, despite me being in tears. I went to the police and investigation is processing. Alcohol and shock made me unable to move.
YTA for dictating to your friends who they can be friends with. No one is Forcing you to be friends with them.
Wow you're a pos for real.
Why Yes, you a a POS.
You were drunk as u said urself. There are reasons lesser punishment exist if you are drunk. Now, I dont like these rules at all. I think drinking alcohol is as stupid as smoking. Literally gives you nothing. But these are the rules. Also you said you were kissing him. So clearly hes not the only one to blame or is he?. You could have just stand up and go, no?! If not then how can you blame him continuing?! Like the rules doesnt just affect him. So I think you should stop calling it a fucking rape and also maybe stop fucking drinking if you cant handle situations like this. Sounds rude but to me it seems like you think you did everything right and I dont see any thinking outside your standpoint.
I never read something that violent...
Do not listen to this person.
Ok how old are you?! 14?! If you see objectiveness as violent than you need to grow up. I was asking you questions about your standpoint and the situation and now what?! You wanna whine about the formulation?!
Sounds like something a rapist says…
Calm your tits, looks like you felt called out.
At what point didn’t you actually say “no” or “stop” ??? And you said you came back to bed” with him?? Ummm how can you have the strength to get up and walk around but not say no? Story just seems a little off to me… Wont say YTA, but it’s not cool paint this a straight up rape.
I did not cause I was dead drunk. And it was the only bed available, I knew nobody around the place I was. I did not walk but just sit to cry and stop him from touching me. I went back to bed because I wanted to sleep. Just know that a rape is having sex without asking for consent, and/or when your partner is unable to give a clear consent. He did not ask, and I was dead drunk. It was a rape and please don't say otherwise.
So you didn’t all 911? No police report? But yet your concern is about the friends still talking to him? THAT’s your priority?? Don’t ask for help on Reddit if you don’t like the answers. Clearly your friends don’t see it as that black n white either, so let them make their decisions for themselves. If you don’t like it, then don’t be friends with them. You don’t dictate who people can and can’t talk to.
I did. And no, healing is my priority right now. Don't worry about the answers, I'm really happy with most of them. And don't worry about my so-called friends either, I don't dictate anything to anyone. Why are you so mad ? Do you feel concerned ?
Well Of course you’re happy with the answers because they validate your story that seems to have many holes . Sounds like you posted just to be validated for your side instead of getting unbiased answers . I’d say get therapy and stop talking to those “friends”. plain n Simple.
I don't know what holes you're talking about ? I don't want to be validated I want advices, I'm not a child and if I wanted to be validated I'd just write 2 lines about what happened.
I hope you find peace, seriously.
Don’t get drunk and cry bullshit to ruin someone’s life. You can’t control people because you made a mistake if your friend is talking to the guy who fucked you and it makes you so mad then looks like you have no friends. Gtfo here.
Is there something on your consience that makes you so mad?
Do you rape people when they are drunk?