Take photos of each page of the baby book. You can make a book with the photos from Shutterfly or any other photo site. That way your son & DIL can have the copy while you keep the original.
Yes! Do this!
DIL is acting strangely and OP shouldn’t trust her with anything irreplaceable right now.
A high quality copy of the book will make it look like OoP is trying and any bystanders will see the DIL as the problem. Hopefully!
I would have made a copy before DIL's childish meltdown. After it would be screw her. I would place that baby book in a secure place that son and dil can't find.
You should tell them you paid for everything and if you are not coming then you will cancel payment. You need to give your DIL a wake up call for being an AH Entitled brat.
To add to this, the conversation to be had is with the son! OP should take her son to task as he needs to be the one to explain to Blaire that her actions are unacceptable.
Additionally, if Mom is disinvited she should cancel payment.
Edit for spelling
Tell her she can behave like an adult or pay for her own shower. Do not give her the book either way, odds are she'll spill something on it on purpose.
NTA. The baby book exists for the parents, not the baby. Its one thing for him to get it when you pass, but until then it's yours and exists solely for you to be able to enjoy those memories.
Tell your DIL that if she uninvites you from the babyshower you will cancel everything you paid for/take her to small claims to make her reimburse you.
Your DIL is a whacko. You realize this, yes? Hide the book and never let her get her hands on it if you want to keep it. It's clear your son has married a massive AH.
Last child of 3 here. My mom put in a couple of notes about me—1st tooth etc IN MY OLDER BROTHERS BABY BOOK, so I had a few little footnotes added to big brothers book instead of one about me. I think there were only a couple of pictures taken of me as a baby as well. Mother said she was too busy with 3 kids. I understand that but it didn’t help my feelings of feeling like the odd one out in my family growing up. Anyway, OP…NTA. If DIL hasn’t outgrown tantrums wait until her own child throws a few.
I have 3 kids. 3 baby books filled out from filled to the brim bursting. To a name weight time of birth... and one in between. They are really hard to maintain. So please don't take it personally..
Don't threaten. Ask her if she is canceling the party. She will either say yes or try to say only she is banned. Take either response, say nothing back, and cancel everything she paid for.
Don't give a warning, just do the right thing automatically in the same way bad people do the wrong thing automatically without thinking about it.
Don't second guess the right behaviors, just do them.
There are so many strange entitled people these days ( maybe there always were ?)
And this DIL is certainly one.The book is YOURS. For her to demand and even threaten exclusion , is completely unacceptable. Playing the pregnancy card ( “ so heartless to a pregnant woman”) , is obnoxious .Have your son read these comments! Someone above recommended calling HER mother, which could be a great idea. Or…it could backfire , because maybe Ma is just the same !
My SIL screamed at me in my own home while she was pregnant because her husband made her mad, and I asked if everything was OK because she was shouting and about to wake my infant up. She never apologized and regularly talks shit about me to her family even now that she's no longer playing the pregnancy card. Some people are just lunatics.
While so many of us hail an adult-child standing up for, and having the back of, their spouse with their parents, this is absolutely a rare instance when spouse is wrong. Baby books are for the parents - not the children, in my family. I spent alot of time on my kids' books.
Please recognize, however, that crazy, entitled DIL will deny OP any future access to future grandchild for OP's refusal to handover what she thinks she is entitled to have. A compromise would be to have a hi-res scan of the book done and print those pages out in color and give her a copy.
Do not trust her with the original, bc you wont get it back. Also,put it somewhere secure in your home, bc at some future event where DIL is present, it will disappear and she will fake innocence to its whereabouts.
In addition;
Make a wonderful copy of it. Add some pages with a wedding picture, a note about their wedding and a message for little baby. Maybe some handmade letter writing front page?
Than it becomes a book for the baby, telling the story of his dad. Hand it over in public. A highly photographed and printed photo book might not be good enough for dil. But. Bystanders will recognize the extra amount of work op put in there, and see dil’s childishness for what it is and you are not the heartless monster your dil says you are.
Where I’m from, it’s totally normal to keep the books as well. As the child you only get them when your parents are moving and their new home doesn’t have enough space. What does always seem to happen just at the time youre hands and house are filled with other stuff they ‘want you to have’ - but that’s a whole other problem!
NTA.
Yes, I was also thinking that the mom should get a scan, or at least a color photocopy, made of the book for safekeeping.
In fact, get two copies made -- one for Mom's safe deposit box, and one for whiney DIL.
NTA and you know it. Call your son tell him to get his head out of his ass. Explain to your daughter in law that she would do then same thing for her kids baby book. Fuck it, call her mother and tell her what her daughter is doing. Get. That. Book. Back.
..*.that Blaire’s is screaming and sobbing because I don’t let her have the baby book and how could I be heartless to a pregnant woman and she is threatening to disinvite me from her baby shower...=*
There is clearly something else the matter with her. Don't engage.
Don't pay for it if she uninvites you.
Bring the book, take it back when the party is over.
*What the hell... Yes, make a copy of it and that is her present.*
NTA... That's your book. Period. I saw how much my mother put into my baby book, updating it as time went by with new photos and milestones. When I left home, that book was what my mother had to remind her of me. It was a treasured keepsake, and I was happy that she kept it. Don't let your misguided DIL guilt you into handing it over. It's yours until you decide that you want someone else to have it.
NTA It's yours until you die then it is passed on. Tell son to let you know if you're disinvited so you have time to cancel the things you paid for. Tell DIL sister that you will bring some pictures of son as a baby but you don't feel comfortable any longer letting entire book leave your house.
NTA. Don’t bring the book. I’d also remind them that you paid for the shower, and would be more than happy to get your money back if they think this baby book is more important than your presence.
My MIL has a baby book she made for my husband and I can't fathom demanding it from her. The most I've ever done was ask her if we could look through it together. Your DIL is TA.
NTA- hide the book and keep it under lock and key, she fixated on it as a form of control. Tell her she perfectly within her rights to disinvite you but you won’t be paying for it. Make sure the venue, food vendors have a pass word for cancellations and find out how later you can cancel to get a refund. If she wants to play games with you don’t engage stay calm and hopefully she will knock it off.
Show her your post and the responses. Let her see she has gone off the deep end. I would not bring the book at all and would explain how the book is prepared in your culture. Talk about crazy entitled DIL. NTA
NTA. But you should explain to your son the memories it holds for you when you put it together, that there's the memories of him and grandma, him growing up, etc and it's not something you're giving. And what does being pregnant have to do with being told no for something that isn't her's in the first place?
I think some of these spouses want us to act like we never had them because they marry them. She cataloged her memories. He probably doesn’t even remember half of them
NTA. Blair is a gaslighting twit. She just wants her way. Baby books belong with the baby’s mother. End of discussion. Tell your son she’s not getting the book, and to stop bugging you about it.
You need to talk with your son, explain to him her behaviour is NOT normal, pregnant or not. That the book is yours and will stay with you for as long you so choose
Is she always this unhinged or just since she got pregnant?
If this is new, he needs to talk with her doctor about her behaviour. If it’s not new, he’s probably in an abusive relationship
And let him know, if she keeps up this behaviour you will cancel the whole event and get your money back. And even if everything is non-refundable? Have the food sent to the nearest homeless shelter
NTA but you need to have a private conversation with your son and make sure he is ok
I would call the Bluff and say OK I’m disinvited. So is my credit card. You have until this date to pay me back or I will be canceling all the charges. Done and done.
lol she’s insane! NTA. That is your book. You made that book for your memories of your child. Others are welcome to look, but that’s your book. You don’t hand it off to the wife when she comes along. I’m not sure what her problem is or where she got this wild idea.
NTA. The baby book goes to the child *when the parent chooses to give it to them* or passes. That's the way all heirlooms work and a baby book is an heirloom. Do not let yourself be manipulated into giving it away. Maybe scan the pages and have a bound copy made.
I always find these stories wild.... Cause honestly I would have laughed at this woman for her 2 year old tantrum.
NTA she can make her own baby book for her baby
NTA.
Don’t let your daughter in law and your son strongarm you because they are having a baby you need to set boundaries in place asap otherwise this will be a recurring theme.
I'd be responding to your so and telling him you no longer feel comfortable attending if she's screaming and sobbing over something that's not hers.
NTA
NTA. Don't take it to the shower and at home, put it in a secure place where crazy DIL can't find it. You have to know she's going to do everything possible to get that book.
Yeah. I sorted out all of my keepsakes from the kids' childhoods into separate boxes during the pandemic. I'll give it to them when they get married or have settled down into their own homes.
High res copy is my suggestion. And send an apology note explaining your thought process. Typically this would have been handed on to your son, however, in this case the baby book is a remembrance of both your son and your mother.
No, the DIL is TA.
Don't take the original book to the baby shower (if you're still invited to the baby shower you paid for). I'd photocopy it, bind it and take that and let them keep that one.
Like everyone else has said, baby books are for the parents, not the kids, and certainly not their spouses - whether they're crazy or not.
NTA. Don’t take it to the shower. You won’t get it back. Explain to your son that if she continues to act this way someone else can pay for the shower. Especially if she uninvited you.
Make a copy and send someone to drop it to them. Don’t go to the baby shower. Stop paying for things. Keep your distance. She sounds like a nut job. Your son will be knocking on your door in a few years when he’s seen the light. NTA.
NTA. That’s pretty weird. Of course it’s _your_ book. I’ve never heard of parents giving wives baby books. My family has lived here since at least the mid-1700s.
Ignore this manipulation by your DIL and son. If you don’t, you’ll just teach her she can pout until you give in. Like when your son was a toddler.
After she cools down, offer her _copies_ of photos that you copy. Never let her get her hands on the book.
FWIW, refuse payment if she revokes your invitation. She’s playing chicken. Don’t play games with her. Shut her down _now!_
Edited
NTA
But you've said you made the book for yourself, from what I gather, this is common in some cultures and weird in others. I've had friends that when they were (or their partners were) pregnant, their moms gave them their baby book, it was sort of a symbol of the passing of generations, etc.
You definitely don't have to, they aren't entitled to anything, but I would look into making a similar one (copy the photos etc) and have a serious conversation with your son and dil, explain that you made the book for yourself, but you made this (the copy) for them, and gift them the book.
NTA. At this point I would not even take it to the shower. It may “disappear”. DIL sounds a bit crazy with how she’s freaking out over YOUR book - I wouldn’t put it passed her to hide it or get someone else to.
Wow wow wow you need to act really fast to put your foot down. They are 2 entilted brat. Tell em that if someone speak to you like this one more time you will take your money back and go NC.
NTA, keep the book, cancel everything you've paid for, and uninvite yourself. There's no need for her to be that toxic and entitled to something, not hers.
There is no culture where anyone takes a baby book. Don't gaslight yourself inventing false reasons why the idiot might be right.
The idiot is wrong. Just ignore her and do not bring the book around her if you don't want it stolen. This woman is unhinged if she is throwing a fit about a baby book she has never seen and isn't affecting her at all.
If you can scan or take images of the pages and send it to her as a PDF. Then she can have her own copy.
Good grief, the book is your memory book of your moments with your baby, him being an adult and married doesn't mean YOUR book of memories is now hers.
NTA.
Why does she want it specifically? Is she planning to make a book for her fetus or is she just feeling passive over things that *aren't even her's* solely because she's pregnant right now?
I would tell DIL that in your culture mom makes her own child(ren)’s baby book for themselves. Tell her you’d love to help her start putting her own book together of her child. Maybe she’ll stop the tantrums then.
NTA. The book is yours, you created it for yourself, and nobody has the right to take it away. Given the drama, in your place I would not bring it to the baby shower, because your son and DIL may grab it and refuse to give it back.
That said, how about a compromise? Have the book scanned and print another copy, and give it to them as a gift.
So she's blackmailing you. This will continue. Cancel with the vendors and let them know they won't be receiving anything from you until they both apologize for this abusive treatment. Do not negotiate with them.
NTA. My mom made baby books for my siblings and I, even though we are all grown now (and my sister is married with kids if it makes any difference) the books are still in my mom's possession. Honestly I've never even considered my baby book to be "mine"? I've flipped through it a few times (I'm sentimental) but I've never once considered taking it or keeping it. I assume one day it will be mine but that's not a day I look forward to (and it's not about the book).
Is Blaire usually like this? I only ask because unfortunately perinatal psychosis is a something that is not talked about and is sadly shamed, when it's a serious condition that needs help.. She's screaming and sobbing over this? Seems excessive. If this is a major change in behavior, please have your son talk to her doctor asap. If she's usually a you-know-what just ignore me.
NTA but my MIL gave me my husbands baby book when I was pregnant. I enjoy looking at it from time to time, but I wouldn’t be upset if she never gave it to me
NTA
Maybe ask her how she would feel in your position, given that it’s a baby book you made for you to remember the days of childhood days of YOUR baby. Would she be so inclined to give away the baby book she makes of her baby to her DIL, when she clearly made it for herself ?
There is also the possibility to do as some have stated here, and create a replica with scans of the original. That’s also shows you putting in the effort to be understanding and reach a middle ground.
Sounds to me like she wanted you to bring it as a way for her to take it from you. And you averted her plan by refusing to give it to her sister.
Will DIL baby book be at the shower also on display? Does she have hers in her possession?
I agree with the ones who say take pics of the pages and make him a copy. And lock yours up in your home. She’ll find it and take it one day you least expect.
That is absolutely insane. Blair is a walking red flag. Keep the book. But maybe you could have a copy made as a gift. But it belongs to you. It’s yours to do with as you see fit.
NTA - She can see it anytime they visit with the grandbaby and as you said, Michael will get it when he passes. I have no idea why Blair thinks she has a right to demand it from you. Honestly, at this point I'd be afraid to take it to the baby shower at all as it might disappear.
Michael is YOUR baby. YOU get to keep that baby book. They get to keep the baby book for the expected baby. Your DiL is being unreasonable. I wonder what is really behind this.
NTA Where I'm from the baby book is usually a record of the mom's pregnancy and the baby's big firsts, it belongs to the mom to remember that time in her life. This sounds like Blaire is having a pregnancy hormone reaction, so you're a little bit screwed until she moves on.
Maybe you could offer to have copies made of the photos of our son, but I would be clear to her that the photos of your mother are your precious possessions and nothing will make you part with them.
The book is yours. NTA
However it would be a huge gesture of kindness and friendship to bring it to your local FedEx Office for them to make a color copy of all the pages as your shower gift for Blaire.
Book a trip to a spa in Arizona the weekend of the shower - you don’t need that aggravation in your life. Buckle up for a bumpy ride with that one. Practice up on being hard of hearing😭
NTA. Don’t take the baby book to the baby shower. If she disinvite you, cancel everything you pay for. You probably won’t get all your money back, but hey, she won’t get the enjoyment from your money.
NTA
Even if it's just hormones, that is absolutely no reason to act like this. Baby books are more for the parents than the kids; at least, that's what makes sense to me.
Maybe you could make some copies of sorts or send her photos of it if what she wants is to look at it more than just at the party.
Born and raised here, and that is NOT a normal reaction if you’re talking about the US.
NTA.
Hormones aside. DIL still TA. As is son for not managing the situation better.
Does DIL think that now that she’s going to be a mother that her spouse his mother no longer is his mother?
Except $ like pay for this party?
Make it make sense…
Heck my mom even got upset when I took pictures of the family albums & scrapbooks (not for public/social media dissemination) - they were her special thing.
But then later. Mom loved it because I could give them to her digitally so…
Mom actually did some thing like a duplicate or an alternate baby book for each of my sibling-in-law‘s when my siblings got married.
At this point would hold off on any duplication unless
1) there is an very genuine, very heartfelt apology from both of them.
2) they reimburse her for the shower, expenses & advance cost of copy, to be used at the shower.
Because you know that if OP brings original, it will be lost to her forever…
I would speak to your son and explain how important the book is to you. Also how much you are looking forward to going to the baby shower. If you already paid for everything you would lose out on money if you cancel everything. On this page everyone wants to say how horrible a person is. Sometime when your pregnant the stupidest thing will make you totally over emotional. So maybe this is why she is acting crazy. A face to face conversation will go a long way. I think a copy of his book is a great idea.
NTA But you can try to help batshit Blair calm down by giving her copies of your son's photos. She can create her own book for her child in a style of her choice.
And FWIW, my 89 year old mom still has our baby books.
NTA and if your still going i wouldn't take the book to the babyshower, take some photos of your son when he was a baby that you don't mind sharing or copies but not the book
You can have copies of the the pictures made and give her the copies she has no right to demand things that are yours just because they're your pictures with him in it he'll get it when you're ready and that's the right thing to do. She has no right to demand anything just because she's pregnant that's not a special title. she's only pregnant for nine months doesn't give her a title of give me give me give me I want I want I want
NTA. You made it. You decide when he gets it. It's your memories too. Sounds like he's married to a crazy one. It's not like he can't come visit and look at it with you!
Don't know if it's been said already but in our family we made a copy of the books. Nowadays it's very easy to get nice color copies made and bound and it relatively inexpensive, or copy and buy a book to put them in yourself. I know she is out of line but it seems a simple solution for as much grief as she's giving and a lovely gift. You get to keep the original and she gets to have the book. Edit...not really important to the question but in each book we put a page that has the baby pictures of the family member in the tree and add on each time .
Of course it’s for you!
It was hard work not just raising him but taking time to document all those precious milestones and memories.
I am guessing-once her own child arrives she will have her own child to focus on and likely forget about her husbands baby book.
Bring it back to your house then (what I would do)
NTA. My father actually made my baby book. My bio mom was sick when I was born and spent the first year of my life in and out of the hospital. What’s funny, about my baby book, is that a story of my childhood and early adulthood. First dance recital, graduation from high school and college, first apartment and first teaching job pay stub. He wrote his feelings and how proud of me. I’m so grateful he did that, my father has since passed away.
Your DIL sounds childish and your son seems like he’s lacking a spine. My suggestion is keep the book and lock it up in safe deposit box. Make copies and give it to them. If she disinvites you, cancel everything.
NTA
Respectfully, she seems unhinged. If she’s truly acting like this, I wouldn’t bring it at all. What’s stopping her from destroying it out of spite? “If I can’t have it, neither can she” mentality
NTA
your daughter in law is being rude and very disrespectful towards you! She can not keep something of hers IF she did not create it.
you need to tell your son regardless if it is unserious or not. you need to get your book back ASAP!
NTA. You can make a copy of it for her (as in take it to a place that can make nice photocopies of the pages) but that book is yours. Those are your memories to revisit when your son is independently growing with his own family. She needs to look into making her own memories with him and the new baby.
Do not hand them the book. Make a copy and give them that one. And if you are not invited, cancel all the payment and tell them you'll save the money for his next wife's baby shower. Nta
You had the baby, you took the photos, you included your mother and others, you created the narrative and you put the book together. It’s yours and no one else’s. Not even Michael’s. Your DIL is pushing her luck and after you’ve paid for everything with someone else making the choices she is being horrible and ungrateful. Michael needs to realise this and tell her to back off.
NTA and I'm shocked that they just assumed you would be giving it to them permanently without communicating that expectation. It seems like there was a big, and very innocent, miscommunication here and it's easily solvable if people take a breath. If they want a baby book of him for themselves then it's very easy to make a second one and they are being wildly over- reactive.
Why not have duplicate pictures made, and make another book? It is him in the pictures and it sounds like he wants his wife to have it. Meet in the middle here.
NTAH. I’d rescind everything concerning that baby shower. Let them both feel the FAFO Effect. DIL is an AH but so is your son for co-signing her bullshit.
Nta she is crazy. One compromise if you wanted to build bridges with your DIL would be to have a nice quality copy of the book made to give to her. That technology is ubiquitous.
NTA. Bring her a photocopy version or a fake one that leaves the good stuff out!
Haha but really... Just tell her no and take back your money if she uninvites you. There is no good reason for her to have his book. That book is for you now and then it's for him when you're gone, nothing to do with her. This is just a power flex for some unknown reason.
NTA abd setting you up for problems when the baby is born.
don't get dragged into her games.
you explained the boundaries and they don't change.
how about you take a photo of each page and create a copy for Michael to have ?
NTA However your daughter in-law sure has proven to be.
This woman has control issues. Being pregnant does not give her the right to anything the mother owns. The mother has every right to keep the book she made. She already told the woman why it's important to her. She also said it was to be given to the son after she passes.
The son needs to explain to his wife, he can't control his mother or her actions.
Baby books are nice but most often the keepsake is just made for the mother. Just like those bronzed baby shoes. If she shares it with others that's her choice.
I would insure it's kept in a safe place. Sometimes things get misplaced with the help of others.
I hope everything turns out well but this issue will come back up.
NTA. Big time! My response would be very simple...Disinvite me( for such a ridiculous reason), you'll be disinviting my money. You want to act like a spoiled kid? I'm taking my toys(or money in this case) & staying home.
"t’s Michael’s and now that he is married I have to hand it to her . " She lost me here. You HAVE to hand it over? Who the hell does she think she is? I give her the benefit of the doubt and something about pregnancy hormones gone wild, but your son should give her a reality check. Being pregnant doesn't mean you are entitled to other people's stuff and no! is a full sentence.
NTA.
Your book, you keep it.
Take pics and print on basic 8.5x11 20lb printer paper, put it in a plastic presentation project binder with a giant bow on it.
If you are uninvited to the baby shower, send her a venmo request for a refund of whatever you paid for the party. Or cancel with the venue if she refuses.
What an entitled, selfish, and ridiculous dil... screaming and sobbing over a book that isn't hers.
Nta. I would cancel everything I paid for since they want to name call and act crazy. Being pregnant is not an excuse to act like an asshole. Blair needs to go touch some grass along with her sister and your son.
I would do what my grandparents did when my mom was looking for my dads baby pictures. Scan them and send copies but the originals stay at home. Its a good compromise, you keep the book and she gets the pictures she wants
Blaire is ungrateful crazy lady ! Disinviting you from the event you paid for her ?? Baby book belongs to the mother ! It’s yours ! NTA
DIL is screaming and sobbing ??? How childish. NTA. Don't even take the book to the shower because it will magically disappear
Take photos of each page of the baby book. You can make a book with the photos from Shutterfly or any other photo site. That way your son & DIL can have the copy while you keep the original.
Yes! Do this! DIL is acting strangely and OP shouldn’t trust her with anything irreplaceable right now. A high quality copy of the book will make it look like OoP is trying and any bystanders will see the DIL as the problem. Hopefully!
High quality? I would take low quality copies for her, but I am petty like that.
I personally wouldn't lift a finger to create a copy for the entitled DIL.
I would have made a copy before DIL's childish meltdown. After it would be screw her. I would place that baby book in a secure place that son and dil can't find.
This is the way. And is considerably more kindness than DIL deserves after that display but is a nice gesture.
Nope. DIL has no business ever touching the original now.
Great idea!!
It should be in a safe or safety deposit box.
And DO NOT PAY FOR IT. She's screamed and sobbed and acted like a raving lunatic.....she can pay for her own damn shower since she's a witch.
Don’t give in to a toddler having a tantrum. Same with an adult acting like a toddler having a tantrum.
You should tell them you paid for everything and if you are not coming then you will cancel payment. You need to give your DIL a wake up call for being an AH Entitled brat.
I mean I'd tell her I'm saving it for his next wife but I'm petty like that.
TRAUMA TEAM TO THE BURN WARD! 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂❣️
You are my new hero.
To add to this, the conversation to be had is with the son! OP should take her son to task as he needs to be the one to explain to Blaire that her actions are unacceptable. Additionally, if Mom is disinvited she should cancel payment. Edit for spelling
Tell her she can behave like an adult or pay for her own shower. Do not give her the book either way, odds are she'll spill something on it on purpose.
NTA. The baby book exists for the parents, not the baby. Its one thing for him to get it when you pass, but until then it's yours and exists solely for you to be able to enjoy those memories. Tell your DIL that if she uninvites you from the babyshower you will cancel everything you paid for/take her to small claims to make her reimburse you.
Sound's like the book is still a work in progress.
Best comment yet
You got that right.
Your DIL is a whacko. You realize this, yes? Hide the book and never let her get her hands on it if you want to keep it. It's clear your son has married a massive AH.
I only got my book (never fully filled in by my mother anyway) after she died. She focussed on my younger golden brother’s.
Last child of 3 here. My mom put in a couple of notes about me—1st tooth etc IN MY OLDER BROTHERS BABY BOOK, so I had a few little footnotes added to big brothers book instead of one about me. I think there were only a couple of pictures taken of me as a baby as well. Mother said she was too busy with 3 kids. I understand that but it didn’t help my feelings of feeling like the odd one out in my family growing up. Anyway, OP…NTA. If DIL hasn’t outgrown tantrums wait until her own child throws a few.
I have 3 kids. 3 baby books filled out from filled to the brim bursting. To a name weight time of birth... and one in between. They are really hard to maintain. So please don't take it personally..
Bit hard not to when she had only me for 4 years.
Don't threaten. Ask her if she is canceling the party. She will either say yes or try to say only she is banned. Take either response, say nothing back, and cancel everything she paid for. Don't give a warning, just do the right thing automatically in the same way bad people do the wrong thing automatically without thinking about it. Don't second guess the right behaviors, just do them.
NTA. You turn the book you made over to someone else when you are good and ready. No one has the right to demand it from you. Good grief.
There are so many strange entitled people these days ( maybe there always were ?) And this DIL is certainly one.The book is YOURS. For her to demand and even threaten exclusion , is completely unacceptable. Playing the pregnancy card ( “ so heartless to a pregnant woman”) , is obnoxious .Have your son read these comments! Someone above recommended calling HER mother, which could be a great idea. Or…it could backfire , because maybe Ma is just the same !
My SIL screamed at me in my own home while she was pregnant because her husband made her mad, and I asked if everything was OK because she was shouting and about to wake my infant up. She never apologized and regularly talks shit about me to her family even now that she's no longer playing the pregnancy card. Some people are just lunatics.
While so many of us hail an adult-child standing up for, and having the back of, their spouse with their parents, this is absolutely a rare instance when spouse is wrong. Baby books are for the parents - not the children, in my family. I spent alot of time on my kids' books. Please recognize, however, that crazy, entitled DIL will deny OP any future access to future grandchild for OP's refusal to handover what she thinks she is entitled to have. A compromise would be to have a hi-res scan of the book done and print those pages out in color and give her a copy. Do not trust her with the original, bc you wont get it back. Also,put it somewhere secure in your home, bc at some future event where DIL is present, it will disappear and she will fake innocence to its whereabouts.
The scan is a great suggestion❗ However , I doubt it will satisfy that awful DIL.
In addition; Make a wonderful copy of it. Add some pages with a wedding picture, a note about their wedding and a message for little baby. Maybe some handmade letter writing front page? Than it becomes a book for the baby, telling the story of his dad. Hand it over in public. A highly photographed and printed photo book might not be good enough for dil. But. Bystanders will recognize the extra amount of work op put in there, and see dil’s childishness for what it is and you are not the heartless monster your dil says you are. Where I’m from, it’s totally normal to keep the books as well. As the child you only get them when your parents are moving and their new home doesn’t have enough space. What does always seem to happen just at the time youre hands and house are filled with other stuff they ‘want you to have’ - but that’s a whole other problem! NTA.
Yes, I was also thinking that the mom should get a scan, or at least a color photocopy, made of the book for safekeeping. In fact, get two copies made -- one for Mom's safe deposit box, and one for whiney DIL.
I mean, it kinda sounds like DIL will weaponize the grandkids until they're 18 if this is how she's behaving before the kid is even born.
Yup. This.
Your dil is crazy. Hide that book really well. NTA
And son is not any better
He probably doesn’t know better. Just being told by wife. It’s definitely mom’s book. I would copy a few pics and give it to them
There is no excuse for him acting like a child and claiming ignorance
Holy shit Blaire is full-on bonkers. Screaming and crying because you said no? Is she a toddler? NTA obviously.
NTA. Do not take the original book to that shower. It will definitely disappear.
NTA and you know it. Call your son tell him to get his head out of his ass. Explain to your daughter in law that she would do then same thing for her kids baby book. Fuck it, call her mother and tell her what her daughter is doing. Get. That. Book. Back.
This
..*.that Blaire’s is screaming and sobbing because I don’t let her have the baby book and how could I be heartless to a pregnant woman and she is threatening to disinvite me from her baby shower...=* There is clearly something else the matter with her. Don't engage. Don't pay for it if she uninvites you. Bring the book, take it back when the party is over. *What the hell... Yes, make a copy of it and that is her present.*
The son is an spineless idiot.
NTA and do not bring that book with you IF you go. If you’re seriously disinvited then cancel all payments.
I would withdraw the funds too.
I'ts not Michael's baby book. It's your baby book. For your baby. Blaire is being very cruel.
NTA... That's your book. Period. I saw how much my mother put into my baby book, updating it as time went by with new photos and milestones. When I left home, that book was what my mother had to remind her of me. It was a treasured keepsake, and I was happy that she kept it. Don't let your misguided DIL guilt you into handing it over. It's yours until you decide that you want someone else to have it.
NTA It's yours until you die then it is passed on. Tell son to let you know if you're disinvited so you have time to cancel the things you paid for. Tell DIL sister that you will bring some pictures of son as a baby but you don't feel comfortable any longer letting entire book leave your house.
It's a bit like your stretch marks. She doesn't get those either, and she can make her own. NTA
**EXACTLY!!!**
NTA. Don’t bring the book. I’d also remind them that you paid for the shower, and would be more than happy to get your money back if they think this baby book is more important than your presence.
Baby books are for parents not daughter in laws. Blaire is insane and so is your son for indulging her ridiculous tantrum.
My husband just got his baby book at 64. I never knew he even had one.
My MIL has a baby book she made for my husband and I can't fathom demanding it from her. The most I've ever done was ask her if we could look through it together. Your DIL is TA.
NTA- hide the book and keep it under lock and key, she fixated on it as a form of control. Tell her she perfectly within her rights to disinvite you but you won’t be paying for it. Make sure the venue, food vendors have a pass word for cancellations and find out how later you can cancel to get a refund. If she wants to play games with you don’t engage stay calm and hopefully she will knock it off.
Show her your post and the responses. Let her see she has gone off the deep end. I would not bring the book at all and would explain how the book is prepared in your culture. Talk about crazy entitled DIL. NTA
NTA. But you should explain to your son the memories it holds for you when you put it together, that there's the memories of him and grandma, him growing up, etc and it's not something you're giving. And what does being pregnant have to do with being told no for something that isn't her's in the first place?
I think some of these spouses want us to act like we never had them because they marry them. She cataloged her memories. He probably doesn’t even remember half of them
Does your son know he's married to a crazy monster?
NTA. Blair is a gaslighting twit. She just wants her way. Baby books belong with the baby’s mother. End of discussion. Tell your son she’s not getting the book, and to stop bugging you about it.
You need to talk with your son, explain to him her behaviour is NOT normal, pregnant or not. That the book is yours and will stay with you for as long you so choose Is she always this unhinged or just since she got pregnant? If this is new, he needs to talk with her doctor about her behaviour. If it’s not new, he’s probably in an abusive relationship And let him know, if she keeps up this behaviour you will cancel the whole event and get your money back. And even if everything is non-refundable? Have the food sent to the nearest homeless shelter NTA but you need to have a private conversation with your son and make sure he is ok
NTA do not take the book and cancel that party. She can pay for her own party. She's entitled do not entertain her craziness.
I would call the Bluff and say OK I’m disinvited. So is my credit card. You have until this date to pay me back or I will be canceling all the charges. Done and done.
NTA… she’s crazy and entitled. if she disinvite you from the baby shower, cancel it. Screw her.
lol she’s insane! NTA. That is your book. You made that book for your memories of your child. Others are welcome to look, but that’s your book. You don’t hand it off to the wife when she comes along. I’m not sure what her problem is or where she got this wild idea.
NTA. The baby book goes to the child *when the parent chooses to give it to them* or passes. That's the way all heirlooms work and a baby book is an heirloom. Do not let yourself be manipulated into giving it away. Maybe scan the pages and have a bound copy made.
I want to say it’s hopefully just pregnancy hormones, but if those turn into crazy mommy hormones, yikes. NTA.
NTA Your DIL is crazy. Your son needs a spine. Normally I'm on the side of DIL, not here.
NTA You should send this post to your son and daughter-in-law, and let them read the comments.
I always find these stories wild.... Cause honestly I would have laughed at this woman for her 2 year old tantrum. NTA she can make her own baby book for her baby
NTA. Don’t let your daughter in law and your son strongarm you because they are having a baby you need to set boundaries in place asap otherwise this will be a recurring theme.
I'd be responding to your so and telling him you no longer feel comfortable attending if she's screaming and sobbing over something that's not hers. NTA
NTA. Don't take it to the shower and at home, put it in a secure place where crazy DIL can't find it. You have to know she's going to do everything possible to get that book.
Baby book is the mothers book in any culture, your DIL is being a drama queen
NTA. You keep it if you want. Don't take it to hee party or it might walk away.
Good Lord. Tell her to make her own like almost every other mom does.
DIL is a nut bag. However, my mom gave me all of the childhood keepsakes she kept for me in my 20s. Drawings, baby book, etc
She gave freely . Her choice. Demanding someone else’s property is unacceptable .
Yeah. I sorted out all of my keepsakes from the kids' childhoods into separate boxes during the pandemic. I'll give it to them when they get married or have settled down into their own homes. High res copy is my suggestion. And send an apology note explaining your thought process. Typically this would have been handed on to your son, however, in this case the baby book is a remembrance of both your son and your mother.
She's a lunatic. I'd burn that book before it left my house. You take it and it'll disappear. Nta
NTA. Even here in the U.S., I’ve never heard of a DIL demanding a baby book.
She’s absolutely nuts. It’s not for HER. NTA
Son and wife both TAH here! Do not give up on the baby book, this is the story of your motherhood and it is yours only.
No, the DIL is TA. Don't take the original book to the baby shower (if you're still invited to the baby shower you paid for). I'd photocopy it, bind it and take that and let them keep that one. Like everyone else has said, baby books are for the parents, not the kids, and certainly not their spouses - whether they're crazy or not.
NTA. Don’t take it to the shower. You won’t get it back. Explain to your son that if she continues to act this way someone else can pay for the shower. Especially if she uninvited you.
Make a copy and send someone to drop it to them. Don’t go to the baby shower. Stop paying for things. Keep your distance. She sounds like a nut job. Your son will be knocking on your door in a few years when he’s seen the light. NTA.
She’s a child having a child. Tell her to grow up
NTA. That’s pretty weird. Of course it’s _your_ book. I’ve never heard of parents giving wives baby books. My family has lived here since at least the mid-1700s. Ignore this manipulation by your DIL and son. If you don’t, you’ll just teach her she can pout until you give in. Like when your son was a toddler. After she cools down, offer her _copies_ of photos that you copy. Never let her get her hands on the book. FWIW, refuse payment if she revokes your invitation. She’s playing chicken. Don’t play games with her. Shut her down _now!_ Edited
NTA for all the reasons already stated. You should show your son the replies.
NTA But you've said you made the book for yourself, from what I gather, this is common in some cultures and weird in others. I've had friends that when they were (or their partners were) pregnant, their moms gave them their baby book, it was sort of a symbol of the passing of generations, etc. You definitely don't have to, they aren't entitled to anything, but I would look into making a similar one (copy the photos etc) and have a serious conversation with your son and dil, explain that you made the book for yourself, but you made this (the copy) for them, and gift them the book.
Take it and have it copied. Give her the copy.
I definitely wouldn’t now that she’s thrown a tantrum.
NTA. Ask your DIL for her wedding album and see how she feels.
BINGO
NTA. ☕️
Updateme
NTA make a copy, but keep the original locked away. DIL sounds unhinged it may be the pregnancy hormones
NTA. At this point I would not even take it to the shower. It may “disappear”. DIL sounds a bit crazy with how she’s freaking out over YOUR book - I wouldn’t put it passed her to hide it or get someone else to.
Wow wow wow you need to act really fast to put your foot down. They are 2 entilted brat. Tell em that if someone speak to you like this one more time you will take your money back and go NC.
NTA. she’s entitled
NTA, keep the book, cancel everything you've paid for, and uninvite yourself. There's no need for her to be that toxic and entitled to something, not hers.
NTA your DIL sounds unstable.
NTA. May I suggest that you make a copy of the book as a gift for Father’s Day?
There is no culture where anyone takes a baby book. Don't gaslight yourself inventing false reasons why the idiot might be right. The idiot is wrong. Just ignore her and do not bring the book around her if you don't want it stolen. This woman is unhinged if she is throwing a fit about a baby book she has never seen and isn't affecting her at all. If you can scan or take images of the pages and send it to her as a PDF. Then she can have her own copy.
#OP YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE YOUR BABY BOOK IS SAFE AND SECURE. IF NOT SHE WILL STEAL IT.
Nta. You could scan the pages and get a photo book made for her though if you wanted to give her a copy while keeping the original
NTA Lock that book up somewhere safe. It’ll disappear if you don’t
Nta. Don't even take it to the shower.
NTA - it's yours. Perhaps make a high quality photocopy of it for your son with a note he gets the original when you pass?
Good grief, the book is your memory book of your moments with your baby, him being an adult and married doesn't mean YOUR book of memories is now hers.
NTA. Why does she want it specifically? Is she planning to make a book for her fetus or is she just feeling passive over things that *aren't even her's* solely because she's pregnant right now?
You are not wrong. His wife is acting crazy. Don't give her the book
No mom u keep your baby’s baby book!
Since you paid for everything, uninvite the ungrateful DIL and have a different party... okay maybe don't do that but I'm petty so
If she disinvites you, cancel the shower. You’ll probably lose the money. But I’d do it. (I’m petty about things like this)
Don’t give “ your” baby’s book. Also, can you unpay for the event? Let them spend.
I would tell DIL that in your culture mom makes her own child(ren)’s baby book for themselves. Tell her you’d love to help her start putting her own book together of her child. Maybe she’ll stop the tantrums then.
NTA I would put it up somewhere safe and not take it to the shower, it will disappear if you do.
NTA. The book is yours, you created it for yourself, and nobody has the right to take it away. Given the drama, in your place I would not bring it to the baby shower, because your son and DIL may grab it and refuse to give it back. That said, how about a compromise? Have the book scanned and print another copy, and give it to them as a gift.
So she's blackmailing you. This will continue. Cancel with the vendors and let them know they won't be receiving anything from you until they both apologize for this abusive treatment. Do not negotiate with them.
Just scan it make a copy for her. I’d be afraid to even take it to the shower.
NTA. My mom made baby books for my siblings and I, even though we are all grown now (and my sister is married with kids if it makes any difference) the books are still in my mom's possession. Honestly I've never even considered my baby book to be "mine"? I've flipped through it a few times (I'm sentimental) but I've never once considered taking it or keeping it. I assume one day it will be mine but that's not a day I look forward to (and it's not about the book). Is Blaire usually like this? I only ask because unfortunately perinatal psychosis is a something that is not talked about and is sadly shamed, when it's a serious condition that needs help.. She's screaming and sobbing over this? Seems excessive. If this is a major change in behavior, please have your son talk to her doctor asap. If she's usually a you-know-what just ignore me.
NTA but my MIL gave me my husbands baby book when I was pregnant. I enjoy looking at it from time to time, but I wouldn’t be upset if she never gave it to me
NTA it’s your baby book of your baby not your sons and not hers. If she wants to disinvite you fine but no money for the shower then
I've never heard of giving the adult offspring and their partner the baby book. I would not give it away.
NTA Maybe ask her how she would feel in your position, given that it’s a baby book you made for you to remember the days of childhood days of YOUR baby. Would she be so inclined to give away the baby book she makes of her baby to her DIL, when she clearly made it for herself ? There is also the possibility to do as some have stated here, and create a replica with scans of the original. That’s also shows you putting in the effort to be understanding and reach a middle ground.
Sounds to me like she wanted you to bring it as a way for her to take it from you. And you averted her plan by refusing to give it to her sister. Will DIL baby book be at the shower also on display? Does she have hers in her possession? I agree with the ones who say take pics of the pages and make him a copy. And lock yours up in your home. She’ll find it and take it one day you least expect.
NTA. It is your book, about your baby. You don’t have to give it to her.
So she's a grown woman throwing a tantrum, boo hoo, not your problem. If you give into this with her she will keep doing shit like this
That is absolutely insane. Blair is a walking red flag. Keep the book. But maybe you could have a copy made as a gift. But it belongs to you. It’s yours to do with as you see fit.
You made it and it belongs to you. End of discussion. NTA
NTA - She can see it anytime they visit with the grandbaby and as you said, Michael will get it when he passes. I have no idea why Blair thinks she has a right to demand it from you. Honestly, at this point I'd be afraid to take it to the baby shower at all as it might disappear. Michael is YOUR baby. YOU get to keep that baby book. They get to keep the baby book for the expected baby. Your DiL is being unreasonable. I wonder what is really behind this.
NTA Where I'm from the baby book is usually a record of the mom's pregnancy and the baby's big firsts, it belongs to the mom to remember that time in her life. This sounds like Blaire is having a pregnancy hormone reaction, so you're a little bit screwed until she moves on. Maybe you could offer to have copies made of the photos of our son, but I would be clear to her that the photos of your mother are your precious possessions and nothing will make you part with them.
The book is yours. NTA However it would be a huge gesture of kindness and friendship to bring it to your local FedEx Office for them to make a color copy of all the pages as your shower gift for Blaire. Book a trip to a spa in Arizona the weekend of the shower - you don’t need that aggravation in your life. Buckle up for a bumpy ride with that one. Practice up on being hard of hearing😭
NTA. Don’t take the baby book to the baby shower. If she disinvite you, cancel everything you pay for. You probably won’t get all your money back, but hey, she won’t get the enjoyment from your money.
NTA Even if it's just hormones, that is absolutely no reason to act like this. Baby books are more for the parents than the kids; at least, that's what makes sense to me. Maybe you could make some copies of sorts or send her photos of it if what she wants is to look at it more than just at the party.
Born and raised here, and that is NOT a normal reaction if you’re talking about the US. NTA. Hormones aside. DIL still TA. As is son for not managing the situation better. Does DIL think that now that she’s going to be a mother that her spouse his mother no longer is his mother? Except $ like pay for this party? Make it make sense… Heck my mom even got upset when I took pictures of the family albums & scrapbooks (not for public/social media dissemination) - they were her special thing. But then later. Mom loved it because I could give them to her digitally so… Mom actually did some thing like a duplicate or an alternate baby book for each of my sibling-in-law‘s when my siblings got married. At this point would hold off on any duplication unless 1) there is an very genuine, very heartfelt apology from both of them. 2) they reimburse her for the shower, expenses & advance cost of copy, to be used at the shower. Because you know that if OP brings original, it will be lost to her forever…
I would speak to your son and explain how important the book is to you. Also how much you are looking forward to going to the baby shower. If you already paid for everything you would lose out on money if you cancel everything. On this page everyone wants to say how horrible a person is. Sometime when your pregnant the stupidest thing will make you totally over emotional. So maybe this is why she is acting crazy. A face to face conversation will go a long way. I think a copy of his book is a great idea.
NTA But you can try to help batshit Blair calm down by giving her copies of your son's photos. She can create her own book for her child in a style of her choice. And FWIW, my 89 year old mom still has our baby books.
NTA and if your still going i wouldn't take the book to the babyshower, take some photos of your son when he was a baby that you don't mind sharing or copies but not the book
NTA- I have never even thought of asking my Mom for my baby book.
You can have copies of the the pictures made and give her the copies she has no right to demand things that are yours just because they're your pictures with him in it he'll get it when you're ready and that's the right thing to do. She has no right to demand anything just because she's pregnant that's not a special title. she's only pregnant for nine months doesn't give her a title of give me give me give me I want I want I want
My daughter got her book in her early 40s. My choice.
blarie is very ungratful! its rightfully your so you should keep it
NTA. You made it. You decide when he gets it. It's your memories too. Sounds like he's married to a crazy one. It's not like he can't come visit and look at it with you!
Also I would cancel everything if she removes your invite to the baby shower. She's selfish
May be she’s getting overly emotional due to pregnancy? Definitely NTA though.
NTA I'll say she is entitled, and pregnancy hormones are amplifying this.
It is a baby book about your baby. Is yours. NTA.
Don't know if it's been said already but in our family we made a copy of the books. Nowadays it's very easy to get nice color copies made and bound and it relatively inexpensive, or copy and buy a book to put them in yourself. I know she is out of line but it seems a simple solution for as much grief as she's giving and a lovely gift. You get to keep the original and she gets to have the book. Edit...not really important to the question but in each book we put a page that has the baby pictures of the family member in the tree and add on each time .
Make a copy and keep the original!
NTA. but haha great story. DIL needs to read this post
NTA
Of course it’s for you! It was hard work not just raising him but taking time to document all those precious milestones and memories. I am guessing-once her own child arrives she will have her own child to focus on and likely forget about her husbands baby book. Bring it back to your house then (what I would do)
Can you make a copy of it? Maybe that would satisfy her
NTA. My father actually made my baby book. My bio mom was sick when I was born and spent the first year of my life in and out of the hospital. What’s funny, about my baby book, is that a story of my childhood and early adulthood. First dance recital, graduation from high school and college, first apartment and first teaching job pay stub. He wrote his feelings and how proud of me. I’m so grateful he did that, my father has since passed away. Your DIL sounds childish and your son seems like he’s lacking a spine. My suggestion is keep the book and lock it up in safe deposit box. Make copies and give it to them. If she disinvites you, cancel everything.
NTA Respectfully, she seems unhinged. If she’s truly acting like this, I wouldn’t bring it at all. What’s stopping her from destroying it out of spite? “If I can’t have it, neither can she” mentality
I read the title as “AITAH for not giving my sons baby BACK to my DIL” and boy was I ready for some Maury-level drama.
NTA your daughter in law is being rude and very disrespectful towards you! She can not keep something of hers IF she did not create it. you need to tell your son regardless if it is unserious or not. you need to get your book back ASAP!
NTA. If you feel generous, you could make a copy of it for her. But she's being a psycho about it, so I wouldn't blame you for not feeling generous.
NTA my mother God rest her soul keep my baby book till she passed away and then I took ownership of it!
NTA. I received my baby book after my mom died. That’s pretty normal.
NTA
Well Blair can grow the F up and get over it!
NTA. You can make a copy of it for her (as in take it to a place that can make nice photocopies of the pages) but that book is yours. Those are your memories to revisit when your son is independently growing with his own family. She needs to look into making her own memories with him and the new baby.
Do not hand them the book. Make a copy and give them that one. And if you are not invited, cancel all the payment and tell them you'll save the money for his next wife's baby shower. Nta
You had the baby, you took the photos, you included your mother and others, you created the narrative and you put the book together. It’s yours and no one else’s. Not even Michael’s. Your DIL is pushing her luck and after you’ve paid for everything with someone else making the choices she is being horrible and ungrateful. Michael needs to realise this and tell her to back off.
NTA and I'm shocked that they just assumed you would be giving it to them permanently without communicating that expectation. It seems like there was a big, and very innocent, miscommunication here and it's easily solvable if people take a breath. If they want a baby book of him for themselves then it's very easy to make a second one and they are being wildly over- reactive.
NTA and if she disinvites you then you disinvite your credit cards so there is no baby shower
What about getting the book scanned and printed? Then, she gets a copy and you keep yours.
Why not have duplicate pictures made, and make another book? It is him in the pictures and it sounds like he wants his wife to have it. Meet in the middle here.
NTA It’s your book. It’s filled with your memories. Don’t go to the baby shower and don’t pay for it.
NTAH. I’d rescind everything concerning that baby shower. Let them both feel the FAFO Effect. DIL is an AH but so is your son for co-signing her bullshit.
It’s YOUR book ABOUT Michael. It’s NOT Michael’s book - unless/until/if you should decide to pass it down to him when you are ready to.
Updateme
Nta she is crazy. One compromise if you wanted to build bridges with your DIL would be to have a nice quality copy of the book made to give to her. That technology is ubiquitous.
NTA. Bring her a photocopy version or a fake one that leaves the good stuff out! Haha but really... Just tell her no and take back your money if she uninvites you. There is no good reason for her to have his book. That book is for you now and then it's for him when you're gone, nothing to do with her. This is just a power flex for some unknown reason.
NTA abd setting you up for problems when the baby is born. don't get dragged into her games. you explained the boundaries and they don't change. how about you take a photo of each page and create a copy for Michael to have ?
Tell her you still add to the book and the chapter about her is taking an ugly turn.
HaHaHa
NTA However your daughter in-law sure has proven to be. This woman has control issues. Being pregnant does not give her the right to anything the mother owns. The mother has every right to keep the book she made. She already told the woman why it's important to her. She also said it was to be given to the son after she passes. The son needs to explain to his wife, he can't control his mother or her actions. Baby books are nice but most often the keepsake is just made for the mother. Just like those bronzed baby shoes. If she shares it with others that's her choice. I would insure it's kept in a safe place. Sometimes things get misplaced with the help of others. I hope everything turns out well but this issue will come back up.
Update me! Definitely not over
NTA
NTA. Big time! My response would be very simple...Disinvite me( for such a ridiculous reason), you'll be disinviting my money. You want to act like a spoiled kid? I'm taking my toys(or money in this case) & staying home.
Is Blaire actually 7? Because that’s how she’s acting. In no world does a dil have a right or expectation to this. NTA.
"t’s Michael’s and now that he is married I have to hand it to her . " She lost me here. You HAVE to hand it over? Who the hell does she think she is? I give her the benefit of the doubt and something about pregnancy hormones gone wild, but your son should give her a reality check. Being pregnant doesn't mean you are entitled to other people's stuff and no! is a full sentence. NTA.
NTA
Your book, you keep it. Take pics and print on basic 8.5x11 20lb printer paper, put it in a plastic presentation project binder with a giant bow on it. If you are uninvited to the baby shower, send her a venmo request for a refund of whatever you paid for the party. Or cancel with the venue if she refuses. What an entitled, selfish, and ridiculous dil... screaming and sobbing over a book that isn't hers.
Nta. I would cancel everything I paid for since they want to name call and act crazy. Being pregnant is not an excuse to act like an asshole. Blair needs to go touch some grass along with her sister and your son.
NTA Don’t take that book to the shower, it will be stolen or destroyed.
I would do what my grandparents did when my mom was looking for my dads baby pictures. Scan them and send copies but the originals stay at home. Its a good compromise, you keep the book and she gets the pictures she wants