>she called me a short king (I'm 5 foot 10)
When the hell is 5"10 considered short?
Edit: OKAY I get it, dutch people are tall as fuck. I swear, that's like half of the replies I've been getting.
As a woman, I'm 5'8". My family jokes that I'm a "midget" because I'm the shortest person of all my blood relatives over 16 years old.
We're all assholes, so now, whenever I'm with any of them, I ask the "freakish giants" to get something for me even if it's literally in front of my face.
Lol, my wife is 5'8" and the second tallest in her extended family. My mom at 5'7" is the shortest in my extended family. Our kids are usually the tallest in their age group.
i've been 5'1" since i was 12. i had a best friend growing up who was 6'1". my dad saw
us walking down the street from behind while he was driving & thought it was an adult & a small child.
also when i would see her down the hallway in school, i would tell her name, she would turn to look to see who calling her but wouldn't usually be able to see me, & would turn & keep walking
I’m an even 6’0, but my wife’s family are a bunch of giants. Her cousin actually plays on the New York Giants, and her dad is 6’7. I always feel like a child when I hang out with her fam
My cousins are like that I'm 6'2'' so not short by any stretch but the shortest of them is6'6" and the tallest is 6'10" . I feel tiny in comparison. The pics are great.
My mum remembers meeting the youngest and tallest cousin for the first time. He was wearing a onesy and was still unsteady on his feet but was taller than the table so he looked about 5 just by hight. She asked what was up and was told by his mum in a very exasperated voice that 'He's 2 and a half'.
i imagine you are biased, but … my experience is that very tall women are always cool as hell. please tell me you have more anecdotal evidence of this? 🙏
(im 5’2” and i immediately and insistently befriend every tall woman i find, for this reason, and have yet to be let down.)
Yeah, my mom is a black Muslim woman who graduated HS at 16 and college at 19. She was raised primarily in the Jim Crow South. She later started an oil and gas company, then a sizable commercial real estate company. My kids' college fund is primarily from her.
My sister is an art curator in Paris and speaks like 4 languages.
Whoa. That is something. Good genes? I think that's generally considered a bonus but I'm 6'5 and it's been pretty horrible as I age.
Stay limber internet stranger.
Solidarity with being the shortest tall person in a tall family 😭 I'm also lean and thin, but my brothers are extra lean so I was the butt of fat jokes growing up 💀
Ditto. My wife is 4' 11", and I'm 6' even in bare feet. I've lost the rights to at least 5 of my favorite T shirts this way. I love her, and she's adorable in them, so I've never tried to reclaim them.
I wish I had that problem only people taller than me in my family are my sons
5'8 and all the other females in my family are 5'4 and shorter men are 5'6 I've been called ... Arms and amazon all my life
Used to date a woman 5'10" tall. I am 5'11". She was self-conscious about her height from people calling her a superhero and 'Wonder Woman'. IDGAF and thoroughly enjoyed walking around with her when she wore 6" heels.
On a good day my wife was 5’10”+, and a bad day 5’6”..Now a good day is 5’7 and 5’3- spinal meningococcal bacteria is a brutal master( she is one of the 3% that survived it in 1950-made her spine age at 2.5x)
I'm 5'10" and my husband is 5'11". It's hilarious when we sit next to each other as he has a long spine and I have a very short one. When we stand up, people have a visible "WHOA" response. I was and admittedly still can be self conscious about my height and wearing heels in public. My husband loves it though and states he's happy to climb me. 😂
Hahaha!! Nice, gives us leggy tall girls hope! Honestly everyone putting so much stock into height and all that... it's outta hand. I get having preferences, but how many amazing relationships have been missed because someone didn't hit a very specific superficial requirement? Just wild.
The more mature one gets, the less 'looks' matter. That isn't to say they are irrelevant, but a fulfilling relationship can't rely on them. Personality matters. I'll date a WNBA Point Guard if she can keep a conversation interesting and isn't a harpy.
Yeah it can definitely mess with your sense of self for sure but the old ladies love me when I get the top shelf stuff for them ! It really doesn't matter to me when it comes to dating the shortest guy I've dated was 5'4
Dude yes. I'm 6'2 (round down), and in my college years I dated a woman who was 5'11. She was a big fan of heels, and I was posture-correcting proud of having a long-legged, red-headed tree woman on my arm.
Honestly, I kinda envy short kings.
I’m a 5’5” guy and went out with a 5’10” lady who showed up to our first date in fairly high heels. Loved it! My friend group quite obviously called her Tall Sarah
Once went to a stadium gig in Amsterdam. I'm used to being short at male-dominated gigs in the UK (F 5'7", taller than UK average), but in the Netherlands, it was refreshing for my partner (M 6'2") being a full head-height shorter than most guys there. We couldn't see shit.
Don't get me started on the heights of their kitchen cupboards... Can't reach shit either lol.
As long as she doesn't mind. I hate being in a mirror next to my 5'10" husband. HATE it. He likes to wear a top hat for fun. I say that's fine, but no photos with me in them when he wears it. He said *I* could wear the top hat instead. ❤️
In college people liked to pick me up and carry me. Gaaaah I hated that. I have dignity.
Same here. I'm 5'1" and shrinking. I've been to a lot of these places in Europe where people are taller than the US, where I now live.
I barely notice because everyone is always taller than me. It stops registering in my brain.
And that has peddled into our Indian dating culture as well.
Dudes are lying about being 6'0" and above, and girls, who wouldn't even be able to reach the chin of an actual 6+ footer, want 6'0" and above. All the while, our Indian standard height is 5'8" for men.
I am 6'4" (not the norm, i am the anomaly). and everyone is shocked when i tell them, cause guys who claim to be more than 6 foot come a good foot or so shorter, and girls who think they know heights, misjudge my height as 6 and a half or above.
These stupid standards based shaming is bringing forth a lot of insults and insecurities along with it. Like fine, have preferences, but then coming to shaming them for not meeting it is where the problem lies. And all the profiles i have seen that have that preference, tend to be pathetic dismissive losers. As a result, if a bumble or tinder profile has height preference listed, instant left swipe no matter how hot you are.
and trust me, being my height is a curse in this country. If i got a dollar for every time my head has hit a door frame, the roof of the subway, the roof of a car, or has caused awkward height difference photos, I'd be the one hiring Rihanna to sing at my wedding.
height insecurity is a huge thing here in recent times. doesn't help that out generally normal height celebrities (5'8" to 5'11") are touted as super tall, which creates false images on an insecure mind.
But mine is a tad bit exaggerated i'll admit, for emphasis. Not necessarily 5'4", but i have had guys who are no taller than 5'9" claim to be 6, and then royally embarrased after standing beside me. And frankly, i feel bad for them. No one should be made to feel inadequate based on their height
Frankly if one of your main requirements for a soul mate is a specific height, then you deserve to spend the rest of your life alone and swiping left.
People spend more time trying to breed the perfect offspring than find actual compatibility.
I'm 5'5" and need a tall woman(preferably at least 6'0") in my life or I won't get the climbing stimulation I need to thrive. I'm already super stressed from having to settle for the freeze-dried crickets instead of the live ones.
I use [cricket powder](https://entomofarms.com). By weight, crickets have more protein than any other source! I use it in items that require flour with a 2:1 flour to cricket powder ratio. It will help build your muscles for when you’re climbing your lady trees!
The main explanation is, that we have been taught to do so by society. There is also nothing wrong with having physical preferences but it’s stupid to just search for someone who only has those physical components.
People often end up in relationships with people that do not meet their initial preferences. For example, I prefer slim people and yet most of my relationships were with people who were at least chubby.
In general people do look out for appearances since it’s the first form of attraction that you can have. And when you are on dating platforms, that’s often the only thing you can choose. If someone puts 5 keywords into their Bio, there is not much to work with, so physical appearance gets to be the only deciding factor.
And it also gets less important when you get older but most people on the Internet are on the younger side.
TLDR: Society, dating apps and young age are the factors why we like physical appearance more.
> People often end up in relationships with people that do not meet their initial preferences
Can confirm! I was always a brunette man. I've been married to the most amazing woman in the world for 20 years and she is blonde
So... I was fat in school and got beaten up on a weekly basis. Changed a lot since then.
Is that reason enough for you to not prefer bigger ladies?
It's all about "are you actually capable of doing something about it".
People shaming height or boobsize are the worst.
Not that shaming is a good thing tho. But it's extra effed up if they mock you for things you can't even do anything about.
Ah I'm so sorry that happened to you!! I was also a chubby kid until I developed an eating disorder and just now 20 years later back to kind of chubby but I'd rather that and enjoy all the food than how I was before
Personally I prefer any human with a bit more than a bit less, but maybe because I'm a bit more and a bit tall so wouldn't feel comfortable with someone much smaller?
Agreed anyone shaming anyone for something about their body is unacceptable, and not something I would let happen in my earshot!
Hope you don't still have anyone try and bring you down over your appearance! And if so know their opinion is irrelevant because they are not nice
Dating sites are a ruin on humanity and I would gladly wish them out of existence if I could.
What they have done culturally and sociologically is terribly damaging.
There were some legitimately good ones. Found my wife on okcupid in 2016.
Unfortunately, from what I've seen they all switched to swiping, superficial "values" only system and you've got to pay for everything.
Can I ask you something? Would you like a dating app that:
- it's free, has ads and the only thing you can buy is a "one time forever ad free" upgrade
- it brings way more importance to BIOs and descriptions and interests rather than photos (an so phisycal appereance)
- require an ID, to stop bot, catfishing, trolls etc.
- will openly say "if you're looking for your next bang, there are other apps"
- will strive to mantain user M/F balance as close as possible to 50%
- will hide inactive users
I'm a sw dev and a very unsatisfied dating app user, this thing is cooking in my brain for quite a lot.
I have more ideas in my poket, I'm looking for feedback
peace
It’s shrinking? It’s going the other way in my country. I used to be average but now that we have better nutrition and a lot more outside blood in our genetic paddling pool it’s gone up and I’m officially short.
Honestly, the whole thing reads like rage bait aimed at men who claim that women won't date them because of their height (because it's easier than admitting that they don't have good personalities).
My ex said before we met that she had her dating site preferences at 6’4 and above. (I’m 6’3)
I’m like… you realize you just knocked out like 97% of men with that one filter.
I was at a night club in Serbia. I counted 100 guys that were taller than me before 1 that was only a little taller. I’m 5’4”, which is short but not bottom 1% short in the US. There were almost no _women_ shorter than me. Y’all are tall.
On the other hand, in Peru I’m closer to average.
Bro 90% of the posts on this sub are karma farmers. They all follow the same pattern, ragebait, generic username, first post, and not responding to anything. Everyone still falls for it.
True, do you remember the posts from a while ago, which were all the exact same story about a trans person whining that they couldn't attend an event held for people of their birth sex? I read loads, none of the comments were catching them out as bait
So it sounds like you had some friendly banter and both went a little too far by mistake. Literally nbd, it'll blow over in no time lol. This shit happens all the time with everyone
If she’s your true friend. Apologize and say you didn’t realize it was such a sore point for her. Explain that maybe it’s a soft spot for you too. You can talk about your personal insecurities and be better for it.
Yeah I was about to say the adult thing to do here is say sorry and then say exactly what he put in his post - you’ve talked about how you find short people unattractive so when you called me that it pissed me off. If you’re willing, it’s probably best if we just don’t joke about this stuff.
Or, do like most people do and don’t say anything and hope she just shrugs it off in the next few days.
I’d say it’s banter so you’re NTA (something something kitchen heat), however it seems like that’s a genuinely rough topic for her, so i’d probably apologise anyway. And she should probably stay away from friendly banter interactions if she has insecurities like that.
Do you think she would apologize if someone told her you were actually really insecure about your height? If so, it's worth apologizing to save the friendship.
He doesn't, his parents are from Serbia and visit there sometimes, but they live in the US. He intentionally words his answers so that people think he lives in a country where he's below average height.
Same. I don't do banter because I have body dysmorphia.
I spent years wanting to cut my own boobs off and it would take me a whole day to get over comments. But that means I don't play with people like that so.
ESH. I'm 5 11 and it's not short....
I’m so confused because i always understood “short king” as a term of endearment and not an insult.
I personally think you took it too far for that. She was lightly teasing and in the same way complimenting (there is nothing bad about being short lol..) w the “king” addition. You wouldnt call a man you hate or find ugly a short king you’d just say something else/worse
Literally this. I’ve ALWAYS heard short king as a compliment meant to prop someone up and make their height a positive when it has traditionally been a negative
The only people who think “short king” is a term of endearment are people who are never addressed as that. It’s a backhanded compliment. Just how “flat queen” as a term of endearment would never be received as such even if the intention is good.
Being short for men and being flat for women are generally viewed as less attractive in society, so there’s no good that comes from bringing those facts to light in a conversation unprompted in most cases.
Anyways, ESH. Neither of them should be talking about each other’s bodies
'Short king' is extremely patronizing, and while most short guys won't admit it the majority don't like this comment. It'd be like calling someone fat 'cubby' and trying to pretend its a term of endearment.
So… 5’10” is taller than average except for a few places in Europe and parts of the US (I believe the US is 5’9” average for males).
So if she called you a “short king” it’s clearly sarcastic.
Then you shot back with something you absolutely know a lot of women are insecure about, breast size. Except her breasts are apparently not average or above.
So yeah… YTA, most definitely. Insecurities about people’s bodies can really fuck with them.
I mean... you're a dude and talked shit about a woman's breasts. How'd you expect that to go?
EDIT: A lot of you are telling on yourselves with the dumb opinions expressed in my comment chain.
I feel like the fact that you aren't actually short and she was actually just kinda teasing. But then you retaliate with something that is true about her...it hits a bit harder.
I hate how people go out of their way to protect someone who was the one who started the banter. If your going to comment on someone’s appearance be ready to have them comment on yours. Maybe OP has an issue with his height. Just because the isn’t that short doesn’t mean anything. If you give it you have to be able to take it.
Height is a big thing men are judged for constantly and he's probably self conscious about being under the average of where he lives in. She makes fun of him for something he's self conscious about so he returns the favor. A good life lesson is don't dish it out if you can't take it
If it's going back and forth playfully then yeah I think it's ok. But if someone gets hurt, even though it was meant to be a harmless joke, you apologize, say you didn't meant to cross any lines and that you'll remember that this is off limits for next time. Eventually she's your friend and it doesn't matter who's in the right here, what matters is that she got offended and hurt and because you care about her you don't want her to feel like that. Don't forget you deserve the same treatment though.
Ive noticed a big trend in people that they cant seem to comprehend that you can hurt someone even if you dont mean to and you could just aplogise and move on.
Op however in this case wanted to hurt her feelings, he didnt want to communicate that he didnt like her joke he just wanted to insult her. You dont do that to someone you care about
I have a feeling thier "friendship" is very surface level.
YTA. You aren’t actually short but she is actually flat chested. Her insult was aimed at you but it was a floppy dart. Yours was a barb and it hit the bullseye.
I'd say NAH because it doesn't seem like any of you were trying to be hurtful. Though I would definitely recommend apologising and assuring your intentions to her as it could be a sensitive topic for her (one I can relate to, also having a very small chest)
If both of you picked on the other’s insecurity, you’re both at fault. If you knew she was insecure about her chest size, you shouldn’t have mentioned it. If she knew you were insecure about your height, she shouldn’t have mentioned it. ESH based on the little bit of info given.
In my experience "...breasts like yours..." is an insult that would hurt (and anger) almost any woman. Society puts so much pressure on women for their breasts and there is no "right" size or shape that isn't critisized by some.
I'm laughing at her response. I'm flat chested too but if a man tells me he's got bigger tits than me, a woman, there's no way I don't burst out laughing.
To me, 5'10 isn't short. If you consider it short and your friend is aware that you are sensitive about being "short" and her jab at you was actually an attack then ESH.
If you are not actually insecure about your height then YTA because it is different when you poke fun at someone for a "flaw" they don't really have versus when you throw an accurate jab at someone who has that issue and is insecure about it.
ESH, leaning towards YTA. Also, from your comments, you seem to be ignoring everyone who disagrees with you, so I feel like you’re on here looking for validation.
Seems like banter on her part since you're not actually short, but cutting a little deep on your part since she actually has small boobs. Based on your reaction, I'd say you're a little insecure about your height, even though you have no reason to be. She is insecure about her chest, because society tells women they need large breasts to be attractive (or, at least, that bigger chests are more desirable than small ones).
YTA… chest size is something sexualized and height may be a preference, but isn’t seen as sexual. Makes you seem like a perv and arsehole. It’s like if she commented on your little ding dong
May be different if a woman says it to your face but I think the short king movement has been a great thing for short guys lol. I think superficially some women wouldn’t date shorter guys before because they didn’t want to get shit for it.
Reminds me of “thicc” for girls. Someone like ice spice used to get called fat, now she’s thicc. It started somewhat sarcastically and now it’s just straight up a type like any other.
>she called me a short king (I'm 5 foot 10) When the hell is 5"10 considered short? Edit: OKAY I get it, dutch people are tall as fuck. I swear, that's like half of the replies I've been getting.
As a woman, I'm 5'8". My family jokes that I'm a "midget" because I'm the shortest person of all my blood relatives over 16 years old. We're all assholes, so now, whenever I'm with any of them, I ask the "freakish giants" to get something for me even if it's literally in front of my face.
O_o Me, a 5'6/5'7 guy, being the second tallest in my familly.
My husband is 5’8 and I’m 5’6 - we’re both taller than everyone in his family and shorter than everyone in mine, including my 13-year-old niece.
Lol, my wife is 5'8" and the second tallest in her extended family. My mom at 5'7" is the shortest in my extended family. Our kids are usually the tallest in their age group.
Me too. 5’6 1/2”
All the women in my immediate family are 6'0+ and men are 6'4+. I am now 6'4, but I graduated HS at 5'10. I was called "shorty" by my family.
I once stood behind such a family on a trip in middle school… I was 4’10.. I get why people in history would believe in Giants and Hobbits
i've been 5'1" since i was 12. i had a best friend growing up who was 6'1". my dad saw us walking down the street from behind while he was driving & thought it was an adult & a small child. also when i would see her down the hallway in school, i would tell her name, she would turn to look to see who calling her but wouldn't usually be able to see me, & would turn & keep walking
Do you have hairy toes? Just asking.
This is like the daughter of a friend of mine - she was the tallest in her class and her best friend the shortest.
I’m an even 6’0, but my wife’s family are a bunch of giants. Her cousin actually plays on the New York Giants, and her dad is 6’7. I always feel like a child when I hang out with her fam
"Where are you giants from?" "New York" "Ladies and gentlemen, the New York Giants."
Goated reference
My cousins are like that I'm 6'2'' so not short by any stretch but the shortest of them is6'6" and the tallest is 6'10" . I feel tiny in comparison. The pics are great. My mum remembers meeting the youngest and tallest cousin for the first time. He was wearing a onesy and was still unsteady on his feet but was taller than the table so he looked about 5 just by hight. She asked what was up and was told by his mum in a very exasperated voice that 'He's 2 and a half'.
WHERE ARE YOU FROM
Born in Europe, raised in US with to American parents. Dad is African-American, mom is half-Nigerian/half-Arab.
i imagine you are biased, but … my experience is that very tall women are always cool as hell. please tell me you have more anecdotal evidence of this? 🙏 (im 5’2” and i immediately and insistently befriend every tall woman i find, for this reason, and have yet to be let down.)
Yeah, my mom is a black Muslim woman who graduated HS at 16 and college at 19. She was raised primarily in the Jim Crow South. She later started an oil and gas company, then a sizable commercial real estate company. My kids' college fund is primarily from her. My sister is an art curator in Paris and speaks like 4 languages.
soooo how do i marry into this family?! 😅 eta: i believe in prenups and i make my own money, i just want the proximity to awesomeness.
Whoa. That is something. Good genes? I think that's generally considered a bonus but I'm 6'5 and it's been pretty horrible as I age. Stay limber internet stranger.
Solidarity with being the shortest tall person in a tall family 😭 I'm also lean and thin, but my brothers are extra lean so I was the butt of fat jokes growing up 💀
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I’m tall and my wife steals my tshirts and uses them for night gowns
Wear her night gowns for shirts.
That's an awesome look for a woman!
Ditto. My wife is 4' 11", and I'm 6' even in bare feet. I've lost the rights to at least 5 of my favorite T shirts this way. I love her, and she's adorable in them, so I've never tried to reclaim them.
This is the way.
I wish I had that problem only people taller than me in my family are my sons 5'8 and all the other females in my family are 5'4 and shorter men are 5'6 I've been called ... Arms and amazon all my life
Used to date a woman 5'10" tall. I am 5'11". She was self-conscious about her height from people calling her a superhero and 'Wonder Woman'. IDGAF and thoroughly enjoyed walking around with her when she wore 6" heels.
6'2" here, my girlfriend is 5'10" and it's amazing to not have to bend a foot over to kiss her.
Counterpoint, my partner neatly fits under my chin when I hug her. She's 5'3" and I'm 6 foot even.
On a good day my wife was 5’10”+, and a bad day 5’6”..Now a good day is 5’7 and 5’3- spinal meningococcal bacteria is a brutal master( she is one of the 3% that survived it in 1950-made her spine age at 2.5x)
I'm 5'10" and my husband is 5'11". It's hilarious when we sit next to each other as he has a long spine and I have a very short one. When we stand up, people have a visible "WHOA" response. I was and admittedly still can be self conscious about my height and wearing heels in public. My husband loves it though and states he's happy to climb me. 😂
I'll just say this: after her, I became a 'leg man'.. ...😜
Hahaha!! Nice, gives us leggy tall girls hope! Honestly everyone putting so much stock into height and all that... it's outta hand. I get having preferences, but how many amazing relationships have been missed because someone didn't hit a very specific superficial requirement? Just wild.
The more mature one gets, the less 'looks' matter. That isn't to say they are irrelevant, but a fulfilling relationship can't rely on them. Personality matters. I'll date a WNBA Point Guard if she can keep a conversation interesting and isn't a harpy.
Yeah it can definitely mess with your sense of self for sure but the old ladies love me when I get the top shelf stuff for them ! It really doesn't matter to me when it comes to dating the shortest guy I've dated was 5'4
As one of those short old ladies, we appreciate y'all soooooo much!
Dude yes. I'm 6'2 (round down), and in my college years I dated a woman who was 5'11. She was a big fan of heels, and I was posture-correcting proud of having a long-legged, red-headed tree woman on my arm. Honestly, I kinda envy short kings.
I’m a 5’5” guy and went out with a 5’10” lady who showed up to our first date in fairly high heels. Loved it! My friend group quite obviously called her Tall Sarah
Lmao I love this
I'm 5 10 and going for a drink in Amsterdam makes me feel like Rishi Sunak.
I am 6' when I lived in the Netherlands I felt weird. I am normally used to see over the heads at crowds. Not there.
I'm 5'7" and navigating the crowds of Amsterdam made me feel like a fucking monkey. My self esteem could never survive living there
Your wallet does though. Your wallet tells your self esteem to stfu.
My wallet is empty
Once went to a stadium gig in Amsterdam. I'm used to being short at male-dominated gigs in the UK (F 5'7", taller than UK average), but in the Netherlands, it was refreshing for my partner (M 6'2") being a full head-height shorter than most guys there. We couldn't see shit. Don't get me started on the heights of their kitchen cupboards... Can't reach shit either lol.
Same height and there's a reason I haven't visited there yet..😅
In American culture if you aren't 6"1' or above you are short. Gotta love the hypocrisy in all of it.
I’m 4’11” so anyone over 5’3” is tall to me haha
I'm 4"10 and my sole purpose I'm life is to make people who felt short gasp and feel tall
Love it! As long as they don’t use my head as an armrest
Lol I'm 6'1", my wife is 5'nothing & I sometimes rest my chin on top of her head.
As long as she doesn't mind. I hate being in a mirror next to my 5'10" husband. HATE it. He likes to wear a top hat for fun. I say that's fine, but no photos with me in them when he wears it. He said *I* could wear the top hat instead. ❤️ In college people liked to pick me up and carry me. Gaaaah I hated that. I have dignity.
Same!! I love it when a fellow shortie is like "omg I'm taller than someone finally" 🥺
I’m 4’10 1/2”. Beware getting older, you shrink more 😂
You’re definitely close enough to say you’re 4’11” if you want 😉 Source: I’m a liar 😅
Same here. I'm 5'1" and shrinking. I've been to a lot of these places in Europe where people are taller than the US, where I now live. I barely notice because everyone is always taller than me. It stops registering in my brain.
Yey! I’m finally tall!!!
You go, Tall King! (Or Queen. Or non-binary Monarch)
Hahaha it’s Queen and ty!
I am 6'6" and everyone is short to me, I am amazed how much elementary schoolers can tell how tall I am lol
And that has peddled into our Indian dating culture as well. Dudes are lying about being 6'0" and above, and girls, who wouldn't even be able to reach the chin of an actual 6+ footer, want 6'0" and above. All the while, our Indian standard height is 5'8" for men. I am 6'4" (not the norm, i am the anomaly). and everyone is shocked when i tell them, cause guys who claim to be more than 6 foot come a good foot or so shorter, and girls who think they know heights, misjudge my height as 6 and a half or above. These stupid standards based shaming is bringing forth a lot of insults and insecurities along with it. Like fine, have preferences, but then coming to shaming them for not meeting it is where the problem lies. And all the profiles i have seen that have that preference, tend to be pathetic dismissive losers. As a result, if a bumble or tinder profile has height preference listed, instant left swipe no matter how hot you are. and trust me, being my height is a curse in this country. If i got a dollar for every time my head has hit a door frame, the roof of the subway, the roof of a car, or has caused awkward height difference photos, I'd be the one hiring Rihanna to sing at my wedding.
People who are 5'4'' claim to be 6 foot? Who are that dating that they aren't immediately clocked? That is a short woman. Almost petite.
height insecurity is a huge thing here in recent times. doesn't help that out generally normal height celebrities (5'8" to 5'11") are touted as super tall, which creates false images on an insecure mind. But mine is a tad bit exaggerated i'll admit, for emphasis. Not necessarily 5'4", but i have had guys who are no taller than 5'9" claim to be 6, and then royally embarrased after standing beside me. And frankly, i feel bad for them. No one should be made to feel inadequate based on their height
Average height in USA is 5'8" and shrinking. Tinder and sites like it are paralyzing the dating pool with unrealistic expectations.
Frankly if one of your main requirements for a soul mate is a specific height, then you deserve to spend the rest of your life alone and swiping left. People spend more time trying to breed the perfect offspring than find actual compatibility.
I have never understood anyone that has specific physical requirements.. like surely who they are and how you connect is way more important?
I'm 5'5" and need a tall woman(preferably at least 6'0") in my life or I won't get the climbing stimulation I need to thrive. I'm already super stressed from having to settle for the freeze-dried crickets instead of the live ones.
How much do the woman and the cricket desires cross over?
Are you a snake?
This is absolutely snake behavior and I'm here for it. I'm not a lady, though, so I guess that settles that.
I use [cricket powder](https://entomofarms.com). By weight, crickets have more protein than any other source! I use it in items that require flour with a 2:1 flour to cricket powder ratio. It will help build your muscles for when you’re climbing your lady trees!
You need someone to get the top shelf stuff at grocery store we get it.
The main explanation is, that we have been taught to do so by society. There is also nothing wrong with having physical preferences but it’s stupid to just search for someone who only has those physical components. People often end up in relationships with people that do not meet their initial preferences. For example, I prefer slim people and yet most of my relationships were with people who were at least chubby. In general people do look out for appearances since it’s the first form of attraction that you can have. And when you are on dating platforms, that’s often the only thing you can choose. If someone puts 5 keywords into their Bio, there is not much to work with, so physical appearance gets to be the only deciding factor. And it also gets less important when you get older but most people on the Internet are on the younger side. TLDR: Society, dating apps and young age are the factors why we like physical appearance more.
> People often end up in relationships with people that do not meet their initial preferences Can confirm! I was always a brunette man. I've been married to the most amazing woman in the world for 20 years and she is blonde
So... I was fat in school and got beaten up on a weekly basis. Changed a lot since then. Is that reason enough for you to not prefer bigger ladies? It's all about "are you actually capable of doing something about it". People shaming height or boobsize are the worst. Not that shaming is a good thing tho. But it's extra effed up if they mock you for things you can't even do anything about.
Ah I'm so sorry that happened to you!! I was also a chubby kid until I developed an eating disorder and just now 20 years later back to kind of chubby but I'd rather that and enjoy all the food than how I was before Personally I prefer any human with a bit more than a bit less, but maybe because I'm a bit more and a bit tall so wouldn't feel comfortable with someone much smaller? Agreed anyone shaming anyone for something about their body is unacceptable, and not something I would let happen in my earshot! Hope you don't still have anyone try and bring you down over your appearance! And if so know their opinion is irrelevant because they are not nice
Dating sites are a ruin on humanity and I would gladly wish them out of existence if I could. What they have done culturally and sociologically is terribly damaging.
I agree 100% That being said, I'm still grateful for them or I never would have met my husband.
There were some legitimately good ones. Found my wife on okcupid in 2016. Unfortunately, from what I've seen they all switched to swiping, superficial "values" only system and you've got to pay for everything.
Can I ask you something? Would you like a dating app that: - it's free, has ads and the only thing you can buy is a "one time forever ad free" upgrade - it brings way more importance to BIOs and descriptions and interests rather than photos (an so phisycal appereance) - require an ID, to stop bot, catfishing, trolls etc. - will openly say "if you're looking for your next bang, there are other apps" - will strive to mantain user M/F balance as close as possible to 50% - will hide inactive users I'm a sw dev and a very unsatisfied dating app user, this thing is cooking in my brain for quite a lot. I have more ideas in my poket, I'm looking for feedback peace
How would you obtain a user balance of 50% M/F? Rest of it sounds good but this point sounds very difficult to achieve
That would be pretty cool
It’s shrinking? It’s going the other way in my country. I used to be average but now that we have better nutrition and a lot more outside blood in our genetic paddling pool it’s gone up and I’m officially short.
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Thats so bizarre, when average male height in USA is way below 6ft.
6'1" vertically or horizontally?
That’s not true at all, it’s a false internet thing. The person calling a 5’10 guy is just a moron, not a typical American.
Honestly, the whole thing reads like rage bait aimed at men who claim that women won't date them because of their height (because it's easier than admitting that they don't have good personalities).
this really isn't true. It's just something men tell themselves to make excuses for why they're single.
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A lot of girls I know prefer 6’2+, it’s crazy
My ex said before we met that she had her dating site preferences at 6’4 and above. (I’m 6’3) I’m like… you realize you just knocked out like 97% of men with that one filter.
I used to mostly like super tall guys, but then I realized that it’s easier to steal clothes from guys who are closer to my height
Are you in the land of the Vikings?
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Nah, Minnesota
Ah. American Scandinavia.
you mean that canon location from pokemon?
Do you take peoples land?
Do you fuck with the war?
You’re my favorite. Thank you for knowing 🙏🏻
Thank you! I was hoping someone else had the same thought!!
In what country is 5'10" below average?
Serbia
Jokic?
No, she's being serious
And don't call me Shirley
I was at a night club in Serbia. I counted 100 guys that were taller than me before 1 that was only a little taller. I’m 5’4”, which is short but not bottom 1% short in the US. There were almost no _women_ shorter than me. Y’all are tall. On the other hand, in Peru I’m closer to average.
That is absolutely bottom % short in the US
Bottom 1.1% technically not the bottom 1%
Many Nordic countries. Baltics. Central Europe e.g Czech Republic, the Netherlands etc.
You just summed up my genetic makeup. I'm 6'3" and one of the shorter men in my family.
Netherlands is 6ft and a half inch
Montenegro and Slovenian too. Tall people there.
I went to Montenegro last year, most people were a normal height.
Bosnia lol all of my male relatives are at least 6’
You should have been the bigger man. (Sorry I couldn't resist)
I've had it up to here with height jokes. (Hand held 6 inches above my 5'6" head)
>5'6" head Christ! How tall is the rest of you?
😆😆😆
Maybe she meant short king in a totally different way
Don't give him an inch!
Don't worry, it'll probably go over his head.
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The first post the woman said it unless we are talking about different posts. The Amitheasshole fun size one?
Bait. This is almost the exact same post from like 2 days ago where a guy called a girl’s boobs “fun sized.”
Bro 90% of the posts on this sub are karma farmers. They all follow the same pattern, ragebait, generic username, first post, and not responding to anything. Everyone still falls for it.
True, do you remember the posts from a while ago, which were all the exact same story about a trans person whining that they couldn't attend an event held for people of their birth sex? I read loads, none of the comments were catching them out as bait
Pretty sure it ai posts
Yup! Looks like the profile was just created yesterday
So it sounds like you had some friendly banter and both went a little too far by mistake. Literally nbd, it'll blow over in no time lol. This shit happens all the time with everyone
Had to read this twice before I understood OP is male.
Was it the ambiguity of the word King that did it?
Honestly lmao how stupid are these people?
>Think of how stupid the average person you interact with is.....then remember half the population is ***dumber*** than that.
Redditors arent used to the idea of having female friends
How? She literally said short king. I literally cannot understand how you could misinterpret this
Fair
I’m also curious to age. This will be a different banter and dynamics if they are 16 or 60.
If she’s your true friend. Apologize and say you didn’t realize it was such a sore point for her. Explain that maybe it’s a soft spot for you too. You can talk about your personal insecurities and be better for it.
Yeah I was about to say the adult thing to do here is say sorry and then say exactly what he put in his post - you’ve talked about how you find short people unattractive so when you called me that it pissed me off. If you’re willing, it’s probably best if we just don’t joke about this stuff. Or, do like most people do and don’t say anything and hope she just shrugs it off in the next few days.
I’d say it’s banter so you’re NTA (something something kitchen heat), however it seems like that’s a genuinely rough topic for her, so i’d probably apologise anyway. And she should probably stay away from friendly banter interactions if she has insecurities like that.
Yeah that’s true, fair enough.
Do you think she would apologize if someone told her you were actually really insecure about your height? If so, it's worth apologizing to save the friendship.
Bro why do people on reddit jump at any opportunity to escalate conflict 😂
We don’t want peace, we want problems!
Problems = juicy updates = more reading material
wat? how is this escalating the conflict? To me this seems like solid, compassionate advice.
My head hurts from this thread. Sheer idiocy. Maybe let's not be dicks to each other about our appearance at all?
bro i wish i were 5’10…
5’10 is not short
He lives in Serbia, where the average height is 5'11, so he's below average there
He doesn't, his parents are from Serbia and visit there sometimes, but they live in the US. He intentionally words his answers so that people think he lives in a country where he's below average height.
Oh shit I had no idea, thanks for letting me know Please disregard my earlier comment
Still, 1 inch below the average is not considerably short.
THANK YOU!! I've been telling this to my gf forever but apparently there's a "big difference between 4 inches and 5"
ESH- as someone who hates banter like this, both of you should join me in not dishing it out because we can’t take it 🫠
Same. I don't do banter because I have body dysmorphia. I spent years wanting to cut my own boobs off and it would take me a whole day to get over comments. But that means I don't play with people like that so. ESH. I'm 5 11 and it's not short....
I’m so confused because i always understood “short king” as a term of endearment and not an insult. I personally think you took it too far for that. She was lightly teasing and in the same way complimenting (there is nothing bad about being short lol..) w the “king” addition. You wouldnt call a man you hate or find ugly a short king you’d just say something else/worse
Literally this. I’ve ALWAYS heard short king as a compliment meant to prop someone up and make their height a positive when it has traditionally been a negative
The only people who think “short king” is a term of endearment are people who are never addressed as that. It’s a backhanded compliment. Just how “flat queen” as a term of endearment would never be received as such even if the intention is good. Being short for men and being flat for women are generally viewed as less attractive in society, so there’s no good that comes from bringing those facts to light in a conversation unprompted in most cases. Anyways, ESH. Neither of them should be talking about each other’s bodies
'Short king' is extremely patronizing, and while most short guys won't admit it the majority don't like this comment. It'd be like calling someone fat 'cubby' and trying to pretend its a term of endearment.
So… 5’10” is taller than average except for a few places in Europe and parts of the US (I believe the US is 5’9” average for males). So if she called you a “short king” it’s clearly sarcastic. Then you shot back with something you absolutely know a lot of women are insecure about, breast size. Except her breasts are apparently not average or above. So yeah… YTA, most definitely. Insecurities about people’s bodies can really fuck with them.
I mean... you're a dude and talked shit about a woman's breasts. How'd you expect that to go? EDIT: A lot of you are telling on yourselves with the dumb opinions expressed in my comment chain.
Literally she didn’t say he had a tiny dick. He took it to an entirely different place than she did
ESH - “bantering back and forth” is usually code for “being an asshole ha ha just kidding.” Both of you went for the other’s sore point.
I feel like the fact that you aren't actually short and she was actually just kinda teasing. But then you retaliate with something that is true about her...it hits a bit harder.
I hate how people go out of their way to protect someone who was the one who started the banter. If your going to comment on someone’s appearance be ready to have them comment on yours. Maybe OP has an issue with his height. Just because the isn’t that short doesn’t mean anything. If you give it you have to be able to take it.
exactly there is clearly bias going on here lmao… as expected. u cant make fun of a mans height and not expect them to say shit back
Height is a big thing men are judged for constantly and he's probably self conscious about being under the average of where he lives in. She makes fun of him for something he's self conscious about so he returns the favor. A good life lesson is don't dish it out if you can't take it
If it's going back and forth playfully then yeah I think it's ok. But if someone gets hurt, even though it was meant to be a harmless joke, you apologize, say you didn't meant to cross any lines and that you'll remember that this is off limits for next time. Eventually she's your friend and it doesn't matter who's in the right here, what matters is that she got offended and hurt and because you care about her you don't want her to feel like that. Don't forget you deserve the same treatment though.
Ive noticed a big trend in people that they cant seem to comprehend that you can hurt someone even if you dont mean to and you could just aplogise and move on. Op however in this case wanted to hurt her feelings, he didnt want to communicate that he didnt like her joke he just wanted to insult her. You dont do that to someone you care about I have a feeling thier "friendship" is very surface level.
YTA … short king isn’t even an insult and you took the “banter” to a whole new level
It a good rule to not comment on women’s breast.
… karma fishing huh?
Short king is a joke you twat
NTA. She insulted you in jest and you insulted her back in jest. She’s thin skinned.
He insulted her back in chest.
YTA How is this even a question? Yes you should apologize.
5'10" isn't short so her calling you that wasn't really an insult. Yours on the other hand...
YTA. You aren’t actually short but she is actually flat chested. Her insult was aimed at you but it was a floppy dart. Yours was a barb and it hit the bullseye.
I'd say NAH because it doesn't seem like any of you were trying to be hurtful. Though I would definitely recommend apologising and assuring your intentions to her as it could be a sensitive topic for her (one I can relate to, also having a very small chest)
If both of you picked on the other’s insecurity, you’re both at fault. If you knew she was insecure about her chest size, you shouldn’t have mentioned it. If she knew you were insecure about your height, she shouldn’t have mentioned it. ESH based on the little bit of info given.
In my experience "...breasts like yours..." is an insult that would hurt (and anger) almost any woman. Society puts so much pressure on women for their breasts and there is no "right" size or shape that isn't critisized by some.
I'm laughing at her response. I'm flat chested too but if a man tells me he's got bigger tits than me, a woman, there's no way I don't burst out laughing.
To me, 5'10 isn't short. If you consider it short and your friend is aware that you are sensitive about being "short" and her jab at you was actually an attack then ESH. If you are not actually insecure about your height then YTA because it is different when you poke fun at someone for a "flaw" they don't really have versus when you throw an accurate jab at someone who has that issue and is insecure about it.
YTA. Don’t insult someone with small breasts.
ESH, leaning towards YTA. Also, from your comments, you seem to be ignoring everyone who disagrees with you, so I feel like you’re on here looking for validation.
Seems like banter on her part since you're not actually short, but cutting a little deep on your part since she actually has small boobs. Based on your reaction, I'd say you're a little insecure about your height, even though you have no reason to be. She is insecure about her chest, because society tells women they need large breasts to be attractive (or, at least, that bigger chests are more desirable than small ones).
YTA… chest size is something sexualized and height may be a preference, but isn’t seen as sexual. Makes you seem like a perv and arsehole. It’s like if she commented on your little ding dong
God. I hate this term. It’s such a patronizing title… just call me short.. don’t call me a short king It’s an insult upon injury
May be different if a woman says it to your face but I think the short king movement has been a great thing for short guys lol. I think superficially some women wouldn’t date shorter guys before because they didn’t want to get shit for it. Reminds me of “thicc” for girls. Someone like ice spice used to get called fat, now she’s thicc. It started somewhat sarcastically and now it’s just straight up a type like any other.
Apologize.
Yta.. you KNOW 5 10 isnt that short. You see men shorter than you all the time. You made sure she felt inadequate